Emma looked at her. Her green eyes were wide. Her cheeks pink and her lips slightly parted. "You're ready for…."
Regina nodded and studied Emma's face. Looked deeply into her green eyes. She looked surprised, definitely. But was she also shocked? Regina felt insecure for a moment. Had she misread the situation completely? She took the note and pencil wrote underneath the first statement: 'if you are'. Then she pushed the note back to Emma with hands that trembled slightly.
"You're... You're absolutely sure about this?" Emma asked breathlessly and looked at her.
Regina willingly met Emma's eyes and nodded. Absolutely. Yes. She was ready. She was nervous, of course. Anything else would be strange, but by all the gods, she was ready. She wanted this. Wanted Emma. Wanted Emma to touch her.
Emma's breath came out ragged. Almost like a sob.
Regina frowned in concern. Was it too much? Was she too much? Too overwhelming?
Emma leaned forward and took her hands between her own. "I love you."
Oh. Regina smiled at that. Then leaned forward and captured Emma's lips in another soft kiss. Felt how Emma gently squeezed her hands.
This was happening. Regina's stomach did a flipflop that was a perfect mixture of excitement and nervousness. They were really doing this. At last. Regina was not afraid. How could she be that when Emma was right here? Emma would take care of her. Like she always did. The excitement rolled about in her stomach like it somehow had a mind of its own. Perhaps it did. Regina was grateful to feel it. Grateful that she was capable of feeling it. When she first started dating Emma, she had been so afraid that she never would get to a point where she wanted more than kissing. But now she was here, and she was feeling the desire rush through her like wildfire. And she was not afraid of it. Nor was she afraid of feeling desired. Emma's eyes on her wasn't a cause for anxiety. It was a cause for her heart skipping beats for all the right reasons. A cause for her skin heating up and something stirring low in her belly.
The way Emma looked at her didn't make her feel dirty and useable. It made her feel strong and beautiful and confident. And wanted. For all the right reasons. There was nothing selfish about Emma's way of looking at her. There was only love and respect, and tonight Regina would give herself completely and wholly. Tonight she was not afraid of anything. Tonight the world had shrunk until it only consisted of her and Emma and their love for one another. Nothing else mattered besides them tonight. They had waited so long. Because it was necessary. Because it was the right thing to do. But tonight there would be no more waiting. Tonight, the time was finally, finally right, and although she was nervous, Regina was also so, so happy.
Emma gently broke the kiss. Regina smiled when she looked into her eyes. Was Emma searching for signs that she had changed her mind? She wouldn't find any. What about nervousness? Was there any sign of that in her eyes?
Perhaps. But it wasn't anything that she couldn't control. Regina could not feel herself start to drift, nor was there any memories pressing against her skull. She was still very much right there. And she WANTED to be here.
Emma cupped her cheek, and Regina found herself blushing under the touch although Emma was only touching her cheek. She wasn't very good at controlling herself tonight. Nor did she need to be. She flashed Emma another little smile. Then leaned in and covered her mouth with her own. Deepened the kiss quickly and wrapped her arms around Emma's waist, tugging her closer. Was delighted when she heard Emma moan. Then nibbling gently at her bottom lip. That had Regina moaning and tightening her grip on Emma's waist just a little. She needed her closer, closer, closer! Couldn't get enough of her. Not tonight. Not ever.
Her cheeks were cupped again. The tip of Emma's tongue teasingly tracing the seam of her mouth. Regina parted her lips and reveled in the moan Emma made when their tongues met and brush against each other.
Regina wanted more of that. She wanted more of everything. And she wanted it right now. Without breaking the kiss and without loosening her grip around Emma's waist, she shifted and lied back on the couch, pulling Emma down on top of her. An action that once had caused her so much anxiety, came so easily to her tonight. Thanks to the way she had worked with herself, and thanks to Emma's kindness and patience through it all, pulling Emma down on top of her, was the most natural thing in the world now. There was no fear or anxiety. Only the softest ripples of pleasure.
Oh god, this was absolutely perfect! Emma's body fitted so perfectly on top of hers. Her breasts were pressing into Regina's, and the evidence of Emma's arousal was quite clear against Regina's thin blouse. She could feel Emma's hard nipples against her chest. Just as Emma had to be able to feel hers. There was nothing embarrassing about that. Regina was entirely past the point of feeling embarrassed at her reactions. Tonight, she would let her instincts lead her. Tonight she would let go entirely.
Regina tangled her fingers into Emma's hair. She gently tugged and then caressed her scalp in the way she knew Emma loved. And she was richly rewarded with another moan. Almost a mewling sound. That sound did things to Regina's. To her mind and her body. Of course she was reacting to Emma's sounds and presence. But tonight she would not try to excuse it like she always did. Tonight it was perfectly appropriate to react like this.
They kissed and kissed. Regina changed the pressure. Soft, then firm. Deep. Then light. Gently, gently. As gentle as the way she traced her fingers along Emma's spine. Once she let her hand settle on Emma's lower back, she was once again rewarded with another little sound from Emma. Such a perfect, soft little sound it was.
Without moving her hand from Emma's lower back, Regina shifted and allowed their legs to entangle. Almost in the same way they had that night in the log house. That had been a perfect night. And Regina had a strong feeling that this night would be just as perfect. If not more.
Emma Swan was a good kisser. Emma Swan knew what she was doing. And she knew exactly when to do it. She kissed Regina in a particular way that had Regina involuntarily tugging slightly at Emma's hair.
Emma repeated the motion, teasing Regina's tongue with her own, and this time Regina moaned sharply. God, that felt good! In a moment she wouldn't be able to think a coherent thought. Perhaps she should resume what she had been doing a moment ago. Unbutton her blouse. It didn't matter that this was the couch. The room was nice and warm, and Emma felt so perfect on top of her. Regina saw absolutely no reason to move their glorious activities to a different location.
Emma nibbled teasingly at her lower lip. Then pulled back. Very carefully.
Regina couldn't pretend that she wasn't a bit disappointed at that, but she had a feeling why Emma was doing it. Her own lips had started to tingle a bit and she had a feeling that was what was going on with Emma.
