I just want to explain that I did not forget about this story. A week after my last update my grandfather passed away and since then it has been agonizingly hard to find the will to want to write. It just isn't the same. He was my biggest fan when it came to the belief in my writing and it's hard. Instead of being excited to write I find myself wanting a different distraction. Then Covid hit my family and while we're all well on our way to being healthy, it is taking longer than the cold or the flu to recover from. I hope all is going well and that all my readers and more are happy and healthy. I do want to thank everyone for their reviews. I absolutely love them and I read every single one of them. I love that so many of you like this story so much and hope that you all continue to read and review. I won't keep you any longer from the next chapter. Enjoy!
A week passes before my social worker arrived at the front door. For a moment I honestly didn't think she'd be coming. Like maybe the phone call alerting us to her impending visit was just a hoax. Fake or not, my nerves had been rubbed past the brink of raw. Instead of just nightmares of my past, they were now a terrifying mixture of being taken away from the Belikovs and shoved into the waiting arms of my past monsters. The result was an almost constant state of absolute unrest. My hands were sore from the sheer amount of cleaning I'd taken on and my eyes were sore from the lack of sleep. Sleep I avoided like the devil was right behind me.
At first the fear of being ripped away from my new family made me feel alone, but it wasn't until I took it upon myself to scrub the baseboards at two in the morning that I realized I was far from alone. The smell of paint flooded my nose when I got close to the stairs and the strange smell snapped me back into the present. Peaking over the banister it was there that I met company in my fear. Olena stood in the hallway touching up the paint, making the walls look so new and fresh it was hard to believe they'd lived in this house for years. Her face was set in a determined frown as she moved with speed and precision. Sitting back I realize that maybe…just maybe I was just as loved as the rest of the children in her family. Maybe she loved me so much that the fear of losing me was equivalent to losing Viktoria or any of the others. Setting down the rag I made my way downstairs.
"Olena…" I start off softly.
The sound of Dimitri's footsteps above distract me, but I keep my attention on the woman in front of me. She jolts in surprise and turns to face me with a bright smile. I don't say anything and instead stare at her with understanding, before letting my own fear surface. Vulnerability out on display I watch her smile crumple and she drops the paintbrush down and rushes forward to envelope me into her arms. Tears rush to my eyes as the warmth ot her body and soul spill over me. She murmurs to me in Russian, but I make no move to ask for a translation as she rubs my back and kisses the top of my head. A large part of me soaks in the motherly love and another large part realizes this is as much for her as it is for me. The knowledge of it is enough to knock the wind out of me.
By the time she managed to let me go, it was with Dimitri's help. From there we were both pushed off to bed, but I could hear Dimitri take up the scrubbing and painting from there. That was three nights ago and now the house looks as if it was brand new. The whole family had ended up pitching in and Abe had even sent some men to do the harder repairs. Chipped paint was sanded and repainted. Windows sparkled, floors had reflections, and the whole house smelled like laundry/baked goods. Smelling the wonderful scent of Black Bread I make quick work of braiding my hair and look over myself in the mirror.
A week of finally eating had pushed me back to almost completely healthy. My hair and skin shined and I'd finally started filling out my clothes again. I had put my hair in two french twist braids and dressed in dark wash jeans with a cream button up cardigan. It hung off me, but still managed to look graceful. Throwing on some boots, I brushed my teeth and knocked on Dimitri's bedroom door on the other side of the bathroom.
"You shouldn't knock on the door today. She'll be here any moment." He lectures when he opens it up.
"Should I put on a shirt under this?" I ask with fake innocence as I unbutton the top two buttons on my cardigan. The fabric parts to show off the cream lace of my bra. His body goes stiff in front of me and I smile. "I don't want her thinking I'm dressed inappropriately."
"You drive me insane." He groans as his fingers follow the top edge of the lacy cup. My skin feels hot and I shudder. Leaning down he kisses me hotly before I feel the buttons slipping back into place. "Go downstairs, before my patience runs out."
"You are no fun. I need a distraction." I pout as I step forward, instead of backward. My soft curves press against his hard planes and I moan a little. "I don't want to feel like I'm going to barf anymore."
