This chapter has some dark themes. Remember, this is pure fiction, and not meant to be taken too literally. If you are experiencing signs of a toxic relationship, talk to someone or get help wherever you may find it. Again, this is just fiction.
Chapter 5: Insights and Sacrifices
Kyuubi sat on the bottom of the steps early the next morning. He couldn't sleep throughout the whole, both too much in pain and concerned for his boyfriend to keep his eyes close for more than five minutes at a time. He couldn't stop thinking about the party, so much that he'd lost his appetite for breakfast. The maids were awake going back and forth, attending to their duties. Kyuubi buried his head in his hands. He felt like a prisoner. He felt stuck.
Suddenly, all three maids carefully approached him. They appeared physically nervous. Sakura was the first to speak which surprised both Hinata and Ino.
"Kyuubi, I'd like to apologize for my behavior a few days ago," she said softly. "I should've been more careful of how I spoke to you." She bowed her head. "Please forgive me."
Kyuubi spared her a glance. "Do yourself a favor and walk away."
The maids exchanged looks. Sakura and Ino slightly nudged Hinata forward with their eyes communicating a silent message.
Hinata cleared her throat awkwardly. "Kyuubi, um, we're concerned with what happened at the party," she explained. "And with Itachi not returning home, we just want to know if he's okay."
Kyuubi turned to her with an assuring smile. "He's with his friends. He's in good hands."
Hinata nodded.
The other two maids decided to leave while Hinata stayed behind. She sat beside Kyuubi and placed her hand on his shoulder.
"And what about you? Are you okay, Kyuubi?"
Kyuubi sighed. "Just tired."
Hinata accepted the answer eagerly. "That explains why you've been so quiet this morning."
"Yeah." Kyuubi sat up, wrapping his arms around himself. "Don't let me distract you from your work. Go on, I'm okay."
"Alright, if you say so." Hinata stood up and walked away.
—
An hour went by and Kyuubi remained on the steps. His phone in his hand had rung several times and each time Kyuubi declined his brother's call. He wasn't ready to confront the situation. He didn't want to confront it at all.
Kyuubi eagerly stood up when he heard the front door open. Deidara walked inside with Itachi following behind him and Hidan by his side. Kyuubi walked over to Itachi and swung his arms around him.
"Thank goodness. I was so worried."
"I'm alright," Itachi said in a soft, tired voice.
Kyuubi pulled away. He kissed Itachi's lips and he could see the exhaustion in his face. He stepped back and allowed Itachi to walk past him into the living room.
"How are you doing, Kyuubi?" Deidara asked. It's become a normal habit now to ask that question.
"I'm okay." Kyuubi forced a smile. "Thank you for looking after him."
"He's our friend. We'll always look after him."
"It's nice seeing you again, Kyuubi." Hidan said from the side, that same flirtatious grin on his face.
Kyuubi glanced at him. "You as well."
He had to admit Hidan was charming, in a western movie bad boy kind of way.
"Man, those eyes of yours do something to me."
Kyuubi chuckled. "Don't let Itachi hear you say that."
Hidan's smile widened. "Don't worry, I can handle Itachi."
Kyuubi watched silently as Hidan walked away. He felt the blush warm his face as he smiled.
"Behave!" Deidara called after Hidan.
Hidan turned around and saluted him. "Yes, sir."
Deidara sighed. "Those two. Separated they are a handful. Together, they're a disaster just waiting to happen."
Kyuubi turned to Deidara. "Is Hidan by any chance gay?"
"No," Deidara answered affirmatively. "He has a girlfriend. Isabella."
"Isabella," Kyuubi repeated with interest. "Is she foreign?"
"She's Italian, same as Hidan's father," Deidara explained. "They met during one of his trips oversees. She lives there and occasionally visits Japan to see him. Call it a long distance relationship if you will."
Kyuubi nodded. "Is he this flirtatious with everyone he meets or am I just lucky?"
