Chapter 3: Connections

As Jasper and Alice brought up the T.V. and goodies for the movie night I decided to clean up from my run through the forest. The dust from the trail had caked on my skin from where I had sweat through my clothes and was now steaked along my arms and legs. Jasper led me to the opulent bathroom he and Alice shared. I was kind of glad it wasn't Alice. I loved her to death but she could be pretty extra and I needed calm right now more than anything.

The bathroom was decorated to mirror a miniature Japanese onsen, those public baths that had amazing hot water baths and little sitting showers to avoid falling. Jasper brought out a little basket filled with all kinds of sweet smelling shampoos and dessert smelling soaps. He set them on a little counter in front of the mirror behind the detachable showerhead. He gestured to a little set of cubbies and I saw my beat-up duffle bag.

Jasper spoke softly "I always did love the way Japanese public baths were designed. I never could get over being nude in public though, so Alice decided to design this for me, so I could have the best of both worlds." He paused for a moment before continuing awkwardly "You can store your laundry in here, just put them in the white hamper if you want to keep them." Jasper turned to go, but I didn't need his gift to tell that he felt flustered.

"W-wait" What was I thinking? "I- Never mind." I finished quickly. I should just leave him be, he obviously wanted to leave.

"Bella" He said gently enunciating my name. I could tell he was trying to be careful. "Do you need to tell me something?"

"I-I don't want to get too personal, but I wanted to… Well… umm... I don't mind that you shared. I always liked the Japanese stuff I saw in books. It's really cool to see it brought to the States and that you can have this sort of thing as well as the privacy.

"Oh. I- Thanks? I'm glad you like it."

"I know It may sound rude, but I have one more question… and I don't feel comfortable asking Alice." I took a deep breath to steady myself. I really wasn't used to speaking my mind, but Jasper was the safest person I could express myself to. And this was technically a small thing, but it was a great place to start asking for answers. "Why did you guys always trash my clothes without asking before? What is so different now? You suggested that I could keep my clothes if I want."

"I, personally, never thought it was right. Even when the clothes were ruined beyond repair. I guess they assumed that you wouldn't want torn up cloths and seeing as we have more than enough to give, I think they thought they were doing you a favor by trashing the old ones without asking."

"But you still haven't answered my second question. What's different now?"

"I want to give you a choice. Your life is spiraling outside of your control, your feeling of sanity is hinged on the actions of someone you care about who can do anything he pleases. You need to be able to make some decisions for yourself, if you don't you will continue to feel helpless in this situation. You are an adult now, as much as the rest of my family regard you as too young to know about this world. And let's be honest, by comparison to us, you would be considered a neophyte. But you are human, so our standards do not apply. You are an adult, it's time they start treating you like one. You need to be able to feel like you can make some decisions for yourself, even if they are small."

"Th-thank you… Wow you really do know what I need right now. Guess being able to feel someone else's emotions can come in handy huh?"

"I didn't get that from your emotions… I-I've studied psychology for many years. I know that treating an adult like a child only stunts their growth instead of preparing them for being independent people. And besides, what you have been feeling lately, I'm starting to narrow it down and doing what I could see best for the situation. I just want to help you."

"I-I appreciate what you and Alice are doing for me Jasper. I've never felt so…cared for… as an equal. Normally with your family I feel like the child. But with you guys… I feel like a fellow person, an adult instead of someone people need to walk on eggshells around."

"I'm sorry I wasn't able to show you this before. I was trying too hard to resist the bloodlust when you were around to concentrate on how minimized they made you feel. It was too much going on at once for me to be able to act differently. All I could think of was the recent slip-up I had that had caused us to move to Forks in the first place. I was still struggling so hard… All I could see was what one slip in my control could cause.

"I'm glad not everyone thought that the way they treated me was okay. I really appreciate you telling me the truth…"

"Of course, after everything you've been through because of us, the least we could do is tell you the truth. But everyone here is so accustomed to lying to protect our secret… It won't be easy to get them to be more honest, about anything really."

We both stood in silence as I thought about what his words meant. If I asked for answers or explanations, I may not always get the truth. I decided I was okay with that, the point was to stand up for what I wanted, even if it didn't always have the outcome I wanted. I was roused from my thoughts when Jasper cleared his throat.

"I-I may have more control now than before, but I have to admit, this small warm room is filled with your scent. I-it's reminding me of how thirsty I am and I don't wish to risk you by pushing my control further." He smiled to himself, as if proud he had made it this far.

