*I have no rights to any of these characters, but I enjoy writing and/or reading about them tremendously.
"I wish you would tell me what is wrong." Charles Carson said softly, his concern evident in his tone of voice. Elsie had been acting off for the past few days, and he was making himself sick with worry.
"I'm only tired what with work and all the preparations for the wedding. It's nothing to concern yourself with, Mr. Carson." Elsie Hughes responded, trying to sound lighthearted, but knowing she was failing. She had been off kilter, and she was at a loss to explain why. One could blame it on the upcoming wedding, but Elsie knew that wasn't where her issues lie.
Raising an eyebrow at her in disbelief, Charles let his doubt show on his face.
Elsie sighed, realizing he simply wasn't going to let it go.
"Everything about you is my concern, Elsie Hughes." He said softly, reaching out to squeeze her hand. At his touch, a small smile flitted about her mouth for just a moment before disappearing. Oh, how her heart ached at the love she had for this big bear of a man. She wanted to throw her arms around his neck, grasp his hands, and put them to her body.
What would Charles think of her, knowing how much she ached for…for something physical? Elsie craved touch and physical stimulation, her restless body making her feel jumpy and raw all the time. She didn't know exactly what she needed, but she the need was strong.
"Are you ill?" he said softly.
"No."
"Having second thoughts about marrying an old codger like me?"
"No." she said again, that smile appearing briefly.
"Since you don't feel it's something you can discuss with me, is it too much to ask that you talk to someone else? A problem shared is a problem halved, my dear."
Elsie sighed again, realizing the noise was becoming quite a bad habit for her. "Yes, I will if you insist. Now I must get on."
Satisfied with that small concession at last, Mr. Carson turned and took his leave.
Watching him leave, Elsie rolled her eyes. Speak to someone else indeed. She'd just as soon fly a kite in a lightning storm. That's all she needed, someone else knowing of her ignorance.
Seating herself at her desk, Elsie had barely opened her ledger before Anna stuck her head in the room. "A moment, Mrs. Hughes?"
Stifling that problematic sigh, Elsie motioned her in.
"Of course, Anna. How can I help?"
Anna's eyes were bright as she motioned to the door. Elsie nodded and Anna pulled it shut, giving them some privacy before taking a seat.
"I know it might be a bit forward, Mrs. Hughes, but I wondered if there was anything I could help you with. You've seemed a bit…out of sorts."
Elsie worried her bottom lip, not liking that she was that transparent. Of course, she thought logically, she and Anna had worked together for nearly her whole time at Downton. They were quite familiar with each other.
Anna sensed Elsie's hesitancy and kept on speaking before she lost her nerve.
"I meant to wait a few days yet, but I wondered if it might be more appropriate now. I don't want to overstep, but I can't help but wish I had someone to speak to me before my wedding night, someone who could have answered my questions. Not that Mr. Bates did anything wrong or hurt me, in fact he was wonderful, but it's still good to…to feel prepared."
"Mrs. Hughes," Anna said, looking at her lap briefly while she gathered her thoughts. "You've done so much for me. Let me do this for you."
"Oh, Anna." Elsie said, putting her face in her hands. "I'm so embarrassed."
Anna wanted to put her arms around the housekeeper, but she knew Mrs. Hughes wouldn't accept that much comfort. Her heart broke at the obvious distress in one of her very closest friends.
"Why on earth would you be embarrassed, Mrs. Hughes?" Anna asked softly.
"I'm a silly old woman without a clue about how I'm to go about…well go about any of it!"
"Oh, Mrs. Hughes," Anna said, a sympathetic smile on her face. "I know you're nervous. It's a frightening thing, after all. We spend our whole lives being kept in the dark about anything to do with men or making love, then we're thrown in a room together as husband and wife and expected to know how to get along. It's not fair to anyone."
Elsie nodded her agreement weakly, and the two women shared a quiet moment. Finally, Elsie threw up her hands and leaned back in her seat.
"Fine." She said, sighing. "I won't be shy if you won't."
Anna giggled. "No, Mrs. Hughes. I'm an old married lady now, such things don't shock me like they used to. So where would you like to start?"
In spite of her discomfort, Elsie smiled. "Old married lady indeed. I suppose just start at the beginning, if you don't mind."
"Yes, right." Anna cleared her throat, thinking she might have been a tad hasty in promising not to feel shy. Determined to get through it for the benefit of Mrs. Hughes, she bravely continued on. "It's important that you be…ready for him. Very, very ready."
Elsie's brow furrowed, and she looked at Anna with confusion. "Ready?"
Anna gulped, then closed her eyes, letting her words come out in a rush. "What I mean by 'ready' is like you are when you…touch yourself. Wet. There. Aroused."
Opening her eyes slowly, she peeked at Mrs. Hughes through the crack in her lids. The older housekeeper seemed to have lost all of her color.
"Ah, yes. Well." Elsie said, having to clear her throat to keep her voice from leaving completely.
Anna exhaled a steadying breath, determined to see this through. "If that's done right, everything else goes pretty easily. That's why it's important to take your time. Kissing, touching, undressing each other. The longer the better, really."
