A/N: First post of 2018!

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-Lucicelo

Chapter 16

Hiroki looked down at his dark orange, home knitted sweater, recognizing it as one of the old ones his mother knitted for him on one of their many Christmas' together. Real warm and snug. Made with love and care. Nothing out of place. It even smelled like her rose scented perfume as he moved closer to the fabric and sniffed. Getting himself comfortable, he noticed that he sat under a kotatsu. Lifting his eyes from the kotatsu, he saw a bowl of clementines in the center, salted peanuts in a smaller bowl, an old scuffed tea pot on a coaster, and a variety of cups, set in their designated spots. Reaching out his hand, he moved his cup closer to himself, before lifting it up and sipping from it.

His body shivered from the tea warming his chest. A welcome feeling. So comforting. He missed sitting underneath a kotatsu, watching an old show from his childhood, or a recommendation, while relaxing throughout the afternoon. Letting himself laze around his home while worrying little about his job.

The silence dissipated into a variety of voices. Men, women, the shrieks of a child. Hiroki paused. Setting his cup down onto the wooden top, he saw people in his peripheral vision. Upon realizing the sudden company, Hiroki snapped his face toward the filled up spaces of the kotatsu. Tears prickled his eyes at the sight of his parents, sharing a spot together, across from him, while commenting about family with Akihiko, who sat to his right. On his left, sat Takahiro and Manami, who kept glancing at him. Their small child, Mahiro, rolled a clementine on the table while sitting on his mother's lap.

Hiroki felt the words die in his throat from the relief. He spent days, weeks, months, in Kusama Nowaki's captivity. He wondered when he escaped and recovered enough to have company in his home. Inspecting the room, he recognized his own apartment. From the large bookshelves, to the portraits of himself with family and friends, a lingering smell of pine scented cleaner, and the

Takahiro broke through his thoughts, Hiroki heard his concern, loud and clear when he asked him. "Hiro-chan, are you okay? You suddenly stopped talking to us all of a sudden."

Manami tilted her head to the side, bringing a wave of her chocolate curls over her shoulder. "Hiroki-san?"

"Hi-chan!" Mahiro repeated, thinking saying Hiroki's name turned into a game.

All of a sudden, his parents and Akihiko paused in their conversation. His mother reached out her hand, trying to curl her nimble fingers around his hand, but she stopped herself.

Hiroki opened his mouth, nothing came out. Wrinkling his nose, he tried again, the words died in his throat. Clutching his throat, he felt for anything off and gulped. Physically, he felt nothing hurting him inside of his throat. Looking around the circle of people, their faces blurred. His living room darkened, pitch black, leaving a spotlight on each individuals.

Akihiko disappeared from his spot. The light turned off.

Where did he go?!

All of a sudden, Takahiro and his family vanished. The light turned off.

No!

His stomach plunged down to the floor. Palms sweating, his heart raced.

In a panic, he stood up, walking around the kotatsu as the snacks and kotatsu vanished, leaving his parents sitting on the floor. His mother clutched her chest, falling down onto the floor. His father jerked around, eyes rolled behind his head before he fell on top of his mother. The light turned off.

Hiroki let out a screamless cry of despair. His knees gave out from under him, forcing him down onto the sudden dark floor. Hiding his despair through lowering his face to the floor, his tears trickled down his cheeks, losing himself in his grief. He badgered himself for his naivete. He should have known better. His sudden ability to move around was impossible and an indicator of this nightmare.

"Why are you on the floor?"

Hiroki's breath hitched. Lifting up his head, his eyes widened at the sight of Nowaki, standing right in front of him.

Stone faced, Nowaki knelt down, forcing his chin up, to stare direct in his eyes. He saw no affection or supposed love in those blue eyes. Nowaki applied pressure to his chin, he let out a whimper, the first sign of noise from himself.

Nowaki smirked, bringing some life into his icy stare. Letting go of Hiroki's chin, Nowaki maneuvered his hands to grab onto Hiroki's wrists. He pulled Hiroki into a crouch position, not at all gentle in his actions.

"No one will save you." Nowaki gripped Hiroki's wrists, his sneer stretched out into a cold smile. "I told you, Hiro-san. You will never leave me. You're mine."

Hiroki jerked himself away, managing to get his hands back. Nowaki laughed. His smile stretched beyond his cheeks, morphing the smile as clown like. The chilling laughter echoed throughout the room.

Hiroki's vision blurred, giving him reprieve from looking at Nowaki. His head snapped to the side as his vision went black.