"O-of course, I don't want you to be uncomfortable." I added quickly "I need to get cleaned up anyway"

Jasper stepped forward and slowly reached his hand to clasp my own. His hand had warmed from the steam in the room, though it was still cool to the touch. He raised my hand to my eye level. "You don't make me uncomfortable. You never do. I simply need to leave here so I can eat. I wouldn't ask you to eat dinner in this bathroom," he joked lightly. "Same situation here."

With that, he sped from the room and seconds later I heard the faint click of the front door shutting.

I turned and began peeling off my clothes, they had begun to stick to me again because of the steam filling the room. I placed it all in the white hamper. I would keep these clothes, there was no reason to trash clothes just because they were a little dirty.

I grabbed the small stool from the corner and the little bucket that was on top of it. Sitting in front of the shoulder level mirror I assessed the state of my hair and resigned myself to untangling it for the better part of the next hour. The mirror was actually a great help as I was able to see all the pine needles and bits of leaf that had gotten caught in my hair during my run. I chuckled and thought of how hard it must have been for Alice to not say anything. When I had finally detangled my hair, I tied it up to keep it out of the way. I scrubbed the remaining dirt from my body, using a cute little soap that looked like a slice of pound cake.

What I was really looking forward to was the bath. It was at least 5 feet at it's deepest end and 6 feet wide. I hadn't even thought of taking one, but the warm water steaming behind me was too good to pass up. It would be just the thing to get rid of the chill that had persisted since before my run through the woods.

Slipping into the water was heavenly, nothing like my plunge into the icy ocean from the cliffs in La Push. I slowly walked to the deep end made myself sink under the hot water so the warmth could fully reach my ears and top of my head, letting my belly scrape the bottom of the hewn stone tub.

Edward's voice clearly rang in my head, an edge of heartbreak clear in his tone. "I didn't expect you to want to die so much after seeing me."

My eyes flew open I was still under water and I saw him drifting in front of me. My first instinct was to take in a breath and scream. I began to choke I couldn't find up. In front of me I saw Edward smile sadistically and say "You got what you wanted."

Black was creeping at the edges of my eyes. My heart beat too fast. I needed to breathe. I tried to swim, any direction, I just needed to get out of the water. My arms wouldn't move, panic had frozen me. The most I could manage was jerky movements that didn't help me get any closer to out. My arms couldn't move anymore, I was too weak.

As the darkness claimed me I felt the water splash around me and Edward's triumphant laugh rang in my ears, my fear brought him joy.

Jasper POV

I sprinted through the trees and caught a few quick deer before I decided to head back. I wanted to be back before Bella was out of the shower. The forest had done a number on her hair and if she was anything like me, with that with the mirror to aid her, she would want to remove every leaf and pine needle. I had needed more deer than I used to in Forks, the blood of these southern prey animals was thinner than even the weakest deer in Forks. I wasn't too far from the house, near the clearing in the woods where I had found Bella earlier today.

As the house came into view I was doubled over with Fear. It was so powerful I was paralyzed for a few seconds before I realized it wasn't my own, what was worse is that I knew whose it was. I flew through the open back door and up the stairs faster than I ever had before. I ripped the bathroom door off its hinges and sped to where I felt the fear at its most concentrated. It was fading! I couldn't think anymore. I leapt into the pool of water and looked for Bella. I couldn't feel anything from her. I parted the water with quick strokes and wrapped an arm around her, using my other to pull us to the surface.

I hauled myself over the edge and immediately pulled Bella out and turned her onto her side, being careful not to move her neck. I swiped a finger around her mouth to clear out anything that could have gotten stuck, pulling her up a bit by her middle to get any stray water out. I couldn't feel her breathing so I began breathing for her, making sure to pinch her nose shut and cover her mouth with mine. After a few breaths I turned my attention to her pulse.

I thought I just hadn't been focusing, but she- she didn't have one. "Fuck!" I scrambled over her on my knees and positioned my hands over her chest keeping my elbows straight. I began the compressions making sure I was giving them strong enough to help her but not to break her chest plate. As I made her heart beat I began begging her "Bella! Stay with me Bella!" She began to heave as her body cleared the water. I swiftly turned her to her side and when she was done I cleared her mouth again. And then I heard her pulse begin again accompanied by a prickle of Curiosity? Concern?

