Rose didn't really know Ray Garnett – he was a year or so older than Finn – but she knew his cousin, Bobby. Bobby had been friends with Eliza's brother, James and they'd crossed paths a few times. It hadn't taken long for Rose to find out where he lived and it was here that she was heading in the dark. She kept to the shadows and the alleyways until she reached the end of Upton Street where Ray lived at number eleven. She settled down to wait. The pubs would have just closed and she was hoping Ray was on his way home. She'd debated going to see him in The Crown but had ruled it out. It would have been foolish for her to have gone into any of Tommy's pubs. She would have been recognised straight away and Tommy would have known within fifteen minutes.

She stayed alert – she didn't want to be recognised, nor did she want to encounter any Italians. She was restless, trying to keep her nerves in check. Every sound made her jump, every person passing by made her push herself against the wall.

Eventually, she spotted him. Ray Garnett was plump, with tight curly blond hair and flushed red cheeks. He was swaggering slowly towards his street, had clearly had a few drinks that evening and was, to Rose's relief, alone. She waited till he was a few steps away from her then stepped in front of him, into the light of a streetlamp. He jumped at her sudden appearance and swore. She didn't flinch although her heart was racing. He blinked at her in confusion. She looked familiar but he couldn't place her.

"Who are you?"

"It doesn't matter who I am. I want you to get something for me."

He snorted. "Ask your mum, kid. I don't sell sweets."

Rose rolled her eyes. "I want Veronal."

Ray raised his eyebrows, then a look of recognition came over his face. He grinned lazily.

"You're Little Girl Shelby. He said you'd come looking for me."

Rose's stomach sank. "Who?" she asked, though she knew the answer.

"Your Tommy, he said you'd come asking for that stuff. Paid me a good sum not to get you anything."

Rose clenched her fists. He was always one step ahead of her. How could he possibly know she would find Ray Garnett? Because that's what he'd do, was her next thought. She wasn't to be deterred.

"How much?"

"Eh?"

"How much did he pay you?"

"Ten bob."

Her jaw dropped. That was a lot of money. She earned just under one pound a week for the job she barely showed up to but was nonetheless well paid for.

"I'll give you another ten if you get them for me."

Ray narrowed his eyes. He was greedy but he wasn't stupid.

"Tommy will kill me."

"Tommy won't find out. I'm not going to tell him, am I?"

The drug dealer thought about it. It might be possible. Twenty pounds was a decent amount of money.

"I'll tell you what, Red. I'll do it for fifteen."

"Fifteen? That's way too much."

"That's my offer. Ten for the pills, five for the danger I'll be putting myself in doing business behind Tommy's back."

Rose frowned. She was stuck between a rock and a hard place. She certainly didn't have fifteen pounds, but she desperately needed the pills. She glared at him.

"Fine, fifteen. But I need them tomorrow. I'll be back here at the same time. Can you manage that?"

Ray scoffed. "Course I can. Can you manage the money?"

"Just be here tomorrow." She turned heel and walked away quickly. Once she was out of his sight, she sprinted home the same way she'd come. She had to be back before Tommy got in. And all the way home, she tried to work out how she would get fifteen pounds by tomorrow night.

She reached the house with about ten minutes to spare. She was in her bedroom, catching her breath when she heard the front door open and close. She quickly changed into her nightgown and climbed under the covers when there was a knock on her door. She debated pretending she was asleep but knew he wouldn't buy it. So she sat up, pulled the covers up to her chin and called out.

"Yeah?"

Tommy opened the door and stepped into her room. He stood in the threshold of the door and regarded her. She looked back at him, squirming slightly under his gaze. He always seemed to see right inside her. It used to make her feel safe, being known, but now it made her feel uncomfortable. What could he see in her that she wasn't aware of? He gestured at her bed.

"May I?"

