Stay

by jaeger-soul

Dash Baxter is finally a senior and this year isn't supposed to be hard. With nothing waiting on him after graduation, he might as well sleep through his classes. He's already got a job after high school's over, why reach for more? He's fine with what he has. But when 'more' comes in the form of a black-haired boy with similar problems to his own, can Dash really not try for it?

84. Home Is Wherever I'm With You

Warning: aftermath of a beating, brief mentions of homophobia, and an on-screen panic attack

---

I wake early the next morning - before my alarm's even gone off. We're supposed to be up by ten and getting out of here - and though I roll over to check the time, my phone's dead. I forgot to plug it up when Danny dropped me off last night.

I'm the only one awake - Alex and Kendra haven't stirred yet but I can't get back to sleep. My heart keeps pounding the same rhythm in my chest - and I can't shake away the thought that this'll be my last time waking up here.

So I lay awake instead, staring up at the ceiling until I can hear Alex's alarm going off in the bedroom.

I dress quietly in the half-darkness of the apartment, part of me already in mourning for what today will bring. I'm excited to move into this house with Kendra and Alex but… this apartment holds so many memories for me. I'm sure it's gonna be even harder on Alex but… still. I'm going to miss it.

When I'm dressed, I move into the kitchen, waiting on Alex and Kendra to migrate in here. I get my charger from where I packed it into my backpack last night and set up my phone to charge on the counter. It's just powered on when Alex comes shuffling down the hall.

Judging by the state of his hair and his half-squinted closed eyes, I'm guessing he's not fully awake yet. He looks toward me, blinking once before he speaks, his voice soft and low.

"Making sure… you were awake," he says, running a hand down his face before he continues. "Chuck and Ana are already on their way over. I'm gonna… get dressed."

He shuffles out of the kitchen and back down the hall without waiting for a response. Damn and I thought I was disoriented in the morning. I glance down at my phone, looking for a text from Danny but… I see ten missed calls from Blake instead.

I navigate to my text messages but there's none from him. And no voicemails left either. Huh… that's weird. Blake rarely calls me.

I shoot him a text, hoping that it's nothing - a couple of accidental dials maybe. I don't know about ten accidental dials though…

To: Blake

Hey, you called last night?

I watch our message conversation for a couple of minutes but he doesn't respond. It's early though so… maybe he's just asleep. Maybe it was nothing.

There's something in my gut that knows it's not though - so I leave Blake's text conversation and open one with Jeff instead.

To: Jeff

Hey is something up with Blake?

I don't expect a text back from him any time soon but Jeff's response comes through about three minutes later.

From: Jeff

No? Not that I know of anyway… why?

I chew on the inside of my lip, reading over his text message twice before I respond, listening to the start of the shower water in Alex's bedroom.

To: Jeff

It's probably nothing. He just called me a couple times last night and I missed the calls

Jeff sends back a GIF of someone shrugging and I close out of his conversation. I almost text Danny but I know he's either asleep or driving over here already. And… I don't want to bring up Blake. I know last night Danny told me everything was fine between them but… still. Old wounds and all that.

My phone vibrates with another text.

From: Jeff

He told me last night that he was planning on dropping by at your new place to help bring in boxes and shit so… you can always ask him then

I chew on the inside of my lip, glancing down the hall before I write a response.

To: Jeff

Are you planning on coming today?

I set my phone down on the counter again just as a knock sounds at the door. I glance down the hall again but I don't think Alex has heard it. So I leave my place at the kitchen counter and step into the foyer.

Chuck and Anastasia are on the other side of the door - coffees and breakfast sandwiches in their hands. And holy shit I'm so grateful they came today - packing up the coffee machine last night felt like a kind of eulogy.

"Oh thank fuck," I breathe, stepping back to let them in.

Chuck laughs and Ana passes off the drink carrier full of coffees to me before dusting snow off the front of her jacket.

"It's snowing again?" I ask, leaning past her to look outside. And sure enough - there are flurries descending from the sky and blanketing the ground again.

Ana stomps her feet to shake the snow off, giving me a nod as she looks up at me. "Yep. Weather channel says we're expected to see at least two more feet of this bullshit."

I laugh but Ana doesn't. She won't meet my gaze as she takes the drink carrier back from me and moves into the dining room. Chuck gives me a smile when I look at him but he doesn't explain. He just pats me on the arm before following Anastasia into the dining room.

Just as I join them at the table, Kendra comes down the hall. She's got her hair up in a bun, blue jeans and one of Alex's hoodies on. She gives me a smile before her gaze lands on the food.

"Oh my god, you're a life saver, guys," she says, reaching across the table to snag one of the coffees for herself. "You guys must have gotten up early to get this before coming over here."

Chuck shrugs, sipping on his own coffee as he leans back in the chair. "Didn't take us too long. It actually went quicker at the truck rental than we thought so… we figured why not treat you guys to something." His gaze darts to Ana as he continues. "But we're in agreement that you guys are buying us pizza for lunch."

"Deal," Kendra says with a laugh.

Anastasia sips from her coffee once before getting up from the table. "So is my brother ever getting up or is he trying to make us do all the heavy lifting?"

She steps into the kitchen, her back to us now as she stops in front of the window. I get that she's trying to joke but there's no humor in her tone.

"Is something wrong?" I ask.

Ana sighs, shaking her head as she sips from her coffee again. There's another awkward minute of silence between the four of us before she turns around to look at us. Her gaze shifts between the three of us before she breaks the silence.

"Hannah and I broke up."

Kendra makes a soft noise and Anastasia looks away from us in the silence. Kendra spares a glance toward Chuck before focusing her gaze on Anastasia. "I'm so sorry - I had no idea."

Anastasia gives a shrug, setting her coffee cup down on the counter beside her. "It happened last night - or rather, I found out about it last night."

"Found out about what?" Kendra asks. She waits in the silence for a few moments before taking a step closer to her and continuing. "I understand if you don't want to talk about it but… we're here for you if you do."

Anastasia lets out a breath, pushing her hair back from her face. "It's just… Alex was right. He's always right about my girlfriends - but I didn't want to believe him. And fuck if it didn't end with her cheating on me."

Kendra makes a soft noise. "Oh, Ana… honey, I'm so sorry." She closes the distance between her and Ana. "You deserve better than that."

Ana nods, not looking up at any of us as she leans back against the counter. "I just… I hate that Alex was right again. Probably gonna fucking… say I told you so."

"What am I saying I told you so about?" Alex asks, glancing my way when I look at him. His gaze shifts back to his sister, his eyebrows drawing down. "Hey - what is it?"

Anastasia shakes her head and lets out a breath. She keeps her gaze on the floor, tapping the heel of her boot back against the cabinet behind her. "I was just telling them that… you were right. Hannah cheated on me."

He's quiet for a few seconds before he steps past me and crosses into the kitchen. He stops across from her, leaning back against the counter opposite hers. "Why would I say I told you so about that?"

"Because." Anastasia looks up at him, her expression pinched. "You tried to warn me. You told me that you didn't trust her and I didn't listen and now-"

"So?" Alex frowns, shaking his head at her silence. "Ana, do you really think I would say that to you?"

She lets out a breath, dropping her head. He takes a step toward her, holding out his arms - and she steps into his embrace immediately. He holds her tightly and a soft whisper passes between them. She sighs and he runs his hands up her back.

"It'll be okay. She won't be your last, I promise you that," Alex says, giving her a final squeeze before he pulls away. He's got a gentle smile on his face as he whispers something in Spanish again.

My phone vibrates on the counter, disturbing the silence the rest of us have fallen into and I look down to my phone. I expect Danny's name or maybe Blake's but it's Nik's that crosses my screen.

From: Nik

Not gonna make it today. Sorry

Huh. That's weird… I wonder if Javier is still coming by. I thought he was supposed to meet Chuck and Ana at the truck rental place. I type out a text, vaguely listening to the conversation happening around me.

To: Nik

It's okay, it's not a big deal

You ok though?

I reread my responses twice, waiting on a text back from him. But after a few minutes, he still hasn't responded. I look up, scanning the kitchen. Kendra and Chuck have moved into the living room and Kendra's telling Chuck what needs to be loaded onto the U-Haul first.

"Hey, Alex," I call, just as he starts out of the kitchen.

He stops where he is and turns back to look at me. "Yeah? What's up?"

"Nik just said he's not coming today… do you know if something's going on?"

Alex's eyebrows pull together as he shakes his head. "I haven't heard anything. But… let me call Javier."

He pulls his phone from his back pocket and frowns down at his screen for a few seconds before putting the phone to his ear. In the distance, I can hear Kendra still giving instructions. But my focus shifts entirely to Alex when he starts talking.

"Hey man - Dash just said he got a text from Nik. Are you…" Alex trails off, his eyebrows rising. "Whoa, whoa - slow down. Are you serious?"

His tone gets the others attention and the three of them leave the living room, joining Alex and me in the kitchen again. Kendra flicks her stare to mine, mouthing "what's going on?" but I shake my head - I have no idea either.

Alex is talking in Spanish now and I watch as a flush of color takes over Ana's face. Kendra and Chuck are watching intently, both wearing pained expressions and I hate myself for not knowing a lick of Spanish. I wish I understood what was happening - why Alex's tone continues to rise and the pure desperation I can hear in Javier's voice on the other end of the line.

Alex stops talking for a few seconds, looking at me instead. "Nik was at school last night with you, right? Did you see who he left with?"

"No, I… Danny and I left before him," I say, looking between them as I ask, my breath caught in my throat. "What's going on? Did something happen?"

Alex shakes his head, talking in Spanish again. But Chuck shifts his gaze to me, his expression pinched.

"Someone jumped Nik when he left. He hasn't said who - he just told Jaiver that it was some guys." Chuck shakes his head as he looks away from me and my stomach drops, my mind instantly conjuring Zane's angry expression as he advanced toward Nik last night.

"Is he okay?" My voice comes out small and shaky on the words.

Alex lets out a breath and shifts his gaze away from me. He talks for another minute or so before he hangs up the phone, staring down at it. And none of us speak - too afraid to break the silence.

Before any of us can ask, Alex puts his phone back to his ear. I catch the quiet ringing sound for a few seconds before a voice picks up - and I recognize her tone immediately.

"Hey, Mom. Are you still at work?" Alex asks, frowning as he nods. "Don't leave yet. Look… Nik's in the hospital."

Tatiana swears on the other end of the line and I just barely catch the word "bike" in her response.

Alex lets out a breath. "No, it's not his bike. Some guys jumped him last night. Can you check on him? Javier asked me not to come by until he's out of the hospital."

I don't hear Tatiana's response but Alex briefly says something in Spanish before ending the call. He stares down at his screen for a few seconds longer before looking up at us with a sigh.

"Alright so… Mom's gone to check on him and she'll let me know how he's doing."

"Can we see him?" I ask.

Alex looks to me, his eyebrows pulling together as he shakes his head. "Javier asked me to wait until they're home, after he's been discharged. So… we'll swing by later and see how he's doing."

He looks away from me then, his expression still pinched as he looks between Kendra, Chuck, and Anastasia.

Chuck's the first to speak. "Then… in the meantime, maybe we should get on with moving? And we can break when Javier calls you."

Alex nods, his expression still pinched. "Yeah, that… that sounds fine. We need to pick up his bike later - he left it in the school parking lot last night."

My stomach turns as Zane's face comes to mind again. I know he did this - I don't know why Nik hasn't told his dad who it was. Everyone saw the way Zane was going to go after Nik before Mr. Lancer sent him out.

"Alright, sounds like a plan. Do you want to start moving furniture from the living room or the bedroom first?" Chuck asks, glancing around the living room with the question.

I bite my tongue, Zane's name on the tip of it. But… Nik didn't tell his dad who it was. And he's… he's gotta have a good reason for it. So I swallow his name and move further into the living room with the others, barely hearing the conversation around me. Like they're all talking underwater - about everything other than what matters right now. Everything other than Nik.

---

It's hard to keep my mind away from Nik and the hell he must be going through right now as I move box after box down into the U-haul in the parking lot. I'm not the only one that's distracted by thoughts of him - I can tell by the silence that's blanketed the others since Alex spoke to his mom. We haven't heard anything since then. Not from Tatiana or Javier.

But… Danny's silver Equus cruises into the parking lot. And for the first time since this morning, I can't help but smile. It doesn't last long. And I watch as Danny parks his car a few spots down from where I'm standing, the weight of the world pressing down on my chest.

Danny gets out of his car, two cups of coffee in his hands. He bumps his door closed with his hip, looking toward me with a grin as he starts my way.

"And that's just one of many things I can do with my hands full," Danny jokes, giving me a sly smile. "Maybe later I'll give you a little preview of some of the other things I can-"

Alex clears his throat softly behind me, making me jump in place.

"Jesus," I mumble under my breath, looking over my shoulder at him.

He's frowning as he looks between us, two boxes loaded into his arms. There's this touch of embarrassment in his features - from his flushed cheeks to the way his eyebrows are pinched together as his gaze flits between us. "If you wouldn't mind… I'd rather not hear about the things you two are planning to do at eleven in the morning."

Danny makes a spluttering noise and gives a vigorous nod as Alex steps away from us. He waits until Alex is in the truck before he looks to me, his face flushed darker than Alex's.

"Hoooly shit, I didn't know he was right there," Danny stage-whispers to me, a breathy laugh escaping him.

I try to laugh with him - or even give him a smile - but it doesn't come to me. Not with the memory of Zane's fists balled at his sides pounding into my brain.

Danny's expression quickly fades. "Here… I brought this for you."

"Thanks." I take the cup he holds out to me and sip from it, my gaze drifting away from him. I stare out into the parking lot, Zane's angry voice playing like a track on repeat in my mind.

Cars pass by infrequently on the street, the few lone Saturday morning workers or travelers. I've always been entranced by the melodic hum of a car zipping by when I'm standing still. But standing here in this snowy parking lot, my heart rattling around inside my chest as I can't even step near my boyfriend for fear I'll set him on fire, too… there's nothing melodic about it.

"Is something wrong?" Danny asks, his voice quiet even in the silence of the parking lot.

I keep my stare on the road, wishing the answer was no. Wishing that I could smile and laugh it off - say I'm just tired. But I'm not just tired - I'm angry. Fucking furious. None of us would say anything to Zane last night - thought it'd be easier if we just ignored him. Thought he'd leave us alone.

Nik was the only one that said anything. The only one that didn't ignore the shitty jokes and slurs thrown our way last night. And Zane beat the shit out of him for it.

The breath I let out hangs in the air. Keeps the tension lingering between us. I hear Alex leave the truck, his footsteps quiet in the parking lot as he heads back inside for more boxes. Someone else is coming down the stairs and when I turn to look, I catch sight of Anastasia - balancing more boxes than she can comfortably hold, a look of pure determination on her face as she carefully descends the stairs.

I take a long pull from my coffee and finally look to Danny. His eyebrows are pinched together, mouth pulled into a slight frown. Words rush to the back of my throat but I nod toward his car before I can spew any of them at him.

Danny falls in step with me as I put distance between us and the others still loading stuff into the back of the truck. Anastasia calls out to us playfully - saying something about us sticking them with all the heavy lifting.

"Nik's in the hospital," I say when we're far enough away, my voice quiet on the few words.

Danny's eyebrows rise when he meets my gaze and he comes to a stop when I do. "Is he okay?"

I lift one shoulder in a shrug, looking away from him again. "I don't know. I think so - I heard he was awake enough to talk to his dad so… I guess he's doing okay."

"What happened?"

A breath escapes me and that same fury ignites in my chest. I rake my fingers across my scalp just to feel something before the words spill out of me like broken glass.

"Some assholes jumped him last night. Beat the fuck out of him."

Anger rattles around in my chest, squeezing around my lungs and balling my hand into a fist around my hair. I can't do this - I can't stand here and pretend I'm not fucking furious.

"Zane," Danny breathes, his eyebrows high on his forehead when I look to him.

I nod, my teeth clenched together.

"What did his dad say? Are they talking to the police?" he asks.

I shake my head and let out a breath as I unclench my jaw. "No, I don't… I don't know if they're talking to the police yet. Nik hasn't… exactly told his dad who it was."

"Are you kidding me - you're going to tell him, right?" Danny asks, his lips parting as he stares at me in the silence. "Have you even told Alex or anyone?"

I hold his stare in the silence - and it answers his question better than my angry words could.

"Why not?" Danny asks, his voice soft.

"I don't know, okay? I just… I don't know why Nik didn't tell anyone who it was and until… until I talk to him, I'm not going to offer up any names." I shake my head at the expression on Danny's face. "It's only fair to give him the chance to be the one to tell someone first."

"Yeah and it sounds like he already had a chance and he blew it." Danny huffs out a sigh, taking a step closer to me, grabbing hold of my forearm with the movement. He lowers his voice but his words still add fuel to that fire burning in the pit of my stomach. "You and I both know that Zane's the one that did this. If Mr. Lancer hadn't been in the gym, Zane would have laid him out right then and there."

I pull my arm from Danny to jerk my hand through my hair again. "Stop, alright? I know. I just…"

"You just what?" His expression is pinched when I look to him.

I blow out a breath, looking toward the U-haul in the silence. Chuck's coming down from the truck now and he meets Alex midway between the truck and the door. I don't know what he's saying but Chuck's doing a lot of gesturing with his thumb toward the truck.

"I'm going to see Nik later today. After he's home, alright?" I look to Danny. "So, I'll… I'll ask him then. And if his reasoning for keeping quiet is shit, I'll tell Alex and Nik's dad and whoever the hell else wants to know."

Danny holds my stare for a few, long moments. But finally, he lets out a quiet breath and I know he's agreeing to it. We keep quiet until Nik can tell us why he's keeping it quiet.

"Hey, Danny!"

Chuck's got his hands cupped around his mouth when I turn to look at him. He gestures for us to come closer so with one last glance spared toward each other, we start in the direction of the others.

"The truck's full. You think you can fit a few boxes into your car?" Chuck asks, looking past us at Danny's car. "Alex and Kendra can both fit a few in their cars but Ana and I are driving the truck."

Danny nods. "Yeah, that's not a problem - I'll fit what I can." He looks to me as he brings his coffee cup to his mouth. "Are you riding with me?"

I don't know that I can be in the car with the others and not explode. So I nod and Danny returns it before sipping on his coffee.

"I'm gonna… help carry out the boxes," I mumble.

Danny lets out a quiet breath as I leave him standing with Chuck. I can feel both of their eyes on me as I walk but I don't turn back to look. I don't need to know what they're thinking about me. I just need to load boxes of our shit into cars until we can get out of here.

This jolt runs through me when I step into the apartment, the sheer emptiness of it hitting me square in the chest. We've been living surrounded by boxes for weeks now and I… I guess I just never realized how real this thing was becoming. And with all the furniture gone from the living room, my heart sits squarely in the middle of throat.

