Chapter Thirteen: You Know Why

Lily and James are fighting. James confronts Snape. Lily receives a letter.

James and Lily didn't speak for several days. Not even during the Prefects Meeting. They simply referred to each other as the "Head Boy" and "Head Girl" when they spoke about the other one. After getting on so well for over a year, it had their friends quite worried.

"I haven't seen Lily this mad since the incident by the lake," Marlene muttered. One night while Lily and James were sulking in opposite corners of the Common Room, Marlene, Sirius, Remus, and Peter were consulting with each other about the Lily and James situation and how best to diffuse it. "James has really fucked up this time."

"Oh, come off it," Sirius interjected. "It's not all his fault. I think Lily overreacted a bit."

"I have to agree with Marlene on this one," Remus said thoughtfully.

"What?!" Sirius exclaimed. He was very protective of his best friend. "All he did was stand up for his woman. What's so wrong with that?"

"First of all, she's not his woman," Remus started. "Women aren't property, Sirius. So just never say that again. Second, this is not the first time they have had this disagreement. Lily has requested several times that James not fight her battles for her."

"Even so," Sirius started. "This is becoming ridiculous! They haven't said so much as three words to each other since last week!"

"I'll give you that," Marlene said. "They are both being little shits about this whole thing if you ask me."

"They both fucked up, and they know it," Peter defended. "If they just apologized, we could all move past this. They're clearly fucking miserable without each other."

Peter was right. James and Lily had been utter nightmares to be around for the last week. James was driving the Quidditch team harder than ever, becoming a complete tyrant. The team was so fed up; they were preparing to revolt. Lily was doing no better, taking out her frustration on the poor students who disturbed her brooding. Lily had given more detentions in one week than McGonagall gave in a month.

"Peter's right," Remus admitted. "But I don't think either one of them is going to relent soon. They are both too bloody stubborn."

"So, we are at an impasse then," Marlene said.

"Seems like it," Remus agreed.

Things were getting so bad that even Professor McGonagall took notice. When she asked to speak with James after class, he knew it couldn't be good, but he tried to be optimistic and assume she might want to about Quidditch. He was wrong.

"Is there a problem between you and Miss Evans?" McGonagall was never one to beat around the bush; something James greatly admired about her.

"Wh-What do you mean, Professor?" James asked innocently, even though he knew he wasn't fooling anyone.

She glared at him over the top of her glasses. Even after seven years, that woman can still manage to instill a deep-rooted fear in me with one look, James thought as he withered under her glare.

"Mr. Potter, you and Miss Evans haven't spoken one word to each other in my class all week. And I have it on good authority you two were very curt with each other in the Prefects meeting last night," McGonagall replied. "Now, what did you do?"

"Me? Why do you assume it was me?" James exclaimed. McGonagall simply looked at him in response. "Nothing happened. We are fine."

McGonagall considered this for a moment before responding. "I hope so, Mr. Potter. The Head Boy and Girl must have good working relations. Must I remind you that both of you set an example for the school, so don't embarrass me, Mr. Potter."

"Yes, ma'am," James replied.

"Very well, you may go." James turned and had made it to the door when McGonagall called out to him. "My advice, Mr. Potter, just apologize for whatever it is you did."

"Yes, ma'am," James mumbled again before leaving. I swear, nothing gets by that woman.

James and Lily's feud continued for over a week, much to the displeasure of their friends and fellow classmates. A few days after his conversation with McGonagall, and nearly two weeks after their initial fight, James was finally forced to interact with Lily. They were on rounds together and had been patrolling in strained silence for around twenty minutes.

This is getting ridiculous, James thought. I should probably just apologize. While James was still pissed at Lily for her reaction, he could understand why she reacted the way she did. When they declared a truce last year, she had explicitly asked him not to underestimate her. While he knows Lily is more than capable of protecting herself, James can't help but intervene whenever she's in trouble. James was terrified by the thought of Lily getting hurt; he literally had nightmares about it. But he didn't know how to explain that to her in a platonic way.

"Lily, I –" James started. He was interrupted by a certain greasy-haired someone retreating down the corridor. Even though his back was facing Lily and James, it was obvious who the lurker was. I would recognize that greasy hair anywhere, James thought. Snape was still walking backward when Lily let out a startled gasp and jumped into the nearest broom cupboard.

Snape finally turned around at Lily's gasp to come face-to-face with James.

"Snivellus, what are you doing out of bed?" James demanded.

"That's none of your business, Potter," Snape sneered.

"Afraid it is my business actually since I'm Head Boy," James replied. "Let's see, I think ten points from Slytherin for being out after curfew and detention for your cheek. I'm feeling generous tonight, take it or leave it."

Snape was fuming. "Where is Lily tonight? Isn't she your patrol partner?"

"I'm afraid she's none of your business either. You lost that privilege a long time ago."

"She'll never want you," Severus taunted.

"Who?" James asked, feigning confusion. As if I don't know who he's talking about.

"Lily. She doesn't like you," Severus pointed out the obvious.