His hand strokes my jawline and then pulls my face up for another kiss. My heart thuds against my ribs and the thought of a social worker coming by seeps from my mind. My fingers find his bare chest, he hadn't gotten dressed for the day yet, and I trace over the lines between muscles. He moans and his tongue slips out to meet mine. Barely getting to taste him, he pulls back abruptly and slams the door in my face. Dazed, I stare at the wood before frowning and walking away. Checking over my bedroom one more time I leave the room and stop when I hear a loud groan come from Dimitri's room. Smiling in satisfaction I practically skip down the stairs.
"I want everyone on their best behavior." Olena is in mom mode as she slides a coffee cup across the counter to me without looking. "I'm not saying to act like a saint, but please behave."
"Mama we always behave." Viktoria groans in tired frustration. "You act like this family isn't good enough."
I try to push away my sudden doubt that it's me that isn't good enough and sit next to her. The feeling is successfully banished when she immediately moves to lean her head on me. Her hands under the table shake a little and I understand she's nervous too. I kiss the top of her head.
"Of course we're good enough. This is just a formality." Olena sounds and looks offended. "I just want this to go as smoothly as possible. Now eat up."
I don't bother to object in any way…especially when she places her famous breakfast stew and a healthy slice of buttered black bread in front of me. Dunking it in the stew I let the flavor bliss me out before I open my eyes to find an amused Yeva in front of me.
"It's good food." I tell her defensively. She shakes her head and quirks an eyebrow at me. "What?"
I don't get an answer when I hear Dimitri's footsteps enter the kitchen. Turning to glance at him I notice he looks relaxed and he briefly meets my eyes, his gaze intense. I look away quickly before I start to blush. Looking up I find Yeva amused still, but this time I know why. My face flames up and I look back to my food with more focus than ever. I, however, can't stop myself from listening to his movements.
"Rose, I want you to know that you have no reason to be nervous." Olena says, concern written all over her face. "This is just a routine visit. They want to make sure you're doing better and that the house is good for you."
"I thought you signed paperwork." I ask, thoroughly confused.
"I did, but they still need to do visits to make sure you're doing okay." She explains.
I nod slowly and bring my coffee forward for a sip. Peering over Olena's shoulder I meet the sympathetic gaze of Dimitri. Getting up I rinse my empty bowl and place it in the dishwasher. I barely move another inch when the doorbell rings. I freeze in place as Olena rushes to answer the door. A quick glance showed a nervous Viktoria and a nonplussed Yeva. I turn my gaze to Dimitri who is super focused on his coffee and not on the morning paper. I try to gather myself and end up knocking my coffee cup off the counter. The loud sound of shattering glass fills the kitchen and I jump almost a foot in the air. Blushing deeply I reach down without with a towel to start cleaning.
"We were just finishing up breakfast, but she's in here." Olena's voice distracts me and my hand is suddenly on fire as a sharp shard of the mug slices across my hand.
"Fuck!" I bark out.
"Language."
"Rose, are you okay?"
"Oh no!"
I feel my blush intensify when I glance up to find an unfamiliar face next to Olena's. Dimitri's hand grabs my arm and leads me to the sink to wash out my hand. The feeling of him helps relieve the anxiety a little bit.
"I'm so sorry." I exclaim. "I got distracted."
I hiss at the feeling of warm water sliding through the open wound. Viktoria makes quick work of the mess on the floor and Olena brings over a first aid kit.
"Will it need stitches?" She asks, concerned.
I can barely focus on their words as I watch the social workers pen move across her papers. Tall and skinny came to mind. Other than that, pretty was the next thought whispered into my thoughts. With long blonde hair and skin like spring I felt almost grungy. Her eyes swept over the scene before meeting mine. I fight the urge to shrink back at the almost calculating stare. I try to summon a smile, but I'm sure it just looked like I was passing gas. The feeling of something wrapping around my hand brought me back to the presence of the others.
"There we go!" Olena's bright voice fills my ears and I blink down at my newly bandaged hand. "Now Rose, let me introduce you to your caseworker, Ms. Andrews."
"Hello." I say shortly as I awkwardly wave my injured hand. I quickly lower my hand behind my back to hide my mistake from her.
