Nocturne - Chapter Three: Reluctant Longing

Rated - M (for suggestive adult themes, references to some violence, and coarse language)

o - o - o - o - o : Indicates scene or POV change

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.

o - o - o - o - o

Kagome had rushed home in time to avoid Inuyasha strolling through the doorway. She had folded the hankimono up and hidden it within one of her modern bags she knew Inuyasha never rummaged through. Quickly, she'd changed into her usual miko garb and had even enough time to brew tea before he arrived.

To anyone else, her guilt may have been obvious, but Inuyasha was again oblivious to her inner thoughts, only thinking that her silence indicated how angry she still felt. Inside, she shook with fear. Any moment now, he would smell the scent of another male on her and blow up. He would have every right to, she told herself. Instead, he seemed to take the blame for their fight the night before.

He approached her from behind while she was readying a cup. His arms wrapped around her and she let out a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding. Tears filled her eyes.

"Inuyasha, I'm-I'm sorry...about...about last night," she choked out.

"No, I'm sorry…" he whispered into the curve of her neck. "I should've been more…" he paused and searched for a word he'd heard her use before, "sensitive to your mood."

Any other day, Kagome would have retaliated to that statement.

'Her mood?!'

Because she was just so touchy these days. But instead, she let it go, her shame eating at her. She could not help but feel sad.

Here she was, dirty from a night with Inuyasha's elder brother, no less, and now in his arms as if nothing had happened. It crushed her soul to lie, but she knew that Inuyasha would never understand. She'd been enchanted. But why had she wanted it so badly? A part of herself knew she could have purged herself from the spell that had been cast on her. Why did she let it run its course?

Inuyasha was feeling very apologetic, and Kagome was feeling very guilty. When he began to plant light kisses down her neck, she moaned despite herself. He pulled her around, and their lips met with practiced ease. She wrapped her hands around his neck, twining her fingers through his hair. Despite herself, she wondered if Sesshomaru's locks felt as soft as his brothers or his lips as tender?

With some mental gumption, she was able to dismiss those thoughts and let Inuyasha's skilled hands work down her body, bringing her to life and back to the present. She buried the events from last night deep down and promised herself she would never bring it up again.

o ~ o ~ o ~ o ~ o

A couple of months passed with no incident. The crazy night where Kagome and Sesshomaru had met in the cave, deep in the forest had been put aside, and life went on as usual.

The days had turned from chilly to bitterly cold. Winter had arrived in full force, bringing wet snow and glacial, unforgiving ice. It was times like these where Kagome yearned for amenities from the future like space heaters or insulation.

She had just come from a family that had fallen victim to smallpox. She had guessed what the illness was based on the sores seen all over the skin.

The lesions were mostly on the face and then spread down the appendages. But there was no way for her to tell for sure. It was a thankful thing that she'd brought some things back with her before the well had closed up, one being scores of books. Otherwise, she may have to rely on her rudimentary knowledge of the illnesses and diseases which was entirely lacking since many of them had been eradicated in her time.

Still, since this particular disease was no longer around in the present, she was not vaccinated against it and had to take special precautions. Those special precautions being that she couldn't go near or touch those infected. Seclusion for the family was all she could do outside of leave instructions to make them comfortable. The sad fact of the matter was that these people had to recover on their own.

There was nothing she could do, and it ate at her. She found solace in that this was the only family to exhibit symptoms, and they were able to quarantine the family before it spread and killed. No other village in Sengoku Jidai could boast such knowledge.

She left the quarantined house and made her way back to Kaede's home. The older woman, who had mentored Kagome in healing, herbs, and other miko duties, did not get out much anymore. Kaede had developed arthritis in her joints, and it was increasingly painful for her to move about. She had a difficult time accepting her limited mobility, becoming somewhat cantankerous from being cooped up.

Kagome had brought some herbs from her garden to brew in a tea that would soothe the inflammation that plagued the elderly woman. Her thoughts were somber as she approached Kaede's hut. She saw that Rin was just arriving as well. The young woman gave a friendly wave before disappearing inside.

Seeing Rin always made guilt blossom in the back of her mind. Rin had been Sesshomaru's ward before the well had closed six years ago and before Kagome's reappearance, he had deposited her here with Kaede to learn more about humans.

Every time that Kagome saw Rin, her heart fluttered with anticipation. Sesshomaru had come to pay Rin visits occasionally. Often to bring her gifts of some sort. Things he thought befitted a young human woman. Those visits were relatively short and uneventful. Sesshomaru was usually quiet, allowing Rin to do most of the talking. Still, he had not been to visit since before that night, and Kagome felt dread over the inevitable.

How long would it be before he came back? What would she do? How would she react? The thoughts raced through Kagome's mind, and she felt her breath hitch in her chest. Quite suddenly, she began to feel faint, her head started to spin, and her world faded to black.

"Kagome?!" a light, distorted voice called out. "Kagome, are you okay?!"

Kagome's eyes fluttered. Moisture from the condensation-soaked grass seeped through her clothes and helped to bring her back into consciousness. Rin leaned over her, concern warping her warm brown eyes.

