"Seriously?" Emma asked, looking at her. Suddenly, there was no trace of the tipsy woman she had been a moment ago. Her gaze was focused and her voice steady.
Regina nodded in confirmation.
"And you've... You've known all week?" it sounded like she was trying hard not to sound affronted, but there was a whisper of something in her voice. Hurt.
Regina nodded sheepishly and undid the knot in her scarf. Now she was starting to second guess the decision she had made about not telling Emma.
"So that's what's been going on," Emma said, sounding very much like she was having an 'aha'-moment. "I knew there was something, I just couldn't figure out what it was. And that doctor's appointment... Was that really just a regular checkup?"
Regina nodded quickly. Yes, just a regular checkup.
"So you haven't had any examinations regarding the surgery yet?" Emma asked her, eyebrow rising a bit.
Now Regina shook her head. No. No examinations yet.
"Oh, good," Emma said, sounding relieved. "I'd like to go with you for those. If you want me there, obviously. Do you want me there?"
Obviously. Regina nodded and scratched where the scarf had itched her. She hoped that she hadn't made Emma feel like she was being excluded. That definitely had not been the intention.
Emma came closer and put a hand on her shoulder. "You should have told me sooner."
'Sorry,' Regina mouthed, feeling sheepish once again. She had definitely made the wrong choice by not telling Emma about the decision immediately.
"I wasn't asking you to apologize," Emma said softly. "I just really wanna know about these things as soon as you figure them out, okay?"
Regina began typing on her phone again. Did her best to 'justify' her actions. 'I just didn't want to take the attention away from all the exciting things happening with your book. I didn't want you to think of anything but that.' Satisfied with that, she turned the screen towards Emma and hoped that she would be able to focus on the written words. Bearing in mind that she was a little tipsy.
But Emma had no problem with that. As soon as she had read the message, she looked up at Regina. "Well, then I have a little newsflash for you," she said with a chuckle. "I always think about you. All the time. Book contract or not. This wouldn't have been an enormous change."
Zelena chuckled. Rather obnoxiously. Regina wondered if it would be socially acceptable to point her middle finger at her dear sister. Probably not.
"I wanna know about these things," Emma continued. "Okay?"
Alright, alright! Point taken. Regina nodded. And felt rather scolded too. Perhaps rightfully so. She shouldn't have kept things hidden.
Zelena snickered again. "That's what I've been trying to tell her all week. Maybe she'll listen to you."
Regina sneered at her sister. But did not raise her middle finger.
"So when is this happening?" Emma asked, and perhaps that was a good thing. Otherwise Regina would have signed something bitingly sarcastic. Now she turned her attention to her phone so she could give an answer and fill Emma in on things. Like she should have a week ago. Darn it. 'My doctor said that it could be as soon as in two months. The hospital in Toronto already have all my paperwork, they just need to find an official date for the operation and then send the date to me. I know you said that you want to go with me, but you've got so much going on with the book right now, so I'll understand if you have changed your mind.' She had thought a lot about that and although she really wanted Emma to go with her (and partially had promised Henry that she would) it would make sense if Emma couldn't make it. She turned the screen towards Emma so she could read the message.
"Oh, get out of here!" Emma huffed as soon as she had done just that. "I'm going with you. End of story. I always said I would!"
That made Regina smile. That made her very happy to hear. No matter how confident she was, she knew that it would be difficult to go back to the hospital in Toronto, and having Emma by her side would make everything so much easier.
"Have you told Henry yet?" Emma asked curiously.
Regina nodded in confirmation and felt a bit bad. It seemed like she had told everyone except Emma.
"Oh, good. Otherwise I could almost have thought that you were planning on sneaking off and having the operation without telling anyone," Emma teased.
Regina shrugged innocently and bared her teeth in a grin as she thought about it. Sneaking off to be operated and then poof back home like magic. What a luxury that would be.
"I don't see that happening anytime soon," Emma said, adopting a mock-threatening tone. "You're stuck with me, babe."
That sounded wonderful. Regina smiled and was even capable of ignoring Zelena who was sniggering again. Then she was surprised by a yawn and had to cover her mouth with a hand. Her jaw clicked slightly.