"These are the last of them," Alex says, pointing to a small stack against one wall of the living room. The wall the TV used to sit against. God, I spent so many nights drifting off to ball games and reruns of sitcoms. Just crashing at Alex's place to stay out of Dad's way. I can't believe it's gone…

I down a mouthful of hot coffee to stave off the emotion pricking against me. This place was like my second home. Kept me out of more trouble than anywhere else in the world.

Another swallow of coffee pushes the emotion away just a little more and I set my cup down on the counter before I step into the living room. "I'll take a couple down."

Alex steps back from me. "Alright yeah, you get those and Chuck and I should be able to get the rest." He glances around the living room when I straighten up with my two boxes. "Is he still outside?"

"I'm here," Chuck says, his footsteps sounding through the foyer.

I turn to look at him as he rounds the corner into the living room - Danny right behind him. Danny glances my way for a second before he sets his coffee down next to mine.

"Is your car unlocked?" I ask.

Danny meets my gaze with a nod as he steps closer to me. "Yeah, it is. Here - give me one of these."

He doesn't wait for me to hand over one of the boxes before he takes it from me, holding it close to his chest as he leads the way into the foyer. I follow after him, the sound of our footsteps on the metal stairs resounding in my head over and over again. God, why does this have to be so hard? This was supposed to be a good day. Not… not this.

Danny opens the back door and loads his box in before turning toward me. "Here, I can-"

I shift my box away from me, close the distance between us and press my lips to his. He groans softly into the kiss and I part my lips - inviting him in. He darts his tongue out but just barely touches my front teeth before he pulls back and breaks off the kiss. His eyes hold so much worry as he searches my expression.

"Did I even say hi when you got here?" I ask, continuing before he can answer. "I'm sorry, I… this isn't how I wanted to do this."

"What are you sorry for?"

I meet Danny's stare at the question but he's not trying to patronize me. He holds my stare, a curious expression on his face. Damn, I really fucked this up.

I nod toward his car and he steps back. I turn away from him long enough to put the box down on his backseat and push the door closed. He's still wearing that curious expression when I turn to face him again.

"For my shitty attitude. That's not… I didn't plan on this morning turning out like this." I let out a breath, dropping my stare down to the pavement. "You and I were supposed to race each other to see who could stack boxes in the truck faster and drink coffee together while we hid out from the heavy lifting and I… I've just been ruining it with this horrible mood."

Danny lets out a breath. "It's okay. You weren't exactly expecting to hear bad news like that. And your reaction has been… I don't know, pretty damn reasonable to me, given the circumstances."

Maybe it's reasonable but… it's no excuse for this stilted awkwardness I've put Danny into since he got here.

"Still." I look up at him and close the distance between us.

He leans into my touch as I pull him against my body, our hips flush against each other. His cheeks tinge pink but there's a teasing glint in his eyes. But whatever he's thinking, he doesn't get the chance to voice - not before Kendra calls out to me.

"What's up?" I call back, reluctantly letting go of Danny as I turn toward Kendra.

She's standing at the top of the stairs, her coat draped over her arm. There's a faint smile on her face as her gaze shifts between us. "You want to do one last walk through with us?"

Emotion ripples through me at that - knowing that this'll be the last time the three of us are in the apartment together. I know this move is a good thing and I'm definitely looking forward to having an actual bedroom again instead of a couch in their living room. But… still. This is hard.

"Yeah, I'm coming up," I call back, my stare lingering on her for a moment longer before I turn back to Danny.

He gives me a knowing smile and squeezes my hand before nodding toward the apartment. "Go. I'll wait for you here."

I close the distance between the two of us to press a kiss to his cheek before I step back. He lets go of my hand and I start away from him. My heart hammers in my chest as I climb the stairs for the last time.

Kendra's footsteps echo throughout the apartment - Alex's, too. I can hear the two of them talking softly in the bedroom. I move through the kitchen, the empty counter tops and bare walls feeling so strange. There's this taste of familiarity but it's tinged with all this emptiness.

I walk the distance between the kitchen and the living room, picturing the couch in here. The chair turned closet I basically lived out of for the past six weeks. Damn, it's so weird seeing the place gutted like this. Like we never lived here at all.

Alex and Kendra are coming down the hall now and we silently swap places - they're reminiscing in the living room and I'm loaded down with so many memories in the bedroom. The balcony - where Danny and I talked on the phone and bonded over the hell that is insomnia. Where Alex caught me with his cigarettes after I saw Dad in the parking lot of the hospital.

The space in the bedroom where Alex's bed sat - the place where the two of us had so many fights and disagreements before. Same place he held me together after that one particularly brutal nightmare.

This apartment holds so many memories for me. Good and bad… this place has seen it all. And I already know there are certain things I'll miss about it but… it's not as if we won't make memories in our new place. I try to cling to that instead of this sadness creeping in.

Kendra and Alex are still in the living room when I leave the bedroom. Alex turns toward me at the sound of my footsteps. There's a gentle expression on his face as his gaze searches mine.

"You ready to go?"

Ready to move in with them? Hell, yeah. Ready to leave this place behind for good? I'm not sure I ever will be…

"Yeah. Just… gonna grab my coffee." I nod toward the kitchen before I turn toward it. I pick up the two cups Danny and I set here and balance them with my phone and its charger.

Kendra gives me a smile when I turn around. "You need some help?"

"Nah, I think I got it," I say, adjusting my grip on the cups. "Just pull the door open for me?"

"You got it." She gently squeezes my shoulder as she passes me by. She just reaches the door before Alex stops her, his hand on her arm.

There's a gentle smile on his face when she turns to look at him. "We've gotta leave our keys."

Kendra lets out a quiet laugh, shaking her head as she pulls her keys from her front pocket. "Shoot, I totally forgot."

"I almost did, too. Chuck reminded me," Alex says, a quiet laugh leaving him too.

I watch as Kendra slides her apartment key from the ring the rest of her keys are attached to. She just had this one copied after I broke her old one - but she still holds on to it like she's had it forever. Like it's sacred. She stares down at it for a moment before stepping past me and placing it on the kitchen counter my coffee was just sitting on. Her hand lingers on the key for a moment and she pats it once before pulling her hand away.

Alex frees his key from his ring now and he steps forward to place it on the counter with hers. Just before he reaches the counter, he brings his key up to his mouth, pressing a kiss to the top of the key. He whispers something softly in Spanish and Kendra lets out a quiet breath.

Tears are brimming in her eyes when I look to her. I might not understand the words he spoke but I know the meaning. This goodbye is a hell of a lot more than to just the apartment.

Alex places his key down on the counter next to hers, a quiet breath leaving him in the moment. He looks up at the two of us, tears in his own eyes now. But he's smiling and so is Kendra and I can't keep a smile from my face either. We've been talking about moving for over a month - and it's finally here and we're leaving and I know it's bittersweet to leave this place behind but… I'm really excited about moving in somewhere new. Somewhere the three of us can build a whole new life. Together.

---

"You're quiet," Danny says in the car, half a mile down the road from the apartment.

I look to him at that. "Sorry, just… lost in thought."

He shakes his head. "No, don't apologize - I was just making an observation." He pulls to a stop at a red light, turning to look at me with a smile. "I figured you're just in your head right now. You've gotta be feeling a lot of different emotions right now, huh?"

Yeah… that's one way to put it.

"Yeah, I'm… I've just been thinking about Nik," I say.

Danny lets out a quiet breath, nodding when I look to him. He doesn't say anything for a few minutes, focusing on driving instead, but when he pulls to the next red light, he looks to me.

His eyebrows are pulled down, sympathy clear in his eyes. "I know. It's not right. And I hope they nail Zane for this."

I take his hand in mine. "Me, too."

The light turns green and Danny looks away from me, taking his foot off the brake to pull through the intersection. I watch him as he drives, studying the way his hands curl around the steering wheel, and the concentration on his face as he keeps pace with the traffic around us.

And I fall in love with every part of him all over again. He's so beautiful. He's so kind. What chance did I ever have of knowing Danny and not completely falling for him?

---

It's not a long drive from the apartment to the house and I'm almost holding my breath, waiting on Danny's reaction as he pulls up in front of it. We're the first ones here so I can't let him inside or anything but… I'm still dying to know.

"What do you think?" I ask when he's parked on the curb in front of our house.

He's grinning as he meets my stare. "It looks amazing. And you're right - it's not far from school at all."

"Just wait til you see the inside," I say, looking from Danny back to the house. "The bedroom I picked is upstairs and it's so fucking cool. There's exposed brick and a vaulted ceiling and shit."

"That sounds amazing," he says, his gaze on me when I turn back to him. "Are you excited for this?"

I can't keep the grin off my face now. "Hell yeah. Think about it - you're gonna be able to come home with me after school all the time now."

"And help you with your math homework," Danny points out, grinning as his gaze shifts past me. "Oh, I think that's Alex."

I turn to look over my shoulder and sure enough, Alex is pulling his Challenger into the driveway. I take my seatbelt off and open the passenger door. This rush of anxiety sweeps through me as Alex gets out of his car and I shut Danny's car door before I'm jogging across the lawn to get to Alex.

"Hey," I greet, coming to a stop several feet from him. My gut twists as he meets my gaze. "Has Javier called yet?"

Alex shakes his head, a frown creasing his features. "No, not yet. But my mom's with him and Nik now so… I'm sure they're fine." He holds my stare for a few seconds before he looks past me. "Hey, Danny!"

I turn to look over my shoulder as Danny comes up the walk. He gives a wave toward Alex as he starts up the lawn to get to us. I turn back to look at Alex.

"You've got a key, right?" I ask, nodding toward the house. "I wanted to show Danny around."

Alex pulls his keys from his pocket. "Yeah, of course. Go for it - it's the one with the heart painted on it."

I look up to him at that and his cheeks are tinged pink. He lets out an embarrassed laugh.

"Kendra used some nail polish on it last night," he says, rolling his eyes at the grin I give him. "Shut up. Just go inside and show Danny around."

I give him a mock salute that he snorts at before I start away from him, looking back toward Danny. "Hey, you wanna see this place before everyone else gets here?"

"You know it," Danny says, joining me on the sidewalk and following me up to the front porch. He waits next to me while I unlock the door and I step inside, holding the screen door open for him.

I watch his eyebrows rise on his forehead as he looks up, taking in the vaulted ceilings. "Holy shit, that's so cool!"

"Right?" I grin. "Come on, come check out the kitchen and then I'll show you my room."

Danny follows after me into the kitchen, oohing and ahhing over how spacious it is and the kitchen island - which is one of my favorite parts of the kitchen. I can see Kendra, Alex, and I drinking coffee in the morning at this island.

But the thing that really lights Danny up is my room - he has that same wonderment when he walks in that I did. It's just as fucking amazing as when I saw it all those weeks ago. And I love that he goes to the brick wall first, same as me. He touches it gently, a faint smile on his face as his gaze moves throughout the rest of the room.

"Dash, this is… this is great. I love it," he says, looking toward me with a smile.

"Yeah… I'm excited to move in here," I say, nodding toward the other side of the room. "Did you see the window seat?"

He turns to look as he nods. "I did, yeah."

"It's gonna be epic to sit and do my homework at," I say, grinning as he meets my gaze.

Danny's face is pink and he lets out a quiet, breathy laugh. "I uh… I kind of had an entirely different idea in mind."

It takes me a second to realize what he's saying - and then my own face is on fire. God, why would he say that? And why can't I get the image out of my head of Danny straddling me, my back against the window, the heat from the sun pouring in matching the heat we build between us.

"Fuck, do you mind?" I ask, looking away from him when he laughs. "Seriously, I-I have to be around people and you're… saying shit like that?"

Danny laughs again, the sound musical in the silence of the room. "What? Come on - like the thought didn't cross your mind before I said something."

"It actually didn't." I huff out a sigh at the grin still on Danny's face. "Whatever, come look at the other bedroom up here."

As we leave my bedroom, I hear the front door open downstairs. Alex is talking but I can't see who he's talking to from up here. Danny pulls me by the hand into the other bedroom, leaving the door open behind us.

"This one's cool, too," Danny says, gesturing to the windows across the room. "It's a shame there's not a window seat in here, though."

"Stop," I say, trying to ignore the heat on my face as he turns back to me with a grin. I look away from him as I pull my hand away. "Come on. I think someone else just got here."

Danny doesn't argue as he follows me down the stairs - but when we get to the bottom, I see that same grin still on his face. I try to ignore him as I step into the living room where Chuck and Anastasia are standing with Alex. Ana's taken off her hoodie, wearing a faded black tank-top with a peace hand on the front. Her gaze is set out the front windows, a bored expression on her face.

"You guys want help unloading the U-Haul?" I ask.

Alex is frowning at something Chuck's saying but he looks toward me when I speak. "Yeah. Why don't you two go outside with Ana - Chuck and I will be out in a second."

"Is everything okay?" I ask, looking between them.

He nods, his gaze straying back to Chuck. "Yeah, it's fine. Just give us a second."

I don't really believe him. But I follow Anastasia and Danny outside and to the U-Haul truck. She unlocks the trunk and slides it open. The first thing I see is my desk - the very last thing strapped in.

"My desk," I say, the words falling from me before I can even think them through.

Ana looks to where I am, nodding as she turns back to me. "Yeah. Alex wanted you to have something to put in your room when we got here so after we left the apartment, Chuck and I grabbed it from Mom's garage."

"I thought… the truck was full," I say.

She lifts one shoulder in a shrug. "We saved room. Alright - Chuck and I got it into the truck so two of us should be able to get it inside the house," Ana says, looking to me before she climbs up inside the truck. "I'll unhook it and lower it down. You and Danny guide to the ground so it doesn't slam down and break."

"Got it," I say, moving into place next to Danny as she unhooks it from inside the truck.

Together, the three of us manage to get it on the ground in one piece. Ana hops down from the truck and I move to one end - Danny and Anastasia on the other.

It's subtle at first - I'm not even sure what it is as I start lifting the desk up from the driveway - but once we get it about knee high, I feel the pain explode in my rib. And holy fuck, it's like I've just been punched all over again.

"Wait, wait - put it down, hang on, fuck," I say all in one breath, immediately lowering my end again. I stay crouched on the side of the desk, just trying to focus on my breathing. It's not easy. My rib's aching again and I don't understand. I was doing better - the fuck just happened?

Anastasia and Danny carefully lower their end, too. Danny leaves the other side of the desk, coming around to me.

"What is it? Are you okay?" he asks, kneeling next to me on the pavement.

I shake my head, the pain still too intense to attempt words. Fuck, it's… it's really bad. I draw in a careful breath, trying to see how much it hurts to. It's not the worst I've ever felt - and with each careful breath I draw in, it eases some. Until I'm able to draw in deeper breaths.

"Did you hurt yourself, squirt?" Anastasia asks, crouched behind Danny now.

I look up at her, letting out a breath slowly. I take in the goosebumps on her arms and the crease in between her eyebrows as she stares at me. I must look pretty bad cause she lets out a breath, a swear leaving her.

"Alex! Come here!" she calls.

I steady myself before I speak. "I-I'm fine. It was just a second. I'm okay."

Behind me, I hear the front door open and I rise from my crouched position even though it hurts. I've gotta brush this off - the worst of it is over.

"What is it?" Alex asks, stopping on one side of the driveway as his gaze scans between us. His gaze settles on me, his eyebrows drawing down as he takes in my slightly stooped posture.

I flash him a weak smile. "I'm good. Just… desk was heavier than I thought."

"I think it's his rib," Danny says.

He looks at me when I call his name. I guess he didn't get the message - that he should have gone along with my lie and pretended that I'm fine. I look back to Alex and still try to salvage the lie.

"It's not. The desk was just heavier than I expected," I say.

Alex steps off the grass and onto the driveway. "Alright… can I see your side then?"

I'd rather he didn't. Especially out here in front of other people - but he's not going to let this go. So I tug my hoodie up along with my shirt. Alex crouches in front of me, placing his hand just underneath my rib.

"Tell me if it hurts," he says, his voice soft on the words.

He moves his hand up and I can tell he's trying to be gentle but it's too much pressure. It drags a stupid noise from me that has him looking up at me instantly. He lets up on the pressure and the breath I let out has way too much shake in it.

"Well… you have a doctor's appointment on Monday anyway. If she thinks you need a new x-ray then we can see what's going on then," Alex says, rising from the crouched position.

I let my hoodie and shirt fall down again. "I didn't know I have an appointment Monday. I've got some homework I need to turn in and I-"

"It's after school. And you're not getting out of it," Alex says, putting his hand on my shoulder. "I know what you're thinking. And no - I don't care that you feel fine now. You're still going. And… you're done with heavy lifting today."

I shrug his hand off of me. "No, I'm not. I can still carry in boxes and if I just get a different grip on the desk, I can-"

"Dash," Alex cuts me off, his voice louder than usual. It carries a weight to it that has me shutting up instantly. He doesn't continue until I meet his gaze. His stare is kind but there's finality in his words. "I said you're done. You can help unpack boxes inside but I don't want to see you carrying anything. Got it?"

That part of me that's so used to the fight flares to life in my chest - tells me to push for what I want. To ignore what he says and do whatever the fuck I want to instead.

But another part of me knows that he's right. That I could hurt myself worse if I don't slow down - if I don't let my rib heal from the shit Dad did to me. I think Alex can see that fight in me because he gently touches my arm, his expression nothing but kind as he talks.

"I don't like seeing you hurt. So… please, just leave us to carry the heavy things, alright?" he asks, smiling when I give in with a nod. "Thank you. Danny, can you go inside with Dash? And please send out Chuck."

"Yeah, of course," Danny says, giving me a sympathetic smile as he steps past Alex to get to me. He takes my hand in his and I let him lead me inside the house despite still wanting to fight Alex and help anyway.

Chuck's standing halfway across the living room, his phone pressed to his ear - but he turns to look at us when the screen door shuts behind us. He angles the bottom of his phone away from his mouth.

"Hey, what's up?" he asks.

Danny squeezes his hand in mine. "Alex was looking for you. I think you're being drafted into heavy lifting."

Chuck laughs softly, giving Danny a nod. "Alright." He angles the phone back toward his mouth. "Yes, of course. As many officers as we can provide on this, the better. It's top priority."

I watch as he leaves the living room and steps outside. Danny doesn't let me linger my stare on it for long, leading me further into the house. He only stops when we're in the kitchen.

"Did you guys bring drinks or anything?" he asks, eyeing up the fridge.

"Yeah, but they're in a cooler in Kendra's car. Why? Do you want something?"

He shakes his head, turning back to look at me. "No, I was just asking. Though I wouldn't say no to a Coke if she brings any."

I hear the screen door open again, Chuck and Alex's voices low as they carry in the desk. Anastasia's talking a little louder - but what she's saying is in Spanish. Even with the language barrier, I can tell that she's pissed about something.

"Will you shut up for ten seconds? We know what we're doing, you don't have to keep telling us," Alex says, continuing in Spanish at the noise Anastasia makes.

She starts to respond back and Chuck's voice cuts in, humor clear in his tone. "And to think, I used to actually miss being around you two."

