Chapter Nine: Secrets and Snacks

Lily and James exchange secret over steaming mugs of hot chocolate

Lily couldn't sleep. It had to be well after midnight, but she could not fall asleep. She was tired, at least she should have been. Lily and Marlene had stayed out until three in the morning the night before drinking. Then, a hungover Lily had to deal with a drink Marlene all day, so she should have been exhausted. As it was, she kept tossing and turning, much to the displeasure of her dormitory mates.

"Evans, I swear to fucking Merlin, if you don't fucking shut up I'm going to murder you," Mary MacDonald threatened from her four-poster across the room.

Lily, not wanting to start World War 3 with Mary, didn't need to be told twice. She slipped out of bed, grabbed her shoes, and made her way to the Common Room.

Lily, Mary, and Marlene had been very good friends until fourth year when Lily noticed that Mary had started to distance herself from Lily and Marlene. Lily had tried to bring her concerns up to Mary, hoping the girls could work through whatever issues they were having. But Mary always brushed her off, insisting that nothing was wrong. Their friendship came to screeching halt at the end of fourth year after Mary had yelled at Lily in front of the entire Gryffindor Common Room. Lily had been distraught after Andrew admitted to cheating on her and had sought solace in Mary. However, Mary seemed to have a different opinion. She claimed Lily was lucky to have had Andrew, and maybe if she hadn't been such a prude and just had sex with him, he wouldn't have cheated. Then, in front of the entire common room, she admitted that she had been the one who slept with Andrew.

Things changed drastically in their dormitory after that incident. Instead of all getting along pleasantly as they had in the past, it became a war zone. Suddenly it was Mary versus Lily, and everyone chose sides. Marlene, being Lily's best friend, sided with Lily and vowed to hate Mary MacDonald until her last breath. Susan Corner and Lisa Davis, their other dormitory mates, had sided with Mary. Their living arrangements become much tenser after that.

Marlene believes that Mary likes what she can't have and claims that Mary was just jealous because boys started to notice Lily and Marlene and weren't noticing Mary. Lily initially blew her off because Marlene thinks everyone is jealous of her (which to her credit, they usually were). However, after Mary slept with Lily's boyfriend, she couldn't help but agree with Marlene. It didn't stop there either. Mary has been throwing herself at James Potter (unsuccessfully), and whatever Marlene's flavor of the month was (with mixed results) ever since.

Just once I want to punch her in the face, Lily thought while she walked down the stairs. Marlene got to do it in fifth year, and it looked bloody awesome.

Lily, daydreaming about punching Mary MacDonald in the face, did not notice that she wasn't alone in the Common Room. She plopped down on her favorite armchair beside the hearth, and she nearly jumped out of it when a voice spoke to her from the couch.

"Couldn't sleep either, eh Evans?" James Potter sat on the couch, smirking.

"Fuck," Lily gasped. "Potter, I didn't see you there. You startled me."

"I noticed," he continued to smirk.

"Piss off," James laughed. Lily tried to get her heart rate to slow down. "To answer your question, no, I couldn't sleep. I was keeping everyone awake with my tossing and turning, so I was banished down here. What about you?"

"Pretty much the same," James replied. "Although I wouldn't say I was banished. That sounds pretty harsh."

"Well, you know how Mary can get," Lily said grimly.

James's smile fell from his face. "Yeah, we all know how she can get."

They were quiet for a minute when James spoke up again. "You know, that was really fucked up what she did to you. We weren't friends back then, so I never got a chance to say anything to you. But I'm really sorry about what happened."

She gave him a small smile. "Thanks. It was so long ago now, though; I don't really think about it too much anymore. It's really Marlene she has the beef with now, ever since she punched her in the face."

James laughed. "God, I remember that day so fondly. It was at the Three Broomsticks, right?"

"Yea," Lily answered. "Marlene was on a date with Sophie Perks, and Mary came over and started to hit on Sophie while they were on a date."

James rolled his eyes. "That sounds like Mary."

