Testament of Dawn

by Naryfiel Lilith

It should have been a simple year, a year like any other, but a chance encounter leads Byleth and her twin, Azrael, on a path neither ever expected to be on. A path that led to bonds stronger than fate itself. A path that would lead to a war of ideals. Fodlan's night of chaos and war ends with the dawning light, but will fate or bonds decide who bears witness? (3H Novelization)

4. Chapter 3) Worry

Chapter 3) Worry

---

I have successfully completed my first task as a professor. All I've really gotten from it is that I have no idea what I'm doing. But since they're stuck with me, I just… have to do my best. Somehow. Someway. Urgh… my students deserve way better than me. What did they do to deserve this?

---

["Oh, that one looks interesting."] Sothis directed my attention to a book on the shelf above where I'd been looking, and she was right. It did look interesting. I immediately pulled it from the shelf to flip through, impressed by the details on the diagrams. ["All sorts of tactics in this. You should see if you can borrow it."] Indeed, I should. Because, of course, I wasn't perusing books in the library. I was actually in Seteth's office, waiting for him. He'd sent word to see me about something, so I'd been surprised he hadn't already been here. But I didn't mind because… well… books. His study had a lot of books. Lots and lots of book. With a very broad range of subjects. He could take as much time as he wanted. Sothis and I were both contently occupied.

"My apologies for…" Seteth began when he finally walked in, three books later. It took me a moment to look up from the book I was skimming (a fascinating collection of essays involving the effects of weather on tactics) and realize he was there. "Ah." He smiled slightly, and quickly muffled what could only be a laugh. "I see you are one afflicted with a hunger for books."

"Perhaps?" I answered, not sure how to react. After a moment, I closed the book and returned it to the shelf reluctantly. "I have heard many say I got it from my mother."

"Well, I am afraid I cannot speak to that. I arrived here after your mother's death and, thus, never got the chance to meet her. I took over her duties, in fact." Ah, now that he mentioned it, I do remember Alois saying something like that. "I have heard stories, of course. Both she and Jeralt were well loved, and were missed dearly by many. Rhea, especially. But all I can confirm is that Fiona was very organized and incredibly good at her job. I still use many of the systems she set up."

"Really?" I had to smile a little, stupidly pleased by that. It was silly to be proud, but it was nice to hear compliments about her. "Ah, wait, did you not use a title for Rhea?"

"I switch, depending. In this case, it is more accurately to say 'Rhea' because it is as herself. Not as the Archbishop." That was… confusing. But maybe it had something to do with how leaders were just as much symbols as they were people? Dad said that, at least. "It is a compromise we have made. She dislikes it when I use her title."

"She seems to dislike it when most use it."

"Only those she likes." Surprisingly, Seteth chuckled, like there was something funny to it. But he didn't elaborate further. "Is there a topic you are looking for specifically? Tomas would no doubt be delighted to help you."

"Well…" The answer was 'no, not at all'. But I did remember what I had first started looking for, before getting very distracted. "I was curious about your fables."

"My…" He immediately looked embarrassed! In fact, he refused to hold my gaze. "How do you know about those? You haven't been here that long."

"Flayn brags. She loves them." I really shouldn't tease, even if it was true. For one thing, even if the conversation was civil, I had no doubts he still didn't like me. "I'll get away from the shelf now. What was it you wanted to see me about?"

"Ah, yes." Seteth cleared his throat, still embarrassed, but headed to his desk to pull out a couple of papers. I moved to stand in front of it, ignoring Sothis's 'nudges' to be nosy. "I wished to tell you about the mission you and your cohort will have this moon. No doubt it will be dealing with bandits."

"...A real battle? So soon?" I immediately felt uneasy. Given what I had seen when I sparred against them and that mock-battle… "They don't know a thing about fighting together, though. Most of them have less than a month of…"

"I know." Seteth's tone was surprisingly gentle. In fact, he even grimaced, highlighting he wasn't comfortable either. "It's not ideal, truthfully. In years past, the first couple of missions would be camping trips to learn cooperation skills. Helping villagers with the planting and harvesting. Things of that nature. But…" Seteth paused, debating his words. "Those affiliated with Garreg Mach Monastery have a moral obligation to assist those in need. No one is an exception, no matter their social standing."

"That's very noble." Surprisingly so, given my interactions with the Church in the past. "But that doesn't explain…"

"There have been many bandits recently. Minor revolts as well. All sorts of small conflicts that nevertheless stretch each country's army very thin. The Church is obligated to help reinforce the thinner areas, but there have been so many small-scaled conflicts recently that even our own knights are stretched thin." That… made sense, given what I knew. Mercenaries were hired to fill in the gaps, and there were always jobs. "There have been missions we have had to push aside simply because there was not enough manpower to complete them in a safe manner. And there have also been many missions where we have sent fewer knights than we would've liked because the situation called for immediate action."

"...Basically…" I knew what he was implying. I just really didn't like it. "It's send the students or risk the bandits escaping to harm more?" Perhaps that was why those bandits had even been close to Remire in the first place... "I'm surprised you're telling me."

"Oh, don't fret. I'm still quite suspicious and wary. Though, I will admit that some of that has been diverted to another source." He closed his eyes for a moment, staving off visible exasperation. I thought of what I had seen after Hanneman had confirmed our crests, that discussion with Rhea. Was he more suspicious of her now? "However, regardless of my feelings on the matter, we are colleagues. And knowing how serious the matters are will ensure you react appropriately. This is especially true for you, because of the cohort you teach."

"Because I have the heirs to the three countries."

"Precisely. I doubt I need to inform you of the chaos it will cause if something happens to them. At the same time, however, we cannot give them special treatment. For numerous reasons you hopefully never have to find out about." Basically, politics. I would be glad to stay out of that nonsense. "And do not forget, you have the heir to Brigid's throne among yours as well. It was only five years ago they cooperated with Dagda to attempt an invasion. We don't wish to give them more cause to hate Fodlan."

"Of course." I felt ill. How was I supposed to do any of this? How was I supposed to prepare them for a battle, a real battle, in so little time? "Will we have any knights assisting us? Or will it only be us?"

"That…" Seteth paused and looked down to the papers on his desk. "You will have at least a couple. That much, I can promise you. Just how many, however, will depend on when this all happens." He sighed and raised his hand as if he was going to brush his hair behind his ear. He stopped before he could, though. "With luck, we will have enough for the more urgent missions and, thus, you won't have to mobilize until closer to the end of the moon. Which will give you extra time to teach them." I supposed by the end of the moon, there would be more knights gone on missions. "But the farther out we push it, the more uncertain things become."

"Of course." I knew well the dangers of that. People could be unpredictable, and who knew if they'd have an emergency or not. "I don't suppose Dad would be possible?"

"If I could arrange it, I would. But Jeralt is actually tasked with quite a few of those missions I mentioned we had put off." Of course he was. That was the whole reason why Azrael was the 'collar'. "And, sadly, most of them are deep in the Empire."

"Really?" That was surprising. I honestly would've expected the Kingdom, if this was dealing with bandits and the like. "Why push them off?"

"That is…" Seteth fell silent again, this time to study me. "Jeralt mentioned you and Azrael weren't raised within the Church's teachings."

"We were never interested, no." That… uh… I probably shouldn't have said that. "As mercenaries, we often saw the darker sides of almost… everything. As a result, Azrael and I both doubt the stories because they feel too 'neat' for a place as messy as Fodlan. I also question a few of the supposed commandments, such as how murder is okay so long as it's done in the name of the Goddess." ...I wasn't helping my case. In fact, I was making things worse. "I should bite my tongue now, shouldn't I?"

"It is not misguided to question what you are told." Seteth smiled very faintly. I was surprised to hear that, considering… well… the ones I'd encountered before. "It should be noted that the majority of the teachings were written over a thousand years ago, in a very different society, and all stories change as the years go on. Many times, the original meaning is lost and it gains something new. And other times, people adhere to the words far more closely than the writer might have intended."

"I've noticed that when looking through older stories. How translations can differ." Dad knew quite a bit of older languages, and he showed me how languages change over the years. And how the names of things might shift as people interacted more. "You can also imagine how Azrael wouldn't endear himself to the Church."

"Yes, I've noticed." Seteth's tone was so dry that I instantly fretted over what he might have said or done. I hadn't heard anything, but… "Sometimes, I have to wonder if he tailors his words specifically to aggravate and needle."

"Azrael doesn't care enough to do that. Unless the person in question insulted Dad or me. But he normally skips words and goes straight to violence in those cases." Oh, now I was really worried. He and I would need to have a talk. "We went off-topic, didn't we?"

"Quite so." Seteth closed his eyes for a moment, as if willing back more complaints. Azrael, seriously, what did you do? "Regardless, are you at least aware of the different divisions of the Church?"

"Oh, yes. I know the Central Church is here and is the seat of power, and I know that it and the Western Church have had numerous disputes over the years." And that the Western Church was particularly zealous in their worship. The priest who almost hit Azrael with those books had been from the Western Church. "I also know that the Eastern Church is almost desperate for some sort of political clout in the Alliance, as their influence has significantly waned over the years." Truthfully, the Church's power as a whole had weakened significantly as things became more and more chaotic over the years. The only place it's power hadn't completely diminished was the Kingdom, and even then, Dad mentioned that was less out of belief and more out of obligation.

"Oh, good, you know more than I expected based on what Jeralt said." Well, priests hired mercenaries just as much as nobles did. You picked up a few things. "Truthfully, there used to be one more branch, the Southern. However, there was an… insurrection a long time ago that led to many political problems that you can read about in your own time, if you wish. The end result is that relations between the Church and Adrestia have been strained for a very long while."

"So, the missions were put off because you required someone with suitable diplomatic ability as well as fighting prowess to get the job done without sparking a major conflict." That made… wait. Wait a moment. That part did make sense, but… "I'm sorry, but you're having Dad handle sensitive diplomacy?" That… I loved Dad, I truly did, but that sounded like a disaster.

"More like we're having him go in to get the job done, and then dare them to arrest the famous Blade Breaker, hero of Fodlan." Seteth softened enough to smile and I had to smile a little in return. Because that did sound like something Dad would do. Azrael got at least some of his tactlessness honest, after all. "As a result, however, I do not know if he'll be available to help you and your cohort. I may be able to arrange Azrael to accompany you, but regardless of his complete lack of tact, no one can deny his immense skill for battle. And those skills may be needed elsewhere."

"I understand." I didn't much like it, but I did understand. Still, it would be very strange. I had never gone to any battle without Azrael near. "And thank you for explaining."

"As I said to you once before, our responsibility is to the students. This means doing my best to ensure you have the information you need to keep them safe." Surprisingly, his eyes darkened for a moment. "There has been much turmoil over the years. I do not wish to see more. Fodlan has been soaked in far too much blood as it is, and wars leaves wounds and scars that linger and fester long after the fighting ends." I wasn't surprised to hear him speak this way. After all, there was Flayn's own trauma. "That's all for today. I'll provide you with more information as soon as I can."

"Of course." Well, that was a dismissal if I've ever heard one. So I bowed and took a step back to the door.

"Oh, and thank you for befriending Flayn." But, apparently, Seteth had more to say. I noted how his sternness faded completely at the mention of his little sister, and was happy to see it. It was clear she meant the world to him. "She speaks quite happily of the tea she has with you, and she has slept better than she has in years."

"I'm glad I can assist. She's a delight." Would've thought he'd be more wary, but clearly, Flayn's happiness meant he would at least put it to the side. I thought it before, and I thought it again.

Thankfully, that had been the end of the conversation and I could leave without further words. Also thankfully, the monastery liked to cluster 'like with like', so all the offices were more or less clumped together on the same floor. This meant that the Captain's Office, where Dad was, was right across the hall from Seteth's. I wasn't quite sure what Dad's job was now. Supposedly, he was just assisting the current captain, whoever that was, but I'd heard a good half of the knights just call him 'captain'. And not even just the 'older' half. Plus, I only ever saw him working in this office. Maybe the actual captain was off on those missions Seteth mentioned, but honestly, it didn't really matter. All I cared about was how it meant Dad was easy to find when I needed him and freaking hell, I needed him.

Dad glanced up when I opened the door without knocking and studied me for one second before standing up. "I'd ask how you were settling in, but…" he began, holding his arms out for a hug. I gratefully and eagerly took it, tucking my head under his chin to listen to his comforting and steady heartbeat. There really wasn't a sound more soothing… "I figured being thrown in with a bunch of noble brats to teach would be a bit much."

"It's not even just that, though they are all incredibly strange," I mumbled, closing my eyes. Dad stroked my hair, combing it with his fingers to help me relax more. "Seteth told me about the missions and…"

"Yeah, Lady Rhea told me that your first mission will likely involve you taking them bandit hunting." He let go of me and directed me to the pair of couches in front of the desk. I promptly flopped facedown on one of them, glad to lie down. "I wish I could help, but…"

"Seteth said that there were a lot of missions."

"There are." Dad sat back down again, based on the slight creak of the chair. "That's why the current captain can't keep up. There's just too much. Plus, there's apparently trouble with the Abyssians..."

"The who?" I'd never heard of them before.

"Er… we'll talk about them later. You've got enough to worry about." Oh. Joy. "I will be out in the field soon, but don't hesitate to ask for help from the knights. Some might be a little too eager to help you out. Alois, for instance."

I grunted in acknowledgement, confused as to why anyone would help. If we were in Remire, it would make sense, but sometimes, I wondered if this was just where everyone weird in Fodlan congregated. Not that it mattered because this couch was surprisingly comfy and I could feel myself dozing…

["So, we are taking children into battle, are we?"] That is until Sothis jarred me into wakefulness. Her voice was very dry, almost to the point of being brittle. ["When children have to take up arms, society has truly fallen into ruin."]

"You don't have to tell me," I mumbled. I barely realized I said the words aloud until I heard Dad make a questioning noise. "Talking to the girl."

"Are you?" he asked absently. I knew he had to be giving me a weird look, even if he was used to my being weird. "Gremlin, get her to not think herself into spirals, will you?"

["Must he call me that?!"]

"She asks that you not call her that," I relayed, mostly because I was now too sleepy to keep quiet. Biting your tongue required having the mental ability to recognize you needed to do so and I didn't have that when dozing. "Or at least is wondering why you do."

"If she's going to be so rude as to take up residence in your head without asking, then she can deal with me calling her a gremlin," Dad answered without a second's hesitation. I had to smile a little. "Regardless, get some rest, kid. You're clearly tired."

