"Hello, stranger."
I looked up at him. He seemed…out of place. The way he stood, the way he spoke. His manner and swagger seemed to be more reminiscent of palace halls and not stables. His dark skin contrasted against his white chiton.
"So why are you here? Are you the caretaker of the horses?" He sighed and tilted his head. His hair bounced along; his face annoyed by my question. He took a breath and answered.
"No, I prefer their company. My lot in life is not a happy one but the calmness of animals is something I enjoy. The horses are away today but I did not know that." He waved to the empty room.
I waited for his next words with excitement. His voice soothed me: I felt at peace.
"…so, that is why I came today. To revel in the horses before I found out they were not here."
He stood uneasily, trying to figure out what he should say and do now that his thought was over. He puzzled me, which I enjoyed. Most people tried to self-aggrandize around me, make themselves more important. He did not know what to do.
There was silence. He expected a response.
"Oh, I am sorry they were not here. You were really upset about it."
"Yeah. Upset about the horses."
We stood in silence. It was…different. Nice, even. Silence was…nice.
"So, what were you planning to do if the horses were not here?"
"Huh? Um…I did not have anything else."
"Do you want to join me?"
"Okay."
We walked out of the stables, away from the city. I had no idea where we were going or where we were. We walked in silence.
My stomach sensed a need for sound and grumbled. He looked at me, and chuckled.
"Are you hungry or is your stomach trying to make Poseidon jealous?"
I chuckled. His humor was quick but erudite. Poseidon controlled the quaking earth. You needed to know his patronages and then make the connection.
"Yeah, I have not eaten at all today.
"I know where some fig trees are. Let us go there."
It was a quick walk. We shook the tree and the ripe juicy figs fell. As we sat to eat, we started to talk. He was the prince of this land. We would be seeing a lot of each other over the next few days due to the bonds our fathers had as kings and kin. I said our fathers were cousins…or an uncle and he a cousin? I could not work it out at first. But my new fascination diagrammed the generations out in the dirt and summarized it: first cousins "once removed." He explained what the removing meant but I could not remember. Why? I knew why. The reason sounds romantic and at the time, I had no intention of it being so.
I was lost in his eyes.
His eyes were darker than the night. Years could pass, I remember thinking, and I would find newer things to admire. I never felt that way about anyone or anything before. His passion shown in his eyes. He would talk about anything he admired or enjoyed. The cadence of his voice would increase, his pitch heightened. He grew more and more excited the more and more he spoke. And that excitement and joy shone through his eyes.
"…and that is how we are related. It is so fascinating, is it not?"
"Huh. Yeah."
"You do not sound excited."
"Oh, I am though. My mind was elsewhere for a minute, my apologies." I felt the warmth arise in my cheeks. I could not say to someone I just met I was not listening because I was lost in their gaze.
"That happens to me as well."
At this point, Helios started to set. We decided to head back to the city and to the palace. We grabbed more figs to eat on our way. As we walked back, I nervously asked him if we would remain in communication once I left.
"Of course, we are cousins! Friends too!"
"Friends?"
"Yes, friends."
"Alright: friends. By the way, friend, you still have not told me your name."
"Pat…Patroclus."
"Patroclus". Pa-trah-clus. His name tasted as honey on my tongue. I wanted to say his name again. Patroclus. Patroclus. Patroclus.
"Pleasure to meet you, Prince Patroclus. I am Prince Achilles, son of King Peleus, Lord of Pythia."*
I bowed heavily. He grinned, exposing his gapped teeth, bemused by the formality. His smile shone through my heart. He looked at me and the fig in his hand. He suddenly stopped smiling, however.
"I never really had one before."
"A fig? But you showed me where they were."
"No, a friend. Most of the others my age mock me. That is why I was crying in the stables."
He ate away savoring the fruit while I stood agape. His nonchalant response shocked me but not as much as the substance. Not a single friend? I had known him less than a day, but I knew he was the best person I had ever met. The smartest one. The wryest one. The funniest one. He personified amicableness! Anyone who did not like him deserved to have Lady Artemis shoot a divine arrow into their heads with the phrase "Opus's Biggest Ignoramus" on it. Or at least, by me.
"How?"
"How what?"
"You never had a friend?"
He stopped eating and walking, wiped his hands on his chiton, and paused. He sighed.
"I am a prince, just like you. However, Father has shown his disdain and disappointment in me. I do not meet his standards. I am too slow, too weak. I think too much. Yet, I am his only son. He cannot disinherit me. His lack of respect spread around the rest of his court and to their kids. They consider me a pariah. So I have been more of a recluse. You are the first person I have enjoyed talking to in a while."
"Well, do not worry, Patroclus, I will be your friend for the rest of my life."
"Same, Achilles. Same. We are close to the city now. Race you!"
As he ran from me towards, I ran towards him. Wanting him near me. Wanting him by my side. I remember feeling that way, but I could not place it. Obsession? Loneliness? Fear?
Looking back, I knew what it was: I felt normal.
Not deified. Not adored. Most of those I had known did that to me. Always an ulterior motive: make Achilles happy.
But he? To him, even from the beginning: I was just me and normal.
And upon reflection, that made me feel higher than Mount Olympus. From that day on, even if I did not understand how I did or why I did, I knew I loved him.
Margin Notes, Written in My Hand
*I need to step away. This hurt. I am not ready to say his name. May it live forever in Elysium! May he eat Poseidon's catch and drink of Dionysus's bounty! I cannot do it. I cannot. Say the name of the man who completed me? The one I gave it all for? The diary demands it but I cannot. Fear is for the weak. But am I weak? Or is that wrong too? I am wrong. I will attend to Queen Persephone: she will advise.
I have returned. The Queen and I have discussed the issue: she said it is advisable to avoid the name of my partner for the time being and only use it if needed as an absolute purpose. She is wise to suggest it and even wiser of me to follow it.
Edit: October 2nd. I did some reformatting to match what I am doing for future chapters. A brief summary of my journey for Achilles: I am a classicist and will go into The Song of Achilles territory, then the Iliad, and then into Hades and the Odyssey. So I will be writing for a WHILE. I also try not to personalize it too much so do not expect a lot of author breaks like this. I do appreciate you and your willingness to join my own therapeutic journey.