They set up camp early that afternoon, everyone working in silence.
Charlie is able to get a fire going by herself, and while Cid is sure she might celebrate under different circumstances, she keeps her face neutral and only says something softly to Barret before he sets some more kindling on the ground where she's kneeling in the dirt.
Without much game to hunt, they're left with whatever is available. They stay away from the mostly unfamiliar plantlife, but Vincent is able to shoot down a few fat birds for them all to share for an early dinner, but it's not enough.
No one complains, though. They're all still alive, at least. The same can't be said of Aerith's, whose noticeable absence seems to hang over them all that night.
As the sun goes down, they all remain by the fire. Cid's become almost accustomed to Vincent and Charlie going off by themselves, or the girls retiring early to bed, or Cloud doing fuck all by himself. But not tonight. Tonight, he knows that they're all relishing in each other's company, even if they choose not to speak.
With it being so damn cold, everyone is huddled together. It's rare to see everyone showing such genuine affection, like they've all become comfortable with each other over time, through the long journey north, and possibly even before that.
Cid doesn't know that he shares that same affection for them all yet. They're all morons most of the time, but in an almost endearing way. Now that they've been traveling together for a little while, he's beginning to learn what ticks them off and what pleases them. He knows their strengths and weaknesses, knows when to leave them alone and when to prod.
Isn't that what family is? Isn't family knowing that they're all a bunch of idiots, but loving them anyway? Wanting to be with them because, in spite of their differences, they're the only ones that really understand you?
He glances sideways at Charlie, propped up against a log with her long legs stretched out in front of her, warming them by the fire as she looks into the flames. Her shoulder is touching his, but she hardly seems to notice. On her other side sits Vincent, a healthy bit of space between them.
What would she think if she knew Cid Highwind was thinking of her as his own dysfunctional family?
She's already got one of those, he thinks to himself, wondering why the hell she's even here still, wondering why the hell her brother hasn't made an effort to come get her. Maybe that mission died with that Turk. Maybe she's on her own now, just like everyone else here.
When he looks at it that way, she isn't any different from anyone else in the world. Sometimes he can't believe that she's actually the vice president of Shinra Inc.
"You okay, honey?" he asks quietly, just because she seems far away from here.
Charlie looks up and him, gives him a very practiced smile, and nods before turning her gaze back on the fire.
He knows better than to try and make a move on her here, in front of all these people. Even just draping an arm behind her would have her running back to Midgar without so much as a word. It probably wouldn't look good for the vice president to be seen so much with a scrappy pilot like him.
"Everyone . . . listen to me."
Both Cid and Charlie look across the fire at Cloud, who has chosen to sit alone tonight. His massive sword is lying at his side, like he's ready for a fight, like he's prepared for Sephiroth to fucking blindside him again.
The fire crackles loudly in the silence for a minute before Cloud speaks again. He's been quiet all day. "I'm Cloud, ex-SOLDIER, born in Nibelheim. I came to settle up with Sephiroth."
Charlie watches him, looking deep in thought, eyebrows furrowed.
"I came here of my own free will . . . or so I thought." Having seen Cloud fight, and seen the strength he possesses, sometimes Cid forgets that he's just a damn kid. "To tell the truth, I'm . . . afraid of myself. There's a part of me I don't understand. The part of me that gave Sephiroth the Black Materia."
At this, Charlie lowers her eyes. Cid knows she's thinking about that goddamn Turk. She always looks like that when she's thinking about him.
"There's something inside of me," Cloud continues. "A person that's not really me. And that's why . . . I should quit this journey, before I do something terrible."
"But . . ." Tifa blinks in surprise, shaking her head. At her side, Barret gives a scoff. "Cloud, you can't!"
"I am going," Cloud explains to her, sighing. "Sephiroth destroyed our hometown five years ago, killed Aerith, and he wants to destroy the planet. I'll never forgive him. I . . . must go on." He looks around at his friends for a moment, eyes lingering on Charlie's before passing over her. "Charlie is coming with me, but I have a favor to ask the rest of you."
Cid looks down at her. Charlie's arms are folded across her chest, almost looking determined.
"Will you all come with us? In the hopes of . . . saving me from doing something terrible."