Elsie, having recovered her composure slightly at Anna's businesslike tone, nodded, which Anna took as a sign to continue. "You have to remember nothing is wrong between a husband and a wife, as long as you're both willing. It's all good and proper, and it does get easier to talk of such things."
"Now the bedroom is not the place for modesty, to be sure, so throw that out the window right now. He will want to touch you everywhere, with his hands and his mouth."
"Really?" Mrs. Hughes said, the shock on her face making Anna giggle.
"Yes, Mrs. Hughes. And if you're shocked by that, you'll be even more so when you find yourself enjoying it and wanting to return the favor."
Elsie had difficulty imagining Charles, the ever-proper butler partaking in such base actions, but trusted Anna's words.
"Especially your, ah," Anna motioned vaguely to her chest, letting Elsie know what she was speaking of. "His mouth will probably be, ah, there quite a lot."
Anna had to pause a moment to clear her throat and take a sip of tea before the next bit. "And as I said earlier, about his mouth touching everywhere…I do mean everywhere." Anna widened her eyes a bit at Elsie, hoping she had emphasized the word enough to get her meaning across.
"God in Heaven." Elsie murmured, her hand coming up to her throat.
"Oh, when it happens you'll definitely be calling out to God, probably to thank Him. It's quite delightful."
Surprised, Elsie had to giggle at Anna's wickedness, their shared laughter lightening the mood in the room considerably.
"Actually, it's all delightful. The first time will hurt a bit, mind. But that fades quickly, and it's no more than a bee sting."
"And, I'm assuming this will be done when he's…on top of me?" Elsie said.
"Probably so the first time," Anna said, nodding. "But there's more ways, more ah, positions, than just him being on top. He can be behind, with you on your knees, or you can get on top as well. Actually, there's all sorts that can be done."
"Does it take a long time?"
Anna bit back a smile, knowing that the whole thing must sound terribly unpleasant. "Probably not as long a time as you'd like it to take, as shocking at it sounds."
Elsie nodded again, needing to ask a question before her nerve fled. "How do you, I mean, what can I do to give him, ah, pleasure?"
"It all gives him pleasure, Mrs. Hughes. Looking at you, hearing your cries, watching you respond to his touch. That's what being in love is. And you can always return the favor with your, ah, mouth. That goes both ways."
"Oh, dear." Elsie said, making Anna giggle once again.
"Save that for a bit later, after you're more comfortable. But don't be surprised if you find yourself enjoying that as well. It's intoxicating really, feeling the power you have over your man. Seeing it, evidence of the need, the lust that he has for you. Knowing that you can cause such a thing."
Anna's eyes took on a dreamy quality, no doubt pleasant scenes and memories were filling her thoughts. Rather than be embarrassed, Elsie took a moment to be thankful that her friends were so happy and blessed in their marriage. It was a beautiful sight to see, and it couldn't have happened to two better or more deserving people.
Seeming to snap out of her reverie, Anna came back to herself. "Right, now it is a bit messy, of course, after he well, finishes, for lack of a better word. But nothing a warm cloth cannot take care of. Oh, and always, always get up and go empty your bladder once you've finished. That keeps you from getting a bladder infection. I know it's tempting to cuddle up and fall asleep afterwards, but if you don't take a moment you will regret it."
Elsie committed that bit to memory, knowing Anna wouldn't have mentioned it unless it was important.
"It really is quite lovely, Mrs. Hughes. I promise."
Elsie felt a bit lighter as Anna took her leave. Her embarrassment had faded, leaving in its place an odd excitement about things to come. Before it had been an unknown, a black void that left her in fear. Now, she had a better idea of her role in the whole thing.
The rest of the day passed uneventfully, and before she knew it, she was sharing a scheduled glass of wine with Mr. Carson in her sitting room.
"You seem a bit more lighthearted." He said, his eyebrows raising in question.
Biting her lip, Elsie struggled not to let her emotions show on her face. "I do feel a tad bit better, if you must know, Mr. Carson."
"I'm very glad, Mrs. Hughes." He said, pausing to take a drink of his wine. After setting down the glass, he surprised her by reaching across the table and giving her hand a squeeze where it rested on the table. Charles had never been one for physical expressions of love, but he seemed to be warming up to them as the wedding drew closer.
"Do you think my emotions show clearly on my face, Mr. Carson?" Elsie asked, surprising Charles.
"That's an interesting question." He said, looking at her thoughtfully. "We have worked closely with each other for more than twenty years, so it may just be our familiarity, but I believe I can generally assess your mood by your face, yes."
Charles took another drink before continuing. "Your mouth goes flat whenever you're angry, and I can see that Scottish fire flashing in your eyes. Your eyes get dark when you're tired, but they light up and sparkle like fireworks when you're feeling mischievous."
Elsie smiled at him, her love for this man nearly making her chest ache. "I have other moods, you know." She said quietly, leaning towards him so she could be heard. "One I never even had words to describe until today, actually."
Imitating her tone of voice, Charles leaned closer to Elsie. "Oh?" he said, intrigued. "What mood is that?"
"Aroused." Elsie said softly, smiling satisfactorily as Charles blushed the same shade of red as the wine they were drinking.