I just wanted to take a moment and once again thank everyone for their patience. I loved all of your reviews. I greatly appreciated all of the well wishes and hope everyone that's reading my stories is doing well. It's been such a year and we're only 4 months in. I'm not going to hold out with a long Author's Note. I hope you enjoy this next chapter and please leave me your thoughts and opinions! Disclaimer: I only own my own ideas. VA characters belong to Richelle Mead!

Rose's POV -

I know most people believe in fate. The thing that controls the line you walk in life. The thing that sets the boundaries and controls the happenings out of your reach. I'd like to think it doesn't exist, because if living in a constant state of nerve wrecking anticipation is my fate, I think I'd rather throw myself in front of a car. The last phone call was a whole week ago and unlike the feeling of happiness the new signs of spring were showing gave me, the anticipation for another phone call has me stuck in an almost paralyzing anxiety. No more paralyzed than with the knowledge that eventually I'd have to answer back with a conversation. If I did I can only imagine the things that would be said. Would it be about my mother? Could it be about me? Could it just be to remind me of the power of disgusting fear he held over me? I shudder to think of how any of it would go if just the sound of his voice makes me sick to my stomach. If I didn't answer though…what could be the consequences of that? Groaning under my breath I try to focus on the math test in front of me, but for once the numbers just dance over the page instead of sitting still so I can clearly answer them. Rubbing a hand over my face I look around and find nothing out of place with the classroom. Every student is silent as they focus on the paper in front of them and the teacher at the front looks like he's dying with pure boredom. Each glance at the people around me leaves me with a sickening level of jealousy. All lead ordinary lives. They have families, work, school, and a home. None had to deal with the questions tumbling around in my mind every moment of my life. How nice it must be. I can barely stand that thought as well.

The bell ringing interrupts my thoughts and I'm forced to hand in a practically blank test. The hallways are filled with the loud talking of friends meeting up at lockers and teachers yelling not to run in the halls. So simple the picture I find myself. I wish my mind was as simple. Frowning, I open my locker and shove my unnecessary books inside. Putting on my jacket, I'm quick to head to Dimitri's classroom as the rest of the school empties out through various exits. I find him grading papers at his desk. I feel guilt rise within me as I watch the simplicity of the moment. Grading papers. That's it. His life was easily laid out. He takes care of his family, teaches kids who would probably throw away his hard taught lessons the moment they graduate, and goes about life like any normal adult…that is without me. No, now he's in dangerous water. Carrying out an affair with a student. His godsister. A girl with a troubling past. For a brief moment I can't help but acknowledge that if I never came home with his mother, he wouldn't be in danger of losing his career and possible outcasting from his family if our relationship came to life. He wouldn't be in danger from my past.

"If you think any harder, they might hear you in China." His voice cuts through the silence of the classroom. I shake myself out of my thoughts and smile.

"I was hoping you might give me a ride home?" I throw out. "Viktoria has debate team practice this afternoon and I'm off of work today."

"I need to finish grading the last of these essays, but I'd be happy to take you home." He says not looking up from his work.

Not needing any further prompting, I take a seat at the desk in front of his and pull out one of my new poetry books. Abe had dropped it off during one of his visits. At first I avoided it like the plague. Every last poem was written by victims of abuse and it was enough to have me shoving it out of sight, but the most recent call, I had pulled it from its hiding spot.

I hear the pounding of boots.

I fear the shouting that follows.

I breathe in prayer I'll be forgotten.

I cry with pain that I'm not.

I close the book abruptly and frown at the board. If this was a taunting of fate, it can kiss my ass. Looking back to Dimitri I feel my frown deepen. I'd been struggling all week with the urge to tell him. Where would it get me though? Where would it get me to burden him with the weight of my own problems? I feel the world around me get heavier and I shift in my seat as a battle opens up inside me. He could help me. The words drift through my mind and I feel hopelessness rise in me. Could he? There was only so much someone could do, and in all honesty what is there to help with? Two phone calls doesn't warrant anything that can be helped. Police can't be called. Social Services might take it wrong and yank me from home. The whole family would be on edge with the same anticipation that's weighing on me.

"Roza?" I glance up to find Dimitri's concerned eyes on me. "What's wrong?"

