Life # 184: That time Harry and Tom accidentally ended the British monarchy
London, UK, August 1971
"This can't be happening," Harry groaned, bent over in his chair, head between his knees, on the verge of hyperventilation. "I cannot be the Prince of Wales."
"Sorry to disappoint, darling," Tom said, tone stuck somewhere between clear amusement and abject horror. "But you are currently the heir to the British throne." Tom swallowed audibly. "And I'm the woman you're not allowed to marry."
"Fuck that." Harry whipped his head up, giving Tom his most determined look. "I am marrying you, no matter what anyone says."
"We should plan this carefully." Tom sat down on Harry's knee and frowned in concentration. "Andrew's broken up with me to pursue your sister."
"My brother?"
Tom gave Harry a disbelieving look. "Andrew Parker Bowles. The man Camilla marries in other worlds."
"Don't give me that look," Harry muttered, still barely able to breathe normally. He was suddenly royalty, of the House of Windsor, no less. In just about any world the UK had a monarchy (though there were a handful of worlds where for some reason or another the monarchy had been abolished at some point in the past), but it wasn't always the House of Windsor who ruled. There had been at least five other royal Houses that regularly ended up on the British throne in more than one world. And now Harry was part of the whole circus. "I've never paid that much attention to any of the British monarchies. I thought Parker Bowles was your name."
"No, I'm Camilla Shand currently."
"Well, Camilla Shand," Harry said, now with obvious humour in his voice. "I do plan to marry you no matter what anyone says, but you're right. We really need a plan."
"From what I remember most people thought me unsuitable to be your wife because I'm too common."
"Wait, really?" Harry stared at Tom with wide eyes. "It's the seventies, you'd think people had gotten over those silly notions."
"The Shands are gentry, but not nobility." Tom shrugged and ran a hand through her long, blonde hair. "And I do believe several people already have plans to marry you off to people of their choosing."
"Who?" Harry demanded, feeling his temper rise at the idea of people trying to marry him off behind his own back.
"Lord Mountbatten wants you to marry his granddaughter, and your grandmother, The Queen Mother, wants you to marry one of the Spencer granddaughters, because she's good friends with their grandmother, Lady Fermoy, if I recall correctly," Tom explained while smoothing a hand up and down Harry's arm to calm him down.
"Spencer? Isn't that Diana's maiden name?"
"Yes."
Harry vigorously shook his head. He may not know a great many details about any of the British monarchies they'd encountered but even he knew about Prince Charles and Princess Diana and their wreckage of a relationship. "I'm not marrying her. In every fucking world we've lived in where Charles married Diana it ended in disaster for everyone involved."
"They might not give you a choice," Tom quietly pointed out.
"They can't force me," Harry countered immediately. "The worst they can do is strip away my titles and kick me out of the family. And let's be real. My mother, Queen Elizabeth, lives to be over 100 in just about any world she exists in. By the time I'm up to take over as King I'll be around eighty years old. You expect me to lead a miserable life with an unhappy marriage to someone I don't love they choose for me so I can be King for a few years by the time I should be well and truly retired?"
"When you put it like that," Tom said with a quiet chuckle. "Yes, staying part of the Royal Family doesn't seem worth the cost. Still, they haven't kicked you out just yet. If we play this right we might be able to persuade enough people to allow our marriage and you won't have to turn your back on your family."
Harry stared at Tom with wide eyes. "They are such a dysfunctional family, babe, you have no idea. Besides, my sister would be an amazing Queen. She's down to earth and an enormously hard worker."
"Except Anne won't be Queen in your stead, darling," Tom said, much to Harry's surprise. "As long as there are sons, daughters are passed over for ruling in this country."
"Wait…that means Andrew would be the next Prince of Wales and heir to the throne." Harry's mouth sank open in shock at that thought.
"The rapist, yes," Tom agreed with a wrinkle of her nose in obvious distaste. In just about every world they'd lived in where the Windsors ruled, Prince Andrew had ended up a scoundrel who liked to have sex with underage girls, which amounted to statutory rape at the very least. Harry and Tom had both been raped in more than a few lives and had no sympathy for rapists of any kind.