His joke falls flat and the silence that comes from the living room is heavy and awkward. And I decide to be the one to break it. I tug my hand free from Danny's and leave the kitchen, earning Alex's attention as I step into the living room.

"Are you taking that upstairs?" I ask, continuing when he nods. "My room's the second one - the one with the brick wall."

Alex nods. "I remember." He looks from me back to Chuck, his expression taking on a touch of sympathy. "You ready to take this up?"

"Yep. Let's scoot it to the bottom of the stairs and you and I can take it up," Chuck says, laughing at the noise Anastasia makes. "We don't really need three people. It's going to be more awkward that way."

She cuts him a look. "Then you or Alex sit it out. Or hell - both of you sit it out and I'll carry it up by myself."

Alex laughs. "You realize this desk is like a hundred pounds, right?"

She responds in Spanish and from the quiet intake of breath from Chuck, I can tell what she said was ugly. But it doesn't even phase Alex. He leans backward a little, looking out the front door. "I think that's Kendra pulling up now."

"Oh my god, french your girlfriend later - we've got shit to do!" Anastasia says.

He steps away and pushes open the screen door. Ana lets out a groan, collapsing the upper part of her body onto the desk as he steps outside.

"Come on, let's you and I take it up then," Chuck says, nudging Ana's arms off the table. "Come on. Show me that strength of yours you were just bragging about."

She gives him a look but his words work to get her up off the top of the desk. Danny and I stay out of their way as they carry the desk up the stairs. But when they clear the landing, I go up the stairs to join them in the room I chose. Behind me, I hear Danny follow up the stairs.

"Is it good here - against this wall?" Chuck asks when I come into my room.

I look to where they've pushed it against the wall across from the window seat. "Yeah, that's fine."

"You can always rearrange when we get the rest of your furniture," Chuck says as he steps past me. "Come on, Ana. Let's go make Alex help carry more of this stuff inside."

I touch the surface of my desk, suddenly remembering all the homework I did at this desk in my old bedroom. When I'd keep one earbud out to listen for Dad coming up the stairs. Fuck - I won't have to do that anymore here.

"I really like this bedroom," Danny says, a gentle smile on his face when I turn to look at him. His gaze is set out the window as he continues. "You can see so much of your neighborhood from here."

I step away from the desk. "I know. It's great, isn't it?"

He meets my gaze then, his expression still gentle. And so fucking breath taking.

"Do you… think you could maybe-"

I don't get to finish my thought before Alex calls me from downstairs. Danny's still watching me but I don't want to ask him this in a rush. And the stupid words won't leave my tongue now anyway.

"Tell you later," I mumble, turning away from Danny and leaving my bedroom.

Alex is standing just inside the door and he looks up at me on the landing. "Hey, can you come here for a second?"

I go down the stairs again and I'm at the bottom before I hear Danny coming down after me. He gives me a smile and I turn away from him, looking to Alex now.

"What's up?"

He gestures for me to come to him so I cross the living room as he opens the screen door. I've just stepped out onto the porch when someone parks at the edge of the lawn. It's an old beat-up Ford truck and it takes me a few seconds before I recognize the person getting out of the passenger side.

"Kwan?" I call across the yard, stepping off the porch and onto the sidewalk. I glance toward Alex, standing with Kendra by her car. "Hey, give me a second."

Alex nods and I look back to Kwan. He's grinning, giving me a wave as Keith comes around the front of the truck, pocketing his keys as he walks. He's wearing a black hoodie, his hair shorter than the last time I saw him. By contrast, Keith's wearing an Eagles hoodie and his hair is just as long as always - tied back at the base of his neck. Kwan gives a last glance toward Keith before he jogs across the front lawn to get to me.

When he's close enough, he wraps me in a bear hug, a laugh spilling from him as I stagger from the sudden force of him.

"Hey! I've missed you," he says, holding me tighter in the hug. It makes my rib ache but I don't stop him. "God, I feel like I haven't seen you in forever."

I move my hands down his back, holding onto him tightly for a moment longer before I pull away. "Long night last night?"

Kwan's expression darkens just a little but he gives me a smile anyway. "It wasn't too bad."

I look past him at Keith. He's carrying dark bags beneath his eyes, his gaze on the ground as he slowly crosses the snow toward us.

"How's Keith doing?" I ask, letting go of Kwan.

Kwan glances over his shoulder at him, letting out a soft sigh. He looks back to me with a shrug that I understand all too well.

"Hey man," I greet when Keith's close enough.

He looks up from the ground, giving me a smile. "Hey. How's it been going?"

"Good… what are you guys doing here?" I ask, looking between Kwan and Keith.

Kwan glances toward Keith with a shrug. "We got your text last night and decided that if this morning went well, we'd swing by. See what we could help you guys with."

"Yeah? We're still unloading the truck. You guys want to help with that?" I ask.

"Sure." Keith gives me a small smile and looks to Kwan. "Fair warning, this one will probably crap out on you after carrying in one box."

Kwan's mouth drops open. "Hey, that's not true."

But Keith's grinning and I can tell Kwan's missed that expression on his boyfriend's face. Because he lets it go with a simple eye roll, a quiet laugh spilling from him.

"Just give me a second first," I say, nodding to the driveway. "I'll meet you guys at the U-haul."

Kwan gives me a thumbs up, pulling Keith behind him by the hand and over to the driveway. I wait until they've passed before I cross the yard over to where Alex and Kendra are standing, the two of them talking quietly.

"Hey, you wanted me?" I ask, looking to Alex with the question.

He looks toward me but shakes his head. "No, forget about it. I'll get you later - go be with your friends."

"Are you sure?" I ask, continuing in a low voice when he nods. "Is this… is it about Nik?"

Alex frowns, shaking his head. "No, nothing like that."

I look to Kendra before I focus on Alex again. "You'll tell me when Javier calls?"

"Of course," Alex says.

Kendra gives me a smile when I glance her way again but she doesn't offer up any explanation. So I leave the two of them and join Keith and Kwan at the back of the U-haul. Ana's up inside the truck, passing out boxes to the two of them and though I hold my arms up for a stack, she skips over me, handing the next two down to Chuck instead.

"Hey, I can carry something," I say, earning a look from Anastasia. I feel Kwan's gaze on me and the heat's rising on my face. "Seriously, Ana. I'm fine, I can-"

"Zip it, squirt," she interrupts me with, handing another box to Chuck before he starts away from the truck, followed by Keith.

Kwan rests his boxes on the bumper of the U-haul, watching me until I look his way.

I lift one shoulder in a shrug, my face on fire. "They're not… they're not letting me help cause of my… stupid rib."

It comes out in a rushed mumble but Kwan's never needed pretty words from me. He adjusts the way his boxes are sitting on the bumper so they can balance on their own and pulls me into another hug.

"I'm sorry. I know you were looking forward to helping today," Kwan says, squeezing me tighter at the breath I let out. "Did something happen?"

I pull away from him with a shrug and nod toward the house. He picks up his boxes and I walk with him toward the house. "Kind of. I tried to help lift my desk and I guess it was a little too much."

Kwan makes a soft noise. "I'm sorry. I hope it feels better soon."

"Thanks," I say, nodding toward the house. There's no need to pathetically follow him inside without a box. "I'll wait out here."

Kwan disappears inside the house and I cross over the lawn again. Kendra and Alex aren't by her car anymore and they're not at the U-haul either.

"Hey, where'd Alex and Kendra go?" I ask Ana as I come to a stop at the back of the U-haul.

She moves another stack of boxes closer to the door of the truck before looking up at me. "They went into the backyard."

I look past the truck, at the open back gate but I don't see either one of them from here.

"Hey, squirt," Ana calls, extending her hand out to me when I look to her. For a second, it's like she's holding something out to me - but I realize when I take her hand that she's offering to pull me up into the truck. I adjust my hold on her hand and move one foot onto the bumper of the U-haul.

With her help, I get up from the ground and into the back of the truck with her.

"As long as it doesn't hurt you, you can help pass out boxes, alright? But no furniture," she says, giving me a smile. "I hate seeing you sidelining this shit. This is your home now, kid. You should get to be a part of the moving process."

Tiny butterflies spring to life in my gut and I can't keep the smile off my face when she looks toward me.

"Thank you," I say, not sure she even realizes how much this means to me. I know everyone's just trying to keep me from hurting myself worse but not being able to help out still sucks. And this really helps ease the sting.

---

With all of us working together, it doesn't take us more than an hour and a half to get the furniture and most of the boxes inside. We've got three final stacks of boxes left but Alex calls for everyone to pause for a minute so we can order the pizza.

After an intense debate about the best pizza toppings we settle on a few pizzas and breadsticks from a local place. I'm sitting at the edge of the U-haul, my legs either side of Danny's back as he leans against me, my arms around his chest. And anyone who thinks we look cheesy right now can fuck off.

Kendra's just finishing up the order when Alex's phone rings. Danny turns to look at me as Alex answers the call.

"You wanted to ask me something earlier?" he asks, blinking innocently up at me.

I feel the heat crawl over my face and I can't ask him like this. There are other people around and I know the second I start to speak, I'll lose my nerve. Not to mention Kwan's less than two feet from me. How on earth could I say anything without him overhearing me?

"Later," I say, leaning forward to press a kiss to his forehead.

Danny groans softly, pulling away from me. "Seriously, what is it?"

I can't help but grin at the curious expression on his face. "It's nothing major. I just can't ask you in front of Kwan. Cause he'd tease the hell out of me and we both know that-"

"Dash," Alex calls my name softly, his phone away from his ear when I look at him. His eyebrows are drawn down and he doesn't hold my gaze for long. "That was Javier."

My heart nearly stops in my chest. I untangle myself from Danny and drop down from the U-haul. "Is… is Nik okay?"

"Yeah. He's home now… do you still want to come with me to see him?" Alex asks, holding my stare now.

I nod, too numb to say anything else and separate myself from the rest of the group. Danny doesn't call out to me as I step away and I almost want him to. I catch sight of Kwan though - his puzzled expression as he looks between me and Alex. I try to open my mouth - try to let the ugly events spill out of my mouth for Kwan to understand but they won't come.

"We'll take my car," Alex says, looking to Chuck with that. "Can you take the U-haul and get Nik's bike from the school parking lot?"

Chuck pushes away from the back of Kendra's car, where he's been leaning. "Yeah, of course."

"Do you need help loading it?" Alex asks, nodding when Chuck shakes his head. His stare drifts to Kendra. "Are you gonna be okay here?"

She nods, giving him a gentle smile. "Yeah. We'll keep it lowkey - have lunch and take a breather for a minute. Go, I've got it here."

Alex reaches across the space between them, squeezing her hand in his before he steps back, nodding toward me. He doesn't say anything and I feel everyone's eyes on us as we walk to his car. My nerves wrap around my throat and it's hard to breathe as Alex backs out of our driveway and into the street.

We barely speak as he drives - the two of us locked into a silence I can do nothing to break. Because I don't know what the fuck Nik's gonna look like when we get there but I know it's gonna be bad. Cause I saw Zane last night. I know he wanted to hurt Nik for what he said.

Alex's phone vibrates on the center console and he reads it at the red light.

"That's Chuck. He's just got Nik's bike from the school, he's headed to his place now," Alex says, letting out a breath as he set his phone down on the center console again. "His neighborhood is this turn here. Past the light."

I nod when I feel his gaze on me but I can't speak. My stomach's twisting around itself and I wish I would have asked Danny to come with me. I don't know how I'll be able to stand in that living room with Nik banged up and bloody and lie. Tell his dad that I have no idea who did this to him. How am I supposed to say that when Zane's face is all I keep picturing?

"You going to be okay in there?" Alex asks when he makes the turn into the neighborhood.

I look to him at the question, momentary panic splitting through me - as if he's read my mind. "What do you mean?"

Alex looks into the rear view mirror before he darts a glance my way. He holds my stare for a few, fleeting seconds before looking away with a quiet sigh. "Because… I'm not sure how you'll react to seeing someone in a… similar state to what you've gone through before."

"What - cause he got the shit beaten out of him?" I ask, this hot flush rising in me at the words. I shake my head even though Alex's gaze is on the road. "I'll be fine."

He flicks a stare my way for a second. "Alright… if you're sure."

"I'm positive."

It's a lie. I'm not positive about anything. I have no fucking clue how I'm gonna react when I see him. When I see what Zane did to him - the damage he inflicted on Nik just for being like… maybe like me. Maybe like a lot of people close to me.

Alex slows down in the neighborhood and I hold my breath as he pulls to a stop in front of a single story white house, a white pick-up in the driveway. I let my breath out in a rush, taking off my seatbelt with one hand as Alex turns off the engine.

He's just taken off his seatbelt when he glances up in the mirror. "Oh, Chuck's pulling up."

I look behind us and catch sight of the U-haul coming to a stop behind us.

"Alright, well… come on," Alex says, opening up the driver's door.

I follow him out onto the street, standing in the snow that hasn't been plowed yet. My feet are cold through my shoes and a shiver races through me that catches Alex's attention.

He nods toward Chuck when he gets out of the truck, shrugging his jacket off in the same movement. "You need some help getting his bike out?" he asks, holding the jacket out to me. "Here, Dash. Put this on."

"I'm okay," I say, taking the jacket from him when he gives me a look.

He watches as I put it on before moving down the street and joining Chuck. I stand in the snow, watching as the two of them unload Nik's motorcycle from the back of the U-haul. My gut twists when the sun glints off the chrome, remembering the grin on Nik's face when I asked him how he rode his bike in the dress he was wearing.

Chuck rolls Nik's motorcycle up the driveway until it's beside Javier's truck. He uses his foot to knock down the kickstand before turning around. He looks between me and Alex. "Alright… you guys ready to go inside?"

I'm not sure I'm ready to see the state that asshole put Nik in but I follow Alex and Chuck up to the front door. Wait with them on the front porch after Alex rings the doorbell. When the door opens, Javier's on the other side. His mouth's drawn down into a frown and he opens the screen door without a word.

"Hey, Javi," Chuck greets, giving him a smile.

Javier nods in his direction, beckoning us inside before he steps back to give us room. I follow them inside, my heart beating steadily in my throat.

"How's he doing?" Alex asks quietly.

Javier stops a few paces inside his home and turns back to look at us. His eyes are bloodshot and his footsteps are closer to shuffling - god, he looks exhausted. His gaze flits between the three of us before he finally speaks. "He says he's doing okay. But I know my kid - he's in pain."

My stomach clenches and I start to ask my own question - but we all freeze when a quiet voice calls out from further inside the house. It's Nik - calling for his dad.

Javier motions for us to follow him and the three of us trail after him into the living room. My breath catches, heart twists as I round the corner - as I catch sight of Nik lying on a couch. He's propped up on several pillows - a blue ice pack against one side of his face. He shifts the ice pack away from his face as we come into the room. And one eye is barely open - it's nothing more than a slit.

"Jesus," Alex whispers.

Nik turns his head in the direction of Alex, his split lips twisting upward into a smile. "Hey, Uncle." He turns toward me and Chuck and it takes him a few seconds before he speaks again. His speech is slow - like he's struggling to string the right words together. "Chuck, Dash… thanks for… coming by."

Oh god. I can't stand here and watch him struggle just to speak.

"Nik, I…"

I'm sorry. I should have stayed until you left last night. I should have… I should have stood up to Zane when I had the chance.

The words never make it out of my mouth. They feel hollow in this moment. When it's too late for me to do any of the things I should have done.

"It's okay," Nik says softly, as if he understands.

Alex lets out a quiet breath, his gaze on Javier when I look to him. "Kendra and Ana wanted to come, too but they didn't want to overwhelm you guys."

Javier looks to Alex with a nod. "Yes… tell them thank you."

Nik shifts the ice pack against his face, his gaze moving around the room. His eyes look a little glassy but his speech isn't slurred. Just slow. "Did you guys get my… my bike?"

"Yeah, we've got it. It's parked in the driveway now," Chuck says, earning a thumbs up from Nik.

Nik's good eye closes and he lets out a quiet breath. "Don't let my dad scare you, this… looks worse than it is."

Javier lets out a sigh, shaking his head when we look to him. "He's downplaying it. The doctors told me that one of his left ribs is broken."

Shit.

I feel the pain shoot through me at that, as if it's my own rib breaking all over again.

"Dash's was, too. Just before Christmas," Alex says, glancing toward me before his gaze shifts back to Javier. "I know it sounds scary but he'll be okay."

Javier looks from Alex to me. "How long did it take for yours to heal?"

I open and close my mouth twice - the words unable to come out of me with everyone staring at me.

"He's got a check-up scheduled on Monday. I'm going to see if we can get another x-ray to see how it's healing," Alex says, nodding when Javier looks to him. "It'll have been just over a month then so… I'll let you know what the doctor says."

Javier nods, looking to Nik. "Is the ice still frozen? Do you need more?"

"No, I'm good," Nik says, pulling the pack away from his face again. He turns to look at his dad, nodding once in the silence. "I'm okay, Dad. Seriously."

None of us buy it. And I think Nik knows that. Because he lets out a quiet sigh, plunging us into silence. But it doesn't last long - a knock at the front door interrupts the quiet and Javier looks up at the sound.

"Excuse me," he says quietly, stepping past me to leave the room.

I turn to watch him go for a few seconds before I look back to Nik. God, he looks awful. I know exactly the way that he's feeling - putting on a brave face so the people around him don't worry. Fuck, is this what Kwan felt every time he saw me?

Alex takes a step closer to Nik, his voice low as he speaks. "I know you told your dad that you don't need anything but… is there anything I can get you? Anything you want me to bring by?"

Nik shakes his head, letting out a breath slowly. "No. I just want to sleep. They wouldn't… wouldn't let me sleep at the hospital. Kept… checking for a concussion."

"Did they tell you that you have one?" Chuck asks.

Nik shakes his head again. "No, just banged up. I don't… I don't remember hitting my head so… be weird if I had a concussion."

"And you can't remember who did this to you?" Chuck asks.

He's quiet for a few seconds before he looks away from Chuck. As he flicks his stare away, he catches mine. It's only a few seconds but he knows I've seen it. He knows that I know the truth.

"No, I didn't see their faces. It was too dark to see much of anything," Nik says, not looking at any of us with the lie.

God, this is such bullshit. Why is he protecting Zane? Why the fuck would he lie when we both know who did this?

In the distance, I hear Javier's voice followed by a woman's - and they're getting closer. Nik makes a soft groan but doesn't say anything when I look to him.

"Here we go," Alex says softly, shaking his head when I glance his way.

I look to the living room entryway just as Javier rounds the corner, a brunette woman right behind him. She's wearing a white button-down and a black skirt - like she just came from an office somewhere. Her coat's open in the front like she just threw it on as she got out of her car. A pair of sunglasses are perched on the top of her head, her lipsticked lips pulled down in a frown. She's carrying an obnoxiously tiny purse that she drops on the floor at the foot of the couch when she sees Nik.

