Chapter 13

A/N: Big warning to readers, there is RAPE in this chapter. It begins in the THIRD section of this chapter. It's also implied in the FOURTH and FIFTH section. This aspect of the fanfic was planned with my old co-writer. I felt bad writing it, but this is NOT a love story. This was a true test of my ability to dive into dark topics.

You can look for Egoist fluff and love in my other fics if this bothers you.

Also, I opened a tip jar at ko-fi if you'd like to support me through that method. The link is on my Tumblr and fanfiction profile.

-Lucicelo

Hiroki opened his eyes in time to catch Nowaki rearrange the bookcase. Wincing at each loud slam, he mourned the state of those books. Bending books on purpose still remained a pet peeve of his. Too tired to speak, he kept his annoyance to himself to preserve his dignity. He hated how weak he sounded when he spoke. Making an attempt to move his arm, his muscles strained from the movement. None of his limbs worked. This irritated him more than anything.

He managed to jerk his head to the right direction and watched Nowaki in action. His broad shoulders were hard to miss. The tall height of this man overshadowed anyone he ever associated himself with.

He noticed Nowaki's rather foul mood.

During the time he spent with Nowaki, he'd never seen such a furious expression on the man's face. He pondered on the reasons. Maybe an incident happened at work to bring out this rare sight. Such a compassionate man shouldn't have a thing to worry about. At least, Hiroki assumed the doctor never strayed from his gentle nature.

Everyone experienced bad luck in their lives. Why not Nowaki?

He opened his mouth to speak, but his mouth contained no saliva, his throat dried up. The act of gulping aggravated everything it seemed. When Nowaki addressed him, he'd mime the act of wanting water. Anything to get rid if the thirst.

From the light peering through the bathroom window, he calculated the time as early morning. This brought on his confusion.

Wasn't Nowaki supposed to bring him breakfast to simulate eating?

From his peripheral, he saw no tray or any semblance of food or drink. Not that he was hungry, but he needed to do something with his time. He couldn't even reach the books to read on his own, he relied on Nowaki to hand them over to him. The same guy wrecking those precious books through slamming them in the shelf without a care.

Such precious books, treated with callousness.

Groaning, Hiroki closed his eyes. This was becoming too bothersome, he wanted to pass over this weakness, not seeing his family and friends stung him. He was sick of staying in bed.

Upon hearing the noise, Nowaki snapped his head toward Hiroki's direction. Staring at him with harsh intensity, his chest heaved from his attempts at calming breathing exercises. He tried not to let his bruised pride take control of him. He had faced worse situations, yet, Hiroki's betrayal hurt him deep in his soul. Hiroki called the name of that man during their moment of intimacy.

During his shift at work, he masked his inner fury from his co-workers. Nothing good came from airing out grievances in the workplace. After returning to the cabin, he went straight to Hiroki's room. The moment he laid eyes on him he wanted to shake Hiroki, yell at him for muttering another man's name in his presence.

Glad to have taken his fury on something other than Hiroki, his pain still stuck to him, clinging onto the continual stabbing in his heart. He cared little for those books, but he didn't desire inflicting pain to Hiroki.

His anger made him think otherwise.

Loosening his grip on the book he held, it fell onto the floor with a slam. Observing Hiroki, his fury lessened at the sight of a bruise on Hiroki's shoulder. He cursed at himself leaving any remnant of evidence. He soothed himself with the knowledge that Hiroki's lack of strength made him unable to see it.

Hiroki let out another noise, snapping Nowaki from any dark thoughts. He hurried to his side. Standing beside Hiroki's bed, he said nothing, but watched him. Reaching out his hand, he brushed aside Hiroki's bangs from his forehead.

Hiroki opened his eyes. "N-Nowaki."

Nowaki winced at Hiroki's raspy voice. "I'll be right back."

Hurrying out of the room, Nowaki breathed through his nose, trying to calm himself down. Retrieving a glass of water, he returned to witness Hiroki attempting to move his fingers. Hiroki's hopeful smile ticked Nowaki off. He thought Hiroki laid in bed all day, sleeping due to the drugs in his system. To his dismay, Hiroki kept trying to strengthen his limbs in secret.

In his opinion, Hiroki's training was in vain. He would raise up the dosage and keep Hiroki detained in that bed for an extended amount of time.

Hiroki stopped moving his fingers at the sight of him coming through the door.

Nowaki feigned seeing nothing, stopping beside him as he held the glass in his hands. Checking on Hiroki, he noted how the I.V area was inflamed. He tsked. The evidence stared him right in the face. Hiroki exasperated his I.V drip from moving around.