"Well," Harry said with a deep sigh after he finally managed to close his mouth. "Let's hope the family doesn't kick me out because I'm not sure the monarchy could survive having Andrew as the next in line for the throne."
"We'll see." Tom got up and stretched while she walked around the spare bedroom of their friend, where they were hiding out after they both got their memories back upon meeting and Harry just about fainted from shock. "I suggest we start building wealth of our own now, so we can be sure to have a nicely filled bank account just in case we do need to make it on our own in a few years."
"Yeah." Harry got up as well and rubbed a hand across his face. "If I do have to break with my family I do not want to be dependent on them for anything, especially not money. The last thing I'd want is for them to be able to dangle the Civil List over my head, threatening to take away my income if I don't do as I'm told."
"Right." Tom stopped in front of Harry and smiled up at him. "We'll launch a few products to sell through an investor and then buy stock from companies we know will probably do well in the next few decades."
"Sounds like a plan." Harry thought for a second. "How about in a few years we look up Bill Gates and tell him we'd like to invest in his new computer company?"
Tom laughed outright and then wound her arms around Harry's torso in a firm hug. "We'll be fine."
For the next two years Harry and Tom worked their behinds off to set up their futures in a way that would benefit them both. They did quietly sell a few technological designs through investors, which earned them a pretty penny once sales started. And they both took money from their own bank accounts and bought stock in a variety of businesses they were certain would earn significant profits in the years to come. They'd done that in so many lifetimes already it was routine by then. Everything was done in Tom's name, though, since Harry, as a full-time royal, wasn't allowed to earn an outside income. Tom was, though, and Harry trusted his soulmate completely, so he happily diverted some of his own funds to Tom, so she could invest for them both.
And even more importantly, they started dating officially. Tom never did get back with Andrew Parker Bowles, even if he did ask her to rekindle their relationship after his attempt at wooing Princess Anne fell through.
Whenever Harry wasn't travelling overseas with the Navy, Harry and Tom spent all their free time together and visited many equestrian events as a couple, often while Harry played polo and Tom cheered him on from the audience. They also spent a significant amount of time networking amongst their peers during parties and hunting events, cultivating relationships they might need should Harry be forced to break with his family.
Everyone in their social circle seemed to accept they were a couple and in public they always made sure to behave appropriately so no one could accuse them of causing a scandal or bringing shame to the Royal Family or something silly like that. Whenever the press asked Harry about all the time he spent with Camilla Shand, he smiled and told them they were very dear friends, since he couldn't really go public with their relationship until his family approved it.
And they didn't quite approve of it. They also didn't disapprove of it. Mostly, they seemed to think Harry was just fooling around with this common girl and thus ignored it, firm in their belief one day Harry would realize he needed to marry and would choose a suitable woman of nobility to make the Princess of Wales.
It was decidedly odd to be a celebrity of such renown. Yes, both Harry and Tom had been celebrities before in their own right many times. Sometimes even pretty huge celebrities, known the world over. Tom had been President of the USA one time, and Harry the First Husband, so they knew what it was like to be in the public's eye on a global scale.
But they'd never been people Harry and Tom had known as celebrities in other worlds before. When Tom was the US President, he wasn't JFK or Lincoln or Clinton. He was a man named Fred Tillman, who became the President after serving as the Governor of New York for eight years.
Now, for the first few months after they got their memories back, every time Harry looked in the mirror he came close to hyperventilating. Thankfully it wasn't difficult to act like Charles, because this version of Charles was Harry in essence, even before the return of his memories. Charles liked horses and dogs and playing polo and stalking and hunting. Charles was interested in organic agriculture and gardening. Charles was thinking of starting his own trust to aid in all the charity work he wanted to do after his stint in the military was over. All these were things that were born straight from Harry's own interests.
It was still downright bizarre, though, to have dinner with his parents the first time after Harry got his memories back. These were Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip, holy cow! And now they were also Mother and Father.
Well, in theory they were Harry's Mum and Dad, but in reality his relationship with his parents was rather strained and cold. Prince Philip expected his son to be far less emotional than Harry was, and while Queen Elizabeth made for a hard-working and dedicated sovereign, she'd always been a distant mother, at least to Harry.
