We arrived at the apartment to the fanfare expected. Asuka and Shinji comically fighting, which was made all the more ridiculous by the fact they were talking in perfect sync, their friends staring aghast...aside from Misato, who just wore an amused expression.

The commotion almost made us slip by unnoticed. Something told me Rei had experience in the art.

"I'm home," I called out, taking off my shoes, watching Rei do the same.

"Welcome home!" Misato called, cheerful.

"Yo Kano," Toji said as he patted me good naturedly on the back. "Where ya been man? D'you know Shinji's been fornicating with the Red Devil?"

I thought the sound of porcelain breaking would've been fitting for the situation. Misato snorted. Asuka approached with murderous intent, only being stopped by Hikari. Shinji looked like he's taken a bullet through the jaw. Kensuke tried to bite back his smile. Rei did nothing.

And I laughed. Hard.

It came out unburdened, completely free. It was the first time I could remember laughing like that in a long time. Certainly at least since I'd come here.

"W-w-w-what?!"

"Too far dude."

"I'm going to kill you stooge!"

"Suzuhara!"

"Man y'all gotta grow a sense of humor. Like Kano here," he said, swiping at his nose.

My laughter died down somewhat by then.

"Honestly I'm just surprised you know what the word "fornication" means," I responded as the last few giggles left me.

"It's a good word, why wouldn't I know it?" he snorted. "You figure me dumb or something like that?"

"Nah, not at all."

"Where have you been anyway?" he asked, switching to a face of curiosity.

"And why's Rei with you?" Kensuke joined in. Misato took the initiative by that point to explain the twofold plan, that would also see me and Rei as a backup.

"No way! You've been under one roof, alone, with her all this time?!" Toji blurted out, leaning in to half-whisper. "You must've gotten some awesome views."

"Yeah tell us about it. Has she been showing around?" Kensuke chimed in again, with a sly grin that told me "did you happen to take any pictures".

"Not nearly as much as you think, and definitely not the views you're thinking of enjoying," I whispered, thinking back to that morning, seeing her naked and feeling more awkward than anything.

"Gott, how are all of you people such pervs?!" Asuka exclaimed, her anger forgotten in the face of more incredulousness.

"Alright, everybody, settle down," Misato said, switching from fun to all-business at the snap of a finger. "Kano, Rei. You're probably wondering why exactly I called you here. So far, we've encountered a bit of difficulty with the sync training-"

"Whose fault is that?" Asuka asked snidely, to which I could see Shinji replied with an exasperated look.

"-so I'd like to check in and see how the back up plan is going," she said, ignoring Asuka's remarking, and smiling as a hint of mischievousness dripped into her voice. "Y'know, just in case, so we don't get caught with our pants down again."

That reply irked Asuka to no end I could see, but beyond that I also saw the purpose underneath those words. Trying to pierce the Second Child's pride and ego to get her to do something certainly could be effective, and lord knew she needed the humbling anyway.

But that also needed the help of Rei to work. Or in this case, the help of Rei and me. Which...I wasn't confident I could provide.

"Wait, what happened the first time?" Kensuke asked, intrigued.

"Classified," Shinji, Asuka, Misato and me all replied in unison. Kensuke, utterly dejected at being told off so thoroughly, visibly slumped.

"So, how has training been going for you two?" Misato asked, with what I prayed was not a conspiratorial wink.

Surprising everyone, Rei took the initiative before I could speak:

"Pilot Akashi has been an acceptable roommate. He has significantly helped in improving the living quality of my apartment. He has taken measures to make both of us comfortable, despite me noting it would be unnecessary. Our training has not been optimum, however he recently introduced a new method of approach that seems to have impacted him positively."

"...Yeah. Rei also has been fine to live with, and to be honest she's way more competent than I am," I followed up. Everyone else seemed too caught in the fact Rei could speak more than one sentence at a time. Misato however, smiled and called us over to the dreaded dotted mats.

Welp, better late than never.

At the very least this little excursion would let people realize Rei was not even close to being the emotionless mute they thought her as. Even Shinji, no matter how close they were, I could tell hadn't quite moved past that mental image of her since.

"That's great!" Misato exclaimed. "Hear that Asuka? You could stand to put a little more trying in your training."

"Pfft, I'm just getting bogged down by the idiot Third."

"Hey!"

"If that's the case, how about this? We'll see how Rei and Kano do first, then switch up pairs and see how Rei and Shinji work together."

"Fine, not like anything will change."