"If Charlie's going, then I'm going," Yuffie snorts, waving a flippant hand at Charlie from her spot by the fire with Nanaki and Cait Sith. "Can't trust a Shinra to watch your back, Cloud." Despite the content of her words, she casts a crooked smile at Charlie.
"The planet must be saved," Nanaki adds, "so I'll go, too."
"And me," Cid hears himself saying, and he's met with a bright smile flashed at him through the dark. Charlie looks up at him and positively fucking beams. "Son of a bitch needs to be stopped."
Vincent nods, Cait Sith agrees excitedly, and Cloud finally turns to Barret and Tifa, who have been unusually quiet throughout this ordeal.
Barret only scoffs. "You don't even gotta ask, SOLDIER," he answers, and Tifa nods her approval, a small smile on her face. "There ain't no gettin' off this train we're on."
Cloud is quiet for a minute or so. In a voice thick with emotion, he finally tells them all, "Then tomorrow we head north, to find Sephiroth and end it once and for all. We have to get the Black Materia back before he uses it."
Shortly after this, Barret digs out enough makeshift cups for them all, pouring them the rest of his booze so they can all have a shot (except for Cait Sith, of course) of some fucking strong alcohol that he's been holding onto since Wutai.
They all raise their cups to Aerith, to the inevitable defeat of Sephiroth, to family and friendship and whatever other bullshit toasts they can come up with. Charlie drinks with the rest of them, and Cid can't help but wonder what's in this for her besides revenge for that Turk.
Is that really all that's driving her? Vengeance? Revenge? All selfish motivations. Shinra doesn't care about the planet, and they never have. Has it taken Lottie twenty-seven years to come to the realization that it's her planet, too?
What does it really matter why she's here, if it means she's doing good? Do her motivations need to be pure? Should she fight the good fight for her own reasons, or for the sake of the world, for the people . . . all the people who wronged her, and whispered behind her back . . .
Does she owe those people anything? All those people that would rather see her dead? All those people that hate her because of her last name, hate her because they don't even fucking know her?
And anyway, why the hell is he still here?
He's got nothing for him in Rocket Town, except for his rocket, and maybe Shera. He thinks of her for the first time since he left, wondering if Shera is still living in his house, waiting for him to return. Was it wrong of him to leave her with no clear intention of coming back?
Does he care about the planet? Sure. Maybe. Just like Charlie, it's his planet, too, and he owes it to the planet to fight for it, right? Is he willing to die for this?
Was Aerith willing to die for this? Did she know her fate? Did she walk knowingly into that situation, waiting for the cold steel to slip through her skin and bones? Did she die for nothing?
No, it can't be for nothing. He won't let it have been for nothing.
He will go on.
Charlie means to wait for everyone to fall asleep, but it's getting late, and she doesn't want to wait any longer.
She offers to gather more wood for the fire, asking Cait Sith to come with her. Cid scoffs and mumbles and protests, reminding her that he's just as capable of carrying sticks back to the fire for her, but Charlie only smiles at him and insists Cait Sith accompany her this time, which doesn't sit well with Barret, either, for good reason.
"Look at 'em," Barret snaps as they both make to walk towards the heavily wooded area to the west of them. "Goddamn vice president and her goddamn spy. If you have somethin' to share with him, then maybe you can share it with the group, Shinra."
"Charlie's not a spy," Cait Sith insists sharply, and she blushes. She knew they might see it that way. "She's got nothin' to do with it!"
"Birds of a feather," Barret grumbles, getting heavily to his feet with a bit of effort. "How do we know that we ain't walkin' right into a trap, huh? How do we know that y'all ain't plottin' against us?"
"I don't even know who he is," Charlie lies, irritable and defensive. She's tired of people assuming things about her, tired of people assuming she's no better than her father or brother. "Besides, I don't see you putting Vincent to the question nearly every night. He's ex-Shinra, too. And Cloud, for that matter."
"Please don't drag me into this," Vincent sighs.
"Bullshit you don't know who he is," Barret hisses, but Charlie doesn't let herself falter. She will not be responsible for anything that may happen to Reeve because of this game he's decided to play with them.
"Are you crazy?" Cait Sith scoffs from atop his moogle. "Like I'd tell the vice president who I am! I'd be executed for treason!"
