DISCLAIMER:

I do NOT own any of the character ideas used in the following fan fiction. It is just an original story idea using the characters of the Manga/Anime.

My OC's are Sinha and Kaya.

A/N:

Hello everyone! It has been a bit of a roller coaster since the last update. I live in Texas, and as some of you are aware, we just had an actual winter! I was extremely lucky to live on a power grid for a police station so my family was able to come stay warm at my place. But a lot of people had an extremely hard time and some even had dangerous times not having power for their machines...As a thank you for sticking with me, and due to being indoors from the storm... I have an extra long chapter for you. I know I said I would go in depth with Inuyasha, but I am still developing the reunion chapter for him and Sinha. So more on that is to come. Until then, I hope you enjoy.

-KKB

Inuyasha lay awake listening to the night bore on. Perched in a tree, a familiar sight, he pondered on the task before...and behind him.

Kagome is a strong woman… she will be okay….

He kept running these words in his brain over and over. Trying to reassure himself.

You did the right thing.. she will see that…. She understands…. She said so herself.

His thoughts continued.

Guilt filled his stomach as he thought back on the woman he just left behind. On the reality that he finally let go of her.

The person who helped make him the strong demon he was. Their friendship and… more than friendship, giving him the reasons to be a better and stronger individual.

She and him have been through so much, and he knew that she would always be one of his major loves.

Learning to separate his feelings from Kikyo and Kagome was one of the things he thought he would never have to do- or explain again. And yet, here he was.

I wonder if this is just my fate. To continuously make these decisions with women….

He was beating himself up over the decision.

NO….no this will not be a habit…. Because I can't see wanting anyone else the way I want to be with Sinha…. I could never do that to her.

A part of him laughed.

This was his new reality.

He had decided what path he wanted to pursue and he planned to do it without looking back.

Sinha was different.

Well obviously different, she was a half-demon like him.

But their relationship felt whole.

Even in the dull moments, there were no expectations, his mind didn't run wild with thoughts about their differences...there was just… calm. Contentment. Something he had grown accustomed to over the time they had spent together.

It wasn't until he began his time with Kagome again that he realized just how different the two relationships were.

Even though he and Kagome had grown over their time apart, she was able to pick back up where they left off so easily.

He thought it was the best thing, but just as easily, the self doubt came back.

Thoughts of having to prove himself. All of the crap memories of his childhood were hanging over him, the bright days talking about his favorite childhood memories with Sinha, non-existent.

He even had guilt over leaving Sinha for Kagome, even though she knew he was waiting for Kagome.

To be fair, she never made any advances in their relationship. In fact it was only recently, in the 8 months prior to Kagome making her appearance, that Inuyasha had let his feelings show.

When Miroku had mentioned Sango was pregnant again...it jolted Inuyasha with how much time had passed. Made him think about what type of future he saw. He had to have the hard sit down with himself to understand that Kagome might not ever make it back. That he might have to move on, and with moving on, decide the life he wanted.

Did he want to keep roaming the lands, improving his strength?

He wasn't Sesshomaru… he wanted to stay with his friends, and help Miroku with the kids. Even Shippo would need him for training once he got older.

And suddenly, his appreciation of exactly what Sinha was to him had come to light. He was no longer able to think of her as just a companion. Inuyasha even talked to Kaya about it.

That old woman certainly knows a thing or two….

Kaya helped him realize that each woman who was involved in his life, was unique in their own way. Each person brought something he needed into his life.

Kikyo allowed him to feel something other than anger towards humans.

Kagome helped him find friends-family- and strength.

Sinha…. Was helping him accept all of himself.

With her bright smile and seemingly continuous understanding of whatever he had to say.

Never judging his bad decisions, and only showing him the positive from the bad.

Finally, ready to face Sinha, he stood and stretched, balancing on the branch that bowed with his shifting weight.

Silent as any night dwelling creature, he landed on the ground and walked the remaining mile as his heart beat increased with each step. He needed the time to think-Anxious to see the woman he cared for. Anxious to finally tell her, he wanted to be with her.

Anxious to ask her, to be his mate.

Kagome clenched her eyes at the sudden brightness of the sun as they came upon the top of the waterfall. Beautiful sun rays reflecting off a body of water in front of them. Perfectly hollowed out- and a great location for a mid-day swim.

I can't believe we never found this place… she thought to herself. Quietly marking the location in her memory.

Kouga softened his grip allowing her the chance to get to her feet if she so chose. She decided to hold out a moment more as she feigned looking around. When really she was enjoying the feeling of security in his arms.

