And when we both get older

With walking canes and hair of gray

Have no fear, even though it's hard to hear

I will stand real close and say

Thank you for being a friend

~Song by Andrew M Gold~

Fun fact, this is the Golden Girls theme song. Who else knew it had more verses? Go check out the whole thing, it's actually quite beautiful.

Girlfriends, Gossip, and Good D

Shortly after Spock dropped off Uhura at her door, the chime rang, and Uhura braced herself. Was it already beginning?

When she opened the door, Charlene was standing there with a huge grin on her face.

"Oh, it's just you," she sighed and walked back into her quarters.

"Well, hello to you too!" Charlene followed Uhura in and let the door close behind her. "Everyone on the ship is talking about you and Mr. Spock. Where is he?" She looked around.

"Why?" Uhura asked as if she didn't already know.

"Why? Why the trial of the century, my girl! Your testimony was the stuff of legend." Charlene said.

"How does everybody know what I said? The courtroom wasn't even big enough for everyone from the ship to attend."

"Girl, the trial is a matter of public record now. Everyone listened to the transcripts as soon as they were released. News articles published the highlights. You're famous!"

"Oh my god! I am so tired of being the subject of ships gossip. Now all of Starfleet is talking about me?"

"Well, then you need to stop having men abduct you and carry you off for nefarious reasons, and then have them put on trial for said abduction," Charlene joked.

"It's not funny Char. None of that was my fault! And it's nobody else's business. Why do people even care what Spock and I do? You'd think everybody who cared knew all about that incident before the trial. Gossip hasn't stopped about me since the moment it happened." Uhura huffed and sat on her sofa.

Charlene sat down next to her. "We didn't know all the juicy details that led up to it. For example, people were very interested in you giving Mr. Spock your door lock code, allowing him entry to your suite anytime he 'needed' to, day or night."

"So what, is that so unusual? You have my lock code!"

"It's not unusual to give your code to your lover, no." Charlene teased.

"Spock and I weren't lovers!" Uhura said in frustration.

"Well, now you were. At least that's the prevailing gossip, that you two have been getting it on for years. People swear they saw Spock coming and going from your quarters at all times of the day and night. Some say they even caught the two of you." Charlene grinned and raised her eyebrows suggestively.

Uhura couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Caught us? Caught us doing what?"

"Don't act naïve now, you know."

"Yeah right. Nobody caught us doing anything because we didn't do anything. We were just friends. I mean, we're talking about Spock! He wasn't using the code to sneak into my quarters for sex!"

"Then why did you give the code to him?" Charlene already knew why, but she wanted to know if Nyota knew.

"I don't know, it seemed convenient at the time."

Charlene rolled her eyes. Her friend was so clueless. "Yeah, convenient for your not-so-secret rendezvous, so they say."

"There was no secret rendezvous! Charlene, you know me better than that."

"I know you, but tell that to the crew. Though I warn you, no one will believe it after the testimony you gave. "I'd do anything for Spock, he didn't need to ask" Charlene quoted Nyota. "You really laid it on thick. Nobody believes he kidnapped you and forced you to marry him against your will now, not that anybody who knew you believed it. They all think you two were together for ages and just ran off to get married on the down-low."

"Well, he didn't kidnap me!" Uhura insisted.

"Really Ny? You and I both know the truth."

"He didn't, not really. I told the truth at the trial, technically." She hedged.

"Technically? Is that a new fancy way of saying you lied?"

"I didn't lie. I just told the subjective truth."

"What's the difference between a lie and subjective truth?" Charlene wanted to know.

"About 10 to 20 years of hard labor on a penal colony," Uhura admitted.

"Ny!"

"Look I never asked for any of this. This whole situation was way out of control. I never wanted to be taken to Vulcan, never wanted to bond with Spock, and I certainly never wanted to press charges against him or have a court-martial! It should never have happened. I told Komack and that prosecutor that I would not go along with their plans. No matter what Spock did or didn't do, it was between me and him."

"Starfleet thinks otherwise," Charlene told her.

"Well, fuck Starfleet!" Uhura said angrily and stood up, pacing the room.

