Just as a precaution: obviously, I do not own Gravity Falls.
Camo blearily opened one eye when she heard her alarm go off. She was so tired. Why . . . ? Oh, right. Running away from a giant gnome monster. That would explain it. She didn't want to wake up . . . why did she set her alarm so early anyway? Work didn't start until 10:00, there wasn't much point in getting up at 7:30. Whatever. She usually was better about going to sleep, but she lost track of time last night. That's what made her so tired this morning: she went to bed a lot later than usual, so she wanted to wake up later than usual. An extra half hour couldn't hurt . . .
She rolled over and went back to sleep.
She came back to her senses after . . . not too long, she hoped? Sleepily, she looked at her watch, which she'd left on her bedside table and—
Oh, scuff. This is exactly what she was afraid of.
She sat bolt upright and grabbed an outfit at random (usually she methodically picked the most random outfit she could) and hastily poured a bowl of cereal. It took fifteen minutes to walk to the Shack, and she'd already used five minutes getting dressed, which left her with ten minutes to eat . . . oh, dear. She was never staying up late again, and more specifically, never sleeping in. She didn't have parents to wake her up here, she had to be responsible.
She hurried to the Shack, hoping against hope that work hadn't started . . . yet . . .
Where was all the tourists?
She walked up to the gift shop entrance of the Shack and read the note taped to it and groaned, banging her head against the door.
Cutting work today for family bonding! You're welcome!
Apparently, though, they were still inside, because Stan came and opened the door. "Camo? You can read, right? No work today."
"Yes, I can read!" she said, annoyed. "It's just that I was really rushing this morning because I thought I was going to be late to the work you forgot to mention that we didn't have today!" She pulled the note off the door and threw it to the ground, shoving it with her foot. Stan scuffs. "It would've been nice to know in advance!"
Dipper peered from behind his Grunkle. "Wait, what's the problem?"
Camo crossed her arms and looked away with a huff. "I just got unnecessarily stressed out because Stan forgot to mention there was no work today."
Stan said, "Well, now you get the day off! Go spend some time with your family, or something."
She tried not to wince, and failed. It ended up looking a lot more suspicious than intended. Dipper spoke again, and he sounded concerned. "Wait, can't you spend time with your family?"
"Um . . ." A lie popped into her head a lot quicker than she was expecting. "They're actually out of town today, because they were planning for me to just go to work and be done with it. But, obviously that isn't going to work . . ." Now even Stan was looking sympathetic, which meant something was wrong. Was she not good at lying? Was it something she said? All of a sudden, Mabel popped up next to her brother.
"Grunkle Stan, can Camo join us? If she doesn't have anything to do?"
The man seemed to consider it, and, when the twins started pleading for him to let her join, he sighed. "Fine. Come on in." She beamed and came in with her friends. Stan followed the kids and continued whatever he was saying before she showed up. "As I was saying, maybe I haven't been the best summer caretaker"—Camo vividly remembered running from gnomes while Stan got distracted by his own merchandise—"but I swear, today we're gonna have some real family fun." He glanced at the non-Pines. "Plus Camo. Now who wants to put on some blindfolds and get into my car?"
"Yay!" the kids cheered, until Dipper had a double take and added "Wait, what?"
Camo bumped along in the backseat of Stan's car with the Pines twins. The car was sticky, and she couldn't even see what was making the stickiness because of this blindfold. Stan was trying to tune into some radio station with cringe-worthy old people music which, to her, was even older, because what was new to these people was a decade old to her. Whatever. She liked 80s rock best, anyhow. The car swerved and Dipper yelped. She simply clung to the backseat. Sticky or no, it was better than getting thrown through the window. It didn't matter that she was wearing her seatbelt; Stan's driving was so bad that it wouldn't matter.
"Blindfolds never lead to anything good," Dipper said nervously.
"Wow, I feel like all my other senses are heightened," Mabel said cheerfully. "I can see with my fingers." She must've touched Dipper or something, because he started laughing. Meanwhile, Camo was thinking about how eager Stan had been to bring her into their family bonding and shove her in their car. Suddenly, the car bumped back upwards, and she clung even tighter to the seat. The good thing about blindfolds was that no one else could see her doing this!
