Spock and Uhura underwent further tests in sickbay along with several other crew members who had fallen especially hard for the 'lovebug' as it had been dubbed. But again nothing unusual or out of the ordinary was uncovered so McCoy released them back to their quarters.
"Aduna, we must discuss your behavior today," Spock addressed Uhura once they were back in his cabin. It had been a long day for him. Spock had spent additional time in the science labs trying to pinpoint the cause of today's mass hysteria.
Nyota was dressed in her normal civilian clothing, a brightly colored kaftan. She had been confined to quarters for the day along with the rest of the nonessential crew and she was still feeling antsy.
"I know," she said woefully, unable to meet Spock's eyes. "I went too far didn't I?"
Spock nodded his head in agreement. "As your husband, it is my duty to... discipline you."
Uhura's head snapped up, "Excuse me?!"
"Nyota, as a Vulcan wife you must sometimes follow your husband's lead."
"Uh-huh? Like walking three steps behind you?" She crossed her arms over her chest defensively.
"I know it is not the human way, however, as you know Vulcan males can be rather volatile. Our wives are very important to us therefore we have such strict rules to protect you."
"I guess I know that. But I don't understand what the big fuss is. We had fun. You enjoyed it didn't you?"
"I did indeed appreciate your efforts, however, your behavior could have put others in danger. The ship was in red alert and the captain needed me but I was-"
"Tied up?" she cut in.
"-otherwise engaged." He finished.
"Was the captain very upset with you?" feeling a bit contrite for causing him trouble.
"I imagine so, but he didn't question me about it... yet."
"I'm sorry Spock. I just don't know what came over me." She broke into a mischievous grin, well at the end there you came all over me but-"
"Aduna! This is serious and you are being incorrigible," Spock said shaking his head though he couldn't bring himself to be cross with her.
"I know, but I think you like that about me?" she asked.
"I do," he conceded taking her into his arms. "Do not worry about the captain. But we must discuss your behavior. I want you to feel free to enjoy our marriage bond, however, there is a time and a place for such activities."
"Oh really, like where and when?"
"There is no set time or place, just not when either of us is on duty or in public. What we do is private. I do not want to share you with anyone. I cannot. Do you understand?"
"No, but you can teach me how to be a good Vulcan wife. I won't promise to be perfect at it but I'll try."
"That is all I can ask. And likewise, you must teach me how to be a good husband."
"A good Vulcan husband or a good Human one?"
"Both, for I am neither one nor the other."
"So, did you at least enjoy your gift?"
"You already know that I did."
"Do you want a command performance?" she gave him a cheeky grin.
Spock shook his head, "Aduna, you are insatiable. However, I still owe you a proper punishment."
"Oh," she said with disappointment.
He extended his two fingers to her. "You will attend me, wife," he commanded and Uhura immediately complied by joining their fingers and following Spock into his bedroom.
"Do not look so sad, I believe you will enjoy your punishment." He sat down on the side of the bunk.
"Really?" she perked up again. "Are you going to spank me?"
"No! Never," Spock guided her to sit beside him. "Nyota I will never lay a hand to you in violence, not even in play. I cannot," Spock told her vehemently.
"Okay, I'm sorry I mentioned it. Have I offended you?"
"No, I understand humans enjoy such play but even if it were not against the teachings of Surak, I could never rais a hand against you in violence. You are to be cherished," he said touching her cheek gently.
"Aw, Spock," Nyota threw her arms around him.
"So what is my punishment?" She mumbled into his chest.
"We will recite the teachings of Surak."
"What?! I thought you said I would enjoy it?" she said pulling away from him.
"And you shall. There is much for you to learn about the art of self-control. Once you can control your mind you can train it. You said you wanted to learn telepathy? It begins with the disciplines passed down by Surak."
"Adun, pardon my French, but fuck Surak." Nyota stubbornly crossed her arms over her chest.
Spock looked scandalized at the very notion. "Aduna, that was not French. I notice you have developed a distasteful habit of using inappropriately colorful metaphors. I think you should put your mouth to much better service." Spock informed her.
"Oh? Like what?" she asked slyly looking at him from the side.
Spock slowly peeled the kaftan from her shoulders to reveal smooth brown skin.
Nyota sighed and unfolded her arms to help the progress of lowering the gown from her body, "Well now you're speaking my language."
