His Light in the Dark
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Chapter 4
The next few days went by slowly for Daryl. He met a few more members of their "group" as the woman - Carol - had called them. A man who introduced himself as Rick made an appearance. He had an air about him that screamed COP. But he was friendly, and Daryl found himself relaxing in his presence. Rick told him about the accident that had caused him to be in his current predicament. He had also apologized profusely, blaming himself for what had happened. Daryl waved the apology off.
"Weren' no'ons fault. Jus' a good thin' us Dixon's got such hard heads." Rick had laughed at his statement, but for the life of him, Daryl couldn't figure out why it was so funny to the man. He had asked about his crossbow, wondering what had happened to it. Rick assured him it was at Daryl's apartment, safe and sound.
He also met Michonne, Rick's wife. She seemed friendly enough, but Daryl had eyed the wicked lookin' katana on her back and realized this was a woman not to be messed with. He immediately felt at ease with her, liking her because she was on the quiet side, and didn't ask him a lot of questions that he couldn't answer.
A woman named Maggie came by, and Daryl remembered she was Beth's sister. She seemed to assess him, as if she was trying to figure out a puzzle that wouldn't go together. Her husband Glenn also popped in and Daryl could see the man was extremely nervous, though Daryl couldn't figure out why. He would start to say something, then slam his mouth shut again as if he wasn't allowed to say what was on his mind. Daryl thought the man was just a little bit strange.
He also met a man named Aaron and his husband Eric. Both men had been living at Alexandria before their "group" had shown up. He learned that Aaron and Eric had been the first in the community to really accept Daryl, since he had apparently been a bit standoffish in the early days. The only thing that bothered Daryl was that the pair kept looking between each other, having silent conversations with their eyes. It was unnerving to say the least.
One person he rarely saw during all this was Beth. She made a few scattered appearances, usually bringing him food. After he ate, she would give him some meds and then check his bandage before practically running out the door.
The doctor – Denise – had told him he was healing very nicely and would be allowed to return home the day after tomorrow. When he asked about his Amnesia, she told him she didn't have any answers. Daryl had no choice but to accept her answer and laid his head back down.
Now, as he stared at the same four walls that he had stared at all week long, Daryl realized he was extremely bored.
It was unfortunate that he couldn't see through those walls at that very moment, because he would have seen quite the heated discussion going on two houses over from where he was currently laying in his sick bed.
"Maggie, I already had this conversation with Rick an' Carol. I really don' wanna have it with ya as well," Beth told her older sister. Maggie stared at the younger woman, her arms crossed at her chest. Beth sat at the kitchen table in Maggie's house. The baby, Hershel was currently down for a nap.
"Beth! It ain't right fer ya to make that kinda choice for the man. He needs ta know what he's got with ya. Keepin' it from him ain't doin' him any favors," the older woman tried to reason with her. Beth shook her head.
"I'm doin' this for him! Ya think this is easy fer me? Seein' the man I love laying there in that bed and him not havin' a clue who I am! It's killin' me! That man is my entire world, and all he sees when he looks at me is a stranger. Maggie, ya don't know what its like – the total lack o' recognition in his eyes. He's not my Daryl any more…" she finished on a whisper.
Maggie groaned. "He is too your Daryl. He has been your Daryl since after that prison fell. Hell, probably even before that. He risked his life ta make sure ya were safe and protected. After that damn hospital, anyone with a set o' eyes could see that he worshiped ya. And now ya wanna throw all that away?"
"He doesn't remember any of that! And until he does, I think this is the best choice," Beth told her sister.
"What about the baby? It's gonna need a father. Ya gonna take that away from him too?" Maggie asked.
"I'm not taking anything away from him. He has absolutely no memory of the last six years. As far as he knows, the dead have just started walkin' and the world collapsin' is at its very beginin'. He hasn't lived the hardships that brought us here. He hasn't experienced any of it."
"Beth, I want ya think about this and think hard. What happens if Daryl never remembers? If his memory never comes back? If he never remembers ya? What then?" Maggie knew asking those questions would hurt Beth, but she needed to know the answer.
Beth exhaled sharply, her head dropping down. "Then I let go of the past and give him a chance to make his own future. Without me.."
Maggie's eyes widened. "And if he met someone else? What then? Would ya still keep everythin' from him? Could ya live with yerself if ya did?"
"If he met someone else, I'd wish him happiness and hope that he would enjoy it," Beth said, her voice low.
"So, ya would just be givin' up then, right? Not gonna fight fer yer man at all?" Maggie asked, her voice incredulous.
"Right now, it's not about what I want. It's about what he needs. And I'm not gonna make him fall back in love with me by pushing everythin' down his throat. I know Daryl. Better than anyone else. All that would do was push him away. Daryl would feel trapped. And that's the last thin' I wanna do ta him."