"She doesn't even like girls!" Lily exclaimed. "Marlene had just come out as bisexual, and that was her first date with a girl. She was so nervous. So, when Mary came over, Marlene just snapped."

"We were so proud of her that day," James said warmly.

"Why's that?" Lily asked curiously.

"Well, for one thing, she came out to everyone. That couldn't have been easy for her, but she did it anyway," James said. "Then she stood up for herself against Mary. I mean, hasn't Mary dated like all of Marlene's exes?"

"She's tried," Lily scoffed. "She's rarely successful."

"That's because the people who date you and Marlene have very high standards," James said sweetly. "They wouldn't slum it with Mary MacDonald."

Lily's eyes fell to her lap, and she felt her cheeks flush red. "Mine did. My boyfriend slept with her while he was with me. What's that say about me?"

"Nothing," James said firmly. When she didn't look up, James left the couch and crouched down next to her chair, placing a hand on Lily's knee. She momentarily forgot how to breath with her skin burning beneath James' touch. "It doesn't say anything about you. Andrew Goldstein is a dullard for letting you go."

Lily had to smile at how sincere he sounded. She had rarely heard James speak with such conviction. "I know. But thank you."

They smiled at each other, and Lily realized he still had his hand on her knee. She was suddenly very aware of how close they were and that she was only wearing a flimsy t-shirt and pajama pants. She shivered and rubbed her arms.

"Are you cold?" James asked.

No, I just want to spontaneously combust every time you touch me, was what Lily wanted to say. Instead, she simply nodded.

James took off his jumper, revealing a white t-shirt underneath. Lily couldn't help but state at the sliver of skin that showed as he pealed his jumper off.

"Here," James handed Lily his jumper.

"Thanks," she mumbled as she dragged it on. She couldn't help but deeply inhale the scent of James that lingered. It smelled like peppermint, and she swore she had never smelled anything better in her entire life.

"I think we could use some hot chocolate," James suddenly announced.

"What!" Lily exclaimed with a laugh. "James, it's 1:00 a.m. Where are we going to get hot chocolate from?"

James fixed her with a serious gaze. "Do you trust me?"

Lily thought about it for a second. Do I trust him? Even when she couldn't stand James, she couldn't deny that he was loyal and dependable. He had always been there for her. So yes, she trusted him unequivocally. James Potter was one of the few people Lily knew she could always rely on.

"Yes," Lily said in a voice that was barely above a whisper.

James beamed at her in response.

"James, I still can't believe you have a real invisibility cloak," Lily hissed as they crept down the corridor towards the kitchen. "I mean, aren't these really rare?"

"Yeah, real ones are," James admitted. "It's been in my family for ages, though."

"But how –" a loud noise at the end of the corridor made Lily and James freeze on the spot.

"What was that?" she hissed. She instinctively took a step backward under the already cramped cloak, and she found her back pressed directly against James's chest. She felt her heart rate drastically increase, and she was pretty sure it had nothing to do with the fear of being caught.

"Fuck," James mumbled. He quickly whipped something out of his pocket. Is that a piece of parchment? Lily asked herself. "Lily, I am going to show you something, but you have to swear that you won't breathe a word of this to anyone."

"I swear," Lily said.

"Lily," James warned. "You need to mean it."

Lily rolled her eyes. "I solemnly swear."

James nodded at her. He unfolded the parchment and brought his wand up to it. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

Lily gasped as ink started to appear on the parchment. "Is that a map?" Lily gawked as the ink blossomed into what appeared to be – "Hogwarts. That's Hogwarts."

James grinned at her shocked expression. "This is the Marauder's Map."

"Marauder's?" Lily asked. "You mean to tell me that you made this?"

"Well me, Sirius, Remus, and Peter did," James admitted. "We've been working on this for years."

"James, this is amazing," Lily said in awe. "I mean, this is really incredible magic."

"Thanks," James smiled at her. He glanced back down at the map. "Shit, Filch is coming this way. Let's hurry."

