Sequel to "I Won't Let You Fall"
The trip back to the frog village was quiet and without further agitation, the wheels of the great cart wobbled occasionally from the overweight of so many passengers and the dragging of small stones along the way. The wind seemed to circle calmly, and the reddish hue of the night was beginning to fade more and more at the dawn of a new day... a new day... How long had it been?
The repetitive image of a swampy landscape overgrown with weeds and sunken trees would have been a more than soothing sight right now, were it not for the airs of animosity and accusing looks thrown over my head. I couldn't blame the frogs for their hostility, if I were in their position, I think my behavior would be much worse than theirs... deception, invasion, and death threats... to tell you the truth, I'm very lucky not to be caged and in chains, awaiting a gruesome execution for my crimes... I mean, even though I was acting under the law... they were the ones who won in the end, and now I'm at the mercy of what they decide to do with me... However, none of that could matter to me now... after everything that has happened tonight... I would just like to sleep and forget how miserable I feel right now...
"Hey Anne?... Maybe... you're better off without me... "
Of what happened in the now ruins of the tower of the toads... of what I did and said... of what I was about to abandon.
I must say that in other circumstances I would have jumped off the wagon while it was still in motion a long time ago, fleeing to wherever this hellish forest ended, just to get away from the damned instigations that complete strangers felt towards me, whether they were right or not. The only thing that prevented me from doing such a thing, were the conflicts that haunted my conscience, and the trap of hugs of brown hair and dirty clothes that kept me sitting in an awkward position. After... what happened in the tower, Anne had refused to let go or detach from me, even though of the two she was the one who was more exhausted and hurt. After convincing myself and her family of frogs that escorting them home was the best course of action after the toads (and Grime...) left me to my fate... Anne's arms they have clung to my waist like shackles made of flesh, muscle, and superhuman strength... even now, unconscious and snoring placidly against my right ear, their embrace was still as tight as when we came down from what was left of the stairs to the exit.
"She's exhausted because of me... "
I don't mind this kind of physical contact in the least... (not that I would have had a choice to begin with) Anne has always been a heavy sleeper and this isn't the first time she's caught me in this kind of situation... I just wish it would allow me to relax into a more comfortable position... and... get away from the annoying presence of that pink frog who seemed to have taken it upon himself to be my personal guard for the entire ride, at least the others seemed to watch me surreptitiously and then go about their own business... but he watched my every move with a chilling attention that bothered me too much... What was his relationship with Anne? There were times when he seemed to want to tell me something, he would open his mouth only to close it again in that very second... he would always stay silent... and once again, I understand his hostility and paranoia, after all... tried to kill his... father? Grandpa?... I was about to cut off his head God I was about to cut his head off... he saw firsthand the kind of monster I can become... what I am willing to do to achieve what I want... And even if Anne has forgiven me for the moment (did she?) I'm sure he never will.
—This is going to be a long journey...
I think it would have been better for everyone if they left me in the ruins of the tower just like Grime and the rest of the toads did… I don't even understand why Anne still wants me by her side… after everything I've done... What are we now? What happens between us now?
Maybe I fell asleep at some point, or my self-reflective reverie went too deep that I got completely lost in my mind... but I don't remember much of what happened for the rest of the trip until we got to the town, everything happened like a blur to me, fast and cloudy, a flash of moments covered in meaningless groans and mutterings, guided by sleepwalking movements completely out of my control. Before I knew it, I found myself walking slowly down a path of gravel and pebbles, with Anne's (surprisingly light) dead weight on my shoulders, her family of frogs in front, silently leading the way. I nearly tripped over my own feet in shock at missing out on who knows how many minutes of my life... but I managed to compose myself quickly enough that they didn't notice my nervousness... Gods, what the hell is going on with me?
The pain and physical exhaustion is something I also become aware of, my armor begins to feel surprisingly heavy, and walking is a cruel strain on my bones, Anne's unconscious body on my back only makes things worse, but I don't complain or wobble, I keep standing as if nothing disturbed me, protecting my friend's sleep even though I know I won't be able to carry her for long without ending up fainting too... Because that's something I have to do, once of so many tasks that I must perform to make myself worthy of your true forgiveness... I do not matter here, for once in my life it was time that I carried the weight of Anne on my shoulders, instead of her having to carry mine.