All this made it rather easy for Harry to make up his mind, that should his family not accept his choice of future wife, he'd have no qualms breaking with them. Harry was too old to get stuck in an unhappy life for the sake of others' unfair expectations, even if those other people were royalty.
Right before Harry got ready to announce his relationship and planned engagement with Tom in 1973, he was suddenly shipped off with the navy to spend time abroad for six months. Harry could sense Lord Mountbatten's hand in this, and probably his grandmother's, since suddenly back home Tom got pressured into marrying Andrew Parker Bowles, who Tom hadn't been in a relationship with since 1971, and Harry received a letter from Lord Mountbatten suggesting he might want to consider his granddaughter (Harry's cousin!) as a future wife.
Harry politely declined, and so did Tom.
It all came to a head in 1974, when Harry got summoned to Buckingham Palace where he was met with just about his entire immediate family. Queen Elizabeth, Prince Philip, The Queen Mother, Lord Mountbatten, Princess Margaret, and Princess Anne.
"Oh, you're all here?" Harry asked, acting like he didn't have a clue why he was summoned. "Good, that way I can share my happy news with you all at once. I've proposed to Camilla, and she's accepted."
Dead silence greeted his announcement while Harry sank down in a chair, smile firmly on his face while he inwardly rolled his eyes at the absurdity that was his current family.
Finally, Margaret snorted, took a swig of wine and lit another cigarette. It was one of the few things Harry despised about living in the 20th century. Everyone still smoked everywhere. Ever since Harry had been a chain smoker in his second life and died of lung cancer he'd been firmly opposed to tobacco and hated having to put up with cigarette smoke everywhere in that day and age.
"Yes," his mother said, brushing imaginary dirt off her skirt. "It appears you've forgotten you're heir to the throne and choosing a wife is a little more involved than you simply proposing to whomever you wish."
"Oh?" Harry feigned confusion while he stared at his mother with a tilt of his head.
"Come now," Lord Mountbatten grumbled. "Charles, you must be aware Camilla Shand is not a suitable candidate for the future Queen of this great nation."
"I assure you, she is," Harry said in a most agreeable tone. "She's smart, talented, caring and determined. She'll make a fine Queen to the nation one day."
"There are far better candidates out there," his mother insisted.
"Perhaps," Harry replied with a shrug. "But none I want to marry and start a family with. Camilla is the person I'm going to marry, with or without your approval."
"You cannot be serious," his mother asked in obvious shock.
"You are being terribly immature about this," Lord Mountbatten said with a narrow-eyed look of disapproval.
"Is this an attempt at blackmail?" his father asked brusquely.
"Not at all." Harry paused and looked around the room at everyone's shocked faces. "This is merely an announcement. I am going to marry Camilla, that is a certainty. How you react to that is ultimately up to you. I'll accept whatever consequences happen either way."
"Parliament won't accept the Crown Prince marrying a commoner," his grandmother said, while everyone else was still processing Harry's ultimatum.
"I believe they will, as long as the Royal Family supports the union," Harry said, secretly enjoying the whole dramatic show in front of him. He hadn't been lying when he said he was going to marry Tom and accept the consequences, whatever they were. Not being the Crown Prince might even make his life easier. "We live in modern times now. I do believe marrying a common girl will be welcomed by our nation."
The Queen was sitting utterly still, her back rigid. Harry realized she was spitting mad but too well-mannered to show it. "You dare threaten us with your choice of future wife?"
"I never threatened –"
"You said you would accept whatever consequences came your way," his mother talked over him with a flinty glare. "The consequences for the heir to the throne to marry someone without official approval is to give up their right to the throne. You know what this did to this family when it happened to my uncle and my father was unexpectedly made King."
"I am not your uncle," Harry said, suddenly sounding quite frosty as he glared back at his mother. "For one, I am not a Nazi sympathizer, I assure you. And for another, Camilla isn't an American divorcee. She's a fine, well-educated English woman with a good reputation who I've been dating for three years now."
