Chpt. 32 CPOV:
A soft whimper wakes me from a dead sleep; I initially think it's Ana having a nightmare even though, like always, we have a light on in the room for her. I'm surprised to find that it's not Ana whimpering, but instead it seems that it's Taylor. I immediately pull Ana onto my lap, waking her up in the process-
"What?" Ana mumbles as she takes in what's going on.
"I think Taylor's having a nightmare," I say I think because the whimpering isn't typical for him during his nightmares. Usually he's groaning, calling out and thrashing around in bed. But right now he's lying still and just whimpering.
"What should we do?" Ana asks.
I lift her in my arms and bring her out of the bed, but I don't take her to the sitting area because I know she won't want to be that far from Taylor when he finally does wake up. She's standing at the end of the bed close to the wall; Taylor would have to practically climb out of bed to reach her and he's never done that in a nightmare before. I call out his name several times, as does Ana, hoping to wake him up that way but unfortunately he doesn't respond. I fight with myself on whether or not I should leave Ana's side to try to wake up Taylor or if I should stay next to her to protect her just in case he does manage to get out of bed before I get to him.
"Nooooooooo," a sound coming from the bed can only be described as something between a moan and a scream. Immediately I know this isn't his usual nightmare about what happened when we were in that shithole; this is something different. His voice is full of pain and anguish; the fear and anger from his usual nightmare isn't here.
"Christian," she grasps my hand and squeezes it tightly.
"Stay here; no matter what stay here," I take Ana's face in my hands, forcing her to look at me so I know she hears me. "I don't want something… he'll never forgive himself if he does something to you. Stay—
"
"I will, I promise," she kisses me and squeezes my hand again. "Just do something Christian."
I nod and walk over to Taylor's side of the bed, continuing to call his name as I approach him. I take a deep breath, preparing for him to physically lash out and place a hand gently on his shoulder. I call his name again, gently shaking him as I do. His immediately grabs my wrist with his and turns over, his eyes open and searching until they finally land on me.
"You're okay T," I say gently and slowly lower myself to the bed. A quick glance over confirms that Ana is where I left her, thankfully haven't not moved yet. "You're in the hotel with me and Ana; there's no one else here."
"Christian?" he releases my wrist and sighs which Ana takes as a sign and slowly climbs into the bed next to him.
"You okay man?" I ask.
"Yeah… I… expected this to happen," he slides over in the bed, closer to Ana but also giving me more space. I pull the covers back on the bed and lay down next to him.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Ana whispers.
"I haven't… it's been years, probably a decade even, since I've had that nightmare," he mumbles and wraps an arm around Ana's waist bringing her close to him.
These last two days he's been seeking comfort in Ana; hell after leaving the funeral yesterday he didn't even wait until we checked into the hotel. If I could have found somewhere that I would have been sure no one would catch us, I would have pulled over and joined them somehow in the back seat. Instead, I drove around pretending to look for some place to grab dinner and drinks while he took comfort in Ana. Even though I'm glad that he's finding comfort in her, I kind of wish I could provide that for him. I'm not as good with the touchy feely stuff as Ana is, but I want to be able to ease Taylor's discomfort the way Ana can. I never know the right thing to say or do when shit like this comes up, but I know I want to be able to do something to help somehow. Ana always turns to both of us when something comes up and I want Taylor to be able to do the same thing. I just don't know how…
Whether Taylor senses something or not, I don't know but suddenly the arm that was around Ana's waist reaches back and pulls me closer to him. I take his invitation and slide closer to him so that my chest is against his back. My arm rests on his bare leg and his arm goes back around Ana's naked body.
"When I was little the nightmares were every night," he admits quietly. "Over the years they would become less frequent, but they always started back up when I moved to a new house."
"What's the nightmare about?" I ask.
"The day I got off the school bus and…"
"Taylor," Ana gasps putting two and two together to realize that he's talking about the day he found his mother.
"Fuck man," I have no idea what the hell else to say.
"I knew… coming back here could bring them back, but I had hoped that maybe they were gone, that you guys would somehow keep them away."
"If I knew how T," I say.
"I know."
"What can we do?" Ana asks.
