"This is it, dudes . . . my favorite place in Gravity Falls," Soos said. "Everything I know, I learned right here. A frog taught me how to cross the street. When my house was haunted, I learned how to eat ghosts. And this thing taught me how to dance."

Soos was showing Camo, Mabel, and Stan the arcade. Camo highly doubted that Stan had never been there before, as he'd lived in Gravity Falls for at least thirty years, but whatever. Soos was definitely excited, even though most of these games looked like low-budget versions of popular ones she knew.

Anyway, they were looking at a dance machine, where Old Man McGucket was dancing around. "Whoo-hoo-hoo! Ha ha! I've been jiggin' for seven days straight!" he cackled madly. Mabel picked up the unplugged cord and looked at it.

"Uh, Soos?"

The game was out of order. Camo felt bad for the old man, and Soos must've, too, because he said, "Let him have this."

Stan, meanwhile, wandered over to a game in which you stick a coin in. That was it. Then it returned to the title screen. It was really, really funny to watch, since it was almost as good at tricking people as he was.

Camo meandered to a claw machine. She'd always been shockingly good at these, even though they were rigged almost as much as the dunk tank from the other day, and she picked out which one she wanted. It was a camouflage dinosaur plushy, and it was calling out to her. She was practically drooling at the glass, and she used a coin she'd nicked from Stan (she didn't think he'd care, she was working on her thievery skills after all) to play the game. The plushy dropped into the hole and she claimed her prize, hugging the fluffy thing.

"Your name is Colonel Forrest," she informed him, and she hugged it close to her before running to show Mabel. The younger girl would love this, though it was definitely Camo's. Like scuff she was giving away something so clearly meant for her.

On her way, she found Dipper and Wendy playing a fighting game and having a blast, at least until Robbie kicked him out. She came over to the boy and, in order to calm the bloodthirsty flames of his anger, offered to play something with him. They found a two-person shooter game and Dipper ended up shooting her and killing her even while she was trying to actually get the mission done. Either way, it was fun, especially with Colonel Forrest by her side.

Though she was pretty sure Dipper wanted to murder Robbie.

Camo was bored. Horribly, terribly bored. The Pines and Soos were playing some game while she got to watch an episode of Ducktective. She had become obsessed with the show and was currently sitting in her usual spot, upside down in the chair, though now Colonel Forrest was laying on her stomach. Loud rock music interrupted the show, and she frowned, turning up the volume. If she missed a major clue because of that—!

Oh, wait, no, she was fine. It was commercials—

Wait, what was that?

"The Ducktective casting committee is coming to Gravity Falls to cast for the new special . . . today! Come on down if you want a part in this one-of-a-kind special!"

She squealed very loudly, much to the annoyance of literally everyone else. She ran into the main room, where everyone had been playing, and very quickly said, "I'mgoingintotownnowseeyouguyslaterit'sveryurgentIreallyhavetogo!" She was still clutching her dinosaur plushy because, come on. What kind of owner would she be if she forgot him? She ran out of the Shack and on the path back to the town proper, very excited.

She pulled out her phone—she didn't use it very often due to it being old, and the fact that she only ever read on her phones anyway—and called Jason. She nearly tripped on a root as it was dialing, but thankfully she didn't. "Hello?" her friend asked over the phone.

"Jason! Did you see the ad?!" she asked excitedly, puffing for breath but not stopping.

"Which . . . oh, the Ducktective one? Yeah!" he replied. "What, are you auditioning?"

"Hopefully!" She had to stop, oh, running and talking at the same time was a bad idea. "But I can't wear this! Do you have anything on par with the theme?"

He took a moment to respond, and she could hear him moving around on the other side. "Uh, yeah. Some of my cosplay stuff should work."

She was so excited about the casting that she didn't register that he cosplayed characters from Ducktective.

"But my dad isn't usually very stoked about people wearing clothes from the shop," he admitted.

"I took really good care of the Pioneer Day stuff!"

He hummed. "Yeah, and I made these! All right, come over to my house and we'll try some stuff out. It doesn't start until 2:00, right? That gives us plenty of time to prepare!"

"Gotcha!"