"Grunkle Stan, are you wearing a blindfold?" Dipper asked anxiously. Knowing Stan, it wouldn't be that strange for him.
"Nah, but with these cataracts I might as well be," he said, which, judging from Dipper tensing up next to her, did not soothe his thoughts very much. "Geez, Camo, you look like we're going to die."
"Are you facing backwards?!" she screeched, and since she was sitting behind him, she reached out and kicked the back of his seat.
"Alright, alright, fine. What is that, a woodpecker?"
They all screamed, none louder than Camo, as they crashed through the fence and into the forest.
Miraculously, they all arrived to . . . wherever they were in one piece. Camo practically threw herself out of the car, gasping and thoroughly shaken. "Mr. Pines, please, never drive me anywhere ever again. Do you even have a license?"
"Ha, that doesn't matter. Okay, open 'em up," he told the kids. She pulled off the blindfold to see the bright light of day and, when she put her glasses back on, read the sign. Honestly, though, he didn't even need to bother with the blindfold with her; without her glasses, she'd be as good as blind anyway. Right, staying on topic. Fishing Season: Opening Day. She closed her eyes and cursed Time Baby. She may have lived in Florida, but fishing? She'd rather get chased by a giant gnome monster. "Ta-da! It's fishing season!" Stan said happily.
"Fishing?" Mabel asked, confused.
"What are you playing at, old man?" Dipper asked, suspicious.
"Why did I accept this?" Camo asked, to herself.
"You're gonna love it!" Stan insisted. "The whole town's out here!"
It certainly seemed that way. Lazy Susan was out in a boat with a frying pan, beckoning for the fish to jump in. Toby Determined was taking a photo of another man holding a very big fish and making him fall backwards into the water with the flash. Manly Dan was breaking fishing poles, fishing with his bare hands, and wrestling the fish while his family cheered him on. Tyler Cutebiker was right next to them, joining in the chant. So, it would be two things she hated: fishing, and socialization! She should've just stayed back and read . . .
"That's some quality family bonding," Stan said, and she actually thought he believed it.
"Grunkle Stan, why do you want to bond with us all of a sudden?" Dipper asked suspiciously. She'd only known him for a couple days, and it seemed he only had two modes: nervous, and suspicious. Scuff, that kid was paranoid.
Stan blinked, then walked back to the kids. "Come on, this is gonna be great! I've never had fishing buddies before. The guys from the lodge won't go with me." The old man rolled his eyes and said, in air quotes, "They don't like or trust me." I wonder why? Camo thought dryly.
"I think he actually wants to fish with us," Mabel told her brother, after having been uncharacteristically quiet.
Camo gave the old man a side eye. "But . . . fishing?"
"Hey, I know what'll cheer you sad sacks up!" Stan said, and he put two sunhats on the twins. "Pow! Pines family fishin' hats."
She rubbed her toe in the dirt, feeling left out. Stan just wanted to spend time with his family, and she'd come along and butted in. It wasn't his fault she was bored, and they should get to have some time with their family. She didn't especially miss hers, but she'd always been independent, and her family was the most boring one she'd ever seen. They never knew what to do with her outfit tastes. Actually, she didn't know what she'd put on that morning. She looked down at herself. Cargo pants, a t-shirt with a movie reference, and rainboots. Ah, well. It wouldn't break any records, but it was strange enough that she wouldn't fit in much.
The twins, meanwhile, were looking at the names on their hats: Dippy and Mabel, but with an upside-down E. "It's just gonna be the four of us and those goofy hats on a boat for ten hours!"
"Ten hours?" Dipper asked, and she was thinking the same thing. Well, if push comes to shove and she needed to escape this creepy old man, then she could just jump overboard and swim away.
"I brought the joke book."
Yep, she was jumping overboard at some point today.
While all three kids were considering their impending doom, a crazy old man came running from the dock, pushing away people, tables, and sandwiches in his haste to warn people of the "Gravity Falls gobblewonker" before it "scramdoodles away". He then proceeded to do a little dance, right there and then. This guy looked even older and crazier than Stan, which was certainly a high bar.