"Nothing," he sighs. "I just need to… find a way to forget for awhile. I won't be able to go back to sleep; maybe I should go downstairs or something so you guys can—"
"No," I quickly interrupt.
"You're not going anywhere," Ana confirms.
"But you guys need to get some sleep," he points out. "We have the meeting tomorrow and then we have the long drive home."
"If we're tired, we'll stay another day—" I suggest.
"We can't, we already extended the trip one day for this stupid meeting. We can't ask Elliot to cover another day for us."
"If we need to stay another day, then I'm sure Elliot will help us out," Ana says.
"He will; he told us yesterday that if we needed the week he would arrange things for us."
"I know, I just hate that this… that being here is pulling us away from what matters. Work, our new house…"
"It'll all be there when we get home," Ana reminds him.
"I know."
"What can we do Taylor? How can we help you forget?" Ana asks.
"I don't know…"
Like always, Ana seems to know what one of us needs even if we don't. I watch as she leans up and slowly kisses him, her tongue running slowly across his lips until he groans. His arm tightens around her, pulling her even closer to him just before he surprises me by turning so he's lying on his back. Ana curls up against his side, running her hand over his chest. The moment her mouth leaves his, I take over. Desperate to find a way to provide the same comfort Ana does to him, I kiss him slowly trying to pour everything into the kiss that I can, trying to show him how much he means to us. I want him to know that his past doesn't define him, that it doesn't matter to us. That this right there, in this bed, is the only thing that matters-the three of us. He moans against my lips and I immediately take advantage of it, he opens to me letting me taste him fully.
My hand reaches out, searching for Ana with the intent of bringing her into the kiss, but to my surprise she isn't within reach. I pull back just enough to look for her; I find Ana slowly pulling off Taylor's boxer briefs before taking his now hardening dick in her hand. He groans, his hips arching upward, silently begging her to take him in his mouth. He pulls me down until our lips meet; the kiss picks up just where it left off. Moments later he groans when Ana takes him in her mouth, his hand grips my head tighter holding me close to him as he kisses me. When a hand surprises me by wrapping around my hardening dick I groan, thrusting into it which has Taylor starting to stroke me through my underwear.
I kiss him one last time, nipping at his bottom lip before pulling back further; I slowly move down his body, my intention clear as I kiss my way down his abs and make my way to where Ana is. She takes him in her hand and offers him to me which I immediately take. She teases his balls with her tongue while I slowly take him into my mouth; I can't take him as deep as Ana-
"Fuck guys," he hisses from above us, his hands coming down to rest on our heads as if he needs to touch both of us.
Ana leans in and kisses me, over Taylor's dick just like they did with me the other night when they were both on their knees in front of me. Just remembering how they looked that night, how both of their mouths on me felt, has me getting even harder. Ana's tongue sweeps over both of us just as her hand reaches down to find my rock hard dick. She strokes me while kissing me, making it impossible to concentrate on either her or Taylor entirely.
"You're killing me baby," I mumble against both of them.
"Ana, come here," Taylor groans.
Ana squeezes me tighter and kisses me one last time before she leans up to start moving further up the bed.
"Wait," I stop her. "Can you grab the lube for me?"
She nods and continues kissing her way up Taylor's body; with Ana's focus off of me, I return my attention to Taylor. His hips arch into me the moment he feels my mouth on him just as Ana drops the bottle of that I packed for the trip onto the bed next to me. Looking up, I can't help but watch Taylor and Ana together. I love watching how they are together, but especially right now when Taylor needs to escape everything going on for a little while. I watch as he maneuvers her body so she's now lying on his arm. Moments later she moans and moves so her leg rests on Taylor's, opening herself to him even more. I can tell he's struggling on concentrating on both of us, but it doesn't take long for Ana to take over his movements. She's practically riding his fingers, moaning against his lips. His other hand remains firmly on my head, not pushing me but letting me know exactly where he wants my attention. Without taking my mouth off of him, I open the bottle of lube and spread some on my fingers; I reach between his legs—
"Christian," he hisses when my finger reaches its target.
