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Tommy spent the rest of the morning with his son trying to make his Christmas enjoyable. He worked hard to give Charles his full attention but there were so many things pulling at his thoughts. John was dead. His younger brother was gone. His brother who was so hot-headed and opinionated, so unafraid and brave, so funny and fiercely loyal. He'd fought alongside him in France when he was still a boy and a bond had developed between them that only Arthur understood. They had cheated death so many times and all knew that the time they had after France was a bonus. In the bleak midwinter. Yet, the reality of him actually being gone hurt a lot.

The Italians were here, on his doorstep, and they meant business. The family was safe in Small Heath but it wasn't a long term solution. He planned to deal with the Italians as aggressively as he possibly could but it would take some planning and risk to get rid of them. And to make things worse, the Shelbys were estranged. They were here because it was a matter of life and death, but wouldn't survive this unless they were united again.

And then there was Rose. His baby sister. She definitely wasn't a baby anymore. She'd grown up whilst he wasn't looking. A lot had been going on with her whilst he wasn't looking. Lizzie had tried to tell him but he hadn't wanted to know. Rose had always had a dramatic streak so he thought she was just playing up. He had also found it easier for his own sanity to ignore what had happened to her last year. He'd hoped Polly or Ada would have spoken to her. It was a woman's thing, wasn't it?

Yet here she was, back in the house she never wanted to leave with the damage from last year festering inside her still. And now, her heart had been broken by John's death. Tommy Shelby always had a plan but he had no idea how to fix Rose. He watched Charlie yawn as he played with all his new toys and realised it was past his nap time.

"Come on, Charlie, time for a nap, eh?"

"No, Daddy, I want to play with my presents."

"They'll still be here when you wake up."

"Will you be here when I wake up?"

Tommy sighed and reached down to pick him up. "Yes, son, I'll be here. Aunt Ada and Karl are coming round later too. That'll be nice, eh?"

Tommy carried him up to his old bed and settled him down. Charles fell asleep quickly, he was tired after an interrupted night. Tommy watched him sleep for a minute or two, glad that he was safe. What would Grace think of the situation they were in now? She'd be furious with him. He bent down and kissed Charles on his soft hair, then stood up and closed the door quietly behind him. He looked over at Rose's bedroom door and wondered if he should go and see how she was. He knew she wouldn't want to see him, but as much as he wanted to avoid her and her anger, the times of keeping his distance were over. He had to engage with her and bear the brunt whatever she needed to throw at him. Pushing his shoulders back, he stepped towards her door and knocked on it gently. There was no answer, but he hadn't expected one. He knocked again and opened the door a crack.

"Rose? Can I come in?"

He didn't wait for an answer this time, instead pushing the door open and entering the room. He'd expected her to be sat on the window sill, knees pulled up, looking out. This was always her spot when she'd been sent to her room or had gone there in a temper. But she wasn't on the window sill, she was fast asleep in bed. Fred lifted his head when Tommy entered and watched him as he approached the bed. Looking down at her curled up under the blankets, her hair splayed on the pillow, her mouth slightly open, he was surprised. He had never known her to sleep during the day. Even when she was Charles' age she would refuse to nap. The best they managed was to make her lie on the bed for thirty minutes. She would lie with her little arms folded, scowling up at the ceiling, and would be down the stairs in a flash when the big hand made it halfway round the clock face. Then she would be exhausted at tea time and regularly threw a tantrum at the table.

Tommy sat down on the bed next to her, thinking he ought to wake her up. She struggled to sleep as it was, she'd never sleep tonight if she napped all day. She didn't stir as he sat on the bed, though Fred sat up and thumped his tail on the bed. He liked Tommy, he was someone who understood dogs and Fred felt safe with him. Tommy put his hand out and scratched Fred's ears.

"You taking care of her, boy? Eh? You're a good boy. Shall we wake her up? She may get violent, so get ready to duck."

He put his hand on Rose's shoulder and gently shook her. She didn't stir. He shook a bit harder.