He woke up to a familiar ceiling. Registering the dream, Hiroki broke down. The limited amount of tears inside of him dried up, leaving him to conceal the audible evidence of his sorrow through gritted teeth.

The next time Nowaki made his appearance, Hiroki flinched at the sight of him. His nightmare replayed in his mind. Over and over. Breaking his spirit in his dreams, he heard words about the facts of his reality.

Dream Nowaki taunted him in a relentless cycle of scathing words. He didn't touch him after the first dream, but his words reached him. Nowaki's handsome smile, turned into a laughable imitation which mocked him. Those warm blue eyes, turned icy and cold, lacking the proclaimed love Nowaki repeated whenever he saw him. The intent behind those words scared him.

Nowaki could rape him again at any given time.

His torn hole hurt whenever he moved. A twitch of his leg shot a sliver of pain throughout that area of his body. The involuntary actions of his body caused enough pain to wake him up from his sleep. Nowaki's sudden wish to place him in a bath and dab on healing creams, didn't hurry the healing process.

He couldn't handle Nowaki forcing himself on him again.

The idea wrecked his body into extreme shivers and cold sweats.

Playing a meek and agreeable person might sway Nowaki into giving him a longer period of rest. Nowaki's mood turned positive when he reciprocated. His decent acting extended his rest, sharing a few kisses was better than having a behemoth thrusting into him.

Trying to distance dream Nowaki from the Nowaki in front of him, Hiroki breathed through his nose.

"Time to take you into the living room." Nowaki declared, his smile strained on the sides of his mouth, making the otherwise sincere smile, a fake one. "We'll have breakfast on the couch and watch some variety shows." Without asking, he pulled off the blanket which covered Hiroki. He chuckled at the state of his robe on Hiroki. Huge and loose around that slim frame. He reached out his hands and untied the knot, wanting to fix up the rumples mess.

Hiroki uttered out. "Why?"

Nowaki paused in shuffling Hiroki's robe in a suitable fashion. "Ah...I have the day off today. It feels lonely having to watch TV without someone beside me." Hooking an arm underneath Hiroki's legs and supporting his back, he carried Hiroki off of the bed. "Don't you want to watch TV?" He left himself out of the equation to gather Hiroki's reaction.

Wanting a new environment to observe, Hiroki tried to nod, but he failed in moving his muscles the right way. Instead, he voiced his agreement. "Yes."

"Excellent!" Nowaki exclaimed in excitement.

Taking him through the bedroom door, Hiroki drank in the images of the new surroundings. Arms slack on his sides, he noticed a lack of decor throughout the rooms they passed on their way to the living room. One room in particular caught his attention, which he guessed was Nowaki's room, because of the lack of emptiness. Despite his farsightedness, he recognized the doctor's coat laid on the bed. Nowaki's room. A flicker of curiosity sparked inside of his chest since he saw obscure items, scattered throughout the floor.

Turning the corner, Hiroki saw an old box style TV, way different from the flat screens a majority of people kept in their homes. It was even set on top of a glass cabinet, which held a DVD player, VCR, and a cable provider box. Nowaki held him in one arm while picking up a remote from the table in front of the couch. One arm. Hiroki guessed that his weight made him easier to carry.

Then again, Nowaki caused his current state of being.

Nowaki sat down onto the couch, positioning Hiroki onto his lap. He held Hiroki from behind, breathing down his neck, on hand around Hiroki's belly. Tightening his grip around him, to stop Hiroki from slipping onto the floor, he pushed the on button on the remote.

"What do you want to watch? I know there are some movies playing right now. We might have to search for them though."

Hiroki asked him. "What...what time is it?"

Nowaki frowned. He didn't like it when Hiroki tried avoiding his questions. "Hiro-san, what do you want to watch?"

Hiroki heard a warning tinge to Nowaki's tone. A flashback of his dream stopped him from making a scathing remark. His body stiffened without his consent. "A comedy."

Nowaki's mood rose up as he nuzzled his cheek against Hiroki's tense face. "Okay! I can look for a good one. You can tell me which one interests you. If there isn't many movies, we can always watch a variety game show. Those are pretty funny."

Hiroki looked at the screen, the words blurred from his tiredness and his horrible vision. "Can't see."

"Oops! I forgot you need glasses." Nowaki worried his lower lip. He didn't remember seeing Hiroki's glasses in his bag of papers when he first found him. Just picking any old glasses wouldn't work either. The wrong ones caused headaches or even worse results. "Not to worry, I can pick the movie for us. This way you don't have to strain your eyes from squinting to see the words."

