Previously, on Zootopia Files...

XXXX

"Nick... I'm pregnant, and you're the father." Judy said.

"Well... that's unexpected. I mean... from a biological perspective." Nick said in bewilderment.

XXXX

"Okay," Judy said as she and Nick looked at a rat in a chef's uniform. "You mind explaining WHY Nick and shouldn't slap you a with a health code violation?" She asked sternly.

"My staff washes their hands... and it's mandatory to wear biohazard suits when working. Better safe than sorry right?" Remy the rat chef said.

"We mean for THAT!" Nick said furiously, pointing at the dismembered body parts lining the kitchen walls. Fly's clearly buzzing around them. "What were you thinking... letting fly's back here?"

XXXX

"Bogo... I'm pregnant, and you're the father." Judy said.

"Hopps, I'm already a happily married man and you know it," Bogo said incredulously. "I don't even find you all that attractive, to be frank."

XXXX

"Alright, so is this ALL the junk food you have in your apartment?" Judy asked of Clawhauser, both of them standing beside a small hill of junk food.

"Yes," Benjamin said hastily, and looking anxious.

"Hmm... show me your left paw," Judy commanded, Benjamin showed his left paw. "AND your right." Benjamin showed his right paw. "And open your mouth." Benjamin opened his mouth. "Hmm... you seem clean," Judy said.

Then Kaitlin entered the room. "Benjamin Copernicus Clawhauser! Are you thinking about eating my crackers?" Kaitlin said as she took a box of crackers that Benjamin was balancing on his bottom. "You know these are my special treat! NOT! For you!" The she-wolf said as she opened a box and ate a handful of crackers.

Judy looked confused. "I... I'M SORRY I LIED TO YOU!" Benjamin said as he fell down on his knee's before his friend.

"I... I... your middle name is COPERNICUS?!"

XXXX

"Anna... I'm pregnant, and you're the father." Judy said; Anna looked understandably confused by this non-sequitur.

"...no... Not even if I was alive no... how would that- no. We've never even- no... Just... just no." Anna said in well-justified disbelief.

XXXX

On Christmas morning, the Hopps-Wildes were celebrating the holiday... in particular, Davies was enjoying the gift he had given to his Spirit Guardian nephew Olaf. "This... this is too cute to properly put into words." Davies gushed as Olaf waddled around in his penguin costume.

"You are such a good uncle, Davies," Judy said in agreement as Nick recorded Olaf's antics on his phone, particularly when Olaf hugged Pandora.

"Okay... is it possible to get diabetes from seeing cute things?" Davies asked woozily as he foamed at the mouth, and then he fell onto his face.

"Probably not, but cuteness overload is apparently a thing. Who would've thought- WHAT THE?!" Nick said as he noticed that his wife had passed out in a similar manner. "It's going to be a Hareculean effort just to get you out of that costume, isn't it Night Light?" Nick said to Olaf. Olaf just imitated an emperor penguin chick's call.

XXXX

"Aka... I'm pregnant, and you're the father." Judy said to a very perplexed red panda.

"...h-have we even met before?" Aka asked, completely thrown off by the question asked of her.

XXXX

"So... why is everyone wearing green Ursula-sama?" Aka asked of her co-worker, a female fennec fox sitting next to her.

"St. Patrick's Day, and for the last time don't call me 'sama'. Anyway, everyone wear's green... almost everyone at least." Ursula explained.

"Oh... what happens to those who don't?" Aka asked anxiously, then a bosun's whistle sounded.

"LEPRECHAUN ON DECK!" Davies yelled in an Irish accent, as he sped out of the elevator in a leprechaun costume and riding a tricycle. All the while tossing around green and gold confetti, and badly singing Irish folk songs.

"Well, usually you only get pinched... here though," Ursula said as Davies drove past the two women... and then backed up.

"Ahem... you seem to be missen' a little bit o' the green," Davies said in an ominous tone to Aka.

"W-What... what are you going to do to me?" Aka asked anxiously, Davies had a mischievous look on his face.

"First..." Davies said, and he pinched Aka's cheek. "And second..." he said as he rifled through a bag, got a green bow, and fitted it on Aka's head. He didn't say anything as he went back to his antics.

"You know... he might be a demented man-child. But that bow does look cute on you." Ursula said.

XXXX

"And the results are... your all the father!" A doctor said to a room full of the previously mentioned characters.

"Wha-... HOW?!" Nick yelled in disbelief as everyone else either fainted or angrily tried to make sense of the news... particularly the one of them that's undead.

"Oh, well that's actually very easy to explain." The doctor said.

XXXX

But we don't have time for that logic-defying answer now, we have to get to the conclusion of the story... seriously, it doesn't even involve the plot.

XXXX

Nick and Judy's police cruiser arrived at the scene, as the various Super Heroes of the Zootopia Vigilante Registration Program fought with the rampaging monster. Spider-Ham was thrown into the cruisers rear door.

"Want to sit this one out Porker?" Nick said sardonically to the mildly concussed pig.

"Nick... that beast ain't pulling any punches," Peter said as he nursed his bruise.

"How bad can an ill-tempered giant red panda be?" Nick said. The nine tailed red panda monster quickly answered that question, by swatting Thor and knocking him unconscious in the process. "All that proves is that you're made of sterner stuff then a god... or whatever Thor is. Carrots lets- oh sweat cheese and crackers." Nick said as he noticed that Judy had run off to fight the monster.

