Bad Case of Loving You
Negative! Nyota didn't know whether to laugh or to cry. She felt at once relieved and disappointed. It was a strange reaction for someone who wasn't even thinking about motherhood a few months ago. She didn't want to have a baby but she didn't 'not' want to have one either.
"Damn it!" she said and tossed the test hypo on her little coffee table. She began to pace and Charlene picked the hypo up. Do you mind if I look...?" she asked before reading the result.
Nyota nodded her head as tears began to accumulate in her eyes.
What the heck was wrong with her? This was good news, wasn't it? So why did it hurt?
"Well," Charlene said, "That's that."
She stood and stopped NY from pacing and hugged her tight.
"No matter what, remember I've got you."
"Why does it hurt?"
"I don't know," Charlene said. "It just does. I guess we're just wired that way as women. We want what we don't want."
"I really do hate men." Uhura moaned.
"No, you don't sweetie. You're just shaken."
"I'm so tired. I feel like I've run a race, came in last and there's nobody to cheer me at the finish line."
"I know you're tired. I think you should call out sick today."
"I'm not sick."
"Of course you are, Dr. Masters says you need bed rest."
"You're just full of medical advice aren't you?"
"No joking. I need you to be okay. So either you call out or I report you to Dr. McCoy. I still think you need to see him."
"No. I don't want to see anybody right now. You're right, I do need some rest and a little me time. I just want to be alone."
"Are you sure? I could trade shifts and stay with you a little while longer."
"No, you've already done enough. I don't want to keep you from your work and besides, I think I just need to rest and zone out for a while."
"Okay. I still think you need to talk to Dr. McCoy or the ship's counselor. I'm an engineer, not a physician."
"You mean you can't fix broken hearts?"
"Not by a long shot." She kissed Nyota's forehead. "Hmm, you feel a little warm." She said with a worried look.
"I'm just tired and run down. I'll be ok."
"I'll stop by after my shift to check on you."
"No need."
"I'll do it anyway, so humor me."
"Alright, I'll be here. If I'm asleep or in the shower just let yourself in with the code." Uhura said yawning.
"Okay," Charlene turned to leave but stopped. "You know I love you right?"
"Yes, 'MOM' I love you too." Nyota teased.
"I told you not to get sassy. I'm serious. I love you and I want to see you happy."
"You're a good friend, and I really do love you too Charlene. And I want YOU to be happy too."
"Okay, catch you later."
Once Charlene left, Uhura slipped off her nightgown and took a much-needed shower where she used up all her allotment of water as she cried her eyes out. But once the water ran dry so did her tears and her energy. She barely dried herself off before tossing the towel on the floor and slipped nude into her bed. She as asleep as soon as her head hit her pillow.
/*-/*-/
"Mr. Spock, Just the man I wanted to see." Captain Kirk said as Spock entered the bridge.
"Yes, captain?"
"Do you know where Lt. Uhura is?"
"No captain I do not. Is there a problem?"
"She did not report for her shift and we have not been able to reach her on the comm."
"Is that so?" Spock asked calmly but inside his heart lurched. Was Nyota in danger? Was she harmed or lying ill somewhere on the ship? His mind raced with possibilities.
"Do you mind going to her quarters and checking? I could send security but I thought-"
"No Captain I'll check and report in," without waiting for a response he headed for the turbolift.
When Spock arrived at Uhura's door he felt a wave of nostalgia. He'd often stood right here waiting for Nyota to let him in during their off hours when he would give her Vulcan lessons and spent hours in conversation. Those visits were always a highlight of his day and he cherished those memories, but those days were long gone.
He buzzed Uhura's door and waited for a response. After waiting several moments he buzzed her door again. He knew she was in her suite, he'd already done a scan of the ship with internal sensors and Uhura not responding set his nerves on edge. He could use his override codes to barge in but there was no need, she'd given him her access code years ago when they first began their lessons. She may have changed the code since then but he decided to try it first before using his security codes and alerting security of a problem.
To his surprise and relief, her code still allowed him entrance. Once inside, the first thing he noticed was that the lights were dimmed and set for evening mode. Then he saw the coffee table and immediately noticed the open hypo kit and coffee mug. Spock's keen eyes read that it was a pregnancy kit even in the dim lighting.
Moving deeper into her suite, he saw through the sleeping chamber curtain that Uhura was sleeping in her bed. Now he was torn. He could clearly see that she was merely sleeping, yet there were so many unanswered questions that this scene presented; the most pressing of which was the hypo kit sitting on the table in the other room. He didn't dare pry into her affairs by reading the result but his mind was burning with curiosity.