"Rose? Wake up. Come on, Mouse, wake up, eh?"

Rose didn't respond at all and Tommy frowned. He tried again, with quite a lot more force and volume but it made no difference. Fred whined and Tommy looked back at him.

"What's she taken, Fred? Hmm? It's those damn pills she keeps asking Lizzie for, isn't it? I thought they were for her nerves. Where are they, eh?"

He began to hunt for them. He looked everywhere – through her bag, under the bed, under the mattress, inside the pillowcase, everywhere he could think of. He didn't find them and sat back on the bed frustrated. Checking that she was ok and still breathing, he stroked Fred's head.

"Keep an eye on her, eh Fred?"

As he left the room, a firm resolve had taken hold. As far as he was concerned, this was the last time she would be taking those pills.

A couple of hours later, Charles was awake and Ada and Karl had arrived. Whilst the boys played with their Christmas presents in the front room, Ada and Tommy sat in the kitchen. Ada had made a pot of tea but Tommy had a glass of whiskey. Ada took a sip of her tea and leant back in her chair.

"How are you, Tommy?"

He ignored the question. "We need a family meeting, Ada."

She nodded. "Tomorrow, before the funeral. I'll let everyone know."

"He wanted…"

"I know. We'll lay him out. Have you spoken to Johnny about a caravan?"

"Yeah, I phoned him earlier."

She watched him as he took a sip of his whiskey and wondered what he was really feeling. Did he feel the loss like she did? Had he cried? Was he sad? Or just angry? She wished he'd let her in.

"Where's Rose?"

He lit a cigarette. "She's asleep."

Ada was shocked. "In the day?"

"She's doped up on pills. Some medication the doctor gave her last year."

"Last year? Why is she still taking it?"

He took another sip and looked away. "I paid for the doctor to keep prescribing them."

"What? Why?"

He shrugged. "I thought it was for her nerves. You know how women get. It was just to calm her down if she got hysterical."

"Hysterical? I'm not surprised she was getting hysterical after what happened to her. And you thought it was a good idea just to medicate her?"

"Thing is, Ada, no one knows what happened to her. She's never talked about it. And with everything that happened…"

"You mean, when members of our family were arrested and almost hung in prison?"

Tommy pulled on his cigarette. "Yeah, that. After that, well, the family was better off without me. So, I stayed away."

Ade looked at him incredulously. "You stayed away from your young sister who had just been kidnapped and attacked? Why would you think that was better for her?"

"I didn't see you staying by her side. You ran off to Boston as fast as you could. Polly's been taking her own pills and taking to dead people, and Arthur was being kept in the house by his wife. The only one of us who did make an effort to see her was John."

Ada closed her eyes and sat down again.

"And now, she's spent a year on some pills that put her to sleep in the day? I've heard of those. They're barbiturates. They'll damage her eventually, Tommy."

"Yeah, well, she won't be taking them again."

"You got rid of them?"

"I couldn't find them. But I will."

"She won't thank you. It'll be messy."

"There's nothing for her to be thankful for, I know that. And I'll deal with the mess."

Ada put her elbows on the table and her head in her hands. What had this family become? Every one of them was damaged in some way. If the Italians didn't get to them first, they may well just destroy themselves.

Ada and Tommy checked on Rose through the rest of the day in between planning John's funeral. Tommy brought food and water for Fred and took him out a couple of times to do his business. Fred did what he needed to quickly, ran straight back into the house and up to Rose's room to take up his position by her side. Tommy went out at one point but Ada didn't ask where he was going. She knew he had a lot on his plate. There was a vendetta to fight, as well as everything else. When he returned home in the evening, Ada got ready to take Karl home.

"I'll be back in the morning with an outfit for Rose. Do you need anything else?"

Tommy shook his head and Ada left him alone with his thoughts. His brain was working at top speed. His plan was about to go into action tomorrow, but first there was a family meeting to get through.