I bite my lip as the voice telling me to let it all out starts to scream. My feelings must be playing out on my face, because his concern only grows stronger and he pushes aside his papers. I need to distract him. Throw out something completely irrelevant, but nothing comes to mind. Only a flood of repressed fear and pain from enduring this by myself. I open my mouth but nothing comes out and I know I must look like an idiot. I shake my head, but my thoughts only grow more conflicted as I fight to sort them out. Dimitri waits patiently, somehow knowing I need time to gather myself. I look at him with self exasperation.

"I…I got another phone call." I hear myself say against my will. I watch as Dimitri registers what I'm talking about and feel my anxiety grow when his face darkens.

"When?" He asks firmly. His tone calls for complete truth. No lies.

"Last week." I feel like a small child waiting for punishment. "He said he wants to talk."

Something distinctly Russian flies from his mouth and he stands up to pace in front of me. I feel regret move through me as I watch my weight settle on his shoulders. I don't say anything. No matter how much I trust him…love him, something inside of me is still scared he'll take one look at me and rethink everything. As if sensing my retreat, he stops pacing and looks at me. I look down, unable to meet his eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me?" His voice is calm and his expression evens out.

"It was just a phone call." I tell him, still focused on the surface of the desk. "What was I supposed to say? I'm afraid of the telephone ringing."

"Yes." His sharp honesty has my eyes snapping up to meet his. "Why do you insist on taking everything on alone?"

"It's not your problem." I frown. "This is MY problem. The last thing I need is to bring my troubles to your door."

"I don't even know how to respond to that." He says bluntly.

"They're just phone calls." I repeat just as bluntly.

He doesn't respond to me. Instead he packs up the remaining papers and we leave the school. His silence has me on edge as we drive home. Picking at a loose thread on my pants I can hardly settle on any of my thoughts as they race around in my head. It's not until we're in the house that he takes my hand and drags me up the stairs. He doesn't release my hand until we're in his room and the door is shut and locked behind us. He stands in front of it and I drop my bag on the ground as I sit down on the edge of the bed. We both stare at the other with blank expressions. Minutes go by with us silently staring at each other and it drives me insane. What could he possibly be thinking?

"Say something." I break first.

"Have I ever given you any reason to doubt that you couldn't trust me?" He asks, not moving from in front of the door.

"No." I answer honestly.

"I'm trying to understand you Rose." He groans. "Whether it's a phone call or not, this obviously has you spooked. Yet, instead of telling someone, you decide to bottle it up."

"This isn't your problem and letting you in on it makes it your problem." I explain to the best of my ability.

"Anything threatening you IS my problem." His voice is strong. "It's my responsibility to keep you safe."

"I'm not your responsibility." I frown. "It's a relationship, not a chore."

"No, it's not a chore, but trying to get you to trust me enough to let me in feels like one."

His sharp reply is like a slap in the face and I feel my heart stutter. Hurt flashes in me and I look away quickly, trying to compose myself. I want to rage and storm off. Hide in my room from his thoughts and feelings, but I know he has the right to feel and think what he wants. Sighing I rub at my temples.

"I can't tell you without opening doors I'm not ready to open." I urge. "There are things…what if it's too much? What if you can't handle it? I'm happy here. I don't want to lose it."

"Is that what you're so afraid of? That we'll stop loving you?" He sounds neutral. "No one is going to send you away, Rose. We're your family. Nothing is going to change that."

"That's what you think." I snap at him. "Just wait until some dangerous crackhead comes banging on your door. You think you won't blame me when it puts the family in danger? Paul, Zoe, Viktoria. Can you honestly tell me that you won't get upset when he turns them into a piece in his psycho game?"

"Yes." He says immediately. I glare at him in response.

"You say that now." I spit out. "My life has been nothing but drama. None of you need it."

"None of that is your fault." He says.

I shake my head and bite my lip at his words. I want to believe him. For years I just wanted someone…anyone to tell me none of it was my fault. I know though, that deep down I'll always believe it was. Years of my mother's hate have hammered it into me and no matter how desperately I want to shed the weight of it, it'll always be there. Always sit on my shoulders. I feel him kneel in front of me and fingers gently pull my face to look at him. His brown eyes bore into mine and I can't see anything but love and concern. I have to fight not to shy away from it.

"Rose." He breathes out as pain rolls through his eyes. "None of this is your fault."

Tears fill my eyes as the words batter against me. Deep inside, I feel the little girl I've locked away cry. My mother's face flashes in my mind and I feel the hope of even trying to believe his words shatter. Would I always feel like this? Would I ever shake this nightmare?