Spock stood still in that room paralyzed with indecision. Lately, he could not manage his emotions or center his thoughts where Nyota Uhura was concerned. His fine neatly ordered mind was in chaos, much like his life. And all because of this woman. How did he get here? How had his life come to this?
After a few more moments of indecision, Spock decided to leave, report to the captain and continue on with his duties. Uhura was fine, just sleeping, and he would not disturb her. He would have been blind if he had not noticed that she had been looking exhausted lately though he dared not approach her about it. Could her exhaustion be a symptom of maternity? Again, he could not interfere further.
But before he could bring himself to turn and walk away Uhura began to struggle in her sleep and moan. "Spock!" She cried out and sat up in bed.
Spock stood in her room and waited for her to notice him and scream. She was breathing heavily and he surmised she'd been having a nightmare about him.
So when she finally glanced his way he was prepared to withstand her shouts but she seemed barely surprised to see him and she lay back down panting.
"How long have you been standing there?"
"Not long, a few moments."
"You mean you don't know precisely down to the second?"
"I have been standing here precisely 8.6-"
"Never mind I was joking. So why are you here?"
"I came to check on your well being."
"Oh, now you care?"
Spock drew in a sharp breath.
"Sorry, that was uncalled for. I haven't been myself lately."
Spock had no reply to that pronouncement.
"Look, I don't want to talk to you right now, do you understand?"
"No, but I will respect your wishes."
"Of course you will," Uhura said frustrated.
"I am sorry I disturbed you."
"Yeah, okay."
He turned to leave but she called him back.
"Look Spock I don't mean to be... well... mean. I am just having a moment okay. It's a female thing. You've got your Vulcan biology and I've got my human biology."
"I understand," he said even though he did not but he desperately wanted to.
"No, you don't, you can't, you're a man."
"Well, I can't argue that observation."
"No, you can't. I just found out something that upset me and I am taking it out on you when I shouldn't. I'm sorry."
"There is no need to be sorry, you have not harmed me. The captain was worried about you and sent me to check on you and your whereabouts."
"Is that so? Why didn't he send security or a med team?"
"I didn't find it necessary to challenge his request."
"I'll bet. Well, as you can see I am alive and well."
"Yes, you are alive, but are you well?"
"Oh don't you start. I've had enough of all the armchair physicians and psychologists questioning my health. I am fine, or will be if people would just leave me alone for half a second!"
Spock didn't know what to say to that except to take her at her word. "I will take my leave then." He turned but she called out stalling him.
"No, wait." Uhura didn't want him to leave even though she still didn't know what she wanted to do about him.
"I know you have to report to the captain, but afterward can you spare a moment?"
"Of course."
Spock went to her computer console in the sitting room and contacted the bridge. He informed the captain that Uhura was indisposed and would not be at her post today, and then he informed the captain he would be in her quarters if needed.
Uhura lay back on her bed and covered her face with her arm. Now everyone on the bridge would be gossiping about this too. But she couldn't worry about that. She had bigger fish to fry.
Spock came back into her bedchamber and stood at the foot of her bed at attention.
"You look foolish standing there like that. Have a seat."
"There is no chair."
"Sit on the bed," she said with a roll of her eye.
"I prefer to stand."
"Sit!" she commanded.
Spock sat perched gingerly on the very edge of her bed.
Nyota shook her head at his silliness. Whatever.
"Okay, I know you saw that test kit on the table."
"Yes, I did."
"Well?" She asked.
"Well?" he replied.
"Have you nothing to say, nothing to ask me?" She probed.
Spock had a million things to say and ask, but he said, "I would not presume to impose on your privacy."
"My privacy? Are you serious?"
"Yes."
"So you don't want to know if you are going to be a father? Okay, you can leave then." Uhura knew she was being an asshole but so was Spock. She knew damn well he wanted to know what was on that test, but he was being too Vulcan to ask.
Spock did not move. He sat perched on the edge of her bed torn. Of course, he wanted to know what was on that test result but he didn't want to pry. He had caused her enough grief, yet she seemed to want to tell him. She had asked him to stay-
"Oh my god Spock, I can see the thoughts flying around in your head at warp speed. Can't you ever just relax? It was negative, I'm not pregnant."
