Clack-clack, clack-clack, clack-clack...
I'd become familiar with that sound by now. But why was it still so uncomfortable?
My hands...they felt stiff. Which reminded me I could actually move them. I stared down at them, realizing this had been the first time in a long time I'd observed any part of myself.
They were strange, foreign...no wait, that wasn't it. They weren't strange because of that, they were because of the familiarity of it all, almost like...
The train car came to a halt once more, and it's doors opened like they always did.
A man stepped through the opened doors, of average height and average build. Grey locks dominated his hair, almost drowning out the natural blonde entirely, though from his face he did not appear to be all that old.
His eyes were a piercing green and his clothing was a sky blue uniform of some sort, speaking to a profession of some industrial or scientific capacity. He nodded curly to the other two figures in the car, but paid little mind to their small talk otherwise, and like the others ignored the last two entirely.
As he sat, I could only think about the coming of a mighty storm.
"Morning."
"Su-ahhhhhhhaaaa," I yawned. "Sup."
"You don't look too good."
"Fuckin' tired man," I said, plonking down on the chair to a very basic breakfast.
"Sorry."
"Stop bloody apologizing will ya? It isn't your fault, now is it? I've just been sleeping like shit lately."
Watching the the penguin swallowing his fish reminded me of something as I chowed down my own meal.
"Is Misato-"
I was answered by a veritable zombie shuffling into our view from her own room.
"Uuuuugh, morning."
"Good morning," we chanted in unison.
The beer was gotten, raised to her lips, and immediately an explosion of good cheer and energy enveloped us. It really was a wonder how the woman's physiology worked.
Several hours later, I was stuck being busy dying as the lecture went on and on. At the first sound of the bell, I praised the gods of laziness for my salvation.
"Fucking finally," I exhaled, as I slumped on my desk.
"Jeez what's gotten into you today?" Kensuke piped up. "You've been complaining non-stop."
"I've come to the realization that school sucks."
"Yeah, and in other news, water is wet," Toji chimed in.
"Yah yah I get it, but I'll tell you this much, in comparison to other places this Japanese system is really goddamn annoying."
Shinji remained mostly quiet as we engaged in small talk, up until the distinct roar of an engine and the near collision of a car drifting into it's parking slot was heard, alarming apparently the entire school to the arrival of our guardian.
Well let it never be said that she doesn't have a penchant for theatrics.
I got close to the window for no other reason than the fact that staying close to my desk was probably going to come off a bit strange considering I'd probably want to check out the maniac driver.
"Man, Misato is so gorgeous."
"And totally out of your league," I commented.
They both turned to me with a look of contempt.
"Oh look who's talking," Kensuke said.
"Yeah, both of you live with her and you're not even taking advantage of it," Toji accused.
"Cause she's 29. That's creepy, even without taking into account she's our guardian."
"Pah, you really gotta get a sense of perspective Kano," Kensuke scolded.
"Yeah, older women are better anyway. They're more experienced and developed and shit," Toji continued, swiping his nose as if to reaffirm his point.
"I get that, but she's like, twice as old. Are you gonna be hitting on middle-aged women when you're in your 20s?"
Assuming you make it that far. Which given the circumstances...yeah.
"Man you just don't get it at all!" they said in unison. Then Kensuke panicked and went back to filming the Operations Director again, for fear of losing out on the best shots.
"You guys are hopeless," I said, and took Shinji's exasperated look as supportive of the statement.
The walk back home was how it had always been. Long, relaxing to an extent, but mostly silent. No matter how much things shifted around us, some things seemed destined to remain the same.
Why exactly do we have to go home on our own when Misato and Section 2 exist?
And on that note, my desire to break said silence whenever I had something relatively important on my mind also came as usual.
"Hey Shinji."
"Yeah?"
"What do you think of Misato?"
"Hmm?" that seemed to have caught him by surprise. "Is this about what the guys said at school?"
"Kinda? Not really. Unless you've been hiding some shit, y'know," I said, punching his shoulder good-naturedly.
"What? It's not like that!"
"You know, getting so flustered only makes you more suspicious. It ain't a sin if you've thought that though. Toji and Kensuke are just dumb to think they have a real shot."
"What?" he said, face in utter confusion.
"Shinji, I'm a dude, you're a dude. I'm pretty sure both of us have mastered admiring from afar."
A few seconds passed as realization struck him, and he had a profound blush on his cheeks. It was amusing looking at his face when he got that flustered, but I cleared my throat soon enough. I wouldn't let that kind talk derail the conversation. Toji and Kensuke already did that enough for me, several times over.
"Anyway, you didn't answer my question."
"Oh," he said, as his face straightened out. "Well I guess she's nice, but she can be such a slob. And she's lazy."
