A/N: So hi again. I got a couple of reviews on Chapter 1 asking me how often I'm planning to upload. I just edited the first chapter, and added in an A/N explaining that. I also edited some other things-like the title of the chapter. But anyway. I have the first 3 chapters of this book completed but the rest are not even started. I might not update but I will not give up on this fic. With tests, and my EOG's coming up there's a lot more homework in school and other things in my life I have to do so I might pause this fanfiction without a warning. But keep coming back if that happens, because I won't stop this fic. Anyway, enough of my blabbing. Here's chapter 2!
The characters and direct quotes from the book all belong to Rick Riordan.
"I Accidentally Vaporize My Pre-Algebra Teacher"
Annabeth shook her head, Seaweed Brain.
"Look, I didn't want to be a half-blood."
All of the demigods nodded vigorously and murmured in agreement.
"If you're reading this because you think you might be one, my advice is: close this book right now, believe whatever lie your mom or dad told you about your birth, and try to live a normal life. Being a half-blood is dangerous. It's scary. Most of the time, it gets you killed in painful, nasty ways."
"That's the blunt way to put it," Thalia muttered.
"If you're a normal kid, reading this because you think it's fiction, great. Read on. [...] You might be one of us. And once you know that, it's only a matter of time before they sense it too, and they'll come for you. Don't say I didn't warn you."
Annabeth took a breath, "Was a warning necessary? Because at this point you might've made it worse." Percy shrugged.
"My name is Percy Jackson."
"I thought your name was Annabeth," Travis said, sarcasm dripping from his voice. Annabeth glared at him.
"I'm twelve years old. Until a few months ago, I was a boarding student at Yancy Academy, a private school for troubled kids in upstate New York. Am I a troubled kid?"
Multiple yeses echoed off the walls. Percy glared at the others, "It was a rhetorical question."
"Yeah. You could say that."
Percy now glared at the book in Annabeth's hands as the rest of the room erupted in laughter.
"I could start at any point in my short, miserable life to prove it,"
Poseidon raised an eyebrow, short, miserable life?
"but things really started going bad last May, when our sixth-grade class took a field trip to Manhattan – twenty-eight mental-case kids and two teachers on a yellow school bus, heading to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to look at ancient Greek and Roman stuff."
"Hold up. Greek and Roman?" Jason asked
Percy's eyes widened in realization, "Looks like Chiron predicted the future. To some extent."
"Why Chiron?" Thalia asked. Percy and Grover glanced knowingly at each other.
"I know – it sounds like torture. Most Yancy field trips were. But Mr. Brunner, our Latin teacher, was leading this trip, so I had hopes. Mr. Brunner was this middle-aged guy in a motorized wheelchair. He had thinning hair and a scruffy beard and a frayed tweed jacket, which always smelled like coffee. You wouldn't think he'd be cool, but he told stories and jokes and let us play games in class. He also had this awesome collection of Roman armor and weapons,"
"It's Chiron, isn't it?" Thalia asked, smiling. Percy and Grover both nodded.
"so he was the only teacher whose class didn't put me to sleep."
"You sleep in class?!" Athena screeched.
Annabeth glared at the back of her mother's head. Percy grimaced, "I have ADHD and dyslexia. Give me a break."
"I hoped the trip would be okay. At least, I hoped that for once I wouldn't get in trouble."
"Boy, were you wrong," Grover muttered.
"Boy, was I wrong."
Everyone laughed at Grover who looked utterly annoyed.
"See, bad things happen to me on field trips. [...] I wasn't aiming for the school bus, but of course, I got expelled anyway."
Everyone laughed at that. Even the gods-even Ares and Athena-were laughing at Percy's embarrassed expression.
"What- what were you aiming at?" Nico asked, still laughing.
"I wasn't aiming at anything. I was just seeing if it would work." Percy defended.
Annabeth shook her head, still laughing, "Only you would do something like that, Seaweed Brain." Percy grinned at her. Athena raised an eyebrow.
"And before that, at my fourth-grade school, when we took a behind-the-scenes tour of the Marine World shark pool, [...] Well, you get the idea."
"We need more stories!" Conner exclaimed.
Percy glared at him briefly, "I'm not saying anything."
"This trip, I was determined to be good."