Okay, okay. Remember the training. The steps, the rhythm, right, right...

Tracking your hands and feet on a pad wasn't exactly impossible work, even when against a fairly fast rhythm. What made it hard was having to keep track of your partner, move for move, with no lag in-between. Combined with the fact that you'd need to keep eyes on the commands the entire time, you either had to have an instinctive connection with them or an extra pair of eyes.

I did not have either, but it was better to get it out of the way. So instead of worrying about it, I concentrated on what I and I alone had to do. The signal was given, and I was off, trying desperately to follow what was on-screen without stumbling over myself. It might not have been impossible, but my usual clumsiness still played a part.

The experience was tiring like always, only even more so this time since we were on what I could tell was an extended routine. I never saw what Rei was doing aside from flashes of blue in my peripheral vision. The occasional forceful exhale and soft thud were the only signs she was even alongside me.

And just as soon as it had begun, it was over. I eased myself to sitting on the mat, panting in the meanwhile before composing myself. I turned to the Misato and the rest, hopeful for something.

"Pfft, that's my replacement? They were half a second off each-other," Asuka piped in first, because of course she had to. That annoyed me.

"Half a second off each-other is still better than nothing. Good job, both of you. You have room for improvement, but I have full trust in you. I'm officially designating you the primary attack pair of this operation."

My heart sank so low in my gut it practically fell through my ass, until I noticed Misato's expression. That smile, something was weird about it. Weirdly...condescending.

Is this another ploy or something?

"W-wh-what?! How can you possibly pick the objectively inferior pilots for this?!" the redhead interjected.

"inferior pilots, but a superior pair. One that hasn't messed up an entire operation due to their egos, either," Misato retorted, expression unchanged. "You can barely go a session without kicking your own partner around. I need people working together as closely as they can for this, and they're at least showing desire to improve. Results, as well, from that desire."

"This is completely unfair!"

"What's unfair is that you've barely entertained the idea of this training regiment all this time. What's unfair, is that Shinji has had to perform while dealing with you, without a single apology from you," our guardian continued without missing a beat. "Would you prefer I instead switch you out for Rei, or Kano? That could be arranged. But I assure you, you're not going to be taking center stage if you keep acting like this."

A worrying change that crept up more and more was the shifting of Asuka's face from her pale coloration, to one flushed with blood. She was furious, that much was certain, yet Misato didn't bat an eye.

The stare-down was broken when Asuka pulled her gaze from Misato's own, releasing a forced scoff. She then stomped away from the room.

"Huh. So even demons can back down when they get their ego hurt," Toji remarked.

More than you know, I could only think to myself as Hikari reprimanded her classmate for his comment.

"And you Ikari," her voice swam back into focus. "Go after her!"

"What?! Why me?!"

"You're the one who made her feel like this!"

Shinji took a step back, looking expectantly at the room. Nobody commented. We all understood, for very different reasons, that this was something he had to do. So he took a deep breath, and walked forward, going after Asuka.

The drive back to Rei's apartment was a solemn affair, and I couldn't quite place why. Maybe it was the blatant manipulation I'd just observed. I knew how it happened, I knew why it had to happen. I knew it ultimately would lead to some good. So why then, did it make me feel uneasy?

I stuffed that feeling down when we arrived at the apartment. I didn't spare many words to Misato, and none at all to Rei. I was feeling enormously tired for whatever reason. My eyes were prickling, lids heavy under an invisible force. I chalked it up to it just being a long day.

Something told me that wasn't all there was to it. But, sleep now, worry later.

Day Five

I awoke a lot earlier than usual. The grogginess was there, but it was made worse by the fact that Sun hadn't come out properly yet. I lay, glaring at the ceiling for a while, collecting my willpower for the arduous task of getting up. A short time and a lot of struggling later, I was on my feet and stretching to get the kinks of sleep out of my joints. I turned around to catch Rei, see if she was still asleep or if I'd somehow gotten up sooner than her.

I should not have been surprised, yet I was.

Rei was taking medicine. Pills. Bottles. But, there was so much of it. Spread out all across her drawer were a variety of containers in numbers that looked like something out of an addict's wet dream. I stared in silence for a while, as she would take a pill, swallow, then barely pause before taking another.

It should have been lethal. I almost intervened immediately if not for the fact that I realized this had to have been a daily thing for her. I'd seen the medicine in the show, but I couldn't imagine there were so much more that wasn't shown. And as she kept going, there was only one reason I could think of why she wasn't dead yet.