Emma smiled down at her and Regina returned the smile. She was sure she looked like a mess with her mussed up hair, swollen lips and red cheeks, but she was also sure that Emma found her to be a beautiful mess. They maintained eye contact for a moment, but now Emma wasn't checking for anxiety. No, the look in her eyes was different. It was a look of wonder. A look saying, 'I can't believe that this is happening'. Regina was sure she had the same look in her own eyes. Because she couldn't believe it either. That they finally were here. That this truly was going to happen. And that she wasn't afraid of it.
Emma bowed her head and started kissing her cheeks, her jaw, while murmuring declarations of love in between the kisses. Over and over again she repeated the sentiment whilst pressing kiss after kiss to Regina's cheeks and jaw.
'I love you too,' Regina managed to write on Emma's back. Her fingers trembled a bit, but she hoped that Emma still would be able to understand it.
Emma kissed her jaw again. "I," her cheek. "Love," her temple. "You!" the softest of kisses were pressed to her forehead. "I love you." Her other temple. "So much!" her other cheek. "So, so much!"
Regina moaned and shivered as Emma continue down to her jaw. "God, I love you, Regina!" when Emma kissed the hinge of her jaw and swirled her tongue in that particular way she moaned again. Shifted underneath Emma. Tried to press her thighs together to get some stimulation where she was starting to nearly burn. Her grip on Emma's back might have tightened a little when she felt Emma shift, and Regina's first and immediate thought was that Emma absolutely not- under-any-circumstances was allowed to move. For a moment, she considered apologizing for that, but then their breasts brushed together again, and she was entirely too distracted to remember anything about apologizing.
Emma lifted her head and they made eye contact again. Regina felt like a silly teenage girl with the way she was panting and not able to control her breathing. But she didn't want to apologize for it. Apologize was something she had done far too much of in her lifetime, and there would be no more apologizing tonight. Instead she smiled up at Emma and was rewarded with a wobbling little smile in return. Emma looked like her thoughts were drifting. Regina could see it in her eyes. Was she getting overwhelmed? If so, that was perfectly okay. Regina skated her fingers up and down Emma's back. Not in an attempt to make her continue where they left off, but simply to show Emma that it was alright to feel overwhelmed for a moment. It was okay to need a break. Regina understood that better than most people, and she didn't mind it one bit when she felt Emma's body going limp on top of her own. That was perfectly alright too. Emma wasn't the slightest bit heavy, and even if she had been, Regina would never feel weighted down by her. Emma's weight on top of her was not something to be afraid of. Quite the reverse. Emma's weight on top of her was now something that was grounding her and making her feel her body. Connect with it. Yes, once again, Emma had turned a horrible thing into something good. That was the ability she had. To make all the wrong things right again.
Emma shifted on top of her again. Moved herself off of Regina and then sitting back on her heels.
Regina couldn't pretend that she wasn't a bit bothered by that. It had been so nice, having Emma on top of her. But perhaps it wasn't as comfortable for Emma as it was for her. Maybe she had a cramp somewhere. Or maybe she wanted to switch position. Regina would be more than alright with that. She too sat up and thoroughly ignored the very slight stab of pain in her lower back. How rude it was of her body to remind her how long it had been since she'd had a lengthy makeout-session with a partner on top of her.
She forgot about her body's complains when Emma gently cupped her cheek. "Hi. You feel okay?"
Regina nodded in affirmative. She felt better than okay. And very eager to continue. She glanced down at her half-open blouse. That seemed like a good place to start. Feeling determinated as never before, Regina captured a button between her thumb and index finger and twisted it through the buttonhole. So far so good. Sure, it was a little daunting to take her clothes off, but it was definitely not something to be afraid of.
She was about to undo the fifth button in her blouse but was stopped when Emma gently grasped her hand and stilled her movements. "Not here," Emma said softly.
The first thought popping up in Regina's mind was 'why not?', and she frowned. But then she acknowledged that perhaps the couch wasn't the best place to do this after all. She nodded. Not here.
"The bed is so much more comfortable," Emma said softly. "And bigger. There's better room for the two of us."
Regina nodded again. And felt a very small tickle of nervousness somewhere in her stomach. Just the tiniest twinge. She had a quick, inner talk with herself. Yes, they would be in the bedroom, and yes, they would be in a bed. But that wasn't something scary. The bedroom was a good place. And so was the bed. Why on earth should she be afraid of being naked in the bed she had co-slept with Emma in? That would be absolutely silly.
There was nothing to be afraid of.
Emma lifted her hand and kissed each of her knuckles, and the tickle of anxiety disappeared just as quickly as it had shown up. Warmth spread through her body once more as Emma took her other hand and repeated each kiss to her knuckle. Then she turned Regina's hand over and kissed her palm. And she didn't stop there. Once done kissing her palm, she proceeded to rub it and draw random patterns. It felt nice. Soothing.
Did she know? Had Emma caught sight of a brief flicker of anxiety in Regina's eyes? Regina silently answered the question. Yes. Yes, Emma had done just that. Because that was the thing with Emma. She always just knew. It didn't matter that Regina didn't have a voice to speak with. Emma still understood her completely. She recognized all the little signs. Saw all the little hints. And sometimes even before Regina became aware of them. If she bit her lip because she was thinking of something less pleasant, she could always count on Emma to do something sweet. Make a goofy remark about needing her lip in one piece, or come over and kiss her cheek.
Emma was the epitome of an attentive partner.
Regina leaned in. Once again searching for a kiss, and she was immediately granted one. This one was less frantic and gentler. But still completely wonderful.
Emma cupped her cheeks with her warm, warm hands, and the fraction of anxiety Regina had felt, disappeared and she let out a soft sigh of pure contentment as Emma gently pecked her lips again and again. Emma's hands moved from her cheeks and to her hair, and Regina was utterly delighted about this. Most of her daydreams this week had involved Emma's fingers in her hair. She loved having Emma's fingers in her hair. Sometimes it was positively sleep inducing when Emma had her fingers in her hair. But not tonight obviously. Tonight, Regina was the least tired she had ever been.