"I'm gonna take a wild guess and assume that didn't work out," Leo said. Percy rolled his eyes in response.
"All the way into the city, I put up with Nancy Bobofit, the freckly red-headed kleptomaniac girl, hitting my best friend, Grover, in the back of the head with chunks of peanut butter-and-ketchup sandwich."
Annabeth paused and glared at the book in her hands, How dare she?!
"Grover was an easy target. He was scrawny. […]On top of all that, he was crippled."
Percy grimaced. This was not gonna go well. "Thanks, Perce!" Grover said, sarcastically.
"Sorry, G-man," Percy apologized.
"He had a note excusing him from PE for the rest of his life [...] You should've seen him run when it was enchilada day in the cafeteria."
"Great job blowing your cover satyr," Dionysus rolled his eyes.
"You're paying attention?" Hermes asked.
Dionysus turned the page of his magazine and took a sip of his coke, "Of course not."
"Anyway, Nancy Bobofit was throwing wads of sandwich that stuck in his curly brown hair, [...] anything bad, embarrassing, or even mildly entertaining happened on this trip."
"Well now that just sounds boring," Travis stated.
"'I'm going to kill her,' I mumbled. Grover tried to calm me down. 'It's okay. I like peanut butter.' [...] 'You know who'll get blamed if anything happens.'"
Thalia scowled, "Ok, that's just wrong."
"Looking back on it, I wish I'd decked Nancy Bobofit right then and there. In-school suspension would've been nothing compared to the mess I was about to get myself into."
"Can't argue with that," Grover agreed
"Mr. Brunner led the museum tour. [...] I was trying to listen to what he had to say because it was kind of interesting, but everybody around me was talking, and every time I told them to shut up, the other teacher chaperone, Mrs. Dodds, would give me the evil eye."
Annabeth looked up from the book, "You were actually interested in the lesson? Surprising." Percy grinned.
"Mrs. Dodds was this little maths teacher from Georgia who always wore a black leather jacket, even though she was fifty years old. [...] From her first day, Mrs. Dodds loved Nancy Bobofit and figured I was devil spawn."
Thalia chuckled, "No, that's Nico." The son of Hades glared at her.
"She would point her crooked finger at me and say, 'Now, honey,' real sweet, and I knew I was going to get after-school detention for a month. One time, after she'd made me erase answers out of old maths workbooks until midnight, I told Grover I didn't think Mrs. Dodds was human. He looked at me real serious and said, 'You're absolutely right.'"
"Great job, Grover," Thalia deadpanned.
"Hey, Percy fell for it," Grover defended. Percy rolled his eyes.
"Mr. Brunner kept talking about Greek funeral art. Finally, Nancy Bobofit snickered something about the naked guy on the stele, and I turned around and said, 'Will you shut up?' It came out louder than I meant it to. The whole group laughed. Mr. Brunner stopped his story."
Leo laughed, He's more like me than I thought.
"'Mr. Jackson,' he said, 'did you have a comment?' My face was totally red.
I said, 'No, sir.' Mr. Brunner pointed to one of the pictures on the stele. 'Perhaps you'll tell us what this picture represents?'"
Clarisse laughed, "10 drachmas Percy doesn't know."
Annabeth smirked and held the book in one hand, saving her spot with her finger "I haven't read on, so 20 drachmas he does," She said, pulling out a pouch of drachmas from her jean-jacket pocket.
Clarisse smirked, "You haven't read on?"
Annabeth shook her head, "Swear on the Styx." Clarisse nodded. Annabeth re-opened the book. Percy smirked.
"I looked at the carving, and felt a flush of relief because I actually recognized it."
Annabeth smirked and put the book in the earlier position, her other hand held out, "Pay up, La Rue."
Clarisse glared, but pulled out 20 drachmas and put them in Annabeth's awaiting hand.
Annabeth put the coins in her pouch and glanced at Percy, "I'm actually surprised you knew it."
Percy sent her a half-hearted glare, "Just read the book."
"'That's Kronos eating his kids, right?'
'Yes,' Mr. Brunner said, obviously not satisfied. 'And he did this because…'
'Well…' I racked my brain to remember. 'Kronos was the king god, and –'"
"God?!" Zeus bellowed.
"'God?' Mr. Brunner asked. 'Titan,' I corrected myself"
Zeus nodded, satisfied.
