The tinkling tune of Ride of the Valkyries blasted out from the ice cream truck-turned-racecar as it trundled down the road, going as fast it possibly could. The two parties who idled on the side of the desolate road, turned confused at the sound of the ice cream truck as it crested over the horizon with all the grace of a bull in a china shop. "…Is that" Luther mused, confused as he tilted his head and readjusted his grip on the briefcase. "Is that her?"
"Mm" Five hummed, not quite answering his brother as he too, turned in confusion at the strange choice of transportation.
Usually the Handler would prefer more classy modes, such as a briefcase or a vintage car; not a rickety old ice cream van. The next few moments seemed to pass in a mixture of slow motion and fast forward as the ice cream truck flew past, revealing the visage of a cheerful Klaus (who had never driven a vehicle before) behind the steering wheel, a very fearful Diego who had jammed himself into the furtherest corner of the passenger's seat whilst he licked at a half-eaten popsicle and in the bed of the truck, a flash of Theodore could be seen rooting around in the frozen stores.
"What the hell are they doing here?" Five muttered dumbfoundedly as the ice cream barrelled down the road towards the two assassins stood on the other side of the road.
"Uh…" Luther seemed almost impressed as he waved hesitantly back at his ice cream-splattered nephew who stood framed in the back window of the truck as they passed by.
"GO FASTER!" Diego shouted over the roar of the engine, clearly afraid of the fact that Klaus was behind the wheel and driving. Which was expected, considering the fact that as far as Diego knew, Klaus couldn't drive; or at least not very well and had been rather surprised at the ease at which he operated the squat truck. (Ben on the other hand, knew that this new found skill was thanks to his trip into the past where he had been forced to learn how to drive the military convoys, because in that sense, an ice cream truck wasn't that far off a convoy).
"I FEEL THE NEED~" Klaus grinned as he obliged, stepping harder on the accelerator until it was practically laying flat on the floor. "THE NEED FOR SPEED~!"
("WHEEEEEE!" Ben gleefully threw his hands up in the air as they hurriedly went over a hump, sending the seated occupants flying for a little bit. Klaus spared a wicked grin towards his brother who seemed to be having the time of his life. Or, more technically, his afterlife).
"AY! WATCH IT!" Diego cried, bumping his head on the overhanging handlebar in the brief moment he had become airborne.
"YE OF LITTLE FAITH!"
"YOU'RE NUTS~!"
"HAHA~!"
"YOU GOOD, TEDDY?" Diego shot over his shoulder, turning slightly to catch a glimpse of their nephew who was nonchalantly sat midair with his legs crossed.
"YEAH!" Theodore replied in kind, as his tongue raced to lick up the melting ice cream in his hands.
Behind them, in the bed of the truck, Theodore had lifted his feet clear off of the floor and simply floated above the ground so that he did not have to worry about being bundled about like a marble in a tin can. The buzz of white noise filled the interior, although it was mostly drowned out by the roar of the engine and the hum of the ice cream machine (plus the fact that neither Theodore nor Diego seemed to even notice the strange intensity of the noise, was enough to assuage any concerns that Ben or Klaus might have).
"It's a set-up!" Cha-Cha cried in realisation, both assassins raising there firearms to shoot down the battering ram headed straight for them.
RATTA~TATTA~TAT! RATTA~TATTA~TAT! RATTA~TATTA~TAT!
Just as they had done before, bullets rained everywhere and they bounced off of whatever they could not pierce, leading the Hargreeves to duck for cover. Reacting quickly, Luther shoved the briefcase a little too hard into Five's hands before he pushed the smaller boy behind him and stood in front of him with arms spread out wide. Acting as a large meat shield, Luther stood tall & rigid as Five scrambled to get a hold of both the briefcase and to get his feet underneath him, as he rebounded off of the side of the car.
In turn, Hazel and Cha-Cha quickly met their fate as the hood of the ice cream truck continued on unbothered by their attempts to stop it, until they were kissing the hood of the vehicle. Neither party had been expecting the sudden crunch of the impact and Theodore's head whipped up at the sound just in time to see the two smartly-dressed assassins go flying backwards. It reminded him of the time that his vera had tossed his doro through the cabin wall, fuelled by her Legacies. Only this time, it was two people instead of one and instead of sonokinesis, it was an ice cream truck.