She smiles back, but focuses back on Olena. I feel a slight rub on my back, before Dimitri sits at the table. Olena goes through the introductions and offers a cup of coffee to Ms. Andrews. She smiles at everyone and takes a sip before pulling out some kind of checklist. I continue to hide behind the counter. Yeva moves to the living room, Viktoria with her.
"So this is just a standard checklist I'm required to do upon the first visit. I'd like to do that and then afterwards I'd like to have a talk with Rosemarie." She says in a smooth voice.
I watch Olena and Dimitri relax at the explanation, but I just tense. Not bothering to say anything I follow as the three move through the house. She checks things like fire alarms and asks questions about the amount of people in rooms there are. I watch as she takes in every detail of the house as she scribbles furiously across her clipboard. Olena and Dimitri answer every question with brutal honesty as she peaks into all the rooms and checks more things I didn't think could possibly be relevant to her checklist. Finally she reached my room and I feel my tension rise to an impossibly high level.
"Is going into my room really necessary?" I ask in a strained tone. All three adults turn to look at me with confusion. "I…I just…"
My words fail and I dip into silence. Ms. Andrews tilts her head before turning to open my door and enters my room. The thought of a complete stranger in my room has me uncomfortable, but the thought that she could take me away if she doesn't like what she finds has my heart pounding and my stomach churning. We all enter and I watch as she notes my fire alarm and tests my window. Her gaze takes in my room with a clinical sweep. As if sensing my discomfort Olena tries to fill the silence.
"Rose actually decorated it herself. We wanted her to have a space solely her own and don't you think it turned out wonderfully?"
I blush at her praise and then flinch.
"I think this would be the perfect place for us to have our talk. Would you two mind if we did that alone?" Her smooth voice sounds warm, but the undertone sets me on edge.
Smiling and nodding my two safe havens left the room with encouraging smiles. I remain rooted in the doorway, fidgeting with my cardigan. Observing each other I try to hide the thundering of my heart. For once this piece of the world, solely for me, feels dangerous. Clearing my throat I move further into the room and sit down at my desk. Sensing my willingness to talk she sits on my blanket chest across the room. My palms feel hot and I rub the against my jeans.
"There's no need to be so nervous." She says, giving me a soft smile. It does nothing to soothe me. "I just want to see how you're doing and settling in."
"I'm fine." I explain shortly. "I like it here."
"Not one for words are you." She says, sounding amused.
I don't reply. Instead I pull a folder down from one of the shelves of my desk. I walk over and hand it to her before escaping back to my chair. I watch as she sorts through it with diligence, before looking up to me with absolute curiosity.
"A report folder?" She asks slightly shocked.
"It has all of my latest reported grades, pay stubs, and even some mental health tests I took the liberty of printing off to fill out each day." I tell her clearly. "I also included some copies of photos my friends and I took."
"I see." She says drifting off as she studies my face. "Do you think this is what I want?"
Her tone isn't rude or even angry. It's just filled with curiosity. Her gaze moves over my skin and I feel it prickle in the wake of it. My heart still pounds inside my chest.
"It's easier. I make top grades and it helps show that I have a steady job." I explain.
"I'm more worried about how you're adjusting to this new home." She says with a pucker of her lips.
"I'm doing great and that folder helps show that." I feel irked. "I'm in a room that doesn't have mold in the walls or smells like cigarettes. I have friends that I hang out with and feel stable enough to handle a job and school."
"How do you feel about all of that?" She asks steadily.
Meeting her eyes I know for a fact she's going to keep prying until she finds an answer she's satisfied with.
"I feel safe." I tell her plainly.
She doesn't say anything and then she finally smiles. For once it feels absolutely genuine.
"I must say that this is a first." She chuckles. "I've never been handed a progress report from a case before. It's quite impressive."
I want to relax, but I can't and my muscles are screaming with how bunched up they are. I watch as she looks through my folder again.
"When I first got your case file I was worried. Your original mental evaluation was concerning." She says, shaking her head smirking. "Now I just see that you clam up when you perceive a threat. It's unfortunately a trauma response, but I see you've learned to utilize it in one of the most responsible ways possible."
I don't say anything at her observation. She lays the file on my bed along with her paperwork and truly looks at me. I do the same in silence.