After a moment of soft little kisses, Emma pulled back, and that was probably a good thing. Regina had started to feel a little out of breath. Once Emma had pulled away, Regina discreetly glanced towards the staircase. Felt a tug of excitement somewhere low in her stomach.
Emma grasped her hand and started to massage her palm once more. It was clear as day that she was giving Regina time to decide.
But Regina had already decided. She turned her head and looked at Emma. Bit her lip in slight anticipation.
"Do you want to go upstairs?" Emma asked softly.
Regina nodded quickly. Yes, she very much wanted to go upstairs!
"Okay." Emma shifted and came to standing position in front of her. She extended a hand out towards her and Regina took it. Tried to ignore the way her fingers seemed to twitch slightly. She could live with that. As long as her hands weren't sweaty. And as far as she could judge, they weren't.
She stood from the couch and flashed Emma a little smile as they went towards the staircase. Emma kept holding on to her hand as they ascended the staircase, and Regina concentrated on her breathing. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale, exhale. Long, deep breaths coming all the way from her stomach. She bit her lip. A bad habit. A bad, nervous habit. But it was alright to be nervous. As long as she wasn't anxious. And that she was not.
They reached the half-open door to Emma's bedroom. Emma gave her hand a little squeeze and flashed her a soft smile. That made Regina feel slightly bolder, and she went inside the bedroom first. A second later, Emma followed suit.
Well, here they were then. Regina stood in the middle of the room and considered next step. Her eyes flickered towards the bed in the center of the room. The very large bed. Should she simply climb up the bed and wait for Emma to join her?
No. Emma had other plans. Her arms encircled Regina's waist and drew her in closer. She kissed her again. Regina immediately returned the kiss and threw her arms around Emma's neck. This kiss was tender too. Not quite as intense as they one they had shared on the couch. But still loaded with something.
Emma's soft fingers were skimming up and down her back. Her cheek did that little trembling motion it always did whenever she was smiling into the kiss. Regina loved the idea of Emma smiling into the kiss, and she shifted to stand on her tippy toes in order to be tall enough to completely reach Emma. She liked the idea of that. Emma being taller than her. There was something undeniably sexy about that.
As there was something undeniably sexy about Emma's hands slipping lower and lower until they were resting on her ass. Regina froze for a split second. She hadn't expected that, but she was definitely not unhappy.
"Oh," came Emma's breathless voice. Perhaps she hadn't expected it either. Perhaps it hadn't been a conscious touch.
Well then. Regina gave her a little smile and raised an eyebrow. Emma's roaming hands were definitely sexy too.
Emma chuckled (her voice was a bit rougher than normally) as she leaned in and kissed Regina again.
Regina let one hand cup the back of Emma's head while pressing the other firmly against her lower back. Emma responded with quick, teasing nibbles to her bottom lip, and Regina felt herself tether slightly. It was her turn to smile when Emma's hand pressed against her back. Emma had felt her tether and was now preventing her from doubling over. Ever the attentive partner. Even while kissing.
It felt like there was no oxygen left in her lungs when they parted, but Regina still found the capacity to return the smile Emma was flashing her. Another reassurance that everything was okay.
She took a second to gather her thoughts. None of them were panic-y. Good. Then she could move on to the next step. And the next step had to be to get rid of some of her clothes. It was starting to feel tight anyway. And warm. Way too warm.
Regina moved her hands to the line of buttons in her blouse. This time, she was definitely taking that damn blouse off. No more excuses. She firmly took hold of that goddamn button, but as she was about to twist it through the buttonhole, she was stopped again. By Emma who gently put a hand on her cheek. Which of course was very nice. But also halting the undressing process just a bit.
Regina looked up at her and for a very silly moment, she imagined that Emma had changed her mind about this. God, that would be devastating.
"Can I do that?" Emma softly asked and nodded towards the line of buttons in Regina's blouse.
Oh. Alright. Regina nodded. She wasn't sure why she hadn't considered that Emma would want to undress her, but she should have. Undressing your partner for the first time was romantic.
"You're sure? If you wanna do it yourself that's completely fine too," Emma said softly.
No-no. Regina shook her head firmly and grasped Emma's hand. Guided it to the button in her blouse.
Emma came a little closer as she carefully twisted the button and then worked it through the buttonhole.
She was being so gentle and careful. But Regina still saw it for a split second.
Her blouse being torn to shreds by rough hands.
Tiny delicate buttons flying through the room. Bouncing against the walls and then landing on the floor. Just like she had a moment later.
Her breath quickened.
A warm hand on her cheek now. A gentle murmur of: "Regina. Hey. Look at me."
Regina followed the soft plead and looked up at Emma. Yes. Emma.
"It's me," Emma said so softly, and the gentle reassurance wrapped around Regina like a warm blanket. Yes, of course it was Emma. Who else would it be? The brief flashback had already disappeared.
No harm could come to her in this bedroom.
"If you want to do this yourself it's completely fine," Emma continued, hand already moving away from her blouse.
But Regina shook her head and made a 'go on'-gesture with her hands. She had just realized that she WANTED Emma to take off her blouse. That truly would be the best way to… not erase the memory, unfortunately that wasn't a possibility, but then to soften the memory of the last person who had taken off her blouse.
Once again, Emma would turn something bad into something good.
Emma came closer again. Began to slowly unbutton her blouse. Regina made sure to take those deep, steadying breaths. They helped. As did the way Emma kept looking her in the eyes. A cold chill made her stomach muscles tighten slightly. The camisole didn't provide her with much warmth. Now the blouse was nothing more than two halves hanging loosely from her shoulders.
"Can I…" Emma did not finish the sentence. She simply gestured slightly at the gaping blouse.
Regina nodded her consent, and the chilled sensation was replaced with warmth as Emma gently lifted the blouse and pushed it down her shoulders. Past her elbows and wrists. Then it landed on the floor with a quiet thud and Regina rubbed her bare arms slightly. No, the flimsy black camisole with the thin straps definitely didn't provide with much warmth. Nor cover. A quick glance down her chest told her that her nipples were very visible and nearly pushing against the fabric.
"God, you're beautiful."