She hung up and, briefly stopping to catch her breath, continued on with renewed vigor. Her energy meant that it only took twenty minutes for her to reach town, but it was another fifteen to get to his house. She should've taken Mabel's bike. It would've made everything a lot easier. Though, she supposed that all the running was helping to keep her in shape, and a fit person would have a higher chance of landing the role . . . !

She showed up at his house. She'd only been there once before, and she was still shocked. Right, he was pretty rich. She knocked on the door, out of breath and panting. His mom answered it, a pretty woman with dark skin. "Why, hello! You must be Camo! Jay's been expecting you, come on in!" She smiled and walked in to the nice room. His house was big. "Jay! Your friend's here!" the woman called out, and she could hear thumping of feet coming down stairs.

Jason whirled around a corner and looked at her, his hair and clothes disheveled and excitement filling his eyes. "Camo! Come on, I've got some options set up!"

With a wave to his mother, she followed her surprisingly energetic friend. Usually, he was a lot more shy and uncomfortable, but she supposed because it was Ducktective, her, and clothes that they were talking about, all three things he was pretty comfortable with, he dropped that in favor of the topic at hand. "All right, this is what we got," he said, showing her the various clothes he had laid on his bed. "And I've been watching Ducktective for more information on the role. I'm pretty sure that the one you're most likely to get will be the intern spot."

"Intern?" Her eyes sparkled with interest. (Huh. Intern. Interest. Intern-est . . . yeah, she was glad she hadn't made that joke.)

"Well, it's more like an apprentice, really. The human apprentice of Ducktective." He gestured to the various outfits. "So, I was thinking this one, but this one seems a little more up your alley . . ."

Half an hour later, she stood in front of a mirror and grinned at herself. With the jacket, the lapel, and the dress shirt, she was pretty on-theme, but the hat just . . . perfected the look. Maybe it wasn't what they planned on her wearing if she got the part, but it showed that she'd put thought into this and really, really liked Ducktective, despite only really watching it for three weeks. But they didn't need to know that.

"I think I look rather dashing," she said with a pretty good British accent. Jason nodded, though whether it was to the comment or the accent she spoke it with, she wasn't sure. "I could probably land the role from this outfit alone."

"Hmm . . . I'm not so sure. How about you show me what you got, acting-wise."

It was her turn to nod, and she thought for a second. Apprentice to Ducktective . . . hmm . . . she assumed a role, with her accent, of course. "But, sir! The evidence just doesn't make any sense! How am I supposed to solve this case without you? You're the Ducktective, for Pete's sake! I don't stand a chance out there."

Jason nodded. They were doing a lot of nodding today. "Pretty good, pretty good. I think you got a decent shot at it, honestly."

"Well, I definitely needed your help. You've been a Ducktective fan much longer than I have," she said with a smile. "This is my big chance!"

"Let's do this, I guess."

"This was a bad idea," Jason said, but Camo caught him by the collar and spun him around. Thank goodness he'd changed his shirt into one with a collar, because otherwise she'd have nothing to grab.

"Nope. I'm not wearing your awesome outfit without you being here. Plus," she added, looking around, "there's gotta be a reason why they came to Gravity Falls, of all places, for casting. There's much better spots than here."

He looked . . . not quite concerned? Maybe scared? No, not that, either. "Fine. I'm staying, but only because of the outfit," he sighed. She cheered and looked at the crowd.

There weren't very many familiar faces, though that also meant no Pacifica, which was a good thing, since she'd buy her way on. There were a couple adults, but the majority were kids her age, or maybe even older. Some people got dismissed on sight, like this one kid who only spoke Japanese (poor guy . . . wait, did it count as 'on sight' dismissal if it was something you had to hear?), but the rest had to be brought in. She was handed a script near the beginning for the apprentice scene she was preparing for, and she'd been anxiously reading it.

It was good, and she could see and hear other people practicing. All of a sudden, she wasn't so confident. These people were so good! How was she supposed to stand a chance? But Jason was there, and he'd helped her so long, so she couldn't just give up. She already had it memorized (thanks, quick reading skills!) and was reciting it to her friend and building the character behind the scene.

"All right, you." One of the people organizing the thing pointed at her, and she hid her nerves. She could do this. Hide behind the character. She waved goodbye to Jason and nervously stepped in, though she projected confidence and calmness as best she could.

