AN1: Hi Everyone, thank you so very much for the prayers & positive thoughts. You will never know how much we appreciate the concern & care you showed us & Sassy. We are still snowed in. But Sassy is doing amazingly well! It turned out to just be an upset Stomach & NOT a recurrence of Pancreatitis. I'm so very relieved!
AN2: Mary Wallick Abe: I just want you to let know that this website removes email addresses from the reviews. So, assuming that she wants to contact you. Madison can't email you. It's possible she would be able to find you on FB. If you still want to contact Madison. I recommend that you send her a PM. Madison does have a FB Group you could join called Madison's fanfiction, if you want to. I tried to PM you. But the website wouldn't let me for some reason
Chpt. 34 APOV:
With the keys in my hand I'm about to cross the front of the car to get into the driver's seat when Taylor grabs my wrist and pulls me towards him. I giggle as I practically crash into his chest, but his lips on mine quickly end any laughter. His arms are around my waist, holding me against him as his tongue teases my lips. My arms go around his neck, tugging him even closer to me as I open to him forgetting for a few brief moments that we're standing on a busy sidewalk outside of the attorney's office. He pulls back from me, just barely, resting his forehead against mine as we both try to regain control of our breathing. His hands frame my face, his thumb caressing my cheek without saying a word for several long minutes.
"I can't… thank you Ana," he whispers. "No one… what you and Christian did in there…"
"Shhh you don't need to thank me or Christian, though I have no doubt he's giving them another piece of his mind right now."
"You think?"
"I know," I giggle. "Didn't you that look in his eyes? He was out for blood for what they said."
"I did see that..."
"I'm sorry for what they said in there," everything said in there was uncalled for, but calling Taylor a faggot when Christian kissed him was spiteful. "He shouldn't have said that…"
"He shouldn't, but he did," he shrugs his shoulders. "I'm sure the others were thinking it but he's the one who didn't have a filter in that moment. I'm sure as more people learn about our relationship it'll get said more."
"You think so?"
"No different than those girls in the diner that day calling you a slut for being with two guys."
"I guess….I mean, I get that people might not understand what we have but to call any of us names…"
"This may have been the first time, but I'm sure it won't be the last. I could care less what they think of me or of our relationship. I learned a long time ago that they didn't care about me, nothing that happened today changed that."
"I'm sorry Taylor."
"It is what it is. Having you and Christian there with me though…I don't think I could've been in there without you both."
"We wouldn't have let you come by yourself."
"I know," he smiles. "Right now though all I can think about is getting the hell out of California and back to our new house."
"Let's go find that bar and grill Christian mentioned and get something to eat," I suggest.
"Hopefully he won't be much longer," he glances back up at the building behind us. "I probably should have stayed in there."
"He'll be fine," I tug his hand firmly. "Let him do this for you."
Taylor doesn't say anything, but nods and gets into the car. Using the map on my phone I quickly find the bar and grill that Christian must have looked up before the meeting. Even though it's lunch time, the place isn't too busy so Taylor and I are seated fairly quickly. He surprises me by only ordering a beer but I figure the harder stuff will come after he gets some food in his stomach. I feel like we should talk more about what happened in there, about how he felt seeing everyone again, about something…but at the same time I also know that Taylor doesn't like to talk about his past.
"I can't believe she left me all that money," he sits back in his seat.
"She never mentioned the lottery?"
"No, she would always ask if I needed anything but I always let her know that I had everything I needed. When we were in the service, there wasn't anything I really needed. I saved most of my money, only buying stuff when necessary. Christian's family always included me in the care packages that they sent Christian, even though I never asked them for anything. They would send all those things that you miss from home when you're over there. But really, I didn't need a whole lot. The Air Force provided for just about everything. When I got back, we still talked but not as much…I got caught up in getting ECJ off the ground and just didn't have time…"
"I'm sure she understood."
"I should have made the time," he shrugs. "It was just….it felt….it was like a constant reminder. Which is ironic because that's exactly why they kept shipping me off to another home."
"It's not the same thing Taylor, you were a child."
"I loved hearing from her, but at the same time I just wanted to forget that part of my life. I should have made more of an effort; I didn't even know she was sick."
"Taylor."
"That's why I'm surprised that she left me all that money…ME! Why didn't she split the money amongst her kids? Or hell she could have left it all to that place that they said she donated to in my…mom's memory."
"I don't know Taylor, but she wanted you to have it for a reason."