The completely sincere compliment that most of all sounded like a plead to the gods had Regina smiling and coming closer to Emma again. She smoothened a hand over Emma's hip. Drew a random pattern from it and to her lower back. Froze for a split second when she felt Emma's lips connect with her bare shoulder. That was a new thing. But a good thing. It felt good. She exhaled softly. Started to feel a little bold as she let her fingers crawl up under Emma's grey tanktop. Her bare skin felt very soft and warm.
Emma shuddered under her touch. Her voice was rough when she asked: "You wanna take that off, beautiful?"
Yes. More than anything. Regina's fingers automatically curled around the hem of Emma's tanktop, but before she could let herself become TOO bold, she looked up at Emma. Silently searching for spoken consent. She needed that before continuing anything. She had vowed to be as gentle and considerate as Emma was.
"It's okay," Emma hoarsely assured. "Go ahead and take it off."
With the consent given, Regina carefully lifted the hem of Emma's tanktop and began to draw it up her body until it was sort of bundled around her neck. Emma helped her along and pulled the tanktop the rest of the way over her head. It landed on the floor. Regina didn't see where. She was much too busy looking at the vision that was Emma Swan in only her skinny jeans and white cotton bra.
Gods above, she was beautiful! Regina instinctively lifted a hand, itching to touch Emma. She bit her lip as she let her hand hover only inches from Emma's bare stomach.
"Yes," Emma breathed. "Touch me. Please."
Honestly, that was all the encouragement Regina needed. She put her hands on Emma's bare stomach and reveled in the slightly delirious sigh Emma let out.
Regina was enthralled. Emma's stomach was both soft and hard at the same time. The muscles seemed to ripple every time Regina touched her. She moved her fingertips up and down the soft skin with no particular plan until an idea entered her mind. She had to concentrate more than usually as she wrote 'beautiful' on Emma's bare stomach.
Are you... Are you writing 'beautiful'?" Emma breathed.
Busted. And in the best way possible. Regina nodded in confirmation. Yes. Yes, she was. Because beautiful was exactly what Emma was.
And curious was exactly what Regina was. She wanted to explore. Was so eager to touch all the unknown parts of Emma's beautiful body. So as Emma closed her eyes, Regina started by moving her hands up to Emma's arms. From her shoulders to her wrists and back up again. Emma's muscles tensed as Regina touched, and Regina reminded herself to someday dedicate an entire kissing session to Emma's arms. Those wonderfully muscular arms and slightly broad shoulders. Could have been perceived as rough features, but it wasn't. Because Emma was so soft at the same time. Soft yet strong. Absolutely perfect.
She put her hands on Emma's stomach again, fascinated when she felt goosebumps pebble under her fingers. Emma trembled slightly and Regina gave her stomach a little break. She ran her fingertips up and down Emma's sides. Another area that was new.
Emma squirmed a bit and made a near chuckling sound. "Ticklish."
Would she perhaps start giggling if Regina touched her there again? Part of Regina was itching to find out, but the majority of her was reminding the small part that a tickling session was not the goal with all of this. So she settled for smiling and rumbling lightly in response as Emma looked at her. Her cheeks had flushed so beautifully again. Kissing her was tempting too, but Regina could feel that she wasn't done yet. She was still so curious to explore, so she went back to trailing her fingers up and down Emma's abdomen. That too felt rather muscular. Goodness. If she didn't stop this soon, her mouth would end up watering. What was it about muscular abdomens?
Emma moaned softly. Her head started to droop slightly, and Regina could see that she had closed her eyes again. She was comfortable. Good. So was Regina. But now also very aware that there still was a couple of places she hadn't yet touched. One of the places wasn't for now, but the other places…
She let her hand slowly crawl up Emma's stomach and up to her right breast. If there was a place Regina was nearly desperate to touch, it surely would have to be that.
Emma let out a quiet little yelp and immediately leaned into Regina's hand on her breast, causing the breast to press more firmly against Regina's palm. "God, Regina!"
Regina sighed a little in response. Yes, exactly as soft as she had imagined. Soft and perfectly shaped. It fitted right in her palm. So very, very perfect.
Admittedly, wiggling her hand inside the cup of Emma's bra was a very tempting thing to do. Reaching behind Emma and simply take off the bra was another tempting thing to do. But right now, Regina was the one who had the most access. Up until this point, she was the one who had done most of the exploring, and that wasn't entirely fair, was it?
No. No, it was time for Emma to explore too.
And so Regina moved her hand away from Emma's breast and started to free the hem of her camisole from the waistband of her pencil skirt. She was well aware that Emma was looking at her, but Regina didn't feel intimidated by it. She liked it. Liked when Emma looked at her in that particular adoring way.
She lifted the camisole, pulled it over her head and let it fall to the floor. The bedroom was by no means chilly, but Regina still goosebumps erupt on her skin as she stood only in her bra and pencil skirt. Silly, really. This wasn't even the most undressed she had been near Emma. She had been wearing only a bathrobe on the night she showed Emma her neck. For gods sake, she had been naked in the same bed as Emma that same night.
But that had been different. Emma's eyes had been closed then. They were definitely not closed now. Nor should they be. This was not the time to not look. Tonight was all about looking.
And looking Emma most certainly was. To Regina, it felt like she was trying to look at every part of her at the same time. "Can I touch you?" she asked softly.
Regina nodded. Yes, tonight was all about touching too.
Emma reached out and put a soft, warm hand on the very top of her stomach. "Look at you," she breathed. "You are so beautiful."
A genuine compliment. Regina smiled a little and looked down as Emma did what she had done a moment before. Traced her fingers up and down her stomach. It had the same effect on Regina as it had on Emma too. Her breath quickened and her muscles tensed just a little bit.
Everything was so wonderful until she felt Emma's hand falter ever so slightly and her gaze fixate on a particular spot on her stomach. The spot was covered by Emma's warm hand and Regina tensed in the not-so-nice way because she knew exactly what was hiding under Emma's palm.
The mark. Or at least the remainder of it. The boot mark Killian had left when he kicked her in the stomach. The kick that had made her gasp for air. The kick that had left her unable to ever bear anymore children.
"Would you rather that I didn't touch you there?" Emma asked softly.