"You're looking happier today, Kusama-san." The nurse on staff commented at seeing Nowaki's beaming smile. "Good news?"

Nowaki sighed in bliss, trilled at Hiroki's willingness to spend time with him. "I'm just making progress with my beloved. There were some problems recently, but we worked past them. I hate it when we have problems."

"Ah, so you are in a relationship with someone? That's good to know." She giggled, hiding her smile with her left hand, showing off her worn out wedding band. "You're breaking a lot of hearts on staff. A lot of ladies have put on a poll on who will capture your heart, but it looks like they have to cancel their plans."

Nowaki hid his disgust on their interest well enough that he still retained the refreshed type of man. He heard the gossip from the male staff who clapped his back, impressed at his ability to capture the attention of women without trying. Sure, his features brought them in, but his polite dismissive attitude, made it clear of his lack of interest. Plenty of women still continued on their quest in getting his attention, assuming his denial was a hard to get ploy or he didn't see their potential. Their desperate insistence did nothing more than stir his ire.

Smiling light, he gave out a light laugh. "No, no, I've been with my lover for years. No one had a chance in swaying my attention away from my beloved. I'm too faithful of a man to do so."

The nurse nodded her head, impressed at his values. "That's the way it should be. No cheating and remaining faithful to your love." She smiled down at her ring. "I remembered when my husband proposed to me, happiest day of my life." She peered up at him. "How long have you been with her?"

Nowaki played along, using the pronoun, her, he informed his co-worker. "Well, we've been together for six years. I should have proposed to her a few years back, but I wanted to complete my doctorate before I proposed. It's a bit selfish on my part to have her wait, then again, she was working on her teaching credentials when we first met. She didn't seem interested in marriage right away."

"A teacher! That's such a rewarding career. I have plenty of family who teach elementary school kids and they love it so much. Which area is she trying to specialize in? Has she started working with students?"

"Well, you see, she's already teaching students."

"Oh?"

"Yes, she teaches college students." Nowaki hunched his shoulders, smiling in a sheepish way. "She's four years older than me. Twenty-eight. She graduated way before me and I wanted nothing more than to show that I can provide a good life for her. I changed my major and found a love in medicine. I always loved children, so this change into pediatrics was a perfect fit. I still haven't met her parents yet, I'm hoping it's soon."

Surprised at the older age of Nowaki's girlfriend, she said. "I didn't know you were into older women, Kusama-san." Processing the rest of Nowaki's words, her eyes softened at the earnest way Nowaki spoke about his girlfriend. "I see. Well, I'm sure that she sees how hard you have worked for yourself, Kusama-san. I know you said that you did all this work to prove yourself to her, but going through sleepless nights of studying came from your effort."

"You misunderstand, I went through those nights for her to see that I worked just as hard as her." Nowaki insisted. "I didn't want her to see me as someone who didn't work to accomplish their word. I promised that I would make her proud. She was my tutor before we got together after all."

She gasped. "Oh excuse me, I didn't mean to assume the situation. What did she say when she heard you entered medical school?"

Nowaki blinked. "Ah...she was impressed that I managed to get into medical school, but she didn't react as high as I hoped. Still, she was thrilled that I got into such a hard major and kept up my grades."

In fact, Hiroki seemed surprised at his accomplishment. They broke contact for years, maybe he thought he abandoned his goals for whatever reason. Hiroki didn't have the awed expression as most people did when they heard of his profession. Older men and women offered their daughters, eyes gleaming at the chance of having a doctor in the family. Hiroki grew up in a lavish home, surrounded with people in high positions of power.

He didn't want Hiroki to lay his eyes onto someone else.

Now, Hiroki's life consisted of the four walls of their cabin. He could take care of him with the knowledge that Hiroki remained in one spot. Never again to wander into the public eye again.

Complacent and weak.

After years of loneliness, he deserved happiness.

"That's good. A lot of parents would be thrilled to have their daughter marry a doctor. She snagged you before you even entered to programs!" She checked the clock and let out a sigh. "I should get going. My break is almost finished and I'd rather not have someone call for me. Good luck on your girlfriend, Kusama-san."

Laying in the living room, Hiroki watched a movie with enough action and silly sentences where he let himself daydream. Focusing on the small plant on the windowsill, he tuned out the explosions and screams coming from the TV. The movie provided no intellectual stimulation for him. In his current mood, an action movie did nothing more than annoy him.

Before Nowaki left for the market, Nowaki left this movie on the screen as he settled him in the living room. Settling pillows on his back, tucking him under a blanket, Nowaki's eyes twinkled in satisfaction. Nowaki left him on the couch as a reward for his good behavior.

