Chpt. 17 CPOV:
"They can come if you want," I remind Ana when she glances back at the closed apartment door yet again.
"No, it's fine," she sighs.
Despite her words, she looks back through the apartment as if she can see through the walls as we wait for the elevator to arrive. She jumps when the elevator dings announcing it's arrival; gone is the calm Ana, replaced with the guarded Ana that usually only appears in the middle of the night. Sawyer holds the elevator door open but Ana doesn't take a step forward. I reach out and take her hand in mine, squeezing it gently. That seems to help; she glances up at me giving me a smile that appears to be a cross between embarrassment and appreciation. She let's go of my hand so I can use the crutches again, and I'm surprised that I have to force myself not to take her hand back in mine. We both enter the elevator at the same time, neither one of us saying a word. Although the tension is still there, she seems slightly more at ease then she did when the elevator first arrived. Sawyer hits the button for the floor we need just before the elevator doors close. The entire ride down is silent but the tension is thick; it kills me that Ana has to worry so much about simply leaving the apartment. We're not even going outside for Christ sakes.
"We're going to a gym?" Ana asks as we exit the elevator.
"Not quite," I lead her past the entrance to the door and down a small hallway before stopping at a locked door. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to, but I thought this might…help."
She looks at me with a puzzled look on her face as Sawyer swipes the card that grants us access to the private room. I simply nod and gesture for her to walk into the room; she stops dead in her tracks the moment she realizes the room isn't empty.
"It's okay," I whisper urging her to move forward so I can enter the room fully.
"I'll be outside," Sawyer says before closing the door behind us. The tension that had slightly dissipated from Ana on the short elevator ride down here has returned, if possible this time even stronger than it was when we left the apartment.
"Grey, man what the hell did you do?" the large, extremely fit man asks approaching us. "I thought you were just pulling my leg wanting to get out of sessions."
"Funny," I groan. "I told you I twisted my ankle jogging."
"So I see," he chuckles before turning to Ana.
"Claude, I'd like you to meet Rose," Ana's eyes dart up in surprise. "Rose, this is my personal trainer Claude, who may or may not be a royal pain in my ass."
"It's nice to meet you Rose," Claude extends his hand to Ana but quickly lowers it when Ana takes a step back at his quick approach.
"Claude is a retired MMA fighter who now is a personal trainer who enjoys torturing people like me," I try to lighten the obvious tension in the room. "But when he isn't training, he provides self-defense classes at several local community centers in Seattle as well as volunteers his time with victim awareness groups."
"Christian told me about your mugging, I'm sorry to hear that you had to go through something like that," Claude says. "Christian thought maybe I could help you."
"Help me?" Ana asks.
"He thought it might help if you learned a few self-defense moves," Claude explains. "Self-defense may or may not help in all situations, but in most situations the moves I could show you could help you get away or buy yourself some time until help could arrive."
"You could teach me…how to get away from someone…even if they had a gun?"
"There are no guarantees," Claude answers honestly. "BUT, I could teach you maneuvers to help you try to knock the gun from his hand, to get out of a choke hold and even show you how to flip someone head over feet when they weight twice as much as you do."
"Really?" Ana's interest is obviously peeked.
"Yes, with the right technique height and weight isn't an issue. Well, I suppose if they were say 600 pounds that might be an issue for anyone," Claude chuckles and I don't miss the small smile that starts to form on Ana's lips.
"I…I think I'd like to learn that."
"You don't need to tell me what happened to you, but tell me what you would like to get out of our sessions together-"
"Sessions?" she looks at me.
"Seeing that I can't go back to my regular sessions with Claude for at least a few more weeks, I thought you could use the time to work on techniques with Claude. By the time my mother finally gives me the all clear to resume sessions, Claude is hoping to have another opening in his training schedule to add you into the rotation."
"Really?"
"Most of my self-defense classes take place over several weeks, but with more time I can obviously teach more. It all depends on what you need and what you'd like to get out of our sessions together."
"I…I want to be able to get away from someone if I can't reach my gun or knife."
"You know how to shoot?"
"Yes," the confidence is slowly returning to Ana's voice. "I can shoot fairly comfortably with three different style guns but I've practiced with over half a dozen ones. I'm better with smaller guns and I have a permit to carry."
"I'm impressed."
"Don't be," she whispers. "It didn't do me any good."
"You couldn't reach the gun," he realizes.