"She's entirely unsuitable," his mother insisted.
"How would you know?" Harry asked in a loud voice, finally losing some of his cool. "You've never even formally met her, even when you knew I was seriously dating her. You've never invited her over for a visit here or at Balmoral to get to know her."
"We don't have to meet someone to know they're too common," his grandmother said with a frankly condescending chuckle.
Harry got up from his chair and glanced around the room. "I've said what I needed to say. The rest is up to you. I'll await your answer patiently."
"Now see here," Lord Mountbatten said, but Harry turned his back to his family and marched out the room. His sister Anne came hurrying after him.
"Charles, wait." Anne gave him a disbelieving look when Harry stopped in the hallway to talk to her. "Think about what you're doing. You could lose everything."
"See, that's where you're wrong," Harry said with a smile. "If I don't marry Camilla, I would lose everything. She's the most important thing in my life."
"But your duty…"
"I would happily do my duty to this country, Anne, but I ask for one thing in return." Harry held up a finger while he gave his sister a sad smile. "Just one. That I'm allowed to marry and spend the rest of my life with the woman I love. If they can't even give me that, then I cannot give them my entire life, simple as that."
Anne sighed while she bowed her head. "Camilla has a certain…reputation."
"Please explain."
"She's been with others."
Harry snorted. "You mean, she dated Parker Bowles for a few years before he broke up with her to chase after you, and she's been with me exclusively ever since. That's it."
"Yes, but it still means she has a reputation."
Harry nodded his head knowingly. "Meaning, she's not a young virgin barely out of her teens and therefore not suitable. Well, I happen to disagree, end of story."
Anne looked like she couldn't quite believe what she was hearing. "Would you really give all of this up?"
"For the love of my life? In a heartbeat." Harry made to walk on, but glanced at his sister over his shoulder for a moment more. "Wouldn't you?"
And with that, Harry left Buckingham Palace knowing he'd stated his case and the ball was now in his family's court. He told his driver to head back to Camilla's home in Sussex. It was unofficially their home, since Harry spent all his free time there. Ever since some of their investments started paying off Tom rented a small country house from a great-aunt who no longer used it in her old age. It was slightly outdated but comfortable and private and depending on how their future went Tom and Harry even were considering buying the estate outright since they enjoyed living there.
Over the next year, Harry's family tried to persuade him to give up his plans of marrying Camilla Shand while Harry remained politely determined about his choice of wife. It all came to an end in November of 1975 when Harry received a summons from Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip to meet them at Buckingham palace.
"Charles, this has gone on long enough," his mother said with a frosty look. "Parliament will never accept Camilla Shand as the future Queen of this nation." Elizabeth's expression softened somewhat. "I've asked people I trust, Charles. I've put out some feelers, but all I got in return was a resounding rejection."
Harry nodded while he sat across from his parents in one of the smaller reception rooms. It was just the three of them and somehow this made Harry a bit more emotional than if he'd faced his entire family.
"Be a man," his father said brusquely. "Marry a suitable woman and make Parliament and this country happy and no one will care who you see on the side."
"I would care," Harry said honestly. "I love Camilla far too much to treat her as a side piece, end of story."
Queen Elizabeth slowly closed her eyes and sighed. "Is there no changing your mind on this matter?"
"None," Harry said in a voice full of confidence. Then he added, in a much softer tone, "I truly am sorry, Mother. I wish things were differently."
"So do I," his mother whispered, sounding just a bit broken-hearted. Then she sat up a little and looked like the Queen she was. "I shall petition Parliament in your name and ask for their permission for your marriage to Camilla Shand."
"Thank you, Mother." Harry's smile was utterly sincere, even in the face of Philip's unimpressed look. His father had never understood Harry's more emotional side.
As it turned out, Elizabeth had been right and Harry had been wrong.
Parliament did not give permission for the Prince of Wales to marry Camilla Shand.
"Fuck," Harry said, head in his hands. He and Tom were seated in their living room in their country house in Sussex. "Fucking hell. I'd honestly thought the times were modern enough. It's almost 1976, for fuck's sake."