"Aw, he's doing a happy jig," Mabel said cheerfully. If Dipper was only ever nervous and suspicious, she was only ever cheerful.
"NoOoOo!" the man yelled. "It's a jig of grave danger!"
Then a man from indoors came out and started spraying the old man with a spray bottle and calling him . . . Dad. Oh, scuff, that was messed up. "But I got proof this time, by gummity!" The Pines twins exchanged a look that Camo thoroughly did not understand, and then the old man led everyone to a broken boat at the end of the dock. "Behold! It's the gobbledywonker that done did it! It had a long neck like a gee-raffe, and wrinkly skin like . . . like this gentleman right here," the old man said, pointing at Stan, who had his finger in his ear. "It chopped my boat up to smitheroons! It shim-shammed over to Scuttlebutt Island! You gotta believe me!" he screamed the final bit, and Camo felt bad for the poor guy, which only worsened when the one of the cops made a joke at his expense and everyone else started laughing.
He wandered away, saying old man curses like, "Aw, donkey spittle! Banjo polish . . .", and then he was gone.
The four of them stared at him as he went, and Stan broke the silence by saying, "Well, that happened. Now, let's untie this boat and get out on that lake!" Stan said cheerfully. He hopped into a boat that looked like it was more patched than fixed. She turned to the twins with genuine concern in her face.
"I hope you two know how to swim."
Dipper completely ignored her, talking excitedly with his sister over . . . something about a photo contest? Then Mabel stared off into the horizon and started daydreaming. Camo wanted to ask, but figured she wasn't going to get a straight answer out of Dipper, so she would just figure it out as she went. Eventually, the boy snapped his fingers in her face and she proudly declared, "Dipper, I am one million percent on board with this!"
"With what?" Camo asked and Mabel waved her away without explaining.
"Grunkle Stan! Change of plans!" The boy got up close to his grunkle. "We're taking that boat to Scuttlebutt Island, and we are gonna find that gobblewonker." The twins started chanting for a monster hunt, and she just sadly looked at Stan. He looked upset, and she couldn't blame him. (The old man came back to join in the chant, though after everyone gave him a weird look, he sadly left.) And when she started feeling bad about infringing on Stan's family time, Soos randomly came over in his ship, the S.S. Cool Dude.
"You dudes say something about a monster hunt?"
The kids stepped closer, and Mabel said, "Soos!", to which he replied "What's up, hambone?" They fist bumped and, yet again, Camo felt like she shouldn't be there.
"Dude, you could totally use my boat for your hunt. It's got a steering wheel, chairs . . . normal boat stuff."
"Alright, alright, let's think this through. You kids could go waste you time on some epic monster-finding adventure, or you could spend the day learning how to tie knots and skewer worms with your great uncle/boss Stan!" He looked so enthusiastic about it that she didn't have the heart to tell him that she already knew how to do those things.
The twins looked between Soos and Stan, their decision obviously plastered on their faces.
"So, whaddya say?" Stan asked, but the twins had already jumped on Soos's boat. Camo stood there, looking at Stan, and she sighed. Despite her hatred of fishing and uncomfortableness at the situation, she couldn't just leave him alone.
She rubbed the back of her neck and said, "I know it's not family bonding if you do it with me, but . . . would you mind?"
The joy on his face wasn't something she'd expected to make her boss have. She (awkwardly) got into his boat and sat there, trying not to touch the creepy fishing lured sitting next to her. Dipper, Mabel, and Soos had already left for their monster hunt. She didn't know if it violated the time wish if she didn't go with them, but . . . oh, well. They sat there in awkward silence for a moment until Stan cleared his throat. "Y'know, it's fine if you wanted to go with the kids. I—I wouldn't've stopped ya." He looked sadly down at the bottom of the boat.
"No . . ." she said hesitantly, and they locked eyes. "You don't deserve to be alone. Plus, they're going to get themselves hurt, and they're going to realize they were being jerks, and I'll be able to rub it in their faces! Ha ha!"
