Chpt. 7 CPOV:
"Did you know about all that?" I ask Taylor as we pull out of GEH.
"No sir," his answer is short and clipped, the anger obvious.
I sit back still in shock, awe and absolute disgust after what Ana told us. Shock and disgust because no one should ever go through something like she did; I can't even fathom what type of a sick monster her sister's ex must be to put a hit out on his own child. At the same time I can't help but feel in awe of Ana; of her strength, her courage and determination to overcome her situation and her protect her family at any cost. How she stayed calm and didn't panic is beyond me. How the fuck she knew enough to head in the opposite direction of her sister's apartment and then to remember exactly where she was to not only relay the information to her dad but then show us all exactly where she was held today.
The anger I felt sitting there is like nothing I've ever felt before; I knew Ana had been hurt by this man but to listen to how they kidnapped her and held her in that disgusting warehouse just took it to a completely differently level. I just kept seeing red as she explained more and more about what happened to her. I knew in that moment that I would give whatever resources that Barney and Welch needed to find this fucker and make sure he pays for what he did. Not just Kate's ex but the man who held Ana and hurt her.
And none of my reaction makes any fucking sense. There's stories of women abused by their significant others or even random strangers every day on the news or the internet and I don't react this way. Sure I donate to numerous causes that help these women and their children, but I've never felt the anger hearing their stories as I did with Ana today. It makes no fucking sense! All I know is I will do everything in my power to ensure that those fuckers never come near her again.
When we get back to Escala Taylor heads straight for the apartment, I assume to check on Ana, and for some unknown reason I'm tempted to follow him. I can't imagine how difficult it was to stand there in front of two people she's never met and two others she barely knows and tell all of us what she went through. In the end though, I don't follow Taylor and instead go into my office under the disguise that I'm actually going to get work done when the reality is there's no way I'm going to be able to concentrate on anything tonight. I end up firing off an email to Welch telling him to look into Braxton Senior's finances more and requesting a full report of all his assets. If Daddy's money is what is keeping junior out of trouble, that's an easy fix – I just need to take away Daddy's money. He's not the sole owner of the Braves which gives me options there; I have no desire to be a partial owner of a baseball team especially one on the other side of the country but that doesn't stop me from considering the idea. At least then I could require that both junior and senior are removed from the payroll cutting them both off from the money train. I hold that in option in my back pocket for now though, I need to look at the rest of his portfolio to see if he's bringing in money from any other sources.
Eventually I give up on the notion of getting work done and head to bed. I know it'll only be a couple of hours at most before I'm out here again from a nightmare. I wish like hell it were under different circumstances but I find myself looking forward to sitting with Ana on the balcony in the middle of the night. I only wish that she would open up about what keeps her up at night; I can't help but wonder if it's from nightmares about what the hell she went through, discomfort from her injuries which are slowly beginning to heal or worry about what might happen. I don't know what it's important for me to know why she's not sleeping, it's not I can do anything about it. I've tried to reassure her that she's safe here, but I don't know if she believes that. I'm sure Taylor has reassured her of that too.
I wake up only a couple of hours later just as I knew would happen, following yet another nightmare. The nightmares tend to all be the same; no many how many different types of therapy that I've been dragged through none of have kept the nightmares away. Flynn tells me it's because I have "unresolved issues" from my childhood; what the fuck is left to resolve? My mother was a drug addict whose pimp prostituted her out and pushed drugs on her so she would perform better for him. He fed her the drugs that ultimately killed her and then I was saved by Grace. I don't know what Flynn expects me to resolve; the past is the past. It's not as if anything can be done about it now.
I toss on a clean shirt, splash water on my face and make my way out to the bar in the dining room where I pour the usual drinks for myself and Ana. Until this week I never noticed that my nightmares occur around the same time every night, but for the most part they do and Ana's must as well because she's always out here when I come out of my room.
Except tonight.
For the first time, the balcony doors are closed and the alarm is still activated on the doors. I glance around the great room as if by some random chance she would be in there instead of on the balcony even though I don't think she would be. Of course the couches are empty as I expected them to be. Instead I turn off the alarm and take my usual seat on the balcony not knowing if I somehow missed Ana tonight or if by chance she managed to stay asleep all night. As much as I want to see her, I'm hoping the reason she's not here is the latter. I'm halfway through my drink when Ana literally runs out onto the balcony, tossing the baby monitor onto the seat she usually sits in and grabs the railing tightly. She's panting as if she just ran a marathon and I can see her body shaking from here.
