Chapter 8: Panic

Introduction

V/O (Midoriya): Wow, it feels like forever since I've done an introduction!

V/O (Bakugou): Can it, nerd! That's because you ain't the star of the story anymore!

V/O (Midoriya): Sorry, Kacchan! I am just excited to be doing this.

V/O (Bakugou): Yeah, whatever!

V/O (Midoriya): I wanted to ask if you're okay? You got really heated yesterday…

V/O (Bakugou): ARE YOU PATRONIZING ME!? HA? STUPID NERD! I DON'T NEED YOUR PITY!

V/O (Midoriya): S-sorry! You just seem...like something is wrong. And today in class you–

V/O (Bakugou): DON'T GO GIVING AWAY THE PLOT! DAMMIT DEKU, IT'S AN INTRODUCTION! NOT A SUMMARY! GET WITH IT!

V/O (Midoriya): Sorry Kacchan!

V/O(Bakugou): Tch…Look, something shitty happened yesterday and only got worse today…that's all I'm gonna say.

V/O(Midoriya): I see…wanna talk about it?

V/O (Bakugou): Not with you! And especially not in this introduction!

V/O(Midoriya): Kacchan, you know you don't have to deal with whatever's happening alone…

V/O(Bakugou): Stop telling me what to do! I don't need your advice…this introduction's over!

V/O (Bakugou and Midoriya): Plus Ultra.

Katsuki stirred, not sure what was going on or why his head suddenly felt like it was full of cotton; everything was so foggy and dense that he had no clue where he was. But as soon as those thoughts crossed his mind, the fog began to clear, not fully, but enough that he could see a bare, cold concrete room. This wasn't his dorm room and he realized he wasn't even in this room, as if looking on from the balcony seats of an auditorium, but more depressing and dark. In the middle of the desolate prison was a broken young girl, chained by her ankle. The rusted chain was in a twisted pile next to her. Blood stained the floor and her tattered clothing. Cuts and bruises coated the exposed parts of her frail looking body. She was crying and yelling things, but the words she was saying were incoherent. A tall, dark-clad man appeared through the fog. His face was indistinct, obscured, covered in shadow. An invisible dark aura around him sucked the gravity and air out of the room; it was suffocating, like drowning in dark, thick sludge–a feeling he was all too familiar with and a feeling he never wanted to experience again. This man approached the girl and kicked her down, before crouching down to her level and saying something to her. It was so clear like smooth glass yet grating like nails on a chalkboard which sent this unpleasant, chilling feeling coursing in his blood.

"Remember this…"

Katsuki shot up in a sweat, taking in a few deep breaths.

/What the hell was that?…/

He looked over to the clock that showed 5:00 a.m..

/Dammit.../

Katsuki brushed his bangs back, wiping the sweat off his forehead. The images were stuck in his head. The girl in his dream–though one would argue a nightmare– definitely resembled Hikari. Was this something that actually happened? Or did his mind make up what he thought she went through? He would rather the latter option considering the former would mean that Hikari somehow passed on a memory to him. In normal circumstances, a quirk evolution like this would be great but this wasn't a normal circumstance. Her quirk was already strong a huge pain in the ass on its own. It didn't need more level ups unless it was her being able to shut it off on command.

Katsuki growled. There was no point in trying to go back to sleep. Before Hikari, he'd have just gone on a run. However, since Hikari showed up, that whole routine went out the window, just like his last couple hours of sleep. There hasn't been a day where something didn't either set him off, put him out, or throw him off with her around. He couldn't catch a break. Sad part was, she also couldn't catch a break. If he was being honest, he intentionally skipped out on going on a run in the morning so as to not leave her alone in his dorm. Today would be no different. She just lost her entire family. He could only imagine what she was going through right now. Maybe he would break character and actually call out sick, stay home and help her move on.