She nodded, keeping the covers close around her. Fred was on Ada's bed watching Tommy as he moved towards Rose's bed and sit down at the end of it. Tommy clasped his hands in front of him, resting them on his knees. He looked at them instead of her and cleared his throat.

"Been a difficult day."

She didn't answer.

"John should have had a better send-off than that."

Rose's eyes widened. She hadn't expected him to say that.

"He probably wouldn't have been surprised. In fact, he would have loved your plan."

Tommy gave a soft chuckle and looked at her. "Yeah, he probably would've."

She looked at the dimples in his cheeks, which only appeared when he smiled or laughed and realised it had been a long time since she'd seen them. She smiled despite herself and they shared a fleeting moment of happiness together as they imagined John enjoying the chaos of his own funeral.

"You need to stop taking the tablets, Rose."

She sighed and looked down. "I need them. The doctor prescribed them."

"That was over a year ago. It's time to stop now."

She looked back at him sharply.

"How would you know? You haven't spoken to me in a year."

He nodded and looked back at his hands. "I was wrong."

Rose knew how much it had taken for him to admit that. Tommy Shelby never admitted he was wrong. But it didn't matter anymore.

"Yeah, you were. But it's a bit late now, isn't it, Thomas? Time doesn't go backwards, does it?"

He kept his head down. "I wish it did."

She looked out of the window. "Me too."

He turned and sat sideways on the bed, facing her. "Rose…"

She cut him off. "It's late, Thomas. I'm tired."

He looked at her. She'd called him Thomas ever since he'd told her the news about John's death. He knew why. It was another way to keep her distance. He opened his mouth to try again, but she lay down in the bed and turned away from him. He sighed. Polly had told him it would take time and not to push things with Rose. So he stood up and walked to the door. He put his hand on the doorknob and spoke.

"Those pills will run out soon. Lizzie said you don't have many left. And you won't get anymore." He looked over his shoulder at her. "It won't be easy when you stop, but I'll be here for you, Mouse."

She kept her back turned. "You've said that before."

"Yeah" He turned out the light and closed the door. Standing outside her door, he frowned. He remembered promising her he was back for good after Grace's death and his journey to Wales. But he hadn't been and he knew it would take more than a few hugs and well-meaning words to regain her trust this time - if he ever could again.

Rose lay where she was, staring at the wall, listening for Tommy's footsteps to go downstairs. She thought about what he'd said about being there for her when she came off the pills. She couldn't imagine not taking them. The nightmares would return and this time they would be worse than they'd ever been. And now she was taking the tablets in the day, she was finding she couldn't imagine coping without them. Hearing Tommy head downstairs, she got out of bed, retrieved her pills and took two. Climbing back into bed, she settled down to sleep. Fred jumped up and took his place next to her. She put her hand on his back and fell quickly asleep wondering how she was going to come up with fifteen pounds by tomorrow night.

The next day was Sunday and the house was empty when Rose woke up. She rolled on her back and stared up at the ceiling, the now familiar drowsiness after a night of drugged sleep keeping a hold on her still. Fred fidgeted beside her and she knew he needed to go outside. It was an effort to sit up and as she did, she felt a niggle of worry inside her. She had three tablets left and needed fifteen pounds to get more. She wanted to take one now, to keep that worry at bay, to stop it growing into panic but she daren't. She was one day away from running out and she wasn't confident she'd get the money in time. Fred was pacing by the door and she forced herself to get up and get dressed.

As she let Fred out into the back yard and put some food into a bowl for him, she went through all her options again. In the next room was a large safe full of money, but she didn't know the current combination. Besides, Lizzie and Polly would know if any was missing – they kept a tight rein on the books. There was no money kept anywhere else in the house. She herself didn't have any cash. Her last wage packet had been spent, with the help of the Lee twins, on cigarettes, gin and a few trinkets they fancied. She hadn't cared what they'd spent it on. Sipping a cup of hot tea and watching Fred eat his breakfast, Rose went through the list of people who might lend her the money. Arthur? Linda would find out sooner or later and tell Tommy. Ada? Polly? Neither of them would without insisting on knowing why. Finn? Maybe, but she didn't want to get him in trouble with Tommy. Michael? He was recovering slowly from his injuries. She didn't see how he could get her any cash. That left one person who might just say yes.