"Are you okay?" Rin repeated.

Kagome pushed herself up and looked around.

"You fainted," Rin supplied. She held out her hand to Kagome and helped her up.

"Thank you. I-I'm not sure." Kagome brushed off her skirts despite them not being soiled. "I didn't eat breakfast today," she speculated.

Rin smiled and guided Kagome inside Kaede's house, one arm behind Kagome's back just in case there was another spell.

"It's well past lunch. You work yourself too hard, you know."

Kagome gave a half-smile. It was true that she had poured herself into her work. She needed something to pass the time and keep her from doing a tail-spin into her guilt. Besides that, with Kaede out of commission and Rin an acolyte, her workload had doubled. The number of people who needed help and the influx of disease kept her on her toes.

"Thank you, Rin. I just need to sit, I think."

Once inside, Rin guided Kagome in front of the hearth. Kaede sat opposite, propped up against pillows and other items to keep her comfortable.

"Kagome, child, ye look pale," Kaede said.

"I'm fine. I just felt a little dizzy and lost my balance," Kagome explained.

Her head still swam, and she grabbed the sides of her head to keep the room from spinning. Out of the corner of her vision, she could see Rin moving about, and the motion was making her feel queasy. Kagome closed her eyes. The momentary pull of darkness was soothing.

Rin touched her shoulder. "Tea?"

She offered down a cup of some steaming herbal concoction. Kagome opened her eyes and took up the proffered cup.

"Thank you, Rin." She sipped on the tea, noting its bitterness but relishing the warmth that cut through her.

"Better?" Rin asked and sat down beside Kaede to watch Kagome.

She nodded and smiled. "Yes, much."

After finishing the cup, she felt much better. Her fainting spell had definitely been attributed to dehydration.

"Oh, before I forget, I brought some herbs for you Kaede. they can help with the pain." She pulled the herbs from a hidden pocket and passed them to Rin.

"Bless ye child," Kaede said. She looked at Rin. "Do ye mind, Rin?" she asked.

"Not at all," Rin said with a smile. She began to hum a tuneless song and set to prepping the tea.

Kagome watched as Rin picked up a tea kettle and steeped the dried herbs in hot water. She noted how Rin had grown into such a lovely young woman. She was still as chatty as ever, her time with Sesshomaru had not diminished her vocality. Again her thoughts drifted to him. Rin was a constant reminder.

"So, Rin...It has been a while since he's visited," Kagome said aloud. She broke under the pressure of her curiosity.

Rin did not turn around, not thinking anything of the inquiry. "Yes. Lord Sesshomaru has been busy of late. He has had more frequent troubles with local warring states."

Kagome nodded with unfeigned interest. "Oh?"

"Jaken told me that some local lords were rallying and amassing near Lord Sesshomaru's lands. But he can handle that rabble no problem," Rin explained.

That explained why he had not visited in a while, Kagome consoled herself. Why did that make her feel better? This should not have made her feel anything at all. Yet she sat, thinking about a man like some school girl. She shook the thoughts from her head.

Kagome spent another hour with Kaede and Rin, speaking about mundane things before she had to leave. Making some polite goodbyes, she exited the house. She had gotten several steps away before Rin ran out calling after her.

"Kagome, wait! I forgot to give you this." She held out her hand.

When Kagome gave her a confused look, she added, "For your pains."

"Oh, thank you," Kagome said. She took the cloth pouch from Rin.

"Sure, see you tomorrow!"

Kagome watched her duck back inside the house, and she looked down at the pouch in her hands. She took steadying breaths and pocketed the bag before walking away. Her thoughts raced right along with her heart. She tried to match the speed of her pace with the adrenaline pumping through her.

She arrived at her house, and her head spun with something different than dizziness. The day was still young, so Inuyasha was not here. He was not due back for a while. He had left with Miroku to visit a neighboring village that was being plagued by a ghost. Kagome never knew how long they would be gone, the time spent away was highly dependent on unknown circumstances.

The home they shared was empty, and Kagome had some free time on her hands before she made her rounds through the village. She walked over to her bookshelf and pulled out a worn novel. Of the items she had brought back from the future, these tomes were something she did not want to part with. Inuyasha had not understood why she would want to keep such things, though she did catch him leafing through the pages from time to time.

The pages of her book were worn from use, creased, oiled from her fingers, and folded on themselves to mark specific places for future reference. The book she held now was on human anatomy and biology, markedly the female anatomy. She flipped to one such page on menstruation cycles. It was easier to understand how to treat ailments when one realized precisely why they occurred.

The dried herbs that Rin had given to Kagome were to help with monthly pains. She put a finger and began to hunt. Her finger guided her through the text. There was nothing. Nothing to be done now anyway. Snapping the book shut she stashed it away. It was time for her to return to reality.

Kagome made her rounds but was eventually called outside the village perimeter. A man had fallen and broken his leg while hunting. Usually, such an injury would be brought to her, but this case was severe enough to warrant her presence. A young man, a companion of the injured, had sought her out to bring her. His face was ashen when he had finally found her and urged her to make haste.

