Chpt. 31 APOV:
"How is he?" Christian asks quietly when I step out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel.
"I don't know," I admit. "You should have joined us."
"I wasn't sure…I don't know what he needs right now," he runs his hands through his hair and I immediately go to him hating to see the uncertainty in his eyes.
"I don't either," I wrap my arms around his neck and his hands immediately go to my waist tugging me closer to him.
"You're better with this…shit than I am," he buries his face in my neck and holds me tightly.
"I'm not Christian, I have no idea what I'm doing," I admit. "I can't imagine what he's going through and how hard today is going to be for him. I think….he just needs to know that we're there for him."
"I can't wait to get him away from all of this. I hate the idea of getting home so late tonight but I know that he isn't going to want to stay here any longer than he needs to."
"I think that will make the biggest difference, but today's going to be the hardest on him."
I hear the shower turn off and pull Christian's head up from my neck, kissing him gently on the lips. I love how close Christian and Taylor have become but it kills me that Christian thinks he can't comfort Taylor. Christian doesn't give himself enough credit, him just being here helps Taylor.
"Go to him," I gesture towards the bathroom door.
"I don't know what to say," he whispers.
"You don't have to say anything, sometimes words aren't necessary."
His eyes find mine and I see an array of emotions pass through them before he quickly kisses me again. He turns away and walks into the bathroom, softly closing the door behind him. I can't hear what they're saying, just the soft sound of voices but then there's silence. A smile forms on my lips in that silence before I get dressed. Taylor woke up before both of us did this morning; I was sound asleep until I heard the water from the shower turn on. By the time I slipped out of Christian's arms and made my way to the bathroom, Taylor was already standing there just letting the water run over his head. My heart broke for him seeing him like that; I wrapped my arms around his waist and laid my head on his chest. Silently his arms wrapped around me, holding me against him. Christian isn't the only one who doesn't know how to comfort Taylor. We stayed like that until the water started to run cooler, only then separating long enough to wash up. I got out of the shower first, no longer able to handle the colder water and Taylor had promised to follow in another couple of minutes.
Last night, after the wake, we went out for dinner and then came back to the room for a few drinks. I wasn't surprised when we didn't make love, I kind of expected it given how rough this trip would be for Taylor. But I still smiled when he crawled into bed and tugged me closer to him, until he was practically wrapped around me. Christian was on the other side of me, holding me just as close to him as Taylor was.
I have no idea what to expect today; will it be less awkward then yesterday was since there will be more people? Yesterday was….odd. I don't think I've ever been in such a position where so many people displayed such forced politeness. I expected to feel out of place, along with Christian, since neither of knew anyone else there, but it was obvious yesterday that Taylor was also a stranger to these people. Christian had mentioned that he didn't think Taylor spoke with anyone while they were overseas, but I didn't expect it to feel so…cold. I thought by now maybe they could look at him and not think about what had happened to his mother. Of course it was a terrible tragedy that no one would ever forget, but I had hoped that by now they might be able to see Taylor as a person separate from that tragedy. But that was definitely not the case.
No one was rude, but I don't think that any of us felt welcomed there either. Taylor was able to have a few moments with his grandmother, but we didn't stay very long after that. He introduced me and Christian to his aunts, uncles and cousins that were there but then we sat a table by ourselves for a few minutes before Taylor announced that he was ready to go.
I have no idea what to expect today; more of the same as yesterday? Worse because there will be more people? Better because there will be more people so the focus won't be on Taylor? If this is what it's like now that he's an adult, I can't image what it was like for him growing up. Is this how holidays and birthday parties were? I shake my head, willing the tears not to fall that are threatening to do so. Instead I focus on getting dressed and vow that when this is all over that I'll do whatever it takes to ensure that Taylor's never treated like that again. I'm struggling to reach the zipper on the back of the dress just as the bathroom door opens.
"Let me," Taylor immediately comes over to me and sweeps my hair to the side. He gently tugs the zipper up before turning me around. "You look beautiful."
"Absolutely stunning," Christian stands next to Taylor and leans in to kiss me.
