She wasn't entirely sure when the pleasant dream she'd just had bled into reality, but she did know that the first voice she heard, was the voice of the woman who had been with her in her dream too.
"The operation went well," Emma's voice told her. It was exactly as soft as it had been in her dreams. "You'll be able to talk again in three weeks. How amazing is that?"
Regina wondered exactly what that meant. Right now, she couldn't really focus on anything except for Emma's soothing voice. She couldn't really open her eyes either. Her eyelids felt heavy. As did the rest of her.
"I really hope you'll wake up soon," Emma's voice said, and Regina thought that she could hear some urgency in it. "I miss you. Which is ridiculous, I know. I just saw you two hours ago, but I still miss you anyway. And so does Henry. And Zelena. I really think you should wake up now, beautiful. Doctor Auburn just told me that the anesthesia has been eased. You're cheating. You're just taking the opportunity to have an extra nap."
Anesthesia? Regina searched her scattered mind. Oh, right. She had been operated. Her throat. Now she remembered. The mask that had been put over her nose and mouth. The doctor with the soft voice counting. How her body had become all heavy. She had drifted off to a very comfortable sleep.
"See? I have you figured out."
Regina felt her hand being lifted. She silently wondered how on earth Emma was able to lift her hand when it was this heavy. The next second, she stopped wondering when she felt her palm being kissed gently. That felt nice.
"I've already waited two hours, babe," Emma said somewhere above her. Was she complaining? Or was she joking? Regina couldn't tell for sure right now. But she had a hunch that Emma was joking. Her Emma never complained about anything she had done. Unless the thing was not kissing her. But that was fair. Regina didn't like it when Emma stopped kissing her either. Kissing was great.
"It's not fair that you keep me waiting for longer than that." Her palm was kissed again. "I guess I'm pretty pathetic, huh? I can't even stand being apart from you for two hours. How dumb is that?" Now Regina felt her fingers being squeezed gently. That felt nice too. She wanted to open her eyes, but at the same time, she also wanted Emma to kiss her. Like she was Sleeping Beauty waiting for her True Love's Kiss.
No, wait, that was silly. Right? This was not a fairytale. This was Emma asking her to wake up. She didn't know that Regina already was awake and trying to get her eyelids to obey.
"But I guess that's what it means to be crazily in love with someone. With you," Emma gave a soft chuckle and squeezed her hand gently once more. "Do you know that I'm planning on asking you to move in with me when you wake up? That's the thing I said I wanted to ask you after your surgery. I want us to live together. All three of us. You, me and the kid."
Oh, goodness! Regina's heart fluttered in her chest. This was real. Definitely. She wasn't still asleep. And Emma had just confessed to wanting them to live together! Her, Emma and Henry! In Emma's house in Steveston! A million butterflies flapped about in Regina's belly, and her hand twitched involuntarily.
"Babe?"
Finally, finally, Regina was able to open her eyes. Her eyes immediately started watering, and everything was much too bright for her liking. She frowned. It kind of hurt, actually. But her head didn't. It just felt like it weighted a thousand pounds as she slowly turned it so she could look at Emma.
"Hi," Emma said, voice all light and happy. "Oh my god, hi! You're awake!"
Regina nodded a little and did her best to focus on Emma's pretty face. Had it really only been two hours since they last saw each other? It felt like a lifetime. And at the same time, like no time at all had passed. Strange.
"How are you feeling?" Emma asked softly. "Are you in much pain?"
Pain? No? Definitely not. Regina shook her head and tried to smile. The floaty, light feeling in her head and body made her feel good.
"Can you even feel anything?"
Regina shook her head and smiled brightly at Emma. Nope, she felt quite weightless. Very comfortable. She hadn't quite experienced anything like this before. This was nothing at all like the last time she came out of anesthesia. Thank god.
"Woah," Emma chuckled (to her? At her? Regina couldn't tell). "Are you completely high on anesthesia?"
Why yes, that was entirely possible. Regina nodded and bared her teeth in another grin.
Emma laughed at her. In a very sweet manner. She had laughed a lot in Regina's dream too. What a lovely sound that was.