"So is this the surprise?" she asked, finally releasing her grip and planting her feed on the ground.

He smiled down at her, noting her hands still touching his chest as she looked up at him.

"YUP!" he exclaimed, a wag of his tail signifying his pride.

"Believe me, these waters are the best at relieving stress. This river flows through a few areas where they become hot springs like the one you and your friends visit in the lower valley, and right at this point in the river, the water has cooled enough from the hot springs further up, that it is a constant warm temperature. Not too hot, not too cold, perfect for hot or cold weather." he smiled as he finished his informative speech.

"It's my secret swim area. I come here after a hard battle, or rough day. It always helps relieve my stress." he nodded at the waters edge.

He walked her forward, hand hovering over her lower back, he released her and knelt down- sticking his hand in the water, inviting her to feel what he was talking about.

She mimicked his movements and placed her hand- wrist deep- into the water. It was cooler than she expected, but after a moment, it became warm, and very inviting.

Kouga stood and began to remove his chest armor. Placing it to the side. He reached for his waist pelt next and Kagome blushed looking away.

He paused and smirked at her, removing his hand from the pelt. Instead, entering the water as he was. He walked until the water was up to his thighs and turned to her.

"I never got to enjoy my swim down stream yesterday, seeing as I became aware of your presence and became distracted." he smiled coyly.

"Not that I am complaining Kagome."

She blushed harder at hearing her name.

"So please, enjoy a swim, relax and then after I doubt you will have any issues meditating." as he spoke he removed the tie from his hair, letting it fall around his shoulders. He noticed a change in Kagome's smell when he did that.

Doing his best to ignore the flare in his instincts, he turned his attention to the water, and dove under.

Kagome shifted at the water's edge.

She had swum with Inuyasha before, and all the others. But she had never leisurely swam with anyone else.

She was uncomfortable at the idea, but a part of her was really excited to get in the water with him.

What is going on with me?

Kagome tied her hair back and re-secured her hakama, and the ankles, to allow better swimming. Her top would be fine, since it was layered with a second cloth, plus a camisole she brought from her time.

She stepped into the water looking out towards the swimming wolf-demon. He seemed occupied in his swim as she entered.

Walking forward a bit more confident than she should she suddenly dropped.

She hit the edge, and was plunged below the water as her feet searched for the muddy bottom that was gone.

She instinctively began to swim and broke the surface with a slight cough from briefly inhaling the water. She grappled back towards the edge as she attempted to clear her throat. Suddenly, Kouga was beside her.

"I didn't think you would be caught off guard by the ledge." he nudged her in the shoulder releasing a chuckle.

Kagome smiled and let out a cough. "Well, I guess I deserved that, I wasn't being careful. Although I have a hunch I don't have to worry about drowning with you around.."

Her coy remark was met with a fanged grin from her comrade.

She climbed back onto the ledge and walked back enough to be able to sit comfortably in the water without worry of swallowing anything.

"Well I hope first impressions can change, because this ledge is my favorite part. I love to dangle my legs in the deep end and use the edge to push off when I want to go deeper or float on my back" he began to explain.

Kagome listened as he detailed his swims, noticing how open he was being with her, seeing that he spoke with such ease to her. Not like Inuyasha whom she had to poke and prod for information.

As Kouga continued to speak, she began to note the subtle and large differences between the wolf demon and her long time love interest.

He was confident while he spoke, his words backed up by truth instead of hot air… like Inuyasha.

And he was always so open with her. He protected her every chance he had, and constantly informed her of his feelings. Lots of things that scream out to any sane person that he is a good match.

So why did she always choose Inuyasha over him? The questions filled her mind.

Kouga paused mid-sentence, realizing Kagome's mind was occupied.

He took a breath and ducked down under the water, treading as far down as he could go until he felt the mud beneath his feet. He released all the air from his lungs and looked around the bottom where smoothed down rocks hid fish and creatures alike.

His eyes darting around taking in the other world the water held beneath the surface.

This was the real reason he enjoyed his swims here. He would constantly dive down, and clear his head of his land-based troubles in order to think clearly.

Except this instance was to allow Kagome some privacy with her thoughts.

He waited a few moments before heading back to the surface, only 15ft above, and as his head cleared the water, Kagome jolted and met his eyes. A curious and shocked look shrouding her face.

"Were you holding your breath that whole time!?" she asked astonished.

He winked at her, "Oh come on, I'm a demon, we can do a lot of things if we take the time to practice. And I told you I come here often."

He slid back up to and crawled over to Kagome, not wanting to raise his body out of the warm water. Turning to sit beside her he leaned back on his hands allowing his legs to float freely as they talked.

