Nocturne - Chapter Fifteen: Making Amends

Rated - M (for suggestive adult themes, references to some violence, and coarse language)

o - o - o - o - o : Indicates scene or POV change

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.

o - o - o - o - o

"Hush, my little one," Kagome crooned to the squalling infant. She smiled, her eyes dewy with admiration, and ran a finger down the bridge of the child's nose. The soothing motion caused the child's dark indigo eyes - the only feature Kagome could claim to have come from her - to become heavy and the crying to cease. With each swipe of her finger down, the infant's nose caused its eyelids to droop further and further until a tiny sigh was heard, and the soft breaths of sleep took over.

"Such a fighter. Never wants to sleep, this one," she whispered. Kagome touched the child's face adoringly, running her fingers gently through its downy hair and over the crescent moon on its forehead.

She let out her contented sigh and looked up at her friend, Sango. "How can you love someone so much that you only just met?"

Sango smiled warmly at the endearment, "It's crazy, isn't it?"

Kagome continued to look down upon the sleeping babe and smile. She was lost in her little world, and Sango was happy to allow her friend this small escape before the harshness of reality set in.

Sango pursed her lips and shook her head. It was her turn to provide support to Kagome after they had returned to the village. It had been decided among herself, Miroku, and Rin to take turns visiting and ensuring Kagome had everything that she and the babe needed.

"Have you spoken to Inuyasha yet?" Sango asked.

Without looking up, Kagome answered softly, "No."

Of course not, Sango thought. "Kagome," she said with an air of annoyance, "It's been weeks…"

Kagome looked up briefly and rolled her eyes. She gave Sango a deadpan stare. "He knows where I am. I haven't gone anywhere, Sango. When he is ready to talk, I will gladly talk to him."

Sango made a mental note to club the man upside the head the next time she saw him. He had been sulking around nearly as much as he used to before Kagome returned. "Listen, Kagome. I know that all this happened, and you have the most to deal with because of it, but...at the same time, you are not the only victim here."

Kagome's eyes softened, and she returned to looking at the babe, still sleeping soundly against her breast. "I know, Sango...I know. I've been selfish and-and it's eaten away at me."

"Then find him and talk to him. I don't think you are giving him the credit he deserves," she explained.

Kagome rolled her eyes. "Credit for what? Running away?" Inuyasha had not stuck around after carrying Kagome and her newborn home. He'd deposited them gently down and taken off without another word.

"Kami help me," Sango said under her breath, her eyes looking upwards for heavenly intervention. "He hasn't run away. Quit being so obstinate!"

Kagome glowered and turned her head to look at nothing in particular. Anything but the woman who constantly prodded her to open up. Still looking away, she responded flatly, "I'll find him tomorrow. I know where he is hiding away."

"Good," Sango replied. Hopefully, Kagome would keep her word.

A rustling noise could be heard from the doorway, and both women looked up to see Rin stepping inside. Her eyes lit up once she saw the sleeping form of the baby. She clapped her hands together silently and hurried over to Kagome's side and put out her arms expectantly. "Let Rin hold the tiny baby."

Kagome smiled and relinquished the babe into Rin's waiting arms. "Awe, little baby Sesshy is so sweet."

Kagome and Sango's eyes met. Kagome had not explicitly named Sesshomaru as the father, but the crescent moon on the child's forehead was plain as day, and Rin had not once questioned Kagome. Instead, as soon as Rin saw the babe after they had returned, she cried tears of joy.

"Have you named her yet?" Rin asked. The child had not stirred even after being passed around. Her tiny features were the only thing to move, her brows pulling together and her lips twitching to pull into a dream-induced smile.

"No, not yet," Kagome said. She reached over and ran her hand through the child's greyish hair and gently tweaked the tiny, felt ears on her head. Kagome thought that the child's locks would be silver, much like Sesshomaru's and even Inuyasha's, but it seemed her attributes were strong enough to subdue the features she had assumed would be dominant.