"It feels so heavy." I admit to him being honest.

His arms drag me forward and against him as he hugs me. I let my tears run into his shirt silently. He murmurs to me in Russian and I let myself soak in his warmth. For just a moment I feel the crushing weight lift from my shoulders just a little bit. I burrow into him some more, desperate to get rid of more. Sliding from the bed I straddle his thighs and wrap my arms around his neck, bringing me eye level with him. Leaning forward I brush my lips against his and feel him respond immediately. I focus on our kisses and use them to push away the darkness that has snuck back up on me. Lose myself to the pleasurable burn that washes through me. Just when I'm on the brink of advancing this, Dimitri pulls away from me. His forehead leans against mine as I feel him fight down the urge to carry this further. Opening my eyes, I stare into his thoughtful my weight I press down on the hardness between my legs and feel a slight victory as his eyes close and a quiet grunt leaves him. My victory is short lived when I feel his hands grip my hips and pull me away to set me on the bed. Frowning at him, I try not to feel rejected.

"I can't always be your distraction. It's not healthy." He says smiling apologetically at me.

"I don't want to think about it." I frown.

"Sex isn't the answer." He replies clearly.

Sighing, I fall back on the mattress. I'm far from feeling rejected. I hear him moving around the room and then the bed dips as he lays next to me. Grabbing my hand, he twines our fingers together. This time the silence feels anything but edgy. This time we lay there as I feel him lend me his quiet support. I don't know how long we laid like that, but eventually our time came to an end. That night Olena and Dimitri both sat down with me and I went over the first and second phone call with them. Olena was absolutely distraught at my harassment. I explained as much as I could about "Uncle Tommy". I wasn't able to bring myself to tell them the darkest details, but the parts I was able to tell them left me feeling came to the conclusion that we'd keep an eye out and even through my begging Olena called my social worker to tell her about the situation. By the end of the night I felt completely exhausted. Neither objected when I went to bed afterwards.

The following days were filled with an underlying anxiety. Olena insisted on taking me to work and Dimitri was always there to pick me up. I was never left alone in the house and it was decided that I wouldn't be allowed to answer the phone. While the care they were clearly showing should've left me feeling safe, it only smothered me. Even Viktoria, informed about everything later on, felt smothered on my behalf. Which is why I find myself listening to her fighting on my behalf at this morning's breakfast.

"It's just a party. If I'm allowed to go then Rose should get to go too." Viktoria argues with Olena.

"Things are tense at the moment Viktoria." She says firmly as she flips crepes in the skillet. "We don't know what lengths this man would go to."

"If he hasn't come knocking already, then I doubt he'll show up at a high school party." She sniffs with attitude. "You can't keep her locked up forever mama."

Adrian, who worked in Abe's shop, is throwing a party tonight and after finding me settling in to do another day of housework today, has taken it upon herself to get me out of the house. The sheer mention of me leaving the protection of her home had sent Olena into immediate rejection. I didn't even want to go, but just hearing her saying no to Viktoria had my skin crawling at the thought of another moment spent hidden in my room. It also cemented Viktoria's urge to fight for my freedom. I smile at her from over my coffee mug. Olena looks over at us and I watch as she fights with herself. Looking around I find Dimitri not here and know that if there's any chance of Viktoria succeeding, it was with him gone. If I had thought Olena was protective, it was nothing compared to my hulking Russian God. Just mentioning wanting to walk home from school had sent him into a frenzy.

"I don't want Rose any more anxious than she already is." Olena says in a last ditch effort to dissuade her daughter.

"Did you ask her how she feels?" Viktoria retorts, gesturing at me dramatically. "Did you ever think to see how she feels on house arrest?"

This makes Olena pause and I already know Viktoria's won. Olena bows her head before looking at me. Her eyes sweep over my face as I chew on a mouthful of crepes. I stare back at her with a blank face and I watch as she sighs.

"Rose?" She asks tightly.

"It…I am feeling a bit cooped up." I tell her slowly. "It would be nice to get out for a night."

Olena stares at us both before letting a small amused smile of consent break over her face. She waves at us and turns around as Viktoria squeals in excitement. Relief fills me and I can't help but smile brightly. The rest of the morning passes by quickly and we spend the day cleaning up the house before settling into my room to get ready for the party. After digging around in my closet she heads over to her own room, before coming back with an armful of clothes. Throwing them on the bed I watch as she digs around humming thoughtfully to herself. After a few moments she throws items at me to catch.