"Or the knife," Claude's eyes rise in surprise likely wondering why a girl would be carrying a knife and a gun but he doesn't say anything. The signed NDA and hefty payment I send him on a regular basis as well as the donations I make to the after school programs he volunteers at ensures that he won't say anything beyond this room either. "I want to learn what I could have done differently…"
"You may not have been able to do anything differently, sometimes there is nothing you can do," WHAT THE FUCK?! "But sometimes, the techniques I'm going to show you can save your life. My hope is you never have to use them, but in the event you do I want you to be prepared. What do you say we get started on some basics?"
"I'd like that."
"I'm going to go sit down," I gesture to the chair sitting next to the door that I arranged to be brought in. "As much as I would like to participate, I can't."
"We'll be fine," Claude nods and walks over to the opposite wall where he has a binder on the floor.
"You okay?" I whisper to Ana. "If you don't want to-"
"Are you kidding? I definitely want to!"
With that Ana smiles and walks over to Claude as I head over to the chair. I lean the crutches against the wall before sitting down in the chair. I watch Ana and Claude; she's listening intently to his every word as he explains some different moves. I've never seen this side of Claude; usually I get the bad ass trainer who pushes, pushes and pushes some more. I have no intention of fighting like he used to, but I sparing with him and working out often helps relieve the stress of running GEH. With Ana though Claude is different; he is cautious with his approach and seems to understand that she doesn't want him to get close to her. He keeps more than enough space between them as he demonstrates different techniques.
The longer I watch Ana the more relieved I am; I was nervous about how she would react to me doing this. After hearing her talk about wishing she could have done something…that day, I knew I had to do something. I had no idea what the fuck I was going to do until Claude called me this morning to see if I still wanted to cancel my session today. I nearly said yes when I realized that I could do something; so I told him about a friend of mine who was recently mugged and wanted to learn some self-defense moves. As the minutes pass I literally watch Ana go from tense and scared, to cautiously relaxed to excited. I watch as she smiles when she accomplishes the move that Claude was demonstrating and then laugh at herself when she fails to execute a more complicated one. The buzz the phone in my pocket is the only thing that pulls my attention away from Ana.
Are we still meeting tonight? – L.
I roll my eyes before I even realize my own reaction to the text. This same text has come through on our regularly scheduled nights for the last several weeks. But since Ana boarded the plane in Indiana that day, my response has always been the same. Not tonight. Before that day if I wasn't out of town on business or tied up in a meeting, my answer was typically yes, in fact it was rare for me to cancel if it wasn't related to my family or business. But since that day…I pause for a moment and let the reality of that thought hit. Since I met Ana I've said no to each one of the texts, even before Ana and I started…getting closer.
You no longer need to keep these nights open – C
I hit send without a second thought; if it wasn't for her texting me on these nights I would have entirely forgotten that these nights held any significance before. The more time I spend with Ana, and with Teddy, the more I realize I don't want anyone else. I've never felt this way about anyone before; I've never wanted someone like this before. I have no idea what that means or what I'm going to do about it though. With everything Ana is dealing with right now I can't imagine she thinks of me as anything more than someone she can talk with in the middle of the night. Instead of focusing on that, I send a quick text to Taylor knowing that the moment Ana finishes here she's going to ask about Teddy.
How is Teddy? – C
Gail just finished feeding him and he's playing on the floor with his toys right now. How's Ana? –T
She seems to be enjoying the lesson. It took her a little while, but I think she's becoming more comfortable with Claude – C
I know I said it before sir, but thank you for this –T
I slip the phone back into my pocket without responding and continue to watch Ana train with Claude. Even though I should be checking and responding to the many emails I know I'm getting right now, I can't take my eyes off of Ana. She's wearing tight legging pants like she wears to bed at night and fuck if they don't hug every one of her curves. Then there's her top…the slight v neck gives the smallest hint at what curves she has there. Fuck, now all I can think about is what she's hiding with these clothes.
"Next week Grey?" Claude's booming voice pulls me from my thoughts just in time because if I focused too much longer on what Ana was wearing she would know exactly what I was thinking about when I stood up.
"If…Rose would like to," I force myself not to say Ana's name.
"Yes!" Ana exclaims with a smile. "If that works for everyone else, I mean."
"Next week Claude," I confirm.
"Have you spoken to Taylor?" Ana whispers when Claude starts to walk away.
"He's fine, playing on the floor with toys as of a few minutes ago."
"Thank you," Ana sighs.