"Thank you…I have to admit I'm kind of looking forward to seeing you both in suits," I feel the heat rush to my face with those words. They were hot as hell in their tuxes at Kate's wedding but I didn't get to touch both of them in them. By the time I got to their hotel room that night they had already discarded their jackets and ties.
"Well, I have to admit I'm looking forward to taking this dress off of you later," Christian smirks and lets his hand glide down my side.
"Mmmmm me too," Taylor groans.
"You two need to get dressed or we're never going to leave this room," I tease.
"Fine by me," Taylor quickly says.
Christian's eyes find mine, neither of us quite sure of what to say. If I thought Taylor was just joking, I would know how to respond but part of me knows that he isn't joking. That part of him is really okay with just staying here today and never leaving our bed.
"T, can you call for breakfast while I jump in the shower?" Christian asks which kind of surprises me until I realize that he's doing it to both distract Taylor and to remind him that we really do need to leave.
"Yeah, I'll take care of it," it's almost as if I watch reality set back in.
Christian leans over and softly kisses Taylor before doing the same to me; the shower water turns on only a few moments later. Taylor doesn't move for several more minutes, but eventually he kisses me before heading over to the closet where his suit is. While he gets dressed I focus on my hair and make up, trying to ignore the unease in my stomach thinking about what today will bring for Taylor. Our breakfast arrives just as Christian finishes in the shower and the three of us eat in silence. All too soon we're getting ready to leave the hotel room; Christian and I have watched Taylor practically build walls around him in preparation for what's about to happen. It kills me to see him like this; before we leave the room I stop him by putting my hand on his chest.
"We love you Taylor," I tell him. "Nothing that happens today is going to change that."
"I know," he whispers just as Christian comes up behind him. Christian's arms come around Taylor to my hips; he tugs me closer to Taylor which brings Taylor closer to him.
"Tonight, we're going to be back in our own bed," Christian says. "I got a text from Elliot telling me that he was notified that our new bed was delivered today. He's going to have it set up so it's there when we get home tonight."
"Yeah?" Taylor's eyes light up whether at the idea of being in our new bed or in our new house tonight I'm not sure. The bed wasn't supposed to arrive for a few more days, but I'm not complaining that it arrived when we were gone especially if it gives Taylor something to look forward to.
"The kitchen and bathroom are done so we can move in this week," I point out.
"Let's get through today and go home okay T?" with a hand on Taylor's head, Christian brings his lips to his kissing him deeply just as Taylor's arms tighten around me. I love watching them kiss, it's something I don't think I'll ever get tired of seeing. I love that they've become so close, especially given everything they went through when they served together. But in a way I think it also brings the three of us closer because it's no longer just about the two of them in a relationship with me. Watching them explore things between them has changed our relationship so that we're all in a relationship with each other.
"Let's get this over with," Taylor says.
I kiss him, hoping to show him without words just how much I love him before the three of us walk out of the hotel room together. We're bringing our luggage with us, planning on leaving as soon as the funeral is over so we can head home. We packed a small bag with a change of clothes for each of us so we don't have to ride the entire way home in our dress clothes. Ideally we would stay another night and drive home tomorrow, but I know Taylor just wants to get as far away from California as possible and as soon as possible. So we'll leave tonight although I think we'll end up staying in a hotel somewhere along the way.
"Jason, Ana…Christian so nice to see you again," Taylor's Aunt Nancy greets us when we arrive at the church.
"You too," Taylor says politely.
"Is there anything we can do to help?" I offer; the service doesn't start for another hour but we were asked to arrive early although I'm not sure why.
"Actually Anthony would like to speak with you Jason if you have a few minutes," she requests.
"Of course," if I didn't know Taylor so well I might have missed the brief tension and hesitation in his eyes before he agrees to do so.
"He's right through that door with some of the others," she gestures.