"'And… he didn't trust his kids, who were the gods. So, um, Kronos ate them, right? But his wife hid baby Zeus, and gave Kronos a rock to eat instead. And later, when Zeus grew up, he tricked his dad, Kronos, into barfing up his brothers and sisters –' [...] '– and so there was this big fight between the gods and the Titans,' I continued, 'and the gods won.'"
Artemis raised her eyebrows, "You just summarized a year's long war, in less than 5 sentences."
"I'm impressed," Surprisingly, that came from Athena.
Annabeth leaned back in her seat, "As you should be." Percy smiled at her.
"Some snickers from the group. Behind me, Nancy Bobofit mumbled to a friend, 'Like we're going to use this in real life. Like it's going to say on our job applications, Please explain why Kronos ate his kids.'"
"Not exactly," Apollo mumbled.
"'And why, Mr. Jackson,' Brunner said, 'to paraphrase Miss Bobofit's excellent question, does this matter in real life?'"
Percy glanced around the room, many reasons. Many, many reasons.
"'Busted,' Grover muttered. 'Shut up,' Nancy hissed, her face even brighter red than her hair. [...] shrugged. 'I don't know, sir.' 'I see.' Mr. Brunner looked disappointed. 'Well, half credit, Mr. Jackson. Zeus did indeed feed Kronos [...] sliced him to pieces with his own scythe, and scattered his remains in Tartarus, the darkest part of the Underworld."
Annabeth faltered at the word Tartarus, Percy grimaced, and Nico shuddered, causing Will to pull his boyfriend closer, Thalia to squeeze her cousin's arm comfortingly and Clarisse to send the daughter of Athena a kind smile.
"'On that happy note, it's time for lunch. Mrs. Dodds, would you lead us back outside?'"
"Happy note?" Poseidon asked.
"The defeat of Kronos is a happy note," Demeter replied.
"The class drifted off, the girls holding their stomachs, the guys pushing each other around and acting like doofuses."
"Boys are doofuses," Artemis said.
Multiple of the boys around the room glared at her, while Percy decided to not voice his agreeing thoughts.
"Grover and I were about to follow when Mr. Brunner said, 'Mr. Jackson.' I knew that was coming. I told Grover to keep going. Then I turned towards Mr. Brunner. 'Sir?' Mr. Brunner had this look that wouldn't let you go – intense brown eyes that could've been a thousand years old and had seen everything"
Thalia smiled, "They are thousands of years old-"
"-and they have seen everything." Annabeth finished, also smiling.
"'You must learn the answer to my question,' Mr. Brunner told me. [...] I wanted to get angry, this guy pushed me so hard."
"He's only helping," Athena scowled.
Percy restrained from rolling his eyes at the goddess, "I know that now." This. Is going to be a long few weeks. Months. I have no idea.
"I mean, sure, it was kind of cool on tournament days, when he dressed up in a suit of Roman armor and shouted: 'What ho!' and challenged us, sword-point against chalk, to run to the board and name every Greek and Roman person who had ever lived, and their mother, and what god they worshipped."
"Sounds pretty fun," Leo said, wistfully. Many of the demigods nodded in agreement.
"But Mr. Brunner expected me to be as good as everybody else, despite the fact I have dyslexia and attention deficit disorder and I had never made above a C- in my life. [...] while Mr. Brunner took one long sad look at the stele like he'd been at this girl's funeral."
"He probably had," Annabeth said.
"Probably," Percy agreed.
"He told me to go outside and eat my lunch. The class gathered on the front steps of the museum, where we could watch the foot traffic along Fifth Avenue. [...] I wouldn't have been surprised if this was a hurricane blowing in."
All heads turned to Poseidon and Zeus. Hestia spoke, "What were you fighting about this time?"
"How are we supposed to know?"
"Nobody else seemed to notice."
"That should be a red flag," Hazel said.
"Some of the guys were pelting pigeons with Lunchables crackers."
"They're acting like immature kids," Leo said, tinkering with some scrap metal. Everyone stared at him. He looked up, "What?"
"Nancy Bobofit was trying to pickpocket something from a lady's bag, and, of course, Mrs. Dodds wasn't seeing a thing."
"One of yours?" Hera asked, looking at Hermes.