"I'm not wearing this." I tell Viktoria with absolution ringing in my tone.

It has been settled. She has lost her damn mind. I stare at the short black leather skirt and cropped burgundy lace cami. She laughs at my expression and throws me black suede boots that will go up to above my knee.

"You have a figure to die for." She says, her tone brokering no room to argue. "It's a party and what better place to flaunt the goods than a party?"

"Who says I need to flaunt the good?" I sputter.

"Me. Now be a good girl and get dressed." She says firmly.

I fold just as quickly as Olena. Sliding on everything she's laid out, I fight not to look in the mirror. I sit down and she throws my hair up in some space buns leaving some pieces to frame my face and hands me her makeup bag. I apply some dark burgundy lipstick and add a little mascara, preferring not to overload my face makeup. Turning I watch as slides some pumps onto her feet and admire her velvet bodycon dress. It doesn't take long for the time to leave to come up.

"Look at me." She says with a serious face. "You run for the door. Understand? At no point do you look back. If Dimika sees us he will melt down on everyone for even thinking of letting you out of the house."

"I doubt that." I snort, trying to hide the fact that I know she's right.

"Dimika is so freaking protective. You are no exception. He's so bad when it comes to you. Well you know why. Anyways….getting out the door is the mission." She says. "Run."

"You are so paranoid." I tell her rolling my eyes.

Opening the door I follow her quickly down the stairs and grab my coat from the hook. Yelling out a quick goodbye, she grabs my hand and pulls me from the house. We rush down the walkway and into a waiting cab. The entire cab ride is filled with excited giggling and Viktoria snapping selfies as she claims we're too hot not to take pictures. I feel her confidence spreading through me and embrace it wholeheartedly. By the time we're dropped off outside of a huge house on the other side of town, we're completely pumped for the party. Music blares from inside and people litter the front lawn. Grabbing my hand, I'm dragged inside and into the most intense party I've ever seen. The only light is blacklight and the music is so loud I feel my heart thrumming in time to its beat. People are everywhere and it's so hot I can barely breathe, but for some reason I feel myself blend in with the scene.

"Let's get a drink." Viktoria yells in my ear as we dance our way through the house.

By the time we get to the home bar both of us are moving our bodies with the rhythm of music and in time with the rest of the party's occupants. Without any hesitation she hands me a small glass with clear liquid in it. I stare at it with reservation, but Viktoria downs it in one go.

"Drink Rose." She laughs as she shakes her hips to the music.

"Viktoria, this is alcohol. I thought you meant soda." I shout over the loud tunes.

"It's a party Rose. Let loose for once. You deserve it." She shouts back.

Not seeing the harm in one drink, I shoot the liquid back and try not to puke it back up as it burns down my throat and hits my stomach like a brick. No fucking way am I doing that again. I feel myself light up when I see Eddie and Mason making their way over to us.

"DAMN HATHAWAY!" Eddie yells dramatically. He takes my hand and spins me. "HOW ARE YOU SINGLE?!"

"Fuck Rose!" Mason continues. "Who needs Viagra when you're walking around?"

"Same for you Viktoria!" Eddie shouts at her, looking her up and down with approval.

I throw them the finger and Viktoria preens like a proud peacock. Rolling my eyes I reach out, grabbing Mason's drink, and take a swig. Immediately my face turns into a look of disgust. Looking at the can I realize it's beer and not soda. The three of them laugh at me and I hand the can back to Mason.

"Not a drinker?" Eddie asks as Mason grabs my hand. I shake my head at him as I'm dragged into the middle of the dancing crowd.

"Well, hopefully you can dance." Mason laughs as he starts dancing with me.

Without any prompting, I let myself go. Moving to the beat I let my body sway, bounce, dip, grind, and shake. My life fades away and all that matters is the movement of my body. The rhythm of carelessness takes over me and I embrace it excitedly. Viktoria and I dance against each other as Humble blasts through an amazing sound system. Eddie and Mason take turns dancing with us as well. We only take breaks for drinks and after a while I realize I'm definitely buzzed. Eventually the lack of clear air gets to me and I drag myself away from the others to step outside. The night air hits me and I suck it in like my life depends on it. By now the party has moved out onto the lawn as well and I stand on the large porch and watch people dance in the outdoor strobe and laser lights.