Fortunately, my affliction did not have time to build up in my body too much, since in the distance, the frog farm that Anne had told me about during our time alone in the tower loomed. An old place like the other houses in this town, with nothing remarkable in its appearance other than that it seemed to be built from the stump of a colossal tree, from there, the rest was history.
As soon as we entered the house, the old frog guided me to the basement where Anne had been sleeping all this time, his grandchildren were left behind, I couldn't see them, but I could feel their death stares as I walked down the stairs. Anyway, once I was downstairs I could see the room with my own eyes, and the room itself was too… Anne, so messy and cozy at the same time to be just a basement, covered in the marks of stories that I might never have seen. he would hear…the place radiated a deep familiarity that he hadn't experienced in months… it felt almost like… home?
—Sasha?
The voice of the old frog wakes me up for the second time from my silly reflections, without realizing it I had been looking at nothing for a long time.
—I'm sorry... I'm very tired...
And he buys my lie... It seems that's something I would never stop doing... he smiles slightly and points to the bed that is a few feet away from us.
—It's okay... this has been a long night... you can leave it there... and if you want...
I don't hear the rest of what he says, my brain focused on leaving Anne somewhere more comfortable than my cold back. It's a battle of a few minutes until I manage to make her let go of me, in her drowsiness she seems to look for me, but she quickly gives up when I place her body carefully on the aged mattress, she wobbles a little but never wakes up. My work is finished once Anne is lying on the bed and covered with a thin blanket, her breathing is calmer as is the look on her face, I can't help but smile seeing her so calm after everything that has happened... without more to say or do for her, I return my steps the way I came, leaving her alone in her room, free from having to deal with me anymore.
As I close the trapdoor and return both my feet and eyes to the darkness of the rest of the house, I am met by the figure of the old frog once more. Hadn't she gone to sleep? he's standing in the middle of the room with a pillow and blanket in his arms, his grandchildren behind him, the looks on their faces less friendly than the one he's trying to give me.
—Oh Sasha, I was just going to give you this —he brings the blanket and pillow closer to me... What is he doing?—The sofa is not a palace, but...
I don't understand what he's talking about, and I can tell from his smile that he can see the confusion written all over my face. What is he trying to play with me? He seems more nervous now... like... he's afraid of me...
—W-well... —he stutters—If you want to stay with Anne, I don't see why...
—No! —the pink frog and the tadpole protest—What if he kills her in her sleep?!
—Yes! I don't even understand why he's here after all he's done!
—Kids!
—But Hop!
—Is she the one-
And they start an argument of whispering cries, of which I don't plan to be a part... It's incredible that after so much silence and stares, that's the first thing they say to me... But well... that's what I've earned myself. I take advantage of they distraction to sneak out of the house, which was my plan from the beginning... I had to leave as soon as possible, I shouldn't be there, the old man is afraid of me, and his grandchildren think I could hurt them again... them and... Anne... And I... there is nothing I can say to prove otherwise... Although no... even if I no longer have those intentions, what proof do I have that it is not TRUE? I can't trust my judgment now... What if I lose my mind again and kill them all? What if I...
—Sasha waits!
The voice of the old frog brings me back to reality once again, but I do not turn to see him, or his grandchildren, however, I freeze in front of the door, waiting for whatever it is that I have to do. tell me
—Where do you think you are going? —away from you of course—You're hurt too, you need someone to see those wounds of yours, and a place where you can rest, please don't go... —I feel it approaching, the old wood of that house screeches with each of her footsteps—We had a problem yes… but that doesn't mean you're not welcome here… you are… Anne's friend after all and I don't think…
—That is, if they are still friends!
That hurt... it hurt more than all the wounds throbbing on my skin... especially since I couldn't argue with him, couldn't yell at him about how wrong he was... I...
—Sprig! Sasha... —he takes another step towards me—What I'm trying to say is that... if you just leave like that... without saying anything... Anne will be very sad... and I... I'm so sorry, but... I don't want you to hurt her any more than you already have...