Suddenly, everything and everyone in the area came to a stop; it was like someone had sucked all the air from the street. From the nearby birds who had taken flight to the bullets that ricocheted off the side of the ice cream van that hung in midair and all sound from the world seemed to disappear like someone had hit the mute button. Settling the fake time travelling briefcase down on the ground at Luther's feet, Five made his way out from beneath his brother's shadow to investigate what was going on.
Coming out in front of the brother who had moved in front of him without a moment's hesitation; there he found Luther frozen with an expression of utter determination plastered across his face. It was a familiar expression; something that Five had seen time & time again, on missions and in training sessions. Across the way, Hazel and Cha-Cha had been tossed into the air and surrounded by the shrapnel of both their weapons & the debris kicked up from the collision. It was mind-boggling to say the least.
"Neat trick, isn't it?" Commented the Handler who watched her former employee inspect the frozen scene around him. Having used the chaos to appear and creep onto the scene without being seen, the blonde woman poised herself in the most dramatic way possible.
Geez…! Five flinched slightly at the familiar and chilling tone that ripped through the deafening silence. Spinning on his heel, he turned to face the blonde as he tried to compose himself by stuffing his hands into his pockets and hissing out a breath.
"Hello, Five" She greeted, smoothly pulling her sunglasses off as he came to stand in front of her. "You look good; all things considered"
"It's good to see you again" Five replied amicably (only kind of meaning it) as if he were talking to an old friend instead this snake of a woman. Dressed in black and red, the Handler stood tall & elegant as if her even being there could command respect. She wasn't wrong, though.
"Feels like we met only yesterday; course you were a little bit older then" The Handler mused pleasantly as she slotted her sunglasses into a pocket in her trench coat. "Congratulations on the age regression, by the way; very clever. Threw us all off of the scent, there"
"Ah, well, I wish I could take the credit" Five replied, slightly humbled as hungry eyes roved over the real time travelling briefcase in her hand. If he could just get his hand on it, then he could fix everything. "I just miscalculated the time dilation projections and…well, y'know, here I am"
"You do realise that your efforts are futile, don't you?" She quirked an expectant brow as she hid the briefcase behind her in a poor attempt to appear innocent. "So why don't you tell me that you really want?
"I want you to put a stop to it" Five stated as if it were obvious, copying her own stance as his hands slipped behind his back.
"You have to realise that what you're asking for is next to impossible, even for me, Five"
"Tch"
"What's meant to be, will be. That's our raison d'être"
"Yeah? How about 'survival' as our raison?" Five scoffed as he plucked a hidden pistol from his back pocket and casually trained it on the Handler. The woman barely even blinked an eye at the action (it was almost as if she were expecting it) and straightened up, with shoulders firmly set
"I'll just be replaced. I'm but a…small cog in machine~!" The Handler sang, shifting the briefcase to one hand so that she gesture flowery, to emphasise her point. Stalking forward, the blonde woman almost purred as a wicked grin curled at the corner of her lips. "This fantasy that you've been nurturing, about summoning up your little family to stop the apocalypse, is just that: a fantasy. I must say though, we were all quite impressed with your initiative and your…stick-to-itiveness. It's really quite…quite something. Which is why we want to offer you a new position back at the Commission; in management"
"Sorry, what's that now?"Five chuckled dryly in disbelief, gesturing wildly with the pistol.
"Come back to work for us again" The Handler continued, going in for the kill. "You know it's where you belong"
"Well, it didn't work out too well the last time, did it?" Five purred, narrowing his eyes with a smirk.
"But, but, but—! You wouldn't be in the Corrections Division any longer~!" She sang. "I'm talking about the Home Office"
"The Home Office?" He quirked a brow.
"You'd have the best health & pension and it would be an end to all this ceaseless travel. You are a professional, Five, a distinguished professional in…overalls"
"Hm" Five grunted as he pursed his lips in an effort to avoid falling under her spell. It wasn't working.
"You know that we have the technology to reverse the process" The Handler purred, one hand coming up to lower his gun. "I mean, you…you can't be happy like this"
"I'm not looking for happy" Five replied quietly, as he tried to find some sort of kink in her proverbial armour.