"Mmm…" Not going to argue that…

["I am the rude one!? I… well, I suppose we don't actually know why you and I are connected. Still, me? Rude?!"] Sothis, on the other hand, didn't appreciate Dad's comment. But she sighed gustily. ["Well, you are his baby girl. Of course he won't put blame on you. I suppose we should be grateful that he believes you."] Considering all he had to put up with… ["True, you and Azrael are quite different from normal children. Still, I wonder what is going through his head with all of this. He is terribly difficult to read when he wants to be."] I felt Sothis stroke my hair and caught a flicker of her form hovering by the couch. ["He keeps a journal, doesn't he? I'd love to be able to take a peak or three."] I wasn't doing that. ["Of course not. You're a sweet girl who respects her father's privacy. But if he ever offers to let you read, I shall be most cross if you don't take it."] That wasn't going to happen. ["Back to what I was trying to say, though… with the battle ahead."]

'What about it?' I mouthed, careful to not actually say the words aloud this time. Harder than it sounded. 'I want to sleep...'

["This shan't take long. I promise."] She laughed a little, even though her tone was serious. ["I was just going to say that I believe I can give you my ability to turn back the hands of time. Like how I saved you."]

'Really?'

["Yes. I believe since you have a physical body, you would be able to turn it back even farther. Though, still not too far. Less if you're tired. It will no doubt strain your body. So, it is not infinite. But by using it, you and I can keep the little ones safe."] That seemed… ["It will only truly be useful in a battle, where a few seconds can mean the difference in everything. But it is the best way I can help you in that scenario. Well, that and watching as well."]

'Catches? Besides strain?'

["Well, I'm going to activate it whether you want me to or not if you're the one who takes a fatal blow. We share the ability, and you have priority in my opinion."] Well, she and I were connected. ["Ha! True. But that's not why."] Again, it felt like she was stroking my hair. ["Nor is it because I said I would guide you. I may have been awake for a short while, but you are very precious to me. So, I will do whatever I must to keep you safe."]

I mumbled something incoherent and went straight into sleep since… well, she was soothing. And unlike with others, I wasn't confused by her affection. Maybe it was because I had seen her all of my life, so she wasn't a 'stranger'. She was 'family'. Even if the rest of my family couldn't hear or see her. It could also be because I knew she was being honest. She meant exactly what she said. Either way, though… thinking on that was for a day I didn't have other things to think on. So, not for a while. If ever.

---

"So, we'll be fighting bandits? That's not very original, Teach." Somehow, I was unsurprised Claude faked a lack of enthusiasm at the news. He shrugged and stretched, tipping his chair back before settling it on all four legs again. "Still, I suppose it won't be boring with everyone there," he continued, reaching up to unbraid and rebraid the hair by his face. "Not that the last fight was boring, mind. In Remire, I mean."

I had no idea how to reply to Claude's comment about boredom, mostly because… well, battles weren't something I could describe as such, even in jest. Thankfully, I had a convenient excuse to keep quiet. Since the four of us had met in my room to discuss the potential mission for the moon, I was making tea. Or remaking it, since the four of us had already emptied the pot. Discussions may have involved a lot of their banter before we actually got on topic. The three had no problems talking while I kept silent.

"What I am more worried about is that we have only just arrived at the academy and already are being sent out to battle," Dimitri sighed, frowning at Claude's words. He smiled, however, when I refilled his cup, and nodded in thanks before becoming serious again. "It is a noble mission of course, but there is little difference between battling bandits and battling… well, anything else. Even with support, we must brace ourselves for a challenge."

"Do you doubt our victory?" Edelgard asked, a challenge to her voice. It softened when she smiled in thanks at me for refilling her cup. "I do hope that is not the case."

"Of course not. Given the mock battle, I am certain we will prevail. My concern comes from how many will be injured. Not to mention..." Dimitri carefully didn't look at anyone, though he tried to mask it by drinking his tea. "It will be the first time killing for some of our classmates."

"That is true. I'm worried about that myself." Edelgard frowned, nursing her own tea. I finally filled up Claude's cup and sat down. "We must do what we can to support and ensure they are mentally prepared."

"Speaking from personal experience, there's not a lot we can do for ensuring that." He was right, sadly. You could psych yourself up all you wanted. Once the battle-fever hit, and once you felt your blade slide through flesh… your sense of logic fled and you were left with nothing but instinct and instinct alone. "Still, you are right. We must support them."

"What was that?" Claude asked, intrigued. I already knew that rarely meant good things. Claude was more curious than a kitten, and he didn't have the excuse of being adorable to get away with it. "Speaking from personal experience, your kingliness?"

"I had to put down a rebellion two years ago," Dimitri answered tonelessly. The clipped way he said the words made it very clear he didn't want to elaborate. Claude looked ready to anyway, but I fixed him with a look to get him to stop. People were entitled to their secrets. Not everyone had pasts they wanted to share. "Out of the 'cubs', Ashe, Annette, and Mercedes are the only ones who have not faced true battle before." I still could not believe those nicknames had actually become a thing. Though, I supposed it did make it easier to refer to them as a group. "The rest of us have."

"Sadly, I believe most of the eaglets haven't seen true battle," Edelgard murmured. She rested her fist against her cheek, thinking. "Caspar has been around soldiers all of his life, however, so he should theoretically be better prepared. Ferdinand… actually, Ferdinand might have some experience. Hubert and I do as well. But none of the others."

"Has there been trouble in Ferdinand's lands?"

"It depends on whether he's involved with Hyrm or not. But that's... a completely different discussion."

"Of course."

"Wow, you guys know your fellows well," Claude commented, sounding a little surprised. Then again, given what I knew of the Alliance… "I can take guesses, but I don't know who has fought and hasn't among the fawns. None of them talk about it. Might be better to assume they haven't."

"Meaning there's a very real chance of someone freezing on the field," Dimitri pointed out, drawing us to his original point. He didn't need to elaborate on how bad that would be. I could only hope that we could keep them safe if that happened. "That is what I most worry about."

"Well, I won't say you shouldn't, but that's something you can't control, so better just to keep your eyes open." Claude shrugged; Dimitri simply smiled wanly. If only one could stop worrying just by wanting to stop. "As for me, I'm raring to go for more combat experience. Any chance to grow is a good thing. And while the mock battle helped show us how little we knew, a real one will show us whether we can actually handle this sort of thing or not. Like that freezing thing you're worried about."

"True…" Dimitri sighed and, suddenly, focused on me. "By the way, Professor, what is this tea? It smells amazing."

"Why are you commenting on the smell rather than the taste?"

"Because I noticed the scent first?"

"Though, I must ask what it is as well because the taste is even more wonderful than the scent in my opinion," Edelgard said, easily interrupting a potential 'debate' between Dimitri and Claude. I hoped the three of them could learn to work together. Yes, they had some very dramatic differences, but that was why I felt like if they could lead Fodlan to brighter times. They forced each other to not only think of other ideas, but communicate their own thoughts and the reasons behind them. "So, Professor? Is it a big secret or can you share?" It certainly wasn't a secret, but I didn't answer. I didn't get a chance to.

"Excuse me, Professor?" Because right then, Dorothea opened the door as she knocked, and she blinked a couple of times to see the four of us at tea. "Well, that makes things easy," she mused before smiling. "So, some of the more musically inclined members of our cohort have set up an impromptu concert just down the way. You know… because it's the Harpstring Moon and all?"

"That's unexpected," Edelgard murmured. She frowned in thought, as if trying to logic how that happened. "Who all is there?"

"Well, let's just say you four are the only ones absent. Even Felix and Hubie are with us!" She giggled, amused. Edelgard's expression blanked like she couldn't believe Hubert was there. Then again, he didn't see the social type. "Surprisingly, Felix didn't put up anything more than a token fight."

"Felix likes music a great deal, though he's not great at harmonizing," Dimitri explained, smiling warmly. Yet there was sadness to it as well. I wondered what he was remembering. "I bet all someone had to say was 'singing' and he grumbled but followed."

"You know him well!" Dorothea confirmed, still laughing. Dimitri's smile simply grew sad at that, for some reason. "But yes, we're all together for music. I'm not singing personally, since I don't want to overshadow anyone or have anyone think I'm vying for attention, so I volunteered to get our darling professor to join us." She smiled warmly, but there was mischief dancing in her eyes. "Sylvain also said I should keep an eye out for Prince Dimitri and-"

"Oh, Goddess, no." Dimitri groaned, not even letting Dorothea finish her sentence. Both Edelgard and Claude looked at him curiously. "I'm not singing."

"Oh, you can sing?"

"...No." Dimitri looked away, refusing to meet anyone's gaze. "Not at all."

"Why, Prince Dimitri! I think that might be a lie!" Dorothea muffled a little laugh, especially when Edelgard became increasingly more curious. And Claude began smirking like a cat pulling a trick. And Dimitri desperately looked around for some sort of escape. "Luckily, we have a secret weapon on our hands."

"Professor, this has been a lovely time, but I fear I need to go do… something." Dimitri scrambled to his feet. Claude immediately bolted to the door to help Dorothea block it. "I can, and will, move both of you." In fact, Dimitri proved it by easily scooping Claude up with one arm and moved him to the side before slipping past Dorothea. "Anyway, I shall see you-"

"Your Highness!" And that was when the 'secret weapon' appeared. At least, that was what I assumed Annette was. Because I doubted anyone could refuse her earnest eyes and peppy grin. "Come sing with me!" she insisted, snagging Dimitri by the arm and dragging him off before anyone could stop her. And before Dimitri could drag his feet or dig his heels in. "Ingrid said you have a lovely singing voice! I want to hear!"

"...Perhaps we ought to join the crowd before the others devise some sort of 'secret weapon' for all of us," Edelgard suggested calmly, as Dimitri sputtered protests slowly faded away. She sighed forlornly, looking at the teapot. "It's such good tea as well…"

"I can warm it up again easily," I reassured her, mostly because I wasn't quite sure what was going on. But it was better to just roll with the blows, so to speak. "Besides, I do believe Dorothea and Claude will drag us out if we don't."

"Sad, but true." Edelgard finished off her tea before standing. Claude returned to the table to do the same. "Shall we, then?"

Dorothea hadn't been kidding when she said the cohort was just down the way. They had set up on the lawn on the second level of the dorms, right in front of Bernadetta's room, and I wondered how we hadn't heard anything while talking in my room. She also hadn't been kidding when she said everyone was there. Though Dorothea hadn't mentioned her, Bernadetta was surprisingly sitting outside, on the walkway, absently kicking her feet to the beat while the rest lounged, sprawled, or sang depending on the person. Or danced, in Hilda's case, though she quickly pulled in Dorothea to join her. And, once Dimitri was firmly pinned by Sylvain, Annette jumped into the dance with a laugh.

"Their voices are all over the place," Edelgard grumbled, scowling a little. She rubbed her ears, as if the discordance physically pained them. "They should be in harmony."

"Aw, come on, it adds a bit of color," Claude laughed, not nearly as bothered. His grin was bright, and lively. 'Real', compared to some of the others I'd seen. "Having fun is way more important."

"I'd like it if their fun didn't assault my ears…" Edelgard sighed, but did relent enough to smile. Just a little. "Still, I am glad to see so much cheer."

"I know, right?" Claude slung his arm around Edelgard's shoulder. "So, shall we join in, princess? Where should we sit? Seems like everyone is mostly clustered by House like usual, but there's some mixing here and there." Mostly just chatter between those who happened to be sitting next to those from other houses (like Ashe and Caspar). But, Claude was right in that aside from the singing (which was definitely a group thing) and the dancing (which had one from each house), all conversations were just between housemates. "We can tease Lysithea! She brought a book."

"Well, I…" Edelgard bit her lip, thinking. I felt the wind stir, and sensed Azrael nearby. But I couldn't see him. That could only mean one thing, so I reached over to pull Claude and Edelgard closer to me. Just in case. "Hmm? Professor, what's-?"

"Huh. So, this is why there's music on the wind," Azrael noted, jumping down from the roof. He used the wind to soften his landing before jogging over to my side. He ignored everyone's surprised looks easily, particularly Claude and Edelgard's. Of course, they'd been the only ones to see him jump. "Interesting mix. I think there's been songs popular in all three of the countries."

"Sir Azrael, where did you spring from?" Caspar asked, while the others hesitantly resumed the songs. Caspar nudged a sleeping Linhardt off of him so that he could turn to face us. Linhardt groaned in protest, opened his eyes for a moment, and moved just enough to sleep in Caspar's lap. Caspar didn't mind. "We didn't see you coming up or down the way or anything." In response, Azrael just pointed to the roof. "Wait, the roof? The roof?!"

"It's not that hard of a climb, and I like high places. Lets me hear the wind more easily." Azrael shrugged and slipped a flower behind my ear. I had no idea where he had acquired it, but I sensed the whole reason he'd been on the roof in the first place was to sense where I was and have the fastest way to me. "I might have been distracted by the music, though."

"You like music, then?"

"Well, I like it more because I associate it with my family." Azrael shrugged and I tried to catch his eye so that he'd keep silent. But since he was distracted… "Dad and Byleth will sometimes sing when they're in a good mood."

"Sir Jeralt sings?"

"He's really good too!" Leonie chimed in with a grin. It was hard to say if she was more proud or smug, but I was inclined to believe the former. Sothis thought it the latter. "He didn't sing much when he helped my village, but I heard him a couple of times. He said his daughter was better at it." I was not!

"Now that sounds like a recommendation!" Ashe laughed, smiling. His smile turned shy when he looked at me earnestly. I already felt my resolve crumble. "Professor, do you mind? I'm sure all of us would like to hear."

"Yeah, I want to hear for myself if you're better than Captain Jeralt!"

"I don't know that many songs," I half-protested, narrowing my eyes at Azrael. He wavered between excited and apologetic because while he didn't like upsetting me, he absolutely adored when I sung. "And I doubt I'll live up to whatever expectations you have. I'm really not that good."

Still, I reluctantly sat down among my students and, after thinking, closed my eyes and began singing one of the few songs I knew. It was a song Dad used to sing a lot for Azrael and me, when we stubbornly refused to sleep. Not quite a lullaby, but something soothing to listen to nonetheless. A song that wove notes into a story of fairies dancing across frozen lakes and sprites darting amongst the trees. Of beasts of monstrous size who slept below mountains, or deep under the ocean's waves. Of winged creatures that made their homes amidst the clouds, playfully dashing about the wind's currents. A tale that urged one to stop, to breathe, and to look about the world with all its wonders.

I sensed Azrael's adoration before I was even halfway done, and I had to admit that it did make me feel better about singing in front of strangers. Particularly when I finished and opened my eyes to see my students staring. "I warned you," I pointed out, embarrassed now. Sothis was immediately outraged at me for some reason. "So…"

"Teach, if that's your 'not that good', I live in fear of what you declare 'beautiful'," Claude immediately joked. At least, I thought it was a joke. His eyes were serious, but what else could the words be? "Wow, that was amazing."

"And that's why I risk her being mad at me to hear her," Azrael declared loftily, sitting next to me. He rested his head on my shoulder, smiling softly. He really did love it when I sang. "I'm practically tonedeaf in comparison."

"You can't be that bad."

"Well, I'm better when it's acapella. I can't harmonize to save my life!"

