Uhura couldn't catch a hint even if it dropped directly into her hands, falling from an inch above. Or maybe she just doesn't want to know?

Birds do it, bees do it

Even educated fleas do it

~Let's Do It (Let's Fall In Love) by Cole Porter~

Let's Do It!

"Hello there Stranger!" Uhura said to Sulu when she stepped into the ship's garden/greenhouse.

"Oh my!" Sulu looked up from tending his garden. "Well, look who has pulled her head out of Mr. Spock's derriere long enough to take a breath."

"That's disgusting Hikaru! I don't have my head up anyone's anything. You know how things are around here. I've been keeping a low profile, especially since the trial began. You should be thanking me for taking the heat off of you."

"Thank you? For what? For all the stress you've caused me and everyone else, or for ditching me after you finally hooked up with your boo? My flying solo is all on you." Sulu said to her as he continued tending to his flowers.

"My boo? You must've been talking to Charlene. She says Spock and I were 'booed up'," Uhura said, shaking her head.

"Well, Charlene is a GOOD friend," Sulu said as if to emphasize that Uhura somehow was not.

"Yes, she is. I'm a good friend too. I've just been busy. Besides, you told me not to talk to you," Uhura said sadly.

"I told you not to bother me until you can talk to me like an adult. Can you do that?"

"I am an adult. I'm married and I've got the ring to prove it." She held up her hand, flashing her ring.

"Oh ho! So that's why you're here? To show off your ring?"

"Well, who else am I gonna show but my best bud? But, no, that's not why I'm here. I need to apologize for all the drama I've put you through. I was miserable, so I made you miserable too. Now I'm happy and I want my friends to be happy too. I'm sorry I dragged you into my marriage drama."

"You didn't drag me anywhere I didn't want to go, and apology accepted. Now, do you admit you love Spock?"

"Sulu, will you give it a break?"

Sulu shook his head in disbelief. Here she was wearing the man's ring and still pretending. "Nope. Get out." He pointed to the exit.

"Fine. Have it your way." She marched to the door, but she stopped before it opened. Why was Sulu being so stubborn? Why was she? "Yes," she said to the closed door.

"What's that?" she heard Sulu say.

"I said, Yes!"

"Yes, what?" Sulu insisted.

"Yes, to your question." She said getting annoyed.

"What question was that?" he asked.

She turned around to face him. "Must we play these word games?"

"I don't know? Must we?" he asked, not giving an inch.

"Damn it! Hikaru!"

"Damn it, Nyota!" They stared at each other in a face-off for a long stretch, neither one budging.

Finally, Uhura broke. "Alright, I love him. Happy now?"

"No. But you are, and that's what counts."

She ran over to him and grabbed him up in a hug. "I'm sorry Hik. I was being a bitch."

"Yeah, you were," he agreed.

Uhura pinched his shoulder.

"Ouch! Unhand me, woman," he pulled away from her. "What are you trying to do, give me a nerve pinch?"

"I wish I could. I'll have to get Spock to teach me how."

"I'm surprised he hasn't already. But I guess you two have been too busy being holed up in your little love shack." Sulu laughed.

"Hardly. He's already back at work. I've got a few hours to burn until he gets off shift, so here I am. What are you doing Hik?"

"I'm knocking up a few flowers."

Uhura frowned in bewilderment. "Come again?"

"That's what she said!" Sulu laughed hard at his own joke while Nyota scowled at him. "I'm knocking up these plants. I'm trying to get them pregnant so they make little babies." He explained while he squeezed a duster onto one of the flowering plants.

"Why are you doing that? Can't they knock themselves up?"

"No. I have to pollinate them manually. There are no bees to do the job properly. Unlike you and your handsome husband, some of us have to get off by artificial means."

"TMI! I don't want to know what you do to yourself when you're alone. And you better watch what you say, you know someone could take that as sexual harassment and have you up on charges."

"What? I'm just teasing you. You know I meant nothing by it, don't you?" Sulu was very conscious of making Uhura feel safe with him since she told him about his mirror counterpart.

"I know, Hik. Unfortunately, everything I do is under a damn microscope now. There are eyes and ears everywhere. Matter of fact, I found out who reported me for domestic abuse."

"Christine?" Sulu offered.

"How does everybody know my business before I do?"

"I put two and two together and it equaled Chris. She had a motive, means, and opportunity. Question is, what are you going to do about her?"

"What can I do? She's just a busybody troublemaker. All I can do is figure out my own life."

"With the man you love?" Sulu asked.

"Don't rub it in, okay? I might be in love but that doesn't mean I like it."

"Okay, okay. There's no shame in being in love. Christine made a mess of it, but that doesn't mean you have to."

"I hope you're right. I can't wait to get back to work, though. That's when everything will be back to normal."

"Yeah, why are you still walking about in your civies?" Sulu referred to the simple kaftan dress Uhura was wearing.