Hermes looked up, "If she was one of mine, she would've already successfully pickpocketed that lady, and Percy here wouldn't have realized."
"Well," Conner started, "Percy's more observant than you'd think."
Travis nodded, "Stealing from him is close to impossible." Percy grinned.
"Grover and I sat on the edge of the fountain, away from the others. We thought that maybe if we did that, everybody wouldn't know we were from that school – the school for loser freaks who couldn't make it elsewhere."
Percy bit his lip, shit. He fixed his gaze on the wall across from him to avoid meeting anybody's eyes.
He saw Thalia scowl from the corner of his eye, "You thought you were a loser freak?"
Percy reluctantly met her eyes, "Thought."
"'Detention?' Grover asked. 'Nah,' I said. 'Not from Brunner. I just wish he'd lay off me sometimes. I mean – I'm not a genius.' Grover didn't say anything for a while. Then, when I thought he was going to give me some deep philosophical comment to make me feel better, he said, 'Can I have your apple?'"
Everyone laughed and Grover's cheeks were tinted pink.
"I didn't have much of an appetite, so I let him take it"
"Percy not having an appetite?" Jason asked. "Surprising."
"Oh, shut up," Percy retorted, resulting in laughter from many around the room.
"I watched the stream of cabs going down Fifth Avenue, and thought about my mom's apartment, only a little ways uptown from where we sat. [...] She'd send me right back to Yancy, remind me that I had to try harder, even if this was my sixth school in six years and I was probably going to be kicked out again. I wouldn't be able to stand that sad look she'd give me."
"Mama's boy," Thalia teased. Percy rolled his eyes at her.
Athena ignored that, "Six schools, in six years? You were kicked out of six schools in six years!? How?!"
"I have ADHD and dyslexia," Percy answered. This is already getting repetitive.
"Mr. Brunner parked his wheelchair at the base of the handicapped ramp.[...] I was about to unwrap my sandwich when Nancy Bobofit appeared in front of me with her ugly friends [...] and dumped her half-eaten lunch in Grover's lap."
Artemis spoke, "No, that's just wrong."
"'Oops.' She grinned at me with her crooked teeth. Her freckles were orange as if somebody had spray-painted her face with liquid Cheetos."
Leo made a disgusted face, "You've ruined Cheetos for me, man."
"I tried to stay cool. […] don't remember touching her, but the next thing I knew, Nancy was sitting on her butt in the fountain, screaming, 'Percy pushed me!'"
Thalia raised an eyebrow, but Annabeth continued reading before she could speak.
"Mrs. Dodds materialized next to us. Some of the kids were whispering: 'Did you see –' '– the water –' '– like it grabbed her –'"
"And you still couldn't figure out who his godly parent was?" Thalia asked, the question directed towards Grover.
"We didn't think it would be Poseidon. You know, because of the oath." Grover replied.
Thalia looked at him, annoyed, "I might've been a tree at the time, but Zeus still had me after the oath. It wouldn't be any less likely for either Hades or Poseidon to have a child and break the oath as well." She looked at Hades and quickly added, "Not saying you did. Just making a point."
Grover nodded, "Fair."
"[...] Mrs. Dodds turned on me. There was a triumphant fire in her eyes as if I'd done something she'd been waiting for all semester. 'Now, honey –' 'I know,' I grumbled. 'A month erasing textbooks.'"
Travis howled in laughter, "Never, ever guess your punishment."
Conner nodded in agreement, "They'll always make it worse."
"That wasn't the right thing to say. 'Come with me,' Mrs. Dodds said. 'Wait!' Grover yelped. 'It was me. I pushed her.' I stared at him, stunned. I couldn't believe he was trying to cover for me. Mrs. Dodds scared Grover to death."
Percy put an arm around Grover.
"She glared at him so hard his whiskery chin trembled. [...] Nancy Bobofit smirked. I gave her my deluxe I'll-kill-you-later stare."
Many of the demigods shuddered. Athena raised an eyebrow, "Don't act like babies." she chided. "It couldn't be that bad."
"Oh, it's bad," Nico said. "That's coming from a son of Hades."
The goddess of wisdom rolled her eyes, "Please." She turned her attention to Percy. "I don't see you glaring at anybody, and causing them to shudder in fear."