"Ana?" I call her name softly but she doesn't answer, she doesn't even acknowledge that she heard me. I try again as I slowly stand up from the chair but still no response.
"Don't!" she jumps when I reach out and touch her hand. She's backed herself into the corner of the balcony, one hand still gripping the railing for dear life. Her eyes are pinched closed and her face is paler than I've ever seen it, which unfortunately makes the still healing bruises look even worse than they already do.
"Ana, it's Christian," I step closer to her, but this time don't make any move to touch her. "You're safe; the people who hurt you aren't here and they can't get to you."
"Oh God!" she gasps several minutes later when she opens her eyes and sees me. I don't think she's heard anything I've said since she walked out here and now I think she's panicking me because I'm here.
"You're safe," I assure her.
"I thought….I heard them…" she searches behind us I suppose expecting those bastards to be there.
"There's no one else here, just you, me, Teddy and Taylor-"
"Teddy…the monitor!" she says breathlessly.
"It's right on the chair, you…tossed it there when you came out. Come sit down," I gesture towards the lounge chair and fight the urge to just pick her up and carry her over there. Based on how she reacted when I touched her hand I can't imagine what she would do if I did that. She glances over to the chair, confirming that the monitor is there like I said. Her breathing is still heavy and I'm worried that if she doesn't calm down she's going to pass out soon. If my cell phone was out here I would call my mother and ask her what the fuck to do, but of course it's in my bedroom on the nightstand plugged into the charger. I never bring my phone our here; it's one of the few times it's not attached to me.
"Sit down, please," I ask again and offer my hand. She surprises the hell out of me by actually placing her shaking hand in mine. Her skin is cold and clammy, but at the same time her touch warms me which makes no fucking sense. I slowly lead her over to the chair only a couple of feet away and breathe a sigh of relief she when sits on the end of it.
"I know it's not easy, but you need to try to calm down or you're going to pass out," she glares at me as if I just said the stupidest thing ever. I'm assuming she's having a panic attack from her nightmare; I cringe at the thought of her going through this every night. By the time I come out here at night she's not like this at all. She's usually guarded when I first come out, but once she sees that it's me the guard drops. Is this what she experiences before I come out each night? I kneel on the cold, hard floor to the side of her hoping not to scare her by being too close. "Put your head between your knees."
"Wh…what?" she pants.
"You need to get your breathing slowed; you're going to pass out if you don't," I tell her remembering what my mom used to tell me when I was little and would wake up just like Ana is right now. My panic attacks stopped a long time ago, thankfully. Hesitantly Ana lowers her head just as I asked.
"Listen to my breathing and try to match it," I say quietly. "Breathe in…breathe out…breathe in…."
I have no idea how long we sit like that, but eventually her breathing begins to even out. There's still an occasional gasp or hitch, but I'm no longer afraid that she's going to pass out and I'll have to call my mother or worst case if I can't reach her an ambulance which I know is the last thing Ana would want. Eventually I slowly move from the floor to next to Ana on the lounge chair, giving my aching legs some relief. She tenses when I sit down next to her, our legs touching but there's little space on the chair for me to move over. I'm too worried that she still could pass out and fall off the chair and hit her head on the hard ground to sit in the other chair which is several feet away. I'd never forgive myself if something like that happened especially after everything else she's been through. Thankfully Ana doesn't push me away or tell me to move.
"Want to talk about it?" I ask softly.
She shakes her head which doesn't surprise me; if she would ask me to talk about my nightmare right after I had one my reaction would probably be the same.
"How old is Teddy?" I try to distract her hoping that if we talk about something else it will help her forget the nightmare that had her running out here.
"Almost…four months," she whispers so softly I can barely hear her.
"You're doing an amazing job with him," she doesn't respond. "I don't see him very much, but when I do he always seems so content and happy. He wouldn't be like that if you weren't doing such an amazing job with him."
"Kate…Kate was such a natural mom," she says after several minutes of silence. "She read every book, subscribed to every parenting magazine; she was determined to do everything to make up for the lousy fuck that was his father. She knew what every noise he made was for, what every cry meant; she knew everything."
"You'll get there," I assure her.
"I won't; I won't be like her."
"Look at everything you've done Ana," I point out. "You've been on the run for…what two weeks now? That little boy is as content as can be; he's happy. I'm sure in no time you'll know what his noises mean and his cries tell you."
"Tell me…about what GEH does," she surprises me by asking.
"What GEH does?"
"When I was there…earlier, I realized I had no idea what your company did."
