Chapter 5 - Hungover on a Saturday Morning

Well you look like yourself

But you're somebody else

You're Somebody Else, Flora Cash

BPOV

Bzzzzz. Bzzzzz. Bzzzzz.

Bzzzzz. Bzzzzz. Bzzzzz.

"What the fuck," I groaned, lifting up my head. The sudden movement caused the room to spin and my head to feel so incredibly heavy. The buzzing continued on, until I realized it was my phone, which lay on the ground next to the couch. The couch?

"What the fuck?" I muttered again, looking around.

I was in my New York apartment, laid across my huge plush crushed velvet couch. The sunlights that dominated my living room allowed a ton of sunlight to enter the room, illuminating the empty bottle of wine next to a popcorn bag, my laptop, and a large wine glass.

New York. Wine.

Edward.

It was all coming back to me now.

My phone, which I had yet to locate, stopped ringing only to start up again a moment later. After a few more choice words that would make my father's mustache twitch, I finally found my phone wedged between couch cushions.

"Hello?" I answer groggily, sinking back into the couch.

"I need your photos yesterday," Alice shouts into the line, snapping me into awareness. I sit up, glancing around the room once again. Apparently last night I had cracked open that bottle of expensive French wine that had been gifted to me by a lover from one of my trips to Perpignan for the Visa pour l'image. It had been a nice distraction from memories of Edward, not to mention a good reminder that there were people out there, like the person who gifted me this wine, that are interested in me. Laurent, this particular lover, still sends me lengthy text messages in a mixture of French and English where he describes our nights together in detail, and how much he wishes we could have an encore. If it were up to him, I would stay in Perpignan forever.

"Bella?"

Alice draws me back to the present, where my temples are throbbing and my eyes burn. Her voice is considerably softer this time, and I work hard to give her my full attention.

"Yes, Alice. I know. I edited them last night before I got completely trashed. I guess I just forgot to hit send. I'll shoot them over to you right now." Reaching for my laptop, I fight the urge to hurl. What an absolute fucking mess. Slacking on deadlines now?

She's quiet for a moment on the other end. Once we both hear the sound of her inbox pinging with the photos, she speaks. "How was it? Seeing him again?"

I fought the urge to roll my eyes - mostly because it hurt so bad to even think of moving my eyeballs.

"I don't know. It was fine. It sucked." I sighed. "You know how you think you've recovered from something, but really you're just never acknowledging or confronting those things?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah. My divorce is one of those things."

"You know, there's a lot of options for help to get over stuff these days. You've tried avoidance, I know you've tried a slew of one night stands -"

"A slew?!" I protest, but she continues on.

"Now there's a lot less stigma around seeing a therapist. You don't even need to go into offices these days, you can do it via video conference. Which means from any corner of the world."

I close my eyes, thumping back down onto the couch. She's right, of course. I've let this go on unresolved for too long. How I coped with seeing Edward again proved that.

"Send me the link," I murmur quietly. She cheers loudly, and I shush her. "Now let me go back to sleep."

I wake up a few hours later feeling a lot less like I just got run over. Based on the sun streaming in through my giant windows, it's very late afternoon. My apartment feels too toasty for comfort, and my mouth too cottony, so I make my way towards the bathroom to take a shower.

Once my hair is washed, skincare is done, teeth are brushed and the AC is blasted, I venture out into the living space again, cleaning up my mess from last night. Picking up my phone, I check the notifications that have piled up.

Bella, these photos are amazing ! - Alice

Seriously, why did you stop doing tour photography? - Alice

Well I obviously know why. Oops. - Alice

Anyway - here's the link to that online counseling. Enjoy the rest of your downtime. Hugs! - Alice

Hey Bella! It's Mike. From the office. Just wanted to say thank you for doing that shoot last night. I didn't see you before you left after the show, I was going to tell you then. That second half of the show - insane. Anyway, pictures turned out great. You've spoiled me on other photographers for life lol :D - Michael, NYT

Here's the article if you want to read it. Thanks again. - Michael, NYT

Hey, loca. I'm still in town tonight. We need to get together. - Black

Bella. Come on. - Black

If I don't hear from you in the next hour, I'm just coming over to your place. I'll terrorize your neighbors until I hear back from you. - Black

Alright. Don't say I didn't warn you. - Black

I looked at the time stamp on the texts from Jake. The first few were sent 2 hours ago - the last one was sent a half hour ago.

"Shit," I cursed, pressing on his name and dialing. I listened to the ringing until his generic voicemail kicked on.

"If you were waiting on me to text you back, why aren't you answering the phone!" I growl, trying his number one more time. After the fourth time of hearing his voicemail, I heard a knock on the door.

"Fuck fuck fuckity fuck," I cursed. I was only wearing a silk robe after my shower.

Tripping on the carpet in my rush to the door, I threw it open in a rage.

"You're one annoying fuck, you know that?" I hissed, only to stop in my tracks. Because the man in front of me wasn't my childhood friend.

It was my ex-husband.

Edward.