Spock was stunned. All at once he felt relief and remorse. Why did he feel those things? "I'm... I don't know what to say."
"You? Speechless? Mark the record books, Commander Spock is speechless!"
Spock remained silent.
"I'm sorry Spock, I shouldn't joke, I was pretty speechless myself when I found out. I never realized how much it hurt to take a pregnancy test."
"I am sorry I am once again the cause of this pain."
"It's not all your fault, it takes two to make a baby."
"But I... you were not... you didn't have a choice in the matter."
"Is that what you believe? You did not force me or anything, Spock. I chose to help you and this was a consequence. And it's over now. We're not pregnant."
Spock felt his heart squeeze when she said 'we're'. It made him feel they were sharing something special, that they were truly a bonded couple.
"I'm still angry at you though. I don't know why, but I am. But if you don't mind, can you stay for a while? I'm exhausted and I need some rest. That's why I missed my shift. I forgot to notify the bridge. I am sorry about that Sir."
So she was speaking to her commanding officer now?
"It is of no consequence Lieutenant, the cause was sufficient. I will stay for a while."
"Good. Will you lay down beside me Spock, you're making me feel weird, you sitting there all starched and spit-shined while I'm lounging in bed. I know this is violating your 'boundaries' but I need you to just be here for me. Besides, I trust you. In spite of everything, you are one of the few people in this world that I can trust completely. I know you won't try to pull anything. In fact, you'll probably break your neck trying to keep from touching me accidentally, won't you?"
"I will do no such thing."
"Good. Take off your boots and lie down. I have a feeling I'll sleep better with you nearby since you're my other half and all that." She joked and scooted aside on the bed making room for him.
"I believe the Earth expression is 'my better half'?"
"Is that so? So am I your better half?"
"I believe you are the best part of me."
"Aww, you silver-tongued devil." She slid back down under her blanket.
"Don't let me have any more bad dreams okay?" she pleaded.
"I will endeavor to do my best."
Spock meant his words and made them into a solemn vow. He would do his best for her from now on. No matter how difficult it was, he was going to do his best for her, his other, better half.
/*-/*-/
Spock watched Uhura as she slept. He watched as her breathing slowed and deepened and became steady. But he soon noticed perspiration on her forehead. He didn't think it was unduly warm in the room, he was a little chilled himself. Normally he'd be able to detect if she were ill through their bond, however, he had been doing his best to block her out of his mind to protect her privacy. Now he doubted the wisdom of that decision and as he worried about her health. She had been tired lately, complaining of bad dreams, she was perspiring profusely, and she had never missed a day of work unless she was injured. Something was not right here. He braced himself and lowered his shields.
Spock caught his breath as the rush of emotions that bombarded him. Nyota's mind was in turmoil. How could she even stand it? This was not normal. He'd been in contact with human minds before, sick twisted minds that were in constant agony and right now Nyota's mind was on par with the worst he had encountered. This was nothing like Nyota's peaceful mind. This was more like...Plak-tow!
Spock couldn't believe it was happening. How was this happening? He pulled the blanket back from Nyota and discovered she was drenched in sweat. Nyota! He was afraid to touch her naked form but he had to. "Nyota, he shook her arm and she didn't stir. Please, Nyota, wake up!"
She was burning up now, how had he not know? They were bonded! But he had been blocking her out. He had inadvertently done to her what T'Pring had done to him. T'Pring had forced him to wait until it was almost too late; until his need had become so great that she couldn't shield her mind from it any longer. But Nyota could not barge her way into his mind and demand attention the way he had done T'Pring. Damn it! Why did he keep messing things up between him and Nyota!
He jumped up from the bed and ran to the comm unit to call for Dr. McCoy.
"Sickbay! Doctor McCoy, there is an emergency in Lt. Uhura's cabin. Please make your way here at once, and Doctor please be discrete."
"Discrete? For an emergency?" McCoy groused over the line.
"It is a matter of extreme delicacy, I'll explain when you get here but please hurry, and tell no one," Spock said in a strained voice barely able to contain his own emotions.
He started to take deep calming breaths as he paced the tiny room awaiting the doctor. How could Nyota be asleep at a time like this? She said she would sleep better if he was nearby, was that it? Was he somehow keeping the madness at bay?
Or was she already too far gone? Spock nearly collapsed at the thought. Hurry Doctor!
He didn't know what, if anything, McCoy could do. The body had to release the hormones and endorphins that were building up and Spock didn't even begin to understand what something like this could do to a female let alone a human one.
