Leila

Uhura was having fun just being with Spock, they were finally doing something she loved, shopping. She insisted that they pick up souvenirs for all her friends on the ship. And Uhura had a considerable amount of friends Spock noted as the bags and packages he had offered to carry became numerous. But he understood that Nyota had a kind and generous heart. She would not enjoy this shore leave if she could not bring back a little of her enjoyment. She had gifted everyone on the enterprise a bit of joy when she brought the tribble aboard. That was just a bit too much joy but still, she had meant well.

And so he was standing in the sunshine of the crowded shopping district as Uhura went from stall to stall haggling with shop owners. Spock watched her with a feeling of pride he didn't know he was capable of feeling. He couldn't take his eyes off of her. They had spent the entire day together at the Spa yesterday and today they had spent the day idly browsing the tourist locations. Spock had never felt more content with his life. So, he should have known his peace was not to last long.

"Mr. Spock!"

Someone called his name and he reluctantly looked around. There across the crowded alley stood a part of his past he had not expected to see here on Argelius. Leila Kalomi.

She walked towards him as graceful as ever with her big blue eyes and bouncing curls of gold. She was a vision of loveliness.

"Miss Kalomi," Spock said formally when she finally stood face to face with him.

"Miss? Why are you being so formal?"

Spock didn't answer.

"I couldn't believe it when I saw you at first. A Vulcan on Argelius? But I couldn't mistake you for anyone else." She smiled at him. "Are you shopping?" She glanced at the packages he was holding.

Spock didn't know how to answer her. He was rarely at a loss for words but Leila had thrown him for a loop.

"Yes," he finally said when he could think of nothing else.

"So, how have you been?"

"I have been well. And yourself?"

"I have been well also," Leila mimicked his formal speech pattern. "What are you doing here on Argelius? Is the Enterprise in orbit?"

"No. I am here on leave." Spock looked over to Uhura still haggling with a stall owner.

She saw him looking and waved at him playfully.

Leila followed his gaze, "She's beautiful, Mr. Spock," Leila said as she saw the exchange. "Who is she?"

"She is my wife," Spock said.

"Your...wife?" Leila stuttered on the word.

"Yes."

"You're married? To..." Leila watched Uhura as she bartered with the shop owner, "she looks so human."

"She is very human."

"But I thought... I thought you couldn't-" Leila was confused. Spock married? To a human!

Uhura approached them with another package for Spock to carry.

"I hate to burden you with another one, if it is too much we can just go back to our room and regroup," Uhura joked.

"It is no hardship, however, I believe we should return and unburden ourselves," Spock said cryptically.

"Oh, okay." Uhura noticed Leila staring at her. Not wanting to be rude, or outdone, she stared back. "Do I know you...miss?"

"This is Leila Kalomi. An old friend," Spock said.

Uhura looked up at Spock. His strange tone of voice did not escape her notice.

"Lieutenant Uhura of the starship Enterprise," Uhura said as she held out her hand introducing herself. Leila looked at her proffered hand as if it were a snake about to strike. "Okay then," Uhura dropped her hand. "You look familiar, have we met before?"

"I was on the Enterprise once. You rescued our colony and I was a passenger aboard."

"Oh, well that explains it. Unfortunately, I don't have the perfect recall like this one," she nudged Spock. "Spock, you don't have to accompany me back to our suite. You stay and visit with your um... with Miss um...?" She gave Spock a questioning look but he just looked at her blankly.

"Kalomi," Leila said when Spock remained silent.

"Stay with your Miss Kalomi, I'll be fine without you," She was smiling but the smile never reached her eyes. For his part, Spock knew this was a disaster. His wife was very upset. With him. As usual.

"No, there is no need for us to linger." He turned to Leila. "It was agreeable to see you again Miss Kalomi. I hope you are well and I bid you peace and long life."

He turned back to Uhura, "Shall we then, my Wife," he said with emphasis. Before they could take a step Leila called out.

"Mr. Spock, please wait." Leila reached out to him. "Surely your wife can spare you for a few moments while we catch up?"

"Perhaps another time," Spock said as he tried to disentangle himself from her.

"When? Who knows when we will meet again if ever?"

"She's right Spock, stay and chat. I told you I will be fine without you."

Spock did not want to stay and chat with Leila Kalomi. Once again the universe was conspiring against him! He watched his wife storm off while he was left holding her parcels.

He turned back to Leila, "I suppose we shall have that chat now."

They found a dark and quiet cafe that offered soft music and candlelit tables. They took their seats near a back corner. If there was going to be a scene Spock did not want another disturbance where he would have to make amends. He had already paid a hefty sum of credits to settle things with the brothel owner.

Fighting alongside his wife and running away into the night with her had produced a very pleasant feeling in Spock, especially when she agreed to allow him to carry her to his hotel suite.

But those pleasant feelings were fading as he sat opposite Leila Kalomi. He did not want to have the conversation that was to follow. There would be no easy way to say the things that needed to be said.