"She ain't a fuckin' spy, okay?" Cid shoots back, lighting up a cigarette. "Why don't you just shut your goddamn mouth, tough guy?"
"You wanna go?"
Cid stands up, itching for a fist, tossing his freshly lit cigarette onto the ground and stamping it out. "What're you gonna do? Fill me full of holes?"
"Pretty quick to defend the vice president, aren't you? You willin' to take a few hits for her, too?"
"No one is fighting anyone—" Cloud interrupts, but neither Barret or Cid acknowledge him.
"Already fuckin' have, and I'll do it again—"
"Cid, stop!" Charlie shouts, running over to him and wrapping her hands around one of his arms. "That's enough!" She tugs at Cid's arm, which finally gets his attention. She lowers her voice. "Just leave it. I'm not worth it."
"Let her go, Captain." Barret points his gun-arm at Charlie, gesturing towards the forest with his chin. "If she wants to be with Shinra so bad, then let her. Ain't no one here gonna stop her from runnin' back to her daddy's company."
"Charlie knows what her father's company has done," Tifa counters, resting a small hand on Barret's forearm as he sits back down on the ground, muttering to himself. "You know that she doesn't condone anything that's happened."
"Just 'cause you don't condone it doesn't mean shit," Barret says, and Charlie realizes she still hasn't let go of Cid's arm. He hasn't even tried to push her away. "If you knew 'bout it, but did nothin' . . . you're complicit, Shinra, whether you like it or not. All them bullshit speeches 'bout Avalanche, all the lives Shinra took . . . you stood by and let that happen."
"What did you expect her to do, Barret?" Cait Sith asks, hopping forward, closer to the fire again. "I know you're still upset about Corel, but there was nothing she could'a done 'bout that. And in case you forgot, she did try to stop the plate from dropping!"
"Don't matter." Barret looks to the sky and roars in frustration, sending birds scattering everywhere, his voice echoing long after they're gone. "You lived comfortably for years off your daddy's racketeering, bloody money, and sins. Didn't care so much 'bout anyone else when your pockets were full, huh?" He points at her again, this time with his actual hand. "She don't care that Aerith is dead, and she don't care 'bout the planet dyin'. All she cares 'bout is gettin' revenge on Sephiroth for what he did to that Turk—"
"That's enough!"
Charlie jumps, not having expected Cid to speak so loudly. His words drown out Barret's own argument, and the heat rises to her cheeks. "Cid, please . . ."
"No!" he retorts, shaking her off his arm. "What does it matter why she's here if she wants to help? We're all here for different reasons, ain't we?" Cid looks slightly uncomfortable with all the attention, and he rubs the back of his neck. "Lottie's lived a different life than the rest of us, a life that I'll never fuckin' understand, but . . . maybe we shouldn't be so quick to judge, y'know? I mean . . ."
She wants to kiss him. Right here, right now. She wants to wrap her arms around his neck and never let go. She wants to bury her face into his chest and thank him over and over and over again.
"Maybe we shouldn't be so quick to judge. Might be he was just another fuckin' Turk to us, but to Charlie . . ." Cid groans, rubbing his temples. "Ah, fuck it, I dunno what I'm talkin' 'bout."
When he finally brings himself to look at Charlie, she smiles at him. He's very flustered and blushing madly in the firelight, but she loves it, and loves the sight even more when he returns her awkward smile with a crooked one.
She doesn't want anyone to fight her battles for her, but it's such a sweet thing that she can't even be angry about it.
Barret seems satisfied after saying his piece, and no one stops Charlie from wandering off into the edge of the forest with Cait Sith afterwards. They're quiet for a little while, walking slowly, thin branches crunching under their feet, startling small animals that scurry through the undergrowth with each step they take.
"Something on your mind?"
It's jarring to hear Cait Sith's speech pattern change without warning, but it's a nice indication as to whether or not that Reeve is present and listening. She still has yet to ask how the cat even works, but that's not really an important question that needs answered right away.
"Yes, a few things," she admits. "Have you told Reno and Rude about Aerith?"
"No. Should I?"
"They would want to know, I think." She purses her lips. "I don't think Cloud was SOLDIER."