Would he ever stop hurting Nyota? No wonder Vulcans shied away from love. It was dangerous. His love was killing his wife.
When McCoy arrived he let himself into Uhura's cabin and stopped dead in his tracks. Spock looked a mess, his emotions raw on his face. "Not again," McCoy groaned inwardly.
"Spock, what happened to you? You look terrible."
"It is not me Doctor it is Nyota, she is ill."
"What? What is it?"
"It is the Fever," Spock said.
"What Fever? What are you talking about?"
"The Fever Doctor, the Pon Farr!" Spock shouted.
"Spock be serious-,"
"I do not joke Doctor. Nyota is in Plak-tow."
"Move," McCoy said stepping into Uhura's bedroom and approaching the bed.
Spock growled when McCoy touched her forehead.
"Goddamnit Spock, not you too! I'm a doctor I have to touch her."
"Hurry Doctor. I am trying... Just hurry!"
McCoy neared Uhura again and Spock managed to keep his growls to himself.
He turned his back so that he did not see another male touch his woman.
"What the hell?" He heard Bones say.
"Spock we've got to get her to sickbay she's burning up and her vitals are off the chart!"
"I know that Doctor. But you also know there is no treatment for the Plak-tow."
"Then why did you send for me, to watch her die?"
Spock made a strangled sound. "I don't know what to do." He whined and it nearly broke McCoy's heart to hear it. This wasn't like Spock to give up.
"Well, neither do I! I haven't had time to study your medical records yet let alone a new case. How the hell did she get a Vulcan disease?"
"I infected her," Spock said. Now he was angry at himself.
"Infected her with what? How? I gave her a thorough exam after your Pon Farr and she was fit as a fiddle."
"It is not viral or bacterial, it is psychic."
"What in the blazes are you talking about?" McCoy yelled.
"My Katra! That must be the cause of this. I should have recognized the symptoms. She was angry, so angry and I didn't realize. I'm supposed to know but I blocked her mind!" He raged.
"Spock, snap out of it!" McCoy said shaking his shoulders. Spock shoved McCoy away and the doctor flew across the room.
"Now look here," McCoy said as he got up. "I'm here to help you two damn it. You better control yourself."
"I... can't," Spock said. "Get out!"
"Now you wait a minute you pointy eared-"
"Get out now before I throw you through that door. I do not want to hurt you, Doctor."
"Spock, I'm not leaving Uhura here-"
"The longer you stay the more danger you are in. I can not-" Spock struggled to control his emotions. "Get out and do not let anyone else in here, no matter what," Spock warned as he went towards Uhura's bed.
"Spock, are you out of your Vulcan mind!"
Spock turned to face McCoy and the look on his face sent chills down the doctor's spine. Yup. That was all the answer to his question that he needed before he turned tail and ran.
"McCoy to the bridge. Get me the Captain."
"Mmm Captain Kirk," M'Ress said to the Captain. "Dr. McCoy is asking for you on your private channel."
"I'll take it here, M'Ress, thank you."
"Kirk, here he said once the frequency was open at his chair."
"Jim, we have a code green situation. I need you to meet me at my office stat."
"I'm on my way Bones. Kirk out."
Captain Kirk hopped from his chair like a fire had been lit under his heels and bounded onto the turbolift.
"Mr. Sulu you have the Con." He ordered before the door closed.
Chekov turned to Sulu. "Code Green? What is a code green?"
"I don't know Pav but I have an idea."
"Vhat?"
"Notice both Spock and Uhura are absent?" Sulu pointed out.
"Yes, so?"
"So, haven't you noticed anything strange going on with them lately?"
"Yes, how can I not? Nyota attacked Mr. Spock."
"She did not attack him! I was there, it was an accident." Sulu protested.
"Ok, then what?"
"Have you noticed they are ignoring one another?"
"I suppose they have been. I asked Nyota about it and she nearly bit my head off. Most unlike her."
"Well," Sulu said. "It's all too familiar. Last time it was Spock biting people's heads off."
"Sulu you don't think...?"
"Pave, all I can say is you might want to plot a course to Vulcan just in case."
/*-/*-/
Spock was so angry, at himself, at his life. He was just as the other children said he was, a misbegotten bastard. He had played with mental arts he had no business dealing with. He infected Nyota with his katra and now she had a Vulcan disease her human metabolism was not equipped to deal with.