"Good. Lord Sesshomaru will want to name her, I am sure," Rin explained while she rocked the baby in her arms.

Sango coughed, and Kagome fidgeted where she sat. Sesshomaru had not been seen nor heard from since the day, weeks ago, when he left with his bride to be. Rin did not seem to think twice over the daiyokai's absence. She'd explained that he had often left her for periods of time as he dealt with situations that may have posed a threat to her. His absence now had a purpose, she'd told them.

Kagome didn't have the same level of certainty. In her experience, people didn't just change their perspectives overnight. The tolerance Sesshomaru had built for his brother was barely palpable. Accepting a child was another matter. She pushed the thoughts from her mind and focused on another daunting task she had to face on the morrow.

o - o - o - o - o

The next day, Kagome awoke as she had for the past several weeks: alone. The baby was nestled next to her, sleeping soundly. Well, not completely alone, she figured with a tiny smile.

She'd had dreaded this moment all night and even more so now that it was upon her. But Kagome had promised she would talk to him, and that was just what she planned to do.

Strapping the child to her back, Kagome made her way to the Goshinboku tree. She knew that was where Inuyasha had run off to all those times and was likely there now. It was still quite early, and he may not have left the tree branches just yet.

He'd probably smell her before she came into view, and she could sense him herself, but he stayed put high in the branches as she walked up to the tree. Kagome looked up and could see nothing in the budding canopy.

"Inuyasha!" She called up.

Silence answered her, but she could see tiny flashes of red from his Fire Rat robes. "Inuyasha, come down here and talk to me."

Still silence. Fine. If he wanted to act this way, she would, too.

"Okay. You asked for it!" She yelled. She took several steps back and called out loudly, "Sit, boy!"

The creaking and breaking of branches along with muttered obscenities could be heard as Inuyasha plummeted to the ground, landing face-first in the dirt.

"What the FUCK, wench!" He grumbled into the ground.

"Watch your language!" Kagome hissed, turning her head to look back at the baby. The child watched with large, observant eyes. "And don't you even think about running off, or I will 'sit' you until there is a large enough hole in the ground to bury you in."

Inuyasha pushed himself up from the ground, spitting the dirt out, and sat down with his arms crossed. His head turned petulantly away and a scowl painted on his face.

Maybe talking would not be helpful at this moment, she considered. There had to be another way to approach this situation, and it came to her quickly. Kagome unwrapped the baby and pulled her into her arms. Before Inuyasha could see her intentions or protest, Kagome thrust the small bundle into his arms. "Here. Hold her."

Inuyasha sputtered but reacted to the tiny squirming mass forced upon him, holding her awkwardly. "No! Take it away from me!" He demanded.

Kagome took a step back and crossed her arms. "Quit being a child and hold your niece," she told him. It felt strange to say it out loud, but it was the truth, and it was the first warning to Inuyasha.

Inuyasha sat straight and held the child away from his chest but looked down and stared into the baby's eyes. The baby stared back at him, not making a sound. "Why?" He asked, not looking up from the infant.

"Why what?" Kagome asked. It seemed her impromptu plan had worked to get him to open up and talk to her.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked. "About this..."

Kagome was sure that Miroku and Sango had filled him in, but he wanted to hear it from her. "I was afraid." That much was true.

He looked up at her and subconsciously brought the baby closer to his chest. "Of what?"

Kagome tried to think of how to respond. What could she possibly say to help him understand? She wasn't even sure of it herself most of the time. "Everything," she admitted.

He shook his head. "That makes no damn sense."

"Language!" she warned again in hushed tones. "And I know it doesn't make sense. None of this makes sense."

Inuyasha looked back down at the baby and brought a hand up to the baby, putting a finger near her tiny hands. She grabbed his finger with her hand and clenched it tightly. A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, but he fought it down. "I thought we made sense."

"I thought so, too." Kagome kneeled in front of him, looking at him earnestly, hoping he would see her torment.