"You look good post-op, babe," Emma said with another soft chuckle. "I'm particularly crazy about how your hair looks right now."
Aww, that was sweet of her to say. Regina smiled at her. Her sweet, considerate Emma. Always ready with a compliment. That was one of the things Regina so loved about her. Emma's ability to always say the sweetest things.
"Your operation went well."
Oh? Regina tilted her head. Right, the operation. Why did she keep forgetting that she had been operated?
"Yeah," Emma confirmed with a little smile. "Obviously, you have to heal and rest now, but the operation went well, and- oh, shit!" she interrupted herself mid-sentence and stood from the chair she had been sitting in. She reached for something above Regina.
Regina turned her head slightly and saw that it was a red button above her bed. She knew what that button meant. Doctors. Not right now. She lifted a weak, trembling hand and reached for Emma. And failed.
"Woah, woah, woah." It sounded very much like Emma was admonishing- or trying to admonish her as she sat back down and took her hand once more. "You are supposed to relax, Mills."
That was a very silly thing to say, was it not? Regina flashed Emma another smile. Couldn't she see that she already was relaxing? She doubted that anyone could be more relaxed than she was right now.
Emma smiled back at her. An easy smile. And yet… Regina was sure she could see the tiniest hint of something in Emma's eyes. What was that? Concern? No, it couldn't possibly be that. It had to be something else. But right now, Regina's mind was too scattered for her to investigate further. It would have to wait. She couldn't seem to focus. There was something tickling in her nose. What was that? Oh. A tube. It probably was a tube of some kind. Regina wondered if the world would shatter if she pulled it out. It was really irritating her.
The door to her hospital room was opened, and in came a woman. White doctor coat. Hair in a bun. Doctor Auburn. Yes, Regina remembered her.
She came over to Regina's bed and flashed her a smile. "Hi, Regina. How are you feeling?"
Wonderful, thank you. Regina flashed the good doctor a big smile.
"Anesthesia still working, I see," Doctor Auburn patted her free hand lightly. "But I'm happy to tell you that the operation went well and that everything looks fine. We inserted the implants, and now they'll need time to settle. It'll be six weeks. But once the swelling has gone down, you will be able to use your voice. Speak. You're going to talk again, Regina."
Regina tried to stay focused while the doctor gave her details about the operation, but honestly, she didn't understand much of it right now. Just that it had gone well and that she would be able to talk again. In six weeks. That was all the information she needed right now.
"I'll come back and explain things to you again when you're a bit more awake, alright?" Doctor Auburn concluded her little speech.
What an excellent idea. Regina nodded.
And now I think it would be best if you get some sleep," the doctor continued.
That Regina did not agree to. She had just woken up, for god's sake. And she wasn't done spending time with her girlfriend. She lifted her hands and did her best to sign. But her hands were trembling, and so the articulate answer she had planned, ended up being: 'Emma stays'. Good god.
Luckily, though, Doctor Auburn somehow understood her nonsense. "Five minutes," said strictly to Emma. "Regina needs her rest."
"Okay," Emma said almost timidly. She clearly had a lot of respect for the doctor.
So did Regina. Except when the doctor told her what to do and when to rest. She didn't like that very much.
"I'll check in on you later." Doctor Auburn rose from the chair. She gave Regina's shoulder a light pat and then she disappeared out of the door.
Emma took her hand again. "How are you feeling?"
Regina lifted her free hand and pointed to Emma's phone. It was sticking out of her pocket, and right now, Regina needed the device. She couldn't rely on using her hands to answer. Not when she was 'slurring' this badly.
"Are you sure you can text right now?"
Was Emma teasing her? It sure sounded like it. Regina scowled at her. Of course she could text. It was very prepositus of Emma to indicate that she could not.
"Okay then," Emma relented and let go of her hand. She whipped her phone out of her pocket and tapped on the screen for a few moments. Then she gave the device to Regina.
Regina began typing. Her fingers trembled a bit, but not too badly. As long as she typed slowly, she would be fine. 'I feel like I felt when I was seventeen and just smoked a joint with Mal', she typed and knew that she had hit the head on the nail. She remembered smoking that joint as if it had been yesterday. She had felt very floaty. In very high spirits. A bit giggly. Silly. She was pretty sure that Mal had laughed at her. Like Emma was laughing at her right now. Regina turned the screen towards Emma so she could read the message.
