I spent the rest of the morning contemplating my first encounter with the Third Child and just lounging around the house, finding out some stuff.
I eventually got reminded that I hadn't showered in nearly a week and probably more than that, and upon checking I did indeed smell gross. There were probably showering facilities in Nerv, but I'd rather not take the chance to be peeped on by security cameras. Because Nerv was absolutely the kind of organization to do that.
So I opted for the hot bath.
I really shouldn't have been surprised that right as I striped down to my birthday suit, a penguin popped up in my peripheral vision. Thankfully, mine was more of a small jump than the pants-shitting terror and confusion both Shinji and Asuka went through. But that penguin really had something wrong with him.
"Do you just get off on watching kids naked?" I grumbled with no small amount of annoyance in my voice.
The bird just looked at me, squinted, then disappeared out of the room.
"Weirdo."
Potentially pedophiliac genetically engineered water fowl aside, striping down gave me a chance to finally look at my body in detail. And unlike my face, the differences in development were staggering. Still, I guess that's just what happened when you shaved off several years of puberty and training. Losing most of my muscle mass was not exactly an optimum outcome but still...
At least I'm not fat.
One hot bath later, I went to my room in order to dress up, and in the meanwhile find out a bit more about the mental rather than physical aspect of this Kano Akashi.
There were four boxes I'd failed to notice the night before. I picked each one up and sat them on my bed.
The first and second boxes contained just clothes and footwear, and rather plain ones at that. Fine by me, I wasn't particularly looking to doll myself up. I thought I might as well not stay around in just a bathrobe and put on a red shirt with black shorts and black socks.
The third box contained a bunch of books, mostly of the science-fiction variety, like the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Starship Troopers and to my pleasant surprise, Jules Verne.
The fourth box contained several DVDs of various movies, mostly also of the science fiction variety, along with several anime I didn't recognize. And Dragon Ball. Overall, absolutely nothing concrete at all was discovered about Kano's character.
It was really kind of jarring and unsettling how much I didn't know about the guy. Hell, his entire persona seemed to be a complete blank slate before I'd taken it over. I really should've been more concerned about how exactly no one at Nerv was suspicious about what should logically have been a complete shift in character.
Even more so when you considered that by most assumptions, Gendo at the very least had a pretty good general idea of all the kids' emotional states. And also how to exploit them all to achieve his goals.
Though, I was in the same situation where knowledge of Japanese was directly implanted into my brain, and also, oh yeah, taking over an entire other person's soul and mind, so really, who was I to judge for suspiciously convenient inconsistencies?
There really wasn't all that much to do but laze around after that. Time either was spent mostly deep in thought, or was just being wasted with rather useless tasks. Up until the test at least, I could just take things at snail's pace and relax. Safe to say, I was not prepared for the veritable zombie that popped up from the main bedroom of the house.
Misato truly did need a beer or two to look any decent. How that woman's body coped with so much stress was anyone's guess, but safe to say I didn't think I wanted to know what she'd look like as she got older, even with animated perpetual beauty syndrome.
"AAAAAAAAWWWW YEAH, THAT'S WHAT MOMMA LIKES!"
Obligatory "alcohol bad" comment in 3,2,1...
"Isn't it a bit too early to be drinking Misato? It's only 11 AM."
"Hmpf, as if I'd take advice from a kid when to do that."
By your own stupid laws I am legally allowed to do things like have sex, even in this deaged body. Double standard much?
"Fine, but when your liver is gone in like ten years, you'll have nobody to cry about it to but yourself."
"As if a little booze is gonna kill me. Please kiddo, I'm made of sterner stuff than that," she said, patting her belly for emphasis.
No shit.
I kinda shut my mouth after being reminded of her surviving a literal god exploding on top of her, but it was nice at least to see some more of her usual personality shine through, when compared to yesterday.
"So, are you taking me to Nerv?"
"Ah no, sorry. Section 2 will come by to pick you up later. I gotta be at Nerv by twelve, sharp."
Right...because that went so well last time.
Nothing could quite describe the scale of an Evangelion.
It was one thing seeing it in media, in comparison to other buildings, even from the perspective of a normal human in some instances. But nothing except witnessing the real thing in flesh and metal could quite display the sheer enormity of it all.