"Careful," Emma chuckled. Then yawned herself. Louder and more unrestrained than she normally would. Still tipsy then. Despite her attempts to appear sober.
In answer, Regina pointed lightly to the staircase, suggesting that they should get some sleep, and Emma was quick to catch on. She nodded. "Yep. I am definitely ready for bed."
"And I beg you, please settle for sleeping tonight," Zelena deadpanned. "My bedroom is right next to yours. And the walls are thin."
Emma flushed, went 'uhhh' and rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly, but Regina glared at her sister. She wasn't planning anything of the sort! Obviously not.
But she felt incredibly tempted to tell Zelena of that one time where she had been 'awake' at the same time as she and Chad had. Through the indeed thin walls, Regina had been the witness to her sister's giggles and the unmistakable sound of a headboard hitting the wall. She had never revealed this to Zelena, but if she kept teasing, she sure as hell would!
"Just making a request, sis." Zelena bared her teeth in a grin.
In response, Regina lifted her right hand and tapped her mouth with her fingertips.
"I will most certainly not shut up," Zelena huffed in mock offense. "In all the time you've known me, has there ever been a point where I've shut up?"
No, unfortunately not. Ignoring her, she turned her attention to Emma instead. She put a hand on her shoulder and nodded to the staircase again.
"Yep," Emma said. "I'm ready to crash."
Regina did not spare her sister a second glance. Just went up the stairs.
Emma was a bit more polite and wished Zelena a good night. Then Regina heard her behind her.
"Night-night, lovebirds!" Zelena said cheerfully downstairs, and once again, Regina felt tempted to flash her sister her middle finger….
She left Emma to rifling through the duffel-bag she had brought with her for the night, and went into the bathroom to remove her makeup and brush her teeth. Once that was done, she quietly padded down the hallway and peered into Henry's room. He woke slightly and croaked: "mom? Are you guys home now?"
Regina walked over to the bed and kissed the top of his head.
"Was it a fun night?" he croaked, clearly struggling to focus on her.
Regina nodded and held back a smile. She was clearly dealing with two drunk people tonight. One that had too much champagne, and one that was drunk on sleep.
"Is Emma still here?" Henry asked, blinking up at her.
Regina nodded again. Indeed she was.
"Are you guys gonna sleep until eleven again?" he slurred.
Oh boy, was it ever hard to maintain a straight face! But somehow Regina managed to do just that as she shook her head. No, there would be no sleeping in tomorrow morning. Which meant no fun tonight. Unfortunately…
She cleared her throat upon remembering that she definitely shouldn't be thinking about that when near her son. Regina kissed the top of his head again. Then urged him to go back to sleep. He yawned. Rolled onto his stomach and mashed his face into the pillow.
Regina stood from his bedside to leave, but just as she had made it to the door, Henry's next question made her turn her head.
"Did you tell her about the operation?"
She flashed him a thumbs up and hoped he could see it.
He could. "And what did she say? Is she still coming with us?"
Regina flashed him a second thumbs up in response.
"Awesome! Goodnight, mom."
She blew him a kiss and then left his room.
Coming back to the bedroom, she found Emma sitting perched on the edge of the bed. Wearing nothing but a white tanktop. Goodness. A shame they weren't on their own. Had they been, Regina definitely would have….
She quickly shoved THAT thought as far back as she possibly could and concentrated on walking over to her closet and grabbed her cream colored pajamas. Once she had hauled her nightwear out of the closet, she reached back and tugged at the zipper on her dress. A slight creaking coming from the bed had her turning her head and looking over her shoulder.
"You don't mind if I watch, do you?" Emma asked softly.
Regina smirked a bit. Then shook her head and concentrated on the zipper once more. Tugged it further and further down until the dress became loose around her and then ended up on the floor. What a mess. She frowned slightly as she bent over to pick it up.
"Oh dear god," Emma half-groaned and actually sounded a bit distressed.
Regina's shoulders shook in silent amusement as she moved her hands to the front clasp in her bra. After a moment of fidgeting, that too ended up on the floor.