"You've smoked a joint?!" Emma sounded completely disbelieving, and she was also gaping slightly at her.
Regina confirmed that by nodding. And grinning a bit to herself. Emma clearly had not expected that from Professor Mills. It was nice to know that she could still shock Emma a little bit. But it was a long time since Regina smoked that joint. It had only happened that one time. The details of how she and Mal had come to smoke that afternoon, had honestly escaped Regina, but she had a vague idea that it had in fact been her own idea. She was so adventurous when she was younger. Those were the days.
"You are just full of surprises, aren't you?"
Mmm, she supposed that she was. She had a few tricks up her sleeve still. Regina blinked a bit as she looked at Emma. Or tried to. Emma's face seemed to blur all the times. Stupid eyes. What was wrong with them? Why didn't they work properly? Regina had no answers. But for whatever reason, she wasn't particularly worried about it either. Everything was funny right now. Including her lack of ability to focus on Emma's pretty, pretty face.
The door to her hospital room was opened again, and Regina was prepared to get annoyed because she assumed it was Doctor Auburn who had come to kick Emma out of the room and talk about rest and all that nonsense.
But it was not Doctor Auburn. It was Henry and Zelena.
"Mom!" Henry cried as he ran over to her bedside.
Regina tried to lift her arm so she could give her son a hug, but she didn't really succeed. Just like her eyes, her limbs weren't exactly working with her right now. It was up to Henry to hug her instead. Which he did. And he also gave her a kiss on the cheek. Regina felt like the luckiest woman alive. After all the anxiety she had felt earlier, it sure was good to feel her son near her.
"Baby sis," Zelena said warmly as she too came to Regina's bedside. She took her hand and gave it a soft squeeze. "How are you feeling?"
Deciding not to try the whole signing thing again, Regina simply gave a slightly trembling thumbs up to indicate that she was alright.
"She's high on anesthesia," Emma grinningly revealed, completely selling Regina out. "Isn't that right, beautiful?"
Regina didn't mind being sold out at all. She smiled happily. Definitely high on anesthesia. Quite odd, really. Not being able to feel her body completely. But also rather nice. It was like she was inside some kind of bubble. Just floating away with her family gathered around her. Not bad at all.
"Interesting," Zelena chuckled. "If I didn't know any better, I would say that you've had too much champagne, sis. Reminds me a bit of your thirtieth birthday."
Oh yes. Regina gave an amused little nod. She remembered her thirtieth birthday. That had been a good day. Plenty of champagne. Wonderful. But somehow, this was even better than champagne. She wondered what on earth was in that anesthesia. It had to be some very strong stuff. Either way, Regina certainly wasn't complaining about it. She was having the time of her life right now.
"Well, at least you're not in pain," Zelena continued. "Did doctor Auburn come and see you?"
She gave a nod and noted that her head was starting to feel a bit heavy instead of floaty. She was getting sleepy. Damnit. They were having such a nice time.
"I think she'll give a second explanation once Regina is... not high," Emma chimed in and gave Regina's hand another little squeeze.
"Excellent idea." Zelena's face was floating above Regina's. It looked sort of strange, Regina thought. But perhaps it wasn't. Perhaps the… strangeness was all in her head. That was very possible. Everything was blurring more and more. Damn. She really was running out of steam. Which wasn't fair at all! She wasn't done spending time with her family!
But apparently, her body felt otherwise. Quite literally quitting on her as it grew heavier and heavier.
Zelena patted her hand again. "And now I think it's best we let you get some rest, sis."
"But…" Henry piped up. He was still standing next to her, and Regina could hear the regret in his voice. He hadn't been done spending time with her either. Gosh, Regina wished that she could stay awake for him. But her eyelids… they were closing. Damnit!
"Just for a few hours, Hen," Zelena said patiently and smiled soothingly at Henry. "We'll head back to the hotel and have some lunch and then we'll come back, okay?"