In any case, Katsuki decided he'd wake her up first. What better way to move on than to focus on what the two of them could do; train to beat the crap out of that villain bastard who was to blame for all of this. He walked over and shook Hikari's shoulder.

"Wake up…"

Hikari opened her eyes and sat up slowly. Strands of her disheveled hair gently fell over her face. She looked frail and defeated. Katsuki clicked his tongue.

"Time to fight…"

Her red, puffy eyes looked down.

"No."

"What do you mean no?" Katsuki shouldn't have been surprised, but he found himself there.

"I said no...I'm done." Hikari kept her eyes away from him. She couldn't look him in the eyes. She knew this act of defiance would upset him but she had lost everything.

"Ha? You've given up?" Katsuki glared at her. She was right he would be upset. Though Katsuki himself couldn't figure out why that was. He shouldn't be pissed off by this. And yet, here he was, angry feelings bubbling over like boiling water in a tea kettle.

"Yeah...there isn't any point."

"No point? You've fallen that much, crybaby?" Katsuki clenched his fists. The strong, determined girl from yesterday was gone. The same girl he actually admired for a second yesterday was now an empty shell of the girl from day one, but worse. All the effort and hard work to get this far were for nothing. It stung.

"Just leave me alone…"

Something in Katsuki erupted and he suddenly and forcefully grabbed the collar of her shirt. She flinched again.

"You really have some nerve! No point? You're done? Don't fuck with me! This isn't a 'you problem' anymore and ya can't go decidin' to give up that easily! I brought ya here...I'm the one risking my dream on a crybaby weakling like you! And you have the balls to give up! Screw you! And ya wanna be a hero..."

"I didn't ask you to save me!" Hikari yelled, "You should have just left me there! Then Hi-chan wouldn't be dying and Mom and Dad would still be alive!" Hikari glared at Katsuki. Katsuki could feel the blame and resentment grab hold of him. He couldn't help but cough out a laugh.

"There it is…" He let go of her.

"Wait...I…"

"You're right...they would be fine if I didn't save your ass…there's no changing things now. You wanna give up? Fine, give up. I'm still gonna beat the shit out of Despair, with or without ya, because he is the actual problem." Katsuki grabbed his backpack.

"Katsuki, I didn't..."

Katsuki left the room before she finished and went right to class. He didn't want to hear her say anymore or try to retract her confession. He needed her to say she blamed him. She wasn't allowed to take it back now! It hurt–but he would claim otherwise. Afterall, he was Katsuki Bakugou and Katsuki Bakugou didn't get hurt by words. He was used to it: the blame. Usually he'd tell them off, but time had changed him. Hikari had changed him. He welcomed the blame because of how it made him feel, like shit, and he felt he deserved to feel that way. Blaming himself lit a fire under him to do better, to be better.

He decided to head to class early. After all, he had no other place to go this early. Nothing was open except the campus. His thought to stay in the dorms today burned the moment he opened his mouth. Clearly his attempts at helping her move on riled her up. Plus he couldn't shake off being pissed off at her– or maybe it was disappointment. Either way, he would have kept yelling at her if he stayed and that would have put him in a worse mood. He needed to give her time to calm down. He also needed time to calm his shit and clear his mind.

Katsuki arrived at the empty classroom, taking his own seat next to the window. A gentle breeze from the opened window cooled the room and brought with it the reminder that it was way too early in the morning. The feeling of resentment lingered in his head. It was unsettling but it brought him some weird sense of comfort. He took out his textbook and began looking over the material they went over yesterday in class–escaping from his thoughts of Hikari and her stupid feelings.

Katsuki absorbed himself into his textbook and in his notebook. He copied down anything he found relevant and note-worthy, adding far more details than necessary to keep his mind focused on medial school work. Before he knew it, he had fifteen pages of notes for one chapter–practically almost copying the damn chapter word for word. What the hell was wrong with him? He didn't really need an answer for that. It was Hikari's quirk. Must be because while he was way too focused in his book, which he assumed Hikari must also be way too focused on something in the dorm room, he realized he never felt this focused on school work before. Not to mention he was also feeling really sad, like the sad where you want to curl up and die sad, and there was NO REASON for him to feel that way. So yes, it was Hikari's quirk. He looked up at the clock and realized it had been an hour. His eyes widened.