No. Regina shook her head. As nerve wracking as it was, she did not want Emma to stop touching her there. The mark was not something shameful or taboo. It was a part of her, and she couldn't change that. But hopefully, Emma's gentle touches could the place into somewhere nice to be touched.
"Can I kiss you there?"
Or…. Or kissed. Yes. Definitely. The suggestion certainly took Regina by surprise, but she was very willing to try it. She nodded her head.
"Let me know if it gets too much, okay?" Emma's voice was soft and tender and her movements slow as she kneeled in front of her, putting her mouth in line with the mark on Regina's stomach. She looked up, again asking for consent.
Regina gave it to her in one quick nod.
"You are so beautiful," Emma murmured, and then she slowly leaned in and kissed the mark on Regina's stomach.
The sensation was much stronger than Regina had anticipated. The second Emma's soft lips made contact with her stomach, a half-strangled hiss spilled from her lips, and she threw her head back. God, that felt good!
The mark on her stomach was kissed again. The word 'beautiful' uttered. Another kiss. Another 'beautiful'. Again. Kiss. 'So beautiful'.
Regina swayed slightly and felt her panties dampening when Emma began to slowly kissing her way up her stomach. With each kiss she whispered 'beautiful', and the word echoed in Regina's mind and made her toes curl and more heat pool between her thighs. By the time Emma reached the valley between her breasts, she was panting unabashedly, utterly unable to quieten her reactions.
"Can I kiss you there too?" Emma breathed.
A thousand times yes. Regina nodded frantically, and her world was rocked the littlest bit when Emma's soft mouth kissed in the valley between her breasts. She hissed and threw her head back. Couldn't control herself, nor could she wait.
She grasped Emma's hand and guided it to right breast. Emma gulped slightly but then began to gently knead the flesh, and oh god, it was EXACTLY what she had told Regina to do over the phone. Except tonight, it was actually Emma touching her. She wasn't just a voice in the phone or the figure in the bed Regina couldn't see because her eyes were closed. No, tonight it was Emma. Real, pure Emma.
And fuck, she was so good at touching her!
When she was kissed, Regina immediately cupped the back of Emma's head while pressing the other against her lower back to keep her there for a moment longer. Emma free hand to cup her other breast and Regina moaned into her mouth as she moved her hand from the back of Emma's head and to her front. She unabashedly touched everywhere she could reach. At last they were skin to skin. At last there was no more barriers between them! She was sure she could feel Emma shiver slightly. Good shivers. And so it was slightly surprising to Regina when Emma's hands fell away from her breasts. She fumbled with something. But what? Regina had her eyes closed and couldn't see what was going on.
But when Emma broke the kiss, Regina realized exactly what was going on. Emma was in the midst of unzipping her jeans.
Oh, gods. Regina didn't avert her eyes for a single second as Emma unzipped the jeans and wiggled slightly while pushing them down her legs. When they were pooling around her ankles, she stepped out of them.
Regina just stared wide eyed and opened mouthed at the vision that was Emma Swan in cotton underwear. She looked absolutely stunning. And had Regina been able to talk, she would have used every goddamn word in the vocabulary to tell Emma just that. Now she only had to settle for staring.
But perhaps that was good enough. Emma flashed her a little grin. A kind of shy and adorable one. Regina knew exactly how to respond to that. She grasped Emma's hand and guided it to the zipper in her skirt.
Emma swallowed audibly but her hand did not tremble as she slowly unzipped the skirt. Regina felt how it became looser and looser around her, and when it fell, she did nothing to prevent it. Simply stepped out of it. Now it was her turn to give Emma a look of shyness. She was glad she had chosen to go with the new underwear even though the bra was squeezing her breasts a little. The slight nipping sensation was a cross she was willing to bear. The look in Emma's eyes was entirely worth it. The way those green eyes roamed all over her body made Regina feel like the sexiest woman on the planet.
"You're stunning," Emma said as she looked her in the eyes once more.
Regina blushed and felt a bit silly and to make up for that, she took Emma's hand and guided it to the side of her neck instead. Tonight, she wanted to feel Emma's touches all over. And that included her neck too.
"Is that okay?" Emma asked softly. Perhaps she had felt Regina shiver.
Regina nodded and drew in a breath. And without moving Emma's hand away from her neck, she leaned in and kissed Emma again. Just because she could. Just because she was so relieved that she wasn't scared of feeling Emma's hand on her neck. Like everything else, the touch felt good. So, so good. If it hadn't been for the sudden weakness in her knees, Regina easily could have kept this up for a good few hours. But alas, she was starting to feel rather lightheaded.
"B-babe," Emma murmured against her lips. "I … I need to-"
Regina wasn't exactly sure what it was that Emma needed, but she knew what SHE needed. And that was to be rid of this constricting bra. She broke the kiss and bit her lip slightly as she reached back and unclasped the bra. She tossed it onto the floor and felt the imminent relief. Oh god, that was better. Her nipples had strained so much they almost hurt. They were aching for stimuli. To be touched.
Now she was standing nearly naked in front of Emma, and admittedly, it was a little hard not to feel self-conscious. She had not taken her clothes off in front of anyone for such a long time. She was not in her twenties. She was in her mid-thirties. And she had birthed a child. Of course there were certain areas of her that wasn't as firm as they once were.
"You're a fucking goddess!"
The compliment made Regina smile. A goddess she was hardly, but she could live with being a goddess in Emma's eyes. Yes, she could definitely live with that. As she could live with being utterly spellbound as Emma too reached behind her to unhook her own bra. She seemed to struggle a bit with the clasp, though. Her forehead scrunched slightly in concentration. Regina was on the verge of stepping forward and replacing Emma's hands with her own, but then the bra landed on the floor, and it was too late. Oh well. Perhaps another night then. Regina would enjoy to unclasp Emma's bra another time.
Emma glanced down at her breasts for a split second, and to Regina it very much looked like she was frowning again. But then she looked up once more. Smiled when she met Regina's eyes and perhaps Regina had just imagined that Emma was frowning a moment ago. She certainly had nothing to frown about. She was beautiful. A 'fucking goddess'. Her skin was pale with the lightest dust of freckles scattered here and there. Her breasts pert and perfect in both shape and size. Regina could not wait to get her hands on them. She was almost itching to touch them.