"Okayyyy." Henry didn't sound like he found it to be particularly okay, but he nonetheless dipped his head and pressed another kiss to her cheek. "I love you, mom."
The fog in Regina's mind seemed to lift for a moment as she heard Henry say that. She smiled at her precious boy. Willed herself to focus on his face, and when she finally did, her maternal instinct immediately picked up on something. Henry was smiling, but… Didn't his eyes look a bit red-rimmed? And weren't his cheeks a bit blotchy? Almost like had been crying. But that couldn't be right. Why would Henry have cried? He had been with Emma and Zelena the whole time, and surely, they would have done everything in their power to comfort Henry if he was upset, right?
It had to be a trick of the light. Or her blurry vision playing tricks on her. Henry couldn't possibly have cried while she was in surgery. Emma would have said so. Zelena would have said so. Regina was just being silly.
"And I love you too."
Regina was brought out of her musings when Emma lowered her head to kiss her cheek. As fast as lightening, Regina turned her head, so the kiss landed on her lips instead. That was where Emma should kiss her when they parted ways. Always.
"Very sneaky, Mills." Much to Regina's delight, Emma kissed her lips a second time. In a way that had Regina forgetting that she was newly operated. And wishing that she too could have gone back to the hotel to have lunch. What was the chances that they would discharge her right now?
Zero. Absolutely zero. Unfortunately.
And much too soon, Emma pulled away. Regina tried not to be too dissatisfied. She would be out of here soon enough.
"Sleep well," Zelena said as she squeezed Regina's hand once more. "We'll see you in a couple of hours, okay?"
Uh-huh. Regina nodded sleepily and allowed her head to sink back against the pillow. God, that pillow was so soft. It was very possible that she was going to need one of these at home. Or… not at home. At Emma's home. She had no problem with remembering what Emma had said earlier, and once again, it felt like her stomach was full of butterflies.
"Bye, mom!" said Henry, and Regina failed utterly at responding to it. Her eyelids were getting heavier and heavier.
She heard murmured 'goodnights' from her family. Then the sound of a door opening and closing. They were gone. Regina could surrender to sleep now. She wiggled slightly in the bed and dragged the covers tighter around her. Frowned slightly when the movement pulled at something sitting across her throat. It had to be a bandage. She did not investigate it. Was too busy getting irritated when she accidentally lied on something hard. She scrabbled to find out what the something hard was, and when she realized that it was in fact a phone, she cracked one eye open. Lifted the phone up so she could see it properly. It wasn't her phone. It was Emma's. She was going to need it. For a second, Regina considered to send a text to Zelena from Emma's phone to alert her sister that Emma had forgotten her phone in here, but once again she was distracted. This time by what she had overheard Emma say earlier. That she was going to ask Regina and Henry to move in with her. Regina did not know exactly when Emma was planning on asking her. It could be in weeks from now. Regina couldn't wait that long. Absolutely not.
She opened a new message on Emma's phone and typed: 'I'd like to live with you. Very much.' Then she put the phone down and closed her eyes. There. Now she had revealed that she had overheard Emma. And hopefully, this would motivate Emma not to wait. Because Regina was ready. She was ready to move out of her sister's house. She was ready to live with Emma in her house by the woods in Steveston. She was ready for the three of them to be a proper little family. Living with Emma was what she had dreamed of for a long time now. She just hadn't been in any position to suggest that they moved in together. But now Emma had confessed to wanting the exact same thing. For them to live together and be a family. Regina couldn't wait. She couldn't wait to have breakfast with Emma every morning. Dinner together every evening. Nights in front of the television. Nights cuddled together in Emma's bed. Regina strongly considered to discharge herself, but she was simply too tired…
"You heard me ramble. You brilliant, clever-"
What was that? Regina shifted slightly, unsure of whether she was asleep or awake. She was sure that someone was talking, but her eyelids were far too heavy. Perhaps she was still asleep. Dreaming. Of an angel talking to her.
"We'll talk more about this when you wake up. Sleep well, my love."
That angel had a very familiar voice, Regina thought to herself. She was sure she heard the door being opened and then closed, but investigating it further was out of the question.
One thing was for sure, though. The scent of vanilla was hanging in the room.