She's part-Angel.

Now admittedly Angel physiology and to what extent that transferred over when the soul of one was put inside a, for all I knew, normal human body was not something I understood to any extent. Metaphysical biology was not my strong suit, and it was entirely outside of anything the show ever explored in-depth. But it was the only way I could see Rei not dying of overdose.

I decided that I had spent enough time laying quiet. I had to speak.

"Rei."

She stopped to turn her head towards me.

"Pilot Akashi."

"What're you doing?"

"Taking my prescribed medicine."

"Rei, that can't all be your medicine," I said, starting off lamely as possible. It'd have to do. I wanted to get to the crux of the issue.

"..."

"If that's your daily dose, you're taking enough to kill a grown cow already," I got closer then, reaching forward. "Can I have a look?"

At first there was no response, yet slowly, she reached out to hand me one of the bottles. I figured it was some kind of depressant, but a good deal of the writing was meaningless to me. Evidently, pharmacy wasn't my strong suit either.

Yet the side effects stuck out, as they often did. Nausea. Vomiting. Headaches. I looked towards Rei again, seeing her taking something else. How many of these bottles had the same effects? How many had worse ones? How many did she take? How did they all affect each-other and her?

It was a wonder she was alive at all, let alone healthy. Something was up here. I definitely filed it as being related to her less-than-usual physiology for shrugging off all that stuff now. But there had to have been some effect to it.

I didn't know that. I certainly had little basis for it, given that she didn't appear affected at all. But then why would Gendo have her on all this stuff? Maybe it was a necessary precaution against her biology acting up. I couldn't fathom how that worked, but then I hadn't created a human-Angel hybrid.

Or, more likely, it was something to keep Rei as a dog on a leash, even beyond the indoctrination and threats. Once again, I found myself sickened by the extent this man would go to just to secure an asset that for all intents and purposes was already secured by her total devotion to him.

Putting thoughts of the paranoid, delusional man aside, I had to find some way to convince her to not take them. It wasn't fair firstly, for her to be denied even something as basic as a mental state untouched by whatever she was taking. Secondly, I'd assume showing her what humanity and all that was about would be significantly easier with her not being drugged to Hell.

I had to choose my next words carefully. Compelling her about most things was difficult on it's own, but compelling her against her own creator was going to be an uphill struggle.

"You know I wouldn't if I were you," I begun, and I already sounded lame to myself. But I had to remain steadfast. "Keep doing that, that is."

"..."

"I'm serious."

"Why?"

"It's...well, these things are dulling your mind you know. And you're taking so many of them at the same time. I mean, do you even know what they are for?"

Silence was the only thing that met the question.

"Who put you on these?" I continued. "You can't have taken this many from a pharmacy, I don't think they'd let you. Did Ritsuko prescribe them?"

"It was the Commander."

I nodded, though for what reason I couldn't tell. I started staring at the bottle again, for no other reason than to look at something else. I could already feel my face heat up in my nervousness. But I had to go through with this.

"Uhuh. And why would the Commander do that?"

"I require them."

"I don't believe that at all," I got closer then. Maybe it was to emphasize something. "Rei, it's a miracle you're even alive right now with all the drugs in your system. But they can't be good for you. These are mood dampeners. Depressants. They're literally dulling you as we speak."

"I require them."

"So you say, but do you really believe it?" I crouched down partially then, finally tearing my eyes away from bottle. I was done being timid. So I looked at her in the eyes, and found them downcast. "I don't think you need them Rei. I think you're just doing this because the Commander told you to."

"I am to follow orders."

"Even when those orders could end up with all of us dying?" I had to push something, some angle, that could be logically deducted from what Kano...I would know from all I had seen so far. "I don't know how you've made it this far with a dose this big. But say it doesn't work out, one day, randomly. The human body is strange like that sometimes. Say we're in the middle of an Angel fight. Say it happens in this upcoming fight. If any of that occurs we could all be dead."

"It will not."

"Maybe, but "maybe" fucking sucks when you're trying to save the world."

"My piloting experience has not been affected by the medication. It will continue to not be affected."

"And what about your experience? Your life? These things will ruin you if you let them, and you're taking them everyday. Why?"

"Because the Commander ordered me."

"Yes, but why did the Commander order you? Does the Commander's order make any sense? Does it really benefit anyone other than himself?" I barrelled through, question after question, hoping that something would stick. Some detail that would force Rei to confront the fact that she was not a puppet to be jerked about.

"It does not matter."