Emma flashed her a smile as she reached out and pushed a stray lock of hair behind Regina's ear. "You wanna get a bit more comfortable?"
Oh. Yes. Regina willingly followed Emma as she walked over to the suddenly enormous looking bed in the middle of the room. As Emma climbed onto it, Regina reminded herself to breathe and not be silly. She was not a sixteen year old girl about to 'loose her virginity' (a rather silly description, really. Regina hadn't 'lost' anything. She knew perfectly well where it went, thank you very much!) she'd had sex before. Lots of it.
But… Not like this. Not without having her voice.
Still, Regina followed Emma's example and climbed onto the bed. She refused to let anxiety get the best of her tonight. She refused to think of how very different this was from her past experiences with intimacy. In many, many ways, this was much more… Well, intimate.
She shifted to lie back on the bed but was stopped by Emma's soft hand on her wrist and equally gentle voice urging: "come here."
It took a moment before Regina understood what Emma meant. The warm, guiding hands on her hips weren't much of a help. At least not until Emma was sitting on the bed. Then Regina understood what Emma was getting at and willingly positioned herself in Emma's lap. She wrapped her legs loosely around Emma's waist and had to swallow down her emotions because it was so abundantly clear why Emma chose this position. So very, very clear.
It was a heated moment between them. It would have made perfect sense if Emma in the throes of passion had chosen to climb on top of her. But she hadn't. Even in this moment, she had once again put Regina first. Once again, she had been so incredibly kind and respectful. That truly meant everything.
She was brought out of her musings when Emma ran her fingers up and down her sides (yes, that was a bit ticklish) and then bowed her head to kiss the top of her chest.
Regina moaned and arched her back. Her eyes slid closed, and her toes curled when Emma slowly kissed her way down her chest. When she felt Emma's hot breath on her nipple, she wiggled impatiently in Emma's lap. She couldn't exactly beg, but she could show her eagerness in other ways.
Emma planted a feather light kiss right on her nipple and Regina's hands immediately flew to golden tresses. Not to pull or yank. But simply to once again show her excitement. She let out a choked sound when Emma gave her nipple a quick, firm lick with the tip of her tongue. Oh god, that felt so good! She tightened her grip on Emma's hair just a little and shivered in pure delight when she felt Emma's blunt fingernails rake up and down her naked back. It felt both soothing and arousing and Regina secretly wondered if this actually could be enough to make her come. She was so wet, so aroused. But she wasn't the only one. She could feel Emma's heat through her panties. Emma swiped her tongue over her nipple again, and Regina wiggled slightly in her lap.
"That's it," Emma murmured against her breast. "Just feel it, babe." She began to dot these little kisses around her nipple before taking it in her mouth and sucking gently.
Oh, how Regina was feeling it! She let out a ragged sound that could have been a sob. Her body had not forgotten how to act during this. Her hips moved with purpose now. The tiniest bit of friction was enough to make her head spin. Emma's free hand was on her other breast now. She kneaded it gently while moving her mouth to the underside of Regina's other breast.
Regina moaned. She was in heaven. Absolute heaven. And god, she had never felt more alive than right now! The way her heart thump-thump-thumped in her chest was so reassuring. The familiar wiggle of her hips as her core reacted to the gentle attention Emma now was giving her other breast only cemented what Regina had known for a while.
This part of her life was not over yet.
This part of her life had never been doomed to lie dormant forever.
She was here.
This was happening.
At last they had come together like this.
Emma licked and sucked and gave the gentlest of little nips. But no teeth were scraping across her skin. Of course Regina had noticed that. And of course she knew that it was a conscious choice on Emma's behalf. Emma never did things with no purpose, and Regina wiggled in her lap and grinded herself against Emma exactly like Emma had grinded herself against her leg that wonderful night in the log house.
Emma's mouth closed around her nipple, and Regina moaned and arched her back, pushed her breast further against Emma's mouth. She combed her fingers through Emma's hair again and again. Her toes curled, her hips rolled, and her underwear felt positively sticky. She was reaching that point where she needed to lie down. Because of the ache between her thighs. But also because of a very different kind of ache in her calf. She had gotten a leg cramp. Ridiculously enough. But also a reminder of just how real this all was.
She wiggled off of Emma and came to lie on the bed instead. The very soft and comfortable bed. Regina panted. Felt so incredibly warm all over. She shifted and inhaled sharply when wetness trickled down her leg.
Emma moved too. Sat close to where Regina was lying. Smiled a little as she reached out and gently caressed her cheek. "You alright?"
Regina nodded and unabashedly squeezed her legs together. Because she needed to. But also to show Emma the reason why she had moved in the first place.
Emma's hand trailed down to rest just above her heart. "You're beautiful. You know that, right?"
Regina smiled and blinked. To her horror, she was starting to feel a bit choked up. Misty-eyed, even. Oh dear god. She thought that this only happened when they did this over the phone, but apparently not. Was this how she reacted to intimacy now? Was she a crier in bed? Well. She had not expected that.
Emma dipped down and kissed her. Her cheek. Her jaw. Her collarbone. Her chest. Regina moaned again when Emma caught a nipple between her lips and sucked gently. When she was positive that she would unravel from that stimulus alone, Emma continued downwards and kissed the underside of her breasts. Her ribcage. That tickled a bit too, and Regina squirmed slightly. Her hands were back in Emma's golden hair. Now and then she almost tugged, but at the very last moment she caught herself and reminded herself not to. It was almost hard to breathe when Emma kissed lower and lower and paid some special attention to her right hip.
Regina felt a pull of excitement low in her belly. Was Emma going to…. Do that? Tonight? Well, she certainly would not mind that.
Emma didn't do that, thought. After a moment, she switched side. Started at her temple and then kissed her way down Regina's body like before. Her jaw. Her chest. Her breast. Sucked her nipple into her mouth and kept it there for a moment. Sucked a bit harder than before. Definitely not hurting her. Only bringing her pleasure. Regina arched her back and wiggled. Dug her heels into the mattress again. Clutched at the back of Emma's head. She felt like the most important person in the entire universe. Emma made her feel like some kind of queen. She was barely able to contain herself when Emma started peppering her stomach with kisses. Her muscles clenched around nothing, and she couldn't think.