"Apparently she doesn't like you either," James played it cool on the outside, but he was fuming on the inside. How dare he talk about her like he knows her at all anymore. James probably would have exploded already if Lily hadn't been hiding in the broom cupboard, listening to their entire conversation.

"Why do you bother? It's not like there aren't a million other girls that wouldn't sleep with you. Why her?" Severus asked.

"I don't just want to sleep with her. She's not some prize to be won," James said disgusted. "I care about her."

"You still didn't answer my question, why her?"

Because she's the most beautiful person I have ever laid eyes on. Because of the adorable way her eyebrows kink when she's frustrated or thinking really hard. Because she has the purest heart and the best intentions. James could go on and on about reasons why he cares about Lily Evans. But since she was still in the broom cupboard and listening to every word he said, James simply replied, "I think you know why." Severus thought about that for a moment. He looked at James with a knowing look in his eyes. "Now get out of my sight before I give you detention for a month."

Severus gave James a departing glare and fled the corridor. Lily waited a few more moments before she exited the broom cupboard.

"Thanks," Lily mumbled while focusing on her feet.

"I told you I would handle all the men you were trying so adamantly to avoid," James smirked at her. "But really, this is your fault. Maybe if you weren't so bloody fanciable, you wouldn't run into this problem."

Lily's face dropped, and James immediately felt guilty. "Shit, Lily, I'm sorry," he scrambled. "That was supposed to be a joke. I mean not the part about you being fanciable, that's true. I mean that it's your fault. It's obviously not your fault. It's all those stupid gits faults. Myself included."

Lily stared at him for a moment, and James's heart stopped. I've really done myself in this time. To his surprise, Lily started laughing, like really laughing. Face red, belly grabbing, hunched over the wall laughing.

"I'm sorry," Lily choked while wiping tears away from her face. "It's really not funny, but you should see your face."

And then James was laughing, too. James and Lily stood there laughing and unable to breathe for around five minutes before either one of them could collect themselves again.

"You were wrong about one thing, James," Lily finally said after they were both able to catch their breath.

"Just one?" James smirked. "Alright, let's hear it. What was I wrong about?"

"Most men are insufferable, idiotic gits," Lily started, and James's heart plummeted. Then she smiled at him and added, "But you are not most men, James Potter."

"And that's a good thing?" James asked, unsure.

"That is a very good thing," Lily assured him. She paused a moment before continuing. "Thank you for covering for me back there. Even though it's been nearly two years, it's still hard for me to deal with him."

"You don't have to thank me." James insisted. "I can only imagine how hard it was for you to go through all that."

Lily scoffed. "You don't even like Severus."

"No, he's a right, nasty git. But I do know what it's like to have a best friend. If I lost Sirius, or Remus or Peter the way you did Snape, well, I don't reckon I could face them either. I don't think I could ever recover from it."

Lily smiled at him, gratefully. "I know I shouldn't let it upset me as much as it does. But what most people don't understand is that we were friends before Hogwarts."

James was genuinely shocked by this news, and his face showed it. "I had no idea. I guess I should have realized, though. Dunno how else you two could have become so close being in two houses that hate each other."

"Yeah, we've been friends since we were nine years old. We both grew up in Cokeworth. Severus was the first person to tell me I was a witch. He told me all about Hogwarts and the wizarding world. For so long, he was my only connection to this world, and I think he used that to his advantage.

"I remember when we came home for breaks, and some days I would wake up convinced that this was all a dream. But then I would see Severus and remember that it's real. That this is my life; my world. Being friends with Severus was never easy. He never liked the Muggle side of me. He was always horrible to my sister, Petunia. I think he's a big reason why our relationship deteriorated the way it did. He was even rude to my parents.

"When we were at school, it was easier for him to pretend that I wasn't Muggle-born that I was just like everyone else. Of course, that was before he started really hanging around those fucking Death Eaters. For years, I had to watch and listen as they corrupted him even more. He was always talking about Muggle-borns as though they were somehow beneath him. He would assure me that I was different, though. But I'm not. I'm not different. If he hates Muggle-borns, he hates me. I think he finally started to realize that he couldn't have them and me. And he chose them. I'm sad about it sometimes. But I know I'm much better off without him in my life."

James was quiet all through Lily's speech, and he was quiet now as he considered what she said. He had many things to say in response, but James didn't think Lily would appreciate his thoughts on how Snape's a fucking bastard, and he should go rot in hell. Somehow, I think she already knows that.

"Lily, I am so sorry. I had no idea. Now I feel like an even bigger jackass for making him say that stuff to you by the lake."

"James, don't," Lily said fiercely. "You didn't make him say anything to me he already didn't feel. You might have driven him there, but you by no means forced him to call me that. If anything, I should thank you. That was the final straw for me. Who knows how long I might have dragged that friendship on if that hadn't happened.'

"Even still, no one should have to lose a friend like that."

"Well, I try to look at it like I lost one best friend, but gained four more," Lily smiled at him sweetly.