"So that's it, then? Yer just gonna keep that man in the dark, prayin' he finds the light all by himself? Yer gonna raise that baby all by yer lonesome, and hope that one day, he remembers everythin' and comes runnin' back ta ya?" Maggie shook her head at her sister.
"Maggie, I love ya. Yer ma big sister. But, this is my choice. My decision. Ya don't have ta like it. But, ya do need to respect it. Respect me," Beth told her, firm in her decision.
Maggie sighed. "Fine. I'll respect ya decision. Don't think it's the right one, but its yer life. I cain't tell ya how ta live it."
Beth nodded. "Thanks Mags. Now, Daryl is coming home in two days, and I need ta get everythin' out o' the apartment that's mine. Can ya and Glenn help me or not? Cause with or without ya, I'm movin' all my stuff out o' there. And I need to make sure I don't leave anythin' behind either."
"Yeah, we'll help ya. Ya can take the spare bedroom upstairs fer now," Maggie told her, shaking her head. Beth stood up and gave her sister a hug. "Thank you Mags."
"What happens if that baby's born, and he still don' 'member? What then?" Maggie asked, her arms still around the smaller woman.
Beth pulled back. "Then Hershey 'ill get a new roommate fer awhile."
Daryl was surprised that when Denise officially cleared him to go home, it was Beth who was the one to take him there. They walked in silence, Daryl getting his bearings after not moving a lot over the last few days and Beth thinking about the man at her side and how badly she wanted to wrap her arms around him.
They got to the apartment, and Beth quickly unlocked the door, stepping back so Daryl could enter first. He walked in and immediately was in the Kitchen area. He looked to his right and saw a couch, assuming that room was the living room. He looked around, taking it all in.
"So, this is the Kitchen. Obviously," Beth told him. She pointed to the right. "Living Room." She pointed down a short hallway he hadn't noticed yet. "Bathroom's down there. And upstairs there are two bedrooms… the master and a spare."
Daryl still looked around, a peculiar look on his face. He walked around the room, trying to see if anything sparked in his memory. Finally, he looked back at Beth.
"Is everythin' here that's 'spose ta be? There's nothin' missin' is there?" he asked, turning around and looking around the room. If he had been looking at Beth, he would have seen the flicker of hope that crossed her face at his words. She cleared her throat.
" O' 'course everythin' is here. Why do ya think it ain't? she asked, holding her breath.
"I dunno. Just got this feelin' like somethin's missin'. Somethin' important," he told her. Beth felt that flicker of hope flare and grow hotter. "I mean, that's crazy right? I can' remember what was here before, so how the hell would I know if somethin' was missin'?"
The flame inside her snuffed out and grew cold. Beth took a gasping breath, before resuming her "tour" with Daryl. "Sheets and such are in the hall closet, and all the utensils and such are here, here and here," she said, pulling out and opening various drawers.
Daryl gave her a funny look. "How do ya know where everythin' is in here? Act like ya live here or something?"
Beth froze. Stupid! Of course he would notice her familiarity with the apartment. She did live there after all. She scrambled to come up with a plausible answer. "Uh…I…I clean fer ya. Yeah. I come in couple times a week and clean up everythin' fer ya. Ya hate cleanin', so I volunteered to help ya out with it."
Daryl's eyes widened. "Wow…that's…real nice of ya. Doin' that I mean. Thank ya."
"It's no problem. I enjoy doin' it."
"Can I ask ya somethin'?" Daryl said suddenly. Beth nodded. "Where do ya live? Are ya close by?"
Beth swallowed hard. "Uh….I'm at Maggie and Glenn's place. It's right across the way. Only three houses down to the left of here. Why?"
"Jus' wonderin'," Daryl said, his voice low.
Beth stared at him. "Well, I'm sure ya wanna get some rest now that yer back home. I'm just gonna see myself out." She started backing toward the door.
"When will ya be back?" he asked suddenly. Beth froze again. "Ta do the cleanin'? When's the next day ya clean?"
Beth deflated. "Uh…I'll be back in a couple days. Give ya a chance ta get yer bearings."
He nodded. "Thank ya Beth. I know I was a real dick when I first woke up. Thank ya fer not givin' up on me, even though I yelled at ya and treated ya like shit."
"It wasn't that bad. I can handle yer temper, Daryl Dixon." With that said, she opened the door and walked out.
Daryl made his way up to the master bedroom. Entering it, he looked around the room. Again, the nagging sensation that something was missing niggled in the back of his head. He shook his head, thinking he was crazy. He laid down on the bed, his head resting on the pillow. The subtle smell of vanilla wafted up to his nose, and he buried his nose into the pillow, inhaling deeply. He recognized the scent because he had smelled it on Beth a couple different times. Why was her scent on the pillow?
Daryl took another deep inhale, collecting the scent in his head. She cleans yer place, ya moron. 'Course her scents gonna be on stuff.
Yeah…that's what it was…