Several hours later the Enterprise seemed calm but Captain Kirk still had everyone confined to quarters. Until they could figure out what had happened he couldn't trust his people to run free on the ship with the threat still unknown. There was already going to be fallout from what happened today as people had to live down the unusual things they had done. Unlike the polywater intoxication or the happy spores of Omicron Ceti III where people were mostly able to forget what they had done while intoxicated, this illness left memories of their inhibitions vividly intact.
In the meantime, Kirk was having a much-needed drink with Bones as they contemplated the problem and brainstormed a solution.
"What I can't understand is how you managed to be immune to it Jim?" McCoy said as he sipped his most cherished vintage of brandy. "Why didn't it affect you like the rest of us? I could barely concentrate after I left your quarters."
"Bones honestly... the truth is... I'm always er...stimuilated that way. So it was just another day for me," Jim confessed.
"What!" McCoy almost spat out his precious Saurian brandy before he caught himself. Instead, he inhaled it and started to cough.
Jim slapped him on the back. "I said I'm always that way. I think about sex probably ten times a minute. How can a guy help it with all the beautiful women prancing around this ship? But I learned to control myself. The captain isn't allowed such luxuries."
McCoy got a hold of himself and replied, "What luxury? Everybody needs somebody sometimes Jim, even you. You can't be the only one on the ship not getting laid, hell even Spock is getting it."
"How do you know Bones?"
"How do I know what?"
"How do you know that Spock is "getting it"?" Jim asked.
"Well, let's see," McCoy said scratching his chin. "Spock and Uhura were locked in quarantine in Uhura's cabin for three days in Pon Farr induced fever. They've practically been sleeping in the same quarters every night ever since our trip to Starbase 6, they've been seen all over the ship together 'making eyes'. I'd say he's 'getting it'." McCoy said. "Besides he told me himself that he and Uhura were also affected by the 'Lovebug' thing today."
"He was?" Jim was shocked.
"You sound disappointed Jim."
"Well, I just thought if anybody on this ship could resist such a thing it would be Spock."
"Jim, do you think you could resist it if you were married to someone like Uhura?" McCoy asked.
"Well..." Jim was momentarily lost in unbecoming thoughts.
"I'll answer for you and say no. Spock's a person Jim, not a robot though I like to tease him that he is one. He has the same urges and impulses as any man."
"Does he really, Bones?" Jim wondered.
"Sure, why not?"
"He's a Vulcan," Jim stated the obvious.
"So?"
"So, I thought they could only... you know... mate during the pon farr?"
"Jim, I know next to nothing about pon far but I don't think any species as complex as humanoids could perpetuate itself with such a slow mating cycle of once every seven years. It's just not practical or logical. But who knows? I'm just speculating here."
"I guess," Jim seemed deep in thought. "You know, it dawns on me that we don't know much about Spock outside of work."
"Oh, it just dawns on you?" Bones asked sarcastically.
"No, I've been thinking about it for a while now," Jim said. He went to the intercom, "Mr. Spock report to Dr. McCoy's quarters on the double."
"Aye Captain," Spock replied after a moment.
"Jim, what are you up to now?"
"Nothing. I just want to have a talk with our friend, off duty."
"Ah-ha, meddling." McCoy nodded his head in understanding.
"No. I'm curious about Spock and so are you so don't deny it."
"I don't deny it. I've been trying to suss out details about that pointy-eared bugger for years with no success. Spock is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma."
"Yeah well, I don't like mysteries. So just follow my lead, I know how to handle Spock."
"You do? That's news to me." McCoy laughed and his door chime sounded a few moments later.
"Enter!"
Spock entered the cabin looking his normal cool calm collected self.
"You wanted to see me Captain?" he said stiffly standing at attention.
"At ease Mr. Spock. This is a friendly visit." Jim said.
"Indeed? I thought you might want to discuss my behavior earlier?" Spock said as he looked around McCoy's cabin as if looking for a trap.
"No. We will attend to that later. Right now we're off duty and Bones and I were just having drinks and some friendly chatter. Please join us."
Spock looked between the captain and the doctor and wondered if they were still suffering some ill effects from earlier.
"C'mon Spock, take that stick out of your rear and join us." Bones passed him a glass. "I know it has no effect on you but humor us. We hardly see you anymore."
"You see me every day, gentlemen."
"We mean we hardly see you casually, off duty. I can't remember the last time you and I played chess," Kirk said.