"Kouga- can I ask you something?"

He raised an eyebrow as he looked at her.

"Anything." he responded winking again.

Kagome rolled her eyes, tempted to just ignore the questions she had built in her mind. She continued to look at him and she folded her hands and let them fall below the water. Her eyes following her hands as she prepared her question.

Kouga's ears perked up as he noted the uneasiness she exuded.

"As you are aware, things are not going well between me and Inuyasha." she kept her eyes on the water as she spoke.

"I am technically in a vulnerable place, in terms of human emotions. I feel like I am going to get attached to you if you keep this up, and I just want to be honest that while, we have history, I know a lot of the things you said in the past won't apply anymore, but I just don't know if my feelings for you are out of my sadness or just a reflex of being dumped."

She sighed, her eyes remaining down cast.

He looked her over, head tilting to the side.

"So what's your question?" he asked teasingly.

She finally looked at him, His blue eyes eager to meet hers.

"My question is… why are you doing this for me? I've never accepted your help or feelings before, due to my commitment to Inuyasha, but here you are. Helping me with my troubles, not asking anything from me, even an explanation. Why are you doing it?"

She finally posed her question. Some part of her needed to know where they stood before she could allow them to move forward. Even this training day was causing her to have weird thoughts and feelings, and it's not fair to impose her misplaced emotions onto someone who is just trying to be helpful.

Kouga pursed his lips, thinking on his response.

"True love has sacrifice."

His husky voice emitted in so low, she had to strain to hear.

She lifted her eyes then looking to his face which was now looking at the afternoon sky.

"The women in my tribe- as I mentioned- taught us a lot about mates and life. That statement was lost on me until I met you.

I always imagined that I would have whatever I wanted without sacrifice. When I was younger I took what I wanted when I wanted."

Kagome thought back to their first encounter, and remembered the harsh young wolf-demon who wanted her for her ability to find shikon jewels. True to his words, back then, he didn't take "No" for an answer, kidnapping her from Inuyasha and getting her to help his tribe with the birds of paradise.

He continued.

"Even though I began to learn what sacrifice was the longer I knew you- I didn't REALLY understand it until that day we fought Renkotsu and I was injured. When you reunited with Inuyasha I-"

She heard his voice cut off and he turned his face away.

"I realized how much you loved him."

Kagome's chest stung as the memory of almost losing Inuyasha flooded back to her. The relief, the love she had for him when she saw him standing there, arguing with Kouga. The tears she shed in relief, scared she had lost the love of her life to the blazes in the river.

Fresh tears broke the corners of her eyes, but this time from the pain growing in her chest. Pain trickling like acid through her fingers, even the warm waters couldn't persuade her fists to relax as she tried to hold in the emotion.

"I realized then that I never wanted to see you cry that way. So I decided to just, accept that you chose him. I had always thought I was winning you over. But in that moment I knew. And I began to release my claim on you then. I just wanted you to be happy. Even if I wouldn't be."

His words temporarily halted the pain spreading through her.

He really did love me. He let me go-

Whispers entered her mind…She could understand too well the sacrifice he gave. Hadn't she done the same with Inuyasha?

"I'd rather have you as a friend then not at all- I….I love you… Inuyasha"

Butterflies battled the acid pain inside her, creating a bit of nausea that she closed her eyes to.

"So I decided I just wanted you happy. And right now- I can see you need me as a friend. I will be here for you, as a friend always. Even if you never move past that." He finished. Still looking away.

She was grateful he hadn't turned to see the array of emotions splay across her face.

It took her a moment to gather herself together as she worked on her breathing. Clearing the ugly thoughts and focusing on his words.

"So…" she finally said, breaking the silence.

"You're doing this as a friend?" she confirmed.

She heard him laugh.

"Kagome, for you I will do it however you need." He turned to her, the sun bouncing off his olive skin, his smile a sharp white. She looked into his eyes.

Inhumanly blue…. as she stared into his eyes she couldn't see any contrast to the words he spoke.

"But I don't want to give you false hope." she countered.

"I don't know what I will do with the attention your prone to giving me." she answered honestly.

He laughed. And rose from the water. His from cutting a temporary block from the sun.

He reached his hand to her in order to help her up.

She reached to grab his hand, looking up in awe as the sun shone around him, creating a dreamy effect on the admittedly handsome… and if she wasn't lying to herself… sexy wolf.

He grabbed her hand and pulled her up without hesitation.

