Hello Everyone!
Yes, I am back and ready to get this stuff done.
Thanks to my buddy Seabo for his patient encouragement.
And please, review!
Sam
I felt a pop in my left shoulder as I attempted to break the hold Thane had on my arms behind my back, "Uh oh…"
He instantly released me, cradling the affected arm, "Siha, why did you not tell me I was hurting you?"
I gently removed the appendage from his hands and shook my head, "Because I'm not a freakin' whiner." I looked it over, trying to turn it slowly but receiving a stabbing pain for my trouble. "Shit. Doc is gonna kill me."
I heard a hum of agreement from Thane, "This is the third serious injury since you've been back, but I fear she may kill me instead of you."
Huffing a laugh out through my nose, I shook my head as I carefully made my way to my feet, with Thane's assistance, "Hell hath no fury." Securing my injured arm across my stomach, I waved Thane off as we made our way to the elevator.
The moment we stepped into the med bay her gasp shot across the room, "Samantha, now what did you do?"
Shrugging my good shoulder, I smiled sheepishly, "Nothing?" Her stern glare was the response I got, so I looked down at the useless limb. "I think I dislocated it. Not a huge deal, just need help popping it back in."
I didn't look up at her scoff, but saw her feet approach me as I felt her take hold of my wrist in one hand and my useless shoulder in the other. Her small fingers prodded the joint, hitting a few sensitive areas, but when they found I was correct I heard her sigh.
When she released my arm, she approached one of the metal tables and gave it a pat, "Lie down on your stomach and let your arm hang over the side."
Having done this before, I did as I was told and rolled myself onto the cool, flat surface, gingerly allowing my affected limb to stay vertical as I did so. It was painful, but a few minutes after I was settled, I felt the ball settle back into the joint with a resounding pop. Shortly thereafter, the joint began to ache all over so I slowly sat up and started rubbing the quickly warming area.
Dr. Chakwas appeared at my side with a cold pack, "Here, leave this on for about twenty minutes. Once the swelling goes down, I'll scan it to see if any ligaments or tendons need mending." Pressing it onto my shoulder, she then walked over to sit at her station and began typing.
Thane approached me, "I will see you later, I have some messages to look over." I gave him a small smile, so he nodded and walked out the door. Oddly enough, the door stayed open a moment longer than it should have, so I stared at it curiously…
Until John walked in, frowning at me, and in my embarrassment my eyes shot to the floor. Shit.
Not raising my eyes, I lifted my right hand to wave at him, "Hi!"
He kept walking until he was standing right in front of me, his tone telling me his face had probably softened slightly, "Again?"
"Good luck Shepard!" I heard Doc griping from across the room. "She won't listen to me, maybe she'll listen to you."
I chuckled, shaking my head, "Oh Mom." Looking up at John, I was ready to get defensive, to point out that I needed to train and injuries are part of the deal when someone was down as long as I had been. Seeing the concern in his eyes, I quickly trashed that plan, letting out a relenting sigh and shaking my head. "It's not like I try to get injured."
John reached over to caress my jaw with his thumb, "You just need to be more careful, or Dr. Chakwas won't patch you up anymore." He smiled softly, warming my heart. Cupping my cheek, he pulled me toward him and pressed his lips to my forehead. Breaking the connection, he rested his head in place of his lips. "I need to talk to you, so when you're done here meet me in our quarters?"
Need to talk? Our quarters, omg, guilt trip here I come.
Not sure how big of a deal to make out of his use of the word 'our', I swallowed my emotions and nodded as he pulled away, "Yeah, I should be outta here shortly."
As I watched him nod and walk out, I realized that his visit and Karen's complaints are only natural. They watched me go through something that threatened to take me away from them, just because I survived doesn't mean that's the end of it. Of course they were going to be protective and worry like hell about me, probably for a long time to come. Wow Sam, you're still such an asshole.
Doc came over a few minutes later with a scanner in hand, holding it up to my shoulder as she slowly removed the cold pack, "Ok, let's see if you did any other damage."