"Oh, my baby," she calls out, brushing past me to cross the room to get to him. She stoops down to where he's laying and tries to hug him - her arms sliding around his midsection before Javier stops her with a hand on her arm.

"He's in a lot of pain," Javier says.

She lets out a scoff, letting go of Nik and rising to her full height. She tugs down on the hem of her shirt and shoots a glare at Javier. "He's my son, too. I think I would know if he couldn't handle a hug."

Javier sighs. "I know, Sheri. I wasn't saying that you-"

"I don't want to hear it. I just want to see my son." She turns away from Javier and kneels next to the couch. She gives Nik a smile that he doesn't return. "How are you doing, baby?"

Nik lets out a breath. "I'm okay… Dad's been taking good care of me."

Sheri makes a face at that, reaching up to smooth his hair back from his forehead. "My poor baby. I don't understand how this could have happened." She turns to look at Javier at that. "Why weren't you with him?"

"Mom, it was at the high school. After a dance," Nik says, cutting her off when she starts to talk. "I didn't want Dad driving me or picking me up. I wanted to take myself."

She makes a soft tsking sound, continuing to smooth his hair down. "Still." She lets out a quiet breath, giving him a gentle smile before looking toward Javier again. "Do you have his bag?"

"Bag?" Javier asks, frowning as he looks between the two of them.

Sheri raises an eyebrow. "Seriously? It's Saturday, Javier. You know this is when I come to get him."

His puzzled expression gives way to surprise, his eyebrows rising on his forehead. "No, he's not… I assumed you would know that he wouldn't come with you this weekend."

She pulls her hand back from Nik and rises from her kneeling position. In her high heels, she's eye level with Javier. "I'm not going to argue with you about this. I know you think because you have him all week that you're entitled to make decisions like this but you're not about to take my time away just because you don't feel like packing a bag for him."

"No, Sheri - he doesn't want to go with you. He's in pain and he doesn't want to move or go anywhere. I… I just got him settled and comfortable," Javier says, looking at Alex - his wide eyed, desperate expression hard to look at.

She scoffs, her hand on her hip as she turns back to look at Nik. "Do you want to come with me?"

Nik's stare is fixed on the blanket he's under, deliberately not looking at either one of them. The silence is heavy, the tension settling over everything in the room.

Sheri throws her hands up, her car keys looped around her finger jingling with the motion. She turns back to Javier. "Great. He's so scared of disappointing you by choosing to spend time with me that he can't even say it. Great job raising your son, Javier. My lawyers will have a field day with this the next time we're in court."

Javier's eyebrows draw down and he looks past Sheri, at Nik. He speaks in Spanish - but only gets a few words out before Sheri snaps her fingers at him. And it's like she gut punched all of us with the words she barks out at him.

"Hey - what did we talk about with you two talking in code right in front of me?" she asks.

"Sheri, come on - he's not talking in code," Alex says, raising his eyebrows at the glare she shoots his way. "It's Spanish. Which your son speaks fluently and is allowed to use with his family members."

His voice is calm on the words. Calmer than I feel standing here listening to her ranting like this, my gut twisted so tightly I can barely breathe.

"Don't even start with me. You're always over here sticking your nose in our business," she snaps at Alex before turning to look at Javier. "What's the big deal with me taking Nik anyway?"

Javier looks between Nik and Sheri. "He has some medication the doctor prescribed him. He's supposed to take it at certain times and I know you work some weekends. I thought it'd be easier if-"

"I'm perfectly capable of giving medication to my son, Javier. You think I've gotten this far with him and never been able to give him what he needs?" she asks, letting out a scoff. "No, you know what - that's fine. I'll just leave then and the two of you can have fun this weekend. Because by next weekend, I'll have us in court for another look at our custody agreement."

She leaves her spot in front of the couch, giving me a clear view of Nik. His shoulders drop as he lets out a quiet sigh and a muscle works in his jaw as he lifts his stare from his blankets.

"Mom, don't go." He waits for her to turn back to him before he shifts his stare to Javier. "Dad, it's okay. You can… text me the med schedule and I'll set… set some alarms on my phone, okay? I'll be fine."

Javier looks lost - his gaze moving between everyone in the room. He's desperately looking around for anyone that could veto this but Nik doesn't take it back.

Nik shifts his gaze across the living room until he finds Alex. "Uncle, can you and my dad help me up?"

"Yeah, of course." Alex's voice is soft on the words as he crosses the living room.

Nik sits up on the couch and I can see the pain in his expression. But he lets out a quiet breath and untangles his legs from the blankets piled around him. He looks up as Alex and Javier come to a stop either side of him. "Just… hold out one of your arms. I need something to brace against."

God, this is so fucking hard to watch. Why won't his mom just let him stay here?

Javier and Alex hold one arm out to him, both using their other hand around Nik's upper arm to support him. He pulls himself up from the couch, his eyes closed, eyebrows drawn down from the pain. He stands there for a few seconds before letting out a breath and letting go of his hold on Alex and Javier.

"Dad, can you get my bag? It's in my room. Foot of my bed," Nik says softly, looking to his dad in the silence. "And can you get my phone charger, too? The one from the hospital bag."

Javier nods, giving Nik's shoulder a squeeze before he steps back from him.

Nik looks past Alex, at Chuck now. "Can you get my shoes? There's a pair of slides by the front door, I'll just wear those."

Chuck leaves the living room without a word and Sheri crouches down to pick up her purse. She adjusts her coat collar before looking toward Nik. "Is there anything I can help you with, baby?"

"No." Nik lets out a breath, looking away from his mom. And god, he looks so fucking frail standing there - his posture stooped so he doesn't put as much pressure on his rib. I fucking know that pain. And I hate seeing it on him, too.

Chuck comes back into the room, a sympathetic expression on his face. He kneels in front of Nik to put the shoes down in front of his feet before standing up again. "Balance yourself on my shoulder if you need to."

"Thanks," Nik says, holding onto Chuck's shoulder as he steps into the shoes, one slow second at a time. He's just got them on when Javier comes back into the living room, his eyebrows still drawn down and pinched together. And I'm desperate to do something - anything - to help right now.

"Can I carry that out for you?" I ask when Nik moves to take the bag from his dad.

Nik looks to me, lifting one shoulder in a shrug. "I mean, I can get it. But… yeah, if you want to, go ahead."

I take a step toward Javier, holding my hand out for the duffel bag. Javier passes it off to me and turns to face his son fully.

"Bud, are you sure?" he asks, his voice low with the question.

Nik nods, taking a step toward him. "Yeah, I'll be fine, Dad. Come here." He holds his arms out for a hug and Javier steps into the embrace. Nik's almost as tall as Javier is - but Javier still tucks Nik gently against his shoulder. Nik holds on to his dad tightly and Javier holds on gently - like he's afraid of hurting Nik. And I catch just the barest hint of Spanish exchanged between them before they part.

Javier gives Nik a soft smile before pressing a kiss to his forehead. Nik returns the smile when he pulls away, his stare lingering on his dad for a moment longer before he turns away.

Nik gives me a nod and follows after his mom as she leaves the living room. I trail after them, my heart banging around inside me with every step I take. Nik's steps are slow and I can't believe that his mom would ask him to leave with her in this condition. My stomach clenches every time he stumbles but he doesn't stop - and when he reaches the passenger door of Sheri's Maserati, he leans against it heavily with one hand while Sheri unlocks the door.

"You can put that on the backseat. It's unlocked on your side," she says to me, nodding in the direction of the door.

I give Nik another glance before I step past him. I open the passenger side back door and slide the duffel bag onto the backseat. I step back and swing the door closed.

Nik's gaze is on me when I look to him. His eyes shift back and forth, taking in my expression. He draws in a breath and turns toward Sheri.

"Hey, Mom - give me a minute, alright? Just go ahead and get the car started," he says, watching as she gets in the driver's seat and shuts the door. He waits for her to start the car before he looks to me, his expression blank. "Did you want to ask me something?"

I let out a breath, the words not coming to me now. I look away from him, chewing on the inside of my lower lip as I try to think of how to phrase it. He's gotta know what I'm wondering - what question has been pounding in my brain since the second I heard what happened to him.

"Why didn't you tell your dad that Zane's the one who did this to you?" I ask, turning my stare back to meet his.

Nik darts his gaze away from me, shaking his head. "It was dark. I couldn't pick out who it was."

"Bullshit. You and I both know who it was."

He sighs, his gaze set out into the street behind me. "Does it really matter? Even if I told everyone who it was, it's not like I'm planning on doing anything about it."

The breath I let out is shaky and I can't hold back the floodgate that rushes from me.

"But it's not fair. Why wouldn't you let him fucking have it and send the police after him? Why are you letting him get away with this?" I demand, holding Nik's stare when he looks back at me. "It's not right. Look at what he did to you - Nik, look at what he did to you."

He puts his hand on my arm, squeezing my upper arm tightly. "Dash. It's fine, alright? I don't want you worrying about this - if I want to do something about it, I will. But I don't so… don't worry about it. I've got it under control." He watches me for a moment longer before his eyebrows draw down. "And I'd appreciate it if you'd keep this to yourself."

God, that's not fair. How can he ask me not to tell everyone I know that Zane's a fucking asshole? How can he ask me to keep something like this quiet?

Nik lets go of my arm and shifts his weight from the car. He opens the passenger door and I feel the heat blasting from inside. He gets in the passenger seat before turning to look at me, a soft smile on his face.

"See you."

He closes the passenger door and I step off the driveway - into the frozen over snow that crunches beneath my feet. My heart's like a jack hammer in my chest as his mom backs out of the driveway and pulls away from the house with him. How can he act like he's handling this when… when things have never felt this out of control before?

---

Alex and I don't speak on the drive back to the house. There's this heaviness in the car that blankets everything and neither of us try to break the silence that's settled over us. Not even when we get to the house and Alex parks behind Kendra's car before he cuts the engine. We just get out in silence.

I lean against the passenger side of the car, replaying the conversation with Nik in my head over and over again. As though I could have said something to change his mind. To make him tell someone the truth.

Alex pulls out a cigarette pack and I look to him at the sound of his lighter. He shields the flame with his hand, bringing it up to his lips to meet the cigarette hanging from them. I watch it light and watch the flame die as he closes his lighter. He meets my stare then but we still don't say anything. He just nods, exhaling out a cloud of smoke as he puts his lighter away in his pocket.

God, this is hard. The look on Javier's face as we left was fucking heartbreaking. All he wanted was to comfort Nik and then Nik's mom wouldn't even let him do that. Had to take him away just when Javier was getting him comfortable.

"Are you alright?" Alex finally breaks the silence with. He blows out a breath of smoke when I look to him. "I know that seeing him like that couldn't have been easy for you."

It wasn't just the state Zane left him in. It's… Nik, not wanting to tell the truth. It's his mom showing up and making him leave with her even though he was in pain. It's me - standing out here in the snow, unable to do anything to fucking help anyone.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asks, nodding when I shake my head. "Alright, we don't have to."

He lets out another breath of smoke and I watch it rise in the air, tilting my head back to watch it until it disappears entirely. Until it fades away into nothingness and I'm left staring at an empty sky.

"It just sucks."

My voice is small on the words and I can't stop the tears from stinging my eyes. This isn't fair. Zane should have to pay for what he did. Or fuck, if we're talking fair, Nik shouldn't have to be in pain right now cause of the fucking shit Zane did to him. And I shouldn't be so angry, my chest aches from everything I'm holding back.

"I know," Alex says softly, taking a step closer to me.

I keep my gaze set on the sky, everything thrumming in me at a hundred fucking miles an hour. After a few minutes of clenched fists and pounding heartbeats, a car pulls up at the edge of the lawn and parks behind Keith's pickup. When I turn to look, I see the U-haul.

Alex turns to the noise and nods toward Chuck as he gets out of the truck.

Chuck shuts his door before starting up the driveway toward us. I look away from the two of them and I can feel Alex's gaze on me. I don't want to talk about it - I can't explain or understand this hurricane in my chest. Shit like this happens all the time. It's just… god, to Nik? He's younger than me and… I was right there. I should have done something. He shouldn't have to put up with this shit because I was too scared to do anything.

"Have you been inside yet?" Chuck asks.

Alex lets out a quiet breath. "No, not yet." He's quiet for a few seconds before he calls my name softly. "Dash? Are you ready to come inside?"

I don't think I'll ever be ready. I need this aching cold to keep me grounded in place. To keep me from breaking and splitting into a million pieces.

This was supposed to be a good day. We were supposed to move into our home and make memories and laugh and now… it's like I've swallowed a weight. And it's pinning me to the ground, stealing all the oxygen from my lungs. It's like it's keeping me in place, drowning. Gasping for air.

"Give us a second," Alex says to Chuck softly and I listen to the sound of shuffling footsteps walking away from me. But it's just one pair of feet - Alex is still a few steps from me. Still watching me - seeing how much this is fucking with me.

I push my hands through my hair, scratching my scalp with my nails. "Fuck."

Alex closes the distance between us, placing his hand on my shoulder. He doesn't say anything - and his touch should really be more of a comfort than it is. It's doing fucking nothing for me right now and I hate that.

"He didn't do anything wrong," I spit, finally looking toward Alex with the words. He gives me a nod and I can't stop myself. "Do you even know why this happened to him?"

Alex's eyebrows pull together and he shakes his head a little. "No, I don't. I assumed it was random."

"He was wearing-" I can't even bring myself to say it. Cause it's so fucking stupid - so fucking what if he wants to wear a dress? It shouldn't have caused this.

"What is it?" Alex asks but I shake my head. I can't say it. Nik's not going to say anything. He asked me not to say anything.

I step away from Alex and nod toward the house. "Forget it. Let's just… let's go inside. Unpack."

I don't wait for Alex before I start up the sidewalk and onto the porch, my heart pounding in my ears. I open the screen door and twist the doorknob - it isn't locked, easily turning when I try.

Laughter sounds from deep in the house and there's this sweet scent rising in the air. I let the screen door close behind me and the low conversation hits a lull. They've already placed the couch against one wall, stacks of boxes everywhere throughout the living room.

Alex comes in behind me, glancing toward me as he kicks his shoes off. Chuck steps in after him, doing the same with his shoes. So I kick my Converse off by the end of the couch and follow the two of them deeper into the house.

I stay on the fringes when we enter the kitchen and find Kendra, Anastasia, Danny, and Kwan gathered in there. Boxes are stacked up on one side of the kitchen, behind the island. Danny's sitting cross-legged on the kitchen island, a cookie in one hand, a plastic disposable cup in the other.

He brightens when he sees me and takes another sip from his cup before he sets it down, along with his cookie. He gets down from the counter, earning Kendra's attention with the movement. She looks to him before her gaze catches Alex and Chuck. She brightens just like Danny did, a smile wide across her face.

"Alex, hey! You didn't call to say you were on your way home," she crosses the kitchen to get to him, wrapping him up in a hug.

Kwan's standing at the end of the island and he gives me a smile - but I don't say anything to him before Danny's moved across the kitchen to me, pulling me into a hug, too.

He stumbles backward a pace with the hug I give him in return, my full weight against him now. Like I can only stand here if he holds me up. Fuck, I missed him.

"Hey," Danny says, a breathy laugh leaving him as he holds onto me tightly. "Hey, I missed you."

I can't say it back. But I pull away to press my lips to his. And it's not a gentle kiss, either. It's ravenous - like I might devour him whole from the simple act of my lips on his. I don't know how to love him any differently. I don't know how to kiss him and not consume him in the same breath.

Danny's the one to pull away, worry in his eyes as he searches my expression. I wonder if he's seeing the tears stinging my eyes. If he's seeing the war raging inside me.

"Are you okay?" he whispers, his eyebrows high on his forehead with the question.

We both know the answer to that. How the fuck am I ever supposed to be okay again?

I drop my stare from his with nothing more than a shrug to explain away this gut punch of a day. There aren't words for it. No way to describe the hurricane that began in me the moment I saw Nik.

I can feel several people looking our way but I don't pay them any attention - not until Kendra calls my name.

She gives me a smile when I look her way. "Come here. We have something for you."

"What is it?" I ask. I don't want to let go of Danny yet. He's one my breath of sanity in this moment.

Kendra's smile slips for a second and her eyebrows pinch together. "You've gotta open it. Come here."

I reluctantly pull away from Danny and he doesn't follow me as I cross the kitchen over to Kendra. When I stop in front of her and Alex, she holds out a small lidded box - like something jewelry would come in.

She's still smiling as I take the box from her. And I feel shitty when her eyebrows pinch together a little - like she can see the sour expression on my face. So I shake the box next to my ear, trying to guess what it is. It sounds like it could be jewelry. A necklace maybe - it's a loud clinking though.

"Open it, silly," she says, a small laugh escaping her.

I lift the lid off the top of the box and my heart squeezes painfully in my chest, emotion hitting me like a fucking ton of bricks. It's a key - the house key. My new house key. Attached on the same keyring is small charm depicting a home, smoke rising from its chimney. Holy fuck.

There aren't words - I just look up at Kendra and Alex, trying desperately to give them the words they deserve for something like this. They could have done this casually - handed me a key when we walked in today. But they did this - cause they know how fucking much this means to me.

"This is… I… thank you, I…"

Words fail me as always. I end up staring down at the key, trying to will away the tears stinging my eyes. But it's a lost cause. And I know everyone's watching me but this hurts and it's so fucking right and I can't stop picturing Nik's bruised face and I don't know what to do. I've never been good with this kind of emotion.

Kendra's touch on my wrist is gentle. Alex's hand on my shoulder is steadying.

"You're home, kiddo," Alex says, squeezing my shoulder when I don't look up at either one of them. "You're home."

I can't stop the shaky breath from leaving me - can't stop the tears from running down my face. So when Alex pulls me against him, I bury my face in his chest to muffle the sound.

I've wanted this for so long - and in the past, it was just about getting away from Dad. But this is more now. This is moving into a home - this is living with people that care about me. Living with people that would never put their hands on me. Never back me into a corner.

Never hold a gun to my head. Never make me wish they pulled the trigger.

Alex holds me tightly against his chest, his arm around my back strong and secure. And I love him. And I love Kendra. And I love our home and our friends and the fact that we get to have this - that this is who we are now. We're becoming a family.

---

When I pull away from Alex, the kitchen has emptied. It's just me, Alex, and Kendra left standing there. Kendra gives me a gentle smile when I look her way.

"I'm so happy you're here, Dash." She cups one side of my face with her hand.

"Me, too," I say, dropping my stare from hers. "Thank you for this. I… I really appreciate it."

Alex gives my shoulder a final squeeze before he looks to Kendra. "Did everyone eat already?"

Kendra nods, her touch leaving me as she looks to Alex. "Yeah, the pizza's in the fridge. Do you guys want me to heat some up for you?"

She looks between us but Alex shakes his head. He looks toward me, his expression gentle and sympathetic.

