I looked at him with surprise. The guilt of keeping things from him was gnawing at my stomach making me feel slightly nauseated. He was so trusting and open with me and I was keeping secrets from him. Why does he have to keep looking at me like that? I swallow a large gulp of wine and its pleasant taste is quite refreshing.
"What do you have planned for us Remus?
"Show and tell, love".
He looks at me with an expression that reminds me of a child who just got caught with its hand in the cookie jar and yet tries to make itself look cute so you'll let it go. His smile is mischievous and playful and it makes me want to kiss him senseless.
I snorted.
"Do you mean like what children do when they bring something from their homes and then share it with the rest of the class?"
His eyes fill with lust as he looks at me while taking a sip of his wine.
"Well, we both have things to explain to each other and I figure we can tell each other what we need to say while we show each other how we like to be touched and caressed. That dress is so tempting and distracting, it would tempt even a saint, so its better to get you out of it so I can focus on what's important".
Just then Alex came back with our three starters and before I know what I'm saying.
"Alex, I'm sorry we didn't say anything before but something important has come up, can you box up everything for us to take to-go?"
I see the surprise on Remus' face but I subtly shake my head no and he nods slightly.
"Certainly miss. I will box them up personality".
"Thank you very much, Alex. I really appreciate it!"
The minute Alex leaves us I can't help but speak.
"I have to tell you everything now. I've carried this guilt for some time and seeing how much you trust me and how wonderful you are makes my heart ache. I can't just sit here with you now, at least not until I know what you choose".
"Why didn't you just tell me before?"
"I was scared"
"You mentioned that earlier, you said you were scared of me".
"Yes, of how much you would hurt me if you left. I've been selfish all this time because I would rather have you with me with an omission than leaving me due to the truth".
He reached over and touched my forearm with his hand
"I'm sure its not nearly as bad as it seems darling."
"Well, once you know then you can tell me how bad it is".
"I promise, no matter what you tell me, that I'll listen and try to understand".
Alex comes back with multiple bags.
"Here we are sir and ma'am. Have a good night".
Remus stands, places his hand in his pocket and pulls out a few bills.
"This should cover it. Thank you for taking such good care of us".
"Thank you sir". I say softly, eyes downcast as my heart breaks.
Remus offers me his arm and I take it as we walk forward.
Once we leave the patio we are covered with darkness. He shrinks the bags and places them in his pocket. This may be the last time we do this, the last time he lets me walk with him. I'd better enjoy it while it lasts.
Once we enter the shade of the trees he stops us.
"Ready to go?"
"Yes, let's get this over with"
He uses his free hand and places it on my waist and I feel a tugging sensation and suddenly I hear the clack from my heals as my feet land on a hardwood floor.
"Lumos"
Suddenly I see I'm in a room I've never been in before and its lovely with cathedral ceilings and floor to ceiling windows. Beautiful burgundy hardwoods are surrounded by walls covered in beautiful wainscoting that has been painted gray. Soft looking beige couches surround a beautiful raw wood coffee table. Along the walls are plenty of ornately carved end-tables and chairs, while the walls themselves have paintings in the style of Degas and Edward Hopper hanging on the walls.
"Where are we?"
"We're in my house."
I felt like the world had just turned upside down.
I was speechless. I decided to stare at a painting rather than make a fool of myself. I had so many questions, but I wasn't sure how to word all of them.
I turned my eyes to the painting directly before me and was instantly drawn to it because it reminded me of why I loved Degas so much, how he was so good with portraying movement. The woman was in the middle of a garden playing with a little dog. You could see how playful and rambunctious the dog was was and how much joy she brought her mistress. She was timelessly beautiful.
I felt Remus come up behind me.
"You seem to like the paintings".
"Yes, they are quite lovely. They remind me so much of Degas and Edward Hopper.
"You have a good eye for art, but I shouldn't be surprised".
"Well I love their artworks immensely. I've never seen these painting before, whoever painted them is very talented to be able to imitate the greats so well!".
Remus laughs softly.
"No, these are originals. Here eat this while I tell you about them".
I take what Remus hands me and it looks like an aluminum foil swan that has been opened to reveal what looked to be the lobster risotto. He hands me a gold fork and I can't bring myself to eat, too many surprises coupled with too many questions and my own guilt had my stomach in knots. However, the heavenly smell coming off the risotto made my stomach growl loudly and I immediately scooped up some and ate it. It tasted even better than it smelled and I closed my eyes as I tasted the buttery risotto with the sweet smoky lobster. I couldn't help but moan softly, it was easily the best risotto I had ever had.
I felt a finger touch my face. So beautiful and responsive when you eat.
I could hear affection in his tone and I opened my eyes to see him looking at me with genuine care in his eyes.
"This was a portrait of my grandfather's first wife Catherine, painted by Degas in 1871. He met her through his sister at a party for the elite. He was captivated by her beauty, in much the same way as I am captivated by yours".
I feel Remus wrap his arms around my waist and pull me in toward his chest.