"You know, I can't decide whether I want you to turn around or not," Emma sounded like she was partially joking and was partially serious. Perhaps she thought that they should have gone back to her place instead too.
Regina turned her head and flashed Emma an amused grin.
"Yeah, you know what, don't turn around," Emma said hastily. "I don't wanna scare Zelena. Or Henry."
Okay, okay. No teasing then. At least not much. She couldn't resist flashing Emma another little over-the-shoulder-smirk before stepping into her pajama bottoms and slipping her arms through the sleeves. Behind her, Emma stood from the bed, grabbed her toothbrush from the duffel bag and then brushed past her as disappeared out of the door.
Once she was gone, Regina rumbled quietly to herself. She was ninety nine percent sure Emma had brushed her hips against hers on purpose. She buttoned the pajama top, but not all the way and then examined herself in the full-figure mirror. Her neck looked a bit red where she had scratched earlier. Regina lightly touched the spot. A bit itchy still. She didn't want to end up accidentally scratching during the night. She had done that once and her neck had been covered in crusts of dried blood next morning. It had looked a right mess and had honestly been a bit frightening to wake up to too. But it had taught her to always, always use that special cream that soothed her itching. And that was exactly what she was planning on doing tonight too.
Regina opened her bedside drawer and found the bottle of lotion. Half-full still. Excellent. She wouldn't need to buy more of it anytime soon then.
She was in full swing with rubbing the lotion onto her throat when Emma came back inside the bedroom. Regina let her gaze linger on Emma's bare legs for just a moment. Ended up swallowing a bit too audibly. Emma truly looked wonderful in nothing but a tanktop.
Emma climbed into bed and propped herself up on one elbow. She was clearly watching her. And Regina didn't mind that at all. Quite the contrary, she liked when Emma was looking at her. No matter what she was doing.
After a moment, Regina finished up rubbing lotion onto the itchy spot on her neck and let the bottle disappear back into the drawer again. Then she turned her head and smiled at Emma.
Emma lightly patted the empty spot next to her in the bed and grinned at her as she said: "come, be my little spoon."
Little spoon, huh? Well, Regina definitely could be that. She slipped into bed and settled in her arms.
Emma wrapped her arms around her immediately. "You're cool with being the little spoon, right?"
Regina gave a long, deep sigh in response. That had to be answer enough, right? She let out another little sigh. This was lovely. She had always loved that Emma had such long limbs, but this was definitely another bonus. Emma's long limbs were perfect for spooning. Molded perfectly after her body. Regina really liked being the little spoon. Their proportions fitted so well together.
"This is nice," Emma murmured, burying her nose in Regina's hair.
Regina nodded and smiled when she felt Emma inhale deeply and breathed in the scent of her hair. She often did that. Perhaps she found the scent soothing. Regina reminded herself never to change shampoo.
"Someone once told me that spooning was overrated," Emma muttered into Regina's hair. "They were horrendously wrong."
Regina's eyes narrowed and she was glad that Emma couldn't see how angry she looked. Who had told Emma that bullshit? Lily? Regina held back a low growl. This wasn't the first time she had wanted to find Lily and give that girl a piece of her mind. She had clearly been a rather uncaring person, and it broke Regina's heart to think of the kind, caring and loving Emma being in a relationship with someone who was so cold and showed so little emotion.
She exhaled, reminded herself that getting all murderous wasn't healthy. She didn't want to think about Lily. Emma was here with her. That was all that mattered.
Regina pushed the unwelcome thoughts about Lily away and let her thoughts back to their night out instead. That had been such a fun evening. How they had danced and laughed and flirted. And they hadn't been the only ones. Regina once again felt amused when she thought of Malena and Ursula. That had definitely been a surprise. Trust Malena to start dating her receptionist and ignore every company rule ever made.
First she sighed because god old Malena, always choosing the least obvious thing in the whole world, but the more she thought about it, the more amused she became, and when Emma squeezed her shoulder gently, Regina actually ended up rumbling quietly and making her shoulders shake.
"Oh sorry, am I tickling you?"
Regina shook her head in negative. No, for once, she was not amused because Emma had found a ticklish spot.