"Kagome, all you have to do is be happy. Focus on getting your mind better and just enjoy the moments we do spend together. I know I will be taking FULL advantage of seeing your smile…"

She smiled and blushed.

"Just like that." he winked at her.

The two sat in the sun, talking about small things until finally they were dry.

"Sorry you didn't get around to meditating. But we can try again tomorrow."

Kagome nodded in approval. "Yes, though I feel a lot better in a lot of ways. This place really is special." She looked around the small outcropping taking in the scenery. Though it was lacking in greenery, it made up for it in other ways. Like the black and gray sand they were sitting on. You could tell it had been created from years of erosion. She slightly wondered what this place looked like in her time. Was it still around?

"Kagome?" his voice broke through her inner thoughts.

"Yes?"

He peered at her offering her a drink which she accepted gratefully.

"Do you think, you are up to telling me exactly what is going on between you an Inuyasha?"

His question catching her off guard- she swallowed hard on the water she was drinking, a small coughing fit ensued.

He placed his hand over hers."You know, it will only help your training if you talk about it."

A long break followed. And she contemplated what to say- if anything about the situation. Was this something she wanted to explain to the erratic wolf-demon in front of her? He had a habit of exaggerating his emotions when it came to Inuyasha.

Although… he might be different about it. Her thoughts contradicted.

After all…. Yes, he is the same Kouga as before… but something about him is different. He sort of matured in our time apart...

The new parts of Kouga honestly intrigued her, and she couldn't help but wonder how he was with the pack now.

Kagome inhaled deeply as she decided to share, what she could about the situation.

No need to go into details, just a summary, something that won't draw too much emotion. She told herself. Thinking back to all the essays she wrote summaries about.

Just the content not the emotion..

Her hands clasped together, wringing around themselves as she began to talk.

"Uh well…. Uh as you know, I was gone. For a while. And even though my life at home was basically on hold, his wasn't.

And uh, he met someone.

And he wants to be with her. So I told him to go. And I am falling apart and I imagine he… is not."

Her words rushed out of her mouth, increasing with speed as she tried to hold back the tears from forming again. She didn't feel like crying again. Not now when she was enjoying her afternoon.

There's plenty of time to cry when I'm alone….

A pulse of energy ran over her causing her skin to chill. An uncomfortable feeling against her skin. Like fur being pet in the wrong direction.

She hadn't realized her gaze had fallen to her hands, and as she sat there, she waited to hear his remarks.

But none came. She slowly peeked over at him and saw him sitting still as a rock, legs crossed Indian style, his eyes looking past her. His hands were balled into fists, but that was the only indication of his thoughts. Until she heard a low growl coming from his chest. As another pulse of energy washed over her purple sparks met the raw energy as is covered her.

Then she saw his eyes.

The Bright Blue eyes she previously looked into, were changed. The pools of blue were now blazing with a fire she had never seen from him before.

She couldn't believe the anger she could feel coming off of him, her miko powers reacting to the ferocity surrounding her. But he wasn't looking at HER. She knew she wasn't the target. She was surprisingly calm, although definitely surprised that he was reacting this way.

"Kouga….?" her voice came in a whisper, yet he heard her and turned in-humanly fast to look at her.

Suddenly those fire blue eyes were on her as another growl escaped his chest. Just as quickly his eyes changed, back to the bright blue she had been accustomed to, and he reached for her, ignoring the sparks that ran across his hand.

He pulled her onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her, resting his cheek against her hair. His grip secure. She was frozen in surprise as she felt another growl come from his chest, but this one was..dare she say.. soothing.

She was cocooned against an agitated wolf-demon, and yet, she wasn't scared. She felt another pulse of energy wash over her, and this time, it was warm. As if she were back in the water beside her under the sun.

After a moment his grip loosened and she was able to pull back and look at him.

He looked back without a trace of the fire she saw a moment ago. Confused at the sudden change in position and seating, she was lost for words.

I'm in his lap…..

She blushed as the reality of her new position dawned on her.

As she blushed he smiled down at her and crushed her against him in a hug.

"Kouga…" her muffled voice broke through.

He allowed her to sit back. She tried to crawl from his lap but he wouldn't allow her. Instead tilting her back as she tried to gain balance to move or stand. Laughing lightly as she flustered to adjust against him to no avail.

"Sit." was the sole command she heard in a firm voice. She laughed aloud at the command, seeing him smile at her.

How ironic...

She finally gave up and quit trying to move from his lap.

"What- uh… why… am I in your lap?" she finally asked. Blushing harder than she ever thought possible. All fight suddenly gone. Normally she would argue until her face was purple at being in such an embarrassing position, but… she kinda liked sitting there. So she gave in easily.