"Then what happened?" Inuyasha asked, his tone urgent.

She shrugged, hesitating. "We grew apart." When he rolled his eyes, she added, "You can't force two things to be together that aren't meant to be."

He seemed unconvinced. "But you came back to me. You left everything for me, and it is my job to take care of you."

"I did come for you. I wished every day to come back." That was also very true. It felt so relieving to get this all off her chest, even if it was just some of her pain and frustration she was unloading. "Then things just...did not go as expected."

He glared down at the baby, "You mean you fucking my brother?"

"Dammit, Inuyasha language! Or so help me!" Kagome knew he wouldn't let that go, even after learning the truth behind it. She would never have allowed these events to play out in the order they did voluntarily.

Inuyasha just watched the baby grow still in his arms, his face hard and unreadable. The silence continued to grow, and Kagome knew she would have to break it, or Inuyasha would clam up further.

"Inuyasha, please. I didn't mean to hurt you. I would never have hurt you. I still love you," she explained. It may not have been the love it had started as, but it was still there.

Her admonition surprised him, and he glanced up at her. He didn't seem to be convinced. "Sure," he replied flatly.

"Stop it."

He shrugged, "Stop what?"

Her irk began to rise. Why did he have to make it so complicated? "Stop acting like a child. Kami. Even the baby is more mature than you right now."

The baby had begun to dose in Inuyasha's arms, but that didn't make the statement untrue.

Inuyasha growled defensively. "Hey! I resemble that remark!" he all but barked. The noise jolted the baby awake, but she did not cry out. She did begin to stretch and push her feet out.

Kagome couldn't stop the laugh, even in her frustration. "You mean resent, idiot."

"What?" he asked, genuinely confused.

"Nevermind. Just quit sulking." She put a tentative hand on his knee and hoped he wouldn't jerk away. "Listen. I know you are mad, but I didn't mean for this to happen. I should have told you, yes, and for that, I am truly sorry. Please forgive me."

His eyes were intense, then softened a bit. "You should have told me. I could have helped you. I would've fucked that witch up."

Kagome shot him a warning look but let his curse slide. "Right. I'm sure."

"Are you...are you happy?" he asked suddenly. He grabbed her hand from his knee and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

This question was not an easy one either, but she felt more comfortable answering him. "No. I'm not. But I'm not unhappy either. I'm in this strange in-between state of bliss and sorrow. I'll be okay, though." She hesitated before adding, "Will you be okay?"

"Why wouldn't I?" he bit out, looking nearly offended at the question.

Kagome wasn't sure if she'd ever overcome the feeling of whiplash from his emotional changes. "I don't know." It seemed like an appropriate time to turn the conversation to a lighter topic.

Inuyasha had taken to handling her baby well. Kagome knew he would never do anything to hurt an innocent child, no matter the circumstances of her birth. The baby also seemed to enjoy Inuyasha, which made Kagome smile contentedly.

"So, is she all that bad?" she asked, smiling down at the infant.

"Keh. I guess it isn't so bad. It's kinda cute." He tried pulling his finger from the infant's grip, but she had locked on. Inuyasha quickly added, "But only cuz it looks like you."

He tugged his finger away gently and scrunched his nose up. "Wait, why does it look like it's judging me?"

The baby was staring intently at Inuyasha, her dark eyes narrowed, and Kagome had to stifle a laugh once she heard the child start to grunt. A loud, squishy sound erupted from the tiny babe, and Inuyasha's eyes widened in abject horror, his lip pulling up into a look of disgust.

"What the actual fuck was that?!" he held the baby out at arm's length. "Why does it smell so fucking bad?" He pushed the baby to Kagome, "Oh FUCK, it's….it's on me! Take it! Take it!"

Kagome grabbed the baby and laughed the hardest she had in months.

o - o - o - o - o

She spent the days in a better mood than she had in ages. A weight had been lifted from her chest that she hadn't realized was even there. The levity she felt was bliss compared to the agony she had endured on end for months. Kagome still felt a hollowness to her, but it was easier to fill the void with the time and love from her friends. There was only so much they could do, though.