Deidara sighed. "That's just Hidan. He's like the annoying little brother constantly getting himself and others into trouble."
Kyuubi again nodded, the statement hitting way too close to home. "I can relate to you on that end."
The two stood in silence for a while until Deidara stepped forward. Kyuubi looked up at him curiosity.
"Is there somewhere private we can talk?"
"We can go upstairs."
Kyuubi led Deidara up the steps to Itachi's bedroom. Deidara made himself comfortable on the edge of the bed while Kyuubi decided to stand and lean against the dresser.
"You should know that Itachi told me everything," Deidara said after a long moment of silence.
Kyuubi closed his eyes then exhaled as he opened them and glanced down at his feet. "I wish he hadn't."
"Do you mind if I see the damage?" Deidara asked. "How can I hope to be a good doctor one day if I can't at least do this for a friend?"
Kyuubi was reluctant. "I don't…"
After all, it was embarrassing. He cared deeply about Deidara's opinion of him. This side of his relationship with Itachi was supposed to be stay hidden. He didn't want anyone to know. He didn't want anyone to pity him.
"I'm not here to judge you. I just want to help." Deidara assured him.
Deidara had to force himself to keep his composure when Kyuubi finally lifted up his shirt. The sides of his torso were badly swollen, mixed in with the ugly appearance of black and blue. It was bad, really bad, and he could only imagine how much pain Kyuubi was in.
"You must be in quite a lot of pain."
"It hurts like hell."
"You do a good job of hiding it." Deidera leaned forward and carefully inspected the damage, his fingers gently tracing over the bruises. "How bad is the pain from 1 to 10?"
"About seven when I'm standing up, ten when I'm lying down."
"Didn't get much sleep then?"
"No, not really."
"Are you taking any pain killers?"
"Um, just some over the counter ones Itachi had lying around."
"Okay." Deidara moved back, sitting down again on the edge of the bed. "I'll write you a prescription for something stronger to help you sleep."
Kyuubi pulled his shirt down. "Thanks."
Deidara cleared his throat. He had that serious look on his face, the one only a doctor could really pull off. "Let me ask you a question and give me a sincere answer."
Kyuubi nodded his head.
"How much more of this do you think you can take before you finally decide enough is enough?"
Kyuubi sighed. "You have a boyfriend right, Dei?"
"I do," Deidara replied.
"Do you guys ever fight?"
Deidara chuckled. "Of course."
There was a small hesitation. "Have you ever hit him?"
"Never."
"Has he ever hit you?"
"Never," Deidara replied. He saw the envious look that crossed Kyuubi's face. "But it doesn't do much to compare our relationships. You can't really compare apples and oranges."
Kyuubi looked intently at Deidara. "Can you tell me what happened between Itachi and Sasuke?"
"I'm not sure it's my place."
"You asked me how long I plan on sticking around," Kyuubi said. "I can't answer you until you let me know how far this goes. I need to know what made Itachi this way. Why does he hate his brother so much that just the sight of Sasuke can have that kind of effect on him?"
"Itachi is very territorial," Deidara said. "I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that."
"I don't."
"It started way back from his childhood with his parents. Itachi loved and adored his mother. He could never be from her side for too long before he threw a tantrum. So you can imagine when she got pregnant with Sasuke, he wasn't very thrilled. The attention wouldn't be on him as the youngest anymore."
"Hidan and I have been friends with Itachi since we could crawl. Our parents were good friends in school so we were brought up together. We had many play dates at each other's homes so in a way, we experienced first hand the love Itachi had for his mother and we in time came to share that same love for her. By the ninth month of her pregnancy, she had gotten so big, and each time we saw her she was smiling, excited to meet her baby boy."
Deidara sighed and pausing for a moment leaned forward. "When Mikoto went into labor, there was a lot complications. Hidan and I were with Itachi in the house with his grandparents. Itachi's father, Fugaku, kept Madara updated on what was going on. When Sasuke was finally born, we were all happy even Itachi. For us, it was like we too had just gained a little brother. We didn't know Mikoto had died in the process."