"Oh, Ny. I get that you're angry. But Starfleet isn't wrong. They don't think officers taking off with Starfleet shuttles and fellow officers is appropriate behavior for an officer. They wanted to make an example of Mr. Spock for the good of the service, and some people won't be happy with his exoneration." Charlene tried to explain.

Uhura stopped her angry pacing. "Why not? They got their pound of flesh. They put him on trial, aired all his business, showed the fleet that nobody is above the law, not even the son of the Vulcan ambassador. They went a lot harder on Spock than they did Tongo Rad, the son of that Catullan ambassador. He not only stole a space cruiser but hijacked the Enterprise and attempted to murder us all!"

"Yeah, but the Federation prosecuted on that incident. Besides, Spock is a Starfleet officer who answers to Starfleet. Tongo Rad was just a kid from a low-level planet. If the Vulcan government wanted to sweep the incident under the rug they could have. I'm sure if the trial had ended differently they would have stepped in."

"I don't think so. Spock and his father don't exactly see eye to eye about Starfleet. And Spock was prepared to serve time; that idiot!"

Nyota's outburst shocked Charlene. "Idiot? Mr. Spock?"

"Yes, that self-sacrificing son of a bitch!"

"Ny! What has gotten into you?"

"It's true. He would have lost everything he'd worked so hard for if he had pleaded guilty. And it wouldn't have just affected him, it would have affected everyone involved, everyone who cares for him and tried to help him. All our hard work would have been for nothing. I didn't do what I did just so he could end up in prison. He promised not to leave me!" Uhura ended her tirade and cried.

Charlene jumped to hug her friend. "Well, lucky he has you now, right? And he won't leave you now."

"Yeah, lucky for him, but what about me? I can't keep up with him. He's always going to do this, sacrifice himself for someone or something. But what about me?" Uhura cried.

Charlene listed to the fear and sadness in her friend's voice, and she understood it well. Nyota was just coming to the realization that she could lose someone she loved. "You're taking this all pretty well, considering. I thought you would be a nervous wreck or be a hostile witness, but your testimony was very convincing. You're entitled to let loose now."

"I was just telling the truth. And I had Spock there. He helped me be strong." Uhura confessed as she cried on Charlene's shoulder.

"I'm glad you two are still getting along so well."

"Yeah. I almost left his ass, but Sarek changed my mind. I discovered Spock was just being Spock." Uhura let go of Charlene and found a tissue.

"What do you mean?"

"Spock was playing martyr as usual and resigned his commission. He wanted to 'release me from our bond' so that I wouldn't have to testify and possibly incriminate myself or ruin my career. He thought he was doing the logical thing despite knowing how much our separation would hurt me."

"So how did Ambassador Sarek change your mind?"

"He reminded me about Vulcan culture. Once you know Spock, you know he will hurt himself before he allows anyone he cares for to be harmed. Knowing that I realized he was just being self-sacrificing for me and the only way to repay him was to stand beside him. Someone has to save Spock once in a while too. Even Superman needs support."

"So who are you, his Wonder Woman?"

"Damn right!" Uhura said, regaining her composure.

"And would that make Jim his Batman?"

"I suppose so."

"Then who am I in all this drama?" Charlene wondered.

Uhura grinned. "You can be Catwoman!"

"Ooh, a bad girl? I like it."

"You would."

Charlene changed subjects, seeing that Uhura was in a better state of mind. "Ny, while we're on the subject of bad girls..."

"What about bad girls?" Uhura frowned.

Charlene sat back down on the sofa and got serious. "Have you heard about Christine?"

Uhura took her seat too, though she was not interested in more gossip. "No, what now?"

"She's having a rough time. They reprimanded her for helping the prosecution." Charlene told her.

"Why, she got subpoenaed just like I did."

"No," Charlene shook her head. "She did more than that."

"So, what did she do?"

"She was snitching to Komack's office the entire time. She told them about your punching Spock."

"So that's how Komack knew so fast? I almost got charged with domestic violence!" Now Uhura was angry again.