Percy smirked, then dropped his smile, and his expression changed into a glare, which he directed mainly at Athena. Her teasing expression fell to an uncertain one and she sat up straighter. The son of Poseidon's glare fell and was replaced by his earlier smirk. Annabeth smirked and from the angle she had sat in, only Percy could see it.
"I have moments like that a lot; when my brain falls asleep or something, [...] Halfway up the steps, I glanced back at Grover. He was looking pale, cutting his eyes between me and Mr. Brunner, like he wanted Mr. Brunner to notice what was going on, but Mr. Brunner was absorbed in his novel."
Carless much? Poseidon thought, but decided not to voice his comment.
"I looked back up. Mrs. Dodds had disappeared again. She was now inside the building, at the end of the entrance hall. Okay, I thought. She's going to make me buy a new shirt for Nancy at the gift shop."
"That didn't happen, did it?" Rachel asked. Percy shook his head, seeming bored.
"But apparently that wasn't the plan. I followed her deeper into the museum. [...] It's weird being alone with a teacher, especially Mrs. Dodds. Something about the way she looked at the frieze as if she wanted to pulverize it…"
"Your descriptions are honestly creepy themselves," Hazel spoke.
"'You've been giving us problems,' [...] beyond mad. It was evil. She's a teacher, I thought nervously. It's not like she's going to hurt me."
Grover chuckled with no humor, "Little did you know."
"I said, 'I'll – I'll try harder,' [...] I didn't know what she was talking about. All I could think of was that the teachers must've found the illegal stash of candy I'd been selling out of my dorm room."
Hermes laughed, "He's like a drug dealer, but with candy."
"Seriously Percy. Why the candy?" Annabeth asked.
Percy laughed lightly. He did have a reason for that. "Just read."
"Or maybe they'd realized I got my essay on Tom Sawyer from the Internet without ever reading the book and now they were going to take away my grade."
Athena glared daggers at Percy. Annabeth rolled her eyes.
"Or worse, they were going to make me read the book."
Now both Athena and Annabeth glared daggers at Percy. Percy smiled sheepishly, "ADHD and dyslexia."
Annabeth scowled, "I'll make you read the book." Percy glared at her.
"'Well?' she demanded. 'Ma'am, I don't…' 'Your time is up,' she hissed. Then the weirdest thing happened. [...] She was a shriveled hag with bat wings and claws and a mouth full of yellow fangs, and she was about to slice me to ribbons."
Nico's eyes widened and he turned his head to look at his father. Hades seemed to realize who it was as well.
"Then things got even stranger. Mr. Brunner, [...] wheeled his chair into the doorway of the gallery, holding a pen in his hand. [...] It was a sword – Mr. Brunner's bronze sword, [...] flew straight at me. Absolute terror ran through my body [...] as if those two glowing red eyes were still watching me."
"You- you didn't even know you were a demigod. And you killed a monster with no training on the first try….." Annabeth was speechless. Her stupid Seaweed Brain of a boyfriend, killed a Fury with no training, on the first try, and he lived- It wasn't the daughter of Athena's proudest moment. Her only comfort was that most of the others in the throne room were also seemingly speechless. Even Athena. Percy was grinning. The gray-eyed demigod's shocked gaze was now locked on her boyfriend rather than the book in her hands. She gained her senses and continued reading.
"I was alone. There was a ballpoint pen in my hand. [...] When she saw me, she said, 'I hope Mrs. Kerr whipped your butt.'"
"Who?" Frank asked.
"I said, 'Who?' 'Our teacher. Duh!' I blinked. [...] and he wouldn't look at me, so I thought he was messing with me."
"Second time, satyr. Great job, really." Dionysus rolled his eyes.
"I thought you weren't listening," Hermes said.
Dionysus took a sip of his coke, "I'm not."
"'Not funny, man,' I told him. 'This is serious.' [...] 'Percy, there is no Mrs. Dodds on this trip. As far as I know, there has never been a Mrs. Dodds at Yancy Academy. Are you feeling alright?'"
"That's the end of the chapter," Annabeth breathed out.
"Wow. That was… action-packed," Thalia noted, "To say the least."
"And it was only the first chapter," Nico marveled.
"Well. Who wants to read the next chapter?" Annabeth asked.
"I'll read it," Thalia said, already reaching out to take the book. Annabeth nodded and passed it to her.