Using the map and the invisibility cloak, Lily and James were able to navigate their way around the castle unseen successfully. James stopped in front of a portrait of a bowl of fruit. Lily gave James a confused look.

"Tickle the pear," James said with a smirk.

"Excuse me?" Lily asked.

"Just do it, Evans," James continued to smirk.

Lily reached out to tickle the pear and gasped when a doorknob appeared. She glanced at James, who nodded at her encouragingly. She hesitantly reached out and turned the knob.

As soon as they walked through the kitchen, they were bombarded by House Elves.

"Master James," they repeated as they huddled around James and Lily.

"Please, I've told you it's just James," James said with a blush.

"Come here often, do you?" Lily asked with a smirk.

"Maybe once or twice," James said, running his hand in his hair. It used to drive me nuts when he did that…Lily thought as she watched James tousle his hair. I guess it still does but in a whole different way. A way that makes me want to run my fingers through his hair.

While Lily was imagining how smooth James Potter's hair would feel as she ran her fingers through it, the House Elves were busy getting the hot chocolate that James had requested. Lily was only pulled out of her daydream when she felt something tugging on her hand.

"This way, madam," a House Elf was pulling Lily towards the table they had set up with the hot chocolate.

"Oh, thank you very much," Lily smiled as she and James sat down at the table. Lily was shocked to see not only two steaming mugs of hot chocolate, but also an assortment of marshmallows, biscotti, and other delicious treats perfect for a midnight snack.

"So, everything makes so much more sense now," Lily smirked at James.

"What do you mean?" James asked.

"How you lot have managed to sneak around this castle for six years. You have an invisibility cloak and a magical map to show you where everyone is at all times!" Lily was shaking her head at James. "I mean, it's a wonder you've ever gotten caught with those items on your side."

James laughed. "Yes, well, we only just finished the map in fifth year, so before that, we were just wondering around blind. Plus, as we have grown, it has gotten rather tight under the cloak with the four of us, so we usually have to forgo that."

Lily laughed. "So, since you've shared two secrets with me tonight, I feel like it's only fair that I share one of mine."

"Oh?" James said with a smirk. "Share away, Head Girl."

I hopelessly and irrevocably fancy you, James Potter. Is what Lily was desperate to say. It was right on the tip of her tongue. Instead, she said, "Do you remember in fifth year when Mrs. Norris ended up on the top of the North Tower?"

James gaped at her. "No way! Filch was convinced that was us!"

"It was Mar and me," Lily confessed.

James howled with laughter. "That was bloody brilliant! I had no idea that you had it in you."

"There's a lot you don't know about me," Lily said with a blush.

"Well, I'd really like the chance to find out," James said shyly.

"I'd like that, too," Lily smiled at him.

"You know, I think you owe me one more secret," James said with a smirk.

"Oh, do I?" Lily mocked.

"I told you about my cloak and the map," James insisted. "It's only fair."

"Hmmm, I suppose I do owe you one more," Lily contemplated for a moment. "Okay. Remember how I told you that I smoke occasionally? Well, my favorite spot to sneak a cigarette is at the top of the Astronomy Tower. I like to sneak up there from time to time. I find it's a great spot to clear my head when I need to think."

"Lily Evans, you really are a rulebreaker," James joked. "I find the best place for me to think and clear my head is the Quidditch Pitch."

"Why am I not surprised?"

James offered her a small smile. "Sometimes, I feel like it's the only place where things make sense to me."

"I know what you mean," Lily said softly. James gave her a confused look. "I mean not the Quidditch Pitch, but I used to have a similar place."

"Used to?" James asked.

"Yeah," Lily answered. "There is this little park close to my house, where I would spend hours on the swing set. I used to think there was no problem I couldn't solve on the swing set."

"What happened?"

Well, I used to go there every day with Petunia, and it's where I met Severus, so those memories have forever tainted that spot. "Too many ghosts. So, now I just settle for smoking off the edge of the Astronomy Tower."