Some sense of relief filled him at the sight of Hiroki struggling to look up at him. He enjoyed having Hiroki dependant on him, less chance of him leaving out of his life again.

"Hiro-san…do I have to keep reminding you not to force yourself?" Gently smiling, Nowaki helped Hiroki into a sitting position. Hiroki's body slacked from lack of sturdiness. "Will you be able to drink on your own?"

"I hate this bed." Hiroki grimaced. "Just tip it to my mouth, Nowaki."

"If you are sure." Nowaki frowned at his attitude, pressing the glass to Hiroki's lips, he watched him take light sips. "I can give it to you by mouth if you want…"

Hiroki sputtered, spilling the water down the sides of his mouth, he stammered out. "W-What type of stupid shit are you saying? Don't joke about stuff like that!"

Nowaki narrowed his eyes. "It seems you are having trouble. It's not a big deal if I help you."

"Of course it is! You are not putting your lips anywhere near me." Hiroki tried sipping more water, but Nowaki moved the glass away from his reach. "Give me more water Nowaki."

"No. You are being completely unreasonable." Nowaki kept the water away from Hiroki, but placed a hand on Hiroki's hip. "If you want more water, you have to let me give it to you by mouth."

"Fuck no." Hiroki growled. "You are acting like a brat, just give me the water and let me sleep."

Nowaki glared at him. "I am not a brat, I am a full grown man."

"Pft! Oh sure you are all man." Hiroki rolled his eyes. "A real man wouldn't be behaving like this in the first place." Hiroki forced his head to look away from Nowaki. His head spun. Black spots appeared before his eyes. "I'm done sipping water. Leave me alone."

Nowaki tightened his grip on Hiroki's hip. Ignoring the yelp coming from Hiroki, something in him snapped.

Hiroki heard a clink from the glass of water hitting the desk right next to his bed. Fingers dug into his face, forcing him to turn back toward Nowaki's direction. The blatant fury in Nowaki's eyes caused his skin to goose-pimple. Nowaki's sweet face, marred into a semblance of his normal self, made him shiver in fear.

Those fingers pressed into his skin, creating crescent moon indentations in order to keep his face from moving. Not that Hiroki could force his way out of his grip in the first place. Hiroki tried avoiding eye contact with Nowaki, but the doctor's face closed in, making it impossible for him not to look away.

Hiroki tried hiding any concern from his voice. "Nowaki?"

Nowaki remained silent and began closing the gap between their faces. Those blue eyes stared down at his lips. Hiroki's eyes widened when he realized his intention. He struggled against Nowaki's hold, but his body didn't listen to his commands.

"Don't you dare." Hiroki tried adding bass to his voice, but Nowaki appeared unconcerned. "I am not interested in you."

Their nose touched.

"Stop."

Hiroki felt Nowaki's breath on his lips.

"I will hate you if you continue."

Nowaki stopped for a brief moment, until he stated. "That's fine with me, I don't care anymore."

"W-Wha-"

Nowaki connected their lips.

Nowaki plunged his tongue into Hiroki's mouth and deepened their kiss. Hiroki's eyes widened in disgust as he tried moving away from him to discourage him. This had the opposite effect, he heard Nowaki moan in his mouth and climbed on top of him. Tears prickled in the corners of Hiroki's eyes, revulsion overtook him as he laid there, unable to defend himself.

Nowaki loosened his grip on Hiroki's face, moving his hand onto the nape of his neck. Hiroki began running out of air. He couldn't take this slobbering kiss anymore. When he felt Nowaki's tongue retreat back into his own mouth, he bit Nowaki's lip with all the strength he possessed. He heard his cry of pain.

Nowaki removed his hands from Hiroki to touched his lower lip. Looking down, he saw blood staining his fingers. His breathing grew shallow as he stared at his fingers. He touched his lip again and felt blood go down his chin. One thing registered in his mind: Hiroki bit him hard enough to draw blood.

Hiroki froze and cursed himself for biting Nowaki in the first place. Nowaki's blood landed onto his robe, staining the white fabric pink. He kept a close eye on Nowaki's reaction. In this cabin, Nowaki could do whatever he wanted with him without any witness to help him.

All of a sudden, Nowaki gripped Hiroki's shoulders and pressed himself against him. Hiroki's eyes widened at the sight before him. The crazed look in Nowaki's eyes, the unwiped blood dripping down his face, and ragged breathing. A vast difference from the serene and kind Nowaki from before.