Stan chuckled slightly at that. "Really? I could tell when you found out what we were doing how upset you were about fishing."
"It's just . . . long, and boring, and the worms creep me out." She gave an exaggerated shudder, and Stan laughed. "But if you agree to be good conversation and to do the worms for me, then it'll be okay . . . 'family bonding'." She said in air quotes.
"You got yourself a deal, kid."
He prepped her fishing pole for her and they drove out into the middle of the lake, where she threw it as far as she could (which, admittedly, isn't far) and sat there in silence for a moment. "Have you gone fishing before?" he asked her.
"Uh, yeah," she answered, a little startled at the sudden question. "I live—used to live in Florida, and my aunt is fishing crazy, so whenever we visit her, it's mandatory. Most of the time, though, I get zero bites and end up wandering around, looking at rocks. Honestly, it's more interesting." Stan gave a bark of laughter at that. "No, really. I sometimes try to figure out what kind they are, and sedimentary ones look really cool. Though, the fact that fishing is dead boring also has something to do with it."
Stan grinned. "You see, this is why I hired you. Not because you do a good job at work—"
"—which I do—"
"—but because you're funny. I like that. But I don't like complimenting people, so back to stories! I actually used to live on a beach, did you know that?"
"Really?"
"Yep. Glass Shard Beach, New Jersey. That place is awful though, definitely don't recommend it. Me and my . . . friend . . . would wander the beach, looking for treasure. You reminded me of him, just a second ago, with the rocks. Sounds like something he'd do." Stan pulled on his pole, but no dice. Or rather, no fish. He threw it back out. "Once, we actually found something: an old ship, hidden in a cave."
"Sounds like it'd be broken and full of termites," Camo deadpanned.
"Oh, it was, believe me," Stan agreed. "We hung out shirts on the flagpole and pushed it outside. It was fun."
"Hmm." She pulled on her fishing pole, but, naturally, there was nothing there, so she cast it out again. "What did you do with it? It would be a shame if you put all that effort into it and didn't do anything else, though that sounds exactly like the sort of thing I'd do."
"Oh, yeah. Over the next couple of years, we fixed it up, planning to become international treasure hunters. Beaches and babes for us!"
Camo gave him a sly grin. "I'm guessing it didn't work out, since you're running a tourist trap in the middle of the country and socializing with a thirteen-year-old?"
"That's how old you are?" He was startled. "I thought you were twelve, like the twins."
"Please. I'm six months older than them. I thought it was obvious, what with the maturity, and all?" She flipped her hair, rather uselessly, but it had the effect she wanted. They both were consumed by a fit of laughter. True, she may have been doing her least favorite outdoor activity (which was the worst kind of activity) in a gross old boat with a gross old man, but hey. At least she didn't almost die today, save for the time Stan pushed her out of the boat. Or the time that the lake police caught up to them and forced Stan to wear an ankle bracelet. Or when she accidently annoyed Manly Dan and finally understood what the poor fish were going through. But otherwise, she was fine.
Sure enough, just like she predicted, they came crawling back, and she got to mock them for being jerks. And then, for the last hour or so (oh, wow. She actually spent ten hours on a boat with Stan, and it wasn't as bad as she thought it'd be!) they just hung out, fished unsuccessfully, and encountered the lake police again. Thankfully, they managed to escape, but not without some . . . casualties . . . hah, just kidding.
"Oh, by the way, guys, how'd your monster-hunting go?" Camo asked, suddenly remembering what they'd been gone for.
"Eh," Dipper answered. "Turns out the gobblewonker is just a robot built by Old Man McGucket. That's the old guy, by the way," he added.
"Ha! Meanwhile, I know your Grunkle better than you do at this point!"
"Ugh, yeah, yeah, I know. Still disappointed, though."
"Eh." She grinned and threw her wet hair out of her face. "Oh, by the way, Stan?" The old man looked back at her from his freaky fishing lures and worms. When she spoke, her voice was low and menacing. "Next time, tell me when you're cancelling work."
Everyone laughed at that, which made her feel pretty good, and not uncomfortable at all.
Wow! People are actually reading my fic! Woo!