"I just wish I knew what it was….I don't know what to even do with that much money Ana. I can't even wrap my head around how much that really is."
"You don't have to do anything right now," I assure him. "But, maybe talking with a financial advisor would help."
"Yeah…maybe. We did talk with someone when we started setting up ECJ, maybe they could recommend someone."
"I'm sure they could, but right now you don't need to decide anything about the money."
"Yeah…you're right."
Our waitress comes by with our food and for a few minutes we eat in silence; I can tell the wheels in Taylor's head are still spinning over everything that just happened but I have no idea what to say. I can't imagine what he's thinking or feeling right now. Seeing everyone yet again, learning his grandmother left him more money than he knows what to do with and then having his family insult and disrespect him all at once. I didn't have the best relationship with my mother but she was never disrespectful like that, she wasn't that type of person. She may not have been the greatest mother and we didn't see eye to eye most of the time, but I never felt like she hated me.
"I want to pay off the house and finish the remodeling as soon as possible," Taylor suddenly says surprising me.
"Wait… what?"
"With some of the money… I want to pay off the house and finish the remodeling of the extra bedrooms and bathrooms. We don't need to wait until we have the money to do it; we can just hire the crew and get them started on it. Well, you'll probably want to design the rooms first, but we should get a crew working on the basics soon-"
"Taylor, wait," I put my fork and knife down trying to focus on what he's saying. "You don't need to do anything right now with the money."
"I know I don't have to, but this is what I want. I want to pay off the house so we don't need to worry about a mortgage payment every month; I want the bedrooms and bathrooms finished-"
"Taylor, you can't-"
"Don't," it's his turn to interrupt. "Don't tell me I can't pay off the mortgage Ana. You and Christian…you've both done so much for me, more than either of you will ever fucking know. That house…that's our dream house, that's our future. I want that outside kitchen we designed that day at the Grey's, I want the bathroom with the large soaking tub that you want, I want the pool table downstairs that Christian wants-"
"The pool table?"
"He wants a man cave downstairs with a pool table, flat screen TV and a small bar. I want that all Ana-"
"So do I, so does Christian but you don't have to-"
"I don't have to, but I want to. Think about it Ana….to not have to make a mortgage payment every month or to have to save up to start one of the many projects that we want to do to the house."
I can't lie and say what he's suggesting doesn't sound amazing, because the picture he is painting does sound pretty good. To not have to worry about that stuff would be great, but at the same time I'm not sure how I feel about Taylor paying off the mortgage and paying for all the repairs on the house. I remember, all too clearly, the way my mom struggled with money and I vowed a long time ago never to be in that position again. I never want to have to worry about the electricity being turned off because there was no money to pay the bill, or having to wait until the food bank was open to get more food because all the food stamps for the month were already gone and didn't cover nearly what was needed. I always said I would never live like that again; I've been strict with my budget ever since I got my first job out of college. I made sure I always had a decent savings account balance just in case something happened so I wouldn't be put in that position again. And now, without knowing it, Taylor is giving me what I always wanted. But at the same time, it's his money not mine so it feels wrong.
"Stop thinking about it," he takes my hand and I laugh at how well he knows me.
"It just feels like…I mean that's your money-"
"It's our money Ana," he corrects. "We're getting married, we bought a house together, we're a family. The money? It's our money, not mine."
"But-"
"Nope," he chuckles. "Our money Ana, our future, our house…."
"You drive me crazy, you know that?"
"I wasn't expecting to hear you guys laughing at each other when I saw you both again," Christian surprises us by arriving at the table.
"Hi," I stand quickly and kiss him.
"You okay?" he asks leaning down to kiss Taylor.
"I'm good," Taylor answers.
"Did you want something to eat? Or drink?"
"That depends, are we driving home tonight or do we need to get another room somewhere?" Christian asks his eyes darting across the table to Taylor.
"There's no way in hell we're staying here another night," Taylor answers before I can. "We're driving home tonight."
Christian looks at me, questioningly. I know what he's thinking; we both assumed after the meeting that Taylor would want to come to the bar and drink but surprisingly that's not what happened.
"I think we're all ready to go home," I confirm. "But I haven't had anything to drink so if you want something, especially after that meeting, go right ahead. I can drive for the first few hours."
The waitress comes over and Christian orders a sandwich and a beer; Taylor asks for a second beer and I grab another soda.