"I was thinking the same thing, truthfully. I can go through the records tomorrow morning when I'm at the office."
"See if you can find Zack's file, as well. Something isn't right about Cloud having that sword. Do you have access to the military files?"
"Your brother has given me access to just about everything," Cait Sith confesses, shrugging his little shoulders. "If the records are there, I'll find them."
Charlie sighs heavily, crossing her arms over her chest. "I wish Lazard were still there. He would have the answers we need." Giving her head a shake, trying to clear her mind of her half-brother, she glances around the wooded area. "Why has Rufus given you so much access to everything?"
There's a slight pause on the other end. Charlie wonders what secrets he's keeping from her. "Ever since you parted ways with him in Rocket Town, your brother has seen fit to shut himself away."
This makes her tense. "That's what Tseng said. Is he all right?"
"He's heartbroken."
That's what Tseng had said, as well. She tries to imagine her sweet little brother, so physically like herself in every way. She can't imagine him as a hermit, as someone who could experience heartbreak. It breaks her own heart, and the moment she opens her mouth to speak, Cait Sith cuts her off, already knowing what she's going to say.
"You can't go back."
"You're the one who told me that I had to go back to Midgar," she argues, running a hand through her hair. "And now you don't want me to?"
"I want you to come home to Midgar, but not for Rufus. Charlie, he doesn't love you—"
"Of course he loves me—"
"If he loved you, he wouldn't be parading about with prostitutes. If he loved you, he wouldn't have kept you prisoner. If he loved you—"
"Don't say that!" she hisses, feeling very close to tears. "I would never expect you to understand." Charlie moves very close to Cait Sith, anger surging through her. She feels sorry that she's taking it all out on Reeve, but he'll take it, just like he always has, too afraid to stand up to her. "Rufus is still my brother, and we have to look after each other. All my life, we've looked after each other, loved each other. I know that he isn't perfect, and I know what he is, but I know that there's good in him, and I know that he loves me."
Cait Sith takes a long time to answer. "He's using you, Charlie. He's always been using you, if only to find a few minutes of pleasure for himself. It's never been about you."
"That's not true."
She knows it isn't true. She knows that Rufus loves her. He's told her so, and has been telling her so for her entire life. He's greedy and rough with his touches sometimes, but he's only lonely, and being a Shinra, there is no one he can trust more in the world than his own sister.
And then the weight of his words suddenly dawns on her. "What did he tell you?" she asks in a hushed voice, suddenly very panicked. Had Rufus told Reeve the entire truth? "Did he say something to you?"
Cait Sith sighs. "Was it going on while we were together?"
"No," she replies quickly, but it's not entirely the truth, and Reeve deserves the truth now, even though it makes her heart beat really fast and her hands shake. "I . . ."
"It's all right, Charlotte. You can tell me."
"I can't—"
"Why?"
"Because I'm ashamed."
"You don't have to feel ashamed with me. Please, Charlotte, just tell me. Was it going on the entire time we were together?"
She lowers her head. It's over. Whatever Rufus has told him was probably mostly exaggerated, but now it's out in the open. "A few kisses," she answers. "Nothing more, not while we were together."
Charlie can picture Reeve's expression in her mind's eye. She's certain that he's disgusted with her, repulsed, horrified. She has to make it better, has to say something to make him feel like she's not the worst person in the entire world, kissing her own brother while engaged to another man.
"Reeve, can I please talk to you?"
"You are already."
"No, I mean . . . can you . . . do the thing that makes your voice come out of it?"
"Er—hang on." It's another minute or so before Cait Sith moves again, but when he does, his jaw hangs open and Reeve's own voice filters through. "Is that better?"
She can't help but smile, his voice knocking the wind out of her. "Yes," she says, wishing he were here instead. "Can you see me? Or is it just Cait Sith who can see me?"
"No, it's the both of us."
Charlie nods. She wants Reeve to be able to see her, because it may not sound genuine enough just hearing her voice. She's terrible at telling the truth, and she isn't proud of it, but now may be the time to begin practicing. Inhaling deeply, she looks around to make sure no one is listening, and begins.