"Well look who finally decided to hit up one of my parties." Adrian's voice catches my attention and I smirk at him.

"Well I had to see if they were worth the hype." I tell him teasingly.

"They're always worth the hype." He stops and looks over me with blatant approval. "As are you."

"Shut up." I tell him with an eye roll.

"No, I mean it, Hathaway. You could melt ice with just the outfit alone." He flirts shamelessly. "Dance with me."

He steps up against me as he commands me to the dance floor. Maybe it's the atmosphere. Maybe it's the drinks. Either way I let him grab my hand and lead me out onto the lawn. I come to a quick conclusion it's definitely the drinks when I don't object to his body dancing against me as we move to the beat.

"So what really drags you out here? I figured the Russian would keep you on lock down." His words raise red flags and I turn to stare at him in apprehension. "Ahhhhh, didn't know I figured out how things are between you two."

"I don't know what you're talking about." I deny.

"Now Rose, I thought we were friends?" He clucks at me as he keeps moving against me. "Friends don't lie to each other."

I keep moving with him in hopes I'm not giving anything away. I don't respond to him and I don't need to. He keeps talking.

"I work for Abe. It's my job to know things." He explains with a grin.

"Well then you suck at it." I tell him as I start to pull away.

"Rose." He says seriously as he grabs my arm. "I won't say anything, but you need to be more careful. If I've noticed it's only a matter of time before someone else does too. Not many people will take kindly to a cradle robber."

I don't say anything as I yank my arm away from him. I rush back into the house. This time I have to push my way to the drink station. I panicked and freaked out to dance my way through the crowd. Adrian's words play on repeat in my head and I quickly take two shots in an attempt to calm my nerves. The effect is almost instantaneous and a small voice in my head is whispering I'll regret it later. Ignoring it, I take another shot and make my way back onto the dance floor. Viktoria smiles and I smile back as she drags me back into a dance. The world starts to melt off again and I relax as I shake my ass against Viktoria's front as she grinds back against me. I hear someone whistle. Viktoria and I start to change our dance style when I see her face pale abruptly. I don't pay attention to Mason and Eddie stiffening.

"Are you okay?" I ask, concerned as I reach out to feel her forehead.

"No one is about to be okay."

The deep accented voice has me snapping to attention. Looking at Viktoria with horror I watch as Eddie grabs her arm and pulls her away and into the safety of the crowd. Mason has already disappeared. Looking around I notice no one seems to notice who's behind me and as I lose track of Viktoria I feel myself turn around. Standing tall, intimidating, and pissed is Dimitri. He glares down at me and I feel myself flinch at the fury in his eyes, but watch as something else flashes through them when he takes a good look at me. It's at this time that the three extra shots make themselves known.

"Dimitri!" I yell, smiling. He doesn't smile back.

"There's a crazy man out there somewhere and you choose to go to a party." His tone is filled with anger.

"Well…" I get cut off.

"Anything can happen to you. Have you lost your mind?!" He grabs my hand and pulls me through the crowd.

People part for him, and I hear someone yell busted. As we pass by, people go back to dancing and I can't find Viktoria anywhere. I do catch sight of Adrian who gives me an all knowing look that I stick my tongue out at. We make it halfway through the rave on the lawn before I manage to yank my hand out of his grip.

"Oh my God!" I exclaim with a giggle. "It's a party, loosen up."

He turns with disbelief written all over his face. His eyes run over me again and I watch as he takes a deep breath. Moving closer to me again he glares.

"Have you been drinking?" His voice screams deadly, but I'm too buzzed to care.

"Does Tequila count?" I ask innocently before I giggle.

Without warning the earth spins and my body folds in half over a shoulder. It takes me a moment to get over my shock and when I do I find my humor falling away. Dimitri had thrown me over his shoulder and was now carrying me through a crowd of cheering people and out of the party.

"Are you serious?!" I screech. "Put me down right now!"

"Obviously you're too intoxicated to think straight so I'm going to have to do that for you." He barks over his shoulder.

I slap at his back and feel red hot heat fill my face in mortification. My mortification only grows when I hear the car door open and I'm dropped into the passenger seat of his truck. The door slams shut on my cry of rage. I don't have to wait long before he gets in and starts driving.

"What about Viktoria?!" I yell at him in outrage.

"Viktoria will be dealt with later!" He grinds out. I notice him going the opposite direction of the house and throw my hands up.

