"Wait, so what do you want me to do?" Camo asked, holding the camera and pointing it at Dipper. She had no clue how to film properly, so she wasn't sure why he asked her to do it.

"Just make sure it's on and follow my movements. You're only doing this because Mabel tried to record under her bandage one too many times," Dipper answered.

That did sound like her. "Gotcha," she said, as confirmation, and gave him a thumbs-up to reinforce it. "Okay, rolling."

"Hello, I'm Dipper Pines," he started with his intro. "The girl holding the camera to help me is Camo."

"I'm helping," she added, and Dipper gave her an odd look that she didn't understand.

He cleared his throat. "Yeah. Right. Uh, today on Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained, we investigate anomaly #23: "Grunkle Stan's secret tattoo." He lifted up a piece of cardboard which he had written the information on, in rather messy handwriting (his. It was clearly his. She had much better handwriting than that chicken scratch.) She zoomed onto the board rather roughly, as he'd told her to do, and focused on the various photos taped onto it. In every one of them, the tattoo was mostly hidden from sight, and it was blue, which was weird. There was also a sheet from the library that he'd ripped out with various symbols.

"What is he hiding?" Dipper asked. "A college prank? Secret symbol? Or something stranger? Stan claims it doesn't exist. But today we're gonna find out."

Camo hummed. "Okay, and you don't think maybe he's keeping it secret for a reason?" she asked him. Stan was usually pretty forthright with them, right? He didn't keep his crime life secret in the slightest, that's for sure.

"Nah, that can't be it."

They went down to the thermostat. Because Mabel still hadn't promised to behave, Camo was still doing her shoddy camerawork. "Okay, here's the plan," Dipper said. "Stan never takes off his undershirt . . ." He ran up to the camera. "Obviously to hide his tattoo."

"Wouldn't me zooming in on your face be easier . . . ?"

"Shut up, we're filming. Anyway, me and Soos are about to . . . 'turn up the heat' on this mystery," Dipper said with air quotes before turning up the heat on the thermostat. Soos chuckled at the joke.

Camo got bored and zoomed in on Dipper and imagined hearts surrounding him. "Look at him, women! Don't you see how . . . hot he is? Detectives just make me sweat with—"

"Camo!"

Now, the camera was hidden and no one got to hold it. She was pretty sure Dipper was regretting his decision to let her by cameraman. She was born for acting, anyway. Well, the next phase of the plan wasn't going too well. Soos was supposed to convince Stan to take his shirt off to work, but it came off more creepy than anything. Then he started singing with his belly, so Dipper rushed in to grab the camera.

Now Dipper was holding it, because evidently he didn't trust Camo to do it, which was fair. "Okay, Plan B," he said. "Heavens! Is that poison oak on your shoulder? Let me scratch it for you." His voice was so monotonous. She would be able to do it much better than that.

Sure enough, Stan slapped his hand away. "Kid, if you're trying to see my tattoo, you're going to have to try harder than that."

"Aha! I thought you said you didn't have a tattoo!" Dipper said triumphantly.

"I don't," Stan replied. He pulled out a marker. "But you do." Camo laughed loudly as Stan came in on his face and wrote something. He was a really bad guardian, writing on his nephew's face. Dipper shrieked loudly.

When they started recording next, Camo got to hold the camera as Dipper looked at it. He had the word GOOBER written just under his big dipper birthmark in red marker. "Okay, Plan C. Stan is in the shower. I wish it hadn't come to this, but sometimes you have to do terrible things for science."

"Does a tattoo count as science?" Camo wondered aloud.

Mabel, meanwhile, said, "I believe in you, Goober."

"Dipper. Just say Dipper."

He grabbed the camera from her, and she waved goodbye. "Well, we're probably not seeing him again," she cheerfully told his twin. "Don't you have a camera, too? I've got my own idea."

Sure enough, Dipper came running out of the bathroom, closely followed by a fully-clothed and very wet Stan screaming for the camera.

Camo found Mabel's camera and hid it in the living room. She didn't get to anything until the day after, when everyone had calmed down about the tattoo. Stan was watching TV, and the two of them would be the only ones there. "Stan?" she asked. "So, I know you're adamant about us not seeing your tattoo, but where did you get it? Why do you have it?"

He sighed. "Did Dipper put you up to this?"

She shook her head.

"I still can't tell you. I'm sorry, but you're not ready to understand."

She nodded. "Okay. I'm not going to grill you, because I'm not Dipper, you got it?" She walked behind him and retrieved the hidden camera. "Okay, this is Camo, finishing this episode of Guide to the Unexplained, for the second time, since it can't really be called Dipper's if I'm the one doing it. Listen, Dipper, next time, try asking people first." She zoomed in and out of her face before cutting the recording to emphasize that last bit.

She looked at Stan, and Stan looked at her. "You were planning to record that conversation?" he asked, surprised.

"Well, yeah, why did you think I was asking?"

"You said Dipper didn't put you up to it!"

"He didn't. This was my decision."