"Why don't you show us what you've managed to unpack?" Alex asks, looking away from me as he calls into the living room. "Hey, Chuck, come here."

I hear Chuck's footsteps on the floor and he peeks around the corner of the kitchen, looking between Alex and Kendra. "What's up?"

"Come look around at what they did while we were gone," Alex says, looking my direction. "Dash, you come, too."

Chuck spares me a glance before he starts after them. This panic splits through me and I can't let him get far.

He stops when I close my hand around his wrist but I can't quite look up at him yet. I listen to the sound of Kendra's voice growing smaller as she leads Alex out of the kitchen and further into the house. It takes me a few seconds of quiet before I can lift my stare to Chuck.

His eyebrows are raised but he doesn't say anything, just watches me.

"I need to talk to you." I let go of his wrist and step back, nodding toward the hallway. I gently tuck the key into my pocket as I leave the kitchen, Chuck following behind me.

The two of us cross through the hallway and into the living room, winding our way through the stacks of boxes around the couch and in the middle of the floor. Some of them are still sealed but a couple are open - I can see some of the pictures Alex had hanging on his walls in the apartment. I can hear Danny talking softly, Kwan's laugh in response. And my heart aches to be in there with them. But I have to do this first.

Chuck follows me out of the front door, the two of us standing in our socks on the front porch, snow lazily drifting from the sky above.

"It's about Nik," I finally say, my breath hanging in the air.

Chuck holds my stare when I meet his. "Okay… what about him?"

I know what Nik asked of me but… but fuck him for asking that of me.

"Zane Anderson. That's the guy who… he's the one who did this to Nik."

Chuck raises his eyebrows, his gaze searching my expression. "Did Nik tell you that?" He frowns when I shake my head. "I thought you left before Nik did last night."

"I did, I just… I know it was him. He tried to start a fight with Nik before I left and one of the… god, one of the teachers had to send him away," I say, voice shaking on the words. I try to chalk it up to the cold but I know it's much worse than a simple chill. "I thought he left then. We all… we all thought he left."

"Okay, well… two of my detectives are already working on obtaining security footage from the parking lot last night. They're going to let me know as soon as they have their hands on it and I'm going to go down to the station and see if I can identify who you're talking about." Chuck reaches into his back pocket as he talks, taking out a pad of paper and a short pencil that's more eraser than lead at this point. "Can you give me any identifiers about him? Hair color, body type?"

I let out a breath that shakes. "He has dark hair. Kind of lean - he's one of the basketball players. He's a senior. Uhh... His… His parents are Millie and Kent Anderson. He's got a little sister, Katrina - she's in middle school. And he drives… I think it's a red Mazda."

Chuck's writing down everything I'm saying and when he's finished, he looks up at me with a soft smile. "That's good, that's a lot to go on, thank you."

I let out a breath that feels like it's been trapped for years. "Yeah, well… I just want you to nail that asshole."

"And we will. Don't worry about that." Chuck looks down to his notepad again. "Which teacher sent him away in the gym last night?"

"Mr. Lancer - he teaches English," I say, letting out a shaky breath when Chuck nods again.

He finishes writing that down before he puts his notepad away. He lets out a quiet breath and places his hand on my shoulder. "I'm assuming here that you don't want Nik to know you're the one who told me this?"

I nod, my stare dropping to the porch. "Yeah, he asked me not to say anything."

"Well… I'm glad you did anyway. Thanks for telling me." Chuck gives my shoulder a squeeze, a soft smile on his face when I look up at him. "Come on. Let's get inside before Alex realizes you're missing."

I follow Chuck back inside the house, my insides even more jumbled up than before. But I hear Kwan laugh again - and it makes my heart feel lighter.

"You go find Kendra and Alex. I'm gonna hang with my friends," I say, giving Chuck a smile when he nods. I watch him leave the living room before I go in the direction Kwan's voice is coming from.

They're gathered in Alex and Kendra's bedroom. Anastasia's sitting on the end of their bed but everyone else is standing. Kwan looks my way when I come to a stop just inside the bedroom. But he gives me a smile instead of a worried expression.

"Hey," he greets, darting his stare toward Keith before he returns it to me. "We were just talking about going to find you. Do you want some help unpacking your stuff?"

I lift one shoulder in a shrug. "I don't really have anywhere to put anything yet. Alex and I are supposed to get some furniture tomorrow."

Keith frowns. "You don't have any furniture?"

"Just my desk." I shrug at the puzzled look on his face. "I just… I didn't want to take a lot from my old place."

His expression clears and he drops his stare with a nod. "Right… I can imagine."

"It's a new space here, you know? Might as well start… start fresh," I say, my voice losing strength the longer I talk. I look away from Keith and catch Danny watching me. He gives me a gentle smile and I look to Anastasia. "Did you guys get the rest of the boxes from the truck before Chuck left?"

Ana nods. "Yep. Everything's been sorted into the right rooms as well so… we should probably start unpacking while Kendra plays tour guide."

I laugh and she smiles and it eases some of the weight that's been crushing me since I stepped foot in Nik's house. "All that we can really do in my room is hang up my clothes. Which Kwan's allergic to considering half of his clothes live on the top of his desk."

"Hey! That's not true," Kwan says, his face pink when I look to him.

I laugh but I'm not able to get out another quip before I hear Alex calling me. I catch the sound of the screen door shutting behind someone, a soft voice intermingled with Alex's.

"Give me a second," I say, looking to Kwan with the words before I leave the bedroom.

Alex is in the living room and he turns to look my way, offering up a smile. "Hey. Look who's here."

I turn to look at the door and my breath sticks in my throat, heart soars in my chest. Tatiana's taking off her winter coat but she smiles when she sees me.

"Dash! How've you been, cariño?" she asks, dropping her coat on the arm of the couch. She closes the distance between us before I've even had a chance to respond. She gathers me up in her arms and holds me close against her, swaying the both of us from side to side. "I've missed you. How's school been?"

She pulls away with the question, placing one hand under my chin as she holds my gaze. "Has mi hijo been feeding you well enough?"

I feel the heat on my face but it doesn't stop the grin. "Haven't had a nutritious meal in weeks - I've been surviving on fast food."

Alex makes a noise that's somewhere between a squawk and a gasp. He shakes his head when Tatiana looks at him, the tips of his ears turning a little pink. "That's not true. I've been taking good care of him - Dash, come on."

I can't help but laugh and the sound brings a smile to Alex's face. He rolls his eyes as he looks back to Tatiana. "This one, I swear."

"I'm sure Dash is being honest - poor thing needs meals, Alexander! You can't expect him to live on take out all the time," Tatiana chastises and it makes me laugh again.

I hear footsteps behind me before I can respond and I look over my shoulder, seeing everyone from the bedroom behind me. Kwan's at the back, peeking around everyone else.

"Hey, Kwan, come here," I say, watching as Ana steps out of the way for him. I turn back to Tatiana as Kwan comes to a stop at my side. "Tatiana, this is my best friend Kwan. He had dinner with us over Christmas break."

Kwan gives her a smile, extending his hand out toward her. "It's nice to see you again."

"You as well," Tatiana says, giving him a smile as she takes his hand. She tilts her head to one side. "Have you been by the house more than once? I swear I've seen you somewhere else…"

Kwan drops his stare. "Actually, I um…"

"Hi, Tatiana," Keith says, standing on the other side of Anastasia now. He gives Tatiana a tired smile.

Tatiana places her hand over her heart and steps past Kwan, pulling Keith into a hug. "Of course, of course. Niño dulce, how's your sister been today?"

Keith pulls away from her, offering up a shrug. "Better than last night."

Tatiana gives him a nod, cupping one side of his face with her hand. "It'll be alright. She's strong."

He gives her a nod, dropping his stare to the ground. Something about the pinched expression on his face tells me he doesn't believe a word of that.

Ana nudges my shoulder with hers as she comes to stand next to me, looking toward her Mom. "Did you bring some of Dash's shit over?"

"Language, Ana." Tatiana frowns as Anastasia gives her a shrug in response. "Yes, there's a few boxes in my backseat. But first things first… Dash, come here, cariño."

She reaches out for me and I let her take my hand, leading me over to the couch. I couldn't see it past the boxes but once we reach one end of the couch, there's a large bag - something spilling out over the top of it.

"This is for you," she says, letting go of my hand. "Open it, cariño."

I look from the bag to her and back again. And this heat prickles against my skin as I'm all too aware of everyone watching me as I open the bag. At first, I have no idea what I'm looking at - but as I pull it out, I realize it's a blanket. It's weighty and like a zillion different colors.

"Oh, sweet. This is so cool," I say, looking back at Tatiana. "Thank you."

Tatiana beams. "I've made several blankets for both of my children growing up. And any new addition to the family - nieces and nephews, cousins… and now it's your turn to have one."

Oh. Oh fuck. She made this? For me?

"That's… you really… I…" I trail off, words failing me again. Fuck, this is too much. The whole goddamn Moreno family is going to be the death of me. First Alex and Kendra give me a special keychain to welcome me home and now this?

I look up at Tatiana, trying to swallow against the lump in my throat. "I don't know what to say. I just… thank you."

She's still beaming as she takes my hand in hers. "No need to thank me. You're a part of this family now. And I want you to remember that every time you lay down to rest your head. Alright, cariño?"

I swallow hard, nodding as I drop my gaze. I can't have her seeing the tears stinging my eyes. "I-I will."

Tatiana makes a soft noise and reaches forward to pat my cheek. "Sweet boy."

Anastasia lets out a heavy sigh, shooting me a look of sympathy when I glance her way. Her gaze slides to Tatiana. "Mom? Toss me your keys, I'll get the boxes from your car."

"No, no. First - I want you and your brother to show me around," Tatiana says, stepping away from me and looking to Kendra with a smile. "You come as well - Charles, you too."

"Mom, at this rate we're never going to be finished," Anastasia groans, following after Tatiana as she leaves the living room with Alex. She looks over her shoulder at us. "If I'm not back in ten minutes, send out search and rescue."

I laugh at the expression on her face but I'm not given a chance to respond before the doorbell rings. I look toward the sound and with this rush in my chest, I realize that this is my home now. I'm the one who should answer it.

"Just a sec, let me see who this is." I drop the blanket on the couch again and look to Danny with the words. He gives me a smile and I slip away from everyone gathered in the living room.

As I start for the front door, I hear Danny ask Keith how he's been doing - if he needs anything. I don't get to hear Keith's answer before I reach the door. I open it up, not entirely sure who I'm expecting. But Blake staring back at me definitely isn't it.

"Hey," he says when I push open the screen door. He slides his hands into the front pocket of his hoodie, letting out a breath. "Sorry I didn't get a chance to come by earlier. My parents were… well, they were being my parents."

I lean against the doorframe, taking in the exhaustion radiating from him. From his stooped posture and heavy eyes. I don't know what his parents had him doing but it looks like it's taking a toll on him. I've been there. "Yeah, I understand. You don't have to apologize."

He lets out another breath, meeting my stare again. "So… is there anything I can help with?"

"Well… there are some boxes in the car and we… Actually, hang on." I push away from the doorframe and nod toward the porch. Blake steps back and I join him on the porch, pulling the door closed behind me. "You um… you called me last night? And again kind of early this morning?"

Blake's stare darkens and he drops it. "Yeah, I was leaving school last night. After the dance, you know? And I saw these guys just… beating the shit out of somebody."

"Nik," I breathe, my heart squeezing in my chest. Oh god… did Blake actually see who it was?

He looks up at me. "So someone told you then?"

"Yeah, is that… you were calling to tell me that?" I ask, my mind instantly conjuring up Nik's bruised and bloody face.

Blake slides one hand from his hoodie pocket, twirling a strand of hair around his index finger in the silence. "Well… actually no. When I got to Nik, I kind of recognized him but he was in rough shape and going in and out of consciousness. He kept asking me to call his dad but… his phone was dead so I called you to figure out who the fuck his dad was."

"Oh god… his dad was at the hospital with him this morning so… I'm guessing he eventually told you?"

Blake lets out a breath, shaking his head in the silence. "No, he um… when the paramedics took him away, I uh… I could only tell them his first name, I didn't know anything else about him. So I tried calling you on the way to the hospital and a couple times in the waiting room but… I couldn't get through."

"So you… you stayed with him?" I ask, my voice small on the question.

He lifts one shoulder in a shrug. "Kind of. They said family only so I wasn't actually allowed to see him. I stayed in the waiting room until they tracked down his dad. He's the one who let me back in the room with them a couple hours before they discharged him."

He trails off, letting go of his hair.

"Blake, I… I don't know what to say."

He shakes his head, looking up at me in the silence. "You don't have to say anything. I just did what any decent human being would do. And to be honest, I-" He stops himself, shaking his head again the silence.

I wait a few seconds, see if he's going to continue that thought, but when he stays silent, I take the opening. Ask the question that's been on my mind since Blake started talking. "Was there… did you see who it was?"

Blake looks up. Meets my stare. And in the weighted silence, I know he understands what I'm asking. And the simple nod he gives me sends this rush through me.

"Was it Zane?" I ask, barely breathing with the words.

He lets out a breath. "Of course. And his friend Antonio. The two of them were the main antagonizers."

"There were more than just those two?"

Blake nods, his stare dropping. "Yeah, there were three guys."

"Who's the third?" I ask.

Blake lets out a quiet breath, shaking his head in the silence. He runs his tongue along his top teeth. "You're not gonna like hearing this."

I draw in a breath, bracing myself for the name he's about to give me. "Who is it?"

He looks back at me, lifting one shoulder in a shrug. "Toby Waterman."

Fuck.

"That's our teammate," I say, the news settling less like a gut punch than I expected. "He's one of the only freshman Coach brought to our team this year, right?"

Blake nods. "Yeah, that's him. I barely talked to him honestly and… thank fuck the season's over. I don't know that I could stand to be near him."

"Me neither," I say, the irony twisting in my gut at Blake being disgusted by the same actions he did not that long ago. But… Blake's past shitty behavior aside, this is good. If we can give Chuck more than just Zane's name, maybe he can nail them all. "Hang on a second."

Blake looks up at me but I step back into the house before he can ask why. Everyone's still gathered in the living room where I left them but I just give a smile when they look my way before I venture further into the house. I can hear Alex's voice drifting from the spare bedroom downstairs and I go in that direction.

Chuck's standing at the edge of the room, next to Anastasia and I stop at the doorway.

"Hey Chuck?" I call, earning everyone's attention in the silence. He looks to me, his eyebrows raised in question and I continue. "Sorry, can I borrow you for a second?"

"Yeah, of course." Chuck turns back to Anastasia, touching her on the elbow. I don't catch what he says to her but she nods at it. He turns back toward me and I lead him out of the spare bedroom and through the living room again. He follows me out onto the porch again and I hold open the screen door until he joins me outside.

He looks from me to Blake. "Hi, are you one of Dash's friends?"

Blake glances toward me before he nods. "Yeah, I am. My name's Blake."

"Tell him what you told me," I say, continuing when Blake looks at me. "About who you saw with Nik."

Chuck's eyebrows rise on his forehead and he turns to Blake.

Blake lets out a quiet breath, nodding once. "So I saw the guys who were beating on him. There were two seniors and a freshman. Zane Anderson, Antonio Lopez, and Toby Waterman."

Chuck slides that same notepad from his pocket and flips a few pages in before writing down the names Blake said. "And you saw them? You're sure it was them?"

"Yes. I walk the halls with these guys every day - I recognized each one of them," he says.

Chuck nods, writing that down before he looks up at Blake. "If we can't pin security footage on them, would you be willing to come down to the station and make a formal statement?"

Blake lets out a breath, his gaze darting to me in the silence. "Um… I mean, I could if it was anonymous."

Chuck's eyebrows draw down and he taps the tip of his pencil against the notepad. "Why anonymous?"

He starts tugging on a strand of his hair again, not looking at either of us as he talks. "I don't know, I just… my parents wouldn't want me getting involved in something like this so I don't… I can't have it linked back to me, you know?"

"Why wouldn't your parents want you getting involved?" Chuck asks, frowning when I look at him. "Wouldn't they want to know that their son was standing up for someone else?"

Blake looks up with a sigh and drops his hand from his hair. "Not in this situation. They'd probably say that Nik got what he deserved."

Chuck's eyebrows rise higher and the silence that descends around the three of us is heavy. Chuck takes a breath before responding. "Why's that?"

Blake's gaze darts toward mine as he talks. "Because… he was… I'm guessing no one told you that Nik was in a dress last night?"

"No. No one told me that," Chuck says, writing on his notepad again before he looks up at us. "Do you think that's why this was done to him? Do you believe it could have been a hate crime?"

Blake looks toward me again, lifting one shoulder in a shrug. "I mean… Zane was saying all kinds of homophobic slurs before a teacher sent him away but… Nik pissed him off so… to Zane, that could have just been about his pride and not so much the dress thing."

Chuck's nodding as he keeps writing. "What do you mean Nik pissed him off?"

"Zane kept saying stupid shit," I say, earning Chuck's attention. "He said things to me and Danny, a few of our other friends. He wasn't just saying shit to Nik. But… Nik was the only one that said anything back."

"And what was that?"

"Zane called him a drag queen. And Nik said something along the lines of Zane thinking he was sexy and it completely set Zane off," Blake says, shaking his head when I look at him. "The guy's a complete asshole."

"Definitely," I say.

Chuck writes in his notepad for a few seconds longer before he looks up at the two of us, giving a nod. "Blake, I can't guarantee anonymity for you if we need you to go on record as a witness to this crime. It's a small town - people are bound to talk. Are you willing to give me your phone number anyway, in case we aren't able to get anything concrete from the security footage?"

I look to Blake - whose gaze is flicking between the two of us as though a war is raging inside him. He hesitates for a few seconds - and the breath he lets out in the silence sounds like the weight of the world squeezed it out of him.

He reads out his number to Chuck, the last digit just barely out of his mouth as the front door opens behind us. I turn to look, catching sight of Danny, shrugging his jacket on as he steps outside. My heart sinks at the sight of his jacket.

"Are you leaving?" I ask, trying to keep the desperate whine from my voice. I'm not ready to say goodbye to him yet.

Danny's gaze moves to me and he grins as he shakes his head. "No, I came out here looking for you. What are you…"

He trails off as he shifts his gaze around to the other side of the porch where Chuck and Blake are standing. He's quiet for a second before he looks back to me, his voice lowered on the question. "Are you telling him about Nik?"

I nod. "Yeah. Blake saw it happening."

"Shit," Danny mumbles, looking in Blake's direction. "Are you alright?"

Blake opens and closes his mouth, looking between me and Danny but Chuck speaks before he says anything.

"Did you witness Zane Anderson's earlier behavior before he attacked Nik?" Chuck asks, looking in Danny's direction. "Blake and Dash mentioned that he'd displayed some aggression earlier on toward Nik."

Danny looks to him at the question before he nods. "Yeah, I saw it. He said one thing after another to us but Nik was the one that said something back."