"Oh GOD!" Ana screams out as the orgasm hits her at the same time as I press in and my finger slips into Taylor. He immediately arches up, thrusting into my mouth as he groans; he gently tugs my head off of him and pulls me up his body. My finger remains in place, slowly moving within him remembering how he said it felt when Ana did it to him the other night. I have to admit that it definitely enhanced everything else that I was feeling when Taylor shocked the shit out of me that night and slid his finger into my ass.
"Fuck man," Taylor pulls me up further until his lips crush against mine. His tongue immediately slides into my mouth.
Ana leans over, joining our kiss allowing her tongue to tangle with ours. I love kissing both of them like this, feeling their lips against mine as we taste each other on the other person's lips.
"Ana," Taylor groans when she suddenly pulls back from our kiss and starts moving back down him.
"Put this under him," I hand Ana a pillow from the bed and a moment later Taylor lifts his hips allowing Ana to slip the pillow under him. He immediately groans when this allows me to slip a second finger easily into him.
"Good?" I double check.
"Fuck," he hisses and looking down I see Ana take him into her mouth. "You're both killing me; I'm so close…"
He slips a hand between us, grasping my throbbing dick and stroking me until we're both breathing heavily. I feel another hand at the waist band of my underwear and moments later Ana has them off and I hear them hit the floor somewhere. Taylor's lips are on mine, kissing me completely as his hips begin to move against both me and Ana. In this moment, I know that without a doubt Ana and I have both helped him find a way to lose himself, even if it's only temporary. I want nothing more than for Taylor to remember this night, to know that he can seek both of us out when he needs something. I want him to be able to turn to me along with Ana and especially if for some reason Ana isn't around at that moment. What if she's working or something? I pull back realizing in that moment what we both need; panting and I lower my head into Taylor's neck, wrapping my head around what I'm imagining. Neither of us have stopped our movements in fact at some point I realize I've started thrusting into Taylor's hand.
"I want…" Fuck I have no idea how to fucking say what I want.
"Hmmmm?" he mummers.
"I want to help you forget," I whisper.
"You are… you both are."
"I want to help more," I scissor my fingers inside of him, stretching him.
"Whatever… you… want… man…" he pants. "Fuck… anything… you want."
I chuckle knowing that between what I'm doing and Ana's doing that he's barely hanging on which is exactly where he probably needs to be tonight. He needs the focus to be so much on him right now that he can't think about anything else, worry about anything else or anyone else. Leaning up I kiss him again, and then slowly work my way down him; when he can no longer reach my dick he moves his hand to my back and then to my shoulders like he still needs to touch me. I watch as Ana continues to slowly tease him; she licks his hard dick up and down before slowly running her tongue over the slit. He groans, arching his hips up but she ignores his obvious hint as to what he wants.
"You're killing me… baby," Taylor groans but allows Ana to continue to tease him.
"Hi," I lean over, kissing her and purposely taking her attention away from Taylor to let him cool down for a few moments. She moans against my lips when my tongue sweeps inside of her; I want to touch her, to play with her, to see if she's as wet as I suspect she is from watching me and Taylor kissing. I can tell she's turned on; her nipples are hard, her cheeks are pink and her eyes are full of need.
"Fuck…" Taylor hisses and I glance over to see him watching us and gripping the sheets tightly.
"I think our girl needs your fingers inside of her again T," I smirk against her lips when I see the surprise in her eyes at my words.
"Yes, fuck… yes," he gently but purposely pulls Ana away from me and up to him.
Within seconds her lips are on his, his hand between her legs and they're both moaning at what he finds. I quickly find the bottle of lube and pour some more on my fingers before slowly pushing them back inside of Taylor. Awkwardly, I then pour some onto my dick before closing it and tossing it to the side but still within reach in case we need more. I take advantage of Taylor's focus being entirely on Ana and switch positions so I'm now sitting between his legs. I gently push his leg to the side, opening him up further to me; I take a deep breath and slowly let it out. This has the potential to change things completely between us, well I suppose more than things have already changed between us. I want more than anything to comfort Taylor the way Ana does; I have no idea if this is how to do that but I can't think of another way. He finds comfort in making love to Ana… hopefully he'll find the same comfort in me… making love to him.