"No? Then what's funny?" Emma inquired.
Well, Regina would have LOVED to answer that, but…. She sighed gravely, then turned around in Emma's arms, so they were face to face. She turned her palms upwards in a defeated gesture.
"What? Oh, you don't have your phone with you, do you?"
Correct. She indeed did not have her phone here right now. And honestly, she was not sure how to sign the answer. It was starting to get late, and Regina always found it harder to sign when she was tired.
"Okay. Hold on two tics," Emma said, arms loosening their grip around Regina and then disappearing entirely.
Regina mourned that for a few seconds and then grew worried as she saw Emma push herself up from the bed and nearly stumbling on her way over to the duffel bag. Oh dear, that looked a bit unsteady. It would appear that the champagne had gone straight to Emma's legs now. Regina hoped that she wasn't gonna fall over or something.
But luckily, Emma did not fall. Instead she found what she was looking for in the pocket of her jeans. Her phone. Not wanting to fall was clearly on her mind too, and she was being very careful as she walked back to the bed and climbed up. Flashed Regina a proud smile as she handed her the phone with the words: "here you go, beautiful. The password's 'SwanApple815'. Capital 'S' in Swan and 'A' in apple."
'SwanApple'? Regina raised an eyebrow in curiosity as she accepted the phone.
"Yeah, I might have been thinking about your shampoo when I changed my password," Emma admitted and sounded a bit sheepish. She was very quick to change the subject too. "Now tell me what's funny. Please."
Well then. Regina rumbled in amusement as she unlocked Emma's phone, and as Emma made herself comfortable behind her once more, she began to tap in an answer on Emma's phone. 'I was just thinking about Malena and Ursula. I did not see that coming.' That had been really surprising indeed. Regina wasn't a 'busybody,' but at some point, she did want details on how Mal and Ursula started their relationship.
For now, she turned around in the bed. Then turned the screen towards Emma so she could read the message. She noted that Emma squinted a bit as she looked at the screen. Oh. Regina should have turned down the screen brightness a little. She supposed it was a bit much during this late hour.
"Oh," Emma chuckled. "It's literally the worst kept secret in the office."
Yes, apparently so. Regina rumbled in amusement once more.
"She was happy to see you. Malena, I mean."
Yes, she sure was. And seeing her had been nice. It always was. Regina nodded.
"How long were you and she together?"
Now where on earth did that come from? Was this just Emma being a little drunk? The question took Regina by surprise, but she nonetheless held up four fingers in response.
"Four years?" Emma guessed.
Regina nodded. Correct. Four years minus the on and off stuff. Including her damned thirtieth birthday where she and Mal ended up in bed together. Again. Maybe she would tell Emma about that someday.
"Wow," Emma said, sounding like she was impressed. "That's a pretty long time when you're that young."
It was. Regina noddingly agreed with that.
"How come you guys broke up?"
Goodness, she was certainly 'dealing' with a very curious Swan tonight. Not that she minded of course. Regina shrugged lightly. Then began to write down a more fulfilling answer on Emma's phone. 'I suppose we just grew apart. Our breakup wasn't dramatic in any way. We parted as friends.' Concluding the message, she turned the screen brightness down a notch before turning the screen towards Emma.
"And stayed friends ever since," Emma observed after having read the message. "That's pretty impressive."
Was it though? Was it really? A hidden pocket of insecurity tugged away somewhere within Regina suddenly opened up and made her frown. Made her tap on Emma's phone and ask: 'does it bother you that I am still friends with her? I know it's strange that I'm such good friends with her considering that she's my ex and all.' She wasn't quite sure why, but the talk about Mal had made Killian's ultimatum echo in her head. Threesome or nothing. No contact. No meetups. No calling. No texting. Not even a birthday greeting on Facebook. Nothing. And since Regina obviously had refused to suggest anything of the sort to Mal, the choice had been nothing. She had cut Mal out of her life because Killian had found it 'fucking weird' how close they still were. It hadn't mattered when Regina pointed out that she was Henry's godmother. According to Killian, that made the whole thing even more weird. 'Nobody is such good friends with their ex, babe,' he'd said to her. 'It's dodgy. It'll never be anything but dodgy.'