"That's what Dash said as well," Chuck says, writing in his notepad again. From where I'm standing now, I can see that Chuck's written Danny's name down just below Blake's phone number. He looks up at Danny again as he asks, "Are you willing to go on record about the behavior you witnessed prior to the attack?"

"Hell yeah," Danny says, rattling off his phone number when Chuck asks for it.

The front door opens behind us and I turn to look as Kwan and Keith join us on the porch. Kwan looks between everyone gathered around me, giving them a smile before his gaze lands on me.

"Hey, I was looking for you. Tatiana said some of your stuff is in her car. Do you want help moving that inside?" Kwan asks.

"Yeah, cause otherwise this one is gonna look for somewhere private and make out with me," Keith says, smiling at the squawk Kwan makes.

Kwan's face is red when I look at him and he swats Keith on the upper arm. "That is not true."

"It's okay, that was my plan," Danny says, laughing when I look at him.

The front door opens again and Alex joins us on the porch now. I step off the bottom stair and into the grass and he looks to me at the action, his gaze sliding toward Blake. His eyebrows draw down a little but I interject before he can say anything.

"Alex, you remember Blake, right?" I ask, nodding toward him.

Blake offers up a smile but Alex doesn't return it.

"Yes, I remember." He looks to me now. "What are you guys doing out here? You didn't try to lift any of the boxes from my mom's car, did you?"

I shake my head, that familiar heat washing over my face. "No. We were… actually about to get started on that. Do you have her keys?"

Alex looks between us all before his gaze falls on me. "Actually… I'm sure Chuck and I can grab the boxes. And there's not much heavy lifting left to do. But you know what would be a big help?"

"What's that?" I ask.

He looks from me to Danny. "Take Dash furniture shopping."

"Alex, I-"

He cuts me off, pulling out his wallet as he talks. "I don't want to hear it. You're not moving in here without a bed and that's final. So you have to at least bring that home. And a dresser - the closet in your room seems kind of small."

"I'm really okay. I was planning on sleeping on the air mattress tonight," I say, my face flooding with heat at the look he gives me. He doesn't dignify my plan with more than a look before he drops his stare down to his wallet again.

Alex frowns down at his wallet, moving cards and bills out of various pockets. "We got your desk from my mom's garage obviously but if you want a different one or other furniture, get whatever you'd like."

I catch the flash of black as Alex pulls a card from his wallet. He holds it out to Danny instead of me. "Here, I'm trusting you with my credit card. Make sure he brings home at least a bed and dresser. Whatever else he wants, he can get too. Don't worry about the cost and don't let him bullshit you and get nothing."

"You've got it," Danny says, giving him a wink as he takes the card. He pulls out his own wallet and puts Alex's card in it.

"Why don't you boys head off and I'll have Anastasia meet you with the U-haul wherever you end up?" Alex asks, looking to Chuck in the silence. "Come on. I'm gonna grab my mom's keys - you get Ana."

Alex opens the screen door and disappears inside again, quickly followed by Chuck. So it's just the five of us out here now. Danny looks around at all of them before his gaze falls on me. "Okay, who's coming with us?"

I shrug. "I don't care if they all come." I look past Danny at the other three, in quiet conversation. "Do you guys want to come with Danny and me? We're apparently going to look at furniture."

"Sweet, I'm in," Kwan says, taking Keith's hand in his. "And Keith is, too."

I look past Kwan at Blake - tugging on his hair again. "Blake, do you want to come?"

Blake's gaze darts away from me - toward Danny- before he meets my stare again. "I don't know."

"You should come," Danny says, smiling when I look at him. "Really, you should. Come on, I have five seats in my car so we can all ride together."

Blake lets out a quiet breath, looking toward Danny as he asks, his voice quiet on the question. "You sure you want me coming with?"

"Positive," Danny says, grinning as he looks to me. "We can-"

He stops when the door opens behind him and Alex steps back out, a bit of cash in one hand. "Here." He holds the money out toward Danny. "For coffee or lunch if any of you are hungry."

"Ooh, sweet. I was just about to tell them all we could stop for coffee somewhere," Danny says, looking to me with a grin. "We all know how much better we both function when we've got coffee in our system."

"Yeah, that's true." I nod toward the house. "I've gotta put my shoes on, come inside with me for a sec."

Danny gives me a nod, turning toward the others who have all left the porch and are slowly wandering down the lawn toward Danny's car. "My car's unlocked. You guys go ahead and duke it out for who gets which seat in the back." He looks to me at that, a soft smile on his face. "Dash rides shotgun."

"Boo!" Kwan calls, grinning when I look his way.

Danny follows me back inside the house and waits while I put my shoes on. I look up at him as I tie the laces, holding his stare in the silence. Anastasia and Chuck are on the other side of the living room. I'm not sure they can even hear us but I keep my voice low anyway.

"Are you going to be okay taking Blake with us?"

Danny's expression softens but he nods. "Yes. I'm fine with it."

I drop my stare down to my laces again, finishing one shoe before Danny lets out a breath.

"I know what you're thinking. But we talked last night for a while and I… I know I'm making the right choice here. He's been different. And I've seen him changing and I…" He trails off, a sad smile on his face when I look up at him. He lifts one shoulder in a shrug. "Dash, he… he was my first. You know he was my first."

I look away from him at that. He must have anticipated that reaction from me - because he kneels down in front of me, pretending to be adjusting his own shoe.

He gives me a smile when I meet his stare. "It doesn't make me like you any less, okay? But it's the truth. He was my first. And I realized… I realized I'm not the kind of person that can let something like that go so easily." Danny waits a breath before continuing at my silence. "I've been talking about it in therapy and kind of… dissecting why I feel this way. And I know that it's not the easiest thing for most people to understand, given my history with Blake but… he's important to me."

He's right. I don't understand it. But I trust Danny's heart. And if this relationship is something he needs, then I can be okay with it.

"Then he comes with us," I say, rising from my stooped position. I shrug when Danny gives me a smile. "I want to be here for you in the things that you want or need. So if this is one of those things, then… I'm here."

"Thank you." Danny steps closer to me to press his lips to mine, the kiss gentle and lingering.

"Hey," Alex's voice calls out to us and I break away from Danny, my face heating up as I look to Alex. He gives me a grin. "That was cute - sorry I interrupted."

I scoff, looking away from him. "What is it?"

"I just wanted to let Danny know that you never ended up eating any lunch - so make sure you make him eat something, yeah?" Alex asks, giving him a thumbs up when Danny nods. "Alright. See you boys later."

He leaves the house again, followed out by Chuck and Anastasia - who grins as she passes by me. I wait until they're both gone, Tatiana and Kendra's voices softly floating from further in the house before I resume that kiss Alex interrupted.

I slide my arms around Danny, pulling him closer to me - until his chest is against mine and we're breathing in time with each other. He's the one to break away this time, his cheeks flushed a pretty pink color that makes me smile.

"You ready to go?" I ask.

Danny nods, ducking his head as he steps back from me. He intertwines his fingers with mine and pulls me behind him - out of the house and down the driveway. We only part when we reach his car.

I watch him move around the front of his car and get into the driver's seat before I get in the passenger seat. I glance in the back - Kwan's in the middle, holding Keith's hand. Blake's stare is trained out the window, like he's afraid to witness the potential PDA next to him. Same. But still, it's better than Dale and Mitch.

Danny turns the engine on and I watch from the passenger window as the house Alex, Kendra, and I have been talking about for forever disappears from my sight.

I feel the house key through my jeans pocket, unable to keep myself from grinning. And it feels like it's been forever. Feels like I've been waiting a lifetime - but I've finally found a place to call home.

---

We decide on a strip mall not too far from the house. It's got a few different furniture stores inside - and there's a Starbucks at one end of the parking lot. We hit that first.

"Is that the- Kwan, will you hang on a second?" I cut him a glare before I look back to the exhausted looking barista. "Sorry, is that the black coffee?"

"Yeah, here you go," the girl passes the cup over to me and I take it from her, stepping out of the way for Danny. Kwan trails after me over to the condiments counter. He's already hopped up and he's barely had two sips of his frappo-whatever.

"What is with you man?" I ask, giving him a look as I set my coffee down on the counter. "You've been acting like you're on a sugar high since you came by my place."

Kwan's grinning when I look at him. His gaze flicks over to the others before he leans close to me, whispering as he talks. "This is gonna sound lame but… Keith asked me to be exclusive with him - asked me to be his boyfriend."

"That's not lame, are you serious?" I ask, giving him a smile as I tear open a sugar packet. "That's amazing, man. I'm happy for you."

"Yeah, we've been spending the past couple of days looking at colleges that we can both go to. Or rather… that we're hoping we both get into. We've both been accepted into our safety school but… we're waiting to hear back from some of our top choices," he says, letting out a quiet breath. "Which reminds me… have you heard anything back from any of the schools you've applied to?"

I shake my head, stirring the last of the cream into my coffee. "Not exactly. I have a virtual visit scheduled with one college and another college in person visit couple weekends from now."

"Seriously? That's amazing," Kwan says, buffing me on the shoulder with his fist as he continues. "If they're interested in having you look at their campus, then they're interested in you. They don't just invite anyone for a private visit."

"You think?" I ask, looking up at him for a second before I focus on putting the lid on my coffee cup.

Kwan lets out a breath. "Yes, Dash. Both Keith and I have been offered partial scholarships to one college but neither of us were offered a campus visit. Not even a virtual one."

Damn. I guess Coach was right when he told me I should be proud of getting these college visits. I guess… I guess I thought if I was getting something like this, everyone else must be, too. I'm just one part of the team. And my teammates are just as good as me when we're out there on the field.

"I mean… the guys from Amridge basically asked me outright to come play for them but I haven't made up my mind yet," I say, shrugging when I look to Kwan. "I've been a little busy with the move and school and - what?"

Kwan's eyes are bugged wide and he shakes his head when I stop talking. "Amridge is a big deal. I mean, I get you wanting to take your time and think about it and all but… damn. Why didn't you tell me they offered you a scholarship?"

"I don't know." I blow out a breath, leaning against the counter, facing the rest of the people gathered in Starbucks. "The guys there were really… I don't know. I could tell Alex didn't like them."

"Yeah their methods have been questioned before." Kwan nods when I look at him. "It comes up every couple of years but ultimately… they turn college kids into star athletes so… their track record for that is at least consistent."

Blake steps out of line, approaching us with a cup of coffee. I step out of his way as he sets it down on the condiment counter.

"Jeez, you think they could have filled this any fuller?" he asks, tilting the cup so some of it runs into the drain. "I told her to leave room for sugar. What does she think I put in here - a single granule?"

I snort, lifting my own cup to my mouth to take a sip.

"What are you guys talking about?" he asks, ripping open a packet of sugar and dumping it into his coffee. "I saw Kwan getting very animated."

"I was not," Kwan says, grinning anyway.

I sip from my coffee again. It's still a little too hot to really enjoy so I go back to blowing on it. "We were talking about college."

"Oh yeah? You telling him about Amridge?" Blake asks, stirring in the sugar before ripping open a second packet.

I shift away from the counter. "I didn't tell you about that."

He nods, tossing the empty sugar packets in the trash can before selecting a few creamer pods. "Yeah, I know. They called me the week after you visited. Told me that you'd been out there and asked if I'd reconsider a visit, too."

"And you didn't go?" I ask.

Blake shakes his head, glancing toward Kwan at the noise he makes. "What?"

Kwan looks between us before he settles on Blake. "Amridge is a great school. Why aren't you even giving it a chance?"

He shrugs, dumping the creamers into his coffee before ditching them both in the trashcan. He stirs the creamer in for a few seconds, leaving us in silence. Only when he's done and pitches the coffee stirrer does he talk.

"Cause they want me to play ball. And I'm not interested." He snaps the lid on his coffee before picking it up from the counter. He looks between Kwan and I but doesn't offer more than a shrug.

Kwan's eyebrows are drawn down, like he doesn't understand. "But you… you love football."

"No, I really don't," Blake says, shaking his head again. "High school was fine. Kept me out of the house. But college is… I mean college ball is a big deal. And it's not what I want to do with my life. And I know if I take a scholarship and commit to four more years, I'll… it's just not my plan."

He blows on his coffee, not looking at either one of us as Danny and Keith come to join us.

"You guys ready?" Danny asks. He picks up on the heavy tension hanging in the air and his eyebrows pinch together. "Is something wrong?"

"Nope. Let's get on with some shopping," Blake says, glancing at me and Kwan before he nods toward the door.

Danny watches him go, Keith trailing after him before he looks back at me. I shake my head and nod toward the other two. And Kwan starts after me and Danny, the three of us taking up the rear as Keith and Blake start off into the parking lot.

"Did Blake say something?" Danny asks, his voice low on the question.

Keith turns around, his gaze searching for Kwan. He smiles when he spots Kwan, beckoning him forward. "Come here, walk with me."

Kwan gives me a gentle, embarrassed smile before he slips away, joining his boyfriend up ahead. I wait until they're a few paces ahead of us before I look to Danny.

"It's nothing. Blake was just telling us that he's not playing ball in college," I say.

"Oh. Did he say why?" Danny asks, frowning when I shake my head. "Hmm… I wonder why not."

"The only thing he said was that it's not what he wanted to do with his life," I say.

Danny shrugs, sipping on his coffee before he looks at me. He smiles then, reaching down to take my hand in his. "Well… let's not think about that right now. Let's go look at some furniture. Pick out a nice bed that you can do world rocking things to me in."

I choke over my coffee, spitting it out of my mouth and onto the parking lot.

Kwan looks over his shoulder at us but Danny just laughs loudly, grinning wickedly when I look at him.

"Cut it out, will you?" I ask, wiping my chin free of the coffee I drooled down myself.

Danny grins, a gleam in his eyes. "Why don't you just make me?"

Oh, don't think I won't, Fenton.

---

I find a bed I like in the third store we look in, so I text Anastasia to let her know where we are. Danny swipes Alex's credit card and has the store hold it for us to pick up when Anastasia gets here.

Danny keeps us moving from store to store and the five of us make the most of the time we have. I pick out a dresser in the fourth store and Danny tries to convince me to get this hideous egg chair. He only backs down when Blake calls it tacky. Danny mumbles something about Blake having no taste and Blake rolls his eyes.

My phone rings and I slip it from my back pocket. Ana's name is lighting up my screen and I answer the call, propping it between my ear and shoulder.

"Hey," I answer the call with.

Ana lets out a breath. "Alright, kid. I've got the bed loaded in the U-Haul. Where are you?"

"Some place called Kirk's - it's two doors down from where you are," I say, shaking my head when Kwan holds up this ugly bedazzled football, giving me an obnoxious grin as he presents it to me.

"Okay, yeah. I'll be right there." She ends the call and I pull my phone away, sliding it back into my back pocket.

I look to Kwan. "That's hideous."

"I know, right?" Kwan says, grinning as he looks to it. "But also it's kind of everything? There's something about it I love."

Danny and Blake have wandered a little bit away, looking at various trinkets displayed on the shelves. I almost call out to them but I can see Danny talking quietly and Blake nodding occasionally so I leave them to their conversation. I look back to Kwan, who's still admiring the football.

Keith comes up behind him and lets out a snort, earning Kwan's attention. "Kwan, that's horrendous. Tell me you're not getting that."

"And what if I do?" Kwan asks, grinning as he looks back at Keith.

Keith raises an eyebrow. "You'll have to cover it with a blanket when I come over."

"I'm on Keith's side," I say, grinning at the look of utter betrayal on Kwan's face.

"What? This thing is beautiful - you want me to hide something like that away?" Kwan asks, looking back to the football. "It's so shiny. And I like it so… I might actually get it."

Keith lets out a breath. "Fine, get it if you want it. But we're covering it when I come over."

"How come?" Kwan asks, barely glancing back at Keith as he sets it down on the shelf again.

"Because I'm not fucking you with that thing watching me," Keith says.

Oh my god, ew. That's more than I needed to hear.

Kwan makes a spluttering noise and Keith raises an eyebrow. He grins when Kwan looks over his shoulder at him. "I'm sorry… was that too forward?"

Kwan's saved from having to dignify that with a response as Anastasia calls my name from across the store. I look back toward the sound of her voice but she's already headed in my direction.

"Hey kid," she greets, coming to a stop a few paces from me. "Anything here you're gonna make me load?"

I nod and drain the last of my coffee. "I found a dresser. I've gotta go pay for it."

"That's cool. What do you say we load this up and get out of here?" Anastasia asks, nodding toward the front of the store. "We've still gotta go home and put this shit together. And something tells me that Alex is gonna draft me into helping."

I laugh at the expression on her face. "Don't worry - I'll let you off easy and you can just hang out upstairs and pretend to be helping."

Ana rolls her eyes. "Like Alex won't see right through that." She nods toward my friends. "You round up the idiots and meet me at the dressers. I'm gonna flag down an employee to get a dolly."

I watch as she leaves before I turn back to the others. "I'm going to the dressers - Ana's meeting me there with a dolly."

Keith waves me on, following after Kwan with a grin. "You go ahead. We'll meet you guys at the front of the store."

Great - I don't want to even think about what they're slinking off to go do.

I shake my head, trying to clear my mind of those thoughts. "Danny, Blake - you two coming with me?"

Blake looks up from the keychain stand he's browsing and frowns in Keith and Kwan's direction. "Spare me from that. I'll go with you."

"Same here," Danny says, grinning as he jogs the space between us. He slips his hand into mine when he's close enough and we start off for the dressers together.

Anastasia's already there, propped up against a dolly, an exasperated employee standing behind her. "Alright, kid. Which one is it?"

"That one on the end," Danny says, pointing out the box to Anastasia. She turns to look where he's pointing and lets go of the dolly.

"Ma'am - you're really supposed to have someone help you lift that. Ma'am, I-"

Anastasia picks up the box by herself, moving past the employee to load it onto the dolly. When she sets it down, she turns back to look at the employee. "Look, I don't come in here and tell you how to do your job, alright? If I want to lift this, I'm going to."

He looks between the three of us before shaking his head. He doesn't offer anything further, he just leaves - headed in the direction of the checkout. Anastasia nods toward him and leans the dolly back to wheel it to checkout. Danny and I start after her and we're only an aisle away when I come to a stop, something on the end of an aisle catching my attention.

Danny's hand pulls taut in my own and he comes to a stop. His gaze shifts to where mine is. "Hey, what are you looking at?"

I hesitate too long to pass it off as nothing. And… I think I want to collect some of the books Mr. Lancer's been letting me borrow. I think I'd like to reread some of them someday. And it'd be nice to have a place to keep them in my room.

"You want a bookshelf, kid?" Anastasia asks, leaning against the dolly when I look her way. She looks from me to the boxes. "Get the dark brown - it'll match your bed. Danny, grab one of the boxes, will you?"

Danny lets go of my hand and slides the box from the shelf.

"Thank you," I say, the heat blossoming across my face watching Danny have to carry shit for me.