"I apologize Captain. I have been otherwise engaged lately." Spock said.
"I understand. You're a newly married man with other priorities." Kirk said a bit sadly.
McCoy picked up on the tension in the air and decided to try a different tact. "Spock, now that you are a fully matured Vulcan and officially married we can have an open and frank discussion."
"What is there to discuss?" Spock asked.
"Like, how is married life?" McCoy asked with a grin.
"It is fine. I have been married for some time now and I have no complaints."
"I know, but you and Uhura are really official now. The two of you have been dancing around each other for ages and you say 'fine'?" McCoy wanted details damn it!
"It is quite agreeable," Spock said to clarify.
"No, Spock what I mean is-"
"What the good doctor wants to ask is, as a Vulcan, do you have any uh... any issue with pleasing your new bride?" Jim asked fully invested in the conversation now.
McCoy grinned "Yeah, Uhura's quite a woman, a whole lot of woman. I bet she keeps you on your toes," McCoy teased him which irked Spock but he remained stoic.
"Gentleman, I can assure you my wife is very well pleased. She is a very fortunate Earth woman."
"But... I mean... Spock you and Uhura, you uh..." Kirk stammered at a loss at how to proceed without causing offense.
"We what captain?"
"Well, I mean with you're being Vulcan... And with Uhura being very Human... um... I mean, I understand that during pon farr you had to...to... that is to say..."
"What he means Spock" Bones cut in, "is that as a logical Vulcan how can you square away making love to your lovely human wife every night? The very act would seem to be illogical."
"Ah, I see gentlemen." Spock nodded his head in understanding. "Well naturally we Vulcans are highly logical people, and you are correct that the so-called 'act' outside of Pon Farr would 'seem' illogical to a Human. However, Vulcans are also very practical people. We understand and appreciate the natural world and the necessity of respecting our biological functions. When our bodies require food, logically we eat. When the body is tired we rest. If one becomes aroused it is only natural and logical to alleviate that state if at all logically possible."
"What?" McCoy said dumbfounded. "That was a long way of saying very little."
"You see Bones what he means is," Jim said picking up where Spock left off, "when he or his good wife requires sex he does his logical duty. Isn't that right Spock?" Jim slapped Spock on the back as if he had just solved everything.
"Is that what you meant Spock?" Mccoy looked at him askance.
"Precisely, it is my duty to assure all of my wife's desires are met."
"I just bet. Now you wouldn't happen to enjoy that duty, would you?" McCoy asked with a grin.
"Well Doctor, the act naturally has a pleasurable aspect as biological functions go. I do appreciate that it would be a chore otherwise." Spock answered and took a sip of his brandy. He found himself in need of the warmth the beverage would provide as his 'friends' grilled him for marital details.
"A chore!? Sure, sure, Spock. You're just doing your logical duty." McCoy said not believing a word of it.
"See, there you go Bones," Jim slapped Spock on the back again. "Spock is a dutiful man. Don't go trying to stir up trouble where there is none. They're fine. He's fine. Everything can get back to normal."
For Jim back to normal meant the efficient and familiar functioning of the Enterprise. For Spock things were far from normal though he didn't voice his concerns to the others.
As Jim steered the conversation to another area and Spock responded automatically where necessary, he thought of his predicament. He was engaging in sexual relations with Uhura quite frequently and she seemed very satisfied but he was still concerned. Was it adequate, was she happy? Was he pleasing his wife to the best of his abilities? Why had she felt the need to visit his lab today?
Not for the first time he wondered about his parent's marriage. No child wants to think of their parents having sex but Spock could not help but wonder how his parents managed their marriage. Did Sarek and his mother engage in sexual relations as frequently as he and Nyota did? Sarek had tried to tell Spock while he was on Vulcan that it was his duty to please his new bondmate and Spock had assured Sarek he could do it. Was Sarek trying to warn Spock that human women had sexual appetites that a Vulcan male would find distasteful? Spock could find nothing distasteful about his wife. In fact, he found her too attractive which was proving to be a distraction.
He often found himself thinking of her when they were separated, such as now. When he should be engaging in the conversation between Bones and Jim he was thinking about Nyota and their sex life. Perhaps such behavior was normal for a human male but Spock was not a Human, not completely. He needed guidance but he didn't know quite where to turn. One thing was for certain, his two friends, though well-meaning, were no help at all.