Perhaps Emma had felt it. Perhaps that was why she stopped doing what she had been in the middle of. Regina wasn't sure. And right now she couldn't bring herself to open her eyes. Not just yet. She was still much too busy feeling. She squeezed her legs together, once again chasing that stimuli and she moaned when she finally managed to get some. Just the slightest pressure was enough to make her head float. A slight creaking that didn't come from her legs pressing together had her opening her eyes, though, and she had to draw in a sharp intake of breath when she saw what had caused that creaking. Emma had. Emma who was in the middle of taking off her panties. Goodness…
Emma met her gaze and Regina bit her lip. At what she was seeing. And at what she was feeling. Emma was naked now. Good god, how was she supposed to survive that?
Emma flashed her a soft smile as she gently ran her fingers down her body. She stopped when she reached the waistband of her panties. "Can I…?"
A million times yes! Regina's fist connected with the mattress in two quick taps. Her head lolled back, and she tried to breathe normally when she felt Emma's fingers hook in the waistband of her panties. In a moment she would be very, very naked in front of Emma for the very first time, and yes, that was a bit daunting. But in the good way. Regina was not scared. Only relieved when she felt the sodden material being pulled away from her core. She lifted her hips slightly to help the process along and the panties were at her thighs now. Her knees. Her ankles. Regina wiggled slightly and managed to send them flying. She had no idea where they ended up. Nor did she care. She didn't need those right now.
Emma was looking at her. Looking at her most intimate parts. A brief look told Regina that, and she once again congratulated herself with the decision she had made about waxing. An annoying, slightly painful process, but it was entirely worth it. Regina liked being smooth there. Smooth and soft. She parted her legs just the littlest bit. God, she was so wet!
Emma ran her hand down her hip and Regina braced herself in excitement because she was anticipating Emma to touch between her legs in a moment. So when Emma didn't do so, Regina grew curious about what had distracted her. She lifted her head. And the next second she wished that she hadn't. Because Emma had spotted them. The set of the four half-moon shaped scars on her right hip. The fingernail marks Killian had left on the night where he…. The night where he….
The memory was right there. Pressing sharply against the lid of the metaphorical little chest where she kept it all tucked away. Regina refused to let the memory break free and grow in her brain. Not tonight! Please, not tonight!
Emma's lips landed on her hip. Covered the marks entirely and stayed like that for a moment before starting to kiss and kiss the mark. Regina shivered and moaned. The lid to the metaphorical chest stayed locked. No longer was it threatening to pop open. There was only pleasure left. And especially when Emma trailed her kisses up to her belly button and lightly flicked her tongue against it. Regina grabbed a fistful of the blanket and moaned sharper, more delirious as she arched her back. As the pleasure amped up some and the pressure between her legs grew almost unbearable.
She couldn't handle this anymore. She needed more. And for whatever reason, she needed to voice it.
"I-I-I…. N-n-n-n-nee-" Regina couldn't finish the sentence. Her broken voice didn't allow her to. And why was she even trying to talk? What was she hoping to achieve? She honestly did not know. Perhaps she wasn't in her right mind right now. But either way, she shouldn't have tried speaking. That was silly of her. She rubbed her throat slightly.
"Hey," Emma said gently, pressing a soft kiss to her knee. Then shifted so she was lying next to her. "You don't need to talk in order to have a voice. I hear every word you say. Come here."
Willingly, Regina wiggled closer, and Emma took her in her arms. Held her close for a moment. Gave her a soft squeeze. Then asked a question Regina knew very well. "Are you ready to feel more pleasure?"
Regina nodded against Emma's bare shoulder. Yes, she was very ready for that.
"Look at me, babe," Emma encouraged, and Regina lifted her head and looked deeply into those kind, green eyes who appeared to be so dark tonight. But still full of that kindness that was so quintessential Emma.
Their eye contact never broke as Emma's hand slipped lower and lower and at last cupped her core.
Regina shivered uncontrollably at that, and Emma was quick to ask her if she was okay. To which Regina nodded. She was very much okay. She panted and panted as Emma's fingers slowly slipped through her wetness, and when she found her clit with the tip of a finger, Regina's mouth fell open and she shivered again.
"Still good?" Emma softly checked.
Oh yes, more than good! Regina nodded rapidly and bit her bottom lip. Her toes curled and her muscles clenched again.
"Careful, beautiful," Emma said gently. "I don't want you to hurt yourself."
All Regina could do was huff. There was a hint of frustration mixed with her pleasure now. These soft touches felt absolutely wonderful, but she needed more. She needed to REALLY be touched. With purpose.
As though able to detect her frustration, Emma began to circle her clit with a finger. Regina could have cried in sheer relief as her hips began to move again.
"God, you're so beautiful," Emma breathed. "So, so beautiful! You're amazing, Regina." the circles became a bit faster. The pressure a bit firmer.
Regina panted breathlessly and grabbed at Emma's shoulder. She moaned. Could already feel herself growing closer. Which shouldn't be possible because Emma had barely touched her yet.
But… truthfully, Emma had been touching her for months now. Perhaps not physically, but most definitely with her voice.
Lovers was something they had been for a long time. And tonight was only cementing that.
"That's right," Emma softly encouraged her as she continued to circle her clit. "I've got you. I'm right here. Just keep going, babe."
She squeezed her eyes shut and tightened her grip on Emma's shoulder. If she did keep going, she surely would come. And while coming like this would be absolutely amazing, Regina wanted to be the closest to Emma she possibly could be.
She wanted feel Emma in every way possible. Wanted to feel Emma inside her…. She used her free hand to gently take Emma's wrist and push her fingers down until they were right by her entrance. She heard Emma gasp quietly and opened her eyes just in time to see Emma's wide eyes look back at her. Emma's "are you sure?" was ragged.
Regina nodded almost feverishly. Yes, she was sure!
"Okay," Emma said quietly. "But you have to let me know if it becomes too much, alright? Right away. Promise me that."
