Oops! I did it again?

Since getting back from her shore leave, Uhura felt worse than ever before. She was constantly surrounded by reminders of Spock when she was alone and she was constantly with him at work. He didn't ignore her as he had done the first time they returned from shore leave together. He treated her as a courteous colleague and if possible that was even worse.

She had spent a week in close quarters with Spock and now she was used to him. She hated going back to her quarters because he wasn't there. She hated going to bed without his familiar presence sleeping beside her on his pallet on the floor. Eating alone sucked too. She never even realized that Spock had wormed his way into the marrow of her life and now that he was gone it left a hollow shell.

She missed him. Did Spock miss her too? Of course, she would never know because he didn't wear his emotions on his sleeve as she did. She felt like she'd lost her best friend in the whole world. But all she had to do was accept Spock's proposal and you can have him back. With strings attached, but those strings were starting to not seem so bad. She had tried to convince her self that she and Spock could go back to being just friends but there was no going back after all they'd been through together. There was only one way to go, forward, with or without him. That was the question.

"All right Nyota what's wrong now?" Sulu asked as they loaded into the turbo lift together after their shift on the bridge. She had that old sad expression he was beginning to recognize as the "Spock" look.

"Nothing. Just personal stuff."

"Girl stuff again? Or better yet, Spock stuff?" he asked amused. He knew she meant Spock stuff so she might as well come clean.

"Yes, Spock stuff but I don't want to talk about it."

"Ok. I understand. Your relationship is none of my business."

"There is no relationship!" She said suddenly and she broke into tears. "We're separated!"

"What?!" Sulu said. He turned the handbrake on the lift and it jolted to a halt mid-deck.

"Separated? How? Why? What happened?" Sulu asked as Uhura cried on his shoulder.

"It's all my fault. First I wouldn't sleep with him as his wife so he slept on the floor and then—"

"What!" Sulu said in outrage. No, that Bastard didn't!

"He broke up with you because you wouldn't sleep with him?" Sulu asked with disgust.

"No. No, I wanted to share a bed and he said he wouldn't share my bed unless it was our marriage bed! And then his girlfriend showed up-"

"What?! Spock has a girlfriend?! You mean that Vulcan woman?"

"No, a human woman. You probably met her. Leila Kalomi, she was from Omicron Ceti III."

"So what does she have to do with anything? How is she Spocks girlfriend?"

"She showed up on Argelius, I guess she works there or something. So she shows up on the street and says she and Spock are 'old friends' and demands Spock talk to her and next thing you know she shows up to our hotel trying to tell me about my husband! I almost lost my cool, Hik, but I said to myself 'no Ny don't do it.'. But then Spock showed up and he took her side!"

"What!" Sulu felt he was out of his element. This story sounded crazy even for Spock and Nyota. Just what the hell happened on Argelius?

"So he broke up with you for this girlfriend?"

"No," she sniffled. "He said he had been patient with me! Can you believe his nerve? He said I didn't respect his boundaries. Why, because I offered to share a bed with him? So I should let him sleep on the floor! Or because I kissed him in public? He kissed me back! And so what we got into a fight in a brothel? He's the one who started it. His ex showed up demanding I tell her about our relationship, not mine. I didn't ask her to show up. But somehow because I let her into our hotel room I'm at fault?! I'm done with Spock!"

"So you broke up with him?"

"No, aren't you listening? He said we should separate. I'm done with him!"

"You don't mean that. You're crazy about him," emphasis on crazy Sulu thought.

"No, I'm not, I'm done! I can't be whatever it is he wants me to be."

"What did he say he wanted you to be?"

Uhura just sniffled.

"Ny?"

"What?"

"What did he say he wanted?"

"He didn't say anything exactly..."

"What did he say precisely as Mr. Spock would phrase it?"

"I don't know precisely I couldn't believe he was saying it. He said that he had never been a husband before and he didn't know what to do either. And he kinda proposed to me..."

"He proposed to you?" Sulu asked dumbfounded.

Nyota nodded her head sadly.

"Then why the hell are you two separated?!"

"Because he wants to be my husband!"

"He is your husband!" Sulu practically yelled losing his cool finally.

"Yes but-"

"But what?" Sulu wanted to strangle her. He truly felt Spock's pain and he realized that no matter how cute Nyota was she was too much for him. He had dodged a bullet when he realized she wasn't attracted to him.

"Oh Hik, I just don't know what to do. I'm a mess. I'm the one being 'obstinate'. I'm just so afraid that I will fuck up this marriage that it's making me fuck up this marriage! I don't want to hurt Spock but all I can think to do is push him away. What the hell is wrong with me?"

"I don't know Ny, only you know why you're doing what you're doing. Maybe you should have another talk with the ships new counselor?"

"Maybe I'm just like my mother. She can't keep a man either, she pushed my father away too."

"You don't know that. And you can have any man you want and you can keep him too if you'd just get out of your own way. But did you ever think this isn't all up to you? You don't have to make everything work, it takes two. That's what Spock was trying to tell you."

