I noticed there are some guesses out there as to who my character is. I forgot to put characters in my story's summary so it's my fault but I've since corrected my mistake. I hope I don't lose any readers over it!

Thanks as always to Amyress who encourages me even when I hate myself.

And thanks to BJ Hanssen who manages to reel me in with my comma usage and excessively long paragraphs. I'm just glad that is now the worst of my issues. :D

And everyone who reviews, thank you so much for reading and telling me what you think! I enjoy every single one. :)

"Wha…" was all I could manage to breathe out. Samantha? How the FUCK does he know? I said nothing, how the-Wait.

Does he actually know?

His expression went from pleasant to disappointed, almost suspicious, "You don't like it." PHEW! He doesn't know! Ok, now cover, quick!

"I-no I do-I like it fine, I just…" realizing I was going into full-on panic, I took a slow breath to buy time to think. Got it. "One of my aliases was Samantha. It just took me off guard that you would pick that name." Flashing him what I called my 'killer smile' I realized that was probably the worst lie I have ever told but he let me have it…

It was obvious, however, he was not fooled.

His pleasant demeanor returned and he continued to look at me, "So are you good with it?"

I nodded, "Yeah, sure." Watching him type into his Omni-tool, I suddenly became infatuated with his hands.

Over all they were large, probably twice the size of mine but I had a size 5 ring finger so not a good comparison. His fingers were long and elegant, perfectly proportioned with his palm while his fingernails were cut short and perfectly clean. I had to admit, I was not a hand type of girl but his were downright sexy. I couldn't believe I didn't notice when we were out to dinner, him holding a wine glass and likely making said glass look good.

I wonder what they would look like holding my-

"Last name?" My eyes flew up to meet his, startled by his interruption of my slowly declining train of thought.

I bit my lower lip and lowered my eyes, embarrassed by what he didn't realize he'd caught me thinking but suddenly feeling a bit reckless. Why not?

"Know any good porn names?" I stared at him playfully, waiting for him to either sputter or play along. His eyes lowered to watch my lip as I gently tugged on it with my teeth then looked back up at mine.

His looked like they'd turned an electric-blue.

"Don't tease," he breathed out, his face getting just a hint closer. "I always come back."

That song by Hozier jumped into my head, the one that has the line 'Honey don't feed me, I will come back.'…

And it just fueled the fire slowly growing in my gut.

I stared at him, no, I glared at him, daring him to make a move. It was like a game of strip chess to the nth degree, all we were missing were clothes strewn all over the room and blood red lipstick smeared up one side of his neck.

WOW that is such an incredibly perfect mental image…

"Last name," he insisted, harshly almost as he released my hand. The edge in his tone along with his withdrawal startled me and my eyes went wide. Wait, what the hell just happened?

"Am I interrupting?" A hum-like voice came from the entrance to the med bay. We both turned to see Thane standing in the open doorway. Leaning on the frame, I could sense he was trying to seem casual as he looked me straight in the eye. "Dr. Chakwas asked me to look in on you while she was gone, how are you feeling?"

I smiled warmly at him and shook my head, "Please, it's fine, come in." Unsure as to where our conversation stood I looked back at John. His expression was closed off, emotionless, and I realized there was no getting through to him with Thane in the room. I should just give him an answer, but what to say? Eh, what the hell, he already has my first name. Maiden name or married name? Hmmm… "Last name can be… Reid." He nodded, typed it in and got up from the table.

"Alright, I'll set everything up and let you know," John's tone was clipped and professional as he marched out of the room, giving Thane a nod and a friendly grin as he left. I stared after him, my lips parted in surprise.

"I did interrupt," Thane sighed as he moved to stand across from me. "I apologize."

I put up a hand and shook my head, "No, it's fine, it was doomed from the start." Looking back down at the hand John held I shook my head again, but this time at myself. "Like a great many things in my life." I felt the Drell sit down beside me as I looked up at him.

"You mustn't allow a small defeat to dictate how you move forward," he murmured, "especially when it comes to personal relationships." He looked down at the 'offending' hand then back up at me. "You know better than most how quickly people can change."

I narrowed my eyes at him, searching his features for clues as to what he was thinking. "Do I?" I asked softly.

A hint of a smile crossed his lips, "You are a hunter, your instincts serve you well when confronted by strangers." He let the words hang between us, as if waiting for me to catch on to whatever hint he'd thrown my way. Then it hit me. Shit, he knows.

No sense hiding it now.

"You picked up on that, huh?" I smiled and looked away, off into a distance that did not exist. "Not that all of my ops were marks but…" Ugh, woman, stop sharing! I shook my head then immediately nodded. "I like hunter better than assassin. Was it that obvious?"

"To the trained eye, it was subtle but there," he admitted, "Others will not notice the nuances."

I smiled and looked back at him, "Like your stance when we met."

He nodded, "One assassin will always recognize another. No matter how hard they try to hide it, their body language will always give them away." He was pensive for a moment then took a breath. "You are in conflict, can I help?"

I chuckled, "Oh Thane, I am so far beyond help." I shook my head and looked back down at my hands. "Besides, you don't need to sit here and listen to my ridiculously trivial problems. There are far more important things going on in the galaxy."