Of course, of course! Regina nodded again and flashed Emma a little smile. Of course she would tell Emma if something didn't feel right. And Emma would stop immediately. Regina already knew that.
"Okay," Emma said again, finger moving slightly and then pressing lightly against her entrance. "Ready?"
Regina licked her lips as she nodded. She was as ready as she would ever be. She breathed and breathed as she felt Emma's finger slowly and gently slip inside her.
It didn't hurt. It felt strangely unfamiliar for a split second. She fought to recognize it as a good touch and not something she needed to get away from. Her mind didn't fully allow her to believe that she wasn't in any danger. Because for a moment, it was there.
The memory.
Banging on the lid of the metaphorical chest to get out and cause damage in her mind.
A kiss against her jaw. A voice in her ear. "Don't disappear, babe. Stay with me."
Regina blinked against Emma's shoulder. When had she even closed her eyes? She lifted her head and looked up at Emma.
"I'm right here. And you're okay," Emma murmured.
She let out a puff of air. The metaphorical chest in her mind remained locked. She truly was okay. Because this was Emma looking down at her. This was Emma touching her. And that was not something to be scared of.
"Do you want to continue?" Emma asked softly. "We can stop if you-"
Regina didn't let her finish. She shook her head almost desperately and grabbed Emma's shoulder again. No stopping. Please, no stopping!
Once again, they looked each other in the eyes as Emma's finger gently moved inside of her. The digit curled, twisted, searched, until….
A sharp gasp spilled from Regina's lips, and she squeezed Emma's shoulder tightly. Oh god, yes! Right THERE! That was exactly where she needed to be touched!
"That's it," Emma's voice was encouraging now and so was her finger as she moved her fingers and stimulated her g-spot again.
Regina's hips began to move again. Completely synchronized with the way Emma's finger was moving inside her. She clutched at Emma's shoulder, gasped and moaned sharply and arching her back when the heel of Emma's hand pressed against her clit. Now she truly was being touched everywhere, and Regina squeezed her eyes tightly shut. She trembled and the burning began in her heels again. Heat was rushing through her body, and it was only a matter of time before she….
Emma's lips pressed against her own slightly parted ones. The words 'I love you' was uttered against them. A finger curled inside her. Rubbing right against that spot again.
Regina couldn't answer. Could only let out a strangled sob and buck her hips. She grinded herself faster against Emma's hand. She spread her legs farther apart.
"Oh god, Regina," Emma breathed. "Fuck, you're so gorgeous!"
Every last sensible thought left Regina's mind as Emma curled her finger and thrusted faster and faster inside her. Regina panted. The pleasure was spreading. She couldn't keep still. Wiggled in Emma's arms. Her inner walls clenched around Emma's finger, and Regina huffed in slight frustration. It was too soon. She wanted to prolong this for as long as she possibly could.
"It's okay," Emma soothed, voice warm and sweet and tender in Regina's ear. "We have all night, beautiful. Just let it out. It's not over just because you let go now. Come for me, Regina. You don't have to hold back. You never have to hold back with me. Come for me, babe, let me hear how good you feel, let me see how beautiful you look when you let go! I love you. I love you so, so much!" the encouragement was accompanied by a coaxing finger rubbing that spot inside her a bit harder and the heel of a hand pressing a bit more firmly against her clit.
No matter how much she wanted to, there was no way Regina could prolong this. The finger moving inside her and the hand pressing against her clit combined with Emma's soft, sweet voice became her undoing. Or perhaps her rise from the ash rather than undoing.
She moaned sharply. Threw her head back. Her back bowed as she grabbed Emma's shoulder tightly. The pleasure rushed, rushed, rushed through her. Tears leaked from her eyes as the orgasm took her breath away and made her feel like she was flying for a moment.
Then her head dropped, and her body trembled slightly. She was still not completely done. Was this a second orgasm, or was she still coming?
Regina never found out. She just knew that she felt absolutely wonderful. Emma was saying something, but she couldn't identify the words. There were fingers on her back. Gently scratching up and down, up and down. That felt nice. Almost as nice as the slight tingling sensation she still was feeling deep inside her.
After another moment, she finally capable of releasing a ragged huff. Then she grew completely limp. And vulnerable. The tears kept spilling from her eyes. She was vaguely aware that Emma gently moved her finger from within her, but Regina wasn't able to focus on that right now. She was too overwhelmed.
She had just come.
She had just had sex.
With Emma.
Who loved her.
She had felt it. The pleasure. Everywhere. From the top of her head and down to her toes. Only the pleasure. There hadn't been room for any fear in her mind.
No unwanted thoughts or feelings had popped up in her mind.
It had just been them. Her and Emma. Making love. Like so many other couples.
And at the same time not at all like other couples. There had been nothing simple or 'just' about what had transpired a moment ago. This was so much more than sex.
It had been everything.
Better than Regina could ever have imagined.
She cried in Emma's arms in sheer relief and happiness. She was capable of this! She was capable of being physically intimate with Emma! She had claimed the pleasure and the pleasure had claimed her, become a part of her. Thanks to Emma Swan.
And now that Regina knew how utterly wonderful and special special it was when Emma made love to her, she never would be afraid again.
Emma took her chin and gently tiled her face up. Regina sniffled a bit but still met Emma's eyes.
"Are those happy tears?" Emma asked softly. She was not crying, but her eyes did look a bit glassy.
Definitely happy tears. Regina nodded and hastily wiped her cheeks in an attempt to get rid of the evidence. She wasn't used to cry in bed.
"It's completely fine," Emma said quickly. "You have nothing to be embarrassed about, Regina."
No, perhaps she hadn't. Regina sniffled again. Then stretched her neck and kissed Emma. Then gently pushed her down on the bed and stretched out on top of her.
"You don't have to if you-"
Sweet, silly Emma. Regina silenced her by putting a teasing finger on her lips. She was perfectly aware that she didn't HAVE to do anything. But she WANTED to. She really, really wanted to. She smiled down at Emma. Bussed her lightly on the lips and then kissed her neck.
Emma's arms gently wrapped around her, and Regina felt a tingle of excitement low in her stomach again. She couldn't wait to make love to Emma. Couldn't wait to make her feel what she had just felt…..
To Be Continued….