She left the house with Fred trotting next to her and reached the scrap yard not long afterwards. Charlie was tinkering with an engine in his courtyard with Curly beside him offering advice, much to Charlie's annoyance. They looked up as Rose approached and Curly's face lit up at the sight of Fred. He held his hand out to him and made a fuss of him, talking to him lovingly. He looked up at Rose.

"He's a lovely dog, he is, Rosie. You're lucky, you are."

She smiled at him. "I know, Curly. He likes you."

He beamed at her and turned his attention back to Fred. Charlie stood up straight and regarded Rose. He took the cigarette that had been hanging out of his mouth and frowned at her. She didn't look well – her hair was a mess, her eyes were puffy, her skin pale. She looked agitated and tense.

"Hello, Rosie girl. Want a cup of tea?"

She nodded and he headed towards the stove where a pot of tea had already been brewed. She sat down and Charlie handed her a mug of tea. He grabbed the biscuit tin and offered it to her. It was full of custard creams which were her favourite. She took two and wondered if Charlie had got them especially. He had. He was secretly pleased that the family was back in Small Heath. He missed seeing them regularly. He was very fond of Rose, she was always so full of life and energy. She reminded him of a young Tommy and he had hoped that Rose wouldn't lose her vivaciousness like he had. Looking at her now though, he could see to his dismay that she had changed. He'd heard about her attack last year, but had barely seen her since then. It was clear that she hadn't got over it. He sat down next to her.

"You here to see Tommy's new horse?"

She looked at him. "Tommy has a new horse?"

"You don't know? I thought all you and he talked about was horses."

She shrugged. "He's been busy."

"Course he has."

"What kind of horse is it?"

"A nice filly. That posh lady trainer is coming to pick her up later."

"May? May's coming here?"

"Yeah."

Rose was pleased. She liked May but hadn't seen her since the Epsom Derby. She decided to stay and say hello. But there was something else she needed to ask first.

"Uncle Charlie?"

"Hmm?"

"Could you lend me some money?"

He looked at her, shocked. It had been a long while since a Shelby had asked him for money. He really didn't want to know the answer to his next question but knew he had to ask.

"What for?"

She looked back into the fire. "Don't ask me, Uncle Charlie."

"Rosie, if you're asking me for money then it can't be for anything good."

She looked at him desperately. "I can't tell you why, but it's for something that I need. It's nothing bad, no one's getting hurt or anything. It's important."

"Have you asked Tommy?"

She scoffed. "He wouldn't understand."

Charlie sighed. "How much?"

She chewed her lip. "Fifteen pounds."

His mouth dropped open. "Fifteen? Rose, I can't just give you fifteen pounds."

"Why not? I'll pay you back."

"If you need that amount of money, you're either in trouble or you're buying something you shouldn't. I can't give you that much behind Tommy's back."

She was frustrated. "Why does Tommy have to know about everything? He's just one member of this family. Why can't I have a life without him being involved in it all? Eh? It's like I'm in prison or something. It's not fair."

Charlie watched her face go red as she got angry and felt sorry for her. He knew that Tommy kept close control of the family and the business, even over the past year when he'd been estranged. He also knew how Rose clashed with him. She was as strong-minded as he was but with none of his power. And yet, she was still a child. Whatever she wanted fifteen pounds for couldn't be good.

"Can't you talk to Pol? She'll help you."

Rose shook her head and stood up. "Don't worry, Uncle Charlie. I'll be fine."

He watched her wander over to the stables and scratched his cheek. What would her mother have thought about her children now? He tried to look out for them but so much was beyond his power to do anything about. He sighed and stood up. Maybe he'd try and have a word with Polly.