She was going to die if he didn't do something fast. But what did he do? If she was a Vulcan he supposed he would just have sex with her. But how would that work to relieve the fever? She was a human female. Hell, he didn't understand how the fever worked in Vulcan males let alone a female!
He couldn't let her die though. He gathered her up in his arms and carried her to the washroom and stepped into her little shower. He turned the shower on full blast as cold as he could stand it. Uhura didn't even wake up. Her hair was drenched and Spock though she would be pissed if it got tangled. He thought about how fastidious she was with her appearance, much like a Vulcan would be. He remembered how much she enjoyed the sound of rain. "Wake up!" he cried. "Please wake up."
When her water allotment ran out, Spock stepped out of the shower with her still in his arms. He was soaked down to his skin, as he had not even bothered to remove his uniform. He carried her back to the bed and then began to undress. He found her towels and wrapped one around his waist. Now what?
He covered her with a sheet and adjusted the temperature of the room to the lowest setting he could stand. Then he got on her comm.
It took a few moments for his mother to come onto the view screen.
"Spock? What a surprise. Is-"
"Mama! Nyota is dying!" Spock said in Vulcan.
"What!" Amand screeched.
"She is dying Ko-mekh, please help me," he said panicking.
"Spock! Calm thyself! What is happening, why is Nyota dying?" Amanda asked in a panic herself. Spock looked a mess. He was topless and he looked wet. Was he crying?
"It is the Plak-tow! She has the Fever and she will not wake up!"
"How do you know it is Plak-tow?"
"I feel it here," he punched his chest. "It burns," he wailed.
"Ok, ok. Oh my god, how is this happening? What do we do? Where are you?"
"I'm in her quarters. I put her in the shower but she will not wake up."
"Ok well, we know there is no breaking that fever with cold packs or medicine," Amanda said.
"I know. She will die, it may already be too late," Spock said in despair.
"No. Listen to me, Spock. You are her Adun. You are going to have to help her."
"I can not-"
"You must!" she shouted. "If you let that girl die... Ooh, the beating I will give you!" Amanda yelled at the viewer. "Hold on damn it!"
The view screen went black. Had his mother abandoned him too?
/*-/*-/
Sarek was listening with half attention as the speaker from their neighbor planet proposed a new trade agreement. They were expanding their trading routes into unexplored territory and offered Vulcan new resources. It was all standard negotiations that needed little of his input.
But his interest was piqued when a page approached T'Pau with what appeared to be an urgent message. It was unheard of for someone to interrupt council proceedings unless under the gravest circumstances. Whatever it was could wait until the council adjourned. That was T'paus own rule. Unless something had happened to his Father? Sarek dropped his shields to allow mental contact with his family and he was bombarded with panic from Amanda. Something had happened to Spock!
Sarek wanted to bound out of his seat and go home, however, there was still decorum to maintain. With foreign dignitaries present he could not behave emotionally. And so he held still and exercised his calming techniques.
Luckily T'pau interrupted the speaker. She announced that there was pressing business she had to attend to and the session would be adjourned until tomorrow. There were grumbles through the chamber but no one disagreed or dared challenge T'Pau. Once the meeting was officially adjourned Sarek rushed to T'Paus side.
"Come," she said wasting no time with formalities. Sarek took her arm and walked with her to her private office. Once behind closed doors she seated herself in front of her main view screen and opened the channel. Amanda appeared on one side of a split screen and Spock on the other. And Spock looked as pale as a ghost and he was dripping wet.
"Spock-kan," T'Pau said. "What ails thee?"
"Ko'mekh-il! Nyota has the Fever, she is dying! Help us, please?" Spock begged in Vulcan.
"Kroyka!" T'Pau barked.
Spock wiped his eyes and stared into the viewer like a lost boy.
"Spock," T'Pau said, "thee alone can help thy Adun. You must mate with her."
"I cannot! She is not well. She will not wake!"
"You must wake her from the Fever with thy body," T'Pau spoke to him as if he were a child. "Nyota is your Adun, only you can save her."
"How?" Spock said again.
"Spock-kan, this is the Vulcan heart. This is the Vulcan soul. This is our way. It comes down from the time of the beginning, without change." As T'Pau spoke the ceremonial words something settled in Spock and knew his grandmother spoke the truth, but...
"But Nyota is not Vulcan."
"She is Vulcan," T'Pau pronounced.
"She will hate me Ko'mekh-il" Spock said resigned to misery.
"Hate is illogical. She will live."
/*-/*-/