"We essentially buy out smaller companies," I explain. "I take companies that are struggling and either make them profitable again with some reorganization or I break them apart and sell different divisions off to other companies. Sometimes they're profitable companies already but they are competition for some of the companies that we hold onto, so I acquire that company to make my company stronger. The acquisitions can be long term, or just short term giving them the resources to get back on their feet."
I don't know how long I talk for, but eventually I feel Ana's head against my shoulder and I realize she's fallen asleep. I wrap an arm around her lower back; she tenses just for a moment but then relaxes against me. We sit like that for some time, until I'm nearly certain that Ana is sleeping soundly. Although I want to carry her back into the apartment and put her back in her own bed, I decide against knowing she would probably wake up if I moved her that much. Instead I reach behind us and take the baby monitor from her chair and place it on the table next to us and gently pick Ana up and lay her back down on lounge chair so she's more comfortable. She barely flinches as I lay her down and I let out the breath I was holding. I quickly grab a throw blanket from the chest and place it over Ana. I sit in the other chair and watch her; seeing her tonight, like that, has me even more determined to shut this fucker's access to money down. No longer questioning the reason, I vow to do whatever needs to be done to ensure that no one hurts Ana like that again.
Eventually I take the baby monitor and head inside; I have no idea what I'll do if Teddy starts making noises, but I do know that Ana needs her sleep. So if it means going into the room when he wakes up and figuring out how the hell to change a diaper, I'll do that so she can sleep. I head into my bedroom and grab the phone and head back into the kitchen. Normally I would go straight into my office and start working, but I want to be close to Ana. If she wakes up suddenly, I don't want her panicking because she can't find the monitor. So I sit at the breakfast bar where I can hear and see her if she wakes up, I set up the monitor in front of me ensuring the volume was up so I could hear Teddy and start responding to the emails that came through overnight. With companies spread across the country and associates in other countries, we're constantly dealing with the issue of time zones.
"Sir?" Taylor walks out of his apartment dressed in his running gear.
"We won't be going out today," I decide and I can see the surprise in his eyes. It's rare for us not to go running when I'm not traveling for business. I could probably count on one hand the number of days I canceled our morning run that wasn't due to the weather, a security threat or an illness.
"Of course sir," he glances at the baby monitor on the counter and then at the open balcony door. "Is she still out there?"
"She's sleeping on the chair," I confirm not surprised that Taylor knew she was out there. I have no doubt that he's aware that we both have been out there each night since Ana moved in. Hell I'd probably fire his ass if he didn't know we were out there; the alarm being turned on and off each night should alert him no matter what the hour.
"She's sleeping?"
"She fell asleep probably an hour or so ago," I confirm.
"Has your scheduled changed for today?" It's Saturday and for once I don't have any obligations so I had planned on working from the apartment today.
"No, I should be here all weekend."
"I'll let Sawyer know that unless he hears from me that he can take the day off, unless you see the need for him to be here today?"
"That's fine."
Taylor heads back into the apartment I assume to call Sawyer; I spend the next hour responding to emails only stopping when I notice a noise coming from the monitor. Before I can get up to check on Teddy, Taylor is on the screen taking him out of the crib. I turn off the monitor, part of me relieved because I have no idea what I would have done if Taylor hadn't gone in there to take care of him. I have absolutely no experience with babies and probably wouldn't have any idea how to make his bottle. Taylor walks out of the apartment a few minutes later carrying Teddy who just as I told Ana earlier looks as content as he always does despite being held by someone he barely knows.
"You shouldn't have let me sleep," Ana walks out into the apartment just as Teddy is finishing the bottle that Taylor made for him. "Is he okay? When did he wake up? I'll just grab him and get him settled-"
"Calm down," Taylor chuckles. "He's fine, he just finished breakfast-"
"You fed him?"
"It's been a few years since my daughter was size, but I still remember how to read the instructions on the formula can," he laughs.
"I'm sorry, didn't mean…" she's flustered and fuck if I don't smile at how cute that is.
"You needed the sleep Ana, it's fine," he says seriously telling us he knows just how little she sleeps at night.
"I'll change him and get dressed-"
"He's all changed, go take care of yourself and we'll be fine," Taylor argues.
"Are you sure? I'll only be a couple of minutes…"
"We're fine."
"I'll get your breakfast as soon as I get changed," she looks at me shyly. "I'm sorry it's late-"
"Ana, Gail doesn't work on the weekends," I remind her. "You don't need to cook for me; Gail has enough meals prepared for me that I don't starve on the weekends."