The closest equivalent I could think of was observing a whale with a nearby diver. How the diver was absolutely dwarfed by something that was essentially a living submarine. Yet, an Eva was far, far huger than that.
Unit 01's head took up a good chunk of the entirety of the cavernous room. But I knew there was a body that stretched downward even further, far far further. With one mere motion the Eva could take so much human life it would be unthinkable.
If it wasn't for it's power problems, entire countries could be brought to their knees in a matter of hours by it. Nukes couldn't scratch it. Supersonic jets would be left in the dust in a full blown race. And that was before even getting into what it's AT Field could do.
It truly was like staring into the face of a god. A veritable war deity of terror and violence. Unit 01's face plate couldn't have been a mistake. It was a ceratopsian warmask of barely concealed hatred and bloodlust, dulled only by it's bolted-shut jaws and lifeless eyes.
Trying to ignore the monster lurking just beneath the machine I would soon ride in, I was glad the eyes at least were shut down. If Unit 01 started doing freaky shit like turning itself on as it pleased and moving around without even the Entry Plug inserted, I was pretty sure I'd have my first ever bowel evacuation.
Though that stuff is probably restricted to her son being in danger. Probably. I hope.
Besides moments of extreme stress on it's pilot, Unit 01 was a rather temperate Eva, at least in comparison to Unit 00, which seemed to go berserk whenever it pleased, even if it had only done it twice. Riding in it this one time should most likely be fine. At any rate, I was glad that any Production Model Evangelion never went berserk, or at least not fully berserk.
That is, if Eva 05 even IS a Production Model. It could be as much of a misshapen monstrosity as the Rebuild version and twice as unstable as all grumpy Evangelions combined for all I know.
I sighed. I'd have to cross that bridge when I got there. As it was, I could probably handle Unit 01. Probably.
"I see you have a habit of zoning out when you think no one is looking, Mr. Akashi."
I jumped somewhat, only to see the faux blonde head of Project E behind me, a cigarette in her hand. She had talked to me, but it seemed she too was entranced by the creature before her.
"Doctor Akagi," I greeted curtly.
And you seem to have a habit of interrupting me. Trying to save the world here. And your sorry ass from being shot.
We stared in silence for some time at the Eva, though I would be lying if I said it wasn't at least somewhat uncomfortable. I became very aware of the skintight plugsuit. It was one of Shinji's spares modified and reconfigured to fit my frame, though it was clearly not made for me. The itchiness and awkwardness told me as much.
"Having second thoughts?" she said, finally turning to me. I could only smile sadly and sigh.
Like you wouldn't believe.
"No point now, is there? Having come this far and all."
"Hmm...fair enough," she said, as she turned around towards the control room. "Just try to keep your mind as empty as possible for the duration of the test."
"Wait," I had something that had been bugging me ever since I learned which Eva I was going to attempt to pilot. "Isn't this Shinji's Eva? Why am I trying to sync with it?"
"Having spare pilots is necessary, Mr. Akashi. Should the Third Child ever be incapacitated, killed or removed from duty we will need others to take his place. An important part of selecting such potential replacements is to judge compatibility," she took a long huff of her cigarette, ignoring altogether the effect all of those scenarios had had on me. "You are practically useless until Unit 05 arrives here. We might as well check your potential as an auxiliary, with these tests in Unit 01 and 00."
And it couldn't by any means have anything to do with a little thing called the Dummy Plug could it?...Also, HEY WAIT A MINUTE!
"Unit 00?"
"Yes. You're performing two synchronization tests today I'm afraid. It gives us an opportunity to gather more data at once."
"Isn't that the Eva that went insane and nearly killed it's pilot in it's first ever activation test?"
"And how would you know that?" Ritsuko said, cocking an eyebrow.
I prided myself on keeping a good poker face, though internally I was screaming.
Alright, THINK.
"I...uh, overheard the staff chatting about it."
That would have to do. Ritsuko didn't look exactly satisfied but at least she didn't suspect anything beyond that, sighing. I seriously needed to watch my tongue. One bad slip could easily land me in isolation where I'd probably be interrogated and tortured for having information I shouldn't.
At the very least, Nerv seemed like that kind of place.