"I'm not here to take you away, Rosemarie." She reassures me. "I'm here to make sure that you're doing well and that your environment is one that is healthy for you."
"I go by Rose." I correct her softly.
"From what I see, you've been placed with an excellent family. I've seen fake fronts, and I confidently can say this isn't one." She says firmly. "Everyone has their own space. It's kept clean and seems to be genuine in the warmth displayed throughout the entire house. Look at this room. This is not a room of someone being neglected."
"They wouldn't take no for an answer." I tell her looking around.
"They don't seem like the kind of people to do that." She agrees. "Regardless of your folder and what I have observed, I want to know your feelings on that. Feeling safe is something that makes me ecstatic. What concerns me is how nervous you are and I just want you to know that it's okay to feel that way, but I promise that unless you tell me you're in danger, I am only here to report back that the placement is going fantastic."
I don't say anything for a moment. Glancing at the door I finally feel myself relax just a little bit.
"Some days it feels like a dream." I tell her gently. "Almost like I'm going to wake up and find myself in some disgusting hotel room."
"I bet that must feel disorientating." She says, nodding in agreement. I stay silent for a minute more.
"Have you found my mother yet?" I ask shakily.
The question makes everything inside of me want to flinch. I watch as she doesn't waver. I have a feeling she knew the question was coming. I try not to feel like a child hopeful that their mommy is just around the corner. After the last 16 years…it's hard to understand the feeling rising inside of me. After the sheer amount of neglect and abuse, I shouldn't want to know anything about her.
"We haven't been able to locate her." She says softly. "Does that upset you?"
"No." The lie slides from me easily. She doesn't look fooled. "I promise I'm happy here. I just…I just wanted to know where she went."
The admission has me absolutely nauseated.
"Well I don't want to be your mother!"
The words slide through me with astonishing sharpness and I flinch at it a little. Smiling sadly she gets up and kneels before me. Slowly reaching out she pats my knee.
"It's okay to love her."
At her words, I feel my heart break and I look away quickly to hide the fact that she's shaken me greatly. Another couple of pats on my knee and she gets up gathering her things and my folder. I listen to her leave the room and shut the door behind her. The minute the click of it shut hit my ears, tears flooded down my face and I felt my hands grab at my chest as a low sob breaks from my lips. I don't move for a long time and just let my tears go and go until they dry up on their own. Getting up I go into the bathroom and wash my face, before I make my way to sit at the top of the stairs. I listen to the house moving about and realize the caseworker must've left already. Sighing in relief, I make my way back downstairs. The kitchen was packed with family members looking concerned and murmuring amongst themselves.
"Rose!" Olena exclaims when she catches sight of me. Rushing forward she doesn't hesitate to draw me into her arms. I feel my leftover dread drain from my body. "We wanted to give you time to yourself. Are you okay?"
She pulls back to look over my face. I smile softly and nod. Pleased with my response she pushes me over to table and sits me next to Karolina. Her hand immediately rubs my back in her own motherly response. I finally relax back into my safe place, surrounded by the family that make that possible. Looking around I watch as they all smile at me and I know that there will never be a single chance I'd ever feel in danger here.
Dimitri's POV -
It didn't take a professional to see that the caseworker's visit had been terrible for her. All morning she moved around like a…like a scared child. She followed us room by room as we answered all of Ms. Andrews questions like a ghost. Almost like she was afraid if she was seen, the woman inspecting our home would drag her off immediately. The sight made me itch to reach out and whisk her away from the perceived threat. It was alarmingly hard when mama and I had to leave her alone to talk to the woman. My poor Roza looked like she would rather be buried alive than be left alone with her caseworker. Their talk had only lasted 10 short minutes before Ms. Andrews came downstairs to announce she was pleased with everything. It took Roza another 3 hours before she came downstairs to join the rest of us.
Sighing I shove aside the memory of her pale face as she shuffled slowly and almost cautiously into the kitchen. Whatever the woman and her talked about had obviously taken a toll on her. It was another hour before she was back to herself. Pinching the bridge of my nose, I attempt to push down the stress of seeing her like that.