"Where are we going?" I snap at him.

He doesn't answer as he pulls into the secluded trail parklot we'd once utilized. The truck is barely in park and I'm flying out of it. I hear the slam of Dimitri's door and turn to face him. If a look can kill someone, Dimitri would drop dead. I glare at him and he glares right back at me.

"What the fuck is wrong with you!" I scream at him.

"Me? Are you fucking kidding me?!' He hollers back. "You have a crazy man calling you, he could be following you, and you choose to go to a party and drink?"

"It's just a party!" I'm absolutely heated. "A party full of people I go to school with. You threw me over your shoulder and embarrassed me in front of all of them!"

"That's what you're worried about?!" He shouts as he comes over and grabs my arm. I yank it quickly from his grasp.

"DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!" I'm screaming all over again.

"You need to get back in the truck. I need to take you home so you can sleep this off." He hisses at me.

"I'm not drunk! I did have a buzz BEFORE YOU CARRIED ME OUT!" I screech at the end.

"Well then make decisions like a responsible sober person!" He's towering over me, but I just rise up, toe to toe with him.

"Don't lock me in a house and maybe I won't need to go to parties." I spit at him. "I just wanted to have a good time with Viktoria."

"Viktoria should've never have pulled this and she will be in trouble just as much as you" His voice is filled with promise and I sneer at him.

"Sometimes it feels like she cares about me more than you." I throw the words at him like a rock.

He backs up and throws his hands up. His eyes run over me again and I see his hackles rise.

"What the hell are you wearing?" He barks at me.

"Clothes." I hiss back.

"Where?!" He's gesturing at me with a wild look in his eyes.

"They're dancing clothes." I yell at him. "You're making a big deal over nothing."

"Don't even get me started on dancing." He yells. "What you were doing was NOT dancing. You're lucky it was with Viktoria that you were doing…THAT with. Even then the boys were practically salivating over you two."

"Oh my God." I laugh humorlessly. "You want to tell me I'm just asking for it? If someone wants to try something I can handle them."

"You are not invincible Rose!" He booms. "Whether it's teenage boys or grown men out to hurt you. You aren't always going to be able to protect yourself."

"CHILL OUT!" I yell back at him. I push past him. "I can't talk to you like this."

Hands reach out and grab my waist and I'm pushed roughly up against the truck door. My arm is immobilized behind me and my feet are kicked widely apart. Dimitri's heavy body leaves me no room to move. Throwing my head back, I leap up at the same time and slam my head into his chin. His hands briefly let go, but only grab me again once I turn to face him. This time my back hits the door instead of my front.

"STOP!" He shouts angrily.

"LET GO OF ME!" I'm screaming, but I'm unable to break from his grip.

"Do you see?" He asks suddenly, sounding calm…but deadly. "Do you see what I mean? Anyone strong enough can pin you like this. Anyone can grab you like this and anything can happen."

My heart thunders in my chest when I realize that he's making a point and not just manhandling me. He wanted to prove a point and he's succeeded. We both grow silent and our panting breaths fill the air. His hands finally let me go and I push forward away from him a couple of steps. The cool air feels soothing against my heated skin and I feel it brush off any leftover effects from the alcohol. My throat is sore from yelling so much, but adrenaline is still pumping through me and I'm still shaking from being so worked up. I'm angry and I can't stop it. The emotion runs rampant through me and I want to scream. I want to scream until all the damage, drama, and unfairness of my past and present leave me. I hear Dimitri behind me, working to calm himself down and suddenly all my senses are focused on one thing and one thing only. I stand still as I stare ahead of me, but tune in on the man behind me. It may be wrong, but a thrill streaks through me and I feel my anger blending dangerously with desire. I hear his steps behind me.

"I'm sorry Rose. I…I should've waited until I was calm to discuss this with you." He says regretfully, but I can still hear the anger behind the regret.

His hand barely has a chance to land on my shoulder before I'm spinning around. Shoving my hands against his chest I push him roughly back until he hits the truck. His eyes hold dangerous amounts of fire in them, but I pay them no head and yank his head down to meet my lips. His body stiffens against me as I press into him, but there's zero hesitation when his hands tangle in my hair and hold my lips against his. I'm positively vibrating as I battle his tongue and yank open his shirt, buttons hitting the ground around us. Biting down on his bottom lip hard, I hear a rough growling noise sound from his chest and I'm being spun until I'm slammed back against the truck. I barely have time to register it, when his hands leave my hair and I'm being yanked up by my ass. Wrapping my legs around his waist I pull back so I can scratch down his chest sharply.