"Reeve, I am . . . so sorry for the way that you've been treated, and it's not just by my brother and my father." She can't imagine how difficult this would be if she was forced to look into his sweet, handsome face. "I have been so horrible to you—"
"Oh, Charlie, really, you don't have to—"
"No," she interrupts him, balling her hands into fists at her sides. "I need you to know that I'm sorry. You were always so sweet to me, so kind and warm and thoughtful and . . . I was selfish and vindictive and bitter and inconsiderate, and I didn't want anyone else to have you, and—"
"Charlie, just—"
"No, I need you to listen to me! I need you to know! What if I don't get another chance to tell you?" She watches Cait Sith for a moment, expecting him to protest, but he allows her to go on. "Everything that Barret said back there was true. That's the kind of person I am, and how could someone like you ever want someone like me? How can you look at me and see anything other than my father's awful legacy?"
"I don't think any of it was true—"
He'll have his chance to speak afterwards, but Charlie needs to get it all out right now. "I'm nothing more than my father's greatest failure, in love with my brother and unable to do anything on my own. I wasted years of your life, trying to be the most . . . perfect version of myself because I just wanted you to love me."
"I did," he tells her gently. "I do."
"I wish you did," she tells him, remembering days long gone now, days when she was young and in love with the handsome new employee, trying to make herself seem older, wiser, perfect. "I never had the luxury to be myself. I had a reputation I needed to maintain, which was rather easy when the world would rather look at your face than hear the words coming out of your mouth."
Cait Sith suddenly shakes his head, his mouth clamping shut as he shakes out all of his limbs. "Sorry, love, he's gone for the mo'," comes the accented voice, "things are a bit chaotic, if y'know what I mean."
Charlie exhales loudly, anger bubbling just beneath the surface. Even now, when she's baring her heart and soul to him, he can't make time for her. "Fine. Forget it, then."
With the Highwind nearing completion, Reeve begins to become anxious.
With the Highwind nearing completion, it means that Rufus will have the means to travel north, to where Charlie, Cloud, and all of their friends will be heading in the hopes of meeting Sephiroth and putting an end to it all.
Reeve has to believe that, if it came down to it, Charlie's new friends would protect her from harm. He has to believe that they would try their hardest to keep her away from Rufus, to keep her from being brought back to Midgar, but he also knows that her inability to be honest and open with people isn't helping her case, and with people like Barret still so indifferent towards her, Reeve can't say with confidence that any of them are willing to die for her.
Cid Highwind would die for her.
The thought niggles at the back of his mind. As angry as the pilot makes him, Reeve knows he has no right to be angry with Charlie. They aren't engaged anymore, and she doesn't belong to him. She can do whatever she likes with whomever she likes, and it's none of his business.
Just like it always has been.
He knows that she's upset with him for leaving their serious conversation a few days ago, but that couldn't be helped. Rufus had blindsided him, demanding information, slightly drunk. She had been right in the middle of a very heartfelt and heartbreaking confession, and of course her brother had to spoil the moment, even unknowingly.
But he had heard every word, heard her voice ringing in his head, and her sharp little fine that made her sound like a petulant teenager again. And with her keeping her distance, he's been able to think about things.
He spends a long time wondering if he's ever known any part of Charlie's "real self", and he thinks he has. Those moments had been very numbered, and whenever she would catch herself in her moment of vulnerability, she would immediately clamp up and change the subject deftly, putting on one of her camera smiles to assure him everything was completely fine, and there was nothing wrong at all so he needn't worry about her one bit.
He can't deny that it is odd to see her with Cloud and the others. Reeve has always known her as President Shinra's daughter and Rufus Shinra's sister, because no one would ever let him forget it. Since meeting her, he's known her to be a very charismatic and happy youth in spite of everything.
To some people, having the Turks as their primary caregivers might have sucked the fun out of everything, but Charlie had made the most of it, had accepted love from anyone who was willing to give it, no matter who they were or the things they were responsible for.
And to see her now, to see her interact with other people who don't expect her to keep up that act . . . to see her so humble, so insecure, so defeated and exhausted and despairing . . . Reeve wonders if that's how she's felt her entire life, finally comfortable enough to express that without the expectations of her family weighing on her.
It amazes him, as well, how long and how well she had managed to keep up that facade.