Another deep breath in, this time as I slowly let it out and I pull my fingers from him and move closer to him until I'm kneeling between his thighs him. With my hand on my dick, which is getting even harder at the idea of what's about to happen, I guide myself to his entrance. He groans but otherwise doesn't react until I push in a little further.
"Christian," he gasps both him and Ana turn to look at me.
"Holy shit," Ana whispers.
"You good with this?" I ask Taylor, needing to make sure that he's okay with what's happening.
"Uh… yeah," he sounds a little uncertain but at the same time his eyes don't leave mine.
Ana slides her hand down his chest, lower until she finds his hard dick; he groans the moment she grasps it in her hand. Taylor moves the hand that Ana has been practically riding, causing her to moan in response to whatever he's doing to her now. His other hand reaches down and grasps my wrist tightly but the entire time his eyes are on me. With one hand on my dick and the other on Taylor's hip, I slowly ease into him feeling him stretch around me as I do. He's hissing and groaning, but whether it's in response to what I'm doing or what Ana's doing it's not clear. He's not giving me any indication he wants me stop, so after pausing to allow him to adjust I continue to ease into him further. It takes several more moments but eventually I'm completely inside of him; I lean over him, wrapping my hand around his neck and pull him up to me. My lips crush against his just as his hand wraps around my head keeping me against him. When I feel his tongue at my lips, seeking entry, a sense of relief comes over me in that moment. Relief that he wants this and that I didn't misread what has been happening between us for the last couple of months. Relief that he's giving me this, letting me help him forget this horrible nightmare. And…relief that he's okay with what's happening. I vaguely hear Ana moaning out both of our names as she comes again on Taylor's hand.
Taylor falls back to the pillows, pulling Ana into him for a kiss just as his leg wraps around me pulling me into him. I slowly move against him, letting him get used to the new sensations from what is happening. He surprises me and within a few minutes he starts to move against me, meeting me thrust for thrust. I reach over to Ana and bring her from Taylor and over to me; her lips find mine immediately and she moans against them. Taylor groans, loudly as he watches us; I reach down and take Ana's hand in mine, stopping her from stroking him. There's something more that I want….something that will make this even more…perfect.
"Fuck man, I'm…right…there," the disappointment in his voice is clear.
"I know," I grit out because I'm just as close as he is. "But I thought…maybe you'd want to come inside of our girl instead of in her hand-"
"Yes," he hisses.
"Yesssss," Ana moans in agreement.
"Lay down on your back next to Taylor baby," I request.
Ana immediately complies, her beautiful naked body on full display for us. She parts her legs, inviting us in; Taylor's hand immediately goes to her sex, teasing her as he runs his fingers through her damp folds. I lean over him and we both groan as I slip impossibly deeper into him; he leans up meeting me and I kiss him one last time before sitting back and slowly withdrawing from him.
"Do you want Ana?" I ask knowing his answer already because he always wants her just as much as I always do.
"Fuck yeah," his eyes are full of need when he takes in her naked body.
I guide his leg over my lap and he follows by rolling over and then moving so he's over Ana's body. She immediately wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him down to her wasting no time. I watch as her hand disappears between them and he groans only a moment later; I have no doubt that she's either stroking him with her hand or teasing him by rubbing him against her. They both moan when his hips thrust forward as he slides into her complete.
"Christian," he glances over his shoulder a moment later.
My heart does this weird thing, I don't even know how to describe it, but fuck knowing that he wants me right now…fuck….
"Yeah," there are no other words.
I pour more lube onto my hand and coat my dick with it before moving over to where Taylor and Ana are. He's thrusting in and out of her warm sex, but stops the moment I put my hand on his lower back. When I place my dick against him, he reaches back and grabs my thigh, squeezing me tightly. With one swift move, I'm back inside of Taylor; my hand lowers to Taylor's leg where Ana immediately grabs it. My eyes find hers over Taylor's shoulder, the love I see in her eyes is something I don't think I will ever get used to. For the first time it feels like the three of us are making love to each other. It's not just Taylor and I making love to Ana; no this is something entirely different.