"FUCK!" He yells as his hips snap forward.

His hardness grinds against my core through my panties, the skirt riding up to my hips, exposing scandalous amounts of skin to his reach. Red trails are left on his chest, even bleeding in some spots. A hand grabs the back of my neck and my head is tilted back, leaving skin exposed to him. He bites and sucks a trail down to my collar bone as he continues to grind against me. The pleasure of it all has me crying out. I feel one of his hands between us and the flimsy lace material covering me is ripped away like it's nothing. Fingers waste no time running through my slit. I yank at his hair aggressively and he pinches my clit in response making me scream in pain and pleasure. Two fingers dive into me, stretching me abruptly. They immediately start a rapid rhythm leaving me panting and moaning. His lips bite at the tops of my breasts and I yank on his hair again, swooping down to draw him into an animalistic kiss. His hand leaves me and I'm so caught up in his kiss I barely hear the clinking of his belt and then the feeling of skin touching skin. Without warning his hand is back and gripping my hip before he slams into me.

The sheer roughness of it is unlike anything we've ever done before and it's exactly what I need. We both cry out when he wastes no time in creating a punishing tempo. His thrusts are bruisingly hard and stretching me further than I thought was capable. I grip his shoulders tightly as he pulls me away from the truck and opens the back door. I grab onto the oh shit bar and use it to hold my weight better as he pins me against the back seat. His hips pump against me even faster and I feel my abdomen clenching as it feels like I'm being thrown up the side of a cliff at full speed. Leaning down, I bite at his earlobe.

"Fuck me like you mean it." I moan.

The words shock me, but I hear Dimitri groan. His hands grip my hips tightly and start pulling me down with considerable strength onto his already punishing thrusts. I feel a scream burst from me as my legs lock around his waist tightly. My orgasm rips through my body so strongly I can't see for a moment. I can hardly breathe as my muscles grip him so tight, his movement within me hurts. He loses himself inside of me with sharp erratic thrusts. His shout fills my hearing as the black spots in my vision start to clear. His body slumps forward against me, pinning me to the side of the seat. His breathing is harsh in my ears and I loosen my grip from around his shoulders. His lips brush against my neck and his hands hold me still as he pulls from my body. Groaning at the pain from the action, I slide down until my feet hit the gravel again. We don't move apart, but we're not looking at each other either.

With the mind numbing climax also came clarity. Now that the haze of anger has faded I'm left feeling absolutely mortified. Mortified about being toted out of a party over Dimitri's shoulder and mortified about practically jumping him. The emotion only grows when I feel something warm sliding down my thighs. The feeling of it pulls me from silence.

"I need a napkin or something." I tell him, feeling my cheeks fill with heat.

"Here." He says, sounding strained.

He strips off his ruined shirt and hands it to me. Moving away from him I watch as he pulls a t-shirt from a gym bag. Wiping myself up, I pull my skirt back into place before I take the hoodie he's offering me. Sliding my arms into it, I waste zero time zipping it over my flimsy attire.

"Rose." He says my name as he looks at the trees behind me. His expression is tight. "I'm so sorry. That shouldn't have happened."

"I started it." I tell him simply.

"I should've ended it." He says firmly.

I don't feel hurt. Instead I stay silent in my agreement. In the moment the sex had been my top priority. A way to end my out of control emotions, and while all consuming and mind blowing in the moment…now I was on the other side. I finally understand what Dimitri meant when he said sex couldn't solve everything. Instead of feeling the giddy high that normally comes after sex, I was feeling lost and like I had committed something wrong. Dimitri's hand touches my lower back and he leads me to the other side of the truck, helping me in before shutting my door.

"Did I hurt you?" He asks after we've been driving for a moment. Looking over I can see the worry written all over his tense body.

"No more than what I wanted." I don't bother lying.

"Rose…" I cut him off.

"I'm sorry. Honestly you didn't do anything I didn't want." I tell him abruptly. I grow quiet before continuing. "You were right though."

"Right about what?" He asks somberly.

"Sex isn't always the answer." I say simply.

The rest of the drive home is in silence. I know Dimitri is lost in his thoughts when he doesn't attempt to hold my hand. As we're pulling up I find Viktoria on the porch waiting for us. The moment I step from the car she starts her ranting.