This newly revealed dark side terrified him to the core of his soul.

Nowaki swooped down and kissed Hiroki. He ignored the obvious uncomfortable squirming underneath him. Loosening his grip on Hiroki's shoulders, he yanked Hiroki's robe open, feeling the soft skin underneath his fingertips. He ran them over Hiroki's nipples, grinning at them hardening to his touch. He suckled on one while tweaking the other one. Loving the taste, he turned his attention onto the other one.

He went back up to Hiroki's neck and kissed him all over the place. He left marks in numerous places, bright red and contrasting against Hiroki's paling skin. Nibbling Hiroki's ear, he failed to notice the tenseness of the body underneath him. Getting up on his knees, he removed his shirt and unbuckled his jeans. Seeing the trouble of taking of his jeans, he got on his feet and shuffled them off.

He got back onto the bed, admiring his own handy work. Hiroki's skin was bruised with his love bites. Taken back by Hiroki's furious expression, he assumed Hiroki felt unattended from his loving touches. He turned his attention back onto Hiroki's body. Wanting to taste every inch of him and more. He pushed Hiroki's legs apart and went in between them. Kissing Hiroki, he pushed his tongue into his mouth.

"S-stop." Hiroki managed to utter out in between their kisses.

Insulting Nowaki did nothing to cease his actions, it spurred him on even more.

Hiroki closed his eyes shut. Wanting to imagine his rapist as someone other than the kind doctor who tended to him. Nowaki's voice broke his attempt at a way of escape. His eyes began filling up with tears.

At the sound of a cap popping open, he snapped his eyes open. He saw Nowaki coating his fingers with lube, applying a generous amount to his fingers. Without any boxer briefs on, Nowaki had no blockage to his entrance.

Hiroki winced at the intrusion. Nowaki slipped his fingers in and out. He didn't take his time and rushed the process. Hiroki whimpered at the fast thrusting into his ass, no care went into the preparation.

Nowaki rubbed lube onto his cock and pressed the head against Hiroki's hole. "Ready?"

"Why are you doing this to me?!" Hiroki screamed as Nowaki continued and thrust into him in one go. He felt himself ripping in half. Nowaki's so called preparation did nothing and left him in a state of pain.

Nowaki on the other hand, groaned in bliss. He didn't wait long before he thrust into Hiroki, trying to find the prostate to blind Hiroki in pleasure. In the meantime, he enjoyed his end of contact. He never thought it would feel this great.

"How are you able to do this?! I'm dead!" Hiroki screamed in desperation. His weak hands hit Nowaki's body, his hits had no affect on stopping his assault. "Stop it! Get off of me! You're hurting me!"

Nowaki didn't stop thrusting. Through his pleasure filled mind, he attempted to console Hiroki through sweet words in his ear. His words did nothing. Hiroki kept on yelling at him, but the volume of his voice lessened the longer they had sex. He heard grunts and saw tears in the corners of Hiroki's eyes. Believing they were from pleasure, he kept on the pace.

Putting his hand in between them, he curled his hand around Hiroki's limp dick. Furrowing his brows, he slowed down in order to bring Hiroki to hardness. Nothing happened. Frustrated, he applied more pressure with his hand and one his thrusts entered into the right spot. To Hiroki's mortification, he croaked out a pleasurable moan.

This instinctual action prompted Nowaki to thrust into that area. Hiroki shut his eyes tight, urging himself not to feel anything pleasurable in the situation. His body betrayed him. Nowaki hit his prostate head on, unrelenting in his pursuit in wanting him to orgasm.

"Nowaki! Stop!"

Nowaki bit into the column of Hiroki's neck, piercing his skin and blood leaked out the wound. He relished in the feeling of being inside of Hiroki at last. Nothing beat the feeling. He uttered out. "You feel so good."

Hiroki cried out in disgust as Nowaki kept on caressing and kissing his body. Any of his pleads for Nowaki to stop went to deaf ears. None of his vain attempts swayed the man from stopping his actions. Tears trickled down the sides of Hiroki's face, gritting his teeth during a particular bite to his shoulder. Either Nowaki didn't care about him or ignored his cries on purpose.

Nowaki whispered into Hiroki's ear in delight. "You're mine, forever. No one can take you away from me."

Hiroki snapped. "Fuck you!"

Hiroki denied Nowaki's proclamations, his head twitching side to side to signify his denial. He put his tongue in between his teeth, applying pressure to cut it in half. The blood loss might distract Nowaki to pull out and tend to his injury. In that moment, he realized that he used up all of his strength to bite Nowaki's bottom lip. He gave up.