It was easy for her to smile and keep going. Perhaps she was right. That was all the people wanted to see of her. They didn't care how she felt. They didn't care about her sadness, her hurt, her pain. They wanted Charlotte Shinra to smile, to laugh, to flip her hair and look pretty, and it was easier to laugh than to try and convince them her feelings mattered.
It's why the dirty magazines sold better than the ones where she talked engineering jargon.
It's why her father put her in front of the camera instead of himself or Heidegger or Rufus.
But Reeve can't help her unless she wants him to. It's a painful revelation, but an honest one.
There's nothing he can do unless she decides to open up to him, and after the terrible way their last conversation ended, he doesn't think she'll be opening up to him anytime soon.
In regards to her other request, however, Reeve has learned a bit more.
After digging through company records for hours by himself, he hadn't come once upon any report that included SOLDIER First Class Cloud Strife. He seems to have been removed from the company completely, but he's not the only one.
There had been nothing about Zack in those files, either, and out of complete curiosity, Reeve found himself looking up anything in regards to Angeal, Genesis, and Sephiroth.
There had been nothing of interest on any of them, only reports that mentioned them in passing, years before any of them became aware of anything. Angeal's records stop after he had been assigned to a mission in Wutai, but Reeve knows that Tseng had access to the information about Charlie's SOLDIER, so there must be something around the massive Shinra Building that will clue him into Cloud's identity.
Charlie hadn't been pleased with that answer, but she hadn't blamed him, either. She knows as well as he does that many of Shinra's darker secrets had likely died with her father.
He'll have to plan another trip to Junon soon. Perhaps Tseng will have some more information.
"What the hell is this place?"
"Modeoheim," Cait Sith answers him. "An abandoned town now, but Shinra scientists used to live here when it was still a mako extraction sight."
"Stop," Charlie commands them all, before Cait Sith even finishes his sentence.
Cid turns around, along with the rest of their party, to stare at her. The snow is coming down hard now, her cheeks and the tip of her nose all pink, fat snowflakes melting in her hair and on her eyelashes. "Somethin' wrong, Lottie?"
"We gotta keep moving," Cloud insists, turning back around and making to go around the ghost town. "Or else we'll never make it through the storm."
"Please," Charlie says again, looking desperate. "Can't we stay here tonight?"
"There ain't nothin' here, honey," Cid tells her. It's probably better if she hears it from him than Barret. "We'll get snowed in. Let's keep movin', okay? It's too cold to be sleepin' in a place without any heat."
He doesn't miss the way she looks to Cait Sith, as if hoping for him to appeal to Cloud on her behalf. The cat sighs and squeezes the fluffy body of his moogle. "Maybe she's right," he says. "At least there's shelter here, and we've been walkin' through all this snow for hours, and we don't wanna be caught up in a storm with nowhere around for miles."
"Is there something you're not telling us?" Tifa asks, looking around at the rusty old town they've come upon. "Charlie, what's here?"
"I bet there's some materia hidden around here," Yuffie adds. "Right, Charlie?"
"Maybe," Charlie admits carefully.
"We ain't got time to fuck around!" Barret says in a rough and gruff voice. "It's freezin' out here, and we still got a ways to go!"
"Please." This time, Charlie appeals directly to Cloud, placing her hands together like she's praying. She must want this real bad, but Cid can't say he understands what it is about this place that Charlie likes so much. "Cloud, I'm asking you. Please."
In the end, Cloud agrees, and no one protests when they find shelter from the snow.
They all gather in an empty warehouse to start a fire and rest and eat, but Charlie doesn't join them. She goes off on her own the first minute she gets, slipping away from them before anyone had even noticed that she was gone. No one really seems to worry, but after a few hours, Cid can't take it anymore.
"Fuck it. I'm gonna go find Lottie," he announces to no one in particular, standing up, putting his boots back on, bundling up, and heading back out into the storm.
He follows her footprints and finds her in a big empty room of an old bathhouse, kneeling on the ground with her back to him and swiping snow aside. The snow still falls on her hunched shoulders here, what with the collapsed roof above her, the stars out in force to decorate the pitch black night sky.