"Karen?" I practically whispered, which grabbed the doctor's attention immediately, her eyes snapping up to meet mine. She's apparently not used to my being anything but bitchy. Internally kicking myself, I swallowed and took a breath, "I'm sorry."
Her eyes instantly softened, "Sam, I worry about you."
I smiled warmly, loving that this woman reminded me so much of my own mother, "I know. But please understand I am trying to toughen myself up so that I am one hundred percent again. I can't go out there with John and not be able to handle some pain." Pulling my lips in and around my teeth, I gave her sympathetic eyes. "I get why it's tough for you to see me like this all the time, but it's part of the process. I promise you it's temporary and shouldn't be much longer."
I could see the wheels turning behind her eyes until she finally nodded, "Ok, but I need you to promise me something."
I grinned, "Anything."
She shook her head, genuine concern taking over her face as she gestured to the upper deck of the ship, "Keep in mind every time you do this, I am not the only one who gets worried.
"And he has enough on his plate."
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Stepping off the elevator, I stood face to face with the entrance to John's quarters.
Wait, our quarters, hearing him say that was just... odd. I shook my head to clear it and waved to open the door.
When I walked in, John was sitting on the end of the couch that ran along the outer hull of the ship, drink in hand. He stared straight ahead, not even acknowledging my entrance, he was so deep in thought. I took a breath and made my way down the few stairs to the sleeping area.
When I came into view he was so startled the ice shook audibly in his glass, "Hey, I didn't even hear you come in." He quickly stood, walking over to the mini bar and grabbing a bottle of bourbon to gesture toward me. "You want one?"
I smiled weakly and nodded, "Please, I have a feeling I'm going to need it." Walking over to sit in the corner where the two couches met, I curled a leg underneath me and grabbed a pillow for my immobilized arm to rest on.
John noticed the sling and smiled, "Dr. Chakwas is as pushy as ever, I see."
I nodded, "It was either this or she wouldn't repair the muscle around the joint. So sling for one week or letting things heal naturally for six. I'll take the week." As he approached, he handed me my glass then sat down next to me. I took a greedy sip and sighed, placing the glass down on the table and looking back at John, taking him in.
He was tired, that much I could tell. Sleep had been a hot commodity, something neither of us seemed able to afford. If he wasn't on the couch reading data pads, he was sitting up with me on the bed. A bunch of them would be strewn out across the blanket as we discussed different strategies and possibilities on where and when these things would strike next. Then there were the missions the crew needed assistance with, which were always more involved than they initially claimed...
It seemed never-ending. I only hoped that I was helping enough to keep him sane.
But there was something else, something in his eyes and the way he was holding his shoulders that said there was a tension between us. It can't be my shoulder, he joked about it when I walked in. What the hell could it be?
"I want to apologize," his voice broke the silence, "But I don't know how to without making excuses, which is no apology, and yet it really is." He looked down at his glass, finished the golden liquid inside and placed it on the edge of the table in front of us. With a sigh, he turned himself to face me and took my good hand in his. "I'm sorry I haven't been bringing you on missions."
I blinked a few times, still trying to sort out the source of the tension, "Um, apology accepted?"
He smiled, shaking his head, "I said that wrong, I should apologize for the reason I haven't been taking you." He adjusted his hold on my hand, glancing down at it thoughtfully. "Initially I was worried, of course, that you weren't ready physically. But then your nightmares started." He looked back down at our hands, caressing the back of mine with his thumb. "I was concerned it was something that could affect you when you were awake. So I waited, and of course, not being here, I had no idea if they were affecting you when you were awake, and you kept having them, so I just kept putting it off-"
I squeezed his hand, "John, you don't have to-"
His eyes snapped up to meet mine, "I do, because if you did this to me I would not be happy." He took a breath then continued. "All I've wanted to do since you came back was protect you. Keep you here, keep you safe, keep you away from the shit I've had to deal with. But, all I've managed to do is make you so frustrated that you train constantly and get hurt every other day." He glanced at my sling and shook his head. "I get it, I'd be worse, so I'm going to ask.