He looks toward me but there's no sympathy in his gaze. He just gives me a smile before he moves over to Anastasia, loading it onto the same dolly with the dresser.

"Alright, let's check out. Get the others," Ana says, starting for the front of the store.

I look to Danny - but he's the only one here, Blake's disappeared again. "Did you see where Blake went?"

He shakes his head. "No, I didn't. Maybe just text him?"

"Yeah, you're right," I take Danny's hand, grinning at the smile he gives me. It takes me longer to send a text to the other three, letting them know we're heading out but it's worth it.

"I think Alex will probably still make you go out tomorrow and look for more shit," Anastasia says to me as we come to a stop in the checkout line. She turns to look at me over her shoulder at the noise I make. "What is it?"

I shake my head. "Nothing, it's just… been a long week already. I kinda want to spend tomorrow just chilling."

"Yeah, that's what I told him," Ana says, moving ahead in line before she continues. "Don't worry. I'll tell Kendra you want to stay home tomorrow - she won't let Alex take you anywhere. He gives in to her every time."

I don't get a chance to respond before we're next in line. I see Blake headed in our direction, followed by Keith and Kwan. I wave to get his attention and Danny turns to look.

Kwan comes up to the counter, depositing a massive bag of M&M's and a couple of sodas on the end of the counter. He looks at me with his face flushed. "I-I'm gonna pay for those, I wasn't trying to stick them on Alex's card."

"He's not gonna care," Ana says, looking over her shoulder at Kwan. "Push them forward, I'll ring them up."

I let go of Danny's hand and move the candy and sodas onto the conveyor belt before Kwan can stop me and they move up to where Anastasia's standing.

Blake comes to a stop on the other side of Danny, giving the two of us a look. His voice is quiet when he speaks. "I caught Keith and Kwan going at it like animals on one of the display beds."

Kwan makes another spluttering noise, blushing furiously when I look at him. He speaks quickly, in a hushed whisper. "It wasn't on the display bed! We were standing next to it, I-I just leaned against it for a second!"

"Dude," I say, grinning at the expression on his face. I turn to look at Keith - who doesn't look embarrassed at all. He's grinning same as me, his gaze on Kwan's flushed face.

"Alright losers, let's get out of here," Anastasia says, oblivious to the obscene things my best friend's capable of being lured into doing in a department store. She nods toward the exit, pushing the dolly on our way into the front door.

I follow her out to the U-haul even though I know she won't help me lift it in there with her. Keith's the one to help her load the two boxes inside. He jumps down from the back of the truck and when he lands, I notice something in the U-haul next to the bed I picked out.

"What's that?" I ask, pointing to it when Ana looks toward me. "That thing leaning against the bed."

She lets out a scoff, turning to me with an eye roll. "That is a mattress. I showed up at the pick-up zone expecting to pick up a bed frame and a mattress. But you only bought the frame, you dingus."

"Oh… sorry," I mumble, the heat on my face as I look away from her.

Ana gently punches me on the shoulder. "Stop it, you're fine. Now come on, let's go back to the house and you can draft some of these idiots into helping you put furniture together."

She slides the door to the U-haul closed and flicks the lock closed. She looks toward me and lets out a breath before leaning across the space between us to give me a hug. She holds tightly for a few seconds before letting me go. "See you at home, kid."

Home… that word means something entirely different to me now. It's no longer the place I'll be avoiding punches and ugly words for the rest of my life. It's breakfast with Alex and Kendra and coming home to people that actually want to be around me.

I watch her move the dolly away from the U-haul and start pushing it toward the front door. It's only when Danny's hand touches my own that I look away from her. Danny smiles when I meet his gaze and he nods toward the other side of the parking lot.

"Come on," he says, leading me by the hand through the parking lot and to the passenger side of his Equus. He turns to face me, pulling me into a soft, gentle kiss.

And it's moments like this that I can't help but think how lucky I am. After all the shit Dad's done, it's hard to believe that I'm here. Standing in a parking lot, kissing my boyfriend. Kids like me don't typically get people like Danny - we don't get homes like the one I have with Alex and Kendra now. Kids like me are usually just lucky to make it out alive.

---

Anastasia beats us back to the house. Tatiana's car is gone from the driveway when Danny parks his car at the edge of the lawn.

"Oh… Tatiana must have gone home," I say, nodding to the empty space on the other side of Alex's Charger.

Danny looks to the driveway and gives a nod. "Yeah, she mentioned not being around for long today. Sorry - I know you like being around her."

He opens his door at the same time Keith opens the back door. I unbuckle my seat belt and follow them out of the car.

"Do you need help unloading the furniture?" Keith calls out to Anastasia.

She shakes her head but Keith jogs up the driveway to get to her anyway. Kwan touches my shoulder, giving me a smile as he steps past me. "I'm gonna help him."

I watch Kwan move up the driveway to join Keith - I wish I was helping unload this shit, too. But… I don't want to fuck up my rib worse than I already have.

"Who's Tatiana?" Blake asks, shutting the door behind him.

"She's Alex's mom," I say, closing the passenger door. "She was here earlier - but you weren't inside so… you never even saw her."

Blake lets out a quiet breath. "Speaking of inside… I haven't actually seen your place yet."

"Oh yeah. Come on, I'll show you around while they do the heavy lifting," I say, trying to joke off the ache in my gut at not being able to help. I don't miss Blake's eyebrows drawing together but I look toward Danny anyway. "You wanna come, too?"

Danny lifts one shoulder. "You guys go on ahead. I'll catch up."

"Okay," I say and lean across the space between us to press my lips to his.

He pulls away with a grin. "Go. I'll be right behind you."

I can't help my own grin as I look to Blake. "Come on. And sorry for the PDA."

Blake makes a face. "That was nothing compared to Keith and Kwan in the store."

"Yeah, can't say I'm sorry to have missed that," I say, laughing at the eye roll he gives me.

The front door's still unlocked - and Chuck's in the living room, phone to his ear. He turns back to look at us when the screen door closes.

"Oh, hey boys. I was just calling Anastasia to find out where you guys were," he says, pulling the phone away from his ear.

"She's outside unloading furniture," I say, jerking my thumb back toward the driveway.

Chuck looks past me, at the front door. "Yeah? Are your friends helping her?"

"Um… yeah, they are," I say, trying really hard to not be embarrassed that I can't be out there helping, too.

Chuck must get something from my expression because he gives me a sympathetic smile. "Don't worry about it. I'll go see if she needs another set of hands."

I turn to watch him go but Blake catches my attention as he wanders further into the living room. He gets two steps ahead of me before he looks over his shoulder. "So… do you want to show me what's downstairs or just your room?"

I nod to the other side of the living room. "At least the kitchen - I wanna grab a soda."

Blake falls back and lets me lead him to the kitchen. I hear Alex's laughter before we even hit the kitchen - and the sound makes me smile.

Alex notices me as soon as I step into the kitchen. His expression brightens and he pushes away from the counter he's leaning against.

"Dash, hey. I didn't know you were headed home." He crosses the kitchen over to me and pulls me into a hug. "Did you have a good time?"

I hug him back tightly. "Yeah, I did."

Alex pulls away, searching my expression before he gives me a nod. "Good, I'm glad." His gaze drifts away from me, toward Blake - a small crease appearing between his eyebrows, like before. "Hey there… it's Blake, right?"

"Yes, sir," Blake says, hesitating before he extends his hand toward Alex. "W-We met before."

Alex looks down to Blake's outstretched hand before he accepts the handshake. "Yes. I remember - quite vividly."

Blake's face is red when I look to him and I decide to save him from this awkward encounter. "We're just grabbing some sodas and sustenance - we're heading upstairs to build furniture."

"Oh yeah?" Alex asks, taking a step back to lean against the counter. "What'd you get?"

I open the fridge, taking out a Dr. Pepper for myself. "A bed, bookshelf, dresser…" I turn to look at Blake over my shoulder. "What soda do you want?"

He lifts one shoulder in a shrug. "Whatever you have is fine."

"Coke or Dr. Pepper?" I ask, taking out another Dr. Pepper when he merely shrugs in response again. "Alright - have some of the good stuff then."

"Thanks," Blake says quietly, taking the soda from me.

I hear the front door open, Kwan's laugh sounding from outside - and I look toward the sound.

Alex lets out a breath. "Why don't you head upstairs? Dash'll meet you up in a minute."

His gaze is on Blake when I look to him and though Blake looks between us, he disappears without a word. The stairs don't creak here but I still listen for his footsteps all the way up the stairs.

"So Blake, huh?" Alex asks, frowning at my silence. "Is he gonna be around more often?"

I shrug, taking a sip of my Dr. Pepper before I respond. "Maybe. Why? That's… not a problem, is it?"

Alex shakes his head. "I don't know. I don't really appreciate what he did. You know… to Danny."

He puts emphasis on Danny's name - like I could forget for one second the shit that Blake pulled. But it's in the past - Danny's laid it to rest and every day, I find myself putting it to rest, too. What Blake did was fucked up, we're not denying that. But I'm not going to spend the rest of my life giving him shit about it - not if he truly has changed.

"I don't appreciate it either," I say, holding Alex's stare as I talk. "But what's done is done. And he's my friend."

Alex tsks softly. There's something in his eyes that tells me he has more to say about this but I beat him to it.

"He found Nik last night," I say, this flush racing through me at the way Alex freezes. His lips part slightly in clear surprise and it makes me say more. "He chased off the guys that were beating the shit out of Nik. He's the reason Nik made it to the hospital at all."

Alex holds my stare as he lets out a breath. "Shit. Did he… did he see who it was?"

"Yeah. I had him tell Chuck," I say, lifting one shoulder in a shrug. "Blake's a good person. He just did shitty things in the past."

He looks away from me at that but doesn't say anything further. So I step past him, heading toward the exit.

"I'm going to go put together some furniture," I say.

He nods, not looking my way as he answers. "Yeah… have fun. I'll see you for dinner soon."

"See you then," I say, leaving the kitchen and rounding the corner to the bottom of the stairs.

I'm two steps up when Alex calls my name. He's at the bottom of the stairs when I turn back to look at him - and when he speaks, he's quiet with the words.

"Please be careful with the furniture up there. I don't want you to overdo it and hurt yourself," Alex says, frowning when I nod. "If your friends need an extra pair of hands up there, please come get me instead of trying to lift anything, okay?"

I know it's the conversation we just shared still weighing on my chest - but for a split second, I almost consider blowing him off. But he's right - and for fuck's sake, he's just looking out for me.

"Yeah, of course. I'm pretty much just gonna sit on my ass and read out the instructions," I say, grinning at the relieved laugh that escapes Alex. "Don't worry about me, I've got this."

He nods, stepping back from the staircase. "Alright, go. Have fun."

I make it up the stairs and into my bedroom this time. Blake's already on the floor - an open box and wooden pieces strewn about on the floor around him. Someone's installed a curtain rod above my windows, these beige curtains hung up but parted to let the sun in. I wonder if Kendra picked those out for me - or if they're just supposed to be temporary.

"Alright, what'd you open first?" I ask, sinking down on the floor next to Blake.

He looks up from the instruction booklet with a frown. "The bed. It looks straightforward enough but look at how long these screws are!"

I take the packet he holds out to me. They stretch the length of my palm, with little hexagon shapes indented in the top. "Oh yeah, I know these. My dad and I used them when we put my dresser together a couple years ago."

The words leave my mouth and I see Blake's mouth moving in response but my hearing's gone completely - the weight of that dresser is on me again. And I'm on my bedroom floor - my real bedroom floor, pinned beneath it, Dad standing over me.

"…need? Dash?" Alex's voice breaks through the silence and I look toward the sound of his voice. There's concern etched into every feature on his face.

I'm at the bottom of the staircase, my heart like a jackhammer in my chest. His gaze drifts up the stairs before falling on me again.

"You said you needed something?" Alex asks, cupping my elbow in his hand. His voice is quiet when he speaks. "Are you alright?"

I'm still clutching that packet of screws in my hand - so tightly I think the indent's gonna be permanently grooved into my palm. I don't remember coming down the stairs. And Alex is watching me carefully, waiting on my answer and I can hear my friends drawing ever closer and honesty runs far from me in this moment.

"Yeah, I-I… I realized we're gonna need a… a power drill," I say, the words leaving my mouth slowly.

Alex watches me for a second longer before he nods. "Okay. My tools are in a box in the living room - let me grab it for you."

He squeezes my elbow again and steps back from me - and I unconsciously follow him into the living room. This is weird - it's like I blacked out. Or at least my mind did, my body apparently kept it together long enough to get me down the stairs. But now that I'm standing with Alex, my knees have gone weak, breaths shakier and shakier.

"Alright, here it is. Don't let anyone break it," Alex says, giving me a smile with the words. The expression slips for a second when he meets my stare. "Are you sure you're okay? You're really pale."

I don't want to lie to him - but I don't even know what that was. And I was fine.

"Yeah, it's all good. Thanks for… for the drill," I say, taking it from him when he holds it out to me. "I'll call you if we need help moving the furniture around my room."

Alex nods, placing his hand on my shoulder. He looks like he doesn't want to let me go just yet so I step back from him. When I get to the stairs, I look up to find Blake standing at the top of them. His expression's just as concerned as Alex's.

"What was that?" he asks in a whisper when I get to the top of the stairs. "You just bolted."

I shake my head and he moves back on the landing, giving me room to join him up there. He follows me from the landing back into my bedroom and sits next to me on the carpet.

I look down at the instruction booklet but it might as well be an entirely different language in this moment. Blake moves closer to me, reading over the instructions now, too.

"Okay we need side A and side B over here. We'll use these short dowels here to hold them in place," Blake says, leaning in front of me to grab a long wooden piece. He slides it closer to us before he sits next to me again.

Silence descends between us and I look for the other piece we need but I've already forgotten what letter he said. So I just sit, my gaze drifting around aimlessly at the parts spread out before us. My hand's gone numb around the packet of screws and I finally unclench my fist, peeling the packet away from my hand and letting it drop to the floor. There's an imprint in my palm, shaped just like the screws.

"Just… so you know, I've dealt with panic attacks before," Blake says, his voice soft on the words.

I start at that, breath catching in my throat. "I don't know what you're talking about."

He nods, not looking at me as he slides another piece closer to us. "I know. But I know what I'm talking about so… so you should know that if it's ever… like that for you, just know that you can reach out."

I don't care what he's dealt with before. This isn't that. I can't still be panicking over every little thing. I'm supposed to be getting better.

Blake's silent for a few seconds before he slides one of the pieces in front of me. "Hold this steady. I'll attach this other side to it." He waits until my shaky hands are braced against the piece before he adds dowel rods to the end and slides the other wooden piece into place.

"Perfect. You can let go of it, we gotta do the other side now," Blake says, moving further back on the carpet as he looks to the instruction booklet again.

I move closer to him, my heart hammering wildly as I say it. "Thanks."

He looks up at me and his expression tells me he gets that the word has nothing to do with the furniture. He holds my stare for a few seconds before he nods, dropping his stare down to the instructions again.

This is why Blake and I used to be so close. Cause he's always been good with my silence and few stilted words. He's never needed a long conversation from me before - maybe because he gets exactly what I'm going through. And maybe I shouldn't have started dodging his calls when he started acting so weird in sophomore year.

Maybe if I'd continued hanging out with him like before, maybe he wouldn't have done what he did to Danny.

But maybe if he hadn't… we wouldn't be sitting here like this right now. And it's selfish as hell but… I'm really glad he's here today. Despite everything, I'm glad we're talking again. Cause I fucking missed him and how much he gets all this fucking shit I go through. We both go through.

---

Danny joins us upstairs after a few minutes, and Keith and Kwan are quick to follow. The five of us get the bed and bookshelf put together in no time - but I can't bring myself to open the new dresser. I still feel that indent of those screws in my palm. So I leave it in its box, propped against the wall.

"Do you want help unpacking your stuff?" Blake asks, rocking back on his heels as his stare drifts around my room.

I lift one shoulder in a shrug, looking toward the boxes we packed up that day in my bedroom. I remember just dumping containers and drawers full of shit into boxes cause I couldn't stand looking at it anymore. And I'm not sure I'm ready to break any of them open right now.

"No, I need to… sort through some of the shit I took with me," I say, not meeting Danny's stare when he looks my way. "Maybe we should go downstairs and see if there's anything we can help with?"

Kwan gives me a thumbs up but Blake speaks before I can move toward the door.

"What's that?" he asks, nudging a box with his foot. It's different than the others stacked around it, kind of old and weathered looking. "It says 3-6 months?"

I look to the box, lifting one shoulder in a shrug. "I don't know. Doesn't look familiar."

It's definitely old, creases and wrinkles zig-zag along the sides of it like it's been sitting under something heavy for years. I crouch next to it and unfold the flaps on the top. It's half-filled with a bunch of clothes but they're… kid's clothes. Well not kid's clothes, more like baby clothes.

"Maybe someone put this up here by mistake?" I say it like a question, looking up at the others.

Danny makes a soft noise. "Huh. It says 'Nik' on the side."

I spin the box to look where Danny's pointed. Nik's name is clearly printed on the side in a quick, slanted handwriting. His name twists my gut, the image of his bruised and marked up face staring back at me. Grinning despite the obvious pain we could all see tearing through him. Fuck. This is so bizarre. How'd it end up in my room?

"I'll just take it down to Alex - he'll know why it's here," I say, picking up the box as I rise from my crouched position. I try hard not to think about the state he's in right now as I cross the landing and start down the staircase.

I lead the way down the stairs and into the living room - but Alex isn't there. Behind me, I hear Keith talking softly but I don't catch what he's saying. And I leave the others behind in the living room, going into the kitchen instead.

Kendra's standing at one of the kitchen counters, her back to me as she stacks plates on one side of the counter.

Alex is sitting on a stool he's pushed up to the kitchen island, a grin on his face at something Chuck's saying. He looks past Chuck when he notices me, his grin widening.

"Hey, kiddo. What's up?" he asks, spinning on his stool to face me. "Your friends need help moving furniture?"

I shake my head and shift the box in my arms. "No. I found this box in my room but it's not mine. It says… Nik's name on the side?"

That smile on Alex's face slips and I wonder if he's doing what I did - picturing Nik lying on the couch, all bloodied up.

"Yeah, that's… stuff from when he was a kid," Alex says, letting out a breath. "Someone must have accidentally grabbed it from my mom's garage earlier."

"Oh. Okay, do you want me to put it somewhere?" I ask.

He shakes his head and leaves his stool. "No. I'll take it… put it in my car. Run it over to my mom's place later."

"I can do it for you," Chuck says, his voice soft on the words. He leaves his stool and gives a nod when he earns Alex's stare. "Let me."

Alex is quiet for a few seconds - but he shakes his head and crosses the kitchen over to me. He takes the box without a word and leaves the kitchen.

I turn to watch him go, not entirely sure of what just happened.

Kendra turns away from the counter she's standing at, giving me a smile before her gaze shifts past me. "Hey, boys. Do you want cookies?" She brandishes a plate of chocolate chip cookies out toward us.