Regina knew that he hadn't been right. But right now, the insecurity was getting the best of her, and so she turned the screen towards Emma so she could read the message.
"No!" Emma said very, very firmly and immediately after having read the message. "It does not bother me. At all. You can be friends with whoever you want. I happen to trust you completely. And I happen to trust Malena too."
Regina relaxed again. Of course. Obviously, she already knew that.
But she had to check.
She just had to check.
And god, that was annoying!
She didn't want Killian Jones to still have this kind of power over her. She didn't want him and his 'rules' to be the reason why she had to check if a perfectly okay thing truly WAS okay. She didn't want those pockets of memories to suddenly pop open when she least expected it. She wanted them to stay shut. For good. Stay in a place where they couldn't bother her.
Where they couldn't make her check.
"I actually think you should hang more out with her," Emma said softly, pulling Regina out of her musings. "Don't you think that could be a good idea?"
Regina gave a nod. She'd like that. She'd like that a lot. God knows that she had missed having Malena in her life.
"We could go on a double date with her and Ursula," Emma added with a chuckle. "Couldn't that be fun?"
Highly entertaining, yes. Regina smiled at the thought. Malena hadn't been very good at going on dates when they were dating. It could be interesting to see if that had changed now that she was with a different partner. Regina smiled again. She had seen the way Malena and Ursula had looked at each other tonight, and she was so very happy for her oldest friend. Ursula had seemed like a lovely woman. And a very special one too. Otherwise Malena never would have taken interest in her. Regina was not concerned at all. If Mal had decided that Ursula was the right choice for her, then Ursula was the right choice for her. Period.
Now she actually really wanted to go on a double date with Mal and Ursula. She wanted the chance to see them be all 'lovey-dovey' with each other again.
Emma snickered. She clearly could imagine it too. How entertaining a double date with Mal and Ursula would be.
Regina's flicker of anxiety hastily melted away and when Emma slid closer and buried her nose in her hair again and 'mm'ed!', Regina couldn't help but to shiver slightly.
"Should I stop doing that?" Emma oh, so innocently murmured into her hair.
Regina shook her head.
"Okay then." Emma gave her hair another prolonged sniff.
Regina shivered again. Might have made a teeny tiny sound in the back of her throat.
"Careful, lovely," Emma sniggered. "Zelena might hear you."
She gave Emma a light shove at that. Seriously? That was the jokes of all jokes now? Okay then. Well, they could just wait until she had her voice back! Then she'd show them loud! THEN that stupid warning would apply!
When she had her voice back… God, it was too early to think such big thoughts.
"It's like being tapped by a feather, babe," Emma gently teased her. And once again distracted her.
Regina scrunched up her nose in response. A feather, really? Not very impressive. But she'd take it. It actually sounded rather sweet. And besides, she was very successfully distracted when Emma started to run her fingertips up and down her back. She shivered again. Let Emma repeat the motion once, twice before turning around so she once again was face to face with Emma. Without hesitation, she leaned in and kissed her, delighted at the little 'mph' of surprise Emma let out. That was a good sound. A very, very good sound.
But the only sound too. Although Emma tenderly cupped her cheeks as they kissed, there was no 'funny business' tonight. Just a modest, closemouthed kiss.
But it still had Regina's heart beating in that way. It still had her smiling into the kiss that tasted of a mixture of champagne and toothpaste. It still had her falling in love with Emma in a million different ways all over again. It still had her longing for so much more.
Yes, there was many ways to kiss someone. Many, many ways indeed. But all of them always lead to the same result when the person you were kissing happened to be Emma Swan.
Happiness. Unbridled, unapologetic happiness.
After a moment, they broke apart, and Emma teased: "that was really nice."
Understatement much? Regina smirked a little.
Emma began to gently caress her cheek and Regina leaned into the touch. Closed her eyes. That was 'really nice' too. One could drift off when Emma did that.
"Can I ask you something?"
Alright. So no drifting off quite yet. Regina nodded and opened her eyes once more.
"You've been pretty hesitant about the surgery. What made you change your mind?" Emma gently asked.