I grip Taylor's hip tightly, desperately trying to hold the orgasm that's been threatening to hit for far too long. I won't come before Ana and Taylor do; this is about Taylor…
"Fuck, I'm so close," Taylor groans.
"With me," Ana begs. "Both of you..."
"Christian?" Taylor looks back our eyes meeting.
"Yeah T," I answer his unasked question.
With the words barely out of my mouth, Taylor starts thrusting in and out of Ana with the little space that is between all of us. I groan and pull back slightly, giving him more room. I watch as he thrusts into her and then pulls back pushing me into him again; the only sounds in the room are that of the three of us chasing our releases. Taylor is squeezing me tighter, giving away just how close he is each time he thrusts into Ana. She squeezes my hand tighter and I watch as her eyes shut tightly; I could spend hours just watching her come. She screams out our names and arches into Taylor, her lips parting slightly as she throws her head back. Taylor's grasps my thigh harder, pulling me into him as he thrusts one last time into Ana. He tightens around me, more so than ever before, and I feel the moment he comes inside of her which pushes me over the edge.
"Fuck…T," I groan finally giving into the need that I've been holding back for what feels like hours.
We stay connected like that for what could have been several minutes or perhaps even longer, I honestly have no fucking idea. Eventually though I realize we need to move; I lean down and kiss Taylor's shoulder, not able to reach any further or to reach Ana. I slowly slide from him and he groans the moment I completely leave his body. I hear him whisper to Ana how much he loves her and she whispers loving words back to him. I head into the bathroom, wash up and then wet a washcloth with warm water.
"I'll go take care of Ana," I say to Taylor as he walks into the bathroom. He surprises me by making the first move; he leans over and kisses me before I walk out of the bathroom. I don't know if he sensed it, but I needed that.
"Thanks," he says.
Walking over to the bed, I find Ana just about sleep looking completely satisfied. I sit next to her, gently urging her to spread her legs for me before slowly cleaning the evidence of both her and Taylor's releases from her. She reaches up and tugs me down to her until our lips meeting. I kiss her slowly, hopefully pouring into the kiss what I can't seem to say in words. I want her to know how much tonight meant to me; that we were both able to comfort Taylor when he needed it. That she helped me find a way to comfort him and I appreciate that.
"I love you so fucking much baby," I tell her.
"I love you too Christian," she whispers.
"Want to take a shower with us?" I offer.
"Nope," she smiles. "I don't think I can move even if I wanted to right now, but you go right ahead. I'll probably be asleep before you even close the bathroom door."
"You sure?"
"Hmm mmmm, my body feels like jello right now," she mumbles her eyes closing. "Just take care of our guy."
"I will," I chuckle.
I toss the washcloth in the corner of the room and head into the bathroom where I hear the shower running. I'm not surprised to find the bathroom door unlocked, but a part of me is still relieved to find it that way. I walk into the steamy bathroom and immediately head towards the shower; Taylor doesn't show any sign of surprise when I step into the large shower stall with him. This shower was the reason I booked this room at this hotel; I looked all a bunch of hotels but this one had pictures of it's suites with what looked like the largest shower stalls. I saw it and immediately pictured the three of us in here together; I booked the room moments later.
"You okay?" I ask when Taylor doesn't say anything.
"I'm good," he turns and his eyes confirm his words.
"I wasn't too rough or….?"
"No," he chuckles. "I might be walking a little funny tomorrow, but you weren't…you were good."
He leans into me, kissing me again and any doubt leaves my mind. We don't say anything else, but that's usually just how things are between us. Something changes, like the first time we kissed or touched each other, we talk about it briefly or not at all and then things are comfortable again between us. We take turns under the shower head washing our hair and bodies before turning off the water and drying off. We both head back into the bedroom with a towel wrapped around our waists. As I expected Ana is fast asleep in our bed, but instead of in the middle of the bed where she normally sleeps she's on my side of bed. Taylor walks over to his side, drops his towel and slides into bed naked just as Ana is. Sensing my uncertainty, Taylor pulls back the covers behind him and gestures to the empty spot where he normally sleeps since he is now in the middle where Ana would typically be. I follow suit, dropping my towel to the floor and sliding into bed next to Taylor.