"Thank you again-"
"No," Christian interrupts Taylor. "You don't need to do that."
"Christian-"
"No, I know I didn't have to but I also know that you wouldn't have sat there and let my family bash me in front of you. I did what you would have done if the tables were reversed."
"Damn right I would have."
"Seriously, you okay? I know that was…"
"I'm good," Taylor sighs. "I know you both expect me to be a mess right now, but nothing in that room surprised me. I knew how they felt about me so it was no surprise that it pissed them off that my grandmother left me the money. Honestly, I just want to put this entire mess behind me; I want to go home and never step foot in California again. I don't know why she left me the money-"
"I might be able to help with that," Christian reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out an envelope and hands it to Taylor.
"What's this?"
"Everyone at the meeting received one, Mr. Bradford said that your grandmother wrote a letter to each of you explaining her decisions. I think she knew that leaving you the money wouldn't go over smoothly."
Taylor stares at the unopened envelope for several minutes; I kiss Christian on the cheek and go the other side of the table. I slide onto the bench seat next to Taylor, placing my hand on his thigh. He doesn't say anything, but leans in and kisses me softly. He opens the envelope and slowly pulls out the hand written letter.
My dearest Jason (I know, I know….Taylor)
I always hated those letters in movies that started with if you're reading this then I've passed on, so I'm not going to start this letter like that. If you have it, then it's obvious why you have it now. God, Jason I wish I could see you right now. I would have loved to see the man that you became. Don't feel guilty, when you said goodbye that day to join the Air Force I knew I wouldn't see you again. You needed to get as far away from what happened as possible; you needed the nightmares to stop once and for all. I know the only way that was going to happen was for you to leave.
I'm sorry I couldn't do more for you; I'm sorry that you were treated like an outcast by your own family. I'm sorry that my own children didn't do more for you. I won't make excuses for any of them, but they were trying to do the best they could. I refused to let you go into foster care, to get lost in that system. I thought having your aunts and uncles raise you would be the better choice. To this day I don't know if that was the right decision.
I wish I could have taken you in after what happened, but I wasn't able to. It wasn't just the stroke that left me impaired, I was a mess after your mother…Like you, I was in therapy for a long time trying to deal with what happened. It took years for me to stop blaming myself. By that time, you were older and even if I could find a way, a retirement community was no place to raise a teenage boy. I had hoped being around your cousins would help with what their parents couldn't give you.
I hope one day you can forgive me for not doing enough, for not being the parent you needed when yours was taken from you. I won't ask you to forgive your aunts and uncles, because even I know that it probably isn't going to happen. Just know that you weren't the only one with nightmares from what happened. Though, again that's no excuse. You were a child and we all should have done more, done better to help you.
By now (see I told you I wasn't going to do that and here I go), you know about the money that I left you. Your aunts and uncles are being taken care of, they aren't going to be homeless or left to want for anything. That doesn't mean they aren't going to be angry that I left you the bulk of the money. I'd like to say that I hope they were respectful to you when they learned of it, but I have a feeling that didn't happen. If I know some of them, they reacted just like their father would have if he were in their shoes. And I'm sorry for that; for as wonderful as a man as your grandfather was he was always the type to act first and think later. Knowing my children as well as I do, especially my sons, I have no doubt they acted without thinking. They're angry with you, when it's really me that they should be angry at. I'm sorry for their reaction. The money I have left is for you; they're taken care of along with my other grandchildren, but the rest is yours.
Why? That's what you're wondering right?
Plain and simple, Jason: I want you to be happy. Don't roll your eyes at that, I know money can't buy happiness and in no way am I suggesting it can. But, money can reduce the stress in your life and can make things a little easier for you. I want you to find the happiness that I wish we could have given you growing up. I want you to find the family that I wish we could have been for you. I want you find that wonderful person who makes you smile every day, the one who makes you want to get out of bed each day. I want you to have what I had with your grandfather. I want you to have what your mother searched for but never found. Take the money, Taylor and let it help you find everything you've ever wanted.
I want you to start that construction company with your friend Christian and his brother. When it comes time for you to leave the Air Force, I want you to be able to walk away knowing you have a future ahead of you. You've served our county, now it's time to focus on you. Take the money and start that construction company; buy whatever you need: equipment, office space, trucks, and all the other things I don't know about that go into starting a construction business. Buy a house, for the three of you to live in with the money. This way your focus can be on the business and not on worrying about paying bills.