"Sure. Thank you," Danny says, leaning past me to snag one from the plate. He nudges my arm but I don't move toward the plate.

Keith and Kwan join him in taking one - but Blake doesn't. Not until I reach forward and snag one for him and hold it out toward him. His voice is quiet as he thanks me and it's… odd. I don't remember him acting this way around my parents. Then again, he only ever saw my parents a handful of times at games.

"Thanks for all your help today, boys," Kendra says, giving my friends a smile. "Alex and I want to have a barbecue in a few weeks when the weather starts to warm up. You guys should come over - bring your families."

Kwan takes another cookie. "Sure. That sounds like fun."

Kendra gives him a smile.

"It does. And I'm glad we were able to come by today. But… we really should be heading out," Keith adds, giving me a smile when I look his way. "Thanks for having us."

"Yeah, of course man," I say, bumping my knuckles against his when he holds his fist out. "We should hang out again soon."

"Definitely," Keith says, his gaze drifting to Kwan. "Can I give you a ride home? Or do you want to stay?"

Kwan's face is flushed but he manages to eek out a response. "Y-Yeah, you can drop me off."

"Cool. We'll see you Monday then," Keith says, looking past me at the others. "Bye Danny, bye Blake."

"Bye, see you Monday," Danny says, giving a wave.

Blake looks in their direction with a nod. "See you Monday."

"Let me walk you out," I say, finishing off my cookie as I follow them out of the kitchen and through the living room again. The maze of boxes is now just a few of them left and it's obvious that everyone's been working on getting this shit where it belongs while we've been building my furniture.

I walk down the length of the driveway, the pavement cold even through my socks and wait in the street as Kwan and Keith catch up to me.

"Congrats on the new home by the way," Keith says, giving me a gentle smile when I meet his stare. "I'm glad you've got somewhere to call home."

I feel the heat on my face. "Thank you."

Keith nods and spares a look Kwan's way before he nods to the car. "Take your time. I'm just gonna warm up the car."

Kwan watches him go and the look on his face is the definition of puppy love. And it's fucking adorable.

"Man, he's got you bad," I say, grinning when Kwan flushes.

"Yeah, yeah. Like you're not just as attracted to Danny," Kwan says, leaning against Keith's truck. His grin fades into something a little sadder. "I'm really glad you live here now."

I get the unspoken message - glad I'm not trying to tough it out with Dad.

"Yeah, it's a great place," I say, dodging the unspoken words like always. I catch the quirk of his eyebrows and look away from it, not ready to talk about the Dad shit again so soon.

Alex is standing by his car, his back door open - the flaps on that box of Nik's baby stuff raised. Huh… I wonder why he's going through that stuff.

I still think my gut instinct inside might be right - I think Alex is still picturing the state Nik was in when we saw him earlier today. But… something's nagging at me, telling me that there's more to it than that.

"I wish I could help him," I say, not entirely sure I mean to say the words out loud. I look back to Kwan and he gives me a sympathetic nod. "I don't even know what's going on or what he's struggling with but it's… it's really hard watching someone you care about go through their shit alone, you know?"

Kwan makes a soft noise, a faint smile on his face. "Yeah, I know. And I remember it wasn't that long ago when you were the one going through stuff and wouldn't let me help."

I feel the heat on my face and I look away from him. "That wasn't what I meant…"

"I know," Kwan says, nudging my foot with his shoe. "But it's true."

"Yeah… I know," I say, letting out a breath as I look back to him. "I've… kind of always wondered… at what point did you realize what was really going on with me?"

Kwan lets out a breath, turning his gaze to the sky above. He's quiet for a minute or two - and when he speaks, his voice is soft.

"In fifth grade." He drops his stare to mine, giving me a nod. "You came by my house to spend the night and you had a bruise on your face. You told me that you ran your bike into a tree and hit your face on the handlebars."

I let out a breath, dropping my stare to the pavement below us. "Yeah… that sounds like a classic me lie."

"Yeah… and I believed you, like always. But when you fell asleep that night, I saw bruises on your stomach." Kwan gives me a sympathetic smile when I meet his stare again. "I didn't say anything for a while cause I figured… you'd tell me eventually."

We both know how that worked out. Didn't tell him until my first hospital trip. At the end of fifth grade.

"I'm sorry I didn't say anything sooner," I say, immediately getting a frown in response.

"No, don't be sorry. You deserved to tell me when you were ready," Kwan says, a heavy breath leaving him. I catch the tears in his eyes as he looks away from me and the sight sends a jolt through me. "Dash, I'm… I'm really glad that you're here now. That you don't… ever have to go home to him."

My heart aches at the shake in his voice. At all the worry he's carried for me all these years he's known me. He was just a kid when he learned the truth of what Dad was doing to me - and he's held that secret for me.

"Me, too," I say in a whisper, my own eyes stinging when Kwan looks back at me. But I can't stop the grin despite the tears and it has him grinning, too. And I don't know which one of us reaches for the other but I hug him tightly, my chin on his shoulder and a quiet laugh passes between us.

Because this is what we wanted since we were kids - for me to make it out. And this wasn't what we pictured and definitely not the way I thought it'd work out but I did it. I made it out. And I get to spend the rest of my life with people that care about me.

---

I'm watching as Keith pulls his truck away from the house when the front door opens behind me. I look over my shoulder and see Blake coming out of the house and down the driveway.

He passes by Alex, barely glancing his way before he continuing down the driveway. He catches sight of me still standing in the road and I give him a wave.

Blake glances at his car parked on the other side of the street before he starts for me. "Hey. Keith and Kwan leave?"

I nod, rocking back on the balls of my feet. "You're not leaving yet, right?"

"Actually, I am," he says, dropping his stare as the words leave him. "It's just… better if I get home before my parents do."

Damn, I don't miss that feeling - racing home before either of my parents could realize I'd left.

"Yeah, I understand," I say. I nod toward the house at his silence. "Did you tell Danny you were leaving?"

He nods.

"Thanks for coming by today," I say, going in for the fist bump. I stop short of touching his hand and opt for a hug instead, earning a surprised 'oof' from Blake as I pull him against my chest. "We should hang out again soon."

"Yeah, sure." He pulls away from me then, letting out a quiet breath. "Alright, well… I'll see you Monday."

I actually give him a fist bump this time and turn to watch him move down into the street and cross it to get to his car.

Just as Blake's shut himself away in the car, I hear the front door open behind me. I turn to look and catch sight of Chuck coming out of the house, heading straight for Alex - who's still standing frozen by his car.

I want to go to Alex, see if I can help him in any way. But Chuck's with him and I don't think Alex will say a word if I'm there. So I pass them by and head back into the house instead.

I hear Kendra's laughter sounding from the kitchen as soon as I step inside. I let the door shut behind me and head in that direction, hoping Danny's with her.

Kendra shifts her gaze from Ana to me, the grin on her face never leaving. "Hey, your friends leave?"

"Yeah." I look past Ana but the kitchen's empty. "Do you know where Danny went?"

"He went up into your room."

"Okay, thanks," I say, ducking out of the kitchen and taking the stairs two at a time. My bedroom door's slightly ajar and I draw in a breath, steeling myself before I push it open the rest of the way.

Danny's standing by the windows, a can of Coke in his hand. I push the door open all the way, letting it gently hit the wall so I don't startle him.

He turns to look at the noise and I'm greeted with a grin.

"Hey," I say, the word quiet now that we're alone. It feels like it's been a lifetime since he showed up this morning. I was in a completely different headspace then cause of all the shit I heard about Nik.

Danny steps away from the window, meeting me in the middle of my bedroom floor. "Hey yourself."

I kiss him and he fits against me so perfectly. I love that he's here - love that he gave up an entire Saturday to be with me. To help me move my shit into the place I'm now gonna call my home.

"Thank you," I mumble against his lips, breaking apart only a second or two before I'm kissing him again.

Danny lets me kiss him again before he pulls away, mumblings words against my lips now. "For what?"

"This. Coming by today. Helping out." I press kisses between each sentence, loving the soft moan I'm getting in response. "Just thank you. It means a lot."

He pulls away from me with a quiet laugh. "Okay, okay - you've made your point. You're welcome," he says with a grin. "I'm just glad you let me help. Sometimes… it feels like you don't want my help with anything."

I almost shy away from that - we've had this conversation before. But he's not entirely wrong this time. But I don't always need his help. I might be going through a rough patch but I used to do this by myself all the time. I'm still getting used to people actually being there for me when I need them.

"You know… there is something else you could do. If you want to," I say, breath sticking in my throat.

Danny tilts his head to one side in the most adorable way. "Yeah? What's that?"

"You could spend the night."

The words come out of me in a rush. And I watch the momentary confusion on his face disappear - blossoming into that pretty pink color I love so much.

"Oh… kay. Um… so, I'm not… I mean it's like you're… uhh…" Danny stammers and stutters over his sentences for a few seconds and I can't help but grin.

I loop my index finger through one of his belt loops, pulling him closer to me. "What? Didn't expect me to ask you this so soon?"

He opens his mouth without a sound twice more before he finally lets out a heavy breath and meets my stare. "It's not that I'm not flattered, I am. But I just don't know… if now's the right time."

"Oh."

The urge to tease him leaves me instantly and I let go of his belt loop, stepping back from him. Danny grabs my hand with both of his before I can get far.

"Trust me, there's nothing I'd rather do than stay here with you but it's… I just think… that it's important for you to spend time here without me," he says, letting out a quiet breath at my silence. "With Alex and Kendra. O-Or by yourself. It's… your new place is supposed to be a sanctuary for you. And I just… want to make sure that it can be that for you."

"Why can't it still be that even if you're here?" I ask, all too aware of the unsteadiness in my voice.

Danny lets out a quiet breath. "It can be. But I think it's important that your first night here is about you… and not us."

I hate that he's right. Hate that I know he's right.

"Why do you have to make so much sense?" I mumble, running my hand down my face.

Danny laughs softly. "I know. Believe me, I'd like nothing more than to get in your bed and let you do all kinds of things to me."

"You know… you might want to keep your voice down when other people are in the house."

I turn around at the sound of someone else and see Anastasia leaning against the doorframe, grinning at the pair of us. I glance back to Danny, who's gone completely red in the face.

"What do you want?" I ask.

Ana just grins. "I'm just saying, kid - you two are making it real easy to blackmail you if I wanted to."

"Yeah, yeah," I say, ignoring the way my face has started to burn. "Did you guys finish unpacking downstairs?"

She nods, pushing away from the doorframe. "Yeah, every box has been flattened and packed in the U-haul. Chuck and I are going to drop it off at a recycling center before we return the truck. Anyway… they sent me up here to get you guys for dinner."

"We'll be down in a minute," I say, squeezing Danny's hand. I wait until Ana leaves before I turn to look at Danny. "You sure there's nothing I can do to convince you to stay the night?"

"Positive," Danny says, letting out a quiet breath. "Let's go have dinner and hang out with them."

I'd rather stay up here and kiss him instead but… I guess leftover pizza sounds pretty good, too.

---

Dinner is nothing more than reheated pizza and a couple of soda's - but I'm surrounded by some of the best people in my life. And I can't believe I get to have this now.

When I was living with Dad, there was no chance in hell of having anyone over. This is all so normal. And completely fucking bizarre.

We're sitting around talking and for a moment, it feels so fucking surreal. I've been so focused for so long on getting away from him that I never stopped to think what it would actually be like when it happened.

I'm glad it's here - with Alex. With Kendra. With people that care about me and don't give a fuck who I come from. I know I've always done this shit on my own, white-knuckling and bullshitting my way through - and I know I still could. But there's a special kind of comfort in knowing that I don't have to go it alone anymore. I'm not sure I'll ever get used to that feeling.

Danny tries to be casual about it - but I know the second his Mom's texted him. And from the quick pinch between his eyebrows that he works to disguise, I know she probably isn't happy with how long he's been out with me. His eyes meet mine and he knows I know. So I save him from having to come up with a lie.

"Well… I'm gonna walk Danny out," I say, rising from my chair and looking to Danny with a smile. "Did you bring anything inside with you?"

He shakes his head as he gets up from his chair. "Just my jacket - but I left it by the front door." He looks back to everyone else at the table. "Thanks for having me today."

"Please, thank you for all your help," Alex says, rising from his own seat and coming around the end of the table to pat Danny on the shoulder. "You're welcome over any time."

Danny practically beams at that, nodding quickly. "Thank you. I'm sure Dash'll have me over all the time."

"You know it," I say, grinning as I gesture for him to follow me.

We leave the dining room and cross through the living room in silence. Only when we're standing out on the front porch in the semi-darkness do I finally speak.

"Are you okay?" I start with.

He lets out a quiet breath and I can't read his expression in the dark. "Yeah."

I don't trust the shake in his voice. But I follow him off the porch and down the sidewalk anyway. "You sure?"

"Yeah. I just need to get home and assure my mom that I wasn't out hooking up with some random guy."

"I thought she… figured out that we're together."

He lets out a breath and I see it rise in the air in the glow from the street lamp on the other side of the driveway. "Yeah, she did. But she still thinks that I'm out here just jumping any guy's bones."

"I'm sorry."

He opens his front door, bathing the two of us in the auto-light from his car. He stashes his jacket in the passenger seat, a shiver racing through him as he turns back to look at me.

"It is what it is." Danny gives me a smile that doesn't hold near the tension I thought it would. "Now… you kiss me goodbye."

I can't help but grin. "Oh really? What if I… kiss you hello instead? Make you stay for a little longer?"

"Trying to get me to spend the night still?" Danny asks, tsking softly. "And here I thought put that to rest."

"I mean… you know I'd love it if you'd spend the night," I say, continuing at his hesitance. "But I know that what you said had some kind of valid points."

"Only kind of?" Danny teases - but there's a gentle smile on his face.

I bump my knee against his. "So… maybe next time instead?"

"Definitely," Danny says, grinning as he closes the distance between us.

I kiss him, unable to keep myself from smiling against his lips. And I can feel him smiling against mine. And for one moment, everything feels perfect. Like this is how it should have always been - sharing dinners with Alex and his family, trading kisses with Danny in the driveway. And it hits me like a ton of bricks as we break apart for air.

This is how it can be now - forever.

---

I've just turned the blankets down on my bed and crawled in with my phone when there's a soft knock on my bedroom door.

"Come in," I call, pulling the blankets up on my chest and collapsing back against my pillows.

Alex opens my door. "Hey, kiddo. I just wanted to check on you before I go to bed."

"All good here," I say, shooting him a thumbs up - but I'm not sure how well he can see it in the dark. "You can turn my light on if you want."

He flicks the light switch on and there's a gentle expression on his face. "Just so you know… this isn't any different from when we were in the apartment. If you need me… for any reason, please come get me."

"Okay." My voice comes out small on the word.

Alex takes a step further in my room, glancing around at the bed and bookshelf we built today. I can't help but tense when his gaze falls on the unopened dresser box.

"What's this?" he asks, a laugh escaping him. "Your friends give up on this one before they even started?"

I shake my head but he's not looking at me. "No, I just… I haven't put it… together yet."

Alex makes a soft noise. "I can take care of that in the morning."

"Nah, you don't have to," I say, trying to be casual about it. But even I can hear the shake in my tone.

He looks at me now, a frown creasing his features. "Why not? You need a place to put your clothes."

"I have the closet," I say, gesturing toward it. When he doesn't look in that direction, I run my hand through my still damp hair and let out a quiet breath. "I'm fine with putting my shit in the closet."

Alex's eyebrows pull together and he shakes his head. "No. I'll put it together for you in the morning."

"I don't… I don't know that I… want it," I manage to say, looking away from the concern on his face.

"Why not?"

It takes me a long time to sort out the words I need to say - they keep getting trapped in the middle of my throat, choking me off from speaking. But I cough them out, my voice pathetically shaky on them.

"It's just… I don't know that I want… to see one in my bedroom anymore. Not after… after what happened with my last one," I mumble, keeping my stare trained away from Alex. I feel those screws dig into my palm like I'm clutching them all over again.

Alex lets out a quiet breath as he crosses over to my bed. He's gentle when he sinks down on my bed next to me. "Of course. You don't have to keep it."

I nod, still not looking at him. "Yeah. I'll just return it or something."

"Yeah…" Alex trails off and when I chance a look his way, his gaze is flitting around my room - like he's not sure what to do now.

"Um, I don't know about you but I'm exhausted," I say, priding myself on the lack of shake in my voice this time. I even manage a smile when Alex looks toward me.

He nods before he gets up from my bed. He brushes his hand against my shoulder. "Night, Dash. Sleep well."

"Night," I say, watching his back as he moves away from me and over to the door. He cuts the light out and spares a final glance back toward me before his silhouette disappears from my doorway, the door clicking shut softly behind him.

And I roll over in the darkness, sleep instantly grabbing hold of me and pulling me under. My last fleeting thought as my eyes drop closed is wondering why I didn't agree to move in with Alex sooner. Why I forced myself to stay with someone who never cared about me when I had all of this waiting for me on the other side.

---

A/N: yooo

It's been like a decade since I last uploaded but here we are again - I'm back on my bullshit, and you're all invited along for the ride. This chapter ended up finishing up just under 34k - if you follow me on tumblr you might know the saga but this chapter was, at one point, near 41k and I still had around 11-13k to add in. So I decided to split it at the natural stopping point of our lovable quarterback finally getting some rest. Mainly for the sake of brevity but also for my sanity - cause ya boy was tired of editing lmaaaaaooo

Alright so… long break aside, let's break down this chapter. I fucking love this one - there are definitely parts I struggled with it and parts where I know I could have done more and gone deeper but overall, I really love the way this one turned out. Which is nice cause man alive was it a hot fucking mess when I started

First and foremost, Dash finally having a real home will forever fuck me up and gut punch me in ways no one but you readers will understand. And second - may we discuss the angst I threw Nik's way in this chapter? No character is safe from me - none

Honestly, I know someone somewhere out there is wondering if I'm just writing torture porn at this point but it all ~ has a purpose ~ also my angst is lit, no one can deny that lmao

I've been dying for this chapter to be out cause I need to know someone else's thoughts on Nik's mom - bitch with a capital B, am I right?

I've definitely spent way too much time on this chapter and I genuinely can't think of another thing to say about it so I'm going to leave it there and leave you to draw your own conclusions. I hope you enjoyed this update and I can't wait to bring you the next chapter - tentatively planning for July at this stage but keep an eye out on my tumblr if you want to keep up to date on if/when that changes

The title of this chapter comes from Home by Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros. This is a unique one and a little outside of my style but I fell in love with it about a year ago - and ya girl's a sucker for anything sentimental. Even though it's not my typical style, I still think it's a really great song and you should give it a listen - it's definitely worth it

Thanks for always reading and I love hearing your feedback and commentary - it means the world to me. In the next chapter you can expect more shopping, return to school, heaping doses of angst, and a weekend getaway

See you next update!