"You think so?"

"I know so. I think all of your fears could be addressed by just sitting down and talking with Spock. Have an honest and open conversation and tell him what you are afraid of. Don't hide behind your pride."

"That's the scariest thing you've ever said. I'd rather fight a Gorn."

"I know honesty is not easy, it's especially hard to be honest with yourself. But if the two of you want to be together and be happy then you'll have to be honest with one another."

"How do you know so much about marriage all of a sudden?"

"I don't know. I'm just going to watch you and Spock and do the opposite." He said.

"Hikaru! That's not funny." Then she laughed at the absurdity of it all. "Thank you Hik." Uhura hugged Sulu tight and wept on his shoulder some more.

"Just talk to Spock the way you're talking to me and you'll be fine. You should be crying on his shoulder, not mine."

"Okay, I'll try."

"Do not try, just do it. And Spock better not break up with you after all he's put me through. If he even tries I'll kick his ass myself."

"You'd have to take him to Vulcan and challenge him to a Lirpa fight." Uhura joked. "Vulcans used to fight duels to the death for their women in the past," Still do, she thought to herself.

"Is that so? It sounds barbaric."

"Hmm. It is. Winner takes all. What would you do if you won me?"

"If I won you I'd never let you go." He said hugging her tight.

Just then the lift started up and the doors opened to a corridor filled with people waiting.

"Uh-oh," Uhura said as she looked at the sea of shocked faces, Christine Chapel among them. And Christine looked as if she could spit dragon fire.

Just great!

/*-/*-/

Uhura was mortified. Forget the gasps and the shocked faces of everyone who was waiting for the lift. Forget the whispers that were going around about her and Sulu being caught in the lift together. But she couldn't get over the fact that she had been caught out in public crying! She would never live it down. She didn't want people to see her vulnerable like that. She wanted people to see her as Lieutenant Uhura head of communications, not some weeping lily.

Spock was ruining her reputation! Okay, she was being dramatic but still, this relationship was putting a ding in her social standing. And poor Hikaru! He didn't deserve any of the gossip being flung his way either. All he was doing was being a good friend. And now the gossips were labeling him as a player. Well, maybe he didn't mind that but she did. She hated to do it but she was going to have to steer clear of Sulu for a while until the gossip died down.

And then there was Spock. He was on an away mission with the Captian and Dr. McCoy but what would she do when he returned? Would she have that long conversation they had been dancing around for the past few weeks? Every time she thought about it her stomach twisted in knots.

And what about Christine? She looked as if she had swallowed a turd and Uhura had fed it to her. Why should Christine care who Nyota hugged? She was just being her usual busybody self. The last thing Uhura needed or wanted was Christine meddling in her affairs. She had just gotten rid of one of Spock's women. Christine would be light work but Nyota didn't want to go there with her. So she was back to hiding out in her quarters and avoiding people. It was probably for the best. She still needed time to think and regroup. She had only been married a few weeks and she was already separated and they hadn't even been officially together! It must be a record or something.

Sulu was right, she needed to talk to Spock. But until then she had to consider his proposal. Spock had given her everything she had asked for including asking her to marry him properly. But he couldn't give her the one thing she was afraid to ask for. And that was the crux of her dilemma. Could Spock love her? And if he could not, could she live with him without his love or would she be brave enough to let him go?

This was the last straw! Nyota was supposed to be Spock's wife yet she was flaunting herself around with Sulu behind his back! When Christine believed their marriage was in name only she ignored Uhura's fling with Sulu but now that she had evidence that Ny and Spock were lovers, at least they looked that way all cozy and kissing in a disco, she was not going to tolerate it. Spock needed to know the truth about his 'wife'. Nyota was a two-timing hussy and it was time she got what she had coming to her.

How dare Nyota embarrass Spock like this? Maybe nobody knew they were married but the whole ship was gossiping about the "love triangle" between Spock, Sulu, and Uhura, and Christine knew the gossip would only ramp up once the contents of that camera got out. Spock would be humiliated, cuckolded by Nyota. Christine was not about to let that happen.

She went to the recycler ready to toss the camera in and destroy it when she had a change of heart. Perhaps there was a way to use this against Nyota without hurting Spock? Nyota was the guilty party here so why should Spock suffer just because Nyota couldn't keep her hands to herself? She was always hurting Spock but he just couldn't see it and apparently neither could anyone else. He needed intervention, he needed Christine.

She suddenly had an idea. This was an abusive relationship if ever there was one and Spock was the victim. Nyota even punched him! And hadn't the captain and doctor McCoy swept that under the rug too? Well no more. If the men on this ship were too dumb to see what was happening to Spock then Christine would have to save him herself.

She went to her console and pulled up the medical records and reports regarding Spock and Uhura. She found the case file she needed and forwarded it to Starfleet Command using their whistleblower code for secrecy. She was going over Kirk and McCoys heads but if they wouldn't act then it was up to her. One way or another the truth had to come out and it would set Spock free.