"Unit 00...is temperamental. However, we are confident it was a glitch. It's part and parcel of it's nature as a prototype, and that that glitch has been resolved. You'll be just fine Mr. Akashi."
Yeah, sure. A glitch. Or the soul of your late mother throwing a rage fit over both people responsible for her death being in the same room as her. Or a little unstable clone girl that can't handle being one with her whole again.
"I guess. And please just call me Kano."
But Ritsuko was already moving away. I didn't know if she had heard me. But really, it was fair that she was hurrying along. It was almost time.
I stared back at Unit 01 one last time. Like it or not, there was no turning back from this.
"Inserting entry plug."
The sensation of slow acceleration overcame me for a moment, before coming to an abrupt halt. The world spun around me after that, gravity shifting, or rather me shifting in defiance of it before ending upright again.
"Plug fixed in place. Connecting Unit 01."
A dazzling array of colors passed before my eyes, before settling on a more neutral one.
"Filling entry plug."
Now came the part that would be a bitch. I didn't exactly remember well how blood smelled like. After all, I'd never been exposed to it so much for it to be burned into my memory. But what hit me was certainly unpleasant and became even more so when it reached past my neck and survival instincts kicked in.
Just breathe it just breathe it just breathe it just breathe it-
That was easier said than done. Every primordial warning sign drilled into my brain was screaming at me not to inhale the liquid.
"Kano, just breathe in. After the LCL enters your lungs, your blood will be oxygenated directly."
I'd heard that damn line so many times it had become genuinely annoying. As if a scientific tidbit was supposed to take away from the sensation of literally drowning. It was equivalent of popping a gun near someone's face, and then calmly trying to explain why the gun wouldn't fire.
I opened my mouth to yell at her that I knew about the damn oxygen, just to be overcome by the irony taste. Now the blood comparison was clear as day, albeit instead of leaving a bit of stingy taste in my mouth, it completely overwhelmed my taste buds. The liquid quickly traveled down to my lungs, hacking and coughing fits followed, but just as said, I wasn't dying, so there was that at least.
"Connecting main power. All circuits transmitting. Initiating secondary connections."
The world quickly became an array of blinding colors once more.
"A-10 nerve connection, nominal. Configure the language logic interface for Japanese."
The colors fizzled away, and suddenly the control room in front of me was visible from the Evangelion's perspective. There was some pressure, and the distinct feeling of wearing a comfortable but heavy garment. Otherwise however, the Eva really seemed...distant. And cold.
I guess I'm just not built for it. Or rather, it's not built for me.
"All preliminary contacts established. Performance nominal. Bi-directional circuits are open."
"Synchronization rate holding at 12.4%," Ristuko's voice came over now. The rest of the speakers must have been either Maya or other techs around the room. Though I could only focus on one thing at the time.
...Really? That low?
Then again, it was an Eva never intended for me, possessing a soul that wasn't supposed to be compatible with me, and it was my first time ever stepping foot in one, so...
I guess it was counting small blessings that my score wasn't outright zero.
"That's very good Kano. It's not combat worthy, but with training you definitely have room for improvement."
Well, that was the first thing the good doctor had told me today that didn't make me some shade of nervous.
"Harmonics are all normal. No disturbances detected."
After that, the radio simply fell silent for some time. I didn't count the minutes but after what felt like a while I was just compelled to ping them, even though I knew what was happening.
"Hey uh, Doctor Akagi. Am I supposed to, uh, do anything?"
"Not really Kano. As I said, you just have to sit in there and wait until we gather all the data we need."
"And...how long will that be?"
"Three hours give or take."
"...Swell."
Knowing that I'd have to spend a ludicrously long time in here didn't really make it any better. But it wasn't like I could protest it, as I slumped in my seat.
I certainly wouldn't keep my mind empty. I just, couldn't. Not with Unit 00 coming up next.
Technically I was going to be it's first successful activation test...if I were to succeed and not get nearly killed like Rei was. Of course, I didn't have the benefit of Angelic regeneration or extra backup bodies, so all the ways the test could go horribly wrong kept me company for the remainder of the ride and probably stressed out Ritsuko somewhat.
I hoped the small part of me that was giddy for riding the actual, in flesh and bones Evangelions, was enjoying itself as much as possible.