"Do you think you're ready?"
My mouth opened but nothing came out.
I had just told Doc that I wanted to train more to be ready to go out again, but now I wanted to jump at the chance to be useful.
Realizing I needed to put more thought into it, I shook my head, "You are an amazing person, and you have nothing to be sorry for. I get it, and I'm ok with you being protective.
"I also appreciate you asking my opinion, but I have to tell you no right now.
"I need to continue to train and evaluate on my own when I can return to full duty. That also means I am going to get injured, probably at least a few more times, so prepare yourself." Playfully, I poked him in the chest, then placed my hand over the same spot. "I'll let you know when I'm good to go."
His smile was sheer relief as I watched the tension drain from him, "Ok, I can live with that." He leaned in closer, his nose gently grazing my ear. "Do you think you're good to go with some physical activity in a controlled environment? Low impact and supervised, of course." His lips caressed my lobe, sending a shiver down my spine and pulling a soft sound of satisfaction from his chest. "I'll be gentle, I promise."
I pulled back just enough to look him in the eye and whispered, "Don't you dare."
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"Sam, you copy?" John's voice came over the comm.
Ceasing my assault on the punching bag in front of me, I got my breathing under control before answering, "Yeah, go ahead."
"Meet me in Grunt's quarters, there's a situation."
My protective instincts for the young Krogan kicked in, "On my way." Ripping the tape off my hands, I made a B-Line to the door as I threw it at the floor.
When the doors to the cargo bay opened, I saw Grunt pacing and John leaning against the wall adjacent to me. Grunt seemed to be mumbling to himself as John watched, carefully.
I stepped into the path of the Krogan and put a hand on his chest plate to stop him, "Grunt, what's the problem?" I kept my voice even but authoritative.
His steely eyes met mine, "Something…" His hand covered his eyes momentarily, then dropped as he turned away. "Something is wrong, Sam." He continued to pace. "I feel wrong. Tense. I just want to kill something with my hands." He mimicked the physical act of grabbing something. "And more so than usual, like it's not my choice. Like I just want to…I don't know."
Suddenly he head butted the window overlooking the engine room, glass cracking in a web like pattern.
He turned to face us from across the room, then quickly approached us, gesturing to the break, "See? Why do that? What's wrong?"
John pushed off the wall and moved to stand between myself and Grunt, "You are a Krogan, they have some violent tendencies."
My gears started turning as I looked away from them and started thinking out loud, mostly to myself, "But he's not just a Krogan, he is a pure Krogan. And a baby at that, one that didn't progress naturally."
Ignoring the questioning looks I was getting from both of the men, I crossed my arms and glared at the floor, moving to copy the pacing motions of the angry youth, "Naturally speaking Krogan aren't much different from humans, in so much as the normal maturing of their bodies."
I stopped dead, turning to look at the others in the room as it dawned on me, "You're going through puberty!"
John instantly scrunched up his face in distaste, "Uh, that's not a word I expected to hear."
Grunt huffed out his disapproval, "Doesn't matter if it's normal, I'm not. I'm not used to this noise." He stalked away from us again. "I want control. When we're moving, fighting, I focus. But here, my blood screams, my plates itch," he then turned to look at only me, "and even you are just noise.
"I'm tank-born. What is this?"
I looked at John who then gave me a concerned glance before looking back at Grunt, "I think we need a Krogan perspective on this."
Grunt glanced at Shepard then back to me, "Most off-world Krogan are warriors, Doctors don't leave the homeworld. Tuchanka." He dropped his head, his voice quieting. "I won't ask you to go there. I will control this."
John looked at me then back to Grunt, "Joker can get us to Tuchanka, I need everyone at their best."
Grunt met his eyes, appearing relieved as he nodded to the man, "Thank you Shepard." He looked back at me again. "I don't like this. Fury is my choice.
"Not a sickness."