Taylor nods and the three of us head into the room where the wake was yesterday; just like then, the entire room falls into silence when we walk in. I squeeze Taylor's hand tightly and glance back at Christian wishing like hell he was next to me or at least next to Taylor right now. Christian clears his throat which seems to help because Taylor leads us further into the room towards a table where an intimidating looking man is seated with two other men who look only slightly less intimidating and another guy in a suit who looks just as out of place as I feel right now. I try to recall the names of the three men from yesterday, but I end up drawing a blank since we didn't really speak to them beyond introductions.
"Aunt Nancy said you wanted to speak with me?" Taylor says.
"Yes," the one man stands and gestures to the two empty seats at the table. Taylor and I sit down as Christian pulls up a chair from a nearby table; I'm glad that Christian didn't sit at the other table, instead insisting on sitting with us.
"Taylor, this is my mother's attorney Edward Bradford," the man who must be Anthony introduces one of the men sitting at the table.
"Pleased to meet you," he shakes the man's hand. "I'd like you to meet my fiancé Ana and our…friend Christian."
No one else seems to notice Taylor's hesitation at Christian's title, but I know Christian does just as I do. We exchange pleasantries and handshakes before an awkward silence settles over the table.
"Mr. Taylor, before you arrived I was reviewing with your…uncles the agenda for the meeting we have tomorrow to review your grandmother's will," Mr. Bradford says. "When we review the will, it is imperative that everyone who is named in the will be in attendance to hear the reading."
"I'm sorry to interrupt but I'm not seeing what this has to do with me," Taylor speaks up.
"He," Anthony gestures towards Mr. Bradford. "Just informed us that my mother apparently left you something in her will."
The disgust in his voice is clear which doesn't make any sense because it's not as if Taylor had any say in what the will said or what was left to him. If I didn't already hate Taylor's family for how they treated him when he was growing up, I certainly do now.
"I'm not…I wasn't aware she was leaving me anything."
"Neither were we," one of the other men at the table grumbles.
"She did and since you're named in the will, your attendance at tomorrow's meeting is required-"
"I'm sorry, but that's not possible. We have plans to head back to Seattle tonight."
"I understand that this is a surprise and that you already have previous obligations, but unfortunately if all parties are not in attendance for the reading of the will tomorrow we will need to reschedule the meeting and you'll need to make a second trip down here for it."
"This can't be done…I don't know via skype or something?" Taylor asks the frustration evident in his voice.
"No, I'm sorry. The law requires each person to be physically present for the reading of the will. If you would rather reschedule the meeting for another time, I can probably get something on the books for late this week."
"No," Taylor snaps.
"We'll make the necessary arrangements to stay another night," Christian says. "Just give us the details for the meeting tomorrow."
"The address is on my card," Mr. Bradford pushes a business card across the table. "My number is on there if you have any problems finding the building. The meeting is at 11am tomorrow in conference room B. I'm sorry to have disrupted any travel plans you already made."
"It's not a problem," I lie.
"We'll be there," Taylor grumbles.
"I appreciate this, hopefully it won't take more than an hour and then you'll be able to get back to Seattle," Mr. Bradford says. It doesn't go unnoticed that everyone else at the table hasn't said a word since we sat down. It's obvious they're not happy that Taylor's grandmother named him in her will, but what the hell do they expect him to do about that?
"If there's nothing else…."I stand needing to end the awkwardness as quickly as possible.
"No… I'll see you tomorrow," Mr. Bradford replies when no one else says a word.
I take Taylor's hand and gently pull it, urging him to stand. Silently, he does so, wrapping an arm around my waist before leading me out of the room, Christian following behind us. Christian steps in front of us, leading us away from the room and down an empty hallway near the restrooms. I don't understand why we're here until Taylor let's go of my hand; he cups my face with his hands and brings my lips to his. I gasp in surprise, not expecting the intensity in the kiss. His arms tighten around my waist as he backs us up against the wall; I have no idea what to do, so I do the only thing I can think of and kiss him back. We're both breathing heavy, practically panting when he pulls away.
"Thanks man," Taylor nods at Christian though I have no idea how Christian sensed what Taylor needed.
"Better?" Christian asks.