"It's not Rose's fault. It was my idea to take her to the party." She says as we walk up the pathway. "She's been so locked up I thought it would be a good chance to have some fun."

"We'll talk about this in the morning, Viktoria." Dimiri says, sounding tired, but irritated with his younger sister.

"Why? So you can figure out more ways to go off on us?" She scoffs as we enter the house. "She's not a prisoner Dimika! She deserves to have fun and Mama said it was okay to go. It's not fair that I'm allowed to go and not her."

"Viktoria!" He snaps at her. "Not right now!"

"NO NOW!" She snaps back. "What you did was so uncalled for. We go to school with those people and you embarrassed her. The party was broken up right after. Everyone thinks you're the one that called the cops."

Dimitri starts arguing back in Russian and I lose track of the conversation. Squeezing her hand I lend her a thankful smile but go upstairs and jump in the shower. The water washes over me and I groan when my muscles begin to ache. Between my legs takes me forever to wash due to the tenderness and I flinch when I have to clean there. Dimitri doesn't join me and I'm thankful for the space. My thoughts consume me when I get out and get ready for bed. While the party was an amazing release I haven't had in years, the drinking was bothering me. I'd seen firsthand what drinking could do to someone. My mother had never tried to hide it from me and my entire childhood had suffered for it. It had to have aided in my meltdown on Dimitri and didn't help in keeping my head level with Adrian's revelation. Groaning, I pull back my covers and jump in bed. I can't hear Dimitri or Viktoria arguing anymore and I count it as a blessing. Her protectiveness of me left me smiling, but wracked with guilt at the secret I'm hiding from her. I couldn't imagine her reaction if she found out the reason Dimitri was so protective of me wasn't because of my past. The reason fell solely under the fact that I was in a relationship with him…behind her back.

I hear the shower start and listen as Dimitri uses it. Guilt of a new kind opens up. I acted like a crazy person tonight. While I'm not pleased with the way he pulled me from the party, I can't pretend that I don't know that I scared him. He had reacted like he was possessed and, in my tequila fueled state, I had responded. Something needs to give though. I should be allowed to go out. Being stuck in this house, except for school and work, pushed me to go to a party I would've never had attended normally. Closing my eyes I try to push out my problems, but after a couple of minutes I know it's useless. Pushing aside one problem only opened up space for yet another problem to fill my mind. Had tonight pushed him too far? Would our badly timed sex cause yet another rift to open between us? Rolling onto my back I stare at the ceiling.

"Is that what you're so afraid of? That we'll stop loving you?"

His words from a few days ago tumble through my mind and I look at the door of my closet. I am afraid they'll stop loving me. Olena and the family had taken me into their home. Pushing aside my mother's psycho ex boyfriend, I doubt they'd take well to the fact that I was sleeping with Dimitri. One, he's an adult and I'm still a month away from 18. Two, I'm risking his career. Three, I'm risking putting him in jail. All of these things and a bunch more are all reasons they could grow to hate me. Would he grow to regret it? After tonight he had been so withdrawn I can't help but question if he's still sure about continuing our relationship. Sitting up I rub at my neck. Staring at the closet door, I can't hold back any longer.

My feet are silent as I move through to his room. His door is open and I stand in it for a moment. His lights are off, but the street light is shining in and I find him lying in bed. His hands are folded behind his head and he's staring up at the ceiling fan. Clearing my throat, I catch his attention. His eyes drink me in and I do the same to him.

"Are we good?" I ask softly.

He doesn't say anything, but one of his hands reaches out for me. It's the only invitation I need. His body is warm as I crawl into bed and cuddle up against him. His lips brush over my forehead and I let my eyes close at the feeling. His heart beats under my ear and I listen to the thumping with content. I know that everything from tonight isn't over. I'm sure Viktoria and I are in for one massive ass tearing, but at this moment all that matters to me is that I'm still wanted. I'm wanted and loved by the family, my friends, and Dimitri. I can feel it radiating into me just from the arm that's wrapped around my waist.

"I love you." He says against the top of my head.

"I love you too." I whisper back.

The sound of the house phone hardly reaches me as sleep takes over me. The ringing echoing through the house like a warning shot. Foreshadowing what was almost here.

So like at the end of every chapter I hope you've enjoyed the latest update. Thank you so much for taking time to read it. Please let me know what you think and don't be afraid to leave a review!