/...it should have went away by now….is this a new manifestation of her quirk../

Another hour passed and students began to filter in. In that hour, Katsuki had stopped reading his text book and tried to assess what was happening. He felt several shifts of emotions; there were varying degrees of regret, sadness, and anger that kept coming in waves, over and over spinning in his head like a merry-go-round on the sea.

The other students didn't dare to interrupt his "studying," not even his closest friends. He looked intense, way more than usual, and none of them wanted to face his wrath for interrupting him. In this moment, he didn't know anyone had arrived and was managing the best poker face without even trying. A skill he could be proud of when he was slightly "panicking'' but clearly didn't even notice.

/Is this happening in real time? The hell!? This is the first time I've felt her emotions fluctuate like this...wait...no...last night, I think it happened, too...and maybe that other time...dammit…then there's that shitty dream…/

"Okay, class, today we will be going over rescue protocols…" Mr. Aizawa called from the podium. Katsuki heard the man, but didn't even realize he had arrived.

Aizawa droned on, his voice was background noise for Katsuki, afterall he was in his own head, trying to figure out what was happening. The feelings were changing and inconsistent and driving him insane. Two manifestations of her quirk in 24 hours felt like overkill. It was evolving into something stronger. Leveling up to an even more annoying, pain in the ass quirk, especially in the hands of someone who was overly emotional to begin with and didn't even have a handle on it. It was unnerving, disturbing, noticeable and without even realizing it, Katsuki was beginning to grow terrified, uneasy, concerned, wary of her quirk. He was going to ignore the electrical signals his body was sending him in sheer warning. He won't be beaten by this quirk and like hell he was going to be scared of it. He's not gonna lose, not today.

Hagakure turned to hand Bakugou the paper Aizawa just passed out. She froze.

"Uh, Bakugou? Are you okay?...You're crying." Katsuki had tears coming out of his eyes. He lost this challenge he had for himself–off to an excellent start. An overwhelming sense of sadness hit him in that instant and gave him no time to hold the tears back or realize what was happening.

"Like hell I am! A bug flew in my eye…" He rubbed his eyes with one hand while grabbing the papers out of Hagakure's hand with the other. He passed the rest back to Midoriya, who took it.

"Kacchan, are you okay?" Midoriya whispered.

"Shut up, nerd, I'm fine!" Katsuki whispered back with pure frustration, strained and almost choked.

/This is insane...it's like we're connected...freakin' great…./

He examined the paper he had received. It had a series of questions about rescue procedures. Katsuki stared at the questions. He was reading them, over and over again but he couldn't understand what the questions were asking him. Drops of tears fell onto the paper. He rubbed his eyes to get them to stop.

/Stupid crybaby! I feel like I'm losing my mind!.../

"Bakugou."

/Damnit! I can't even focus...stupid girl.../

"Bakugou..."

/I don't even know how to answer these...this stupid quirk!.../

"Bakugou!'

Katsuki jolted up and found his eyes met Aizawa's, who looked rather irritated. He had been trying to get Bakugou's attention and being ignored was something that tried his patience.

"If there's a problem, go to the nurse…."

"Like I said, it's just a–" Katsuki paused abruptly. All the color in his face left him in that instant and the look of panic took over. This sudden change even shocked Aizawa.

"Baku-"

"Yeah...the nurse." Katsuki shot right up and ran out the door. The class silently stared at the door, wondering what just happened. Aizawa also stared for a moment before clearing his throat.

"Let's get back to class…" Aizawa started teaching again, before any of the other students could start talking to themselves about Bakugou's sudden odd behavior. He decided to leave the boy and check on him later. He wasn't one to break the rules so he trusted he would make it to the nurse's office.