And his words, although short, are too forceful to completely paralyze me... there is nothing else inside me that invades me other than anger and impotence... he's right... damn it and he is... What the hell is going on with me? I'm trying to run away from my responsibilities once again... I... I'm leaving Anne to pick up the pieces of my destruction as usual... I can't do this to her... I promised I wouldn't hurt her anymore!... But... still... I couldn't stay there... I just couldn't...
—Okay… —is what I say in response, but my movements on the door don't stop—But I won't stay here… —I look at him out of the corner of my eye and I can see that he wants to stop me again—Mister… Plantar... I think... it's better for everyone that I stay away from your house... —my feet begin to move without waiting for any response from him—I appreciate your kindness, but you don't owe me anything... I've caused enough trouble...
And with that I leave the house, they don't follow me or say anything to stop me, and that's one of the many things I can be thankful for.
However, my exhausted body only takes me a few meters away from the farm, until I finally reach my limit and collapse to the ground, leaving my body to crash next to a field crammed with vegetables that, by sheer luck ( if I can call what happened to me luck) I didn't get to crush. I can't move an inch of my body anymore… I try to fight some more… that wasn't the best place for me to go unconscious… but like everything else tonight, it was a losing battle. So, I just stop trying and stay where I belong, on the ground where vermin like me belong.
The old man's words continue to eat away at my brain, as well as his attempts to be nice to me... That was undeniable proof of what Anna had achieved here, how much she meant to these frogs... Even though I made an attempt on his life... he... he of all the others wanted to help me even against the wishes of his grandchildren, he held out his hand to prevent me from wallowing in my own filth like I am doing now... it's funny... so... so funny that I could laugh wildly... While I had to use force and lies to get close to the people of this world... Anne only had to use the words of her heart... she got a bed and warm food, people who cared for her... in just a few months, Anne had found a second home here... those frogs had been taking care of her from the dangers outside, had given her love and understanding, made her a better person... they made her love herself...
"It's over Sasha, you're not going to push me again. "
They made her part of their family... all without asking for anything in return... knowing that they would never gain anything from her kindness...
"Please, Sasha! There has to be another way! "
Why did I come close to paying them like that? Why did I come close to hurting the family that had saved my best friend's life? What kind of person does that?
"Are you seriously going to risk you live for these talking frogs? "
I should have thanked them! I should have thrown myself on the floor, kissed their fucking feet and treated them like royalty for everything they did for her!
"We don't belong here... Don't you want to go home? See your family? "
Instead, I treated them like animals... when they were more human than me! I should have refused to be part of a massacre like that!
"Yes... but... "
I-I Why don't I help them?! Why act like a fucking thug?! Why the hell did I agree to all of that?!
"Anne, what are you doing?! "
Why don't you listen to her?! Why...
"Something I should have done a long time ago, standing up to you! "
Why weren't things different?
"It's just frogs Anne! They don't matter! "
I would give anything because things would have been different...
"They're not just frogs... They're my friends! "
But... I can't... I can't change the past... I can only face what I've done... live the present that I forge myself... and accept whatever price I have to pay for it. my actions... not just because of what I did in the tower... but because of what I've done all my life... and whatever Anne decides about me... I... I will never I'll leave her alone... not this time... if she gives me the opportunity... I'll be a better person... someone who deserves it...
—For her… —is the last thing that comes out of my lips when my eyes close and I fall completely asleep, I fall into a deep sleep with nothing to really dream… just a dark void of unconsciousness… hoping that the next day things would be better.
Well folks, it's been a while, but I'm finally on vacation! So I decided to commemorate my return and the tenth story in this Oneshot section with a sequel to the first story I did here. Seriously, I really like the idea that what would have happened if Anne managed to save Sasha and not Grime, many things would have changed for sure and because of this idea she seeks to capture this "what if?" I decided to name it "Someone better" AU and I already have many things planned with him. For now, thank you very much for reading and see you in another story, we are already in October and uff, I have something very good for you, take care of yourselves.