Cid watches her for a moment from the doorway. Every so often she sniffles or coughs hoarsely into her elbow, coming down with a cold. She's been sniffling for days now, but hasn't complained about it. He admires her for it, especially when she continues to walk with them despite looking dead on her feet, always sleeping soundly through the nights.
"What'cha doin' out here all by your lonesome, little lady?"
Charlie starts with a gasp, looking over her shoulder at him. When he walks forward slowly, her look of surprise turns to a small smile.
"You're gonna get even sicker." Despite this, he kneels beside her, in the thin layer of snow on the ground. "So what's your deal with this place? You been here before?"
"No, it's my first time." She wipes the pink tip of her nose with her sleeve.
"Then why was it so important for us to stop here?"
Charlie brushes her hand over the floor in front of her, pulling away after a moment to cradle her hand to her chest. Cid looks down. The floor looks stained here, a dark stain that looks like old blood.
It takes her a long time to speak. She looks contemplative, occasionally glancing at him as if unsure whether to speak at all. But finally, she does.
"Eight years ago, I met a SOLDIER First Class."
He listens quietly.
"I thought the world of him," she says, splaying her hands against her thighs. Even her fingers are pink and wet from the snow. "When he couldn't call me, we would write letters. I would spend hours in the training room watching him." Her lips curl into a smile. "He was from Banora, and once, after coming back from visiting his mother, he brought a whole sack of dumbapples and demanded that I try one. It was the first time I ever saw one in my life."
"Like in Wutai."
"Like in Wutai," she repeats warmly, nodding. "I still have the last picture he ever sent me."
"So he was your boyfriend?"
"No, not really. We never kissed or talked about our plans for the future. We never really even said we liked each other in words. At least . . . not to each other." She sounds sad saying it. "I was over the moon for him, and he promised to take me on a real date one day, but it never happened."
"Why not?"
"He did what soldiers do." Charlie lifts her head and looks right at him. "He was dispatched on a mission and never came home."
Maybe that explains why she's so fucking flighty all the time. But what the hell does this have to do with some ruined old bathhouse?
"The official reports read that he was killed in action, but . . . a few weeks ago, I . . ." She clears away some more of the snow that's gathered on the ground. "I learned terrible things. Tseng showed me the report he wrote himself, showed me reports about the horrible experiments that made Angeal . . . and the truth . . ."
"The truth?"
"That he was killed here, in Modeoheim, months after he defected and went missing, by another SOLDIER First Class," she continues, slightly hesitant. "It's all classified information, of course, but Angeal was a product of the Jenova Project, like Sephiroth."
That's a fucking lot to unpack. Cid feels like her life must have been exciting if her first love had been someone comparable to fucking Sephiroth. He knows she doesn't mean to hurt him, but goddamnit she knows how to make a man feel small.
"It was like he never even existed after that. No one talked about him, or reminisced about him. But Tseng and I, we remembered." She lowers her head. "And now . . . I remember."
He doesn't even know what to say, but maybe she just wants him to listen.
"Sorry," she whispers, swiping the tears out of her eyes. "It feels good to talk about it."
"Then keep talkin'. I'll listen. Whatever you want."
Charlie looks at him again, considering him, sizing him up. She could eat him alive if she wanted to, and he wouldn't do a damn thing to stop her. "You know what's funny?"
"What?"
"Angeal had a sword," she explains, looking very troubled. "It was given to him by his father, he said, and he hardly ever used it."
"What's so funny 'bout that?" Cid asks.
"Well, it's the same sword that Cloud uses."
He blinks at her for a minute. "I don't follow, honey."
"Cid . . ." She sighs heavily. "Never mind. I shouldn't, I'm sorry."
Cid bristles, understanding that clear enough. "Company secrets, huh?" he hisses, feeling guilty for his surging anger, but unable to stop it. "But you and that fuckin' spy seem to get along just fine, always whisperin' when you think no one's lookin'."
"What are you saying?" Charlie snaps back, quickly getting defensive.
"Whose side are you really on anyway?"
He expects her to answer right away, to attempt to distance herself from the company, but she hesitates.
"Company girl through and through, ain't you?"
Cid can't really explain why it makes him so fucking mad. Maybe he's just tired. They've been through a lot in the past week or so. She doesn't even dispute it, and it makes him angrier.