"People have lobbied against it," Tom pointed out, rubbing her hand across Harry's back in soothing circles. "Perhaps even members of your own family."
Harry nodded. He could very well imagine Lord Mountbatten or even his grandmother, the Queen Mother, whispering in all the right ears that Parliament should reject Harry's choice of wife. Those two seemed awfully determined to see Harry marry someone that met their ridiculous standards instead of the woman he loved.
The conversation Harry had with his parents, his aunt and his sister the following week was one of the most difficult ones he'd had in many previous lifetimes.
"Charles, please," Princess Anne all but begged him. "Don't do this."
His mother showed no emotion whatsoever, her face a blank mask while his father stood in the corner of the room, quietly muttering curse words. His aunt, Princess Margaret was sipping a glass of wine and puffing on a cigarette while she watched the whole thing as though she hadn't been this entertained in a long time.
"Mother," Harry said with a deep sigh. "I abdicate my right to the throne. I relinquish all my titles. I am royalty no longer."
"It shall be done," his mother said, voice giving nothing away but her eyes shimmered suspiciously.
"For what it's worth, I am truly sorry," Harry whispered. And he was. He'd have happily stayed part of the Crown but there was just no way he was giving up Tom, not even for a throne. "I shall require no financial aid from the family at any point in the future. You may remove me from the Civil List."
"What?" Anne asked, eyes wide. "How will you live?"
Harry shrugged and gave his sister an even look. "Camilla has been making some very wise investments. We've got more than enough to live on for many years to come. We'll be fine."
"You're happy to let a woman support you?" Philip all but growled. Immediately all women in the room looked at him with raised eyebrows. Philip looked down, apparently understanding such old-fashioned ideas were no longer welcome in his immediate family.
Harry gave his father a disbelieving look. "As opposed to the tax payers of this country? Yes, I'll gladly let my fiancée make some investments, and soon enough we'll run our businesses together, like the equals that we are."
"You're choosing love," Princess Margaret said while raising her glass of wine at Harry. "Good on you, Charles. I still regret not doing the same." And with that she emptied her glass in one gulp while the Queen studiously avoided her sister's knowing gaze.
The press had a field day with the news once it broke. The Crown Prince who chose a common girl over the throne made headlines for weeks and months all over the world.
Thankfully, Harry and Tom were prepared, at least financially. Even though they hadn't been commanded to do so, it was understood that it would be better if they left the country. They bought a small estate in the Netherlands, which was close to the UK and the kind of no-nonsense country that Harry and Tom liked. They'd lived there before and spoke the language. And from Amsterdam they could fly anywhere in the world to meet with people and grow their business empire.
They invested in more companies that they suspected would do well in the future. They met George Lucas and invested in Industrial Light and Magic. They bought stock in Sony and Disney, and they invested in Apple when it started up. And since they were part-owners of Microsoft, they were pretty much set to become billionaires at some point in their lives.
A year after Harry abdicated his right to the throne, he and Tom got married in a private ceremony on their country estate in the Netherlands. They had over 200 guests, all friends and business associates, and of course Camilla's family. Anne and Margaret were there to represent Harry's family and he was grateful they'd come.
Since his abdication, Harry was named Charles Mountbatten-Windsor, and now Tom chose to use that name as well.
Within the year they were pregnant because Tom wanted babies. "We're filthy rich and we live in a stable, modern country. I want at least three children," Tom all but demanded on their wedding night. Harry happily obliged because he loved having kids with Tom. They spent their honeymoon on the Maldives doing their very best to make their first child.
Their oldest child, a daughter they named Heather, was born in 1978. Within the next five years they had two sons which they named Oliver and Bertie and that's when they decided their family was complete.
Meanwhile, the Crown had taken a bit of a beating ever since Harry abdicated. The public saw how happy Harry was with his new, beautiful family, and how successful he and Tom were in their businesses. And how generous they shared their wealth ever since starting their non-profit organizations that provided financial aid and job opportunities for the poor, and free vaccines and health care for the people in developing nations, among other things.