"I…I'll be right back and I'll get breakfast ready," she darts to the apartment but not before checking one last time on Teddy.
Despite me telling her she doesn't need to, Ana makes both Taylor and I breakfast before I start my day catching up on work. I hear her bustling around the apartment here and there but for the most part she seems to stay in the smaller apartment with Teddy. Taylor spends the day in his office, but not before he stops in to let me know that he's working with Barney and Welch on a few possible leads. I make a note to send everyone involved in this mess a bonus once we end the nightmare once and for all for Ana.
"Christian!" Ana's panicked voice has me up from my chair before she even reaches my door.
"What's wrong?" her face is as pale as it was last night on the balcony and she's clutching Teddy to her chest.
"I need to call your mom…I think Teddy's sick!"
"Hold on," I grab my phone and call my mom's cell phone number praying she picks up.
"Christian, is everything okay?" thankfully she answers on the second ring.
"Ana says Teddy is sick, can you talk to her?" I hand Ana the phone before she responds already knowing what her answer will be.
"What's going on?" Taylor asks seconds later.
"Ana says Teddy is sick," I answer without taking my eyes off of Ana who is pacing up and down the hallway. "She's talking to my mother; I'm not sure what's wrong."
"Fuck…"
"I have that…I did….just over one hundred…Pedialyte? No…I don't think I have that," I can hear Ana's side of the conversation when she comes closer.
"Ana…does he need pedialyte?" Taylor asks.
"Yeah…Dr. Grey says I should give him that," she answers.
"If you don't mind sir, I'd like to run to the store-"
"Go," I nod towards the elevator.
"Just don't…don't let her leave the apartment sir."
"She's won't."
"Call me if she needs anything else; I'll be back as soon as I can."
"I can do that…right…every four hours…right a little bit each hour," she repeats. "Can you? I just want to make sure I get the dosage right…I've never given it to him before. Okay…let me put him down-"
"I've got him," I have no idea what she needs to do but I step forward and put my hands out to take Teddy from her.
Her eyes go wide in shock and she just stares at me; fuck I hope she's not thinking that I'm going to do something to Teddy. She has to know that I would never let someone hurt him; that he would be safe with me.
"Can you hold on for a minute?" she says into the phone before putting it on the counter next to her. "Are you sure? He's really fussy-"
"I can hold him while you go take care of whatever my mom is telling you to do," I interrupt and take another step closer.
Fuck, I hate the hesitancy I see in her in her eyes; I hate that she second guesses everyone around her but given what she's gone through I can't say I blame her. She surprises me though, she takes a deep breath before placing Teddy in my arms. I can feel the heat coming from him the moment my arms wrap around him; he definitely has a fever which worries me. I know nothing about kids, but I know that if he needed to go into a hospital that it would complicate things for Ana.
"Thank you, I just need to go grab medicine. Your mom is going to walk me through the dose-"
"Go, we're fine," I assure her.
She picks up the phone and rushes into the apartment, leaving the door open I assume so she can hear Teddy. I'm left holding Teddy, who is crying in my arms obviously not feeling well. I have no idea what to do, but I start walking around the kitchen slowly. When that doesn't seem to do anything, I switch him from lying in my arms to more upright, the way I've seen Ana wear him in the carrier which he seems to enjoy. As soon as he's upright his crying lessens and he seems to look around the room as if taking it in or maybe looking for Ana…fuck if I know what he's doing. With one arm under his padded butt, I hold him against me with my other hand and slowly sway back and forth.
"Yeah, I'm here," I hear Ana say softly and I turn to find her standing in the doorway watching us. I shrug at her unasked question; I have no idea why he calmed down but for whatever reason he's no longer crying and is just simply looking around. "I will…thank you so much Grace. Yes…of course…I appreciate it. You too."
"Everything okay?" I whisper hoping not to startle Teddy.
"Your mom is going to stop by when she gets off of work, but she doesn't think it's anything to be concerned about because his fever isn't high," she explains. "I need to give him medicine and if that doesn't bring it down she said to call her back."
"She doesn't think he needs to go to the hospital?"
"No, she says it could just be ear infection, or a simple cold or he might be teething early. She said as long as he is taking in fluids and the fever doesn't spike really high that he'll be fine. That's why she suggested the pediatlyte; she said it'll help him stay hydrated because he's not taking as much formula right now."
"If something changes, tell me," I say firmly. "We'll figure out something to get him to a hospital if that's what he needs."
"I will."