"You also delight in messing up lyrics simply to tease me," I muttered, still annoyed at him. But it softened just because of the happiness I sensed. "Regardless, you don't have to flatter me, Claude. I promise it will not get you out of whatever work I end up assigning." I looked around at everyone, smiling faintly. "But please, continue singing and playing? I would love to hear more."

Thankfully, everyone did, and before long, everyone was laughing and enjoying themselves again. I watched and listened, occasionally humming along for Azrael. The happiness I sensed from him more than made up for whatever embarrassment I had at making a fool of myself.

---

I was, slowly, getting used to people knocking on my door at all hours. For any number of reasons. Most of the time, it was one of my students asking that I join them for a meal, or asking about how their lessons would go. Occasionally, it was one of the staff (read: Manuela) trying to drag me into town. Or one of the knights (read: Alois) inviting me on a walk around the monastery. Or Flayn coming in for what was quickly becoming our regular midnight tea. So, I wasn't surprised when someone knocked on my door in the early morning. I was surprised to see it was Felix, though. Felix didn't exactly socialize unless it was training, or someone dragged him into it.

"If you're here to ask for a spar, I am afraid I'm a little busy," I said as I invited him in. Though he stepped over the threshold, he didn't move further and he kept one hand on the door handle, like he was prepared to escape as soon as possible. "I apologize for the bluntness, but I somehow doubt you're here for morning tea."

"Huh. You are learning about all of us," Felix confirmed, glancing around my room. His furrowed brow hinted it wasn't anything like what he expected, what with all the fresh flowers and various books stacked in piles wherever there was free space. "No, I just thought I should tell you something. Based on a couple of things I've seen."

"Oh?"

"Yes." Surprisingly, though, he hesitated. That seemed weird. Very weird. "For years, the boar prince and I were inseparable. I know him better than anyone else." Oh, was I being threatened again? Really? "So, let me give you some advice." Was Felix making it three for three since Claude didn't have a vassal? "Beneath that princely polish, he's an animal, nothing more." ...Nope, this just went in a completely different direction. "He's strong and skilled, sure, but don't place your trust in him as a human being." And it was one I very much didn't like. Even better/worse, Sothis didn't either and her annoyance definitely bled through to feed my own. "Take care-"

"Felix, sit down." I fixed him with a look, doing my level best to emulate Dad when he was at his least amused. The way Felix stiffened hinted it worked. "Now. And close the door, will you?"

For a moment, I thought he wouldn't listen to me, based on the glare he wore. But, he did, each footstep thudding like rocks hitting the ground. He had to go back once to actually close the door before sitting down. I began brewing some tea, almost going for a sweeter one without thinking, before remembering how he always seemed to avoid desserts. So, I went with a different tea instead, and took my time making it. Neither of us said a word, with the silence broken only by the distant noise of others beginning their morning.

"This is a four-spice blend," I explained when I poured him the tea. He eyed it dubiously for a moment. "I noticed during the few times we've eaten at the same time that you avoid sweets."

"You're observant," he indirectly confirmed. With a scowl. Because of course he had a scowl. I wondered if it was a mask he 'wore' to help hide what he truly felt. "I didn't come here for tea."

"No, but you're having some anyway." Because I definitely needed something warm if I was having a serious discussion this early in the morning. "I'm going to take a leap of faith and a guess about what you're actually trying to say with that little 'warning'."

"Didn't think I was that ambig-"

"I'm guessing it has something to do with the shadows that hide in Dimitri's eyes even when he's happy, and the wall he uses to try and protect himself that's slowly cracking." I sipped my tea, enjoying the warmth. Even if it was a little too hot still. My tongue burned. "Am I at least on the right track?"

"...You're observant." Though he still scowled, his tone was definitely softer. More hesitant. "I don't think many see that. If anyone."

"My life has depended on reading people, and quickly connecting potential dots." Besides, given what little I knew of the Tragedy of Duscar, it would be more of a surprise if he didn't have shadows. I also had Sothis listening in on this conversation and giving me little nudges. Wordless thoughts that gave me more to work with. "I must admit that the 'animal' part eludes me. You call him 'boar', an animal often associated with strength and valor. Particularly if you manage to kill one. Other stories associate it with darkness, death, and winter." There were many tales of heroes of legend slaying boars, and an equal number dying to them. "I believe I've once read a tale of how one civilization that predated the Empire associated boars with gallant losers who have finally met their match, in contrast to the victorious hunter that was the lion."

"You are putting way too much thought in that name." He was back to sarcasm. That is, until he frowned, startled by something. "Wait, how do you even know about the link between boars and lions? That's very old folklore in Faerghus. You normally only hear it in the northernmost parts, where the Church's influence is weakest."

"Mercenary. Travel. Plus, a dad who knows lots of stories." And, more to the point, a dad who was very happy to share stories with his twins. "I'm guessing that if that is 'too much thought' though, then you went with one of the more common associations. Fearsome recklessness and impetuous determination."

"Is there a point to the literature lesson?"

"My guess is that you call him 'boar' because of how he will recklessly charge forward, often without protecting himself. How he can fight like he has no regard for his own life, and the blows he lands are almost always brutal hits that, in a true battle, would kill with a single hit. Though there is the question of how quickly or slowly the person would die." I sipped my tea again, kind of enjoying his surprise. Even if I had Sothis's help for this. I just… couldn't stand what he had said. I heard too many similar things about me. "I have ordered him in battle twice. Once during the mock battle and once against the bandits in Remire. I have also seen him training." That late night training I'd seen... where he barely seemed in control… "I can take a couple of guesses based on that."

"...Why did you assume battle?"

"Because if he was a 'beast' in any other way, or at any other time, you wouldn't associate with him. You wouldn't worry."

"I am not worrying about the boar." He scoffed and made to stand. I was treading into dangerous waters. I knew it. But… "I-"

"Well, I highly doubt I am the one you're worrying about. You keep your distance from everyone, even those you've known all your life. So, I can't think of another reason why you would give that 'warning'. Unless you're purposely trying to isolate Dimitri in the hopes that his trauma consumes him alive." I purposely said the words lightly, and was rewarded by the brief look of horror on Felix's face. That was all I needed, though I felt horrible for 'testing' his reaction. Whatever his thoughts, whatever strain there may be… he was still loyal. "However, I understand that I'm treading a thin line between things you are comfortable telling me about and things you are not. I imagine this entire conversation hasn't gone anywhere near where you expected."

"I… kind of expected to just say my piece and leave."

"I'm not surprised." I waited for him to sit down again, and he did after a moment. "Besides, that is only part of how I made my guess anyway."

"...What's the rest?" Felix finally drank some of the tea, and he seemed startled for a moment by it. "Huh. This is actually good."

"Four-spiced blend." Best to repeat it. He might want to get his own supply. And it gave me an extra second to find an answer that wasn't 'the gremlin in my heart is helping me'. "The only other ideas I had about why you would bring it up were two things. One is that you thought that I, for some reason, wouldn't be used to brutality. If that is the case, then I should mention that I am not only certain I've seen worse…" Not even just because of Azrael either. People would resort to horrific things in order to survive, especially in battle. "But I'm even more certain that I've done worse." Flickers of memories of jobs danced through my skull… so much blood and death… I had to force myself to ignore them to keep talking. "The other is that you think there's a 'false self' hiding his 'true self' of the beast. Which is understandable, but an idea I personally find ridiculous."

"...How so?"

"There's no such thing as a 'true self', so much as a person is the sum of all their actions. That's what Dad said, at least." He taught Azrael and me that while explaining the phrase 'do not judge a book by its cover'. "The person someone is off the battlefield is still the same person as the one on the battlefield. A person lost to their own darkness is still the same person who tries with all their might to fight it. The only difference is the environment, what behavior is encouraged, and which traits a person chooses to follow. Being 'good' is always an active choice, after all. It always is." At least, that was how I had understood Dad's lesson about it. It was why I was a monster drenched in blood, always smelling of death and rot, no matter where I was. "Though, Dad also mentioned that too much light was just as bad as the dark." I wasn't so sure about that even now. Though, I understood his metaphor a little better when he pointed out how looking directly at the sun hurt a lot. "The greater the light, the larger the shadows…" And I was rambling like Azrael about pointless things. Whoops. "Ah, I'm sorry. My thoughts ran away from me."

"...No, it's fine." He drained his cup and stood up quickly. "Do whatever you want." He spat out the words. "Especially with the boar."

"I believe I will." I sipped my tea and, this time, let him escape. I'd have to figure out some way to make this up to him. I undoubtedly dug into wounds that hadn't healed quite yet, and definitely delved into topics he couldn't (wouldn't) trust me with. Maybe I'd finally actually spar with him. He'd requested it a couple of times, but I was always busy...

["I've said it before and I'll say it again. I fear most of your menagerie is broken."] Though Sothis tried to keep her tone light, I heard the worry and sorrow in it. ["I think you're on the right track in why that boy came to you."]

"What else did you see, Sothis?" I asked softly, refilling my cup. There was no sense in letting the pot go to waste, after all. "Since you were eavesdropping and all."

["Of course I was. However could I stay sleeping during a discussion like that!"] Surprisingly, she sighed gustily. ["Oh, how I wish I had a physical form like you do. I would adore sharing a cup of tea with you."]

"If we figure out a way, I'd be delighted." It occurred to me, as it usually did when I talked to her, that I really should be a little more shocked by all this. But, I wasn't. "But for now, what was your impression of him? I'm grateful for what bits you gave to me, but was there more?"

["As I said, I think you were right. I don't think that boy came to 'warn' you so much as to poorly ask you for help. He tries to hide it, but I could see the affection behind the thorns. Though there is fear as well, and not just the fear of seeing a friend hurting."]

"What other fear?"

["Mmm…"] Sothis was quiet for a while, debating. And looking through not only her memories and thoughts, but mine. ["This is just a guess… but I think it could be the fear of seeing someone you love turn into a monster. Seeing the darkness in someone you care for… I imagine it is always difficult to reconcile once you see it."] I supposed so… ["Still, that is only a guess and, admittedly, part of that guess is based on just some sort of instinct. Like how I'm certain Rhea and Seteth are broken."]

"I see." I finished off my cup and poured myself some more tea. "If that's true, then why…"

["If he truly was coming to you for help as we tentatively guess, then yes, why you of all people? Why not someone he has known longer? Or even just someone older. An adult-adult, not a young adult."] All very good questions. ["My only guess is that something has soured his belief that a 'proper adult' will actually try to help. But then that leads to the question of why he thought you might."] This was all so confusing… ["Perhaps desperation? The people closest to Dimitri are broken."]

"Dedue is the survivor of a genocide, and it's impossible to know at the moment just what might be hiding behind Sylvain's smile, and Ingrid's seriousness."

[Precisely. Broken children can only do so much for other broken children. Something will slip and shatter."] Sothis's words became sadder and heavier with each syllable. ["And that is just the issues with five of your menagerie."] No kidding. Who knew what scars they hid? ["I fear they are all in a very delicate balance and it will only take on misstep for them to be consumed. If they aren't already."]

"And I have to guide them. Somehow." How in creation was I supposed to do that?

["I will help you. I will remind you as many times as I have to."] Sothis 'hugged' me then, reassuring and relaxing me. ["You must be careful to not drown in others' pain, Byleth. It's why you do silly things like throw yourself in front of an axe to save just one young girl."]

I sat there for a while, just drinking the tea until it was gone. Then I went to wash the pot and cups, being… well, more careful than I probably needed. But this tea set had been Mom's, so I wanted to be gentle. I didn't want to accidentally scratch a single part or, worse, crack them. Besides, it was nice to focus on a single task like this. It helped ground me, instead of having my thoughts bounce around all over the place. Something nice and easy to calm down from that conversation, and get me back into a mindset to work on lesson plans...

"Professor?" Dorothea's quiet voice was only barely audible over her soft knock, but it still startled me. "Are you there?" she asked, sounding hesitant. "It's Dorothea."

"Come on in," I invited, continuing my cleaning. I was almost done. "Is everything okay?"

"Well…" Dorothea opened the door and, surprisingly, she was blushing a faint pink. "The truth is, my… um… my undershirt got blown away by the wind. A-and it doesn't matter why. Right?"

"Of course it doesn't?" Why would it? "We'd better find it. What color is it? Did you see the direction?"

"It's pale blue, and it definitely fluttered this direction. I think it's either near the broken sauna or the training grounds." She smiled in relief. "Thank you so much! Last thing I need it fans trying to steal it. Again."

"...I'm not even going to ask." Why in creation would someone steal a person's underwear? Well, unless they were a thief and needed the clothes. That I could understand. "Let me just finish drying these cups."

Dorothea actually helped me, insisted on it even since I was helping her. As we worked, we decided that she would look around the sauna, while I'd head to the training grounds. Of course, when we agreed to that, I hadn't expected anyone to actually be at the training grounds. While not especially early by now, it was still around the time most were debating what to have for breakfast. Not sparring in the middle of the training field as Raphael and Caspar were doing.

"Hmm? Oh, Professor!" Raphael greeted boisterously when he noticed me. Caspar relaxed from his stance and waved at me. "Are you here to train too?"

"No, I'm searching for something," I answered, joining them. I frowned, however, looking over both him and Caspar. They were both very flushed, drenched in sweat, and their knuckles were swollen. Thought their wrists might be too. "How long have you two been going at it?" There was a very long pause while both tried to calculate. "Time to stop. Now."

"Aw, but you have to train daily, right?" Raphael frowned a little in confusion, but surprisingly, Caspar just listened and ducked back to where the towels were kept. "Legs, chest, back, arms, and abs! Gotta work 'em all." He laughed, but all I felt was worry. "Another day of training, and my muscles are ready to burst."

"Burst is right…" I reached over to take his hand in both of mine, and sent a pulse of my magic through him. What I 'read' made my worry spike. "As in you're dangerously close to permanently hurting yourself."

"Huh?"

"Raphael, when you train your muscles, you're actually damaging them and then they repair themselves to become stronger. But you have to give them time to repair, and based on what I sense, you're not doing that. You just keep pushing." I used my magic to ease some of the inflammation, and sent another pulse through to check for anything more serious. Thankfully, I didn't sense anything. "I want you to take it easy the rest of the day, and tomorrow as well. Nothing more strenuous than a bit of walking."

"Come to think of it… my grandpa used to make me take walks after I worked out." He thought about it for a moment before shrugging. "But I have to be strong if I want to become a knight."

"There's more to being a knight than strength, and you definitely won't make it if you destroy yourself." I sensed Sothis trying to say something, but I ignored her. I had a feeling it would be a barb at me. "'Quick and easy' isn't a path to true growth, Raphael. Often, it leads to a destination that you never wanted." Azrael and I had always been confused by that when we were younger, so Dad had told us the 'Tale of the Fool' to help explain it. Maybe I should tell it to my students? "Besides, you will want to know tactics and other things to be a knight. You can study while you rest."