"Hmm, I guess. I really don't see what's the big deal with it though. We're really getting a bargain."
"Why do you say that?" his face became exasperated. "It's not about her being attractive again, is it?"
"Not really, it's just...Well, if she's giving you a bad time, I think you would've had an aneurysm with the people I grew up with."
"Why?"
"Cause trust me, Misato is not even close to the pinnacle of laziness. Or sloppiness for that matter. And that's before taking into account her job," I said scratching my head. "Basically, what I'm saying is, don't be too judgmental of her. We all coast through life differently."
There was a pause before he responded.
"I guess."
"The Second Impact you've been taught of all this time has been a lie," Ritsuko said simply, apparently just expecting two 14 year olds with no prior experience into the slimy underbelly of world affairs to just accept that truth.
Thankfully for her neither of us was a normal 14 year old.
"The official reports says that a massive asteroid impacted the Earth, melting the polar ice caps and almost completely destroying the continent of Antarctica. However, that is not true. The real cause of Second Impact is the First Angel humanity came into contact with."
"Second Impact was caused by an Angel?" Shinji asked, surprise evident in his voice.
"That's right. When the First Angel was excavated from the permafrost, an as of yet unknown incident occurred that caused it to explode. The result is what we now know as the Second Impact."
Evidently not so incidental considering how Gendo hightailed it out of there a day before.
"So the Evas can do the same thing right?" I said, deciding to spice up the basically canon conversation, facing her back. "They can cause a cataclysm as well, can't they?"
"Why would ask something like that?"
"Because they have an A.T. Field. And they bleed. And they go berserk. And they regenerate," I said simply, feigning innocence. "I see a pattern and I get concerned. What are the Evas? Cause they're sure seeming like a different breed of Angel."
I couldn't judge her or Misato's reaction from where I was standing. Their shoulders and posture in general didn't really shift. Shinji similarly was not exactly readable even if I could clearly see him.
I might have intricate knowledge on how each of these people operated but it sure as Hell didn't mean I could skim their surface thoughts.
"Your concern is noted Kano. But Evas are man's creation, through and through."
You got that right, at least.
"To battle the Angels, we have had to create things that are superficially similar to them. But the sole purpose of Nerv, and the Evangelions, is to prevent a possible Third Impact. That is why we fight."
I almost couldn't hold in the anger at that blatant horseshit. But if I had to blow my cover, it definitely wouldn't be over something so trivial.
"Hmm, took you long enough."
The sound of a gun being cocked right next to her head evidently didn't concern the woman much.
"You got a lot of balls lady."
"Ironic."
The butt of the gun smacking into her head didn't either apparently, aside from throwing her to the floor.
"I know your type: you think you can prolong you life by just getting on my nerves. But I'm not paid for that lady," he said, as he aimed the barrel toward her again.
"Do that and your bosses will have your head before the weekend is out. Before their own roll away anyway."
"The Hell are you talking about?"
"Sorry if this seems cliché, but like most women I keep important things close to the chest," she said, as she revealed a locket from underneath her blouse, which opened to show a set of delicate-looking displays. "The second my life readings flatline, this thing will send a signal that spills onto the internet everything I know. Seelee, Gehirn, Human Instrumentality. You'll never catch it in time."
"Tch, and why should I believe you? How do I know that's not just piece of junk you've strapped some fancy looking tech to to fool me."
"You could take that chance," she said with a simple smile.
The gun was pressed to her head again. She stared unflinchingly into the man, whose face was concealed by shadows. Another sharp sound was heard, as pain erupted across her cheek, and she saw stars.
But as she saw the man leave, frustrated, she never lost that smile.
"Alright so how about a sandwich right? But like, both of the bread slices are also made of bacon?"
"...You didn't sleep well again last night, did you?" Shinji asked, concern written plainly across his face, as he sipped from his mug.
"I'm just joking," I said, yet a yawn cut in right about then. "Though you're right. My sleep's been shit for whatever reason these last couple of days."
Our idle chatter had slowly gotten more interesting at the least. Shinji was hardly a turbo nerd for me to truly engage often in passionate conversation. Kensuke filled that role instead. But at the very least he was getting better, and especially he was learning to read me better as well.
Said chatter however was interrupted by the sliding of a door, as we both turned to see the Captain dressed immaculately in her business uniform. We could only stare gawking, Shinji and Pen-Pen because they were genuinely awestruck and me because I needed to keep up appearances.
"Good morning."
"G-g-good morning Misato."
"Yeah, good morning."
"I'll be coming home late today so order something out, okay?" she said as she put on her shoes and made for the door.
"Uh sure."
"Yeah, okay."
And with that, we were both left alone in the apartment.