Managing to talk to her genuinely, had gotten easier during our time together. It did not change the fact that the girl could be set as a brick wall on certain things. I lost my cool. I didn't want to. But at that moment I was fed up.

"Yes it fucking matters!" I yelled as I got closer. I needed her to look at me. To do something acknowledging me. Any sign at all would do, but she gave me nothing. And that only fuelled the anger. "It's your life on the line! You have the power to say no to him! You might think you don't, but you do! So why do you just...accept it all?"

I spread my arms outward at the apartment.

"This shitty fucking place, in the middle of nowhere! Nothing you want to do, nowhere to go but where he allows! Has he ever even let you have one friend?! Hell, fuck that! Has he ever left you out of his watch before now?!"

I poured my voice out as hard as I could. She still didn't look up.

"What I want is irrelevant. I am expendable."

"Why do you keep saying that?"

"Because it is true. I can be replaced."

"Any of us can be replaced," I said, trying to bring my voice under control. "Any of us can get hurt, or die. That's what a war is like. It doesn't mean we have to give up on ourselves. It doesn't mean you have to give up on your life."

"I am different to you."

There was a sort of finality to that statement. Something I couldn't quite place. I wanted to keep up the anger, to keep arguing. But I couldn't. That had stolen it all away, in one breath. I exhaled, forcefully, and rose to full height. My vision couldn't focus in the moment.

I chose to take a seat next to her on the bed then. She did not touch a single bottle after that.

A while passed, and as I lied back on the bed, stretching out my arms. The scene was faintly ridiculous. Both of us, so close, yet so far apart in our minds. That had to change someday, if we had any hope of surviving.

"We're not as different as you think we are y'know," I managed to blurt out.

I had closed my eyes then to relax and let my brain unscramble for a bit. When I opened them again, she was looking at me.

"You sound certain."

"I am. I think I am. I don't know," I sighed. Might as well get something off my chest. "It's hard talking to people sometimes, you included. But I just think...I want to make lives better. I want to make people happy. I think that's my purpose and shit you know. We're only here for a few decades. Then we're gone. Might as well bring some light on the way out."

That wasn't a lie. I was not lying, or working under a technicality this time. That...scared me.

It was starting to feel real. Beyond what I told myself to keep whatever moral ideals I had left from cracking.

"You are confusing," a voice snapped me out of my thoughts. Rei was still there, still staring.

"Maybe I am. You're not the easiest person to figure out either, y'know," I smiled, if only a little. "I think, being in this job...it's only natural for everyone to be a little crazy, right? I mean we wouldn't be risking our lives otherwise, would we?"

Being transported here from another world helps. Or harms. Either works.

Rei remained silent at that. I sat up from my position and decided to do something that sounded strange in my head. But it felt right.

"Here's something really weird though," I said, as I scooted closer. Before she could react, I wrapped my arms around her gently.

It was awkward, both due to the atmosphere, the position, and the fact that Rei was stiff as a board. I thought I'd done something wrong until I felt her arms shift a bit. A hand was placed on my shoulder. She didn't push off so, success?

I could only assume that.

We separated soon enough. But time acted weird in moments like that. Experiences feel far longer than they probably are. Regardless, it felt...nice to do that. I still burned with some embarrassment, and I wouldn't be surprised if my cheeks were flushed a bit. But that didn't matter.

"That's called a hug."

"...I see. It is acceptable."

"I'm glad that you think that."

Day Six

The time had come. We deployed later that day. I couldn't sleep all night thinking about the fight.

I had no idea how different it could be. We already had the alien concept of four whole pilots operating, even if not at the same time. Anything could happen.

But nonetheless, I didn't let that show on my face. I doubted Rei would've even cared, but it was a habit that had grown stronger lately. I was bad at showing my emotions one way or another in person. Coming here had just become an exercise in learning how to actively hide them. I couldn't afford a slip up.

Like the one yesterday.

I frowned. How long had it been? Weeks? Months? It was hard to tell, and I had a difficulty keeping time in the best of circumstances.

But that didn't matter now. None of that did. When it came to life or death, you could only focus on one thing.

I took my stance next to Rei, headphones in hand. I was nervous, but then the exercise itself took over. The job took over. I allowed myself a final deep breath, as chills ran down my spine, and I put my headphones on.

The rhythm was fast, pushed to the optimum speed we'd have to work at, if we were to undertake the assault. I found myself not caring. I wasn't flawless, that was for certain, but I made sure to hit every single position as well as I possibly could.