Rose was leaning over the gate of the stall when Curly appeared. She was watching Tommy's new filly. She was a beautiful chestnut brown with a white nose. She stood quietly, occasionally stamping a foot, at ease with the girl who had been her companion for a while now. Rose reached out and stoked the filly's soft nose and wished she could see Nua again.

"Oh, hello, Rosie, I didn't know you were here."

"Hiya Curly."

"She's a beautiful horse, isn't she?"

"Yeah"

"I wish she didn't have to race."

Rose turned to look at him. "Me neither. She should be free, shouldn't she?"

"Yeah, yeah. Horses don't like to be made to run. And it's cruel to use a crop."

She reached into her pocket and took out the carving Mal had made for her. "Look at this, Curly."

She held it out to him and he took if from her, a look of wonder on his face.

"Oh, it's lovely. A wild horse. I've seen them, you know."

"Have you?"

"Yeah, out on the road. They were happy."

"Mal said he's seen them too. He made that for me."

"Did he? It's good." He handed it back to her. "He likes you, you know."

She shrugged and looked back at the horse. "We're friends."

"Will you marry him?"

She looked at him, shocked. "Curly!"

"What?"

"You can't ask questions like that."

"Why not?"

"Because it's embarrassing. I'm only fourteen."

"My mum was fourteen when I was born."

Rose didn't know that. "Yeah, well, I'm not getting married for a long time. If I even get married at all."

"Charlie says all the world's problems are because of women."

Rose laughed out loud. "Yeah, he would say that, wouldn't he? He's a man."

"I think all the world's problems are because people don't treat their animals properly."

She looked at him fondly. "Yeah, I think you're right, Curly."

"Oh, I need to bring the horse to the lady. She's taking her away now."

"May's here?"

"Yeah, yeah."

Rose hurried to the courtyard where May was waiting by the horse van. She was wearing a brown fur coat and her distinctive cloche hat. Rose thought she was the prettiest woman she had ever seen. May spotted her and smiled broadly.

"Rose! How lovely to see you. I didn't know you were here."

"Hello May. Another horse to train?"

"That's right. Your brother keeps me busy, which is fine by me. Who's this?"

She bent down to stroke Fred who was delighted with the attention.

"That's Fred."

"Fred? What a wonderful name for a dog. He's lovely." She stood up and smiled at Rose. "And how are you?"

May's eyes examined Rose's face and lingered on the scars which hadn't been there the last time she'd seen her. Rose was quite a lot different, in fact – older, less innocent, a guarded look in her eyes. May frowned. Something had happened in this girl's life. And from what Curly had told her about the Mafia and guns and grenades, it seemed like things were still happening. Rose caught May looking at her scars and could read the pity in her face. She ducked her head and looked away. May realised how self-conscious Rose was and also looked away.

"I was so sorry to hear about your brother, John."

Rose fiddled with one of the bolts on the van. "Thanks."

"It must have been horrible."

"Yeah"

Curly approached with the horse and May busied herself settling the horse in the van. She stepped down and looked at Rose.

"Let's leave her in there to get used to it for a short while. Is there anywhere we can sit?"

"Yeah, by the fire. Uncle Charlie's made tea but it'll be stewed now. I'll make a fresh pot."

"Sounds perfect. Any biccies?"

"Custard creams?"

"My favourite."

Rose grinned and led the way. For the next forty minutes, over tea and biscuits, May and Rose talked about horses and stables. Rose asked question after question about May's business and May was happy to answer them all. She recognised in Rose a kindred spirit and was glad to spend time with her.

"You know, you really must come and visit. You could stay with me and I'll show you everything. We'll have a lovely time."

Rose's eyes shone. "I would love to." Then they clouded over. "But not at the moment, things are a bit … complicated."

May nodded. "Yes, Curly did mention a few things." She put her hand on Rose's arm. "Rose, are you safe?"