I knock on the door before unlocking it; Sawyer is standing right in front of the door like I knew he would be. He holds the door open for Ana and I to walk out; Claude stays behind preparing for his next client. Ana is practically bouncing with excitement and energy; something I haven't seen in Ana before. She's nearly as happy as she was yesterday when she worked on the market project. There are a couple people entering the gym as we walk past the door, and I'm pleased to see that Ana doesn't immediately tense at the site of them. She watches them as we walk past, but she's not as guarded as she was when we first came down here.
"Sir?" Sawyer asks when the elevator arrives.
"You can go home Sawyer," I instruct knowing that he'll wait for the alarm to connected to the app on his phone to alert him that we've arrived at the penthouse. The code to the penthouse prevents the elevator from stopping at any other floors to pick up other residents of the building. One of the many security features I like about this building. Ana and I enter the elevator and Sawyer punches in the penthouse code before exiting the elevator. He watches as the doors closed, ensuring that someone doesn't try to sneak in at the last moment.
"Did you enjoy the lesson? I wasn't sure-"
"I can't….thank you Christian!" with a couple of quick steps she closes the distance between us and puts her arms around my neck. I lean back against the wall of the elevator in shock, Ana's reaction definitely not what I expected. "That was…I barely learned anything but I already feel so different. Did you know that Claude is going to teach me to flip him over? That he's going to show me how to flip him over me if he's standing behind me? I can't imagine how that's possible, but he says I'll be able to do it!"
"I'm glad you enjoyed the lesson Ana," I chuckle at her obvious excitement.
"Thank you Christian, just thank you," before I can respond her lips are on mine. It takes me a second longer than it probably should, but I let the crutches fall to the wall of the elevator and cautiously wrap my arm around her waist. She pauses for a moment, but then relaxes against me; her fingers toy with the hair at the back of my neck. She shocks the hell out of me for a second time in a matter of minutes when I feel her tongue tease my lips; I immediately open to her letting her take full control of the kiss. I want so badly to turn her around, to push her against the elevator wall and kiss her senseless. I want to feel her legs wrapped around my waist as I grind my hardening dick against the soft fabric of her pants. I want to feel her move against me, even as I hold her hips against the wall. I want to slide my hands under the t shirt she is wearing, pulling down the cups of her bra until I find her hardened nipples.
I'm about to slide my hand up her back, to tug her closer to me, when the elevator dings indicating our arrival at the penthouse. Ana's eyes open in obvious surprise; rather than saying anything I place a small kiss on her lips one last time before letting my arm fall from her waist. The look in Ana's eyes change just before she pulls back; I can't tell if it's embarrassment, regret or something else, but it's gone when she looks up at me again handing me the crutches. We walk into the foyer of the penthouse just as Gail and Taylor round the corner from the kitchen.
"Teddy!" Ana rushes towards Gail; Teddy's arms immediately reach out to her obviously happy to see Ana. "How was he? Did he give you any problems? Was he crabby at all? Did he-"
"He was an absolute angel Ana," Gail assures her.
"You're sure?" Ana asks.
"Positive," Taylor adds. "He laughed and talked to his toys; he didn't cry once."
"Thank you again for watching him; I really appreciate it."
"Anytime Ana, it was our pleasure."
"I'm going to go change…thank you again Christian," she glances back at me before heading towards the apartment.
"Any issues Taylor?" I ask as I hobble to my office.
"None sir."
"We still have eyes on Junior?"
"Yes sir. He's been at his residence all day; a few calls, emails and such but nothing that raises any red flags yet."
"We need something Taylor; there has to be a way to tie that bastard to all of this. He can't be that good."
"I couldn't agree more sir."
I nod, dismissing Taylor as I start up my computer and begin going through the emails that came in while Ana and I were with Claude. No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to stop thinking about Ana; the way her body felt against mine, the way her soft lips pressed against mine, the way she tasted and most of all what it would be like to have her beneath me. By the end of the night I've had a raging hard on for hours but even the discomfort from that doesn't stop my thoughts from going back to the in the elevator.
I head to bed without seeing Ana again; I find myself looking around the apartment for her hoping to see her even though Gail said she's in the other apartment. I'm acting like a fucking love sick puppy dog which is fucking ridiculous because I've never once acted like this before over a woman. But I've never had a women get so under my skin the way Ana has. Yet I find myself looking forward to seeing her in a couple of hours when we will no doubt meet up as usual after the nightmares both ruin our sleep for the night. For the first time I find myself waiting for the nightmares to begin…
I wake up hours later in my dark bedroom; a glance at my clock tells me it's well past the time Ana and I normally end up awake together. It's only then do I realize that my bed isn't empty; I nearly jump when I realize that someone is curled up next to me. Ana must sense that I'm awake because she slowly lifts her head until her beautiful eyes meet mine.