For a split second, Rose thought she was late for school. She was in her bedroom in Watery Lane and Ada was shaking her and telling her to wake up. She opened her eyes and as she looked at Ada's face, she remembered. John was dead. She sat up and threw her arms around Ada who held her tight. Both had them had cried their tears yesterday and now they just sat and held each other, sharing their grief and pain in silence. Eventually, Ada pushed Rose away gently.

"Rosie love, I brought you something to wear. The funeral's this afternoon."

She pointed to the wardrobe where a black dress was hanging on the door. Rose looked at it and nodded.

"And we have a family meeting now, so you need to hurry up and get dressed."

Rose shook her head. "I'm not going to a family meeting."

"You have to."

"Says who?"

Ada sighed. "Don't be difficult, Rosie. We need to talk about what's happening and what we need to do next."

"You mean, Tommy will talk about what's happening and tell us what to do next."

Ada conceded the point. "Well, probably, but the fact remains that the Italians are out there and they want to kill each one of us. Do you have a plan to stop them?"

Rose shrugged. Let them, she thought.

"Fine. I'll be down in bit."

Ada tucked Rose's hair behind an ear and smiled at her. "Good girl. And when today's over, you and I will catch up properly."

Rose smiled back at her but it was forced. She knew what Ada was getting at, but she had no desire to bear her soul to her sister, or anyone else for that matter. Ade left her to it and went back downstairs. Rose wearily moved her legs round and sat on the edge of the bed. She reached for her cigarette case, pushed the little button to open it and as the lid sprung open, she caught sight of the inscription inside, Your loving brother, John. Staring at it, she thought back to her thirteenth birthday when he'd given it to her, shifting his feet awkwardly. "It's so you know who it's from." She ran a finger over his name and felt the pain of his loss like a knife in her heart. Fred crept over and put his head on her lap. Rose put a hand on his back and closed her eyes. She felt the panic begin to rise inside her. She wasn't sure she'd be able to cope with the day. A family meeting, a funeral. How was she going to get through those when she couldn't even bring herself to put her feet on the floor? She felt trapped. She managed to push herself off the bed and kneel down to retrieve her tablets. Sitting on the floor, she tipped one into her hand. She'd never taken them in the morning before. She only ever used them to get to sleep, but now, as she looked at the small white pill in her palm, she wondered if it would help to take one now. She decided to find out and put it in her mouth, swallowing it quickly. Fred jumped down and watched her. He was hungry and he needed to go outside. Rose stood up and opened the door, hoping there was someone downstairs who would let him out. He ran straight down the stairs and Rose realised he knew where he was going. That meant Tommy had taken care of him whilst she'd slept. Once again, she was grateful for his thoughtfulness. Closing the door, she turned and looked at the outfit Ada had left for her. It was a plain black, long sleeved dress with small pearl buttons which ran along one shoulder and then, off centre, down the front of the dress. There was a finely knitted black cardigan with it and black half boots with small heels.

As she looked at it, trying to work up the strength to put it on, she felt the pill she'd taken kick in. Her heartbeat slowed and she began to relax. She felt as if she was floating slightly and it was as if her mind retreated into a tunnel with real life a distance away. She liked it – the pain dulled, the panic stayed low and her thoughts stilled. She got dressed, put her boots on and spotted a hairbrush on the chest of drawers. There was a mirror above Ada's bed but Rose turned her back on it as she pulled the brush through her hair. She put the brush down, picked up her cigarette case and lighter. She brought blue enamel lighter to her lips and kissed it before lighting a cigarette.

When she entered the kitchen, most of the family had arrived. They turned and looked at her as she entered but she avoided eye contact. Arthur stood up and drew her in for a hug.

"Rosie, sweetheart."

He kissed the top of her head but although she put her arms round him, she didn't lean into the hug or respond. She pulled away and moved past him to lean against the sideboard behind him near the window. She felt concerned eyes on her but she looked out of the window. She just wanted this meeting over with. Tommy entered the room and stood in front of everyone, hands folded in front of him. Rose looked at him and knew he was nervous. He took a deep breath and spoke.