"Aw… but training my brain makes me sleepy." He groaned and, surprisingly, look despondent. "There's always too much to memorize."

"You don't have to memorize everything." What was a good way to explain? "You might have noticed this during the mock-battle, Raphael, but after the first few minutes, you were tired and moved more on instinct than anything, yes?"

"Hmm… yeah, you're right." He nodded slowly, remembering. "I mean; I managed to fight longer than some of the others, but even then…"

"That's because you trained and practiced, so your body remembered. A muscle memory." I let go of Raphael then and stepped back to make it easier on my neck to look up at him. "With studies, it is much the same. You're making it so that in a situation where it is difficult to think, you can recall things easier. That's why you don't have to memorize." He immediately look relieved. Which confused me. At least, at first. Then I remembered what Claude had said. "I'm guessing you're desperate to be a knight because of what happened to your parents?"

"Oh, you know about that, Professor?" He seemed surprised for a moment before smiling. "It is. It's my job to look after my little sis. Thing is… well, I'm not great at bookkeeping, so I knew I wouldn't be able to do so as a merchant. I talked to my grandpa about it, and he suggested I try to be a knight. Steady income and connections Maya can use when she's old enough to take over our parents' business. The three of us discussed the best way to do that, and we sold our valuables to pay my way here. So, if I get kicked out… well, I can't." He said it easily, but my heart hurt. And made me remember what Claude and Dimitri had mentioned about the price of tuition. "I might've become a mercenary if I didn't have my little sis to worry about. Seems like an easier life, with fewer responsibil…" He trailed off, and I wondered if it was because my expression locked up even more so than usual. "That… uh… probably wasn't something to say."

"No, it's good you didn't choose to become a mercenary, especially for those reasons. I wouldn't say it's an easier life, though." No, not one bit. "Mercenaries are hired for the 'dirty jobs' nobles and knights don't want to be associated with. Or to fill in gaps in their own defenses, typically the more dangerous gaps. There's always the danger of your employer trying to kill you so that they can get out of paying you. And people believe they are entitled to your blade, with or without your consent." Memories of jobs, each one bloodier than the last, flitted through my head. Sothis, however, immediately 'hugged' me, keeping them at bay. "We won't go into the dangers of traveling on the road. But there are many, especially nowadays." I debated for a moment before pushing up my sleeve so that he could see the scars I had. I thought it might help emphasize my words. "Mercenaries are always fighting. A mercenary who can't fight starves. So..."

"...I'm sorry, Professor." Raphael bowed his head. "I spoke without thinking, and hurt you. I shouldn't have said anything when I didn't know about it."

"Raphael…" I pushed my sleeve down and poked his cheek to get him to look up. "I've heard much worse. Much, much worse. And I won't say knighthood doesn't have its darker sides either. But it certainly is the better option, since your focus is your sister."

"Yeah, she's been through a lot. I don't want her worrying about me." After a moment, he smiled again. It was a little more hesitant than his typical, but it was good enough for me. "If she's happy, I'm happy. Do you know what I mean? You've got a twin."

"Yes, I do. Though, in my case, I'm the younger one." But I did enjoy seeing Azrael happy, and I knew Azrael felt the same. The best days were when we were both happy. "Regardless, I promise to help you as much as I can. I can probably get a few of the Knights of Seiros to help you as well." Somehow, I had a feeling Alois wouldn't refuse.

"Thanks, Professor!" His smile gained its typical light again. Thank goodness… "No going easy on me, though!"

"Of course."

"And… again, I'm sorry." This time, he fully bowed. Nearly knocked his head on mine. "Even if you have heard worse, I still shouldn't have said it."

"You rest when I tell you and we'll call it 'even', okay?" What was I supposed to do when strangers apologized? I had no idea at all. Thankfully, I had an easy escape. "Ah, Caspar, there you are. I'm surprised you listened to me so quickly."

"If there's one thing I've learned living around soldiers is that when your trainer says to stop, you better stop before they knock you out," Caspar explained, laughing. I tried to not squirm at the idea of 'knocking out' one of my students. Just didn't seem right. "Besides, there's other ways to train!"

"You're taking it easy for the rest of the day," I ordered. I might've said more, but then he passed a towel to Raphael, and I saw the other cloth he held. The pale blue cloth. "Caspar, that's not a towel."

"Yeah, isn't it weird?" Caspar shrugged, though, and wiped his face with. "I just kind of found it. Not sure what it's supposed to be, but it's great for wiping up sweat!" ...How… how did he not realize that was a…? "Why?"

"You're aware that could belong to someone, right?"

"Er… oh." Caspar's expression blanked before he immediately shoved it into my hands, almost panicking. "I'm sorry! That didn't actually occur to me. I didn't mean to steal it."

"I doubt one would call this 'stealing'?" Still, he looked angry at himself, so I patted his head to reassure him. "Just keep it in mind the next time some cloth comes fluttering."

"Got it, Professor."

I lingered a bit to reassure Caspar more, and to make sure the two actually left to go take a shower and rest. Then I made sure the grounds were clean and everything was put up where it was supposed to be. Only after that did I actually leave the training grounds to go find Dorothea.

"Oh, you found it!" Dorothea gasped above me, spotting me as soon as I stepped out. I looked up to see her leaning over the edge of the wall by the sauna before she quickly took the stairs down to join me. "Thank goodness… I was beginning to panic."

"I can imagine," I answered. Not because I actually could, but because it felt right to say. When she took it from me, though, I remembered what had just happened. "You might want to wash it a few times. I think someone mistook it for a sweat cloth in the training grounds."

"What sort of oblivious idiot mistakes this for a towel?" Dorothea rolled her eyes, laughing softly. I just shrugged and decided against informing her it was Caspar. "Well, there's all sorts of people here at the academy, huh? Thank you for finding it for me. Is there anything you want?"

"I didn't help you to be repaid." But even as I said the words, I thought I noticed a guarded look in her eyes. Sothis's wordless confirmation made me desperately wrack my brain for something. If she thought there had to be an exchange, then for her mental comfort, I should think of something. Right? "Oh, but I do remember you inviting me to town."

"Oh, yes! I'd asked you before the mock battle!" Her expression brightened immediately. The change was startling, truthfully. "You'll come with me now?"

"If you still want to?"

I barely had time to confirm before Dorothea took my arm and dragged me off. I wasn't sure what the fuss was, but Dorothea certainly had fun, so that was enough for me. Even if I did end up playing doll for dress up again. Dorothea insisted I needed to 'accessorize'.

---

["I'm beginning to think I should just hold off sleeping until you wake up again. You haven't slept through the night once!"]

"Sothis, you have access to my memories, so you should know that already," I mumbled, rubbing my eyes. Sleep and exhaustion made them scratchy, but my mind was wide awake after the latest nightmare. Not the least because it was another new one. "I have never simply slept through the night. I've always dreamed of things like this."

["I wish we could complain to whatever gives you dreams to at least stop making you dream of the darkest parts of the past."] Her voice turned gentle as I pushed myself out of bed with a jaw-popping yawn. ["It's not fair for you to always dream of blood and death and… whatever that last one was."]

"Torture." I had no other word for it. "It was torture."

Every time I blinked my eyes, I saw the dream again. Children chained down on blood encrusted stone, screaming and sobbing as figures in cloaks cut them open with dulled blades to stick needles inside. Flaying them alive and then sewing them back together again. Dunking them in boiling water just to make the process 'easier' and ripping the skin back in large chunks. Watching as some laughed themselves to madness as their brain tried to process the pain. Cursing when they began to shiver from the lack of skin and 'mess up' the cuts. Stabbing them when it looked like they might fall unconscious during the process.

The worst part of all of it? The cloaked figures jotted down notes, like it was some sort of experiment. Experiments on living, breathing children… who were thrown to the side with the more typical waste when they died. Left to rot and be devoured by rats and other pests, while they continued with their torture with the ones still alive…

["I am grateful you were an observer as you normally are in your dreams, even if it was painful to watch helplessly."] While I struggled to calm down, I sensed Sothis stroking my hair. I even sensed her running her fingers through it. ["I can't decide if it was better or worse that the children were so dirty and the room so dark that you couldn't see the children's features."]

"I can't either," I whispered, hugging myself when I began shivering. It had been so dark. I hated the dark. I always had. The idea of being tortured like that, dying like that, all in darkness? I… I…

I had to run to the bathroom to throw up. The thought and 'seeing' so many dying just like that… it was too much for my stomach. Far too much. I was grateful the monastery had invested in the newer indoor plumbing at some point. It made cleaning up much, much easier. And made it easier to rinse my mouth to try and get rid of the sour taste.

["You need some fresh air."] Sothis made sure to say the words in a tone that brooked no argument, though she waited until I had nibbled on some of the snacks I kept. I wanted more of the sour taste gone. ["Why not walk the halls of the dorms? You might need to know where everyone's rooms are at some point."]

"Must I?" I sighed, already hunting for those sleeping pants I'd stolen from Azrael. I didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable in case they were awake. Though I did quickly 'reach' for Azrael to make sure he wasn't awake. Thankfully, he was fast asleep in dreamland. "Let me find a piece of ginger first. I'm sure I have some."

["Of course."]

It took a little longer to find ginger than I thought it would, reminding me that I needed to keep a plentiful stock. But that was for another day. As it was, Sothis continued urging me to take a walk and, so, I stepped out and scaled the wall up to the second floor. Yes, there were stairs, but the stairs were over near the greenhouse. Much easier to simply climb. However, I noticed something very quickly while walking down the hall. There were no names on the doors. Or even by the doors. Just a hall of closed doors, and my quiet footsteps creaking across the wooden hallway. I supposed everyone just knew their rooms by habit. But that didn't exactly help me learn where everyone was.

["I can only hope you don't have to find a specific person."] Sothis was very unamused by the lack of nameplates. ["Quite a few of the noble children are heirs. What if there is an emergency message from their homes?"] I had no idea. I just was chained here under the guise of working. ["Hmm? What's that sound?"] I had to stop in order to hear what she was talking about. But then...

"Ugh…" A groan. A somewhat loud groan. Not loud enough to wake anyone, but too loud to not notice if you already were awake. "Agh…" It sounded like someone in pain. "Fath… save…" And that there sounded like Edelgard.

["I quite agree."] Just for a flicker, I thought I saw Sothis hovering next to me. ["We should check in on her. It must be quite the nightmare."] Nodding, I tiptoed towards the sound and knocked on the door (fourth on the right from the staircase) to Edelgard's room. ["That's too quiet of a knock. I don't think-"]

"Huh? Who's there?! If you...! Ack!" There was a loud thud. She must've flailed and fallen out of her bed. "Ow… what in the world…?"

"Edelgard?" I called softly through the door. I knocked again, mostly to help her put pieces together. I knew well how badly a nightmare could disorient you. "Are you okay?"

"Professor?" There was some movement behind the door, followed by a pause. Then it opened slightly, so that Edelgard could peer out warily. Only when she visually confirmed it was me that she opened the door fully. "What are you doing here?" she asked, brushing some hair behind her ear. "The hour is quite late…"

"I woke up from a nightmare and thought I'd see who might be skipping curfew." I wasn't the best at telling jokes, but I figured some lightheartedness might be needed. "I'm sorry that I gave you such a fright. I heard you talking in your sleep." Edelgard didn't reply, but I did see her face redden in the limited light. "Would you like some tea?"

"Pardon?"

"There's a tea I drink to help me go to sleep after a nightmare. Would you like a cup as well?"

"I…" She hesitated, leaning forward to try and discern something. After a moment, she nodded. "Yes, I think I would like that."

She ducked back into her room briefly to grab a robe to wear over her nightgown, and then followed me down the hall and down the stairs. I certainly couldn't climb down, after all. I had no idea how good of a climber she was, and this was safer. Especially since she was a little unsteady on her feet still from the nightmare. She almost slipped on the staircase down. But she caught herself on the railing, and I made sure to stay within arm's reach in case she needed to use me as a balance. All the while, though, we kept silent. I had a feeling she was evaluating me, even more so than usual. But I pretended to not notice and just helped her into my room and into a chair at the table. Once I was sure she was settled, I fetched my pot and started making the tea.

"Based on the groaning, it sounded as if your nightmare was painful," I whispered, as I worked. I absently noted that I'd have to go herb-gathering soon. I was running low on most of my teas, at least the ones that hadn't been bought in the market. "This'll help you fall fast asleep."

"That so?" Edelgard asked, watching me prepare the tea. I thought she might be smiling. "I'm afraid I must ask why you don't drink it before bed every night. Or do you?"

"If I say that I do, then you won't believe me when I say this will help." Though, I did. Especially nowadays since I stayed up until Flayn came by for tea. It didn't stop my dreams, though. For… whatever reason.

["I think it's because you see the past. That is power. While easier to describe them as nightmares, it's more like you reading a book. Like that 'horror' book Miriam said your mother read."] I had to do my best to not react when Sothis spoke all of a sudden. ["For whatever reason, it insists on activating, even when you should be too tired to do anything, including dream. I'm not sure why. Maybe the answer is in my lost memories?"] For some reason, I thought Sothis sounded guilty. ["After all, I can't help but wonder if my presence is why. We are connected, after all."] Perhaps, but that didn't matter. I'd dealt with it this long. I'd just keep dealing with it.

"Ha… I can't remember the last time someone spoiled me like this," Edelgard murmured. She was still watching me, but nothing hinted she was aware of the gremlin in my heart. "Normally I just take a walk or something."

"I take it you've had these nightmares for a while then," I replied, mostly to keep conversation. It seemed polite, particularly since I was busy with the tea.

"Yes, I've had the nightmares ever since I was a child." Sothis grumbled something about her still being a child. "Stupid, pointless dreams I can't control. It's terribly frustrating." She sighed and, after a moment, rested her arms on the table, and her head on her arms. "They are worthless dreams of the past… from a time before I realized who I was destined to become."

"You can learn much from the past, though I certainly understand your frustration." I focused on the tea, mostly to ignore Sothis's continued grumbling. "Here." I set the teacup down in front of her and sat down. Edelgard pushed herself back up to sit properly and picked up the cup. "Careful, it's still hot."

"Of course it is." She frowned slightly. "You just poured it."

"There's been a few overeager drinkers."

"Ah, I suppose so. It does smell wonderful." She wrapped her other hand around the cup, letting herself just soak up the warmth. "Are you going to ask?"

"If you want someone to listen, Edelgard, I will be glad to. But you'll notice I am in no hurry to talk of my own nightmares." I shook my head, smiling faintly. "There is no reason to force yourself. It's not my business, unless you choose."

"True." She stared at me for a long moment before looking down, quietly murmuring something. I thought I heard something about 'trust'. But I didn't ask, and instead waited for her to look at me again and tell me whatever she felt comfortable telling me. "I dream of my siblings. Klaus paralyzed and helpless, but still holding my hand to whisper white lies of how everything will be okay. Isolde crying for help that never came, pleading to the apathetic goddess to at least spare the rest of us. Liesl babbling words without meaning…" She fell silent, and I simply sipped my tea. Waiting for her. "I once had ten siblings."