They arrived in short order, and Kagome found the man crying out in pain. His leg splayed out before him, and a bone protruded out at a sickening angle. No wonder his companion did not want to move him. She hurried to his side and knelt.

"What is your name?" She asked while looking at the wound.

"Masa-Masahide," he grunted out through clenched teeth.

"Tell me, Masahide, what happened?" Though she was asking him questions, she only did so to distract him while she put pressure on the wound. He cried out again, louder this time.

"Masahide, how did you come across such a wound?" She asked again. She had to stop the bleeding and splint the wound to move him. There was little she could do out here in the woods with few supplies, and even less she could do for such an injury to bring about a full recovery.

Kagome was able to splint the wound enough to where the young man did not scream out in pain when they made to move him. It took all of their strength to support the man's dead weight. He wasn't much help as he staggered between them, putting all of his weight on their shoulders with each step. Slowly but surely they made it back to the village. He was brought to his home, which he shared with a young wife.

Kagome felt tinged with pity for the young couple. Even though she had cleansed the wound to the best of her ability, the odds of him ever having use of his leg again were slim. Kagome left his wife instructions on how to care for his wound. She was thanked profusely before departing into the night.

It had grown late while she attended to the man. She sighed, resigned to the loss of the day. She had wanted to visit her friend Sango this evening, but she was sure the circumstances would be understood. She made her way back to her house on the outskirts of the village and stopped. No light shown from within meaning that Inuyasha had not returned.

Kagome quickly made something to eat before pulling out her futon. Stoking the flames from the hearth, she finished any lingering household chores and prepared to sleep and awake to another day.

The darkness folded in upon her, bringing with it the evening sounds of crickets and other fauna. The screech of an owl pierced the area near the wall and brought Kagome back into full consciousness. She sat up and looked around the room, trying to gauge the time. The bitter cold had set in through the walls and the doorway. The black night had found its way into her abode, marked by the fire that had been snuffed out. She let out a long breath through her nose and pushed aside the blankets that trapped in her body heat. Icy air met her exposed skin, sending a shiver through her as she tended to the fire.

Her head snapped up when she heard footsteps outside. She waited several moments, poised to attack. Defenseless was not a word that could be used to describe her. When the well had closed off, sealing her in her own time, she had sworn to never feel powerless again.

Kagome had taken up several extracurricular classes to assist in keeping her busy. She had not expected the well within her family's shrine to ever work again, but something told her the knowledge would become useful somewhere along the line.

As the seconds ticked by, nothing happened, and Kagome gave one last glance around the room before finishing with the hearth. The flames soared to life and settled back down to a steady roar. The heat from the flames was soothing as much as they were hypnotizing. Staring into the flames, she settled on the changing colors leaping from the logs. The Blues, greens, yellows, and oranges all melding together made her feel drowsy. Thankfully, the warmth had begun to fill the room, and she was able to climb back under her blankets and settle into sleep.

The sound of footsteps resounded through the small domicile. Kagome heard it in her dreams, but consciousness was just outside of her grasp. She felt as though she were wading through molasses when her eyes cracked open barely wide enough to take in some of the light from the middle of the room. There was another creak, and a flash of silver floated past her vision.

'Inuyasha?' she wondered.

Her head rose a fraction, and once she'd confirmed that nothing was amiss, she returned to her dreams.

o - o - o - o - o

She had fallen into a deep slumber, her breathing deep and relaxed when he had arrived. Why had he come here? He wasn't quite sure. He had come to the village to check in on Rin. The young girl was as radiant as ever. Her time in the human town had done her well, and he was pleased that he had decided to deposit her here among her kind. The life of a yokai was no place for a delicate mortal girl.

But why had he come here, to the outskirts of the village, to a place where his younger brother resided with his mortal woman? It surely was not to catch up with her. He had barely gotten over the derision he felt for the half breed and could barely palate time spent near humans aside from Rin. They were just inferior. Not worth his time and beneath him in every way. Yet, why was he outside listening to her gentle breathing?

His lip lifted into a sneer, and he made to leave. He must purge himself of such ridiculous thoughts. He had convinced himself that the magic of that night was all that had tethered him to the woman. Seeing her or scenting her plain human smell would drive all longing from him. First, he would have to admit to himself that he felt longing. He was above longing. Besides, he'd barely had any interaction with the woman. There was nothing to draw him to her outside of magic.

Something stopped him from leaving, planting him in place. He could hear his name muttered with a sleepy, muffled tone, "Sessho…"

So, she dreamed of him. The thought made him feel pleased until he caught himself and expelled the breath through his nose quickly. This would not do at all. The great Lord Sesshomaru could not - would not - be enthralled to a human woman. No, he had other, more pressing matters to attend to. Without a second glance behind him, he left before he had the opportunity to change his mind.

A/N: They are definitely drawn to one another but both Kag and Sessh are being quite obstinate about it all. Things are very stressful for Kag as she faces guilt for the "act" in the first chapter and her current relationship with Inuyasha. And of course Sessh is doing what he does best, trying to talk himself out of the feels he may have caught.

Thank you for reading. Please review, if you don't mind.