"Medical leave. Remember, I tried to kill a man for touching me? And then the ship had those mass psychosis incidents."

"That incident affected everyone. Why are you the only one on leave?"

"Spock had a virus that causes telepaths to project their emotions. I heard people calling it the lovebug. Anyway, Spock probably caused it and I had a hand in it too."

"Oh, that thing?" Sulu smiled, remembering the chaos the 'lovebug' caused.

"Where were you when it happened, Sulu? Did you do anything weird?"

"I was alone in my cabin, thank goodness. Otherwise, I might have ended up on charges, as you say. I heard people got a bit out of control in the rec rooms. There may be some more surprise weddings in the future. Where were you, Missy?"

"Oh, well... I was with my husband." She had to grin, thinking of the hand she had played in it all.

The look on her face said there was more to the story. "Oh, really now? Do tell?" Sulu said.

"There's nothing to tell." Uhura fidgeted and walked around the garden, inspecting the flowers.

"Judging by the way you just got all nervous and flustered, I'd say there is plenty to tell. Spill."

"I was with my husband, that's all. Anything we did was mutual, I assure you."

"Ok I'll back off, so stop blushing."

"I'm not blushing... It's hot in here." Uhura fanned her face with her hand.

That made Sulu concerned. "The temperature in here is strictly regulated and so is the humidity. But you do look a little flushed. Come sit down." He guided her to a stool. "Chekov told me you passed out during the trial. Everything ok?"

"Yes, Charlene is already nagging me to get a checkup, so don't bother. I've been in the sickbay so much lately I practically live there now. I've been poked and prodded and psychoanalyzed until I can't think straight. Spock thinks it might have something to do with our bond. That's why we're going to Vulcan again."

"Aw, I'm sure it's nothing serious, or else the Dr. would tell you and Spock."

"I'm sure he'd tell Spock," Uhura said.

"What's that supposed to mean? Do you think Spock knows something you don't?"

"I don't know. He is so hard to read. I don't have an inkling what goes on in that Vulcan mind of his sometimes."

"Spock is a practical man and unlikely to keep anything important from you. Besides, I thought you were taking my advice and talking to him like a mature adult."

"Sulu, you ought to know me by now. I'm anything but a mature adult sometimes."

Sulu held his hands up, backing away. "You said it, not me," he said and went back to his pollination duties.

"What are you fertilizing, anyway?"

"Pollinating. I'm doing tomatoes, and then cucumbers, squash, and strawberries. I've got some fruit trees in the back too. I like to have fresh fruit and veg when I can get them. The ship's replicators are pretty good at replicating cooked foods but salads are still-"

"Yuck!" She made a gagging sound.

"Exactly. Nothing compares to the taste of a real strawberry."

"I don't know about the cooked replicator food either. Lately, I've had to cook my own food, which is probably why I can't eat. Luckily Spock is a simple man to please, he'll eat anything."

"Ooh, tell me about it." Sulu flashed a wicked grin.

She swatted at Sulu. "Hush you, I'm talking about food. Still, the replicator food seems a bit off to me lately. Sometimes the smell is nauseating. I'll have maintenance take a look at it later."

"I can give you a few simple recipes that even you couldn't ruin. And you're always welcome to anything here in the garden. There are quite a few salad greens ready to harvest."

"Thank you Hik. I think I will grab a few things. Spock deserves a home-cooked meal since being locked up." She stood and gave Sulu another hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Careful, not too close. I'm only trying to impregnate tomatoes."

She kept her grip on him though, "Sulu I've missed you, you know."

"I know, I've missed you too. But you're here now, so grab a duster and start pollinating." He pointed to a tomato bush.

"I don't know what to do."

"Just put a little puff of pollen on each flower you find, and in a few weeks we'll have beautiful red tomatoes."

"It's that easy?"

"Yep, that's how the birds and the bees do it." They were silent as they worked when Sulu finally spoke.

"Ny, I've been thinking about your problem."

"What problem?"

"You think there could be some correlation between you and Spock and this lovebug and your other symptoms, right?"

"Yes, I told you we've been examined over and over. But Dr. McCoy doesn't know a lot about Vulcan telepathy and how it affects humans. So I'm on leave until we can consult Vulcan doctors."

"Maybe it's not because of telepathy or your bond. Maybe it's something simple, like the birds and bees."

"I don't follow?"

"I think you should follow Charlene's suggestion and see Dr. McCoy again."

Uhura rolled her eyes. "Not you too. Are you dating Charlene or something? You're nagging just like her."

"I'm not nagging you. I just made a friendly suggestion. I'm sure you'll figure it out eventually though."

"I hope sooner rather than later."

"Ny, I can almost guarantee that in a few months you'll be rewarded with the fruits of your labor." Sulu laughed quietly while he knocked up a few more berries.

This was going to be an outtake that I cut, but I repurposed it and shoved it back in. I suppose it's just too obvious what's coming next?