James nodded. "You should try the Quidditch Pitch next time."

"Yeah, maybe I will." They smiled at each other for a moment. They both jumped a little when the large clock on the wall chimed, alerting them it was now 2 a.m. "I guess we should be heading back."

"Yeah, I guess we should." They thanked the House Elves and started to make their way back to Gryffindor Tower.

Given the extremely late hour, they made it back without any interruptions. James whipped the cloak off once they were safely back in the Common Room.

"Well, thanks for a great night," Lily said. "I had a good time."

"Yeah, me too," James's hand flicked to his hair like a nervous tick.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow," Lily said. She suddenly felt very awkward. "Good night."

"Good night, Lily." James smiled at her. They both turned and started walking toward the staircases that would lead to the respective dormitories.

"James?" Lily stopped with her foot on the first staircase.

"Yes?" James whipped his head back around to face her.

"Next time you go to the Quidditch Pitch to think, let me know," she smiled at him.

"Alright," James agreed. "But only if you let me join you next time you sneak off for a smoke in the Astronomy Tower."

Lily laughed. "Deal."

I have a feeling I'll be smoking a lot more cigarettes this year.

Lily's alarm wakes up her at 6:00 a.m. sharp. She groans as she leans over to shut it off. She's surprised to find a package next to her alarm clock. That wasn't there last night, Lily thinks to herself. Curious, she grabs the box off the table and opens the note first.

Lily,

To satisfy your fix. Happy last first day!

Your James

Lily tears the brown wrapping off the package to reveal a box of chocolates that reads: Honeydukes Finest.Lily's favorite. He remembered, Lily smiled to herself. Thinking that this school year is going to be a lot better than she thought, and more determined now than ever, she flips her covers off and heads towards the bathroom to shower. James Potter, you better watch out.

It takes Lily nearly an hour to shower, shave, do her make up, and put on her best looking uniform. She contemplates herself in the mirror, frustrated to no end with her hair that she cannot seem to tame. She sighs dramatically and flops down on her bed.

"What's got your knickers in a twist?" Marlene asks. The other girls had already headed down to breakfast, leaving Lily and Marlene alone in the dorm.

Lily is usually already down at breakfast by this time, working on her fourth cup of coffee while reading TheDaily Prophet. Marlene, on the other hand, is always the last one to breakfast. Not only does she prefer to sleep in, but she also takes an abnormally long time to get ready. In fact, most days, she doesn't even make it to breakfast at all, arriving only a few moments before the first bell.

"My hair hates me, James Potter is too bloody sexy for his own good, and I am a sodding mess," Lily complained.

"Alright, you're right about Potter being too sexy. That man and his forearms, oh and his hair-," Marlene stopped after Lily glared at her. "Right. You don't look like a mess; you look bloody fit as hell. And as for your hair, I think I can help you with that."

A few minutes later, Marlene had performed a tricky little charm that her mum had taught her, and Lily's usually wild and curly hair was pin-straight. Marlene also lent Lily her favorite cherry red lipstick to complete the look.

"One more thing to finish the ensemble," Marlene grabbed the top of Lily's skirt and gave one, two, three rolls to make it a good three inches shorter. It now sat in the middle of Lily's thigh.

"Marlene!" Lily scolded.

"You have great legs," Marlene told her. "Own it!"

Lily looked herself over the mirror. She did look good. Her skin was absolutely glowing, with just a tint of blush on her cheeks. Her hair was long, straight, and shiny, which she felt made her look more mature. Her eyeliner made her eyes pop and look a brighter green than normal. And her lips looked radiant and luscious with the bright red lipstick. With her skirt hiked up, her legs looked longer than they actually were. Unlike Marlene, Lily was rather petite in stature and had always been jealous of Marlene's legs that seemed to go on for days.

She looked completely the opposite of the last few times she saw James. She looked a deep breath. "Okay, I'm ready. Let's go." I'm coming for you, James Potter.