"So I have heard. And I've heard the official stories of their deaths. As well as the numerous rumors." 'Accidents' and 'illnesses'... more likely a terrifying series of assassinations, especially given Edelgard's reaction. Poison was my guess for the first. Likely armed assault for the second. The last one she mentioned might've just shattered from trauma.

"Yes…" She smiled bitterly. "A dark time that only grew darker. I believe I told you about how I got the dagger I wear?" I nodded to confirm. "Sometimes, I wonder why I alone survived. Strength? Luck? I'm not sure. But I remember, in that darkness, clinging to the memories of that year, faint as they were. They were my glitter of light. So, perhaps having that light let me…" She shooked her head abruptly. "Regardless, I dream of their deaths. I suppose it is a reminder to never forget, and to never allow anything like it to happen again. I am the one who bears the future of the Empire. No matter what I must do, I…" She paused all of a sudden and, surprisingly, laughed bitterly. "I shared more than I intended. Perhaps there is something in the air tonight. Or perhaps it is because I can't read you well. I can't read judgement from you."

"Why would I judge someone for their past?" That just baffled me. "It is not your past that I know. It is your present self, the one sitting in front of me now." Maybe it was because of Dad and the secrets he had kept, but neither Azrael nor I felt like someone's past was necessary to truly know a person. Their past was important, but also their business. "A person's past shapes them, of course. But it doesn't define a person. That is the choices they make in the present, and the future for which they strive for." I wouldn't say there weren't things I deemed 'unforgivable', but considering what all I've done… all the blood on my hands… well, a monster was the last sort of person to be 'judging' anyone. "That's all."

"Ha… you might be the first person I have ever heard speak that way." Still, she smiled. And it might've been the candlelight, but I thought she blushed a little. "Perhaps that attitude is why you're so easy to talk to, then. Well, that and you saved me despite not knowing who I was. I'm not used to that."

"I didn't really do much. I just didn't want you hurt." Besides, it was only thanks to Sothis that it had worked at all. But of course, I couldn't say that. So, I was a little stuck on how to continue. Thankfully, though, someone knocked on the door. "Come in?" Even if I was terribly confused as to who else would be awake at this hour.

"Hello, hello!" Claude greeted as he opened the door. He dragged an exasperated Dimitri behind him, for some reason. "Well, lookie here! Seems like our princess couldn't sleep either!" Claude grinned, and Edelgard regarded them curiously. "I've got thoughts bouncing in my head, and his kingliness here apparently thought this hour was great for training since I caught him on my way down."

"That explains why you're awake, but not why you're here," Edelgard pointed out. She frowned a little. "I shouldn't need to tell you the implications of coming to a lady's room at night."

"Hey, you can blame Dimitri on this one. He mentioned that our darling professor might be awake."

"Dimitri!" Edelgard scowled and Dimitri raised his hands in surrender. "Really?"

"I just remembered her inviting me to tea," Dimitri sighed. I had a feeling this night hadn't gone anywhere near how he expected. "And made the mistake of thinking aloud about it since Claude refused to let me go. I hadn't actually planned on coming here."

"Mmm… well, that does sound like you," Edelgard conceded. She turned her scowl to Claude, who smirked like the cat who caught the canary, before returning her attention to Dimitri. "Still, you can't tell me you're not aware of what people might think. Why were you even out of your room?"

"Because Sylvain has a guest."

"Why would that… oh." Edelgard blushed, though she tried to hide it by drinking her tea. It didn't work. "Is his other neighbor out and about for the same reason?"

"Sylvain is on the end of the hall, so I'm his only neighbor." There was a loud noise above our heads. It sounded like furniture moving. "Though, he is right above us."

"So, let's chat to avoid any awkward sounds!" Claude half-joked. I had a feeling he was also a little serious. "With our delightful teacher who hopefully wasn't up working prior to the princess showing up."

"No, I never sleep through the night, due to nightmares," I reassured. I got the other two cups and beckoned them to sit down. "Here, have some tea."

"Wow, I didn't even have to wheedle and needle my way into that invite! This tea is great, whatever it is! Really helped me get to sleep last time." He plopped down in one of the chairs, still grinning. "Oh, hey, you're wearing pants." Edelgard promptly choked on her tea. Dimitri blushed and nearly missed the chair when trying to sit. He just barely caught himself in time, and Edelgard still had to steady him. "Last time, you just wore the shirt."

"I learned that many consider it unusual, and uncomfortable to see someone like that, so I stole some of Azrael's." I set the tea down and poured some for Claude and Dimitri. And refilled Edelgard's and mine. "You didn't comment on it, though."

"You have such lovely legs, though!" Claude actually drained the cup immediately, smiling softly. "This really is good."

"I'm glad you like." I refilled his cup and then sat down again. Though I waited a moment to speak to see if Edelgard or Dimitri would drink just as quickly. Neither seemed to be in a hurry, though. "You really are strange, flattering me so much, though. There must be some ulterior motive."

"Well, while I speak the complete and utter truth at all times…" Claude paused for effect, and it worked because both Edelgard and Dimitri had to set down their own tea to keep from accidentally spitting it out with their laughter. "I was hoping for the excuse to conveniently ask about your scars. Like how you got them and all."

"Really?" I admired curiosity. I truly did. But either he forgot I was a mercenary, or he wanted to ask for reasons that had nothing to do with the scars themselves. Either way, it would probably be good to remind him that sometimes, questions only led to answers you didn't want. At all. It was one thing to comment on the amount of scars I had. It was another to ask how I got them. "Well, the deeper ones are from when I was younger and not as skilled." I pushed back my sleeve and pointed to one that was very noticeable on my lower arm. "Like this one, though I don't remember what I'd done." I had probably misjudged a parry and really should've lost the arm entirely. But that healing of mine… "Some are also because something healed inside the wound and I had to cut it out."

"Like an arrow or something? That's a pretty common healer mistake, isn't it?" Claude frowned, nursing his tea as he thought. Edelgard frowned for different reasons, while Dimitri worriedly looked at me. I made sure to catch his eye and smile slightly. I still had my plan, and there was just a little more to go. "Darn, I was hoping for a funny story."

"Few truly remember how they got their battle scars unless it was particularly significant. Most of my scars were simply shallow injuries I unintentionally made worse since I couldn't stop fighting at the time. Those are the fainter ones." And some scars were lingering reminders of the rocks and beatings I received as a child from the strangers who saw me for the monster I was. Who saw me as demon, ghost, fey… and blamed me for their recent suffering. "If you're looking for stories though, Claude, I'd advise against asking Azrael the same question."

"Will he get snarly again?"

"He will tell you, as best as he is able, how he got each one. He'll also tell you of the battles, in detail." Azrael always remembered them better than I did. "Now, if you want to know what it's like to have someone's intestines wrapped around your throat while someone else tries to strangle you with them, feel free to ask him."

"...Wait, what?" Claude stared for a moment before looking at Dimitri and Edelgard. Neither met his gaze. "That… that was a joke, right? Right?"

"Why would someone joke about that?" I supposed there were some with a morbid sense of humor? "That one didn't nearly kill him, like the other attempt someone made at strangling him. That person took a decapitated head and used the hair as a garrote. The skull had been too smashed in by a mace to be used as a bludgeoning, though I've seen that too."

"...You can be as blunt as Azrael when you want to be, huh?"

"We were raised by the same person. It is only natural that we share similarities. And, believe me, Dad would be just as blunt if you asked him." Assuming, of course, he didn't make the person feel like a fool for asking in the first place. "People should be allowed their secrets. You don't need to know everything about a person to know who they are in the present." I smiled slightly and sipped my tea. "Dad has many, many secrets, but it doesn't change the fact that he is the best father I could have ever been blessed with. Nor does it change how I love him very, very much."

"Finally, we've turned the conversation to something appropriate for a tea party," Edelgard sighed, scowling a little at Claude. Claude raised his hands in surrender, silently acknowledging that he was completely at fault. "Next time you want to ask questions, Claude, maybe answer a few people have for you instead."

"But that's for another time," Dimitri quickly added, probably to head off any actual attempt to do so. A good thing too, as I was a little annoyed by now. "Professor, since we're bothering you at this hour, did you have any questions for us?"

"Ah, yes, we'd be glad to help you in any way we can." Edelgard's annoyance disappeared for a smile when she looked to me. "I know we can be a handful."

"Hmm… actually, there is something I've been curious about," I began after a moment. Probably best to simply keep topics in safer waters. "There's twenty-four of you. How did you all divide up for, say, practicing in the training grounds?"

Dimitri and Edelgard were both very quick to explain, barely letting Claude say anything at all. Probably out of worry of what he'd actually say. Still, the answers were helpful, especially with planning. Even if Sothis grumbled the entire time about me working too much.

---

Something I discovered about the ability to have things is that it was surprisingly easy to run out of room. Or, at least, superficially run out of room. I wouldn't have thought I had that much, but between the books and flowers and new clothes and accessories… I went from only having the absolute basics (with a couple of luxuries like my books and perfumes) to having far too many things for me to know what to do with. I hadn't even realized Rhea paid me well until I saw how much I suddenly had! ...Though, admittedly, a good portion of this was paid for by Dad. So, it was more of a showing of how he was taking advantage of the whirlwind of events to spoil me silly without my protesting.

"Hey, Professor!" Hilda's voice heralded her appearance shortly before the knock on the door. And the door opening before I could say anything. "Sorry to bother and all, but do you mind if I look at my lesson plan?" she asked, smiling sweetly. "I'm curious!"

"Sure, one second," I replied, setting a stack of books down in a random spot. Then I went to my desk and pulled out the plan. "Here."

"Wow, you found that quick!" She looked over the paper with narrowed eyes, and I went back to… er… trying to find places for things. "Hmm…" Hilda tapped her cheek before beaming at me. "Say, Professor?"

"Yes?"

"Do I really have to have so many lessons? I mean; look at this noodle arms!" She held out her arms, and I was immediately skeptical because… sure, she was lean, but she was definitely toned and had a lot of muscle. I was certain of it. "Besides, wouldn't it weaken morale if I were killed? Whereas by cheering from the sidelines, I can better support everyone!" She grinned and winked. I felt ill, remembering the crowd that had watched the mock-battle. This wasn't… battles were no… "It'll improve the boys' morale I'm sure. Well, the ones who like girls. And the girls who like girls. So-"

"The only 'support' role on a battlefield is 'healer' and, even then, healers must know how to fight in case they are against someone who is willing to sneak around and destroy an army's camp." A flicker of one of the dreams came to mind. What I wanted more than anything was for no one to experience such things again. Impossible, I knew. Yet, I couldn't help but long for it anyway. "There is strategy and logistics, but more often than not, they're at least overlooking the battlefield. And since it's a very common tactic to 'smash the head and watch the rest implode', those in that position have to be even better at fighting than their allies who fight directly on the field."

"Huh?" Hilda's cheer and playfulness disappeared, dropping like a mask. "That's a little…"

"If you are talking 'support' as in maintaining the camps and keeping track of supplies…" I quickly looked through my books, found the one I wanted, and held it out to her. Though I almost dropped it because of how heavy it was. "This is perhaps a tenth of what you'd need to know. Good place to start."

"Er…" She didn't take it. I'd guessed she wouldn't. "I…"

"I'm being a little mean, sorry. It's probably closer to a ninth." I looked at her, hoping that I at least didn't come off as condescending. "The point I was trying to make is that once you are involved with the battlefield, there is no such thing as simply 'cheering from the sidelines'. Not like the knights did during the mock-battle. There's a thousand and one things that have to be done on a daily basis, and no matter your role, people will be depending on you to perform your duties."

"That's…" For a split second, she looked frightened. Then guilty. Then… something else entirely, like she was feeling too many things at once and they melded into a mess. Like how combining different colored paints would just lead to a brown or gray color. "I…" And whatever she felt, it made it difficult for her to parse her feelings. Still, I didn't know what else to say, so I just waited. And the awkward silence stretched on and on and on...

"Professor?" A crisp knock eventually broke the silence and the door opened to reveal Lysithea. "Oh, you're busy," she noted, seeing Hilda with me. And apparently not noticing the awkward silence. "I can come back-"

"Actually, Lysithea, I want your opinion on these sweets I have," I very quickly made up. It was the first thing I thought of, and Lysithea was instantly interested. "You did mention last time that tea should have sweets."

"I did…" She mentally debated for a moment before coming in and sitting at the table. "Am I now the authority on sweets?"

"I figured you had good taste, if you'll pardon the minor pun." I went to the shelf where my teapot and cups were and began mixing up tea. Though I made sure to set out some of the candy and other sweets first.

Surprisingly, Hilda didn't seize the easy excuse to escape. Instead, she headed to my vanity, leaning slightly so that her hands rested on her knees while she peered at the assortment of items scattered about. "Professor, is that perfume?" she asked after a moment, pointing to my little collection. The vials were the only thing orderly on the vanity. Azrael would have a fit if he saw how messy things were. "I'm surprised. There's nobles who don't know about it. And there's so many accessories!"

"Dorothea took me shopping," I explained absently, more focused on the tea. Though, I did guiltily look at how unorganized things were. "I'm… attempting to organize things."

"Maybe you can bundle up the flowers a bit more for room?" She gathered a couple of the vases and began arranging the flowers, careful to coordinate the colors and to make sure all of them were easily seen. She smiled softly as she worked, and it was a different sort of smile than I'd seen her wear before. Soft and a little shy. "Why so many flowers?"

"Dad. Azrael." I think I'd gotten a bouquet a day from them. "I like flowers. I always have. I learned how to climb trees solely to grab the pretty flowers in the highest branches." Finished with the tea, I brought the pot over to the table along with three cups. And, to my amusement, I saw Lysithea happily munching on the candies, even if she did her best to hide it. "I take it that the sweets are good."

"They are," Lysithea confirmed, covering her mouth to hide the crumbs stuck to her cheeks. I thought she might be a little embarrassed. "Incredibly so. Particularly these cookies."

"Mercedes made them," I told her, pouring her some tea. I pretended to not notice her using her sleeve to wipe her mouth. It wasn't like I had napkins or anything. "After I ate that whole cake she made me two days ago."

"You ate a whole cake?" Lysithea gaped before laughing. "Well, you did eat a lot after the mock-battle."

"I'm afraid both Azrael and I have big appetites and sweet tooths that are even larger." Dad once joked that people could bribe us with sugar and we'd take it happily. Azrael would joke back that Dad had done that to get him to behave in the past. "What did you want to talk to me about, by the way?" After all, Hilda looked very busy.