Not to mention that Harry and Tom authored a book detailing the reasons they chose to leave the Royal Family and how their lives together had grown from a simple infatuation into a strong, loving marriage. It was on the bestseller lists around the world for months and months, and Harry and Tom donated all of the proceedings from that book to charities around the world to help the less fortunate.
The public finally got the idea they'd lost a perfectly fine Crown Prince, especially when Andrew grew up to gain a reputation of a bit of a scoundrel and a philanderer. The Royal Family needed to take action to save their reputation and their future. Harry hoped they would simply change the laws and make Anne next in line for the throne, since she would one day make an amazing queen.
But no, instead the Crown chose to pretty much force the new Prince of Wales to get married.
To Diana Spencer.
"Oh, that poor, poor woman," Tom muttered over breakfast while reading the paper. "She has no idea what she's getting into."
"Things will be different," Harry said while giving Tom a look full of hope he didn't genuinely feel. "She might actually live a long and happy life this time around."
The wedding of Andrew and Diana was easily as popular as the wedding of Charles and Diana had been in previous lives. Perhaps even more popular because Andrew was a far more charismatic figure than Charles had ever been. Andrew and Diana became insanely loved and cherished overnight the world over and pretty much saved the monarchy. For now.
Harry and Tom hardly cared and simply led their own lives. Harry kept in touch with Anne and Margaret, and his mother and father did come to visit them a few times to meet their grandchildren but their relationship with their son and daughter-in-law would never become particularly close or loving.
"I wish I was a princess, like Aunt Anne," Heather said once when she was almost six. "Or a queen, like grandmother."
"No, you don't," Tom said with a chuckle and then gave their daughter an age-appropriate wakeup call about the realities of being royalty. She told their daughter a lovely fairy tale about the Prince who fell in love with a beautiful girl of a common background and then a whole bunch of old men said they couldn't get married. So they had to pretty much flee the country so they could live happily ever after. Heather never wanted to be a princess again after that.
Since they were doing so well financially, Harry and Tom could pretty much afford any hobby they wanted and that became dressage. They both loved riding horses and kept several for that purpose and Tom really got into dressage through a friend of hers. One thing led to another, and Tom bought a perfectly bred dressage horse and started joining competitions, eventually making it as far as European Champion and ranking second in the World Championships. They expanded their stables on their estate and started breeding dressage horses, which took up most of their time.
Both Heather and Bertie took an interest in dressage as well, while Oliver preferred to simply ride for fun while immersing himself in technology and computers as a hobby.
When Prince William and Princess Beatrice were born, the popularity of Andrew and Diana skyrocketed, but Harry and Tom could see, through their constant appearances in the media, that their marriage was cracking at the seams.
"Diana, that poor thing, is losing far too much weight," Tom muttered, staring at several photos in one of the tabloids she liked to pretend she didn't read. "Her eating disorder must be at its peak right now."
"I can only imagine how stressful it must be to be married to Andrew," Harry mumbled in response while he stirred a pot of pasta sauce. "That man probably cheated on her during the honeymoon if he was given the chance."
Within three years Andrew and Diana were unofficially separated, a year after that the separation was made official and another three years down the line they divorced.
And Diana did not keep her mouth shut about why she'd ended their marriage. Basically, Andrew couldn't keep it in his trousers and had far too many shady friends who enjoyed organizing sex parties and Diana was having none of that.
"Good for her," Tom muttered while reading yet another interview in the paper over breakfast. "Tell it how it is, girl."
The popularity of the Royal Family plummeted. Harry and Tom simply sat back and watched the show while they lived happy, comfortable lives in the Netherlands. They had several houses and properties around the world and they loved to travel, but ultimately they had found their home in that small little country that was happy to have them and left them alone for the most part.
In 1997, at the age of 21, their daughter Heather won the dressage European Championship on a horse bred by her parents named Magical Bonfire. Harry and Tom were right there in the arena, naturally, and couldn't have been more proud of their daughter. Their son Bertie, who was a few years younger, was also doing exceptionally well in the Junior dressage competitions. The tabloids in the UK had a field day posting pictures of Harry, Tom and Heather together celebrating their success, side by side of some very unflattering pictures of Andrew drunk at some party or another. They added headlines such as: LIZ, YOU THREW AWAY THE WRONG SON
Tom couldn't stop laughing for hours when she saw the paper that morning. "Those hypocritical cunts," Tom said while cackling madly. "They're conveniently forgetting that it was Parliament, also known as the representatives of the people of Britain, who ultimately axed our marriage. Your mother, however reluctantly, agreed to it by the end."