Katsuki never went to the nurse. In fact, he ran right toward the dorm.

/That idiot!.../

Images of Hikari played in his head, like a screenplay of the events that took place these past few days. Starting with that rainy day, when they first met. She had knocked him over, trying to run from her captors.

/Crybaby!.../

When he swiped Kaminari's ID and snuck her into the dorms in a duffle bag.

/Idiot!.../

When she hid in a box and almost got caught in Kirishima's room. He had to go out that day with Kirishima and Kaminari even though he refused the invitation.

/Why?.../

When they sparred so that she could get stronger. She picked up on fighting rather quickly and was actually good.

/Don't you dare!.../

He pushed through the door of the dorm and beelined it for the stairs, slamming into the wall first before getting a grip and opening the door to the stairway.

More images flashed in his head, of her smiling, of her crying, of them talking, and of them arguing.

Katsuki fumbled with his key card and the moment the green light came on he threw the door open. Hikari was on the balcony. His eyes widened and time just sort of stopped right there. No, time doesn't just stop but apparently it can move so slow that even a snail could beat it in a race. Accurately, Katsuki's mind was moving faster than the world around him, causing everything around him to go slow-motion.

A repugnant feeling lingered above the surface of his mind and, immediately as he recognized its existence, he shoved it right back down, putting it in its place. He needed to take in the situation rationally and didn't need THAT feeling to be involved in it, whatever that feeling was. Hikari wanted to die, he felt that in the classroom the moment Aizawa told him he should see the nurse. She was on the balcony now just standing there, not dead, not standing on the railing, just there and there was absolutely something unsettling about it making the pit in Katsuki's stomach grow. Her hands were resting on the railing and she was very still, except for her her hair that was blowing around in the wind. Every strand tangling and flowing with the bursts of wind that for some reason picked up just now. He could see every single strand. Every. Single. Strand. Why the hell was he so focused on this? No, he wasn't focused on the hair, it was the wind. But the wind's not strong enough to knock her over so why was he worried? Why did he feel like the worst was about to come? And now her arms were moving, elbows out as if she was putting pressure on the railing. She is probably just stretching, right? No way she is pushing herself up onto the railing, no way. But…that isn't what his mind is telling him. The images crashed right in, giving him a whiplash of the feelings he buried–effectively putting him in his place instead of the other way around.

He really couldn't explain this feeling but the memory of when he felt this way was clear as day. It was that brief moment when Shigaraki's dark tendrils were about to shoot out and skewer Deku in the war against the Paranormal Liberation Army. Of course it only lasted a brief moment because the next thing he knew he was the one getting swiss cheesed by Handsy.

If he was feeling this way it must mean she really was going to…

His breath got caught in his throat and his chest was tight, as if his heart stopped for a second.

This was panic.

"IDIOT! STOP!" Katsuki ran toward her. She flinched before turning and looking at him, a look of pure confusion on her face. He felt that, too. The shock of it made him trip and fall in front of her.

"A..are you okay?" Hikari crouched down. It was startling. This was the first time she had seen him so worked up.

"You…." Katsuki's voice wavered in pure frustration. "I'll kill you!" Katsuki sat up, glaring at Hikari.

Hikari felt a shiver up her spine, he really looked like he would kill her. It took a second of actual thought before her facial expression changed to neutral and calm as she looked at him head on.

"If that would fix things…then do it…"

Katsuki froze. Who the hell just accepts something like that? Was she that done with herself that death was better? His face contorted, already fed up with this.

"ARGH!" Katsuki punched his hand, creating sparks before letting out a shaky sigh.

"I don't understand you at all…idiot, don't just go accepting death so easily…" Katsuki said, before resting his forehead in his hand. "Dammit…your shitty quirk told me you wanted to die…so I ran back here and here you are on the freakin' balcony! I really believed you were gonna jump…"

Hikari stared at Katsuki, she bit her lip. He could feel waves of overwhelming sadness and a little bit of relief.