Kagome had only recently allowed herself to admit that she longed for something more. It was the reason she had returned to Sengoku Jidai, after all. However, the prospect of that seemed further away than ever before.

The days mainly passed in relative succession. Getting used to a new little person had been easier than she'd anticipated. The little one, as she'd come to call her, grew at a quicker rate than any typical human child. Kagome figured it was due to her parentage. The baby also had a different temperament than she would have thought.

Babies were little lumps that cried, slept, and ate. Her little one, though, was another matter altogether. She very seldom cried, and while she ate and slept at a typical rate, she was much more alert and observant than a human child of comparable age.

At six weeks old, her little one resembled a larger, four-month-old infant. Kagome knew better than to be surprised, though.

She'd once asked Inuyasha if he knew anything about it when she caught him hanging around Sango and Miroku, but he only claimed not to know.

"How should I know?" he'd asked. "It's not like anyone was around to tell me."

Sango reassured Kagome that there was nothing to worry about. There was nothing unrealistic about a half yokai child growing at an accelerated rate. That did not stop the worry from seeping back in and eating at her little by little.

o - o - o - o - o

Traveling to the mainland had been a chore of necessity. Sesshomaru had no desire to escort Tsering to her home across the sea but was left with little choice. It seemed the only way to get the Inu woman's mind off the mortal woman and child.

Tsering Dawa had been persistent in her questioning, and Sesshomaru despised being questioned nearly as much as he hated dishonorable acts. As soon as they had returned to the palace, she had slyly inquired his stance on mortals and their mixings with yokai.

Sesshomaru had been led to believe that Tsering and her family held mortals in disdain and hanyos even more so. His mother had been misinformed and, by extension, had misled him as well. The inu-woman had an extremely warped perception of the uses of hanyos.

Tsering claimed that Keyuri, her hanyo retainer, was a slave but an honorable one. Sesshomaru did not deem her beliefs to be any concern of his own and did nothing to inquire further outside of what Tsering offered willingly. Although, he did ponder how the retainer came to the Dawa's service.

The journey had been uneventful and full of senseless politics. It was nothing but the inu-woman showing him off to lesser yokai in her brother's court far to the western mountains. The royal court, called the DaiŌzoku, was unusual even to Sesshomaru's standards. Thankfully, Tsering's brother, Fan Tsenpo, was away on "business" she had claimed. All the better, Sesshomaru thought. He'd heard unsettling stories of the man and had no desire to meet him any sooner than necessary.

Throughout the entire ordeal, Sesshomaru had been distant in more ways than usual, mainly giving nonverbal answers and barely fulfilling his capacity as an escort. His mind was far, far away. He could not stop himself from thinking of her, even as he tried to push it all away. There was the matter at hand, to continue his bloodline and to maintain his familial honor. Yet, even with the prospect right in front of him, it could not have seemed further away. There was always something just below the surface nagging at him, drawing his thoughts back to a small village across the sea.

A/N: So, here's some quick insight into the newbies. Tsering and Fan are daiyokai from the mainland (China). The siblings hail from ancient Tibetan lands and, like how Sesshomaru (and IY) are derived from a Shiba Inu (Japanese puppers), they are derived from the Tibetan Mastiff. At least in my story - don't ask where I get these things! So, they are super ancient, probably 2000 years old. The DaiOzuko is their clan, but you won't learn much about it until later as it's all very hush, hush. Kind of like the Templar Knights and all their secrets (shhhh). I've already divulged too much.

Some pronunciations for the new characters names:

Tsering Dawa is pronounced = TSEH-ring DAH-wha (Longevity Moon)

Keyuri is pronounced = KEY-uri (Flower)

Fan Tsenpo = FAHN TSEHN-po (Lethal King)

Review? Review? Mayhaps?