Leila could not believe her eyes. Spock, her Spock, married. To a human woman? How did this happen? How could he do this to her? He said he couldn't love her, that he couldn't give her what she wanted and yet he was married to this Lieutenant Uhura?

Spock had simply walked away from her. He had walked away from her on Earth when they first met, and he had walked away from her after the disaster on Omicron Ceti III when they met again, and now today he would have just walked away from her again to follow his 'wife'. Had their love meant nothing to him at all that he could just walk away from her and leave her standing in a crowded street, alone?

"You bastard!"

"Leila," Spock said not expecting such an attack.

"It's Leila now? I noticed you called me Miss Kalomi in front of your wife. Does she know about me, about us?"

"There is no US."

"How can you say that Spock? We loved each other." She still loved him.

"I know that you loved me-"

"You loved me too on Omicron Ceti III! I know you did! How can you sit there and pretend that we never loved at all?"

"Leila," Spock sighed. "The man that cared for you on Omicron Ceti III was not the man I am today."

"Then who was he, Mr. Spock. Who was the man who loved me?"

"He was a product of the spores and their influence. That version of myself was not behaving rationally."

"It was not the spores," Leila protested. "The spores only made you whole and happy. They didn't make you-"

"Love you?" Spock finished.

"No, they didn't! You were happy Spock, we were happy together."

Leila reached out her hand desperate to touch his but Spock drew back as if she burned him.

"No. I thought I knew happiness for a brief moment. But it was just that, a brief moment. Something artificial, induced by the Spores. Real contentment is being at peace with one's self and one's choices."

"And are you happy now, with her?"

"She is my wife. I am... satisfied."

"That's all, just satisfied? After all these years you still can't love?"

Spock was silent.

"Then I feel sorry for her. If you can't love her then why did you even marry her? Why did you marry that woman when you couldn't marry me?" Leila demanded.

Spock didn't know how to placate Leila. No matter what he told her it would hurt her. The only thing he could offer her now was the truth. "Leila, when I met you on Earth, and again on Omicrom Celtic III I was already bonded to another," Spock confessed.

"What are you saying?"

"I was, what humans would call, engaged to be married when we met."

Leila shook her head in denial. She could not believe her ears. Spock had cheated on a fiancee to be with her?

"What? How? With her?" Leila accused.

"No. Vulcans are pair bonded at the age of seven in anticipation of marriage. My bondmate T'pring remained on Vulcan while I joined Starfleet. I regret that I did not tell you this before."

No! It couldn't be. All this time Spock belonged to another? He had never belonged to her? All this time she had pined away for the love of her life, her first and only love and meanwhile he had a fiancee and a wife and God knew how many other women in between?

"You regret not telling me? That's it? You regret it? Do you really Mr. Spock? Was there no time while we were on Earth or on the Enterprise together that you could have told me you were spoken for?" Leila said through angry tears.

"It was a private matter. I didn't discuss T'Pring with anyone."

"Not even the woman you professed to love?"

"I have told you I was not myself when I...cared for you."

Leila shook her head, "You can't even admit that you loved me, even now. And yet you are married to a human woman? How did that happen?"

"It is a long and complicated story of how I became bound to Nyota.

I cannot explain it completely but I am indeed pleased."

Spock's words broke Leila's heart, even more, hearing him say these things when he could never even hold her hand. "How wonderful for you. I guess I didn't please you? My love wasn't enough for you?"

Spock didn't want to hurt her any more than he already had but he could not lie either.

"No. It was not enough. Contrary to popular human belief, love is not all there is to life. Some emotions transcend love."

"So what? Do you have feelings for that woman that transcend love? Feelings you didn't have for me?"

"Nyota is my Th'yla."

"What is that?"

"A T'hy'la is more than a friend, it is even more than a lover. I suppose humans would call it a soulmate though to Vulcans it is not necessarily romantic. Nyota has become the other half of my soul. She...completes me."

"But does she love you?" And do you really love her? Leila wondered.

Spock could not answer her question so he remained silent.

Leila laughed through her bitter tears. "Do you know Mr. Spock, since we parted, I've often imagined meeting you again? I imagined I would be with my own husband and perhaps our child and I would see you quite by accident. I would and introduce you to my family and I would watch your face to see your reaction when you realized that you'd lost me. Imagine my shock to have my fantasy thrown back in my face." Leila said.

"How did I look?"

"I beg your pardon?" Spock asked.

"How did my face look, Mr. Spock? How did I look when you said you were married and I realized that I had lost the only man I'd ever loved?"

"Leila, I am sorry-"

"You're damned right you are. I thought you were different but I guess not. I guess you're a complicated man, Mr. Spock. I hope she understands you better than I did."

"Yes, I believe she does."

"Well, I suppose that's something positive. And I suppose there is nothing left for me to say." She stood from her seat.

"Mr. Spock, I wish you and your wife peace and long life. And I wish you love, for all the good it will do you."

"Leila," Spock said to her retreating back. "Live long, and prosper."