"I disagree," he stated, the vibration in his monotone changing just slightly. I looked up at him curiously and his expression became guarded. "Forgive me. It has been a long time since I have felt a connection to anyone and with our similar pasts…" He stopped, thinking, then nodded. "When we last met you stated that you wanted to be 'friends'." He blinked, as if expecting me to respond. Realizing the situation wasn't easy for him I tried to lighten the mood, shooting him a playful glare.

"Throwing my own words back at me, huh Krios?" I asked, lowering my voice ever so slightly. My eyes rolled and I sighed. "Yes, I did say that and I meant it."

His sigh seemed to be one of relief. "Then tell me what is on your mind," he sat back slightly and rested an elbow on his knee in expectation.

I nodded and exhaled, "Alright, but it isn't pretty." One side of his lips tilted up.

"What true story is?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I've always found Polytheism far more romantic," I said as I reached for another piece of what the cook was calling 'french fries'. I knew damned well they weren't made from potatoes but they were good nonetheless. "And believable. Who would think that one deity could handle the responsibility of an entire race?"

"Agreed," Thane responded, sitting back in his chair at the rec room table across from me, "and not just because it's personal." A small smile crept across his face when the elevator door opened.

Garrus made his way over to us. "Nice to see you out of the med bay, Samantha," he smirked as he took the chair next to me.

I rolled my eyes, "Nice to be out of the med bay, Garrus. How's it going on the Citadel?"

The Turian nodded, "Good, lots of intel." Holding his smirk I saw his blue eyes twitch slightly, telling me there was more to the story. Thane must have spotted it too because he stood, stretching out his lean extremities.

"I should go, I've messages from some old contacts to go through." He walked around the table and stopped next to me. "We will continue our conversation later." Seeing the intensity in his eyes, I realized he caught on to my intentional deflection.

The conversation had quickly turned from John and I to my past. He didn't ask for specifics but the information just flowed from me, as if I was chatting with an old friend. I told him I had been married and that he'd passed, before I knew it we were knee-deep in a conversation about time travel and I realized I'd crossed the line so I started asking questions about him.

He admitted to having lost someone as well and how it drove him to do things he'd never thought he was capable of. We commiserated. My participation in the program that brought me to the Normandy being my own version of suicide, I never thought I was capable of anything like that.

Once he opened up other things were easy, going from that to his childhood (which was a conversation in itself) and then onto religion felt completely natural. And it passed the time, at one point I looked up and saw almost three hours had gone by.

Feigning innocence, I gave him my best wide-eyed look, "Whatever do you mean?" Then I gave him a wink and a smile. "I look forward to it." He nodded to me then to Garrus and left so I looked back at the new arrival. "Want a drink?"

He smiled and nodded. "Thought you'd never ask."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So this 'Fade' is going to just tell us where he stashed Sidonis?" I asked with a heavy dose of skepticism. "Mercs like that don't make money if their charges are found."

Sitting next to me at the bar in my room, Garrus gave me a calculating grin, "Maybe not, but I'll enjoy getting it out of him."

A small knot started forming in my gut. The memory of what it was like to feel that kind of anger, that kind of betrayal, crept into the back of my mind. Rolling it around in my head, I was second-guessing offering him my assistance but he was my friend. I couldn't leave him to handle the situation alone.

Look what almost happened when you went after yours alone.

I sighed, wanting to be sure I chose my words carefully. Looking into his eyes I could feel his pain; without laying a finger on him, Sidonis' treason had shoved a dagger into the deepest part of Garrus' soul. I shook my head to clear it, spinning around on the stool to let my eyes drift to the window full of stars.

I can't let him go unprepared.

"One of my first semi-independent ops was a hostage extraction, five people," I said as I stood, drawn to the window. Standing next to it, I crossed my arms with a sigh. "I had to get them out and to a safe house until a plan was formulated to get them out of the country. With part 1 I succeeded, got them all out unharmed and to the safe house without a hitch. Only had to kill maybe 8 of the rebel group's men along the way.

"Not being familiar with the language or customs, my handler got a local to help, a guy named Sayid. He'd been used in the past, his job was to deter visitors to the safe house and run errands. He mostly shopped for supplies and listened, reporting back any interesting gossip or news. Keeping to himself, he spoke to his sister on the phone and played solitaire while I tended to the hostages. He would go home at night to avoid suspicion, his sister lived with him so it kept up appearances.

"Then one day he called my handler, said he didn't feel well and couldn't come by. My handler got in touch with me and my first thought was to move my charges. It was a change in routine and therefore a threat. He refused, said he wasn't worried and I was just being my 'usual paranoid self'. Besides, moving them would expose them and he wasn't willing to take the chance.

"Low on food, I wrapped up my head in a scarf and decided to go to the closest market. One of the younger girls, Erica, had offered to go since she spoke the language but it was too risky, ya know? If for some reason someone removed the scarf she was sure to be recognized, their faces being all over the news, and I wasn't willing to take the chance. Nice kid…"

I swallowed and took a breath, trying to steady myself but my voice still came out a whisper, "I was gone maybe an hour…" My voice left me. Even after all the time that had passed I had to swallow my heart back down as the scene played out in my mind.