Hiroki found an untapped fountain of patience when dealing with Nowaki. A better word to describe his complacency was survival. Plain survival. He felt nothing for Nowaki. Any sense of sympathy about Nowaki's past struggles withered into nothing.

Nowaki snatched him away from his life, keeping him in a prison, away from everything and anyone that he interacted with.

Hearing the somewhat decent score of the movie, Hiroki's focus landed on the action scene playing on the screen. The effects weren't bad for the time period, he mused. He whispered comments about the horrible acting and ridiculous results from the actions of the characters.

The movie ended in a horrible cliffhanger.

Waste of time.

The credits rolled on the screen and Hiroki saw his face on the black areas without text. He looked retched. Worn out. Tired.

A vast difference from what he remembered the last time he looked in a mirror.

He remembered Nowaki muttering about his looks as he thrust into him. Either Nowaki played stupid or thought complimenting him would stir his vanity. He believed nothing that came out of Nowaki's mouth.

In an act of impulsiveness and desperation, Hiroki made a decision in trying to escape.

A decision which bit him in the ass a short time after he acted.

Hiroki jerked to the side, falling hard onto the hard wooden floor. His side ached from the impact. Swearing under his breath, he checked on the time on the old VCR Nowaki kept inside of the cabinet under the TV. A blinking time of 12:00 made him scream in frustration. Without the proper time, he couldn't calculate when Nowaki returned back from his errand. He didn't know what time Nowaki left the cabin.

His sudden plan to crawl to one of the doors, failed before it even began. He chose the wrong moment in his health to do such a thing. His body didn't obey him one bit. His arms and legs became heavy.

He cursed himself for his stupidity.

Shivering, Hiroki kept himself still, trying to preserve his body heat. Teeth chattering, he closed his eyes, a family movie played in the background. His heart yearned for the safety of his parents. At that moment, his powerlessness brought out the child inside of him. He wished for his father's embrace and his mother's soothing words.

Behind him, from the sound of the music and the dialogue, the movie reached its climax. He listened to the passionate speech of the father. The character declared his anguish at failing to protecting his wife and not wanting it to happen to his children.

In the end, the father and his children survived, a somewhat happy ending to their story.

From what seemed like hours, three locks clicked, and the front door opened. Nowaki's gleeful voice trailed throughout the cabin, echoing in the rooms which lacking furniture. "I'm back!" He went through the hallway, straight into the kitchen. He heard the TV playing in the living room, providing an extra set of voices in their cabin.

"Hiro-san, I managed to snag some oranges for you to eat." Nowaki set the bags onto the counter and began putting this groceries away in their proper places. "How was the movie? Was it good? I know another one played after it. I don't think I watched it before, maybe we can discuss it?" Hearing no response to his questions, Nowaki's jaw snapped closed.

Turning around, he stalked into the living room, ready to confront Hiroki for ignoring him. Maneuvering around the couch, he didn't see Hiroki on the couch, but on the floor, body shivering without control.

Any irritation left him in an instant.

"Hiro-san!" Nowaki clamored to his side, crouching down, he collected him in his arms. "What happened? How long have you been on the floor?"

Face flushed, Hiroki whispered out. "I don't know."

Setting Hiroki on the couch, Nowaki touched his forehead with the back of his hand. He touched his own to provide a comparison. "Oh my goodness, you have a fever!" He ran off into the kitchen, opening the cabinets he rambled. "I shouldn't have left you all alone in the living room! Look at what happened to you. Good thing you missed the table, you might have hurt yourself even more." He gathered a pan full of lukewarm water, towels, different medicines, and returned into the living room. Setting them down onto the coffee table, he left again to pick up some blankets from his room.

Nowaki's anger didn't resurface while he worked on reducing Hiroki's fever. Throughout the afternoon, Hiroki's fever spiked a dangerous line, a preventable part of illness which Hiroki didn't experience much in his adult life. Hiroki took real care of himself.

Hiroki's weakness caused this sickness to permeate throughout his body. The idea of Hiroki dying on him, terrified Nowaki into planning health rich foods to bring up Hiroki's strength back. He'd rather fight Hiroki, he doubted it since Hiroki kissed him back, than to have him die from a simple cold. Hiroki's body couldn't fight anything because of his lack of health.

Bashing himself for letting Hiroki get to this state, he sat on the floor, his face resting on the side of the couch. He watched Hiroki's chest as he breathed, hearing for any congestion in his chest. Hyper alert for any changes in Hiroki's state throughout that afternoon and during the night.

To be continued...