"Not quite," Taylor glances down the hallway before leaning over and quickly kissing Christian. It's nothing compared to the way he just kissed me, but some of the tension in Taylor's eyes is gone when he turns back to me. The sound of footsteps has Taylor stepping back and I quickly dart into the bathroom so it appears as if they're waiting for me since there's no other reason we would be standing around in this hallway. I quickly use the bathroom and wash my hands before returning to Christian and Taylor who are leaning against the wall looking as sexy as ever in their suits.
"Can we just go home now?" I whisper.
"Is everything okay?" Christian immediately worries.
"What's wrong?" Taylor asks.
"Guys," I giggle. "Everything is fine, I was asking to go home because you both look amazing in those suits. You were both leaning against the wall when I came out and…"
"You're killing me baby," Christian groans. "You have no idea how hard it is for me to keep my hands off of you in that dress and now you go and tell me that?"
"We'll leave as soon as it's over, I promise," Taylor chuckles and I smile hearing his mood lighten a little.
"Guests are starting to arrive," a voice says at the end of the hallway and the three of us turn around.
"Matthew?" Taylor asks as we get closer.
"Hi Taylor," the young man beams in front of us.
"Holy….wow you've gotten big," Taylor chuckles.
"Well…that happens over the years," the kid laughs.
"Matthew I'd like you to meet my fiancé Ana and our good friend Christian," Taylor introduces us. "Guys I'd like you to meet my cousin Matthew. He was barely up to my waist the last time I saw him."
We all shake hands and it's clear that this kid is not like his parents, even if it's not clear who his parents are yet. All of Taylor's aunts and uncles have treated us the same way, with the exception of Nancy so I have no doubt that Matthew isn't like his parents. I never thought about the other kids in the houses that Taylor would stay at. They were his cousins but for at least a small time every so often they were raised sort of like siblings. How awkward must it have been knowing your parents weren't happy with Taylor living there, hearing the comments they made to or about Taylor but then getting up the next day and going to school with him?
"Mom sent me to find you," Matthew says. "She said you should head into the service now to make sure you have seats."
"Thank you Matthew," the worry free Taylor that was here for those few minutes is gone and as I watch the walls go back up just as Matthew turns and heads down the hallway.
"It's almost over," I squeeze his hand.
"Save me a seat," Christian heads towards the exit when we reach the entryway. "I'm going to call the hotel and Elliot to make arrangements for tonight and tomorrow."
"Shit, I wasn't thinking-"
"It's fine, I'll take care of it and I'll be back in a few minutes."
"Let's grab a seat," I lead Taylor through the double doors into the main room of the church where we quickly find a pew to sit in. It doesn't go unnoticed that there are several reserved pews near the front that are roped off where Taylor's aunts, uncles and cousins are sitting while we were told to come in so we could find a seat. Whether Taylor notices it or not, I'm not sure; he finds a pew with open seats and I quickly place my purse over a spot for Christian. We maybe pretending that the three of us aren't together but there's no way in hell I'm letting him sit anywhere but with us. Thankfully a few minutes later he joins us giving us a chance to talk before the service begins.
"We have another room at the same hotel for tonight and Elliot had already cleared our schedules for tomorrow assuming we wouldn't want to do much after driving the long distance overnight," he explains.
"Is Elliot mad? This is a lot for him to cover on such short notice?" Taylor asks.
"Nah, besides I told him that he owes us since we covered for him during his honeymoon," Christian jokes.
"I'm sure Elliot understands," I add.
"He does man, it's all good," Christian assures him.
"I can't believe we're stuck here for another day," Taylor grumbles.
"It's better than having to drive back down in a week, right?" I try to look on the bright side.
"I suppose. I just want to get…home."
"Me too," I squeeze his hand tightly.
"I don't want to stay for the get together afterward," Taylor announces.
"Are you sure?" I ask.
"I'm done especially since I have to see everyone tomorrow. I don't feel like being ignored any longer than I already have been."
"We can go back to the hotel afterwards," I suggest.
"We have a couple of hours until check in, but we can probably grab something to eat-"
"And drink," Taylor adds.
"Definitely," Christian agrees.