"Oh! Right!" Lysithea straightened in her chair and picked up her teacup to sip a little. "This is so good… it goes wonderfully with the sweets…" She paused for a moment and then focused on me like she hadn't been distracted. I played along. "I wanted to ask about my lessons again. Specifically, what spells will I be learning?"

"...Am I supposed to choose that for you?" That made no sense to me. Everyone had a natural inclination towards specific spells, with some able to learn and utilize many and others only a little. Plus, there were those who didn't want to use certain spells for personal reasons. I remembered a mercenary mage who didn't cast fire spells at all because they were too afraid of fire to properly concentrate on the pattern. I knew of another who didn't use thunder spells because they hated the static feeling that crawled over their skin. "I figured that you all would choose your own. With a couple of exceptions."

"Really?" Her expression lit up. "What exceptions?"

"Well, I'm teaching everyone the theory." I shrugged. "And I'm making everyone learn a basic heal spell."

"Even those who aren't magically inclined?"

"You'd be surprised what saves you on the field. There's a reason why mercenaries often go into battle with a basic first aid kit strapped to their belt. The body is remarkable at healing and adapting, and if you can buy it the time it needs, then you will see many miracles." I debated a moment before nodding to myself. "I once treated a young mercenary who had been skewered through the chest. I didn't know how to heal him since it was a lung wound, but I was able to patch him up well enough for him to survive the trip back to the infirmary, where the healers there did." I… ah… wouldn't mention I'd been eleven at the time. "There's many stories like that. So, yes, all of you are learning the 'heal' spell. Basic first aid, as well."

"Huh." Lysithea drank more of her tea, thinking. "I imagine you're have people who complain."

"Perhaps, but in my opinion, my job isn't just to help you towards your goals, but to give you the best chance of surviving to reach those goals." And that meant spell theory (to know if you had enough time to disrupt a pattern or not) and healing with first aid skills. "I might have any who wish to specialize in swords learn a Reason spell or two, since swords don't have anything like javelins that are easily thrown."

"Can't swords be thrown? I mean; anything can, really."

"Swords aren't aerodynamically designed. If you manage to throw one and hit the target, it's a miracle." I knew from experience. I'd been curious. "Now, granted, you might be able to distract an enemy that way. Flying by them or hitting them with the hilt or something. But you run a very big risk of just giving your opponent your weapon. And that's assuming your enemy is even within throwing distance. They can't fly far. Spells have more range." That reminded me, though. I needed to make sure the archers had close combat lessons. Bows were more difficult to use in close quarters. "Ah, we got off topic. I want you to pick your own. Discuss it with the other two main-mages, Dorothea and Annette as well. I think some spells can interact with each other if cast too closely together."

"Really?" And Lysithea was sparkly-eyed. "I never heard that before!"

"It's just something I remember hearing out on a job." Though, I thought I remembered Dad agreeing with whoever it was. "I'll confirm it with Hanneman, though. You three might also just want to specialize with different magic to give a wide coverage for the cohort." Lysithea nodded, almost bouncing in her chair. I wasn't sure what got her so excited, but it was nice to see. "So, did you have a few ideas of what you wanted to learn or-"

"Wow, Profesor, you have a lot of perfumes," Hilda commented, sharply changing the subject. I looked to see that she had artfully arranged some of the flowers into one container, freeing up four others and quite a bit of space. She'd set it on the vanity and was now opening and smelling the perfumes. "Wow, this is so good…"

"Yes, I own quite a few," I admitted, feeling sheepish. I did always feel a little bad about it, but Dad happily bought them for me. Each time I tried to hide that I was low, he'd somehow discover it anyway. "It's my one luxury. ...Well, second luxury." I looked guiltily at the books scattered all over the place. Maybe I should get Azrael to clean and organize for me. "I've always been a reader. Regardless, do you want to try some? The perfume, I mean."

"Hmm? Not today. I'm already wearing some. But I might come by in the morning!" Hilda opened up another one and sighed happily at it. "These are all so good! You've got very good taste."

"Truthfully, most are gifts from Dad. My first bottle was from him, actually." It had been shortly after that first battle. The smell of blood clung to me like a shroud, burrowing into my skin like maggots. I was constantly throwing up because of the smell. Dad had bought me the perfume to see if that would mask it enough for me to actually keep things down. "Though, I think the one you're holding is a mix Rebecca made me."

"Rebecca?"

"Malcolm's sister." Which… meant nothing because she didn't know Malcolm. "Ah, I'm sorry. She's from Remire. She gave it to me as thanks since I helped Malcolm do chores around the house after…" After her husband, Charles, died.

I remembered that day in horrible detail. It had been a simple hunt, but then it… hadn't. One second, he had been hunting deer with Dad, Azrael, and a few others. The next? A terrifyingly large wolf had struck, one of the 'magic beasts' that were twisted and corrupted into monsters, and bit Charles into mangled halves. Dad had killed the beast, but Charles had been dead as soon as the wolf had gotten him. Not that Azrael hadn't tried to save him anyway. He had scars on his arms and back from freeing Charles's body from the wolf's maw, and he had nearly burned himself out trying to heal him. It was one of the few things Azrael actually blamed himself for, because he hadn't been paying attention to the wind.

He had 'told' me what had happened on the way back, so I had made sure to be with Rebecca when the news, and body, returned. And I had actually stayed in the house with her and Malcolm, because she had been seven months pregnant and Malcolm was her only family. Their parents had died from an illness years ago. So, I had helped where I could, along with Madeline (who also stayed in the house). Even stayed a month after baby Louisa was born, so that Rebecca could recover.

The perfume had been more than just 'thanks', truthfully. It had also been her way of saying that she would be okay. So, I used it very sparingly, wanting to hold onto it as long as I could.

"Professor, are you daydreaming?" Hilda's teasing voice jolted me out of the memory. "Bit hard to tell, since your face is so blank, but you did kind of trail off," she continued teasing, laughing. She had, at some point, set Rebecca's perfume back on the vanity to smell the others. "So?"

"I was just… remembering," I explained softly, shaking my head. Sadly, no matter how much you might long to change things, the past was the past. All I could do was remember and carry that weight with me. Though, I did worry about how everyone in Remire was doing. I mean… there were those bandits… had anyone gone to patrol the area or anything? Were there enough people to do that?

A loud yelp, followed by a hard thud and the scattering of papers, startled me from my spiraling thoughts before Sothis could. Confused, I opened the door to find Ignatz had fallen, face first, right in front of my door. Must've slipped on the step. Without a word, I helped him sit up and began gathering the papers, while Lysithea scolded Ignatz about something (maybe his shoes?) and Hilda watched from the door. I should've been reassuring Ignatz, and making sure he was okay, but my attention was… elsewhere. Well, not really 'elsewhere'. It was on the papers in my hands. After all, they were filled with beautiful sketches and drawings. Lifelike and beautiful, even the most 'basic' ones. Hell, there were even a couple of paintings! Watercolors, and so beautiful that I wanted to immediately pin it to my wall. Or rush it to Azrael so that he could put it up alongside the paintings Dad bought him.

"Ack! S-sorry, Professor!" Ignatz stammered, pulling the papers from me. He stood up and tucked them against his chest before bowing. I noticed HIlda and Lysithea had disappeared back into my room. "I promise it's just a hobby. You know… a way to relax? It won't interfere with my studies or-"

"We should get you lessons," I interrupted. This was… an interesting reaction, but I couldn't think of how to respond. All I could think of were those beautiful pictures. "I'm sure there's someone around here who can teach you more."

"What?" Ignatz stared at me for a very long moment. For a second, I wondered if I'd grown a tail or something. Or maybe Sothis had appeared behind me or whatever. "But, I'm training to be a knight? My studies are paramount and… uh…"

"Is there a rule that you can't both fight and draw?" Now I was just confused. "Azrael draws."

"He does?"

"Yep." Honestly, the arts were one of the few things that could make Azrael chipper. That's why Dad made sure to buy him paintings to hang up in his room. "Besides, like you mentioned, it's relaxing for some." Not me. I could barely manage squiggles. "Having a way to relieve stress is very important. There's a lot of work and responsibility involved with knighthood, and even just fighting."

"But you said lessons." Oh, was that what he was stuck on? "I…"

"Ah, yes, I suppose time management might be an issue for that. Though, I can think of a few practical reasons to justify it."

"You can?"

"Of course. First one is 'map-making'. People often live and die by how accurate a map is of the area." Plus, I had noticed that among the mercenaries, those who could draw always seemed to be the ones who picked out the traps in an area. Something about 'the lines aren't right' or 'the colors were off'. "Then… well…" Very gently, I plucked one of the papers from his grasp, which showed figures in various stances. Like he'd been sketching some people on the training grounds. "Drawings can supplement verbal reports, particularly if you don't know the word for something or you're talking to someone who might know what you mean. Like how Petra gets idioms confused. Plus, sketches like this one? I see them all the time in anatomy books. Illustrations and diagrams to help teach. Not everyone can learn simply by reading or listening, after all."

"Right, Raphael always needed to just do something when we were little…"

"Precisely." Plus, that was good to know. And good to know that the two were childhood friends. "Plus, I imagine it can help with your dexterity and hand-eye coordination. Much like that arrow-twirl I've seen Claude do."

"Wait, that's not him being nonchalant?" Ignatz's eyes were wide. "Really?"

"It's very difficult to do with such precision. I doubt I could do so." I shrugged. "Back to the original topic, however. Drawing is a skill like any other. You choose how to apply it to your life, same as any other."

"Oh." Ignatz looked down and bit his lip. Thinking about something. "That's…" Oh, damn it. I must've overwhelmed him. I was intimidating as is.

"Ignatz, you don't have to decide now." I rested my hand on his head and gently stroked his hair, careful to not bump his glasses with my arm or elbow. That would be my luck. "I do want you do consider it, though. And, regardless, those are very good. I fear Azrael might steal you to babble art things if he sees them." I slipped behind him and nudged him into my room. Lysithea was back at the table, drinking and eating, while Hilda was arranging more flowers for me. "For now, how about you join us for some tea? That was a pretty hard tumble you took." I hoped I wasn't being an annoying busybody. I probably was. An annoying monster… but he really was skilled. I didn't want him to feel ashamed for that.

"Hey, Hilda?" I whispered, walking over to her as soon as Ignatz was settled in a chair. "You should sit down for tea as well." She nodded in agreement, focused on finishing with the flowers. "And if you want to cut some of the lessons, we can discuss it another time." She jerked from surprise, nearly knocking the vase over. She steadied it in time, though, and then looked at me with wide eyes, her mouth open a little like she wanted to say something, but didn't know what. "That lecture had solely been because of the 'cheering from the sidelines' thing. And I do intend to work you hard. Training is what will keep you alive on a battlefield, and I do not want any of you to die." The thought alone made me nauseous, and not just because it would mean I failed them... "But I do not mind keeping some of the lessons back. I also do not mind explaining why I made the plans as I did. Okay?"

"...Thank you, Professor," she whispered after a moment. She smiled softly and returned to the flowers, placing one last one in the container. "There we go. Now, time to be spoiled with sweets and tea!"

"Of course."

---

"Miss Byleth?" a voice called. It was followed by three quick, short knocks on the door. "Are you in here?"

"Just a moment," I replied, finishing up with my notes. So many things to keep track and plan for when it came to my students… could I even do it all? Could they? I had absolutely no idea at all. But I couldn't just sit and think. I had to get the door. "Sorry for the wait." I opened the door and saw the young boy with the scar standing there. "Yes?"

"You've got some visitors, Miss Byleth. At the front gates." And with that, he almost left. Message delivered.

"Excuse me." I waited for him to stop and turn back to me. "What was your name?"

"It's Cyril. Don't got a last name." He frowned. "I'm pretty busy, though, so…"

"I just wanted to thank you, Cyril." I smiled a little, even as I wondered who might be visiting. Certainly no one who would visit just me, and not… "Though, I can hazard a guess that either you got Azrael before me or you're about to hunt for him."

"I need to go find him still. He wasn't in his room. Or, well, anywhere." He scowled, annoyance threading through the words. I let my senses 'loose', hunting for Azrael. "I need to organize the books for Tomas, and clean the windows, so I really need to-"

"He's out at the moment, doing an early morning patrol with a couple of the other Knights." I sensed his confusion at me trying to find him, but I reassured him that all was well. "I'm not sure who he's supposed to report to afterwards, but you'll probably be better off informing them instead."

"Oh." He blinked once. Blinked twice. Then smiled slightly. "Um… thank you. I would've wasted more time if you hadn't told me."

"I figured he might be a little hard to find anyway. He can be as capricious as the wind at times." I finally stepped out of my room and shut the door behind me. "I'll head to the front gates. Thank you again, Cyril."

I left then, jumping down the staircase to save a little bit of time. By now, confusion had given way to simple curiosity. I didn't think there was any danger or anything. Certainly no one was acting like it. But who would be visiting? Maybe there was some sort of mistake? I wasn't sure how, but maybe the visitors wanted Manuela, but their wording implied me? ...Actually, I couldn't really logic how that would work. Then again, I'd seen stranger leaps of logic.

The area by the front gates was as lively as ever. Many people milling about, gossiping and laughing. Knowing it would be absolutely impossible to pick out anyone in such a mess of a crowd, I decided to go to the Gatekeeper who kept watch. He noticed me at once and saluted as soon as I was close. "Greetings, Professor! Nothing to report!" he chirped with a bright smile. Then he paused and coughed awkwardly. "Er… except that you have visitors."

"So I've been told," I replied, a bit amused. I gathered he was used to things being peaceful, if he automatically said 'nothing to report'. "Sorry to bother so early in the morning. Where are they?"

"Just at the bottom of the stairs, Professor." He… attempted to salute again, but since he already was, he tried to play it off. It didn't quite work, but I pretended otherwise. "They have been eagerly awaiting your-"

"Byleth~!" Madeline's cheerful call was the only warning I got before she pounced on me, hugging me tightly and completely uncaring of how the basket in her hand whipped around from the momentum to hit the side of her shoulder (and the back of mine). "Oh, I missed you so much~!" she gushed, pressing her cheek to mine. It still took me a couple of blinks to process she was here. "Everything okay here? Some knights told us in Remire what was going on with you three, but you could have sent a letter to tell us yourself."

"Madeline, what are you doing here?" I asked, flabberghasted. Not helped by Sothis's laughter in the back of my head. "You didn't walk all the way here alone, did you? There were bandits recently."

"Yes, I completely forgot about them." She rolled her eyes and sulked at me. I barely saw it since she continued hugging me. "I came to visit, of course! Why else would I hike all the way here? You know I'm not that fond of exercise."

"Well, no, you're not." She always said she got enough doing chores. "Seriously, did you come here alone?"

"Of course not. I had two squires-to-be as my lovely escorts." Madeline finally let go of me and stepped out of the way. Just so that Richard and Sera could tackle me with their own hugs. "I promise we also had some Knights of Seiros. They've been patrolling Remire both to make sure the area remains safe and to gather information on those bandits. Think you might know one of them. Thunder Catherine?" I couldn't reply because Richard and Sera seemed to be in a contest to who could knock me over first with their hug. "Oh, there she is. Thank you again for the escort, Lady Catherine."