"You came back…because you thought I was gonna kill myself? You shouldn't care though… I said all those mean things earlier...I've caused you a lot of trouble...honestly...I did think about jumping, but I got really scared and I couldn't do it," Hikari responded, tears beginning to fall. "I'm sorry...I can't do anything right! All you've done was be helpful and I ended up repaying you by giving you more problems…I'm awful…"

"You're a pain in the ass...but I don't want you dead…and you're actually not that bad…fuck, look, we can't change what happened but you're not the only one who has to live with it either. What we can do... is take down that bastard but the only way to do that is continue to move forward…" He wiped his own eyes. The tips of his ears were red.

/Katsuki.../

Hikari felt, for the first time in a long time, hopeful. Katsuki felt it as well before all the feelings dissipated.

"Finally…." Katsuki sighed. He was finally free of this torture.

"Wait, you said you felt my feelings at school? But you left hours ago…"

"Apparently your quirk manifested, or, you could always do this…but guess you can connect with others...since this morning I havent stopped feeling every stupid emotion going through your stupid head...really was a pain..."

"...that sounds like torture," Hikari smiled, red eyed and teary.

"It isn't funny! Shit, I should head back to class...Aizawa's gonna yell my ear off..." Katsuki got up and went to leave.

"Katsuki…"

Katsuki stopped and looked back.

"Thank you."

He gave her a disgruntled look.

"Whatever! Just don't die before I come back or I'll kill you myself!" Katsuki ran back to class.

. . .

"Where were you this whole time?!" Aizawa had Katsuki wrapped in his cloth. Aizawa had caught him in the hallway by the staff room.

"I called the nurse and she said you were never there!" Aizawa raised his voice and tightened his grip, making Katsuki tense up under the wraps. He was pissed and had every right to be. Katsuki said he was going to the nurse, and never got there. He knew Katsuki had no problem breaking some rules, but it was usually after school hours and for one reason or another–always logical and understandable. However, this act of defiance was during class. What fueled his anger was that he trusted Katsuki and Katsuki broke his trust. But what really upset him was that he was worried. Where did Bakugou go and for so long?

"I didn't make it to the nurse and threw up in the bathroom..." he responded.

"You were gone longer than it should take to empty your stomach..."

"It...didn't all come up right away…" Katsuki avoided eye contact. Coming up with believable excuses was getting tougher. Aizawa let go of him.

"Are you going to be okay? You looked like you were about to die."

Katsuki twitched.

"Yeah...I think so."

"You still look like crap so go to the nurse's office...if I find out you didn't get there again…"

"I'll go, I'll go…" Katsuki interrupted, clearly annoyed by Aizawa's pestering.

"Bakugou..." Aizawa's demonic aura made Katsuki regret sounding so pissed off at his teacher.

"Sorry, sir; I'm going now," Katsuki turned in the direction of the nurse.

Aizawa watched Katsuki walk away. He knew Bakugou never lied about anything but he couldn't help but question if Katsuki was hiding something. Katsuki's bizarre behavior in class today and then going missing made him skeptical. He had also heard from the other teachers that Katsuki seemed out of it in their classes. They weren't entirely worried about it though since he did answer when he was called on, and definitely proved he knew the material or showcased advanced material they were not covering.

/Something's up.../

. . .

"Well, that was fun...wasn't expecting to go out and kill a whole village tonight. You're always full of surprises, bossman," Uzer said, stretching his arms up in the air as he followed Despair, Recorder, and Tranzmitter down the long hallway of their lair.

"I hope I don't hear sarcasm in your voice, Uzer. We had no choice. Plans change...and I need to find out why," Despair smiled. Uzer looked away from him. That smile wasn't pleasant. There was murderous intent behind that smile. He was clearly upset that something was foiling his plans.