Harry nodded in agreement. As much as his mother had been a pain in the behind about this whole thing, she had eventually agreed. Though Harry wouldn't put it past her that she only agreed to his face because she was absolutely certain Parliament would put a halt to the wedding anyway. He could very well see the Queen Mother and Lord Mountbatten whispering in his mother's ears that if she played it like that, Harry would eventually concede to their wishes and marry a proper bride of their choosing. If there was one thing Harry had learned about royalty over his many lifetimes it was that most of them were backstabbing bastards who would stop at nothing to get their way.
At the end of August in 1997, Tom made a phone call. "I just made a bomb threat, just so you know," Tom said while pouring them both cups of coffee in their kitchen.
"Excuse me?" Harry said, lowering the paper and giving his wife a wide-eyed look.
"To a certain hotel in Paris," Tom said with a shrug. "Perhaps if Diana doesn't stay there as long, their chauffeur won't be drunk." When Harry looked at her in shock, Tom crossed her arms and added, "that woman deserves better, Harry. You know it."
"I do believe she deserves better," Harry said quickly, holding up a hand. "I'm just astonished you remembered the exact date and location of this whole mess."
"And I'm astonished that you don't," Tom said in a snooty tone.
Diana and Dodi did not die that night, nor any night thereafter for many more years to come. Their relationship didn't last for more than a year and eventually Diana got back together with a doctor she'd been seeing in secret a few years prior. They married in 2000 and as far as anyone knew their marriage was a happy one. Meanwhile the popularity of the Royal Family kept plummeting with each new scandal Andrew was involved in, and there were plenty of those to go around.
In 2006 it all came to an end for the Royal Family. Jeffrey Epstein faced charges and instead of it being buried under the rug, this time everything was yanked out into the open because the British Crown Prince was involved. The merciless tabloids smelled blood and like sharks in the water they circled around the bleeding prey, biting chucks out of it until nothing remained.
More than one girl came forward with stories of how Andrew had fucked them while they were still underage and there was no putting that devil back in its box once it sprung free. No amount of PR could save the Royal Family after that big of a scandal, that their Crown Prince turned out to be a rapist of underage girls. Even if Andrew never got convicted in a court of law (the coward settled with the victims instead), he was quickly convicted by the public and support for the Royal Family was at an all time low.
The opposition in Parliament quickly took advantage of that and demanded a referendum and eventually the British people voted in favour of abolishing the Crown with a majority of 61 percent.
"I never would have guessed this would happen after I gave up the throne," Harry said, sitting on the terrace of their home while they watched a few of their grandchildren play with their two golden retrievers.
"Serves them right," Tom muttered with a vindictive little sneer. "They were an obsolete institution anyway."
"You're just pissed off they took away your chance of ever becoming a real queen," Harry said with a chuckle.
"Pfft." Tom gestured at the lovely scene before them, of dogs and children chasing each other. "Our lives have turned out so much better than they would have if we'd stayed part of your family, dear."
"You'll hear no argument there," Harry agreed with a chuckle. "I do feel bad for my mother. She's dedicated so much of her life to her job."
"And now she can retire, like any other person on this planet does when they're eighty years old." Tom narrowed her eyes at Harry. "And she'll be fine. She's rich as fuck and she owns Balmoral and other estates. It's not as though she'll be living in a cardboard box somewhere."
"Yeah, yeah," Harry said with a sigh. He still felt bad since he knew how much this had to hurt his mother. "I think I'll give her a call anyway."
"You do that." Tom went back to reading her paper while their dogs barked and their grandchildren screeched in joy.
Harry sat back and smiled. Yeah, he did not regret giving up the throne for even one second because the life they'd actually lived this time around had been a great one and it wasn't even over.