"Dimitri?" I stand up from my bed quickly and open the bathroom door to find her on the other side. She looks small, but strong. Shaken, but determined to move forward. "I…I was hoping you wouldn't mind if I slept with you tonight?"
I don't hesitate to move aside and let her enter. I lock my bedroom door as she settles into bed and shut the light off before moving to curl around her amongst the blankets. The smell of her lavender shampoo fills my senses and I stroke over the bare skin of her arms as we relax in silence. I want to ask her what they talked about. I want to kiss her until she forgets everything outside of this bed. Instead, I don't push for anything. It's not about me, it's about what she needs. I kiss the top of her head and listen to her breathing deepen and even out. I don't stop stroking her arm. The need to touch her is too much. Smiling into her hair I slowly feel sleep make its way over me and drift off.
Rose's POV -
I have no idea how long I slept with Dimitri curled around me. I do know that when my eyes opened the world around me was dark and he was still entwined around me. Turning I tilt my face up to observe him. He looks so peaceful and it bleeds into me in a way that has my heart skipping beats.
I love you.
The words fill my mind as I let my fingers slide over his bare torso. When I knocked on his door I didn't know what it was for. All I knew was that after everything, all I wanted was to be near him. It filled me with absolute peace when he didn't push for me to talk or even start anything sexual. He was just content to hold me in silence. Content to be there for me in the way I needed.
I love you.
Something shifts inside of me and I know I can't hold back anymore. Leaning my head forward I press kisses along the skin of his upper chest. My fingers stoke along the skin of his forearm and I squirm closer to him. His breathing is still even until I move my kisses up his neck and against his lips. I feel his breathing speed up as his lips begin to move back against mine drowsily. The feeling sends a haze over my mind. His hands move under my shirt to sit on the skin of my lower back, pressing me forward against his body further. Lifting my leg, I drape it across his hip and nip at his lower lip.
His eyes finally open and I pull back just enough that his breath still grazes against my lips. His hand moves up to stroke my face and I enjoy the soft brushes. I hold his eyes and he waits patiently, obviously sensing something inside of me. Turning I kiss his palm gently.
"I love you." I whisper into it, before I turn my face back to look at him fully again.
Gone is the last bit of sleep hanging onto him. His body jolts like he's been shocked to life. His hand stills on my face and trembles a little.
"What?" He croaks weakly. I brush a fluttering kiss over his lips and pull back.
"I love you." I repeat gently to him.
His lips fall onto mine with urgency and I open my mouth to accept him as he groans. Rolling so he's now fully on top of me I moan in response when every inch of him is pressed into me. Pulling back he kisses down my neck and whispers something between each peck, suckle, and nip. My fingers brush over him, not able to feel enough of him for my liking. My head spins when he lifts me enough to pull off my sleep shirt. The sheer amount of skin touching makes me feel drugged as I kiss wherever I can reach. Our urgency kicks up a couple of gears when I register he's whispering my words back over and over. Whispering his love over every inch of my skin he comes across.
My body is on fire as I use my feet to kick his pants and boxers down enough to free his erection and lift my lower half as he quickly takes my underwear off. I gasp when I feel him fill me without any wait or warning. Leaning forward I tug his face back to mine as I kiss him again. Pouring my feelings into him as I lift my hips to move in tangent with him.
"I love you." I repeat to him. His thrusts pick up in speed and his hands grip my hips firmly. "I love you."
My words are like spurs and he lets go of his control as his head drops into the crook of my neck. His hips piston into me almost desperately and a small cry leaves my lips. My body slides against his and I spread my legs further to take as much of him as I can. Amazement fills me at the feeling of sheer power above me. Muscles and strength moving against me and inside of me. I feel a flutter of an orgasm start and I feel my nails dig into his back as I throw my head back. As if sensing my impending crash, his hips speed up even more and become jerky just in time to fall over the edge with me. His cry is muffled against my skin as I moan softly into the room.
Our breathing is harsh compared to the silence of the room and I stroke his back as he makes no move to roll off of me. I don't mind. The weight of him, the feeling of his skin touching mine…it sends another shiver through my body. His arms move to hold him up as he looks down at me. Smiling into his dazed face, I repeat my soul to him.
"I love you."
I hope it was worth the wait! Please please please leave a review and let me know what you think of it!