James insides warmed at the thought that not only did Lily consider him one of her best friends, but his three best friends as well. Even though the Marauders had only been hanging out with Lily and Marlene for a year, their little group didn't feel complete without the two girls there. They somehow managed to complete them. Maybe it had something to do with Lily and Marlene bringing some grace and dignity to the circle (well, Lily did, Marlene was just as senseless as the rest of them).

"Lily, you know we love you and Marlene. Our group doesn't feel complete anymore without you two around. And as part of our group, that means we stick up for each other. Whenever I see one of my friends being threatened, I just react. I usually don't even think about what I'm doing before I do it. So, I'm sorry if I overstepped last week by intervening. I know you like to fight your battles on your own."

Lily was thoughtful for a moment. "Thank you for apologizing. While I like to defend myself, that doesn't mean I always have to. I'm sorry for overreacting the way I did. You didn't deserve me yelling at you."

"No, I totally did. I just saw you and Sirius on the Map surrounded by a horde of Slytherin gits, and I panicked. I didn't even think about it when I ran off, dragging Remus and Peter along with me. All I saw was two of my favorite people in the world in danger, and I just jumped into action."

"I'm one of your favorite people in the world?" Lily asked, clearly taken aback.

"Well, yeah," James said, as though it was obvious.

Lily looked at him for a moment, and he thought for sure she was going to hex him. But then she did something that surprised him. She threw her arms around his neck and wrapped him in a warm hug.

Is she hugging me? Oh my god, she's hugging me. I'm hugging Lily fucking Evans. This is amazing! James, after the initial shock wore off, wrapped his arms around her waist and hugged her right back, and he swore there was no better place in the world. Not to mention Lily smelled amazing. Like lavender and vanilla.

For a few minutes, they remained like that, embraced in each other's arms. Neither one of them wanted to be the first to pull away, but Lily was the one who finally broke their hug. She awkwardly cleared her throat and took a step back. She was blushing fiercely when she finally said, "So, rounds?"

"Rounds." James smiled at her, and she smiled sweetly back.

The next day at breakfast, their friends were pleasantly surprised to see Lily and James enjoying their meals together, talking and laughing as though nothing ever happened.

"Fucking finally," Sirius groaned as they plopped down next to them. "We were all getting so tired of how pathetic and miserable you two were without each other."

Lily and James blushed furiously. Remus smacked Sirius. "Don't be such an idiot."

"Well, I, for one, am glad this is all over," Marlene declared. "It was getting dreadfully dull watching you two fight. Not to mention, we can finally have our Captain back."

"I wasn't that bad, was I?" James asked incredulously.

Sirius and Marlene just glared at him. "You know I love you," Sirius started. "But the entire team was plotting ways to throw you off your broom and make it look like an accident."

Everyone but James laughed at this. Their conversation was interrupted by the arrival of the post. An owl that James didn't recognize flew right up to Lily and dropped a letter in her lap. She picked it up to examine it and stared at it like she had seen a ghost.

"Lily?" Marlene asked hesitantly. "What is it?"

"It's a letter," Lily said, while continuing to stare at the envelope.

"No shit," Sirius scoffed. She kicked him under the table. "Oww!"

She tore the letter open, and her eyes moved swiftly as she skimmed over the words. "It's from Andrew."

"Goldstein?" James exclaimed. He was horrified to hear the high-pitched tremor in his voice.

"Yes," Lily looked cautiously at him. "I have to go."

She jumped up and practically ran out of the Great Hall.

"Well, this should be interesting," Sirius said.

"This is going to be hell," Marlene corrected before she also got up and followed Lily out of the Great Hall.

As James watched the two girls exit the hall, he felt as though he was watching his chances with Lily walk right away with them. James remembered all too well when Lily dated Andrew. It had been the worst six months of his life. He had just started to come to terms with his feelings for Lily and watching her with another man had been heartbreaking. The worst part of it wasn't watching the two of them kiss in the corridor before class or snuggle in the Common Room (although it certainly wasn't pleasant to witness); the worst part was watching the shitty way Andrew treated Lily all throughout their relationship. Even before Andrew cheated on Lily, he hadn't been a great boyfriend.

James had watched while Andrew forced Lily to quiz him while she was trying to study in the library. He claimed he needed all the help he could get since he was preparing for his N.E.W.T.S. and insisted that she didn't need to study as much because "fourth year was such a breeze."

James had watched Lily wait for Andrew for hours after he had said he would meet her for their dates, and the only excuse he could offer her was, "I got busy with my friends."

James had watched how uncomfortable Lily would get when Andrew started touching her in public. She would shove his hands away two or three times before Andrew would complain loudly about what a prude she was before storming off.

James had watched as Lily became nearly a ghost of what she had been before, and it broke his heart to see her suffer like that.

"What does that asshole want with Lily?" James said through gritted teeth. "Hasn't he done enough damage?"

"I don't know," Remus said. "But whatever it is, it can't be good."

"You got that right, Moony," James replied.