It seemed to convince the people who would be watching. They looked impressed from the moment she came on, cool and comfortable and dressed for success. Their eyes only widened more when she set the booklet down. "You've already memorized it?" one of them asked incredulously.

"Yeah. I was waiting for a while," she responded. She hesitantly stepped up onto an X put on the floor with tape. "Do I just . . . ?"

"Start when you're ready," they confirmed.

She took in a deep breath and started, trying not to think about what was on the line. "Ducktective, sir, you must be mistaken. I—I can't do this. I'm just an apprentice, and you're . . ." She pretended to hold back tears. "How am I supposed to do this without you? I don't . . . I can't understand what you do. I can't do it. Not without you."

It looked like she had the judges' rapt attention, so she continued on.

"But, I'll do the only thing I know how to. Break down the case. Mr. Harrison's jewels—"

She was cut off, very suddenly, as somebody swung open the door. "We have an issue," the man said. He was the one who had ushered her in.

One of the judges angrily cried, "Can't you see we're in the middle of something here? This lovely lady was—"

"Ma'am, it's about your friend," the man continued on, looking straight at Camo, and her eyes widened. She opened her mouth to ask but he said, "He just passed out."

"Oh, cut all your tomfoolery," said a different judge, a woman who sounded actually British. "We are in the middle of an audition, and we don't need any of your nonsense." She looked at Camo expectantly. "You may resume."

Camo was torn. Here was the chance to get a large role on a show she loved, that she'd prepared for. But . . . it wouldn't be worth it if she knew Jason was in trouble. He was her friend, her best friend, to be honest, and if he was in danger, it didn't matter what was on the line. She wasn't going to leave him to fend for himself.

Scuff, her thoughts were cringe-y and heroic-y, just like she'd always feared they'd become.

"No," she said defiantly. "My friend is in trouble. I need to help him."

She set down the hat, that gorgeous hat, on the table and walked out the door, much to the shock of the judges. The man at the door said, "Uh, witnesses report that it looked like he inhaled glitter and it caused him to pass out." He looked very uncomfortable. "I am not paid enough for this."

She ran to her friend's aid. He was lying prone on the floor, glitter coming out of his mouth. She shook him, and a little more glitter came out. She had an idea.

"Sorry, this'll probably hurt," she said apologetically, and then she rammed her elbow into his chest.

He came awake all at once in an explosion of glitter, which coated all the scared watchers. His eyes fluttered awake, much like some Disney princess, and he looked at her, confused. "Camo? But . . . the audition . . ."

"You're my friend," she said simply. "You come first."

She picked him up, bridal style, and he wrapped his arms around her neck at the sudden movement. He then looked around and flushed when he saw everyone was looking at them. "So . . . I know we spent over an hour preparing for this, but . . . I don't think I'm going to do it."

He shrugged. "Okay."

"Okay. Um . . . how about we'll go back to your house, and I'll get back my normal clothes, and then we'll get situated from there?"

"Sounds like a plan. . . though I don't think your usual stuff counts as 'normal'."

"Sorry I forgot the hat there," she apologized, but he shrugged it off.

"Nah, it's fine. I have half a billion of 'em. But, uh . . ." He rubbed the back of his neck. "It was fun today, even if I almost had death by glitter."

She laughed at the memory, but she sobered up quickly. "How'd that happen, anyway?" she asked, and he went red.

He stumbled for words. "Mabel made me a, uh, present, a-and when I opened it, it launched far too much glitter in my face, just as I was breathing in."

"Oh, I'll be murdering her later," Camo said cheerfully. "Well, buh-bye. I'm headed back to the Shack to kill a child."

Jason waved goodbye as well, looking very confused.

Camo walked through town, pondering over her day. She auditioned for a part in Ducktective, but got cut off because Mabel tried to kill her friend, and . . . actually, what was everybody else doing? At this point, she knew for sure that they were doing something, because the twins were the Mystery Twins and wherever they went, trouble followed. She should probably find . . .

Was that a living video game character?!

Robbie V. was being chased by Rumble McSkirmish, Dipper's favorite character from Fight Fighters, who was being tailed very loosely by Dipper. Also, everything was on fire/broken. Camo rose to a sprint and chased after the preteen boy, screaming "WHAT THE SCUFF DID YOU DO?!"