Waiting until Nowaki finished became torturous for Hiroki as he stared up at the ceiling. Focusing on a spider hanging from the ceiling lights, a fly struggled in the cross hatched web on the exterior of the lights. Weak and helpless. The spider walked on the web, ready to spin the fly in its silk and consume it.

A realization hit him.

Nowaki trapped him through lies, drugged him up, and weakened him for his sick twisted delusions.

He transformed into a mere weak insignificant fly.

Hiroki cringed at the animalistic groan of his name as Nowaki emptied himself inside of him. Nowaki placed one last kiss on his lips, he clenched his jaw, wanting no lingering taste of him on his lips. He gave no indication of listening Nowaki's sweet sentiments. Avoiding eye contact, his gaze stayed on the ceiling.

Nowaki pulled out of Hiroki before he went inside of the bathroom for a rag. He cleaned himself off, relishing in the lingering spasms of pleasure he received from his beloved. Staring at the mirror, he appreciated his ruffled form and smiled. This appearance came as a result to the previous activities with his dear one.

Hiroki belonged to him.

Nowaki returned every few hours, giving Hiroki a reprieve from sex. Thrilled at their new connection, he jumped at the chance to join them together once again. He sighed at Hiroki's lack of orgasm during their couplings. From reading the books, he thought his preparation and loving touches brought Hiroki to euphoria. From the lack of semen on Hiroki's stomach, his beloved didn't achieve the same feelings as himself.

Despite this set back, their long extended period of time in the cabin gave him multiple chances to practice. Practice made perfect after all.

In between shifts, he returned home, eager to resume connecting with Hiroki. He didn't forget to feed him first. Hiroki kept his mouth shut, not wanting a single morsel. He stared up at the ceiling, not paying him any mind. His newfound patience prompted him to hook another I.V bag to replace the old one. He didn't want his beloved to die after all.

Contemplating a lower dosage of drugs, he pondered about the dangers. He wanted Hiroki to share in their passions. Fingers digging into his back and legs wrapped around his waist. Yet, he didn't want Hiroki to find a way to escape their sanctuary. It wasn't fun to have a limp lover who didn't participate. This might happen in a distant future.

He frowned at Hiroki's lack of conversations after sex. Hiroki said nothing to him. He laid on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, giving him no attention. Hiroki appeared dead to the world.

The fighting and screaming man stayed in a conscious frozen state.

Whenever he kissed him and caressed him, Hiroki flinched. Elation filled Nowaki at the reaction. This meant Hiroki began accepting his love.

Now, his security was set in stone. Without Akihiko around, Hiroki belonged to him. No other man would have him ever again.

Hiroki did nothing to fight Nowaki. Without his usual strength, his harsh punches did nothing to defend himself. His words didn't sway Nowaki's sense of honor. When he pleaded, Nowaki upped the harshness of his thrusts. The puncture wound of his I.V reddened even further from the jerks of movement caused from Nowaki assaulting him.

He laid complacent with his fingers clenching every so often. He felt everything. His ass throbbed from the lingering pain. Every time Nowaki cleaned him off, he winced from the soapy water getting into the slight tear in his hole. His body and mind shut down after the third time. Each scene played out in Hiroki's mind on repeat. He tried to convince himself that he hallucinated the whole ordeal.

Nowaki's loving words meant nothing to him. The kind and charming Nowaki dissipated after the first time he touched him. This man broke down the illusion he presented to him. Nowaki seemed unaware of this development and resumed his gentle smiles when he climbed into his bed. Wanting the experience of a true lover, one who loved him.

Hiroki let him do as he wished.

In certain cases, Nowaki finished fast, halting his thrusts.

Afterwards, Nowaki attempted to make pillow talk. Hiroki remained silent and emotionless. Ignoring him, he stared up at the ceiling, hoping his I.V infected in order to stop the influx of medication. Inflicting harm on himself popped into his head. Sometimes, Nowaki forgot utensils in the room when he brought in a tray of food.

The processing of a plan developed inside of his head.

Tired from the never ending searches for Hiroki, Akihiko lifted his head from his hands and rubbed his eyes. Ignoring the influx of police officers passing through the department, he waited for one of the officers to call his name. Fuyumi and Soshi were inside of the office to file Hiroki's missing person report. He accompanied them to give his own statement for the last time he saw his oldest friend.

Despite Aikawa's insistence on his next novel, his focus returned to Hiroki. His word document stayed empty from his brilliant literary compositions. He thought about using Hiroki's disappearance to cut off her nagging, but he stopped himself before opening his mouth. Using his friend against Aikawa was in poor taste.