Kyuubi was heartbroken finally knowing the truth but resolved to say nothing and simply listened.
"Itachi was never the same. Neither was his father and some months later, he took his own life. Itachi found his body. He was still young then. His older brother Kagami was away at school at the time. Itachi had witnessed his father's slow descend into darkness all by himself. The alcohol, the depression, and then when he finally couldn't take it anymore, he ended it. Itachi saw it all. In the course of just a few months, he had lost both his parents."
"That's why he hates Sasuke," Kyuubi finally said after a long while. "He blames him for everything."
Deidara nodded. "Itachi has a tendency to put blame where it doesn't belong. Deep down, he blames himself also for his father's death. He's carrying around a lot of pent up anger and sadness. It's dangerous. When he gets angry, all of those emotions come rushing back and he loses control. And when he loses control, he lashes out. He's hurt and so he wants to hurt someone too. It's always been like that since that day. His grandmother tried to get him therapy and for some time, it seemed to work."
"Itachi's grandmother?" Kyuubi interrupted. "He never speaks of her, only his grandfather."
"I can understand why," Deidara said. "I'm not sure if you're aware but there was a scandal. It was outed by the media that Madara was having an affair with his secretary. This was during our time in high school. It was a bad situation. Then it was reported that Itachi's grandmother was filing for divorce. But then, one day, she just disappeared."
Kyuubi raised his brow. "What do you mean she disappeared?"
"Akemi Uchiha was never seen or heard from again. Investigation reported that there had been a large withdrawal of money from one of the family's business accounts. It was concluded that she ran away. Truthfully, the situation was never fully resolved. It's been years and there's been no updates on the case."
Kyuubi sat down beside Deidara on the bed. "I didn't know any of this," he said softly.
"Like you said, he never talks about her."
"Did he stop going to therapy after his grandmother disappeared?"
"Yes," Deidara replied. "The violence got worse after that."
"You think there's a chance he would go back?"
"If you can get him to go I'll be very impressed."
Kyuubi sighed as he looked down at his hands.
"Hey, listen," Deidara said. He waited until Kyuubi looked up at him. "What happened to Itachi is awful. It traumatized him. I've tried to get him into therapy but he always brushed me off. I'm telling you this because I want you to understand this. Itachi is not your problem to fix."
"He's my boyfriend," Kyuubi said softly.
"That doesn't give him leeway to mistreat you or hurt you when he's angry!" Deidara said sharply. "What you did yesterday was stupid and reckless. If he's in a mood, either call me or find some way to get away from him. Kyuubi, I want you to know that there is still time for you to leave."
Deidara gave Kyuubi the serious look only he could muster. "You are not a prisoner. I can help you leave this relationship."
Kyuubi looked down, thought on the offer for a moment. He frowned. "I can't abandon him. Not like everyone else."
"Is that what he told you?"
The door slammed open and Itachi walked inside his bedroom. Deidera stood up while Kyuubi remained seated on the bed. Itachi walked over to his dresser and untied his hair from its ponytail.
"Get out, I want to sleep," he grumbled, staring at Deidara through the mirror.
Deidara shook his head as he turned to Kyuubi. "This one," he said, pointing at Itachi. "Always a breath of fresh air."
Itachi's long hair rained over his shoulders as he began unbuttoning his shirt.
Deidara was one foot out of the door when Hidan abruptly came rushing in, nearly bumping into him.
"Oh, we forgot to tell you," Hidan said, his eyes on Kyuubi. "We gathered your gifts from the party last night. It's downstairs. I left it with the maid with the purple hair."
"Hinata."
"Yeah, her." Hidan affirmed with a nod. "Open my gift first, okay?"
Kyuubi chuckled when the man winked at him. "I will."
"Later, Itachi." Deidara pushed Hidan out of the room, exiting alongside him. "Kyuubi, I'll shoot you a text later."
"Okay."