"You don't need to use a title with me," Catherine laughed, joining us. She watched me try to extract myself from the hugs with a grin before turning to Madeline. "And there's no need for thanks either. We were heading back anyway. But what was that about 'squire to be'?"

"Hmm? Oh, did they not say?" Madeline asked, brushing her hair behind her ear, the basket slipping to her elbow. I noticed her normally red hair had more gold to it, hinting that she'd been outside a lot recently. Probably handling the outdoor chores for her mom. "Must've gotten shy or something." She grinned and turned to face me. Who was standing like an idiot because Richard and Sera had switched from hugging me tightly to hiding behind me. "Those two want to be squires."

"Madeline, you don't have to tell!" Richard scolded, frowning. Sera, meanwhile, went red to the roots of her hair, all the more obvious because of how pale her blonde hair was, and hid behind me even more. "Don't be a bully!"

"How am I being a bully?" Madeline scowled now. "Besides, maybe this is payback for the frog you let loose in my house?"

"That was an accident!" Now Richard was blushing, also to the roots of his hair. It was a bit harder to see since he had very dark black hair, the kind that almost looked blue in the light. "I tripped and lost my grip!"

"Why did you even have a frog in the first place?" I asked gently, trying to turn the conversation to something a little safer. And hoping to coax Sera out from behind me. "Is your little brother abed again?"

"Adam is, yeah," Richard confirmed. My heart ached, remembering how much Adam hated being cooped up. But he was born frail, with numerous health problems. It was a miracle he'd even made it to be nine-years-old. "I thought the frog would cheer him up. But it hopped into Madeline's house when I lost it and… er…"

"Messed up my clean laundry," Madeline grumbled. She groaned and rolled her eyes, but went back to smiles when she returned her attention to Catherine. "But yes, that's what I meant. Sorry for the nonsequitur."

"No, I adore eavesdropping on fun stories," Catherine reassured, still grinning. But there was definitely a seriousness to her demeanor when she focused on Richard. And what bits of Sera she could see. "However, you do know that knighthood isn't all sunshine and rainbows, right? Nothing like the stories?"

"We know," Richard confirmed. Catherine raised a brow, skeptical. "Byleth taught us, and she made sure we knew. So did Azrael and Sir Jeralt. I mean…" Richard glanced at Sera, who smiled a little at him. "We kind of figured the work is like a steadier form of mercenary work, except more people are willing to not stab you in the back. And they told us about battles, and we've seen the scars they have. We haven't fought-fought or anything, just hunted, but..."

"I see." Catherine glanced at me, and all I could do was smile hesitantly. When they had first asked me for lessons, I had immediately sent them to Dad for stories. I had wanted them to be as prepared as possible for what sort of work they were getting into. "Seems like you had a good teacher."

"Byleth is the best!" Richard beamed up at me, and I stroked his hair, amused by the compliment. "She's taught us some weapons and tactics and other stuff."

"Better than many future squires, to be sure." Catherine smiled, laughing softly. "Well, how about this? Why don't I take you for a tour around the knights' area here?"

"Really?" Richard's eyes went so wide, that you could almost call them apples. If, you know, they weren't light brown, much lighter than Madeline and Sera's own brown eyes. "That sounds amazing!" He looked to Madeline immediately, silently asking if it was okay. Madeline immediately smiled and nodded. "Thank you!" Richard took Sera's hand, and the two followed after Catherine, with Catherine explaining things about the monastery as they went.

"Poor Sera is a little overwhelmed," Madeline giggled, her eyes practically sparkling with amusement. She tossed her basket to her other hand and wrapped her free arm around mine to walk in a random direction. She picked the docks, and pond. "Thunder Catherine is one of her inspirations. You should've seen her face when she first realized that Catherine was among the knights patrolling today."

"Ah, so that explains why she was so quiet," I murmured, smiling a little. While I wouldn't call Sera 'talkative' or anything, she normally wasn't shy either. Certainly not so shy that she'd hide that much. "That'll give them a way to spend the time, though. Azrael is out on his own patrol and won't be back until later."

"Oh, so I get you all to myself? Fun~!"

It took a while longer than one would expect to actually make it to my room. Madeline kept getting distracted by everything from the greenhouse to the dining hall to everyone's uniforms. But, eventually, we were able to make our way up all the staircases to my room. I didn't mind how long it took. Time spent with Madeline was always fun, even if it was simply walking.

"So, this is your room, huh?" Madeline asked as soon as we stepped inside. She turned slowly in place, taking it all in, before dropping her basket on the table and rummaging through it. "Perfect! I've got gifts!"

"You do?" I asked, baffled. I closed the door and leaned against it, frowning a little. "Really?"

"Of course!" The first thing she pulled out was a couple pairs of sleeping pants. "Eliza made these for you as thanks for saving her darling little girl."

"I could've sworn she already thanked Azrael and me, many times, for saving Nicole."

"She fretted that she didn't have time to make you something." She folded them neatly and set them on my bed. "Besides, she said that proper folk often get properly offended when you don't act or dress 'proper'. Given how you and Azrael will walk around in your sleeping clothes…"

"Already embarrassed one of my students." I still didn't quite understand the issue, but hey, Madeline practically cackled (no doubt at the mental image), so I'd just keep rolling with it. "I am almost afraid to ask, but how much is in that basket?"

"Oh, this basket is just your things. Azrael got his own basket. One of the knights carried it for me and… er…" Madeline paused before laughing sheepishly. "Kind of abandoned them for you. Whoops."

"Hopefully, they took it to Azrael's room. We can go check?"

"Nah, he wasn't here, so he can go hunting." She winked and I ducked my head to hide my little smile. "There was debates on what to bring Jeralt, because he always manages to wriggle his way out of gifts, but no one could decide. So, he'll probably get a double-basket next time." Next time? ...Wasn't going to ask. "Anyway, yeah, there's a bit. Had to get creative when packing it."

"Why so much?"

"You know how everyone is, and Annabelle said that having some homemade things might help you and Azrael settle in." Madeline became serious for a moment, crouching a little to look me directly in the eyes. "You two are okay, right? Shawn brought up how Jeralt had clearly been hiding…" And Shawn would worry even more than the others. He had actually been a knight to an Adrestian lord years ago, before a battle led to him losing his left leg below the knee. And being abandoned in the wilderness by said lord. Hunters from Remire had found him and brought him back to be treated. Along the way, he and Sofia fell in love and married, having Crystal a year later.

"So far, Azrael and me are fine." I made sure to smile slightly and she breathed a sigh of relief. "No threats or anything that we've noticed. I mean…" I glanced at the closed door before dropping my voice to a whisper. "Pretty sure that we're being used to keep Dad from running off, again, but other than that, and the forced jobs, we're fine. Everyone is very helpful and strangely kind. But not a false strange."

"I'll make sure to reassure everyone then." She smiled warmly, and then pulled out a decorative tapestry thing. And some pins. "By the way, Mother got in a creative mood."

"Did she drown everyone in handmade gifts again?" That was just how Isabella was when she got in one of those moods. Everyone got at least three new things she handmade and there was nothing anyone could do to stop her.

"Not quite." Madeline climbed onto my bed to pin the tapestry thing on the wall right by it. "But she made you extras as thanks for saving my cutie pie of a baby brother when he was born."

"I really didn't do anything, though..." I swore I had told them this a hundred times by now. Maybe even more. "How is Elijah doing?"

"He's just fine~! So sweet and adorable that you could almost eat him up!" She finished pinning and jumped off my bed to inspect it. I found myself entranced when I realized that Chloe had actually sewn a 'scene' in it, a woman with wings sitting among a group of children with flowers all around. This couldn't have been done in just the past week or so; she had to have been working on it for a while. "Mom was going to give this to you for your birthday, but in her creative mood, she finished sooner than expected and she thought it might help the place feel a little more like home. Or, at least help remind you of the people who love you."

"I doubt I could ever forget anyone in Remire." They were the first ones to welcome Azrael and me, after all. Not even just welcome, but treat us as family. And now that I knew how famous Dad had been… I had to wonder if they knew. Knew, and kept his secret too. "I do miss being there."

"You can always come to visit!"

"If I ever get enough free time." Which I somehow doubted. But it was nice to imagine. "It isn't all bad here, though. I've told you about how strange the people are, and I do get to visit Mom's grave and-"

"Oh, Fiona is buried here?" Madeline smiled brightly. "Might I visit? Pay my respects?"

"Of course. Later, we'll go with Azrael. He'll pout if we go without him." Shaking my head, I pushed off the door finally, went to the shelf, and fetched my teapot. "Regardless, Alois still has some of Mom's things. He's been busy with missions, so he hasn't given all of it to Azrael and me yet, but this was her tea set."

"I see she had very good taste." Madeline giggled and unpacked some more things from the basket. "Let's have a sweet tea?"

"With candy. I keep a stock."

"Don't tell me that! You'll have to roll me out of here!"

Madeline and I kept teasing each other the entire afternoon, and when Azrael finally returned, we double-teamed him until Catherine dropped off Richard and Sera. Ah, I had missed her. She was like the sun on a spring day, comforting and warm. She always had been, really. That's why she was the first friend Azrael and I had ever had. And I would forever be grateful to her for it.

---

It occurred to me, at some point, that if I was going to have my students learn how to identify plants, then I probably needed to know what plants actually grew around here. And that if something ever happened and Azrael and I needed to escape, I should know the layout of the area. And I should also check the paths and see which ones were good for beginning riders. All of that meant that one morning, just after dawn I saddled up one of the horses (I think Marianne's Dorte, actually) and went for a ride. With a basket to collect flowers and herbs because this all started by me wanting to gather some, and to see where white roses grew around here. I just managed to bullshit some justifications to make me feel better about putting off work.

["Whatever am I going to do with you?"] Sothis sighed with exasperation as I rode down one of the many paths surrounding the monastery. I let the horse lead, content with looking around, and only stopping when I noticed a useful herb or a pretty flower. I was glad that the commands Dad taught Azrael and me worked with this horse's training. Made sense, but still, I was glad. ["Work, work, work… the only time you remotely played was when that sweet Madeline girl was here."]

"Madeline has a gift for turning even the most boring chores into something fun," I replied softly, a pretty white flower catching my eye in the branches above. I gently urged the horse to stop and dismounted to scurry up the tree and pick a few. Maybe I'd get Azrael to make a few bookmarks with them. We'd need more, considering how many books we now had, and he enjoyed making them. Annabelle had taught him how while she taught me how to cook. "But I have a lot to work to do."

["And that also means taking breaks to make sure you keep doing the work you need to do. I am flabberghasted that you have not yet fainted. Or gotten ill."]

"It's not like I'm fighting five battles in a row. Which I have done."

["Just because you're used to worse doesn't mean you should be!"] Uh oh… she was mad at me. ["You can limp or crawl with a broken leg, but that doesn't mean you're not hurt!"] Well, of course you could. That was often how you managed to get to help in the first place. ["Don't be practical about analogies!"] I almost replied with… something. I knew I had a response on the tip of my tongue.

"Hmm? Ah, good morning to you, Professor!" But Lorenz's call surprised me, mostly because it took me a moment to find him. He and his own horse had been resting in the shadows of a tree nearby. "I see you also decided to greet the dawn with a morning ride," he continued, smiling as he bowed. I just waved, not really sure what to say. I hadn't expected anyone to be out here. That was one reason why I picked this hour to go riding. "It is a perfect way to start the day."

"I take it you ride often, then?" I asked, since clearly this was going to be an actual conversation. I wasn't sure I had the energy for this, but I had to press on anyway. Same as always.

"Of course. I try to ride every morning."

"That so?" If that was the case, maybe I should have Lorenz take riding lessons. When those would happen was definitely a question, but I vaguely remembered Hanneman mentioning that saturdays were 'group activity' days. Though, I could've made that up. "I apologize for disturbing you."

"Nonsense! I was simply having my horse rest before returning and, truth be told, I did want to ask you something." He mounted up with practiced ease, and I tried to remember what his current lesson plan was, since I was sure that was what- "Claude told us fawns that our first mission will be a battle with bandits?" Or he could ask about something else entirely. That worked as well.

"It will most likely be so, yes." I saw no reason to hide it. The worst thing you could be during a battle was 'unprepared'. And the worst way to be unprepared was to be dropped into one unknowingly. If not for the fact that Dad had taught Azrael and me, that first battle would've been our last. It was all such a blur for me that I assumed I was only alive thanks to Azrael keeping an eye on me. He was far more adaptable than I was. "I'm glad he went ahead and warned you of the possibility."

"I'd hoped it was another of his horrendous japes." Lorenz sighed mournfully, shaking his head, and I wondered… I remembered Claude's comments, but I wouldn't have guessed there was animosity between them. Perhaps I should look into that? No one had to get along with everyone, but in a battle, such tensions could mean distractions. And distractions always brought injuries or, worse, death. "But it seems that, for once, he told the truth." Definitely looking into this. But I doubted directly asking either would be a good idea. "I fear for the others."

"Not yourself?"

"I have been tasked with dealing with rebels and minor skirmishes in the past. Such things are common in the Alliance. It was founded on the foundation of independence and freedom, after all. But, sadly, that means many things to many people." He shrugged, and I bit my tongue to keep from saying that I thought it spoke more to greed than anything. "Acheron in particular is a nuisance, but-" Though at the name, I couldn't muffle my groan. "Pardon?"

"We did a job for Acheron not long ago. His face turned very, very purple when Azrael told him…" I trailed off, remembering that entire scenario. "On second thought, I'd better not repeat it."

"Sir Azrael must lack fear to willingly cause such anger in a lord. Minor he may be, Acheron still does hold a key piece of land and has many soldiers under his command." More like Azrael really didn't give a damn and Acheron's posturing had turned to insults. I couldn't blame people from wondering why Azrael hadn't been stabbed by an employer yet. "Still, I suppose it is important for a leader to have such honesty around them. Otherwise, they will be surrounded by sycophants who speak nothing but agreements in the hopes of gaining power." I… did not expect that from him. At all. "Regardless, I have dealt with battle before. It is a noble's duty to keep their people safe, after all. But I'm uncertain of the others, nor do I know a way to assist them."

"I see." My horse danced a bit in place, no doubt bored at just standing around. I let them wander to the edge of the path to nibble at the grass there. "It's always hard to predict how someone will react, no matter how much they mentally prepare. Still, I can think of a way to assist."

"Truly?" Lorenz looked surprised, though he hid it by tugging his horse away from some low-hanging branches. His horse was getting bored too. "What is it?"