"We're all looking for happy" The Handler corrected, fondly caressing his cheek. "We can make that happen, we can turn back the clock and return you to yourself again"
"…And what about my family?" Five pursued after a moment of contemplation, gesturing to the scattered Hargreeves around them. Her spellbinding words were sounding more and more tempting with every breath. He didn't know if he could survive going through puberty again.
"What about them?" The Handler sighed tiredly, pulling back.
"I want them to survive"
"All of them?" The Handler chuckled dryly in disbelief.
"Yes" Five nodded succinctly, "All of them"
"…Well, I'll see what I can do" She sighed heavily.
"I'm not signing on the dotted line until I've read through everything" Five warned.
"You always were a smart one" The Handler smiled wickedly, looking like the cat who got the cream as she replaced her sunglasses over her eyes and held out a hand to the boy. "So, do we have a deal?"
"…One thing" Five retorted, as he moved to adjust the situation around him.
Sheathing the pistol back into his back pocket, he moved first to Cha-Cha & Hazel and disarmed each of his (former) colleagues that they had already lost their grips on. Tossing them aside, he then moved onto the vehicles and nudged the bullets out of their original trajectory towards his family. Five hoped that in doing so, when time returned to its normal pace, his family would remained relatively unharmed and give them enough time to escape. He could only hope that falling for the Handler's spell (again)—for taking a deal with the Devil—would finally pay off this time. He hoped that if he went back again (even though a part of him was screaming at himself for being an idiot to even consider it), that this would be the second chance he had been hoping for.
"Ah, there we go" Five murmured to himself, happy that he at least had given his family a better chance than they would of had, had he not.
"So?" The Handler quirked a brow, hand still extended to him.
I better not regret this. He placed his hand in hers and then they were gone.
WHOOSH!
Time resumed as soon as the Handler and Five had left, only things were slightly different than before. Miraculously, the hail of bullets went wide and the ice cream truck finally stopped when it rammed into the back of the ford with the immense force. The time travelling assassins in question were tossed aside; shoved back across the road alongside various chilled delights and serenaded by the manic cackles of Number Four.
"Five?" Luther blinked, turning on his heel to try and find his brother only to realise that he had mysteriously disappeared. Again. "Five? Five! FIVE!"
"HEY—!" Cha-Cha cried as she scrambled to her feet and tried to haul Hazel to his, before they made to charge at Luther who had picked up the fake briefcase once more.
"Wha—? Crap" When his gaze landed on the assassins coming towards him, he raised the briefcase in the air as if he was offering a dog a ball. Spinning on his heel, he hurled the briefcase as far across the neighbouring field next to him.
Having gotten rid of the desired item in question, Luther then ran forward to scoop up Theodore off of his feet as the three fled from the ice cream truck now that it was clear that things had gone tits up. At the same time, Klaus hauled ass from the truck with a popsicle stick hanging from his lips and quickly moved to heft Diego (who had dislocated his shoulder upon impact) back towards the royce.
"What the hell are you guys doing here?!" Luther demanded as they pushed and shoved each other into the car. Theodore was shoved into the backseat with enough force that his legs ended up going up over his head as he flopped into the seat, upside down. Klaus (and Ben) followed with a with a fair bit more grace and panache as he pulled the door shut behind him with a flick of his wrist. Diego was shoved into the passenger's seat where he clutched onto his shoulder, moaning in pain as Luther quickly circled back around to the driver's side and dove inside.
Cursing under his breath as his head banged up against the roof of the car in the attempt to stuff himself inside, Luther hit the gas before the door had shut or his other leg had even left the ground. He knew than he had to be fast and get them out of there, not only so Diego could get medical attention, but because he didn't particularly want to hang around there when the time travelling assassins realised that they had, in fact, been set up and that it was a fake briefcase.
In the meantime, Hazel and Cha-Cha had split up; one dove for the fallen guns and the other went for the tossed briefcase. For all of their gullibility, they were not stupid people and so it only took them a moment to realise that the clips were empty and that the briefcase was fake. Upon realising that they had been set up, Hazel & Cha-Cha turned in defeat to see the royce screeching back up the road. The last thing they saw were a pair of legs tossed up in the air and the necromancer (whom they had interrogated/tortured only days before and wrought them so much trouble) flipping them the bird.
"SHIT!"