Regina smiled to herself. She was pretty sure that the 'angel' in her dream had in fact been Emma saying something to her. And although she couldn't quite make sense of it, hearing Emma's voice as the last thing before falling asleep, was a very nice thing indeed…
Regina was not having a good time when she woke up again. Her throat hurt. Hurt, hurt, hurt. Ugh, how miserable she felt as she lifted a still weak, but no longer trembling hand and pressed the button above her bed. She needed a doctor. She needed painkillers. Immediately. It felt like someone was pressing a burning hot metal rod down her throat. She remembered this from the last time. Oh, how she remembered it!
The door to her room was opened and an elderly nurse stepped in. "Hello, Regina," she said kindly. "Have you gotten some rest?"
Regina nodded and pointed to her throat.
The nurse flashed her a sympathetic smile. "I know it hurts right now, dear. As soon as the last bit of anesthesia has left your system, you will be given some medicine, I promise. But for right now, I'm afraid I cannot give you any medicine."
Regina swallowed thickly and blinked back tears. She didn't want to cry in front of the nurse. No matter how much it hurt.
"It won't be long," the nurse promised her, took the hand that didn't have a catheter in it, and patted it. "Only about a half an hour or so. You took a good long nap, Regina."
Well. At least that was something.
"Do you mind if I just check your blood pressure, dear?" the nurse asked.
Regina shook her head and held out her arm. Might as well do something to kill the time until she could get her medicine.
"Thank you. We must look after you and take good care of you." The nurse smiled as she wrapped the blood pressure cuff around Regina's arm.
And despite the white hot pain radiating from her throat, Regina smiled at the nurse. She reminded her of a delightful grandmother. All she needed was an apron and a plate of freshly baked buns.
"It's gonna go tight, alright?"
Regina nodded again and closed her eyes as the nurse inflated the cuff and it started to go tight around her arm. After a moment, the pressure released.
"Very good," the nurse praised as though Regina had accomplished something. "Your blood pressure is very good. Not too high, not too low. You are a first class patient, Regina."
Regina knew that the nurse was talking nonsense to cheer her up because she was in pain, but still, it was sort of nice to hear. It did cheer her up.
"Would you mind if I just listened to your heart, dear?"
Regina shook her head again and allowed the nurse to do her job. Which included the cold metal bell of the stethoscope against her chest. She wondered how that nice, cold metal would feel against her overheated throat. It would probably be a good feeling. But most likely only for a moment. The only relief was the medicine. Which she couldn't have right now. Unfortunately.
"That sounds very nice and healthy too," the nurse told her. "Some patients tends to get a slower heartbeat after anesthesia, but that is not the case with you, Regina. You are off to a glittering recovery."
Had she been able to, Regina would have chuckled. A glittering recovery. She hadn't heard that one before. She would like that. A glittering recovery. If only her throat would stop hurting so badly.
"Excellent." The cold bell was moved from her chest. "Is there anything I can do for you, Regina? Do you need to use the bathroom or anything?"
Regina shook her head.
"Are you hungry or thirsty?"
A little thirsty perhaps, but definitely not hungry. Her stomach actually twisted a little at the idea of eating anything.
It must have been visible on her face, because the nurse said: "we'll wait a little with the food, then. But it is very important that you start eating something soon, Regina. Eating is essential for your recovery."
Now Regina felt like she was a child being scolded, but she knew that nurse meant well and was only doing her job. So she nodded and flashed the nurse at smile.
"Would you like me to clean your plaster a little, dear?" the nurse offered. "I promise I won't do anything that can make your throat hurt."
Regina consented to that. If the nurse thought that her plaster needed cleaning, it probably did. She lied back on the bed and closed her eyes. Naturally, she felt the nurse's fingers on her throat, but her touch was so gentle. Nothing she did, made Regina's throat hurt more than it already did.
"That's it. All nice and tidy. Shall I change the catheter in your hand too, dear? Prepare you for when you can get medicine?"
A thousand times yes! Regina nodded as much as she could without making her throat hurt.
"Very well. This will probably hurt a little bit. You will feel when the needle go in, alright? But I promise, I'll be as quick as I possibly can."