"TASTE MY BURNING ANGER! FEEL MY BLAZING SCORN!" The creature roared as it breathed fire, Judy sled under it and fired darts into the monsters underside. "I WILL MAKE YOU REGRET THAT YOU WERE EVER BORN!" It roared as Judy was swatted by one of the creature's tails. Judy jumped from a wall... and for her troubles. The creature gouged out her left eye.

And then threw Judy into the cruiser next to Spider-Ham. "JUDY!" Nick yelled in shock as he saw his wife bleeding from her eye.

"Nick... I'm not really in any shape to get back into the fight. I'll try to keep Judy from bleeding out." Peter said earnestly.

"That'll do pig... that'll do," Nick said, seething with rage at the sight of his wife wound. "In the meantime..." He said as he went inside the cruiser, and opened the glove compartment. Inside was the Mask of Loki. "I'm'a gonna break out the big guns," Nick said as he donned the mask. In a tornado of magic, he turned into Inigo Foxtoya. "Monster!" He said in a suave Spanish accent. "My name is Nicholas Piberius Wilde. You have gravely injured the love of my life. Prepare to die." The Mask said, pointing his rapier at the beast.

The two engaged in a fierce battle. With Nick turning into increasingly large monsters to wear down the nine-tailed beast, eventually Nick unwittingly cut the talisman around her neck... turning her back into the meek and unassuming red panda accountant, Aka Gekido, now completely naked and shivering in the street. "W-What... what has happened?"

"You tell me," Nick said after he had taken the Mask off. "You tore up must of downtown Zootopia, took down the powerful king of a race of gods. AND disfigured my wife." Nick said, he then noticed the talisman on the ground. "Where did you get this? I have no idea what this actually is. But I'm pretty sure it's WHY you were a giant nine-tailed beastie less than a minute ago."

"T-Two... two mice... they gave it to me while I was at work." Aka croaked.

"And where would work be exactly?" Nick asked, trying his hardest not to lose his temper with the young red panda.

"Bl-Blackpaw... Blackpaw Publishing... Accounting Department." Aka stuttered.

XXXX

At Cranium and Thumbs hideout, Nick and Judy busted in, Judy now wearing an eyepatch over her left eye socket. "Looks clear... now let's see if those mice are here." Judy said in an uncharacteristically stern tone.

"Little guys could be hiding anywhere... like this BOX!" Nick said as he took a nearby box and shook it. No noises came from it that would have indicated that there were mice hiding in it. "Apparently not this box."

"Thumb... are those pirates here because of that incident with the talisman and the red panda?" Cranium asked as he and Thumb hid behind a desk.

"No doubt, we must escape and relocate our operations to another location," Thumb said.

"What operations? We're not surgeons." Cranium said.

"Our plans to take over the world... the thing we do every other night since we first met." Thumb said in frustration.

"Oh, THAT thing!... but how do we get out of here?" Cranium asked.

"There's a mouse hole near the bathroom. We go through there, and we'll be scot-free." Thumb said.

"But... do we really have to leave? We've lived here for over twenty years." Cranium said solemnly.

"You want to say goodbye to everything in the lab, don't you?" Thumb said Cranium nodded tearfully. "Fine... just keep quiet and keep out of sight while you do it." He said in frustration, knowing the commotion that Cranium would cause if he didn't allow him his silly and demented sentimentality.

Cranium went around the lab, saying goodbye to everything in the building that he could find. From actual lab equipment to stains. "There... I think that was everyone." Cranium said as he wiped away a tear.

"Then let's blow this Popsicle stand," Thumb said as he and Cranium ran towards the aforementioned mouse hole... and were scooped up by Judy, and swiftly bopped on the head.

"NARG!... that was quite a bop Thumb." Cranium said.

"That wasn't your friend," Judy said, grasping both mice in her hand. "Your under arrest on multiple conspiracies to take over the world. Impersonation... and getting me hospitalized by proxy!"

"Not kidding, she spent all of last week high on morphine." Nick chimed in.

"I tasted music and smelled color for a full seven days because of you two," Judy said.

"What?! We never gouged out anyone's eyes! Never, never, never!" Cranium objected.

"So you deny that YOU gave Aka Gekido a cursed talisman that caused her to transform into a monster?" Judy said.

"Oh... well that we did then." Cranium said.

"Then trust me gentlemen," Judy said as she and Nick went back to their cruiser. "For this, my husband and I are going to make it our lives work." She then threw the two into a glass cage in the back seat. "To keep you two behind bars for as long as possible." She then closed the door on the cage.

"You... you want to talk about it, Judy?" Nick asked as he and his wife sat down in the front seats.

"Nick, in the last week I lost my eye because of those two... I think I'm a little justified in being rough." Judy said as she slumped down in the passenger seat. "And of course Bogo doesn't trust me to drive anymore because of my lack of depth perception. And my partner and husband is the slowest driver in Zootopia!"

"Cautious Carrots... just cautious. Also, do you think I should add 'Little Bunny Foo Foo' to the list?" Nick said Judy, snorted in surprise.

"Nick! You big goof." Judy said as she pulled Nick into a kiss.

XXXX

"You know, I really think those two makes an adorable couple. NARG!" Cranium said as he and Thumb were now in a cell.

"Quiet Cranium... we need to be ready for tomorrow night," Thumb said irritably.

"To take over the world?" Cranium said, expecting the obvious answer.

"Actually... no. First, we escape Isle Purgatory. Then try to take over the world!" Thumb said, defiant in the face of his and his friend's present situation.