"Well, for you in particular, if you do not mind focusing solely on magic for a time, you can provide covering fire." I patted my horse on the neck, a silent apology, before looking to Lorenz again. "That will give you a wider view of the field, and if someone does freeze, you're in a better position to keep them safe. With so many unknowns, the best thing to do is to stay back and consider the big picture." Some practice might help, though… I wondered if I could ask some of the knights to help with that?

"I see." Lorenz frowned, considering it. "Very well. I shall yield to your expertise. You proved your skill many times, after all." I 'proved my skill' two times. Three if he wanted to count the fight with the bandits that he wasn't there for. "For now, though, I think I best return to the stables before my mare decides to be playful."

"I suppose we have been sitting and talking for a while." I had my horse move a little more to the side, to give Lorenz plenty of room. "I'll be riding for a while longer." Though, not too much longer. I really did want Azrael to make bookmarks from these flowers. "Pleasant morning."

"To you as well, Professor."

When Lorenz was out of sight, Sothis groaned. ["How is it that you go for a break, and end up working anyway?!"] I had no idea, but I shrugged it off and just urged my horse forward to continue down the path. ["Honestly, what am I going to do with you?"]

Apparently, complain about my working habits the entire rest of the ride. Because that was exactly what she did.

---

"...What in creation does this even say?" I muttered to myself, frowning over a page of my notes. But I must've written it when half asleep because I'd seen chicken scratch that was more legible. "Sothis, don't you dare say 'I told you so'. I know you want to." Surprisingly, she didn't. Instead, she just radiated smugness and watched me hunt down paper to try and decipher these notes. "Go through my memory and see if you can find what I was thinking, will you?"

["My, that's such an interesting sentence."] Sothis laughed, still smug. But I sensed that she had already been doing just that, before I had even asked. ["I told you that I would help you with the children, remember?"]

"And I am very grateful." I would be even more of a mess without her. "I'm glad you woke up when you did. Wonder why, though."

["A very good question."] Sothis was silent for a long while. ["Perhaps I sensed you would need me. A ripple in the flow of time, echoing back from the future."]

"A ripple?" I began doing my best to re-copy the notes, marking blanks for parts that I just couldn't figure out for the life of me.

["Yes, time flows like a river, and can 'ripple' just like water. That is why there are those who can see the future or the past. Never both, though."] I sensed her hugging me, her cheek resting against my hair. ["I wonder if my future self sent a ripple back. To keep you from a fate most tragic."]

"Like what?" While Fodlan wasn't peaceful by any means, it wasn't as if we were in danger of war breaking out or anything.

["Like you working yourself to death, of course."] And of course she used the conversation to nag me. ["More seriously, I'm not sure. I'll think on it more. Perhaps the answer lies in the memories that elude me."]

"I wonder why you lost your memories."

["Yes, I fear there are many questions. But we can take our time finding the answers. One step at a time. One does not need to see the destination at the end to know that they will reach it."] That… well, I supposed that was true. When we traveled to other cities for jobs, it wasn't like we could see said cities at first. ["Precisely. So… hmm?] Sothis's attention went to the door for some reason. ["Well, well… I believe you have a visitor."]

"I do?" That made me frown. "Since when are you able to-"

"Professor?" Ferdinand's voice was accompanied by a brisk knock on the door. I hated that she'd been right. "Are you in here?"

"Come on in, Ferdinand," I replied, setting the copy to the side. I'd fill in the blanks later. For now, I had to work on what I could, like my ideas for saturday activities for the cohort. "Is something the matter?"

"No, I am not aware of anything." Ferdinand opened the door and stepped in. He waited for me to look up before holding up a bag of tea leaves. "However, I thought you might like this tea. It's a specialty in the Empire."

"Oh?" Well, tea did sound nice at the moment. "Thank you. Here, I'll get the pot."

"Actually, Professor, how about I make it?" He smiled kindly. "I am the one who asked, and you have been working a great deal. Please, take the time to rest."

["He's right, you know."] Thank you, miss gremlin. I did very much need that smugness right now. ["Oh, don't you start calling me that!"]

Still, I didn't know how to refuse, so instead, I nodded and pointed to where I kept my teapot and cups. Ferdinand handled them gently, and he paid a great amount of attention to… well, everything. The temperature of the water, how long the leaves steeped… even how he poured it. I kind of felt bad, feeling it was all wasted on me. But Ferdinand smiled throughout the process, enjoying himself.

"Watching you, I can see why someone might describe making tea as 'elegant'," I complimented, once he was finished and had sat down at the table with me. The tea itself was still a little too warm for me to drink, but the smell was nice enough that I could've honestly let it sit there. It reminded me of flowers. "I'm impressed."

"Thank you, Professor, though tea brewing is simply one of the basics nobles should know," Ferdinand demurred, bowing his head slightly. He sounded a little pompous about it, but I didn't think it was on purpose. "Though, I will admit to liking the process. I find it soothing." He smiled kindly, though his gaze drifted to the papers piled on my desk. "Might I ask what you were working on?"

"Lesson plans, mostly." And how to balance everyone. I didn't have much time left. Classes resumed within the next couple of days. "Though, I fear I've forgotten to ask if there is a specific schedule to the weekdays."

"Truly? I am surprised no one has told you without asking." Well, most were under the impression that I was doing this willingly. Not, you know, have it be a fancy version of a cage so that I could act as Dad's leash. "For our cohort, mornings are spent indoors, where we study topics such as tactics. Afternoons are our allotted time at the training grounds for weaponry practice."

"Is that so?" That sounded simple enough. Still, studying every morning like that seemed like a good way to tire out quickly. "I wonder if anyone would object to everyone sharing stories from their respective homes once a week." That could help with them bonding and understanding each other, which was very important for cooperation skills.

"Perhaps another concert like what we did earlier this week? A great many of us enjoyed that."

"Yes, that could be fun." The thought of cooperation skills reminded me of something Edelgard had said, about how Ferdinand constantly challenged her. If he focused on something like that in battle instead of the enemy, then… "Ferdinand?"

"Yes?"

"Why do you compete so much with Edelgard?"

"Hmm? Well, it is because I admire her skills and I wish to prove myself." He sipped his tea, as if what he spoke of was the most obvious thing in the world. "She is the only one who could possibly give someone like me a challenge. So, I-"

"That doesn't make sense to me." It was rude to interrupt. I knew that. But I felt like he was speaking nonsense. "You are you. You have skills and talents Edelgard doesn't have, just as she has some that you do not. That is the nature of being an individual." Dad had always stressed that, when Azrael and I were growing up. Granted, it was probably to make sure Azrael and I grew into our own selves instead of simply being 'two halves of a whole abomination'. But that just made this more confusing. "I do not see why you must constantly compete with her."

"That is…" He frowned, studying my expression. I doubted he read anything in it. "Do you and Azrael not compete? You are siblings."

"Of course not. We are two completely different people." Even if we could sense each other's thoughts and feelings, we were still our own selves.

"You've never wished to be better than him at something?" He frowned more, eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. "Like, be the better swordsman?"

"No, not at all." Was it really that strange? Dimitri had been surprised as well. And I almost asked more, to try and get some sort of clarification, but Sothis stopped me. She stopped me, and I sensed that she had noticed something else in his frown. There was more to this than what he was saying. His confusion… it wasn't just because I didn't understand. It was also because he didn't know how else to hide his other reason. But I couldn't let him know that suspicion. That would just make him more uncomfortable and… and this wasn't like how it was with Felix. With Felix, I had to try and wriggle out what he was truly asking before replying to him. I didn't need that here. "I fear that attempting to explain further shall only confuse and frustrate us both. Would you mind if I instead explained why I worry?"

"That is probably best, Professor." Ferdinand's smile was more than a little relieved. "Though, I would urge you to not forget your tea."

"Ah, yes." I had actually forgotten, and I quickly took a sip. Then I took another because it was really, really good. Spiced. It made my mouth tingle, but in a fun sort of way. "I am not joking when I say you have your own talents. One of the biggest, and something Edelgard would have great difficulty with, is… well, how you can fill any role."

"...Any role?" The way he stared hinted I'd taken him by surprise. Given the number of times this had happened with my students, I might need to look up synonyms for the word. "Truly?"

"Yes, based on the aptitudes at least. You have a greater potential, and adaptability. You have your preferences, certainly, but no true weaknesses. Based on the aptitude scores, at least." I smiled faintly, before drinking more of the tea. "I fear that by focusing on Edelgard, you limit yourself. Not just in what roles you take, but in the time you have to train."

"Ah." He was silent for a long while, and I waited for him to gather his thoughts. "I shall think on what you said. I fear that is all I can promise for now."

"That is more than enough for me, Ferdinand." After all, I couldn't force them to do anything. All I could do was help them as best as I could. "With all of that said, do you want me to have your lessons mirror Edelgard's for now?" Even if it confused me, he had his reasons. I couldn't brush those reasons aside. They were important, after all.

"...No." He hesitated, but met my gaze straight on, his eyes hard and bright with determination. "I have many goals, Professor, but the most pertinent one is that I wish to assist my fellows as much as I am able. It is more than simply my duty as a noble, but my most heartfelt wish. So, if you say that I can fill any role, then I ask you push me to what the cohort needs. I will take any and all lessons needed. I swear it."

"Then that is what I shall do."

"Thank you." All at once, he sighed and smiled wryly. "I must apologize. I asked you to tea in order to help you relax, and yet, it seems I made you work instead."

"And yet, I am infinitely more relaxed than I was earlier." Still, I could sense Sothis fuming. She didn't like that I kept on 'working'. And Ferdinand did seem to feel bad. "However, there's still quite a bit of tea left. Why don't we switch topics? You brought up the concert, and I remember you were one of the singers. Do you like music?"

"I am quite fond of it, actually. I think one must have an appreciation of the arts in order to truly understand what moves the people." He smiled warmly. I was relieved the switch seemed to work. "I am particularly fond of the opera, though."

"Are you?" I had to smile a little. "I've guarded quite a few shows at Mittelfrank. Only once was I close enough to see the show, but I've heard many. They're enthralling, are they not?"

That was enough to spark a conversation that lasted for literally hours, with Ferdinand and I discussing different operas. I didn't know the actual titles for many, but my memory of lyrics and events was enough to prompt the names from him, which led to even more discussions.

I'd have to stay up late to make up for the time lost, but I couldn't deny how much fun it had been. Sothis was happy about it, at least.

---

Ferdinand von Aegir

Crest: Cichol (Minor)

Heir to House Aegir, who strives to live up to the ideals of nobility. His sheltered life can sometimes blind him to social cues, such as sarcasm, but he never hesitates to admit fault when he is shown the error. He can be rather boastful and prideful of his heritage, but almost anything he does has quite a bit of thought put into it. Even if it doesn't seem like it.

His lack of weaknesses among his aptitudes both bless and curse him with the ability to do well in many different roles, meaning it can be hard for him to find his particular place. However, given how many of his cohort have rigidly defined roles, this also means he is capable of performing whatever tasks are needed to protect them.

His sheer determination and positivity are limitless, which means that once he is shown the error of his ways, he stops at absolutely nothing to not only better himself, but to prove he has. It also means he doesn't let small setbacks stop him, even if he can get rattled and lose his confidence.

Felix Hugo Fraldarius

Crest: Fraldarius (Major)

Second son of House Fraldarius, one of the oldest noble houses of the Kingdom, and its current heir after the death of his older brother during the Tragedy of Duscar. Known for a sharp tongue and a hyper-focus on battle and strength, the only time his scowl fades is when he fears one of his childhood friends might be in danger. Though he'll never admit to it.

A talented swordsman, like most of House Fraldarius, he prefers to strike quickly and fiercely. However, there is a desperation to his swordsmanship as well, as if he is simply using the fight as a means to escape something. This desperation means he often forgets to guard and has to rely on his speed to avoid enemy counters.

Despite his prickliness and barbs, it's noted that he's rarely far from Dimitri whenever there seems to be danger, and he seems to be the only one to notice the numerous changes in Dimitri's behavior since the Tragedy. However, he seems at a loss at what to do, which only results in more anger and insults.

Lorenz Hellman Gloucester

Crest: Gloucester (Minor)

Heir to house Gloucester, and he makes sure everyone around him knows it. He is snobbish and flaunts his status, to the point that many mistake it for a feeling of superiority. He lives by a strict code of conduct, based on his deep set beliefs on how a noble must act, and he abhors nobles who seemingly do not live up to the same standards.

Due to the influence of his house, he incorporates magic into his fighting. However, this results in him splitting his time and training between two very different areas of combat, which can result in him excelling in neither.

His interest in magic is great enough that he actually enrolled in Fhirdiad's School of Sorcery, though he was forced to leave when political turmoil made things uncomfortable, particularly for non-Kingdom Students. Despite this, he harbors little to no ill will towards the Kingdom, and instead simply finds it distasteful that the Kingdom appears to struggle with protecting its people. Not that he would tell his fellows that, as he is very intent on keeping a parents' 'crimes' separate from their children.

---

Author's notes: I think I need to simply resign myself to long chapters for this story. For timeline questions, this is more or less during the 'first week' of the month.

In-game, the mission to deal with bandits is assigned at the start, but this made more sense to me. As for the whole 'armies stretched thin' thing… dialogue in the monastery exploration parts (especially later in the game) heavily imply that the number of missions/fights the students have to deal with is very atypical, not even going into the scale and stakes of those fights. And there's a couple of missions where it's outright stated the reason why the students have to deal with it is because there aren't enough knights free to handle it. As for the Southern Church… I can't quite remember where it's found, but it's definitely part of the lore. I don't think I made it up, at least.

'Abyss' doesn't show up in the scene with Jeralt (and isn't mentioned at all until Game-Chapter 3), but might as well get those hints in. (Wave 4 DLC, drop ASAP for my sake, please?) Sothis's dialogue about turning back time technically doesn't happen until the mission starts, but it made sense to put it here.

Felix's scene started from his monastery exploration dialogue and it… uh… spiraled from there because it was difficult to imagine Byleth just letting that go in this story. Dorothea's predicament is also based off of monastery exploration and, interestingly, the dialogue (and what option boosts her support points) differs depending on if you're playing male or female. If you're a male, she'll simply say it's a pale blue cloth, and you get points by saying you'll tell Manuela. If you're playing female!Byleth, then she'll say it's an undershirt and you get a boost for saying you'll help look for it.

While I know it's pretty early for supports, there's a few around here. Edel's C support here is much earlier than it unlocks (but the C+ support seems like the real 'meat' of the conversation there, and that is definitely being pushed until later). Raphael's is another odd one because it actually brings in information from his B support (mostly because it felt more like something that should've been a C, C+ thing, but hey, that's just me). (And if you're wondering about why Raphael doesn't seem aware of the dangers of overdoing the exercise, just… read his B support with Dimitri.) Hilda's scene incorporates parts of her support line with Byleth, mostly her C. And Ignatz's little snippet is based off of his C support.

As for the cultural associations with the boar, that's all from some quick research. Primarily Ancient Greek culture/mythology and Hittite mythology.