Nyota never got a bridal shower, but her friends are making up for that now.

Ooh that dress so scandalous

And you know another n***a couldn't handle it

So you shakin' that thang like who's the ish

With a look in your eyes so devilish, uh

~Thong Song by Sisqó~

Shower The People You Love

Uhura's door chimed very early in the morning. Too early for anyone to be dropping by for a visit. She was still in bed, though as usual, Spock was long gone. She absolutely positively did not want to get up, but the bell chimed a second time. Whoever it was would not take a hint and leave.

So she got up, put on a thick bathrobe, and trudged to the door. Whoever it was, they had better be dying or something to wake her up at this ungodly hour.

The smiling face of Ensign Pavel Chekov greeted her when she opened her door. "Pavel? What are you doing here so early?"

"Early? I've been up for hours. Besides, as we say in Russia, the early bird gets the worm."

"I think everyone on Earth says that Pavel, but what do you want?" She couldn't help but grin. Pavel was cute as a button, no matter how annoying he was.

"I just wanted to be the first to give you this little gift. He handed her a small box."

"Why?"

He smiled brightly. "It is a vedding gift," he said with his cute accent.

"Oh, you didn't have to do that Pavel," Uhura said, but she took the box, anyway. Who the heck turned down gifts?

"It is tradition. And you are my dear friend. Congratulations Mrs. Spock." He gave her a chaste peck on the cheek.

"Uhura," she said automatically.

"I beg your pardon?" Chekov said.

"I'm Uhura or Lieutenant Uhura will do. Chekov, I'm still me." She went inside and put the box on the table.

"I just wanted to show you and Mr. Spock all due respect."

"Good. Then respect me by calling me by my name. Look, nothing is going to change just because Spock and I are married. We've been married for months now and nothing's changed, right?"

"I suppose so." He still seemed unsure.

"Pavel, thank you so much for the gift, but I'm tired. I'd like to go back to bed if you don't mind?" She smiled sweetly, but her eyes told him to beat it.

"Of course. I am sorry to disturb you Misses um... Miss... uh Lieutenant Uhura." He awkwardly saluted her and left.

Uhura laughed at his silliness once the door closed behind him. Pavel was a sweet kid. She was about to return to bed and leave the gift to open with Spock when he got back since Pavel did not specify it for either of them, but her curiosity got the better of her and she ripped it open and then nearly dropped the box.

Inside were two furry things that looked a lot like tribbles. Was Pavel out of his Russian mind? Those things reproduced like... Tribbles! Slowly she took them out and discovered they were slippers. Tribble slippers? She hoped to god no tribbles died to make these things.

She looked at the slippers, wondering what the hell Pavel was thinking to give her something like this, then she realized it was a damn gag gift. It had begun.

Uhura never got back to bed. All day her buzzer went off with people dropping off 'wedding gifts' for her and Spock. Some were genuinely thoughtful, but most were gags. She got some good perfume, skimpy lingerie, his and her toiletries, edible underwear, crotchless panties, and G-strings for him and her, padded handcuffs, blindfolds, chocolate sauce, body oils and creams in different flavors, and even a feather duster. That last one was a mystery. Was she supposed to clean their quarters or was it some weird fetish device?

She was busy sorting through the boxes of gifts received when Spock got home later that evening. As expected, he was unfazed seeing the mess in the room but he asked, "What is all of this, Aduna? A new hobby?"

Uhura jumped up from her seat at the table and greeted Spock with a bear hug and deep kiss. "Welcome home, sugar!" She said in a throaty voice.

"Aduna, are you feeling alright?" He asked with concern.

"Oh relax," she hugged him tighter. "This is how married people act. I think."

"Oh, I see. But I believe traditionally you are supposed to clean the home, not uh... not do this?" He pointed to the debris scattered all over the sitting room.

"These are our wedding gifts. I was just sorting them out. And since you're home, you can help."

"Of course. This is very thoughtful of your friends."

"Our friends. What's mine is yours, remember?"

"Yes, ours." Spock agreed. He went to the table and looked at the array of items, but most of them baffled him. What was all this... stuff? He picked up something that smelled sweet and looked sticky... "What is this?"

"Edible underwear. Want to try it on?"

"Um no, I don't think so." Sticky underwear did not appeal to him and he dropped it back in the box.

The look she gave Spock was devilish. "Want me to try it on? It's unisex."

Spock could tell Nyota was very pleased with the gifts they had received, so he would try not to spoil her enjoyment of it all. But this tradition seemed highly illogical. "I take it these gifts are all of a prurient nature?"

"Some of them are. Some are really practical. You've seen people get married on the Enterprise before. This is all par for the course."

Spock picked up another 'gift'. The picture on the box showed a device that had wires and buttons and remote controls. "What is this?"

"Oh, my god. Spock, I know what that is." She snatched the box away from him, but he read the gift card. It was from Charlene.

"She shouldn't have!" Uhura said.

"What shouldn't she have?"

"These are top-of-the-line toys. One person wears it and the other person controls the toy with the remote device." She passed the box back to Spock and gathered a few more 'gifts'.

"How is that a toy? Is it some kind of mind control device?"

She looked at him with a deadpan expression. "C'mon now. You're not that naïve?"

"In this instance, I am," Spock confessed.

"Well, good thing you married me. I know just what to do with these. Now go get naked!" She pushed him towards the bedroom.

Spock stalled. "Aduna, what is this all about? What are you going to do with that?"

"We're going to play with our gifts. Do not be a spoilsport." She pouted.

"Naked?" he asked doubtfully. He did not want to be a spoilsport, but neither did he want to be remote-controlled, especially while naked. His body had been controlled before, and it was not something he wanted to experience again.

She gave him a wicked grin. "The best games are played naked. Trust me. You'll enjoy it."

He did trust her, but... "And what about you?" Why was he the only one getting naked?

"What about me?"

"Are you going to undress as well?"

"Sugar, I stay ready so I don't have to get ready." She untied her bathrobe and underneath it, Spock saw that she was wearing lingerie made from tiny hoops of candy strung together. "Hungry?" she asked.

Fascinating. He rarely indulged in sweets, but his mouth was watering. Audibly swallowing, all he could do was nod his head yes because he suddenly lost the ability to speak coherently.

"Well then, get naked cause we're having dinner in bed tonight." Uhura grabbed the box of toys from Spock and headed for the bedroom.

I banged this chapter out real quick last night(tee hee hee, pun intended). It was supposed to set up something that's long overdue, but then it went down the wrong path or maybe the right one. Anyway, I thought it was too funny to cut.