Kouga noticed a shift in her smell again and he closed his eyes against it, fighting to control THAT side of him.

He opened his eyes to find hers waiting.

"Kagome, I released you so you would be happy. From what I've seen, not only are you not happy, you're hurting. And that is the LAST thing I will stand for. ESPECIALLY from a no good mutt."

She squirmed at the mention of Inuyasha.

"I'll be okay…" she feebly attempted to defend him, averting her gaze.

He grabbed her chin- pulling her back.

"Kagome, he hurt you, and you need to realize that and not defend him." he said a tad aggressively.

She could feel tears attempting to escape.

No! I don't want to cry!

She concentrated on her breathing.

"Look, Kagome, I don't expect you to explain any further unless you want to. But what I've seen over the past two days, just shows there is a lot you are going through. I consider you one of my own, and I will help you in any way I can."

He decided to leave out just how important she was to him.

She seemed to ponder his words.

"So why were you so angry?" she asked.

His eyes widened.

"Uh, I did not such thing…" he complained. A hint of red staining his cheeks.

It was her turn to laugh.

"WHAT! You SO were mad a moment ago!" she accused. "I even FELT it."

She continued to laugh and his face became even redder. The tips of his ears matching his cheeks.

Kouga looked away as she laughed.

He let out a breath, admitting to himself it was his turn to be open.

"You have to understand, as a leader, I'm always supposed to stay calm. No matter the situation I need a clear head to keep us safe. But when it comes to you, it's hard. Whenever you're not safe I get anxious. It's why I would constantly come check on you during your travels."

She nodded remembering.

"When I left you with Mutt-Face, I figured you would be safe and happy. But for him to do this, is unacceptable. I hate the idea of you sad at all but it's even worse knowing what I know now. So when I see him…" She felt a rumble in his chest and saw a flash of the fire in his eyes again.

"You won't do a thing." she answered.

He gaped at her. "Kagome, I-"

"Won't do A THING." she spaced out her words.

He looked at her exasperated. He narrowed his eyes at her grimacing.

"Hm.." was all he responded.

She settled back in his lap.

"Let's change the subject for now ok?" she asked.

"So what happened between you and Ayame?"

He was lost for words. "Well...uh…" he smiled.

"Why don't you come by and ask her?" he asked coyly.

"You mean come see the pack?" her eyes lit up.

"I WOULD LOVE TO!"

She filled with excitement thinking about the gooey story Ayame was sure to tell about falling for Ginta. "Can we go today?" she asked.

Kouga was happy with her response. He knew his pack-mates adored Kagome, and it would provide her a distraction for a day.

"Well why don't we start over tomorrow?" he suggested as he glanced at the sky.

"I imagine they will be busy about now getting ready to hunt. Plus it's about time you get back don't you agree? Unless…. You reeeally want to stay the night with me." he grinned and winked.

Kagome blushed and pushed out of his lap- he laughed as she scrambled up.

"Ugh! You're such a… a.." she turned back to look at him.

He stood. His hair, still down, falling around his shoulders.

He stood tall, waiting for her to finish.

"UGH!" she let out, and began gathering her things.

"I GUESS I can wait until tomorrow." she said- not looking his direction.

He couldn't help but smile as he began assisting her.

Moments later, she was tucked against his chest again. This time, ready for the descent.

"You ready?" he asked? He stood next to the edge of the fall. Spray hitting their faces.

"Uh…. Yes?" she said tentatively.

He grinned and jumped.

Her screams filled his ears as they fell.

He landed effortlessly and began to run. She smacked his arm protesting.

"You're such a...a!"

"You know eventually you will need to finish that sentence." He said over the wind and her cries.

She looked at him in contempt.

He laughed at her as he ran. His gruff voice filling her with warmth.

She couldn't help but smile.

Jerk…

A/N: PHEW! That was a lot for one chapter. But I wanted to try and get out more for you. I can not guarantee this will happen every chapter, though I will try to get close to the 3k word mark as much as I can. I think this one was over 4k almost 5...

As I mentioned in the beginning, please stay safe out there. As I pushed through the second part of this chapter, my family lost our grandfather to Covid. I don't say this for sympathy, but as a reality. I hope each of you are taking care of yourself out there. My family went above and beyond to prevent anyone from catching this illness. And it took only one person to slip up and over a handful of us were effected. We even changed our family traditions over the holidays... Anyways, I can't change the past but I hope you are protecting your futures!

I give love to each of you who take time to read this and I wish you nothing but the best this upcoming month!

-KKB