His visit to Hiroki's apartment left more questions than answers. Nothing appeared out of place. Hiroki's bed remained well made and there were no evident signs of a struggle. Considering Hiroki kept to himself, asking neighbors about his whereabouts wasn't possible. In any case, the police would conduct their research at the apartment and ask those people themselves.

He berated himself for ignoring Hiroki's claims of someone following him around. Hiroki predicted the identity of the stalker: an old bitter student. Akihiko scoffed at the speculation, Hiroki was strict, but his students returned to give him praises. The few who failed the class, switched to a different professor and moved on with their lives.

He couldn't figure out the identity of this mystery stalker. No suspects popped into his mind. This debacle frustrated him into a foul mood when he tried listing people who might have a reason to harm Hiroki.

Takahiro called him earlier to inform him about finding no sight of their friend. He thanked him for his consideration before leaving his home to meet with Hiroki's parents. In between his family and job, Takahiro tried his best, but couldn't spare any extensive amount of time.

Akihiko thanked himself for having a job which gave him plenty of liberties. He used his free time however he pleased.

Taking his phone out of his pocket, he checked it again for the umpteenth time. Seeing text messages, he swiped the screen. He rolled his eyes at the sight of Aikawa and Isaka's names. He slipped his phone back into his pocket. No texts or calls from Hiroki.

As the door opened, he saw Soshi and Fuyumi walk outside. The officer motioned him to enter, Akihiko stood up, passing Hiroki's distressed parents. Sitting on the chair, he waited for the office to close the door for him to begin his tale.

After finishing their statements, Akihiko met Soshi and Fuyumi outside of the police station. Exchanging forced smiles, Akihiko lead them to his red sports car. Soshi grimaced at the flashy appearance, but said nothing. Akihiko paid little attention to Soshi's disapproval to his car. He opened the door for them and drove toward the direction of their home. The car ride remained quiet, tense, and awkward. None of them shared a word to one another.

This went on for fifteen minutes before Akihiko thought about something to tell them. He heard Fuyumi's sniffling from behind his driving side seat. It pained him to see Hiroki's parents in such a state. Both of them loved their son more than anything. "How are you handling everything, Mama Fuyumi?" He didn't dare ask anything of Soshi Kamijou.

Fuyumi rubbed her red rimmed eyes with her handkerchief, making no attempts to conceal her consecutive trail of tears. Ever since Soshi broke the news, she cried non-stop. "Not well, Aki-chan. Not well at all."

Soshi glared at Akihiko for his ridiculous question. He relished in seeing Akihiko's visible flinch. Akihiko knew he screwed up. Ignoring him for a moment, he kept on rubbing Fuyumi's shoulder and provided silent support.

Akihiko cringed. "Right." He turned into the street which lead to their home. "What did the police tell you?"

Soshi answered. "They have sent out the report to the proper sector and will send the report throughout the other police stations."

"That's it?"

"Well, the officer questioned if Hiroki left on his own volition. I denied the idea, Hiroki invested his time and energy into his career. There was no way he'd abandon his job or his family."

Fuyumi clenched her handkerchief in her hands. "We planned on collecting search parties to look for Hiroki. I'm not sure where the search will begin. The countryside or this city..."

Akihiko declared. "I can pay for whatever search party we need. Money is no expense."

"We can all pay for the search party." Soshi emphasized.

Akihiko nodded his head. "Of course," Stopping in front of their large gate, he breathed through his nose, trying not to show his inner turmoil. "I...I told the police about Hiroki's stalker."

Soshi stopped himself from opening the door. "Stalker?"

Eyes wide and fearful, Fuyumi stuttered out. "W-Who? Who is the stalker, Aki-chan?"

Akihiko bit his lower lip, he admitted to them. "I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?!" Soshi bellowed out, careful in keeping his voice in a low level for the sake of his wife. "Answer us!"

Akihiko turned off the ignition. Running his fingers through his hair, he turned his head over his shoulder and told them. "Hiroki commented about this person for years and I played it off as nonsense. I chocked it off as paranoia. After he disappeared, this stalker came to mind as one of the suspects."

Soshi demanded. "Any proof?"

Akihiko faced away from them and sighed. "None. Hiroki showed me nothing to prove his story as true." He gripped the steering wheel tight and his knuckles turned white. "I'm sorry."

Fuyumi shook her head, she reached out her hand, patting Akihiko's head. "You did everything you could to remember."

"Not well enough."

TBC