"John is dead."

Rose closed her eyes and it felt like she was under water. She could hear Tommy talking and understand the words, but it was like they were glancing off her ears as soon as they landed. He may as well have been in the other room. She turned her head and looked out of the window at the back yard. Fred was out there, sniffing everywhere. She was glad he was getting some air – even if it wasn't fresh here in Small Heath. The conversation continued beside her but she didn't take part. She was aware of Polly's pain though. It was as if it pierced though the water and connected with her own. She tuned into Tommy's voice again.

"…which means that here today, in this room, we have to agree to end this war between us. Take a vote."

Rose almost scoffed. End the war by taking a vote? Wars didn't end that easily; Tommy of all people should know that. She listened to voice after voice decide for peace and when Tommy invited Finn to sit at the table, she turned and watched Finn sit down where John should have been sitting. She wrapped her arms round her waist and braced herself against the fear she felt as she saw her youngest brother given a man's position in the family. She wondered when she'd be mourning his death too. She became aware of Tommy's gaze on her and she slowly raised hers eyes to meet his. He was waiting for her vote. She hadn't expected to be asked but she had an answer. She lifted her chin and spoke clearly.

"There will never be peace in this family."

She saw frustration and a hint of rejection in his eyes before she turned and looked back out of the window.

"Five for peace, two for truce, two abstentions. Let's get on with the war."

Rose didn't think she'd abstained but she let it lie. She didn't care. The family stood up, the men hurrying after Tommy, set on gathering their army. Linda left promptly, followed by Ada, both of them wanting to get back to their sons. Lizzie began to clear the table and Polly looked over at Rose. She could see how much she was hurting and her heart went out to her niece. She knew how she felt – she had lost people she loved, she'd been attacked and violated before, she'd been let down by those she'd trusted. She stood up and made her way over. Rose looked up at her aunt as she stood in front of her, then looked back out of the window. Polly reached out, took hold of Rose's chin and gently moved her head so that her face was tilted up towards her.

"You are stronger than you think you are, Rose."

Rose frowned, looked away and tried to move her head but Polly kept hold.

"I know you think you're broken but you're not. You are a Shelby woman and nothing breaks us – certainly no man. You hear me? You will soar, my dear, I know you will. She told me."

"Who did?"

"She did, your mother."

Rose's eyes opened wide and she pushed Polly's hand away from her chin. "You spoke to my mother?"

Polly smiled and nodded. "Yes, she's visits me."

"How is she?"

"Oh, she's complicated, she always was."

Rose frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Well, she has strong opinions, you know. And she's frustrated that she can't keep her kids out of trouble."

Rose's eyes filled with tears. "You mean me? She's been watching me?"

"Oh, she watches you all."

"And she's disappointed in me?"

"Oh no, no, love. She just wishes you'd listen to her."

Lizzie, who was listening from over at the sink, turned round at this.

"Polly!"

Polly looked back at Lizzie and rolled her eyes. "What?"

"You can't tell her things like that."

"No, Aunt Pol, you can. What is she saying to me?"

"Polly, stop."

"Fine, I have to go and see Michael anyway."

To Rose's dismay, Polly began to gather her things.

"Aunt Pol, you have to tell me."

"I will, love. But now isn't the time."

Polly planted a kiss on Rose's forehead and headed out of the door. Rose turned to Lizzie, angry that she'd stopped Polly from talking about her mum, but then remembered she needed to ask her something.

"Lizzie?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you get my medicine?"

Lizzie looked at her. She remembered how rude Rose had been to her when she'd yelled the request after her at Arrow House a couple of days ago. But the girl had just lost her brother and Lizzie couldn't bring herself to be cold towards her.

"It's Christmas, Rose. The doctor's not working."

"But it's an emergency, Lizzie, I'm almost out. There must be a doctor on call somewhere."

Lizzie sighed. "Rose, Tommy has told me he doesn't want you having any more pills. He won't pay for any more prescriptions."