Undisclosed location, Middle East, 2019

The door had been kicked in and the lock shot off so I slowly set down the bags and pushed it open with one hand as I pulled out my Px4 with the other, quietly chambering a shot and maneuvering into the main room. Gun at the ready, my eyes and ears scanned as I continued, seeking out any movement as I made my way deeper into the house. Nothing, not a sound nor a soul crossed my path. I took a slow breath to hold my focus and rounded the corner leading to the hall where the bedrooms were.

The first smear of blood was on the wall about waist height, telling me the person was short since there was no body yet to be seen. A brief image of Erica's face popped into my head but I brushed it aside as I pushed further down the hall. More blood, same height, was visible on the opposite wall with others of varying heights.

The first few doors were open so I checked each room, ensuring it was clear before moving on. Approaching the fifth and final room, the door was shut so I scanned the area, spotting what I had desperately hoped not to find.

A deep red liquid stained the carpet in a pattern that suggested it had flowed outward from under the closed door. Fuck, I thought as I leaned over and put an ear up to it. No movement, not a sound so I backed up flush against it and slammed backward hard with the heel of my right foot. It flew open, smacking into the wall as I shoved my gun into the room, ready to shoot any intruder inside.

What I saw would be burned into my memory for all time.

The bodies were piled in the middle of the room, all on top of one another, as if stacking up wood for a bonfire. The blood that had seeped under the door had come from the corner behind it. I could only guess they had killed the hostages there before tossing them aside. Questioning them, perhaps? The agent in me tried to speak up but the human in me dragged my eyes back to the mound of bodies, innocents who had probably been questioned, tortured, then killed in the 60 minutes I had been gone. The 60 minutes I had left them vulnerable...

I abandoned them.

I shook my head, pulled out my burner phone and called my handler. He cursed under his breath and there was a long pause before he kicked into agent mode, asking me all the pertinent questions. Finally stating he was sending a team, he ordered me to wait for them.

When I hung up I tried to identify the bodies. Quickly I realized I couldn't recognize all of them. Choking a little on the smell as well as the sight, I decided to count them instead. I found six in all and, unable to stand it anymore, I left before the team arrived.

Wrapped up in the scarf, it was easy for me to get out of the city and on the road. I immediately ditched the burner phone and obtained a new one a few days later before getting a hotel room and finally deciding to get some rest.

I had managed to get about 120 miles away from the scene but couldn't get it out of my head. Showered and clad in the hotel's complimentary bathrobe, I sat on the bed and stared at the burner, debating whether or not to call in.

If you make the call, you know they'll just put you on some other stupid-ass, bullshit assignment to try to get your mind off this one. Or they'll put you on leave again. I shook my head, deciding against it for the moment. Ok, then what now?

Erica's face popped into my head, bringing back the overwhelming guilt and the memory of corpses piled up in the middle of a blood-soaked room. Anger pooled in my stomach and I grit my teeth, a growl from deep in my chest clawing at my throat to be released.

What the fuck happened?!

I ran through the events of the day and Sayid not showing up leapt to the forefront of my mind. Clenching my fists, I deduced he was the traitor and anger took over while reason tried to stay focused. He did this, he told them where they were. He told them I'd have to leave. They must have been watching the house, just waiting for their opportunity…

But wait, I was the one who left.

As the anger slowly abated a profound sense of guilt settled in, a guilt so intense tears welled in my eyes. I clutched at my gut. It was my fault. As that sunk in I cried harder, allowing my body to slowly fall sideways onto the bed. I lay there sobbing, taking all the blame on myself. I should have stayed, I should have listened to my gut and fucking moved them! Those people would probably be alive right now if I had just listened to my instincts…

I had no idea how long I lay there, the comforter soaked through with my tears. My insides felt like they were revolting, my stomach having relieved itself of its contents at some point on the floor. What the hell am I doing? Why did they choose me for this? My training…

Wait. My training.

Pulling up the memories of some of the lessons on resisting torture, I dug deep down and, finding the pain, I pushed it aside. That done I took a few slow, deep breaths to focus.

Suddenly the guilt subsided, giving way to a numbness I had not felt before. Relieved, I wiped the tears from my face and pulled myself upright, grabbing a tissue to wipe my nose. I rose up off the bed and wandered into the bathroom, splashing some cold water on my face and looking in the mirror. My eyes and face were red, but appeared calm. Scanning the rest of my body, I noticed all of the pain in my stomach had left as well.

Not only was the pain gone but I was able to think clearly, so I took advantage, trying to put everything into perspective. Logic would dictate that my instincts said to move because of Sayid, I thought, he is the traitor and therefore the only one to blame for this.

A strange kind of lucidity came over me, one that was calculating and potentially brutal. One that would help me get justice for those innocent people and vengeance for my tortured soul.

One thought repeated over and over again in my mind... the one thought that truly mattered. With everything else that was going on in the world, in my mind the deaths of those people was the one thing that I could do something about. So it would be my focus, my mission, to see them get the recompense they deserved. I smiled wickedly as I formulated my new objective.

Find Sayid.