"Hi," she whispers.
"Hi," I reply.
Ana moves as if she's going to leave my bed, but I wrap the arm that is under her head around her back and hold her to me. I've wanted her in my bed for….fuck since the first night I saw her on the balcony; now that she's here I'm not about to let her go. At least not without finding out how she ended up here to begin with because the last thing I remember was falling asleep in my bed…alone. And now, for the first time ever there's a beautiful woman sharing a bed with me.
"What are you doing here Ana?" I ask.
"I'm sorry-," she tries to pull away.
"Don't be," I don't loosen my hold on her. "I've imagined you here thousands of times Ana."
"You have?"
"Fuck Ana…you have no idea," I lean down and gently kiss her lips. "Just trying to figure out how you ended up here without me knowing."
"I…I woke up and you weren't out there yet," she gestures out my closed bedroom door. "I figured you'd be out soon; we seem to meet up at the same time."
"We do."
"I was getting a drink in the kitchen when I heard…."
"Oh," FUCK.
"I knocked, but you didn't respond. The door was unlocked; I only came in to try to wake you up. I thought maybe I'd be able to, before it got bad."
"I didn't hurt you did I?" My eyes dart over her face and her arms, hoping like hell I didn't lash out when she tried to wake me up. I did that once to Taylor and several times to Elliot when we were young.
"No!" she exclaims quickly but I'm not entirely reassured. "Actually it was just the opposite."
"What do you mean?"
"I…I touched your arm to try to wake you up, but instead you seemed to settle down. I sat down next you and waited until you fell back to sleep. When I tried to leave, you…"
"What did I do?" I cringe almost not wanting to hear her answer.
"You reached out for me and said stay," she shrugs. "So I did."
"You stayed."
"I didn't mean to fall asleep," she adds quickly. "I don't usually fall back to sleep after…but I guess I was more tired than I thought."
"You had another nightmare," I realize. I had hoped the session with Claude might ease them for her but of course it can't be as simple as that.
"I did," she smiles surprising me. "But it was different this time."
"How so?"
"This time, I fought back," she says proudly. "Instead of going with them, I fought back. I didn't freeze, and even though I couldn't reach my gun or the knife, I still was able to fight back. I got away Christian! That's never happened in the nightmare before; no matter how many times they've changed I've never once fought back during one of them."
"I'm happy for you Ana," I don't think I've ever felt more accomplished than I do right now. I've closed million dollar deals, but even those didn't come close to how I feel right now. If I can't take away her nightmares, giving her a way to fight back during them is a fucking start. I'll feel better when the bastards are all behind bars and she doesn't need to worry about anyone ever hurting her again, but until then this is a pretty fucking good start.
"Thank you Christian," she puts her hand on my cheek and leans up to kiss me. "I don't know how, but you knew exactly what I needed."
"Ana I didn't-"
"You did," she silences any argument I have left by kissing me.
I roll to my side so we're facing each other and fuck if Ana doesn't tug me close to her. The kiss quickly turns from gentle to one filled with all the pent up passion that has been beneath every kiss that we've ever had. She moans, opening herself to me, letting me taste her but it's not enough. I wrap my arm around her waist and slide her closer to me, until we're pressed up against one another. I nip at her bottom lip gently, before pulling back just enough to check on her. Her lust filled eyes find mine moments later; we're both breathless but neither of us say a word. Out of the corner of my eye I see the soft glow from the video baby monitor that Ana must have put on the other nightstand in my room. The small screen shows Teddy soundly sleeping in his crib.
"Christian," Ana whispers.
"Hmmmm?"
She leans up and kisses me again; this time the kiss doesn't start off gentle instead it goes straight to full of need and desire. Ana surprises me when her hand glides across my hip, holding me against her; I groan against her lips knowing that as close as we are right now I can't hide how much I want her. Her fingers tangle in my hair tugging me closer to her as her tongue darts in and out of my mouth. She tastes fucking amazing and I can't seem to get enough of her. All I want to do is flip her over, tug her pajama pants down and sink into her hard and fast. When Ana wraps her leg around mine I know I need to stop things even though it's the last fucking thing I want to do.
"Ana," I pant and pull back from her.
"Christian…"
"We should stop."
"I don't want you to stop."
"Ana if we don't…" I rock my hips against her leaving her no doubt what she's doing to me.
"Make love to me Christian," she whispers and even though it's dark in here I can see the blush rise to her face.
"Ana…"
FUCK