Rose stared at Lizzie. She wasn't surprised but she had hoped to at least get this latest prescription.

"Lizzie, I need them. Tommy doesn't understand. Why would he? He's not spoken to me in months, you know that. Can't you find a way to get them? Without telling him?"

"Rose, why would I do that? He'd kill me if he found out."

"He won't find out."

"Course he will, he finds everything out. Besides, I agree with him. You shouldn't be on those tablets, they're not helping you."

Rose was frustrated now, and worried about running out of pills.

"Well, you would agree with him, wouldn't you? He's your only customer these days, isn't he?"

Lizzie's hand itched to slap Rose across the cheek. It was only the memory of John which stopped her. She left the unwashed cups and glasses in the sink, grabbed her coat and bag and left the house, slamming the door behind her.

Rose stood in the silence on the empty kitchen. She'd lashed out at Lizzie again and she shouldn't have. She tried to feel bad, but the truth was, she didn't feel anything at all. There was a scratching at the back door and she went to open it. Fred ran in and went straight to the fire. It was cold outside. Rose went to the sink and finished the washing up that Lizzie had left. As she did, she thought about what Polly had told her. Was her mother really watching her? What did she think of what Rose had become? She probably wasn't proud. Drying her hands on the tea towel, Rose realised that her mother had done the exact same thing in this very kitchen many, many times before. She turned round and tried to imagine her mother stood in that very spot, her children young, running in and out of the house, baby John crawling round the floor. Was she happy then? Did she bend down and pick up the baby, kissing him and tickling him till he laughed his sweet baby laugh? And as she stood there, looking into the room, she felt something – someone at her shoulder. She turned quickly but saw nothing. She frowned. Had she imagined it?

Her thoughts were broken by the front door opening and then closing. Finn entered the kitchen.

"Hiya, Squirt. Tommy told me to come back and keep an eye on the shop."

Rose looked at him witheringly. "It's Christmas Day, Finn. Why would you need to keep an eye on the shop?"

He shrugged. "I'm just doing what Tommy told me to."

"Like a good little soldier."

He shot her a look, then went to pour himself a drink. Rose watched him pour just one glass.

"He told you to keep an eye on me, didn't he?"

Finn turned and looked at her, taking a sip. He didn't answer her. She was right and he was annoyed. He could have been helping prepare the war and now he was babysitting his little sister. Rose didn't need him to answer, she knew she was right. She sighed and sat down at the table.

"I'm sorry, Finn."

He joined her at the table.

"Not your fault you're a bit mad, is it?"

Rose couldn't help but laugh. "All Shelbys are mad, aren't they?"

"Speak for yourself."

He lit a cigarette and, catching her eye, handed it to her then lit himself another one. She inhaled the smoke and sat back in the chair. He watched her.

"Are you though, Rose?"

"What, mad?"

"Yeah"

She thought about it. "Maybe. I don't feel like myself anymore. And I'm scared all the time."

He nodded. "It was bad for you, wasn't it?"

She felt a jolt run through her nerves, like electricity. The memories were buried for a reason. She changed the subject.

"Finn, do you know people who can get their hands on medicines? You know, like they sell at the chemist?"

Finn took another drink and shook his head. "Tommy said you'd ask me. And he told me not to help you."

She scowled at him. "Finn, he's not letting me have my medicine. The doctor prescribed it for me. I need it."

"He says you don't"

"Oh, has the Great Tommy got a degree in medicine now then? He doesn't know everything, you know."

"Maybe not, but he can make my life very miserable if I help you."

"Finn, please!"

Finn took finished his drink and stood up. He looked down at Rose, noting her desperate expression.

"Rose, I'm more scared of Tommy than I am of you. And besides, Ray Garnett charges way more for those pills then you could afford. Why do you think he spends all his time in The Crown drinking expensive whiskey?"

And with that, Finn went into the shop leaving a surprised but grateful Rose behind. And being the Shelby that she was, a plan was already forming in her mind.