Rose nodded. "I am here. We just can't leave Small Heath for a while."

"The Italians?"

Rose shrugged and looked down at the floor. She knew she shouldn't talk about it. She looked at May and wondered if she should ask her for the money. But she couldn't bring herself to. May probably would have given it to her, but she was ashamed to ask. Squeezing her arm, May looked at her worriedly.

"Are you in trouble, Rose? Can I do anything to help?"

Rose looked at her and forced herself to smile. "I'm fine, May. Really." She stood up quickly. "I should go."

May stood up also. "Yes, ok. I should get this horse back to the stables. Here, Rose, take this." May held out her business card to Rose who took it and looked at it. "Call me anytime, ok? Even if it's just to chat about horses."

Rose put the card in her pocket. "Thanks, May."

May smiled at her. Rose smiled back and took a step.

"Bye then, have a safe journey. Take care of that horse."

"Of course. See you next time."

"Yeah" Rose gave a half wave, turned and ran to the gate. She wished she could get in the van and drive away with May. But that life wasn't hers and she had to face the one she was given. May watched her leave the yard and shook her head. What kind of a life was this for a young girl like Rose?

Rose walked home slowly. She'd enjoyed seeing May and being distracted for a while, but now the fact remained that she still didn't have the money she needed. The panic that had been niggling at her all day increased as she felt more and more desperate. She wandered past the steel works, listening to the familiar rushes of flames and hammering that had been the permanent backdrop to her early childhood. Approaching The Garrison, she wondered, as she always had, whether her brothers were in there. One of them usually was. She decided to see if Finn was there. She might be able to persuade him to give her the money. Pushing the doors open, she stepped in, Fred following her. It was quiet, the works hadn't let out yet and there were just a few older men in there. George, the barman, nodded at her. A teenage girl would never have been allowed to enter a pub, but Rose was a Shelby and, in Small Heath, the Shelbys could do what they wanted. She pushed open the door of the snug but it was empty. She let out a sigh of frustration. Turning round, she looked at the empty pub and an idea came to her. She approached the bar and leant on it. George came over and smiled at her.

"What can I do for you, Miss Shelby?"

"Tommy's sent me to get him a bottle of champagne."

"Oh, right, they're in the back."

Rose already knew this. "Can you go and get one? I don't know anything about champagne and he wants the best."

George looked at the bar, he was alone. The other staff didn't arrive for another hour yet. Rose knew this also.

"I'll watch the bar, George. It's not busy."

George looked relieved. "Righto, Miss, that's good of you. Wouldn't want to leave it unattended."

Making her way round the bar, she smiled at him. "No, of course not."

"You're not allowed to serve any alcohol though, you're too young."

"I know, I'll just tell customers to wait till you get back."

"Good, good. I won't be a minute then."

George hurried out to the back room and Rose moved quickly. Taking a look around to make sure no one was paying her any attention, she opened the till and deftly took out fifteen pounds. Pushing the notes in her coat pocket, she closed the till and moved away just as George came back, a bottle of champagne in his hand.

"There you go, Miss Shelby. A bottle of our finest. I hope your Tommy enjoys it."

"I'm sure he will, George."

Rose took the bottle from him and walked as nonchalantly as she could out of the pub. Once outside, she took a quick look around to make sure none of her family were about then took off at a run, Fred on her heels enjoying the sudden exercise. She headed for the canal and hurled the bottle into it. She felt the notes in her pocket and although she knew there would be hell to pay if Tommy ever found out, she would at least be getting her pills tonight. And that was the only thing that mattered to her.

Apparently, £1.00 in 1920 was worth about £43.00 today. So that would mean that Rose needed the equivalent of about £660.00. I can't imagine that much missing from the Garrison books will go unnoticed, but Rose is a bit desperate at this point. It won't end well.

As ever, I'd love to know your thoughts so please leave a review. I really appreciate them. Take care, Wenlock x