Now she was the one getting chased around the house.

"So, you want me in your show, too?" Camo asked Mabel with an eyebrow raised.

"Yeah!" she said excitedly. "Mabel's Guide to Dating. You have lots of great ideas, so I figured you could help out!"

Camo raised an eyebrow but replied, "Okay, sure."

"So far, I've planned out an intro, a 9,000 question dating quiz with Dipper, Stan, and Soos, getting animals to love each other while they take the test, and the outro. What else could it need?"

She hummed. "Maybe the opinions of girls? Dating is based off of opinions, so if you get some gals in here to say what they think about the candidates, that could add some credibility to your show."

Mabel gasped with stars in her eyes. "Camo, you genius!"

"Yeah, I know."

While the boys took the test, Grenda and Candy came over to say their opinions on the boys. Camo got to do it too, since she came up with the idea and was . . . different enough. "So, girls," Mabel said. "Rate our candidates on their date ability!" The preteen showed them a poster with the pictures of the three candidates.

Grenda said, "Eh, too old" to Stan, "Too sweaty" to Dipper (with a grimace, no less), and "Maybe" to Soos.

Candy said, "No thank you!" to Stan, "Possibly, possibly" to Dipper, and "Yes" to Soos, albeit a little hesitantly.

Camo actually took it seriously and said, "Not my type, but maybe someone would disagree. He's got charisma when he chooses to use it" to Stan, "Pretty smart, but socially inept. Also, a little preoccupied with his current crush" to Dipper, and ". . . Soos. He's Soos. I don't know what else to say" about, well, Soos.

When it came to ranking, on a scale of one to five, Stan got a three, Dipper got a negative one (how? how does he scuff that much?), and Soos got a twelve. Well, that could explain how Dipper got so low a score. It was rigged for the funnies.

Also, Mabel mutilated a couple of squirrels with a rhino plushie.

Camo wouldn't be doing this again anytime soon.

"Welcome back to Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained, now renamed Gravity Falls' Guide to the Unexplained." Yes, she was doing this again. It was so much better than Mabel's nonsense show, plus, she got to be cameraman. It was really fun being cameraman, especially when she could zoom in and out of his face without him noticing. "Anomaly #54: The Mailbox."

She spun the camera around to face it, sticking it on a log so that both of them could walk over and investigate. "There it is, in the middle of the forest," Dipper continued. "No house. No address. Today, me and my team of experts . . ." Soos walked on, and Camo was standing right there. Both of them were wearing lab coats, but for very different reasons. ". . . are gonna put a letter in and see who picks it up."

Soos pulled out the letter in question, a sheet of folded up notebook paper. "My latter posits a salient question: 'Sup dawg?" He stuck it in the mailbox, and all of them backed up.

"Now we're gonna hide behind a bush, and wait for someone to come by." Dipper didn't seem to notice the mailbox's shaking until he was done talking. She realized he was controlling the camera. Her entire career had been a lie. Anyway, the mailbox shook violently, and the little flag slowly lifted up. Then, it was just done.

"Did you see that?" Soos asked in wonder.

"Well, yeah, I'm right here," Camo replied irritably.

Dipper ran over, leaving the camera on the log. He whispered, "Open it."

"No, you open it, dude. I'm not touching a ghost mailbox" was the handyman's reply.

"Since you're both cowards, I'll open it," Camo said stiffly, opening it without any qualms whatsoever and unceremoniously sticking her hand in the mailbox. She pulled out a letter very different from the one they'd put in. "Okay. This letter reads, 'Hello Dipper, Camo, and Soos.' Huh. Well, that's spooky."

"It knows our names!" Dipper whisper-hissed worriedly.

"What if this thing's all-knowing?"

"We gotta test it."

Then came the random list of questions. What did Soos shave into his head that morning? A baby duck holding a paddle ball. When is the end of the world? 3012. Who's Soos's dream woman? That one was answered with a drawing of a muscular lady in a patriotic bikini. She was going to put in, 'What chaos am I supposed to stop?', but a random bird came out of the sky and stole it, which rather felt like the universe was conspiring against her. She was in the process of rewriting it when Mabel showed up—

"Nifty, a mailbox! I've been wanting to mail Mom this video of me sticking 100 gummy worms up my nose!" The preteen happily shoved it in the mailbox, and promptly lost them all their privileges to knowledge. Camo did vaguely remember a video of somebody doing that exact hobby, only it was a thousand. Actually, the lady in the video looked kind of like Mabel. Did she make that video in the future . . . ?

Also, the mailbox imploded in blue light, so there's that, too. It exploded everyone else, but Camo wasn't an idiot. She managed to run as fast as humanly possible away from it, and her clothes weren't even singed.

Ha, ha, suckers!

Shorter one this time, mostly just fluff lol.

Also, since I only found this out recently, the Disney+ GF shorts are not just snippets of the show, but genuine shorts that are hilarious. Highly recommend you check them out if you are like me and were very confused reading this chapter.