I didn't spare a single glance at Rei. This was to test the fruits of our synch training after all. Some...well, synching, was expected. If we couldn't do this, the whole endeavor was worthless. And more importantly, all the trust we'd have built up would feel...shallow. Meaningless.

I had to trust our bond, however small and inconsequential it was.

The simulation ran for a single minute, mimicking the max timer of Evangelions running at full power. It was the most intense minute of exercise I'd done since coming here. Lungs started burning, muscles were getting sore with lactic acid build up, sweat was beginning to drench me. But it felt good.

And just like that, it was over. I caught a glimpse at Rei. Tired, sweaty, panting. I was getting more used to that sight.

The screen showed results, which I checked soon enough. 0.2 second delay. About on par with human visual reaction speed. Whether that was good enough or not, or whether it'd even be needed was to be seen. But it was the best we had. I let out a very tired and very unenthusiastic "woo".

"Get ready all four of you. There's no room for mistakes now."

The effort to move a single one of our vast war machines was colossal. The effort to move four of them across the country was downright mind boggling.

Thousands of men and women toiled to bring us to our destinations, all for what was to be a single minute at maximum of activity for any of the four Evangelions. But that single minute would decide whether we lived or died, as individuals and as a species. The pressure was on.

I watched as the final checks were performed. Target data flowed into the screens unbidden. Banter commenced between the other two, but me and Rei were dead silent. There was an understanding there at least, as adrenaline mounted and nerves tensed.

Then it appeared.

From the horizon came two gargantuan shapes, dwarfing mountains further back. Chills ran down my spine. The best we had. The best we had.

Was it good enough?

Titan against titan. Spirit against spirit. The weight of our souls would be judged, and if found worthy, we'd win.

"Target entering Ground Zero."

"Detach power cables."

A string of technician voices were heard, belaying similar commands and status checks. I could feel the muscles coil in flesh that was practically my own as synchronization ramped up and my heart beat faster.

"You all know your assigned roles," Misato began, as a vid feed of her and the other pilots appeared in front of my screen. "I won't repeat them. I don't need to tell you what's at stake either. Go out there, and win this for us."

"Roger!" all four of us replied, and for the first time, we truly said it as one.

Both targets were within reach. They surged forward, carried by their AT Fields in a display of almost divine levitation.

"Launch!"

The Evas in front of us charged, fast as bullets with the mass of ferries. Red and purple mixed into a blur almost too swift to make out. They danced and weaved all the while, as they clashed against the twin Angel. AT Fields nullified each-other, and raw aggression was left to decide the outcome.

The Angels were quick, matched to a tee, unshakeable. But so were Shinji and Asuka, and unlike the twin monstrosity they had choreography. They didn't have an innate connection, but something better, something built on blood and sweat and tears.

They were magnificent in that moment.

And as a barricade was raised for each, a shot was fired for each. And as they each jumped into the sky to execute their final move I felt hope. A great hope.

The Angel was pushed hundreds of meters back from the dual Core assault, and finally conjoined back into one for the final blow to kill it. Only something weird was going on. It was taking too long. Why wasn't it dyin-

"Energy build up within the target! It's doing something with it's Core!"

"Release could severely damage the Evas! They're being targeted, and their fields are neutralized!"

I didn't act on thought then. Only instinct. I ran forward, one minute ticking down. I didn't need to check on Rei then. I could feel her presence alongside my own, her soul alongside with her Evas blistering hot against mine. Our AT Fields were at max power.

We ran towards the other two, whose legs were now so deep inside the Angel it looked like it was trying to absorb them whole. It's eyes were glowing and it's face was ballooned to the point of dwarfing an Eva's torso. I had a feeling the Core was in there.

Didn't Sachiel try the same thing?

It didn't matter. Nothing mattered in that one moment. As one we pulled Shinji and Asuka free only to stare into the Angel's glowing mask. Lit up by the red flare of it's imminent violent death, it looked like the blazing face of a death god, driven into a rage.

A wall of orange lit up for a brief window of time. So brief in fact, I could barely tell when it had rescinded as a loss of vision and sheer cacophonous noise had taken it's place. I felt myself being thrown, thousands of tons moved like paper weight.

And then there was silence. Until...

"Target destroyed."

"You're sprawled all over me!"

"S-sorry!"

I let out the deepest sigh of relief I'd probably ever let out in my life. I closed my eyes as a smile teased at my lips, and as the plug went dark, I could feel the last lingering ghost of someone else's soul brush mine.