That was a very fair question and one that Regina had waited for. She had figured that they weren't quite done talking about the surgery yet. She reached for Emma's phone. Typed in the password and opened a new message so she could write her answer down. There were many. She could have named a million different things as the main reason, but really, it came down to one thing.
'I finally realized that I owe it to myself to give it a chance.', she wrote and flipped the screen towards Emma. She owed it to herself to give herself the opportunity to make new memories with her voice. She owed it to herself to once again be able to tell her son that she loved him. And she owed it to herself to finally be able to say Emma's name out loud.
"You do," Emma said softly after having read the message.
The hope of new opportunities drifted away and was replaced with anxiety and early disappointment. Regina wrote a new message. 'Apparently, this particular kind of surgery is very successful, so I'm trying to be optimistic about it, even though it's hard. I keep thinking about the operation I've already had, the one that failed.'
It was pessimistic. She knew it was. But she also knew that it was alright to be pessimistic once in a while. With her history, the failed operation, and the unsuccessful injections, she was allowed to be pessimistic.
"I understand that," Emma said softly. "But this could actually work. You know that, right?"
It could. It most certainly could. Doctor Anton had made a point of explaining that to her. As though he was afraid that Regina would change her mind. She was not going to do that. But there were still many downsides to getting that operation. One of them in particular had her wrinkling her nose in disdain.
"What?" Emma queried and lifted an eyebrow.
'Liquid diet. Again.' Regina wrote and turned the screen towards Emma. Liquid diet…. And no sex for six weeks. She was not going to write that down, though. She figured they could mourn that loss together when the time came. Seriously, no sex for six weeks was cruel. Couldn't the hospital be less strict about that? Couldn't they bend the rules a little? Wasn't there some kind of way to work around them?
"Oh," Emma said and chuckled softly, interrupting Regina's train of thoughts. "Well, I'll be happy to feet you ice cream until you're allowed to eat real food again."
Regina cracked a smile. And thought to herself that she of course not was going to work around any rules or bend them.
They would simply have to have a lot of sex BEFORE the operation.
Which wouldn't be bad at all either…
"And soup," Emma added. "Do you like chicken soup?"
She did. Regina nodded.
"Onion soup?"
Regina nodded again. Onion soup was good too. One of her favorites, actually.
"How about... carrot soup?" Emma asked with a chuckle and for some reason was still amused when Regina nodded in confirmation. "Right. You like carrot soup. Of course you do. I don't actually know how to make that, but rest assure I'll learn it before you have the operation."
Emma would learn to make a specific soup just to give her variety after the surgery? If that wasn't the sweetest thing, Regina didn't know what was.
It was just another of those things that made Emma so goddamn perfect. Those little things that Emma had no idea she was doing. Those small gestures that came so naturally to her.
For Regina, who had been with someone who had not practiced little gestures unless they were menacing gestures, this meant the whole world. That Emma did and said things that were so sweet without even realizing.
It only cemented how good a person Emma was. It only cemented that she was a peson who did not have a single bad bone in her body.
Regina smiled tenderly at Emma as she put the phone away on the nightstand. Part of her wanted to tell Emma how much she appreciated that little gesture. But she feared that she would end up blubbering if she tried, and she didn't want that to happen. That would only scare Emma and make her worried. Definitely not how Regina wanted to end this very successful, happy night they'd had. No tears. Only smiles.
So instead she slid closer to Emma, and she was not disappointed when Emma started to scratch-scratch- scratch her fingers up and down her back again.
That felt really nice. Admittedly, it also gave her goosebumps, but for tonight, Regina was able to push that feeling away and only focus on how nice and soothing it felt.
At first, Emma drew a lazy pattern that did not make sense, but then Regina smiled as she recognized the three little words being written on her back. Three little words she had heard many times over the past few weeks.
Emma kept writing the declaration of love on her back over and over again, and a wave of sleepiness rolled over Regina. She closed her eyes and intertwined her legs with Emma's. This was exactly how she wanted to go to sleep tonight. Happy. Safe. And completely entangled with Emma Swan…
To Be Continued….