"I may have brought a video game character to life to fight Robbie for me, but now he's trying to kill him!" he admitted. Scuff, the kid was out of breath. Soos rolled up in a pickup truck, and he said, "Soos! Where have you been?!"

"Uh, long story, man," the handyman replied. He had a videogame cover around his neck, for some reason. "Dude, did you see that video game guy destroying everything in sight?"

"Uh, yeah, sure did," Camo deadpanned.

"Yeah, I-I kinda sorta brought him to life to be my bodyguard," Dipper said guiltily. "But now I have to stop him before he kills Robbie!"

"Would you quit your yammering and get in the car?" she snapped, having already climbed in the backseat. "He's getting away with every second you explain yourself!"

Dipper nodded abruptly and jumped in the car. They drove off, pursuing Rumble pursuing Robbie, until they reached the water tower. The two kids clambered out of the truck and ran after Rumble, who was looking up at Robbie and saying, "You can hide, but you cannot hide!"

"Rumble! This has to stop!" Dipper yelped. "Please, listen to me!"

But it was to no avail. The video game character kicked the water tower, making it shake. Robbie and . . . was that Mabel and Stan up there? Anyway, they screamed bloody murder, and she couldn't say she blamed them. Robbie fell down and landed in the hand of Rumble. She ran in front of the 8-bit warrior and screamed, "Stop it! Stop it right now, you oversimplified caricature of a hero! I have prepared for an audition, turned down said audition, and saved my friend from death by glitter today, so I will not have you kill an innocent!"

"But he is not an innocent! He killed this boy's father!"

"No, he didn't!" both Dipper and Camo shrieked.

The action hero looked shocked, and Dipper stepped forward. "Rumble," he said, "I have something to tell you. Robbie . . . Robbie didn't kill my father."

Rumble gasped and asked, "Then who did?"

"What? No one did," the preteen replied, confused. "I-I lied to you."

Another gasp. "Then you're actually a . . . bad guy!"

"I guess I kinda am."

Camo slung her arm around the sullen boy's shoulder comfortingly. However, the effect was kind of ruined as Rumble went into a dramatic cutscene of self-reflection and stuff, then challenged him to fight. "You know, I can help you. I already saved one friend's life today," she commented, which did earn her an odd look, which was . . . fair.

"I have to do it alone. I started all this, and I've got to at least try to stop it on my own."

She patted him on the shoulder. "Guess we're both Gryffindorks today." She backed away as Dipper pressed the 'start' button. "This should be entertaining."

And entertaining it was. HP bars began to float over their heads (ha, HP bars, she was Camo HP) and Dipper tried to copy Rumble's video game pose, which looked really dumb. Rumble easily beat the snot out of her friend and trash-talked in a really funny way. Dipper barely managed to shave off a toenail clipping of his favorite character. The preteen ran away while Soos tried to screw with the health bar.

Camo, meanwhile, decided to be a hero in a much more dramatic way than she had before, chasing after her friend, and even though it was hard to keep up, all she had to do was follow the trail of burning trees. She found Dipper hiding in a tree while Rumble tried to look up, but always ended up failing because of the lack of a looking-up animation. He fell onto the ground, and she decided to hop in. She grabbed a random tree branch and started to smack the character, managing to take his health a little further down before . . .

Well, before the fists started falling from the sky. She yelped and dove for cover under a tree while both Dipper and Soos got pummeled with 8-bit fists. Dipper ended up with a tiny fraction of health left, which Rumble easily took out with a super-power-ninja-turbo-neo-ultra-hyper-mega-multi-alpha-meta-extra-uber-prefix combo. The boy was left a bruised and broken lump which used the classic loss catchphrase: "You, sir, truly are the champion of champions."

Of course, then he pixelated and disappeared, as the game was over. She went to help out her friend, who put DIP as the username. "Well, I'm going to head back to the Shack. I have no need nor want to talk to him." She jabbed her thumb at Robbie, who had fallen in a bush. "Ciao!"

"Bye, Camo! Thanks for help with the video game!"

She waved goodbye, and then realized she wasn't actually heading to the Shack just yet.

She'd left Colonel Forrest as Jason's!