"She wasn't like any other woman he had ever met before, she came from a wealthy family and was very opinionated and strong willed. He fell in love with her and he gave her this as a present, the first of many. If you look closely enough the same woman is in all of them".
"What happened to their romance? I'm assuming you're not a direct descendant of Degas?"
His laughter is louder and fuller this time. I feel Remus moving my hair over to one side.
"No, I'm not. She was engaged during this time to my grandfather and she had already promised herself to him. She rebuffed Degas many times for his advances but eventually she could no longer hide her feelings and eventually she fell for Degas even harder than he fell for her, she loved his adventurous spirit and the romanticism of being an artist. She never felt it would be right to abandon her promise even if it meant losing her love. She and my grandfather were married in 1878. Degas painted The Star shortly after… apparently the ominous man in the wings is my grandfather".
his advances but eventually she could no longer hide her feelings and eventually she fell for Degas even harder than he fell for her, she loved his adventurous spirit and the romanticism of being an artist. She never felt it would be right to abandon her promise even if it meant losing her love. She and my grandfather were married in 1878. Degas painted The Star shortly after… apparently the ominous man in the wings is my grandfather".
Remus gently began kissing the back of my neck while his hands work to remove my wrap.
I hear my wrap fall to the floor and I feel his hands lightly tracing the back of my neck. When his hands wander further down between my shoulder blades I feel so aroused I can't help but shiver and moan at his attentions.
I feel him pull back and I whimper at the lost of touch.
He gently slides the spaghetti strap off my right shoulder and begins kissing my flesh
"Fuck, promise me you will never wear this dress for anyone but me".
"Remus" I murmur.
Merlin it feels good to have him hold me like this. All I can think about is how his hands feel on my body and how much better it is than even I could've ever imagined. But I have to stop this before it goes too far, before I lose myself completely in him.
"If you don't stop touching me like that I'll never be able to tell you what I need to".
Remus backs away from me and I turn to face him. He gently grabs my arm and pulls me toward his massive couch that could easily seat 10. I sit and immediately I feel the couch sink under my weight and I feel like I'm sitting on a cloud. Its easily the most comfortable couch I've ever sat on in my life.
Suddenly plates, cutlery, a champagne bottle appear along with champagne flutes appear on the coffee table before us. I gently sit my half eaten risotto down on the table while Remus efficiently pops the cork out of the bottle and pours some into each glass and then hands me one before he takes a seat.
I gently lift my glass and say "To no more secrets"
Remus clinks his glass with mine and then takes a sip of his drink while I take a gulp. I am going to need a lot of courage for this.
"Trying to attain that liquid courage I see. This must be difficult for you to discuss with me. I promise I will listen and I will try to understand".
I empty my glass and take a deep breath.
"Earlier, I mentioned that I called to you when you were in your werewolf form during my third year and you responded and came toward me which only should happen when one of your kind calls to you".
"Yes I remember".
"Well it perplexed me how this could happen since we both know I'm not a werewolf so I went and found every text ever written on werewolves and it took me about three years to cross-reference and separate the truth from the bigoted lies many of the authors tell and still I could find nothing of interest until Harry, Ron, and I started learning about Horcruxes"
"Horcruxes"?
Remus' expression was puzzled now as was mine was when I figured it all out.
"Dumbledore bequeathed Secrets of the Darkest Art to me upon his death. Dumbledore and I make an unbreakable vow that I would only share the information contained within if it would keep someone from harm".
"The only reason I can tell you about this now is because I want to give you he chance to make an informed choice regarding your own safety. Usually a horcrux is made when one intentionally kills another which causes a metaphysical splitting of their soul that they then encase in something else through the use of magicks. The horcrux can then keep the person alive even if their physical body dies which is why Voldemort created so many of them".
I watched as Remus flinched as I said Voldemort's name.
"How does this all relate to us"?
"Well, once I understood that, the valid information regarding werewolf mates made more sense".
"If we were to become a mated pair, we would be intentionally killing ourselves and a part of your soul would become tied to mine and vice versa. We would in essence become horcruxes".
"Mated pair. Does this mean we're mates"?
"Yes Remus. It does".
I watched a smirk touch his lips.
"Why were you able to call to me before I mated and marked you"?
"Because Moony recognized me when I called because I became your secret keeper during my third year which is one way to unintentionally mark another"
"How did you become my secret keeper and which secret were you keeping"?
"Well once I realized that your boggart was the full moon and I deduced that you were a werewolf, I noticed how much effort you took to hide your condition so I assumed that you wanted it to be kept secret. Once I started studying werewolves and their treatment I could understand why you would want that information hidden. Flitwick was teaching us about the fidelius charm and I wanted to practice it so I performed it on myself without realizing that I wasn't the only person to have that knowledge and without understanding that unless you gave me the knowledge, it wasn't really a secret I could keep anyway, however it did bind us together, albeit unintentionally since I did not understand at the time that it would have this effect. Luckily for us the lack of intention is what has kept us from becoming Horcruxes".