"What was that about?" Shinji asked immediately.
"Nerv stuff, definitely," I answered, tone neutral. I was only half paying attention.
Jet Alone wasn't exactly high on my list of priorities in this universe. I forgot the thing even existed half the time, and it's impact basically amounted to getting Misato a bit suspicious of Nerv. Which she already was by that point, making it unlikely she wouldn't go down the same path even if it never happened. Well, that and scaring the piss out of anyone who would try to build Eva replacements.
Still though, now it wasn't exactly easy to ignore the looming threat of a waiting-to-berserk nuclear robot, however set up and controlled it was. I'd have to take things as they came however.
I found myself in the command center several hours later, with a distinct lack of alien monstrosities to fight, but a very good substitute in the form of man trying to play God. Again.
"Shinji and Unit 01 have been launched," Aoba reported.
"Is there no way I can help?" I had to say, to no one in particular.
"Negative Fourth Child," Fuyutsuki of all people responded. "Unit 00 has still not been reequipped following it's extensive damages in the last Angel fight. Furthermore, sending two Evas would simply be an unnecessary display."
Yeah sure.
It was just kinda hard to believe him seeing Unit 01 struggle to even keep the big ugly lug from moving. Sure, it could probably rip it to pieces without even trying, but well, things were never that easy, even with such a seemingly helpless target.
"The Captain is in!" Maya reported.
There were a brief few moments of nail-biting tension as Misato fumbled around the heart of the berserk machine, while Unit 01 tried it's best to restrain it without outright damaging it's incredibly unstable frame, that even now was blowing off rivulets and bolts due to the pressure.
"The code is not responding. My God, meltdown imminent!" Aoba yelled.
And then, just as everyone braced for inevitable boom, nothing happened. The robot's systems came back all green, and the visual displayed it deactivating and retracting it's control rods back into it's carapace.
Cheers erupted all around me, but I could only stare at the robot in grim disgust, as the first in a long line of bullfuckery that would be performed soon to further Nerv's goals.
"You're looking better today."
"Surprised you noticed," I said, grabbing a chair and digging into my breakfast. "Yeah, for once I actually slept like a normal person."
"Well, that's good to hear."
"How about you? You holding up?"
"Oh, are you talking about yesterday?" I simply nodded in response. "Yeah, I guess. It's really nothing, the Angels are way worse. It's just Misato that could've gotten really hurt. I can't believe she'd do something like that."
"That's Misato alright. It's not bravery or craziness, it's both."
"I guess you're right."
And right on queue, the door to our guardian's bedroom opened up to reveal the scantily clad half-zombie we were used to. I could see the exasperation on Shinji's face, though I couldn't help but be happy myself. It was a return to form, and he'd end up appreciating it in the long run anyway.
The long run being when we got to school today, that is.
"Hey Misato, we're going now!" Toji and Kensuke practically sung in unison.
"Yeah, uh we're leaving too," I added as we were practically pushed out of the apartment.
"Have a nice trip!"
Most of the way to school was of course spent discussing our guardian. Or rather, Toji and Kensuke fawning over her while Shinji remained annoyed, and I uncaring. Up until the point I was waiting for of course:
"I really can't see what you guys see in her. Sure, she may appear cool on the outside, but when you get to live with her, you see how much of a slob she really is."
"Man, Ikari is such a kid, eh Kensuke?"
"Yeah totally."
"What are you talking about?" he said, confusion now replacing his slightly fouled mood.
"Dude, you're totally clueless," Toji said, leaning into him. "She's showing you a side of her that no one else gets to see."
"Yeah, she's letting herself be vulnerable around you because she considers you really close. Y'know, like family," Kensuke said.
Shinji himself looked dumbstruck, as if a revelation had just hit him right there.
"What about you Kano?" Toji said, winking at me.
Oh I see how it is. Dragging me into this even if I didn't want to.
Fortunately for Toji, I planned on saying what I had to even before the urging. In truth I didn't really know how much Misato truly cared for us at this point. Hell, and that was before considering the truly bizarre and somewhat disturbing implications of her relationship with Shinji in the original timeline modified and stretched on both of us now.
Still, to go with what was natural was something I'd only gotten better at during my stay here.
"Yeah, I've though the same thing really. Or something like it. I mean, she took us into her own home, y'know? It'd be weird if we didn't have a bond," for once I felt myself smiling despite myself. "We still bicker, and squabble and stuff, but well, that is family. In the end we all have each-other's backs."
And as Toji and Kensuke reaffirmed my words and moved forwards, Shinji briefly stopped in his tracks, and gave off by far the best smile I'd seen since I'd gotten here.
I pretended to not have noticed it from the corner of my eyes, and simply beckoned for him to hurry up.