"Get some rest, Itachi." Hidan called out just as Deidara began to close the door. "Bye, beautiful!"
The door closed and Kyuubi continued to stare at it, lost in thought. A lot was unloaded on him today and he doesn't know how to fully process it all.
"What are you looking at?"
Kyuubi looked up at Itachi. "Nothing."
"What were you two talking about in here?"
"Nothing," Kyuubi answered nervously.
Itachi turned around with a hard glare that has Kyuubi suddenly on edge.
"Is nothing your fucking word of the day?"
Kyuubi was stunned by the sudden attack. "I told you, I didn't know Naruto was involved with him."
"How very convenient for you not to know," Itachi accused him. "After you stole my fucking phone and picked up his call." Itachi roughly threw his shirt at Kyuubi. "If I fucking find out you're doing some shit behind my back, I'll-"
"I haven't done anything!" Kyuubi defended himself.
"Yeah, I bet." Itachi took in a deep breath. "Just sit there and don't fucking get on my nerves."
Kyuubi recalled Deidara's words. When he's in a mood, find some way to get away from him. Easier said than done. When Itachi was hurting, it was like Kyuubi himself was hurting. He hated the atmosphere between them. It was suffocating, overwhelming. Kyuubi stood up and hugged Itachi from behind.
"I want you to stop being angry," he whispered and when the words reached Itachi's ears he felt the man physically grow rigid in his arms.
"Get your hands off me."
Kyuubi unwillingly pulled away. "Tell me how I can help you." He's startled when Itachi swiftly turned around and faced.
Itachi was seething as he glared down at Kyuubi. "I can't even look at you without feeling like I'm fucking going to lose control."
Kyuubi took a step back. "I'll leave." He was terrified. "I can give you space if that's what you want."
"Like it almost comes natural now. Giving yourself to me. Allowing me to use you like some toy. Hurt you. And you just took it, didnt even make a sound. You think that makes me feel better? It doesn't. It makes me feel worse. I hate myself for doing that to you. It makes me feel sick."
Kyuubi took another step back even after Itachi had stopped approaching him. Standing in the middle of the room, Kyuubi watched as Itachi's eyes filled with tears.
"I was so angry and I'm still angry. I promised myself, I promised you that I would never hurt you again." A single tear fell down his face, slow and silent. "I blamed my father for being a coward. He took the easy way out but I'm doing the same thing. I hate him, I hate him so much for leaving the way he did. But in the end, I'm just like him."
"No, don't say that." Kyuubi carefully took a step forward. He grabbed Itachi's hands and looked him in his eyes. "You're much better than that. You're still here, trying to get through the pain. I'm here too, by your side. Always."
Itachi allowed Kyuubi to wipe away his tears. He saw Kyuubi's warm endearing smile, the same beautiful smile he had fallen in love with. He looked into those bright green eyes and felt reassured, felt calm. He leaned down and kissed Kyuubi. He felt Kyuubi kiss him back with equal passion and when he pressed his hand against Kyuubi's torso, he felt Kyuubi pull away.
Kyuubi closed his eyes, wincing in pain. "Ow," he hissed. He let go of Itachi's hand. He began to walk away when his wrist was grabbed and he's pulled back roughly into Itachi's body. He looked up at his boyfriend. "Itachi, not now."
"Yes, now."
"Itachi."
"You want to make me feel better, right?"
"I do."
"Good, then be quiet."
Kyuubi allowed Itachi to lead him to the bed.
"Don't worry, I'll be gentle."
Kyuubi said nothing as Itachi began kissing down his neck, laid him down on the bed. He shut his eyes from the pain. He tried to remember fragments of his talk with Deidara. He gasped in pain when Itachi brushed a bruise. Deidara said it wasn't his job to fix Itachi. But if little things like this would help Itachi to feel loved, he began to wonder if it was worth the pain.
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I'll edit and post next chapter soon. Thanks for reading as always. Leave some reviews and comments!