"I'm sure you'll find out what happened, sir," Recorder said, her face in a book as she walked. She always was able to say the right thing to calm Despair down.

"You got this, boss," Tranzmitter cheered with a sleepy smile.

"In any case, Recorder, don't forget your next task," Despair pointed at Recorder.

"Right, boss; I'll head out shortly."

"Everyone else, be ready when I call you," Despair said, closing himself in his room before the other two had any time to respond.

"He is way too cryptic…" Uzer sighed.

Tranzmitter yawned.

. . .

"This is the second time this week you've thrown up, you might be coming down with something…" Recovery Girl said, examining Katsuki.

"I feel fine now...I probably ate something bad," Katsuki responded. He couldn't tell her he didn't throw up and was running to make sure his secret didn't take a one-chance dive off the building.

"If that's the case, then you need to watch it, sonny. Your throat won't be the only thing that gets damaged if you continue to throw up without giving your body anytime to heal itself, " Recovery Girl retorted.

"Right..."

"Anyway, did that yogurt drink help you the other day, deary? I might recommend you have those when your stomach's upset."

"Yeah...I'll be sure to go out and get some," Katsuki said. He already had a bunch in his fridge, but didn't want to admit he had grown fond of them.

"Okay then, head back to class," Recovery Girl shooed him away before she swiveled in her chair and began typing on the computer.

Katsuki returned to class as Present Mic continued his English lesson. All eyes were on him as he angrily walked over and took his seat.

"Kacch-"

"I'm fine!" Katsuki whispered angrily, interrupting Midoriya. Why couldn't his seat be in the back, where he wouldn't be bothered by this crap. All his life, Midoriya always worried about him and always asked if he was okay when he was at his worst. He hated it, still hated it. He didn't want to lose to Deku, the one who was quirkless when they were kids, the one chosen by All Might, and then one who always seemed to surpass him even though he was stronger.

Class went by quickly, and soon enough the bell rang indicating classes were over. Katsuki tried to get back to his room as quickly as he could, but was stopped by multiple classmates on the way. He felt like a broken record explaining he felt nauseous and just had to throw up. At a certain point he was just yelling at them, letting them know he was fine and to go talk to someone else to get answers– totally characteristic of him.

Finally he made it.

"48...49...50!" Hikari was doing push ups and collapsed when Katsuki entered.

"Looks like you're doing better." Katsuki put his things down.

"A little…I caused you a lot of trouble today...and we didn't get to spar... so I wanted to make up for it... it took me the whole afternoon, but I did 50 whole pushups!" Hikari looked, nose upturned in a way that showed she was somewhat proud of herself.

/What a stupid girl.../

"Be more impressive if you got to 100…" Katsuki smirked. It was good to see her in better spirits.

"Push ups are hard though!" Hikari whined.

"They aren't suppose to be easy, stupid." Katsuki grabbed two yogurt drinks from the fridge.

"I guess you're right," Hikari sighed. She moved her attention to the window.

Katsuki stared at her for a moment. He walked over and put one of the yogurt drinks next to her.

"Here."

"Thanks," Hikari replied, taking the drink.

"By the look on your face, you thinkin' 'bout your brother?" Katsuki asked, stabbing the drink with a straw before sipping at it.

"Yeah. I hope he pulls through…" Hikari tried to hold back from crying. She pushed the straw through and starting drinking it, hoping it would stop her from crying.

"You know, the villains probably left him alive to be bait…"

"I know…"

"If we go, we could be falling into their trap."

"I know...I can't go see him. As much as it hurts, it's best we don't go."

"We're gonna go."

Hikari's eyes widened and she looked at Katsuki.

"But…"

"He is in critical condition so he may not make it...and even if he does, if the villains see no value in him, they'll probably kill him. This could be your only chance...I have a plan."

Katsuki went over everything with Hikari.

They would leave at night.