"Yep. That's how he knew. God only knows what else she was feeding them. I think she shared Spock's medical records. Luckily McCoy didn't document the actual cause of the fever Spock had."

"How do you know all this, Charlene?"

"It's all out there on the ship's gossip forums. Look, I know Christine has been a bit much lately, but she doesn't deserve all the abuse she's getting."

"So, what do you want me to do? I got my own mess to deal with."

"What mess is that, young lady? Your husband just got off scot-free from a litany of crimes you and I both know he committed. In fact, you ought to be with him right now celebrating. Why are you sulking in your room with me?"

"I'm not sulking. I'm thinking."

"Uh oh," Charlene sighed dramatically.

"What?"

"When you think too hard, it causes a headache for your friends."

"Girl, shut up!" Uhura pushed Charlene's shoulder playfully.

"It's true. Matter of fact, I heard another rumor."

"And what is that, Miss Busybody?" Uhura asked.

Charlene leaned into Nyota's side and whispered, "Well there is this rumor going around that says, 'Good Dick rots your brain'."

"What?" Uhura couldn't believe what she just heard.

Charlene howled with laughter. "Judging by your recent behavior I think it's true."

"Charlene, will you be serious?" Uhura was not amused by her little joke.

"I am serious. Since you came back from Vulcan 'bonded' to Spock, you haven't been the same."

Nyota seemed to deflate in her seat hearing that. "I know I haven't. I haven't felt the same since I got back. I've got Spock in my head all the time. I have weird dreams, I'm angry, moody, horny, sad, tired, sick. If that's caused by 'Good D' then you can have it."

Charlene held up her hands as if backing away from something dangerous. "Girl, I'm not even gonna touch that. You can keep it to yourself, please. But seriously, I think you should talk to Dr. McCoy about your symptoms. Something sounds suspicious to me."

"Suspicious? How's that?" Nyota wondered.

"Seriously? That 'Good Dick' really is rotting your brain. Ask Dr. McCoy." Charlene insisted.

"I already talked to him. He prescribed a healthy diet and rest. Apparently, I'm not taking care of myself, but how can I when I'm worrying about Spock all the time?"

"Well, Spock's safe now, so worry about yourself more. I want you to go back to Dr. McCoy and demand that he run every test in the book on you, okay? That's an order."

"You don't outrank me," Uhura protested.

"I'm older and I have more experience," Charlene said. Then she softened her expression. "I'm worried about you, Ny. You don't want me to end up in the sickbay right along with you, do you? I've already got gray hairs because of you."

"Of course not, Char. You're the best friend I've ever had."

"Then go get yourself checked out. I'll bet if the doctor really puts his mind to it he can figure out what's wrong with you."

"You really think something is wrong with me?"

"I really do, but I'm not a doctor. McCoy is."

"Okay, I'll do as you say."

"Good girl." Charlene patted Uhura's hand.

"I guess I better start getting ready for my date with Spock."

"Date? You two are married."

"So, didn't you and Sulu tell me to date Spock?"

"Girl, that ship has sailed. You're an old married couple now."

"Nevertheless, we have a date tonight. I might even get lucky and get some of this 'Good D' you've been talking about."

"Honey, you've got a good man. That's worth more than all the dick in the world." Charlene stood to leave, but Uhura stopped her.

"Hey Char, did you know Spock has a brother?"

"Nope! No thanks. I'm not wasting any more of my life on men. Introduce him to Christine, she could use a friend."

Uhura ignored that suggestion."Actually, we don't know where he is... But I'm going to find you a nice Vulcan man. Then you can see what it's like."

"No thanks. I see what it's like and you can keep it. You are a better woman than I am."

"You say that now. Don't knock it until you try it."

"I'll say it a hundred times. I don't need a man. But you do. Go get ready for your date." Charlene pulled Uhura into a hug and kissed her forehead.

"Aye, Aye Captain Masters."

"Someday," Charlene whispered. "Someday."

WHAT IS BEST IN LIFE?

Conan the Barbarian: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.

Charlene Masters: Girlfriends, Gossip, and Good D!