Do what makes you happy Jason. Don't go through life alone; God knows you've been alone long enough. Find someone to make you happy; find someone to start a family with. Find everything you deserve in life; don't let your past stop you.
Your mother would be so proud of the man that you became. I don't know that any of us ever told you, but she would have been proud of you. Proud of the way you handled the nightmare that was thrown at you; proud of the way you handled being moved from house to house; proud the honor student you were; proud of the sports star you were; proud of Air Force soldier your became. She wanted you to be happy; that was all she ever wanted.
I want you to be happy Jason, that's all I've ever wanted for you. Don't let what happened stop you from finding that happiness and that family. You deserve that and so much more. I'm sorry we didn't do better by you; I'm sorry we weren't what you needed back then. I'm sorry we failed you.
I love you.
Grammy
A single tear falls from Taylor's eyes as he takes in the letter; placing my hand on his thigh I give it a gentle squeeze, just letting him know I'm here. I blink away the tears in my own eyes as I finish reading the letter and understanding why Taylor's grandmother left him all that money. I wish I could have met her because judging from this letter she sounds like an amazing woman. To have so much compassion and empathy despite everything her daughter and her family went through couldn't have been easy.
Two glasses of amber colored liquid appear on the table in front of us; I look up just in time to see Christian sitting back down in the seat across from us. At some point he must have gotten up and went to the bar to get us a drink. I shake my head and slide one of the glasses towards him. I don't mind driving the entire way home if need be, but I have no doubt that after the meeting Christian needs that drink more than I do. Taylor takes the glass, glancing up and nodding at Christian, before drinking it in one large gulp. Christian does the same before raising his hand to the waitress, requesting another drink.
"You okay?" I whisper.
"I….yeah, I think so," he smiles sadly at me before finishing his second drink. "This just confirms what I said I was going to do with the money."
"What are you going to do with the money?" Christian asks.
"Read this first," he hands Christian the letter before pulling me close to him and kissing me thoroughly. I can taste the whiskey on his lips as he wraps his arm around my back bringing me closer to him until the only thing stopping me from sliding onto his lap is the fact that we're in a very public place.
"Wow," Christian hands Taylor back the letter.
"Before you walked in, Ana was disagreeing with how I said I wanted to spend some of the money," Taylor looks at me. "But this letter just reinforces what my decision."
"Which is?"
"I'm going to take some of the money and pay off the house and finish all the remodeling that we've planned-"
"Taylor-"
"No Christian, you read the letter, you read what she wanted me to do with the money," he reaches across the table and takes Christian's hand in his. "I already found who makes me happy, who makes me get out of bed every morning and who I want to spend the rest of my life. The two of you are it for me; the house that we bought is our future. Now we don't need to worry about huge monthly payments for the house and having to save to start the next project. When we get back, let's start designing the rest of the bedrooms, the man cave and the outdoor kitchen. Let's start on it as soon as we can."
"If that's what you want-"
"Christian!" I gasp having expected him to be on my side.
"Ana, I'm not going to argue with Taylor if this is what he wants. His grandmother made it clear why she left him the money; he's doing exactly what he wanted. As long as he's sure…"
"I'm sure," he kisses me on the forehead. "The only other thing I'm more certain about is that I want to spend the rest of my life with the two of you. When the house is finished, I want us to get married. Whatever type of wedding you want Ana, let's do it. I don't want to wait longer than we have to."
"We could make a side trip to Vegas before going home," Christian suggests.
"No," Taylor and I both respond at the same time and laugh.
"We'd never hear the end of it from Elliot if we copied his wedding," Taylor chuckles.
"Shit, you're right. Vegas is out," Christian laughs.
"I'm serious though, I don't want us to have to wait to get married. We can plan the wedding at the same time as the remodeling of the house. We can take a honeymoon later once things settle back down at work, but…I don't want to wait."
"Me either," I agree.
"I don't think any of us want or need anything huge, so we should be able to plan something quick. If Elliot and Kate could plan something in a matter of days then we shouldn't need much longer."
"Maybe more than a few days, we do need to figure out the next plans for the house," I point out.
"Screw the remodeling; let's get the master bedroom and closet done before the wedding, the rest can wait," Taylor says seriously.
"Everything else can wait," Christian agrees. "Let's do this, let's get married…the sooner the better."
"You guys are sure?" I ask.
"Yes," they both answer at the same time.
"Are you?" Taylor asks.
"More than anything."