Regina trusted that.
First, her hand was dabbed in something that smelled badly and made Regina's stomach churn again.
"My apologies. The scent of the disinfectant cream is a bit crass.
She managed a weak smile at that. What a lovely nurse. What an excellent treatment she was receiving here. Doctor Auburn was kind and professional, and this nurse a complete sweetheart. Her name had escaped Regina right now, but she was sure she would remember it later on. When the last bit of fog had vaporized from her mind.
"And… here we go," the nurse said. "Here comes the needle. Would you like me to count or anything?"
Regina shook her head. That wasn't necessary at all.
"Very well. Deep breath in."
Regina took a deep breath just as the needle punctuated the skin on top of her hand. It wasn't overly painful, actually. Yes, it did hurt a little bit when the new needle was inserted into her hand, but it wasn't something she could not handle. The pain in her throat was far worse.
"And deep breath out."
Regina exhaled.
"Excellent. The catheter has been inserted. Good job, Regina."
So much praise. Would they offer her a lollypop when she left for having been such a brave girl?
"Are you sure that I cannot offer you something to eat? Some ice cream, perhaps?"
Please, no ice cream. Regina shook her head. Was definitely not in the mood to eat.
"Alright. Perhaps the doctor will be more successful later." The nurse smiled and winked at her. "I don't think it will be long before your family returns. I heard them say that it would be two hours, and you have been asleep for a while already. Are you excited to see them?"
Regina nodded eagerly. Definitely. She already missed them. Didn't like being alone in the hospital. As much as she didn't want it to, it reminded her of the last time she had been in the hospital. Alone and scared of everything. The beeping from the machines. The people walking by outside. Her own body.
"Are you alright, dear?" the nurse asked kindly. "You've gone a bit pale."
She couldn't exactly say anything. She had to settle for a smile.
The nurse sat down in the chair Emma had been sitting in earlier. She took Regina's free hand in her own. "I don't have any other patients to tend to right now. Would you like me to stay with you for a little while, dear?"
Yes! Absolutely. Regina nodded. And this time the movement did make her throat hurt. But she didn't care.
"Alright. That is not a problem at all, dear." The nurse smiled at her. "It must be a very overwhelming time for you. Lots of things happening now. And in the future. I heard that your operation was very successful."
As the nurse with the gentle voice spoke, Regina listened and only focused on that. It helped with some of her anxiety. She wondered how much this nurse knew. Had she seen her medical journal? Did she know of Regina's previous stay in the hospital. The nurse with the kind eyes smiled at her, and Regina started to suspect that she had met this nurse before. That this nurse had been one of the nurses who had taken care of her after the first operation. Her old and slightly dry hand was familiar to Regina. And now when she was thinking about it, so was her eyes, her smile and her voice.
'I remember you', Regina silently mouthed. 'You were here the last time too.'
"That's right," the nurse beamed. "I was wondering if you could remember me. I am very happy that you can, dear."
So was Regina. This nurse, which name she unfortunately still could not remember, had quite literally seen her at her worst. She had been one of the first one by her bedside after Regina had woken up from the sedative they had to give her before an examination. She had been so kind and gentle to her. And she had most definitely known the reason, the real reason for Regina's hospital stay. She had been there when Regina cried about the horror she had been through. She had spoken gently to her when Regina had been petrified with terror because she was sure that she had just seen Killian looking at her from the doorway.
"Many things have changed since the last time," the nurse said. "I ran into your partner earlier. What a lovely woman."
Regina nodded eagerly. Yes, yes, yes! And just now, she remembered the nurse's name. Joy. Her name was Joy. Of course it was. Joy with her gentle hands and soft smile. Regina had appreciated her then. And she definitely appreciated her now. Appreciated that she took the time to sit by her bedside and hold her hand for a moment. It made it easier to handle the pain in her throat.
"Congratulations on getting through this first hurdle, Regina," Joy smiled.
Yes. Regina returned the smile. That was exactly what she had done. She had overcome the first hurdle. She had every reason to be proud of herself. And hopeful about the future. Which hopefully would include a question from Emma. A question of moving in with her…