"The Shinra company is all I've known, Cid. I am so sorry. But you've known that. I've never hidden that from you."
He scoffs, which only angers her. "I told you years ago that your brother was unhinged. It's still true. Dunno how you can't see that."
"Cid, please . . . I don't want to fight with you right now."
Despite his anger, it's strange to hear her accept defeat. When she looks at him again, her eyes look pretty heavy. Cid lifts a hand to touch her bright red cheeks, her forehead. Her skin is fire beneath his fingertips.
"Holy shit, Lottie," he breathes, suddenly flooded with concern. "You're burnin' up."
"I'm okay."
He holds her gaze for a moment, but doesn't believe her. Thankfully, it doesn't take much to convince her to come back to camp.
"Damn, Charlie. You don't look so hot."
Cloud pushes Yuffie gently away from Charlie. "There's a village a few miles north of here. Think you'll be able to make it?"
It takes Charlie a moment to answer Cloud. Her eyes are glazed over as she stares at him, oblivious to the rest of their party, all watching on. "I'm fine," she says hoarsely. "Let's keep going."
Charlie leaves the warehouse with Tifa and Nanaki. They all filter out until it's just Cid and Yuffie left. "She's not gonna make it," Yuffie scoffs, giving the air a few rapid punches. "But I'm impressed she made it this far."
Cid pulls Charlie along by the hand, clearing a path through the snow for her. They move a little slower than the rest of the party, but Vincent and Cait Sith linger with them, just to make sure they don't lose Charlie along the way.
"Lottie, honey, you good?"
"Never been better."
"I appreciate the effort, kiddo, but you gotta tell me the truth now."
"Really, I'm okay. We're almost there. Don't worry about me."
"Ah," Cid sighs, smiling weakly down at her, "can't help that."
"Sign says one more mile." Barret turns around to look at Cid and Charlie in the distance. "Gonna make it, Shinra?"
Charlie doesn't answer. She stumbles, releases Cid's hand, and falls face forward into the snow.
"Lottie!"
Everyone circles around her, and Barret sighs heavily, flipping her over in the snow. Her eyes are closed, snow all over her lashes, lips chapped and slightly parted.
Vincent presses fingers to her throat. "Once she's somewhere warm, she'll be fine. She's feverish."
"Oh, man," Yuffie says, looming over Charlie. "That's just sad. I wish I had a camera. Are we just gonna leave her here or what?"
"We can't just leave her here," Cait Sith says quickly, exasperated. "Are you crazy?"
"Well are we just gonna stand here or what?" Cid hisses.
"I swear she did this on purpose," Barret grumbles, picking her up with one arm like a ragdoll, throwing her over his shoulder. "Leave it to Miss Shinra to hitch a ride while we're all walkin'."
"Well," Cid stammers, folding his arms over his chest, "you know, I could'a carried her, too."
"Relax, Captain. She ain't awake to be impressed by your feats of strength right now."
Tifa giggles behind her hand.
"Okay, okay," Cid snaps, blushing heatedly, "that's enough."
"Let's go already!" Cait Sith protests, hopping forward. "We gotta get her to a doctor."
Barret shrugs his shoulder, shifting Charlie. "She'll be fine," he answers. "I ain't gonna let the death of the vice president hang on my conscience. Got too much hangin' there already."
"Sounds like someone's warming to her," Nanaki teases, looping along after Cait Sith.
"She's good entertainment sometimes, that's it. Good for a laugh. Don't tell her I said that."
"Barret, why wouldn't you tell her you think she's funny?" Tifa asks, still giggling as she adjusts the scarf that's slipping from around Charlie's neck. "I think it's sweet."
"Sweet!" Barret roars, but everyone laughs at him. Cid finds the laughter pulled from him without his consent, and even Vincent's shoulders shake slightly. "I'll show y'all the meaning of sweet!"
Cloud blocks Barret's progress, hands on his hips. There's an amused smile playing at his lips.
"You got somethin' to say?" Barret asks stiffly.
Cloud shrugs, shaking his head. "Just taking in the situation, is all."
It only serves to make them laugh harder.
Cid only wishes Charlie was awake to share the laughter with them.