"Bella? Bella come back to me" I began to breath for her again with renewed vigor, hope swelling inside me. After a few breaths, I heard the sweetest sound as I breathed for her.

"Mmmmfff?"

I pulled away from her and my eyes filled with venom as I saw her coughing and trying to breathe on her own again. I couldn't get over the relief I felt that she was alive. I began to sob as I watched her, wrapping my arms around my knees to try and hold myself together. The terror of what had just happened was finally hitting me and the relief that she was alive were overwhelming. I felt a sharp burning pain as my tears spilled over and ran down my cheeks. I scrubbed the venom away with my sleeve when I heard Bella address me.

"Jasper?" Bella's voice was hoarse from heaving up the water. "Are you-?"

I cut her off by sitting up and wrapping my arms around her. I needed to feel that she was really alive and breathing. None of this felt real. I had nearly lost my only living human friend, and it had been entirely out of my control. "I was so scared I would lose you! I thought that I would kill you by trying to save you! Are you alright?"

"Slow down Jasper," her body shook with a little laugh. The first time I had heard her laugh in months. "I'm alright, thanks to you. You saved me."

I held her at arm's length to assess if she was unhurt and I saw a purple bruise blossoming across the center of her chest. I extended my left hand it, not daring to breathe as I laid my hand over it, matching it perfectly. "No" I could only breathe the words.

Bella eyed my hand and understanding dawned on her face. "Jasper, you know I bruise easily. And besides, a little bruise is a small price to pay for still breathing. Don't beat yourself up over it, I'm sure it happens all the time." Her small hand rested on top of mine as she clasped it and removed it from her chest.

I let my hand drop to my knees addressing my them as I spoke "I know you're right, but I still can't help but feel bad about it." I worked up the courage to look into her eyes. "I would never mean to hurt you. I value our friendship too much to lose you to being careless or cruel."

"I'm so glad I can trust you Jasper, even with my life." I watched a shiver pass over her as a breeze blew through the doorway. She looked toward the doorway and gave another giggle "Do I even want to know what happened over there?"

"I didn't have time to be gentle with the door." I helped her to her feet. "How about you get dressed in the room while I clean up in here?"

I felt relief flood through her. I decided not to press the subject and turned to fill a bucket to sweep all the mess down the drain in the floor and then I set myself to scrubbing and disinfecting the room. I spoke clearly to Carlisle as I did this and asked him to give Bella a check-up. That bruise still concerned me and I couldn't be sure that she hadn't hit her head. I grabbed a change of pajamas from one of the hampers and peeled off the clothes that were sticking to me and the shoes that had become filled with water, putting them in the white hamper with the clothes Bella wanted to keep. When I was done I headed back towards my room to see Bella propped up against some pillows in a large grey shirt and old black sweatpants, sipping some cold water Alice must have gotten her.

Alice came up to me and said quieter than bella could here, "I'm so sorry, I didn't see. And I didn't want to snoop while she was washing up. Carlisle give her a check-up and said she was okay, just a bit dehydrated. Nothing was broken and her head is fine. I didn't hear her struggling, what happened?"

I answered her in an equally quiet tone "I didn't want to ask, it's too soon. I'd ask you to do the same Alice, she'll tell us when she's ready." I held Alice close as I kissed the top of her head. At a normal volume I said "What matters right now is that she's safe."

Bella called over to us "Do you guys still want to watch that movie? I could really use a distraction after what happened. I think I got one we might all like," as she held up a DVD of 'Mrs. Doubtfire.'

As we piled onto our bed Alice told me quietly, "She'll be asleep halfway through."

Authors note:

Sorry for the delay in posting everyone, I've been working a lot these past few weeks, and I have nothing prewritten. I hope you are enjoying the story so far, I never written a story chronologically. I wanted to start things off slow and let everyone get to know each other again, as we don't really get to know Jasper or Alice in the books aside from their pasts.

As you may have guessed, I'm also giving Bella some PTSD because she went through so many horrible things and in the books, she seems… Just fine? That's not how the world works though.

A great question came up in the comments from Moondancer1818that I'm sure many of you are asking "is this going to be a Jasper and Bella pairing?" My answer: Kinda ;) I changed the description of the story to reflect a "non-traditional pairing." But don't worry, Edward does not get back with Bella. She is more than done with him, as I hope you can see from this chapter.

Anywais… I hope you guys will feel free to leave any of your comments in the reviews and follow if you like it and want more. Don't be shy! I read every comment, I just don't know how to message responses.